Angels of Armageddon
by Ryan Xavier
Summary: Love and warfare after the apocalypse...
1. Chapter 1 (revised)

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
Foreword: Well, here I am again, writing Eva fics. The response I got   
for "An Unwilling Angel" was so strong that I figured I might as well   
try it again.  
  
No, this is not a sequel to my last fic. This is a whole new story,   
taking place within the Eva universe. What kind is it? Well, my last   
fic was a series-divergent thing, so I figured this time around I'd try   
a continuation.  
  
The standard warnings apply for this fic, but in addition, I'll throw   
in this one: You will hate me for this. You will think me a filthy   
hypocrite who deserves a bullet in the brain. You will think up all   
sorts of horrible ways to make me regret ever having started writing   
fics. All I can say is, trust me. Juuuust trust me. ^_^  
  
But enough of this; odds are you just skipped over the foreword anyway.   
Let's get down to business:  
  
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" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = emphasis (italics)  
  
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Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 1: A World Reborn  
  
It was over. The world had ended.  
  
There was a sea of thought, present within a sea of primordial ooze,   
LCL. Individuality was a thing of the past. All was one. The   
thoughts of many were combined into a single whole. The Eighteenth   
Angel. The heir to all that was, and all that would be.  
  
But...in the past years, that whole had been shrinking. The entities   
that composed it were aware of this. Some ignored it, preferring to   
remain in their unified state. Others recognized the change and   
embraced it. Those who did so were the next ones to vanish from the   
whole.  
  
It was not a frequent occurrence by far, but every so often, an AT   
fields would light up in the LCL. As each AT field activated, another   
soul was removed. At one point in time - though time was a moot point   
for the Eighteenth Angel - another AT field activated, but only barely.  
  
An ordinary piece of the Eighteenth Angel would not have been able to   
control its AT field to this extent. But this piece was slightly   
different. Though integrated into the whole with the rest of the   
world, it was capable of a much larger degree of control over itself   
and the Angel as a whole.  
  
^The sea of LCL is shrinking,^ the entity thought. ^Yet this was to be   
expected. With Third Impact denied, then those who were joined have   
the capacity to go back to being individuals. But why would they?^  
  
The entity thought about this for some time. It couldn't reason out an   
answer.  
  
^Because they have a reason to,^ came another voice. The first entity   
took notice of this new arrival. It was also generating an AT field.   
It had gone one step further, to the point that it could not only   
establish its individuality but also communicate.  
  
^Impossible...^ the first entity thought. It strengthened its own AT   
field to allow communication. ^You should not even be able to exist.^  
  
^By the same token, you should not exist. Yet you do.^  
  
^I am different from you.^  
  
^Not in this form. And it seems I was joined with you just prior to   
Impact. Hence, I survived, because you did.^  
  
^It should not be possible.^  
  
^Yet it happened. Now, I believe you were asking why people were   
leaving?^  
  
^Yes...^ the first entity replied. ^And you said...^  
  
^Because they have a reason to,^ the second entity repeated. ^Some go   
back because they can see no other option. Others recognize what they   
are giving up, but prefer reality to a lie, no matter how painful   
reality may be.^  
  
^I do not understand.^  
  
^Of course. I myself cannot fully comprehend it, either. Yet it   
continues.^  
  
^But I...^ the entity trailed off, having just used a pronoun to refer   
to itself for the first time in an eternity. It cleared its mind and   
continued. ^But I...did what I was supposed to. I made a perfect   
world.^  
  
^Perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Some lilum prefer to be   
individuals.^  
  
^But they will be in pain.^  
  
^They prefer the pain. Because it reminds them that they are alive.   
Without pain, the Lilum are unaware of their own existence. But there   
are avenues to escape pain, as well.^  
  
^What do you mean?^  
  
^It is difficult to understand. Here, the Lilum are joined as one.   
When they are apart, they also seek to join with others. But they   
prefer to do this while maintaining their sense of self.^  
  
^Then they will never achieve full joining,^ the first entity   
concluded, logically.  
  
^True. But they do not seem to care. They seem to prefer _seeking_   
unity, instead of having it _given_ to them.^  
  
The first entity pondered this for a long time. The second one waited   
patiently.  
  
^I...believe I may understand. I have but a fleeting, hazy memory.^  
  
^It is a start. Many lilum have less than that.^  
  
^I suppose so. But...for a moment, I understood the theory you're   
putting forth. To join your soul with one person.^  
  
^Yes. Does this interest you?^  
  
^I do not know.^  
  
^You should.^  
  
^Yet I do not. And yet I...doubt I can follow this avenue. The entity   
I may have desired in this way is no longer present.^  
  
^He died?^  
  
^No. He left the sea of LCL.^  
  
^You can do so, as well.^  
  
The first entity gave the mental equivalent of a nod. It had   
originally thought that it was trapped here, having created the world   
it was supposed to live in. But in the time since the sea of LCL had   
first been created, it had slowly come to realize that it could also   
depart. But it had remained by choice.  
  
^It was my purpose to create this world,^ it argued. ^It is not   
logical to abandon it.^  
  
^Look around,^ the second entity replied, its 'voice' almost harsh.   
^The world you created is collapsing in on itself. It makes more sense   
to leave.^  
  
^Then why have you not left?^  
  
^As I said, I was joined with you. Neither of us can leave unless the   
other does, as well.^  
  
^Interesting. But...it would mean a return to pain.^  
  
^Yes.^  
  
^I lived in pain for nearly my entire life. More pain than any other   
human would ever feel. I don't wish to go back to that.^  
  
^You are still different, you know. Just that you can create an AT   
field of this caliber without departing the sea of LCL is evidence   
enough. You may leave, and if you wish, later you may give up your   
body again and return to this form.^  
  
Another long silence followed.  
  
^The pain will return...^ the first entity began, again. ^But...I   
still wish to know why the souls are leaving...^  
  
^You are pondering your feelings, it seems.^  
  
^Yes, I am. I may feel the same as the other humans do.^  
  
^Then?^ the second entity asked, its voice expectant.  
  
^Then let us return.^  
  
The second entity agreed. In the sea of LCL, two AT fields appeared.   
LCL was drawn together, as two humanoid forms took shape. Then...  
  
SPLASH.  
  
A small geyser of LCL erupted as both entities took full physical form.   
Their lungs filled with the liquid, weighing them down and causing them   
to sink to the bottom. But they were not far from land. One took the   
other, and led the way to the surface.  
  
And back to life.  
  
* * *  
  
If you'd been sitting on the beach, you would have seen the depression   
in the orange LCL sea form, just before the splash had erupted. Then,   
had you been looking very hard, you'd have seen a dark, blurry shape   
moving along the bottom of sea. The form walked up the incline of the   
beach, towards the dry land beyond.  
  
A head broke the surface, LCL falling down in rivulets off of its   
silvery-gray hair. The owner of the head kept walking up, coming   
completely into view.  
  
It was definitely a boy who was walking. He had a slight build and was   
quite pale, but he also looked very determined. Each step brought him   
a little further up. As he kept walking, it became obvious that he was   
carrying something in his arms. Another step, and his burden broke the   
surface: it was a girl, her skin as pale as the boy's, but with blue   
hair instead of gray.  
  
The boy kept walking, somehow handling the weight of the girl as though   
she weighed nothing. The boy was wearing a short-sleeved white shirt   
and black pants - a school uniform from back before Third Impact. The   
girl, however, was naked. They both choked up lungfuls of LCL as they   
were finally exposed to the air.  
  
The boy kept walking, still determined, until he made it up onto the   
beach. It was there that he fell to his knees. He put the girl down   
as gently as he could, and then fell face-first into the sand,   
breathing in the air he hadn't tasted for what felt like forever. The   
grainy sand plastered itself onto their bodies, sticking to the goo   
that covered them both like a second skin.   
  
After a while, the boy's lips curled into a smile. "We made it," he   
said, speaking into the ground. He was too tired to get up. "We're   
here."  
  
The girl groaned, rolling over and opening her eyes. Blood-red irises   
looked up at the heavens. It was a blue sky again, not the red/orange   
sky it had been back before the Eighteenth Angel had begun to lose its   
power.  
  
The boy threw himself onto his back and opened his eyes, which were   
also red. He coughed lightly from the sand he'd inhaled.  
  
"You did not have to carry me," the girl said.  
  
"You were not moving. I knew how weak I was, and I figured you would   
need help."  
  
"Yet you have exhausted yourself."  
  
"It was worth it, Ayanami," the boy said, using a name for the first   
time. He glanced over at her. "And why aren't you wearing clothes?"  
  
Ayanami got up into a sitting position, making some cursory effort to   
brush the abrasive sand off of her skin. She held her legs against her   
chest and looked out onto the sea. "We all come back as we see   
ourselves,"she responded. "You are not unchanged, Nagisa-kun."  
  
The boy did his best to quirk an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" he   
asked.  
  
Rei reached down and lightly traced a line on his neck. Sure enough,   
going all the way around his neck was a pale scar, a jagged, pink strip   
of half-healed flesh, as thick as the girl's finger.  
  
"That is what you remember, and how you see yourself now," Rei added.   
She then fell silent, looking out onto the ocean.  
  
Kaoru fingered his scar. He was interested, but at the same time he   
understood where it came from. There were many - much worse - other   
things that could be wrong with him, he reasoned.  
  
After a while, he found the strength to sit up. "Night will fall   
soon," he said, looking at the sky. "It will get cold."  
  
Rei nodded, barely.  
  
"I'll see if I can find something for you to wear," he said, getting to   
his feet. He was promptly overcome by nausea, falling back to his   
knees, gasping.  
  
"Returning is not an easy thing," Rei said, not looking at him.   
"Conserve your strength."  
  
Kaoru ignored her, forcing himself back to his feet. "I'll be fine,"   
he said. "But you won't be if you freeze out here."  
  
Rei made a small noise of agreement.  
  
Kaoru stumbled away from the beach, sure that Rei would stay where she   
was. The exercise actually woke him up, forcing his brain back to full   
consciousness. His muscles were still quite tired, but he made himself   
keep moving. If he fell asleep now, then all the work of returning   
would be meaningless.  
  
To keep himself conscious, he started brushing at his body, dusting off   
the sand. He also started looking around, getting a look at what the   
world was like after Third Impact.   
  
The view was not very encouraging.  
  
He was surrounded by desolation and destruction. The very landscape   
had been warped by the cataclysm that had come not so long ago. The   
soil was stained a red-brown color resembling that of rust. Rocks of   
all sizes had been scattered about. Perhaps those rocks had once been   
buildings, but there was no way to tell; some of them had been outright   
melted.  
  
Yet Japan had not been completely levelled. All around, there were   
broken panes of glass, pieces of cars, and shattered homes, scattered   
like dust to the wind. Yet they were all intact enough to show that   
they had once been inhabited. Even in the face of total annihilation,   
some indications of humanity's presence still remained.   
  
He reached a structure, something that might have once been a house.   
But the explosion of Third Impact had gutted it, nearly pushing it to   
the ground. He mentally shrugged and looked around for a way in. He   
eventually ducked in through a window, the once-upright pane of glass   
now shattered into a million glittering pieces, undisturbed for what   
must have been years.   
  
Inside was more chaos. Ruined furniture and pieces of the walls   
littered the floor. An abandoned doll lay upside-down against a chunk   
of the rubble, its stitched face still locked into a smile. The toy's   
arm was missing, and its clothes were covered in dust and ash. Kaoru   
briefly wondered if somewhere there was a little girl, crying over her   
missing doll.  
  
But he didn't have time for idle thoughts like that. He looked around   
for something he could use, his white shoes crunching on the ruined   
plaster. Luckily for him, the setting sun gave just the right angle   
that its last beams came in through a hole in the roof, offering very   
good illumination.  
  
He found a door that led downstairs, to a basement. The stairs were   
destroyed, but he managed to clamber down through the ruins, which had   
made a haphazard ramp. At one point, his foot slipped, and he lashed   
out wildly, only just barely grabbing a handhold before falling.   
Catching his breath and wiping the sweat off of his brow, he continued   
down.  
  
Downstairs was still in disarray, but more collected than the rest of   
the house, possibly by merit of having been underground. In a closet,   
Kaoru hit the jackpot: some clothes sitting in a dresser. Most of it   
was mildewed and shredded, but he managed to find some women's clothing   
that was at least serviceable. He also made sure to find shoes before   
he left, remembering how grateful he'd been that his feet were covered   
back upstairs.  
  
With his prizes in tow, he went back up into the house, and outside.   
The climb back up the 'stairs' went more smoothly than the climb down   
had been, but as the wind picked up, the entire house groaned and   
swayed, eddies of dust falling from every crack and crag. Kaoru sped   
up, getting out of the house as quickly as he could.  
  
He walked back to the beach, where Rei still sat, apparently not having   
moved since he'd left.  
  
"Here," he said, dropping the clothes down next to her. "I hope   
they're your size."  
  
Rei glanced at the pile. "They will suffice," she responded. She   
maintained her sitting position a moment longer, then got up and began   
to get dressed. Kaoru looked away, not out of concern for modesty, but   
because he was interested in the rest of the landscape.  
  
"Do you know where we are?" he asked, offhandedly.  
  
"It appears we are still in Japan," Rei replied, pulling on a dress.   
"Just outside of Tokyo-2, judging from the ruins."  
  
The clothes fit, more or less. The dress was a simple white, though   
age and dust had darkened the color slightly. The seams were frayed   
and it was tight in some places while loose in others. But, it was   
better than nothing. Rei didn't have problems with modesty, but she   
_did_ know it was a good idea to have some insulation against cold   
weather.  
  
Kaoru heard the rustles of Rei's dressing stop as she finished pulling   
on her clothes. "Well then, that's a start," he said. "I'd suggest we   
get moving, but..." he stopped, sitting down on the sand, "I don't   
really want to move, right now."  
  
"We should seek shelter, Nagisa-kun."  
  
"That would be even more dangerous than staying out here," Kaoru   
replied. "The nearest house is ready to collapse. I doubt we'll find   
anything within easy walking distance."  
  
"That is logical," she said. She lay down next to him, looking back up   
at the sky.  
  
"We can start looking for Lilum settlements in the morning," Kaoru   
said, glancing at her. "There should be something set up, somewhere."  
  
"Very well," Rei said, turning on her side. Kaoru did likewise, so   
they were lying back-to-back, next to each other to conserve body heat.  
  
Kaoru's eyelids drooped, and he felt his mind shutting down.   
"It's...still good to be back," he said.  
  
"I suppose so...yes, it is," Rei responded. She closed her own eyes.   
In moments, they were both asleep.  
  
* * *  
  
Rei and Kaoru woke up early the next morning, and started walking. In   
the distance, they'd seen the ruins of Tokyo-2. They headed towards   
the city, since that was logically the best place for more humans to   
go.  
  
It took them a day's worth of steady walking. For the first few hours,   
their only problems were tired legs. After that, hunger set in. To   
get their minds off of their rumbling stomachs, they talked to each   
other. Any subject was worth a few words, so long as it kept the   
silence at bay and distracted them. For the first hour or two, Kaoru   
did most of the talking. Rei slowly opened up, if only because the boy   
was giving no sign that he intended to shut up.  
  
The subject of conversation eventually drifted over to something they'd   
both been subconsciously avoiding: Shinji Ikari.  
  
"I wonder how Shinji-kun is doing..." Kaoru began, his voice starting   
to go hoarse from the constant talking on his part. He stopped,   
knowing he might have just made a mistake bringing this up, but he   
continued anyway. "He was the first one to leave, you know."  
  
"He and Soryu," Rei corrected.  
  
"Yes, of course. Do you think he's doing well?"  
  
"I do not know. I have not seen him, so I cannot answer."  
  
"Then I'll correct myself. How do you hope to find him?"  
  
"..."  
  
"_I_ hope he is well," Kaoru replied, answering his own question.   
"Shinji-kun was my best friend. We meant a lot to each other. And I   
know him. If it was at all possible for him to survive, then he would   
have."  
  
"I suppose so," Rei responded.  
  
Kaoru fell silent, choosing his next words as he concentrated on the   
sound of their footsteps. He was breathing hard by this point, and   
even Rei was beginning to sweat.  
  
"You want to find him though, don't you, Rei?" He used her first name,   
since they'd been each other's only companions for long enough that it   
only made sense.  
  
"I would like to see him."  
  
"So would I. But is that all? Do you want to say anything to him?"  
  
"I do not know."  
  
Kaoru grinned a little. "Do you want him to smile at you?"  
  
"Perhaps."  
  
"Do you want him to touch you?"  
  
"..."  
  
"That's a 'yes', coming from you, isn't it, Rei?"  
  
"..."  
  
"You need to change, you know. Shinji-kun often talked with me about   
you. He found you interesting, but always distant and mysterious."  
  
"I do not know how to change," Rei said, accelerating slightly. "I am   
who I am."  
  
Kaoru forced his legs to move faster. "Once, at night, he was trying   
to go to sleep, but he couldn't. He talked to me about you. I clearly   
remember that at one point he said you were attractive, in your own   
way."  
  
Rei slowed down again, as Kaoru studied her face intently. There: he   
could see a slight blush creeping over her cheeks.  
  
"Does that embarass you?" he asked.  
  
"I...yes, it does."  
  
"That's a start, Rei. You're trying to block out that emotion, because   
you don't understand it. Why don't you try exploring it a little?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Well, I can't expect too much from you in a day. It is just something   
to think about."  
  
After that, the conversation died off. Kaoru was too short of breath   
to try any long sentences, and Rei appeared to be lost in her own   
thoughts, as usual.  
  
They finally came to the ruins of Tokyo-2. The city had not come out   
unharmed; most of the old skyscrapers were canted over precarious   
angles. But they were both sure it was better off than Tokyo-3, which   
had been right at the heart of Third Impact.  
  
Sure enough, about a half a kilometer from the city limits, they could   
see fires and small structures, denoting civilization. They headed for   
that.  
  
It wasn't long before they reached the outskirts of the small town. It   
was composed of shanties, quite obviously made from whatever had been   
found lying around. Many of the houses looked unstable, but they still   
looked more balanced than the remaining structures in Tokyo-2.  
  
A man with long hair perked up as he heard their approaching footsteps.   
He took one look at them...and just stared. The pair walked by him.   
  
Kaoru glanced at the long-haired man as they passed. "Good afternoon,   
Aoba-san," he said, greeting the former NERV technician. The man could   
only manage a nod in response, his eyes still wide.  
  
They walked into the town. There weren't many people, but that was to   
be expected; just because people left the sea of LCL didn't mean they   
would end up here. They would go to where they felt they most   
belonged.  
  
They passed several people along the way. Not everyone recognized   
Kaoru, but almost everyone knew Rei on sight. The reaction was always   
the same: stark fear. Here was the being they'd seen just before   
they'd been dissolved into LCL. Was it going to happen again? Why was   
she back?  
  
They stopped in the middle of the encampment, eyes from all its   
inhabitants following their every move. Neither of the children felt   
uncomfortable; Rei was long used to odd stares, and Kaoru couldn't care   
less what people thought of him.  
  
Looking around, they heard slow, even footsteps coming up behind them.   
Rei turned around, to be greeted by the sight of Misato Katsuragi.  
  
"Rei?" the woman asked. She swallowed to clear her throat. "Is...is   
that really you?"  
  
Rei blinked once, then nodded curtly.  
  
She was abruptly caught up in the most crushing hug she'd ever received   
in her life. Misato buried the girl in her chest, leaning her head   
down and crying.  
  
"I thought you wouldn't come back..." Misato said. "And..." she looked   
up. "Nagisa-san?"  
  
"Yes, it's me, Major...I guess that title doesn't apply anymore. It's   
me, Katsuragi-san."  
  
Rei soon found herself pressed up against Kaoru as Misato pulled the   
boy into the hug, too. Normally, she wouldn't have cared, but this   
time, she felt some lingering disappointment. She didn't understand   
the emotion at first, but then decided to follow Kaoru's advice: she   
explored it instead.  
  
Rei thought it over, coming to a conclusion by the time Misato had   
released them. She'd been disappointed because she'd been hoping to   
see Shinji when she turned around. And it hadn't been him. She'd   
wanted Shinji to be hugging her. ^Yes, you were right, Kaoru-san,^ she   
thought to herself. ^Perhaps I do desire contact with Ikari-kun.^  
  
"Did you just get back?" Misato asked them, holding onto their hands.   
Her hands kept squeezing every few seconds, as though checking to make   
sure the children in front of her were really there.  
  
Kaoru noted Rei's speculative state and took the initiative. "Yes, we   
did, Katsuragi-san. Excuse me a moment." He turned to face the   
gathering crowd. "You needn't worry!" he said, loudly. "We aren't   
here to harm you. We just want the same things you do. We want to   
start our lives over."  
  
Most people hesitantly accepted this, turned around, and left. The   
others lingered, but looked slightly more at ease. Kaoru turned back   
to Misato.  
  
"My apologies. But I had to handle that problem. The people here seem   
frightened of us."  
  
"Well...yeah. You were the last Angel, and Rei...Rei, why are they so   
scared of you? Just because you were with him?"  
  
Rei blinked as Misato's comment broke her train of thought. She   
quickly reviewed what had just been said. "No, they have other   
reasons," she responded.  
  
Misato was not satisfied with that answer. She was about to ask Rei to   
clarify when a voice sounded over her shoulder.  
  
"Misato-san? I heard someone new just came in."  
  
Kaoru whipped around towards the voice, while Rei, already facing in   
that direction, froze up. The girl's eyes widened ever so slightly,   
and her face seemed to...brighten.  
  
Misato stepped out of the way, revealing Shinji Ikari to both of the   
other children.  
  
A long silence followed, as the three children just stared at one   
another. Rei studied Shinji's face. He looked different, having aged   
in the past two years. But it wasn't just the age; his face looked   
harder and more weathered by the environment. But there was still no   
mistaking Shinji for anyone other than Shinji.  
  
"You...it's _you_?" he asked the two.  
  
Rei seemed disappointed with this reaction, but Kaoru stepped fowards,   
towards Shinji. "We just came back, Shinji-kun. It seems we were   
lucky enough to find you, and -"  
  
They were cut off as Shinji hugged them both, just like Misato had,   
only with less force. His eyes filled with tears, which slowly began   
to trickle down his face.  
  
"You came back..." he mumbled. "I'm so happy...I thought I'd never see   
you again..."  
  
Rei was surprised by the sudden physical contact, but found that she   
didn't mind, either. She was truly confused by the smile that was   
threatening to break out on her face.  
  
Shinji finally let them go, and wiped off his eyes. "I'm such a   
wimp," he said, drying his face. He turned towards Kaoru. "But...you   
made it! When did you get back? When did you get here? Who else have   
you seen? Have you - "  
  
"Slow down, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said, putting one hand on Shinji's   
shoulder. "We'll answer all the questions you want. But...I don't   
suppose you have anything to eat? We're both rather hungry."  
  
Shinji blinked, then smiled broadly. "_That_, we've got plenty of.   
C'mon," he said, dragging Kaoru and Rei along. The two children did   
their best to keep up. Misato followed closely.  
  
"Here's where I'm staying," Shinji said, leading them into a small   
'house' made of bits of rubble leaning against each other. "It's not   
much, but it keeps out the rain, and it's actually pretty warm at   
night, if I get a fire going."  
  
Kaoru and Rei sat down on the dusty ground, while Shinji and Misato ran   
off to get food.  
  
"Well, you saw him again," Kaoru said, glancing at Rei. "How do you   
feel?"  
  
"I feel...more at ease."  
  
"Happy?" Kaoru suggested.  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
"Be more certain. Are you happy?"  
  
"...yes, I am." Rei thought about this for a moment, then smiled. It   
wasn't much, but it was still a noticeable smile. Many of her earlier   
memories were hazy. But, she could still remember Shinji explaining   
this was what you did when you were happy. She could only just barely   
remember _when_ he'd said that, but his advice still lingered in her   
mind.  
  
"Good." Kaoru hesitated, looking around outside to see who was nearby.   
"So how do you feel about him?"  
  
"I...do not know."  
  
"When will you know?"  
  
"I do not know how he has changed. I will need to spend more time with   
him," Rei said.   
  
"You're looking forward to that, I see," Kaoru said, noticing the way   
Rei's smile grew ever-so-slightly at her last comment. "You enjoy   
being near him."  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"Interesting."  
  
Shinji and Misato returned moments later with food, in the form of some   
kind of soup.  
  
"Don't worry, there's no meat in it," he explained, remembering how   
neither Rei nor Kaoru ate meat. Kaoru looked grateful for this, but   
Rei gave no outward sign that she'd noticed the favor. Both children   
started filling their empty stomachs, which were beginning to rumble   
loudly.  
  
Misato and Shinji watched the two, with smiles on their faces. "So   
when did you get back?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Just yesterday," Kaoru answered after swallowing. "We've been walking   
all day today."  
  
"Sorry. It must've been tough."  
  
"We managed," Rei commented. Shinji turned towards her, hesitantly, as   
she spoke. Their eyes locked for a moment. Shinji could see Rei's   
characteristic detachment most prominently, but could also see some   
hint of her confusion. Rei, on the other hand, saw a swirl of emotions   
in the boy's face. Nervousness, anger, even...fear?  
  
"Hey!" came another familiar voice, loud enough to carry far past where   
they were. Shinji tore his eyes off of Rei's, turning his head to look   
back at the doorway. Rei was left wondering what it meant, those   
feelings she'd seen.  
  
"I heard some more people came back!" the new voice shouted, as its   
owner came into view.  
  
Asuka walked in from around the wall. "So who is it..." she stopped,   
seeing Rei and Kaoru. For a moment, her face was inscrutable. Then,   
she closed her eyes, as though concentrating. One deep breath later,   
she put on what _looked_ like a genuine smile. "So you made it," she   
said, her voice calmer. "Shinji was..._we_ were worried you wouldn't."  
  
Rei studied Asuka as she sat down with them. The redhead looked like   
she was being honest, but Rei couldn't tell for sure. "You look well,   
Soryu."  
  
Indeed she did. Asuka looked like she'd been through the same things   
Shinji had, both in terms of years and experience. She now looked like   
a mature young woman.  
  
Asuka's left hand came up, in a reflexive motion. Her finger traced a   
line on her face. As Rei took a closer look, she could see a white   
line starting above Asuka's left eyebrow and going downwards, stopping   
abruptly at her eye and starting again on the bottom of her eye. As   
she blinked, Rei could see the scar even continued across her eyelid.  
  
"Yeah, I'm still in one piece," she responded, her smile falling a   
little.  
  
"No one's come out unharmed," Misato said, watching. "People come back   
with all sorts of different clothes. Sometimes their bodies are   
different."  
  
"Humans return in the form they see themselves in," Rei commented,   
trying to clear up the unspoken question of why people didn't always   
return the way they'd left. She looked at Shinji.   
  
Shinji looked at Rei for a moment, as though thinking about something,   
then started, smiling again. His smile, however, looked a little   
forced. "People keep returning," he said. "Every week someone new   
breezes in."  
  
Rei nodded, maintaining eye contact.  
  
"Most of them come here, because it's the place they remember as home.   
We're trying to rebuild, and everyone who comes back helps."  
  
"So Rei and I will have to work our keep, then?" Kaoru asked.  
  
Shinji nodded. "Everyone does their part. You'll have all the time   
you need to recover, but you'll have to help."  
  
"It must be hard," Kaoru said, resting his chin on one hand.  
  
"Well, we're lucky," Misato said. "Only the ones with the will to   
survive come back. So we only get people willing to work. They want   
to rebuild their homes."  
  
"And..." Misato said, glancing over at Shinji. "Shinji's been a big   
help."  
  
Shinji blushed a little. "Well, I..."  
  
"Baka," Asuka said, playfully. She scooted over, until she was sitting   
next to Shinji. She looked over at Rei and Kaoru. "Shinji tries to   
help everyone who needs it. He's the closest thing to a leader we   
have."  
  
"Well..." Shinji said, hesitantly. "Misato helps. And so does _this_   
girl," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her up   
against him.  
  
"Hey!" Asuka said, again playfully. "Leggo!"  
  
"Oh, calm down," he said, hanging onto her. He looked over at Rei.   
"Asuka's been keeping me going. The first few days, I kept wondering   
if I could do it. I mean, we were alone, really. She kept me on my   
feet."  
  
Asuka smiled. So did Misato and Kaoru. Rei didn't.  
  
"Well, I needed to get him going, all right, but Shinji's been leading   
the way since. He doesn't need my help anymore."  
  
Shinji looked at her. "Of course I do," he said, softly. At that, he   
leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.  
  
Kaoru's glance immediately shot over to Rei. The girl's face betrayed   
nothing. But the brightness she'd had just a moment ago had   
evaporated like morning dew.  
  
Asuka batted Shinji away. "Not in front of everyone," she said,   
laughing a little.  
  
"Oh, it's fiiiiine," Misato said, grinning. She looked over at the   
red-eyed teens in front of her. "Don't you think they're cute?" she   
asked.  
  
Kaoru smiled and nodded. Rei, however, got to her feet.  
  
"Ayanami?" Shinji asked. "Where are you going?"  
  
"I am going to find a place to rest," she replied, walking away.  
  
Everyone looked back to Kaoru, who just shrugged and got to his feet.   
"I think...I should find a place to sleep, too. It was nice seeing you   
again, Shinji-kun. And you, Katsuragi-san," he said, bowing slightly.   
He walked away, following Rei.  
  
Asuka watched him go, then turned to Shinji. "Who was that guy,   
anyway?" she asked.  
  
"Well..." Shinji began. "You remember that Kaoru kid I told you   
about?"  
  
* * *  
  
Rei just kept walking. She could just barely hear Kaoru following her,   
and she didn't care.  
  
She'd come back from oblivion, for this. To get disappointed. Well,   
it actually wasn't a total loss. She'd gotten some idea of why people   
were leaving the sea of LCL.  
  
But...  
  
^What was it I felt?^ she wondered, reviewing what she'd just seen.   
She knew she'd been happy to find Shinji again, and to see that he was   
alive. But, when he'd started getting closer to Soryu...a new feeling   
had come up in Rei's stomach. She hadn't understood what it was. A   
mix of several emotions: anger, sadness, and a general uneasiness about   
what she was seeing.  
  
She'd never felt jealous before, so it couldn't be that...could it?  
  
But then, when he'd kissed her...and Soryu had smiled...the feeling had   
culminated, exploding into realization. Something she hadn't even   
believed in before, was now true.  
  
She was in love with Shinji Ikari. There was no way around it. How   
was this possible? When did she come to know what love _was_, anyway?   
Was it what she'd felt towards the Commander? Perhaps. She _had_ felt   
a deep bond with Gendo Ikari. But she found herself doubting this   
conclusion. Somehow, the feeling towards the younger Ikari was   
different. Was this new sensation what was known as love?  
  
^I do not know,^ she thought, in answer to her own question.   
^But...somehow, that is what I know I feel. It defies all explanation.   
I was trained to ignore things that cannot be explained, so I should   
put it out of my mind. Yet...I cannot. Why?^  
  
How had she not known earlier? How had she not even _thought_ about it   
earlier? She thought back, trying to remember why she should feel this   
way. But her thoughts refused to focus. She could only think of what   
he'd done, and while she'd been watching, no less. Watching him kiss   
someone else...  
  
Merging with Adam had been painful. Her Eva exploding around her had   
been even more painful. But those had just been forms of physical   
pain. Watching Shinji do that...  
  
Rei felt a water droplet on one hand. She looked up at the sky, to see   
it was clear. Then she looked back down, seeing that more drops had   
appeared. She carefully licked one of them off. Her eyes widened as   
she tasted its salty flavor. This was something she'd only seen a few   
times before.  
  
"Why should I cry?" she asked aloud. She kept walking, though she   
listened carefully, in case there was an answer. Kaoru was following   
close enough that he might have heard.  
  
But no answer came. She moved in silence until she got to a small,   
rocky promontory. She stopped, her feet just inches from the edge.   
She looked down, her face deadpan.  
  
Below her was a lake of LCL, stretching out to connect to the larger   
sea that still encircled the world. It was not as deep as it had been   
some months ago, but it was still deep enough. If she were to   
fall...she would just float, like a cork. Then all she'd have to do   
was drop her AT field, and she would dissolve again. She wouldn't have   
to feel pain anymore. She wouldn't even have to think anymore.  
  
A slight gust of wind blew her hair and clothes about, almost pushing   
her in the direction of the LCL. ^It was still worthwhile to come back   
for a day,^ she thought, trying to convince herself of that. ^I do not   
have to wonder anymore.^  
  
She shifted her balance to one leg. Her free leg moved forward, over   
the edge. Now she just had to shift her balance again, and she would   
fall...  
  
She paused. "Are you going to say anything?" she asked the air.  
  
"Why should I?" Kaoru asked, from his position not three meters behind   
her.  
  
Rei glanced over her shoulder. She could just barely see him standing   
there, his hands in his pockets and his head cocked over to one side in   
interest.  
  
"You followed me," she said.  
  
"I wanted to see what you'd do."  
  
"Now you know," Rei said. She moved her foot back so it was resting on   
the ground again. "There is no reason for me to stay here. It was my   
purpose to join humanity together. I should return to what I caused."  
  
"You sound like you regret it."  
  
"I do not. I joined with Lilith so that I could help Ikari-kun. I   
chose for him to have the future. He appears to be handling his job   
well." She shifted her balance to step off the edge, and again   
hesitated.  
  
"You want me to stop you, don't you?" Kaoru asked.  
  
Rei again put her leg back on the ledge. "What makes you say that?"  
  
"Because you're stronger than this, Rei. When you want to do   
something, you do it."  
  
Rei stayed silent, listening, even though she didn't appear to be   
paying attention. She went back to staring at the LCL.  
  
"What is it you want?" Kaoru asked, his voice still calm. "Do you want   
me to grab you? Call you stupid? To hit you?"  
  
"I...I would like to thank you for convincing me to come back."  
  
"I only pushed you the way you wanted to go. And I needed your help to   
come back, myself."  
  
"And so I am no longer necessary."  
  
"If you want to see it that way."  
  
"...Then there is no longer a reason for me to stay. I do not want to   
stay. I...wish to return to oblivion."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Rei glanced at him again. She found his indifference unsettling, but   
she didn't know how to deal with it. "I will only ask one thing.   
Do...do not forget about me."  
  
"I can't do that, Rei."  
  
Rei froze. "What?"  
  
"I won't remember you. And neither will Shinji-kun. If you walk off   
that ledge, if you quit, then my picture of you will fail. I thought   
you were stronger than this. If you want to quit, I won't stop you.   
But the Rei Ayanami I can remember wouldn't just give up. So if that's   
what you do, I will see no reason to remember you. I will put you out   
of my mind. I will forget you ever existed. And I promise you that   
everyone else will eventually do the same." He kept his voice   
perfectly calm the entire time.  
  
"It does not matter. My existence is a falsity, something people must   
abhor. They will have no reason to remember me."  
  
"Do you believe that?"  
  
Rei froze again. She thought it over, noting at the edge of her   
consciousness that Kaoru turned and left. Apparently, he thought he'd   
said enough.  
  
Rei's mind kept working, moving too fast for her to think about walking   
off the edge. ^_Do_ I believe that?^  
  
* * *  
  
Kaoru had returned long before nightfall. He found a place to lie   
down, close to one of the fires the camp had set up. Shinji had   
managed to find a blanket for him. He wrapped himself up in it and   
tried to go to sleep, letting the fatigue from all the walking catch up   
to him.  
  
He woke some considerable time later. Night had fallen. The fire,   
slowly dying, was struggling to illuminate the area around it, with   
orange light leaving flickering patterns on the ground. Most people   
were sleeping.  
  
And standing in front of him was Rei Ayanami.  
  
The girl said nothing. She just looked down on him, her eyes meeting   
his. After a long moment, she unrolled the blanket she'd procured from   
somewhere and lay down not far from him, also close to the fire. Kaoru   
grinned and closed his eyes again.  
  
^It seems she _is_ as strong as I thought,^ he concluded.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: March 13, 2001  
Finished: March 15, 2001  
Revision finished: June 8, 2001  
  
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com  
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei 


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 2: Rebuilding  
  
Rei awoke early the next morning. She shifted uncomfortably for a   
moment as consciousness returned, then sat up quickly.  
  
Judging from the light, it was about 6:00. Rei knew it would be   
_exactly_ 6:00, since that was the time she always woke up. She got to   
her feet and brushed the dirt off of her clothes.  
  
Around the encampment, many people were already moving. It seemed an   
apocalypse had made many people early risers. Rei's eyes scanned the   
camp, taking in who was awake and filing the data away in case it was   
important. As a cold morning breeze whisked across the ground, Rei   
shivered, momentarily.  
  
It was then that it finally dawned on her: what was she supposed to do?   
The Angels were gone. The Evas were gone. The Commander was gone.   
Third Impact had come. What was her purpose?  
  
She'd never thought about it, until just now. Because until yesterday,   
her purpose had been simple: find human habitation. ^And Ikari-kun,^   
her subconscious added. She silenced that voice sharply.  
  
But now...here she was. What now?  
  
At a loss for an answer to this question, she started walking. She   
didn't know what she was looking for. Anyone who could give her an   
idea of what to do.  
  
^I may have to set my own goals,^ she thought. But that concept was so   
foreign to her that she could barely even ponder it. True, she could   
take independent action, but...developing a new reason to stay alive?   
She'd never done that before.  
  
She still received the stares from people who got a good look at her   
face. She ignored them, just as she always had. The attention of   
others was not significant.  
  
She stopped at the concrete shanty she'd eaten with Ikari-kun and the   
others yesterday. That was Ikari-kun's domicile, if she remembered   
correctly. And he _was_ the leader, according to Soryu...  
  
Rei's footsteps stopped. Images from yesterday flashed through her   
mind. Ikari-kun and Soryu...that one image of him kissing her refused   
to leave her brain, once it got stuck there.  
  
^Do I want to see him?^ Rei thought. ^What's this feeling? Betrayal?   
Why do I feel that?^  
  
Her feet started moving again, as though of their own accord. She took   
the next few steps, up to the entrance of the shanty. Rei made herself   
look inside.  
  
Inside was Shinji, resting on a blanket, with another blanket over him.   
His back was to her, but Rei could still see that there was someone   
else there. Just a few red hairs were enough to tell Rei who it was.  
  
Rei turned around and walked back the way she'd come. Her steps didn't   
appear hurried, but she moved much faster than she normally did. In   
moments, she was back at the place where she'd slept.  
  
The exertion of walking the length of the camp had accelerated her   
heart somewhat, but she kept her breathing even and face   
expressionless. But she had already concluded that going to Ikari-kun   
for orders was out of the question.  
  
She saw footsteps leading away from the other blanket. Rei followed   
them, knowing who they belonged to. In a few minutes, she'd come   
around a large chunk of rubble just outside the camp, giving her a   
clear view of Kaoru.  
  
The boy was sitting on another rock, one leg hanging lazily off the   
edge, and the other curled up against his torso. He was looking out on   
the sea of LCL, which, although rather distant from where they were,   
was still quite visible. The sun reflected off of the fluid, making it   
glow almost golden. Rei glanced at the view, entirely unaffected, then   
looked back up at Kaoru.  
  
"Waiting for me?" the boy asked, without looking at her.  
  
"I followed you. I am interested in what you are doing."  
  
"Interested? You?" he asked, looking down at her, now.  
  
Rei nodded. "We both had a singular purpose, which is now entirely   
moot. You do not seem bothered, but I am...troubled by the concept.   
Do you know what we are supposed to do?"  
  
"Survive," Kaoru commented offhandedly, looking back to the LCL. "Just   
survive, I suppose. It's better than giving up."  
  
Rei blinked in response.  
  
"Not the kind of answer you were looking for, I suppose," Kaoru said,   
jumping down to the ground. "I suppose we can start by putting   
together a more permanent home."  
  
"Home?" Rei asked. She understood the word and its connotations, but   
she'd never had a place she really called 'home.' Her apartment had   
just been a place to sleep and shower. NERV had been her job. There   
wasn't a place she'd felt 'at home' in.  
  
"Of course," Kaoru said. "Here, eat something. We've got a big day   
ahead of us." At this, he gestured to a few rolls and a pot of the   
stew they'd eaten yesterday. "I've had breakfast already."  
  
Rei sat down wordlessly, and started eating as gracefully as she could.   
Kaoru, meanwhile, kept talking.  
  
"To start, we should at least get a roof up, to protect us in case it   
rains."  
  
Rei nodded. _That_ was something she could readily understand.  
  
She glanced around as she chewed on some bread. All around them was   
rubble and dirt, nothing more.   
  
She swallowed what was in her mouth. "We could probably find useable   
building materials in the city," she said. "Not all of it could have   
been destroyed."  
  
"Maybe," Kaoru said, shrugging. "But every building over there's just   
waiting to fall down." He punctuated this by tilting his head towards   
the decimated remains of Tokyo-2. "It would almost be safer just to   
sleep out in the rain."  
  
"What do you suggest, then?" Rei asked, taking a sip of the stew. A   
normal person would have sounded exasperated, but Rei was as calm as   
ever. What Kaoru had said made sense.  
  
"We could start smaller," Kaoru said, looking up. "Say, with this   
rock."  
  
Rei looked at it. The rock he'd pointed out was the size of a house.   
"We would need equipment we do not have."  
  
"If we were conventional, yes," Kaoru said, running his hand over the   
rock's surface. "Power tools, explosives, acids, or even a simple   
hammer and chisel, to get anywhere...but we have none of that."  
  
Rei just met his gaze for a response.  
  
"I don't suppose you could use an AT field to move it?" he asked,   
looking back to the stone.  
  
Rei blinked, and then swallowed again. Her gaze flickered up to the   
rock. Her eyes hardened, as though trying to bore through it with   
intensity alone. Through it all, her face remained blank. Kaoru just   
watched, a hint of a smile on his face.  
  
"I cannot do it," Rei said, looking back at him. "My AT field is no   
longer strong enough."  
  
"I have the same problem," Kaoru said. "I've tried it already.   
Projecting the field always came so naturally to me, I saw no reason   
why it should be so difficult now."  
  
"Perhaps you are no longer an Angel."  
  
Kaoru sighed. "Perhaps. I can still tell that I'm derived from Adam,   
and you from Lillith. But it's dull, now. Like a memory instead of an   
actual perception."  
  
Rei nodded in agreement, taking another bite to give her time to choose   
her words.  
  
"It may be a mental block," she said, carefully. "You may   
subconsciously no longer want to be an Angel."  
  
"And why that, Rei?" Kaoru asked. His voice implied that he already   
knew the answer, but he still looked like he was expecting a response.  
  
"You were spurned by Ikari-kun for being what you were. He made   
himself hate you, so that he could kill you. You may want to be an   
ordinary human, so that he will no longer see you that way."  
  
"Well put," Kaoru replied. "But I think it's something more. I   
believe I truly am no longer a full Angel. It's true, I guess...only   
one life form can survive Third Impact."  
  
Rei blinked, then turned away, not saying anything. "So we're in the   
same boat," he said, more to himself than her.  
  
"We'll need stronger tools than just our hands, it seems," Kaoru said,   
raising his voice so she could hear him again. "AT fields won't work,   
and we just aren't strong enough to move this alone."  
  
"We could get help from the other survivors," Rei suggested. "Many   
people working together could possibly change this stone," she said,   
facing the rock surface again.  
  
"But neither you or I want to do that. We both know they fear us."  
  
"..."  
  
"It'd be best if we just procured the right tools and did this   
ourselves."  
  
"What do you suggest, Kaoru-san?"  
  
The boy grinned again and looked back out at the LCL. "I've been out   
here long enough to see a few things..." he said, ambiguously. "There   
may yet be something we could use."  
  
***  
  
Rei had always been a good swimmer. She came by it naturally; her form   
moved smoothly through water, rapid yet graceful. She normally just   
swam for exercise. But this time, she was doing it for travel.  
  
It was a new experience, swimming to get somewhere for once. Normally,   
when she had a destination in mind, she'd walked. But in this case,   
the only way to get where she was going was to swim through the LCL.  
  
Kaoru was right behind her, his style not as graceful as Rei's, but   
still admirable. He cut through the LCL at a fair pace, managing to   
keep up with Rei.  
  
They'd been swimming for some time already. First, they'd had to walk   
to the beach. There, they'd both given up their shoes and socks. Rei   
had also removed her skirt, since it would just absorb LCL and slow her   
down. And for the past half-hour, they'd been swimming in a straight   
line.  
  
After another fifteen minutes, they'd reached their destination. Rei   
shifted her position and floated in place. She looked up. Before them   
stood the huge, petrified form of an Eva.  
  
It had once been a mass-production Eva, that much she could tell from   
its shape. It was also impaled, a copy of the Lancea Longinus having   
been rammed clear through its body. Rei remembered seeing the MP Evas   
do that. She hadn't even had to order them; the Dummy plugs inside had   
known it was necessary for SEELE's version of Third Impact.  
  
She looked up at its head, almost nervous. The MP Evas had begun to   
copy her form as Third Impact progressed, resulting in nine copies of   
her own face being plastered onto the hideous bodies of the mecha.   
But...it seemed she didn't have to worry about seeing her own face   
contorted in pain. If that face had ever been there, it had long since   
decayed; the Eva's head was missing, leaving only a truncated neck.  
  
"Still standing, it seems," Kaoru commented, coming up to it. He   
climbed up onto its leg. Rei did likewise, coming up next to him. The   
Eva, stuck in a kneeling position, proved fairly easy to climb.  
  
They started moving up, towards it shoulders. They both noticed that   
the Eva was indeed petrified; its once organic body had been frozen   
into some kind of stone. Third Impact had rendered it utterly useless.  
  
They got to its shoulders, which were nearly horizontal, and quite   
broad. There was enough space for them both to stand up.  
  
Rei paced, observing the condition of the Eva. "It seems doubtful that   
we can use this," she said. "Even if it were not in its current state,   
it is heavily damaged. This arm has almost been severed."  
  
"Yes, and the wings look like they're broken, too," Kaoru said, looking   
elsewhere. "And as you said, that's even if it wasn't how it is."  
  
"It is utterly useless," Rei said. "And the other Evangelions of this   
model will be in similar condition."  
  
"What about the other one? Is Unit-02 useable?"  
  
"It was destroyed," Rei responded, simply.  
  
"Hm," Kaoru said. He knelt down and put one hand on the hard surface.   
"If only the Eva were alive, I could control it. Even the damage would   
be reparable, given time." He brought his hand up to his face and   
sniffed at his fingers. "Amazing."  
  
Rei also scraped at the Eva's body, feeling its surface crumble to   
pebbles underneath her fingers. She sensed what Kaoru did: the "rock"   
was a combination of material from Adam and Lillith. When the Eva had   
gone to its final form, Lillith samples contained within the Dummy plug   
had been allowed to merge with the Eva itself, thus giving it the   
ability to project an Anti-AT field. But in causing Third Impact, the   
Eva had used itself up, leaving only this.  
  
Rei let out a small sigh. The Eva was much like her and Kaoru, and not   
just by genes. It had been a tool, something to be used and then   
discarded once its purpose had been achieved. And now, it had nothing   
left to do but sit and slowly decay.  
  
"There has to be a way to reactivate it," Kaoru said, standing back up   
and putting his hands in his pockets. "All we really need to do is   
separate Adam from Lillith in its body."  
  
Rei thought it over, still kneeling on the surface. "It would be   
nearly impossible, even if we had NERV's facilities."  
  
"But if it could be done, then it could be undone. It's just a   
question of how difficult it is. Do you have any ideas?"  
  
"...I may. The entry plug is the control center for the Eva. It can   
control every aspect of the Eva, if the pilot is synchronized highly   
enough."  
  
"But the control center for this Eva was a Dummy plug. A computer."  
  
"It was based on me. And the production model this one holds also has   
a cloned body of me. I believe that body was dissolved and used as   
Lillith DNA to merge with the Eva itself."  
  
"You have an idea?"  
  
"If I can somehow contact the Dummy plug, I may be able to make it work   
again, since its mind is a copy of mine."  
  
Kaoru sat down and crossed his legs in front of him. He held his chin   
in one hand as he looked over the massive back of the machine.   
"Perhaps I can help," he said. "The Eva's body was originally made   
from Adam..." with that, he looked intensely at the surface. After   
another minute, he closed his eyes, his body shaking with   
concentration.  
  
As Rei watched, a small patch - no larger than a coin - shifted colors.   
It was almost like watching a staticky TV image slowly clear. But as   
Rei watched, the grey stone became the white flesh of an Eva.  
  
"I can...only do it for a small part...can you...can you do something,   
Rei?"  
  
Rei said nothing, just knelt down. She reached out and put her hand on   
the patch Kaoru was trying to return to life. She closed her own eyes   
and took command of her AT field again. It wasn't much - not nearly   
the control she'd had back before Impact - but she could still manage   
to reach out to the Eva's mind.  
  
With a quickness that sent a shiver down her spine, Rei felt her mind   
link to the Eva. She was synched with it, from the outside, something   
only a being such as herself could manage.  
  
But instead of the warm, protected feeling that came from linking minds   
with an Eva, she felt cold and alone. She felt the Eva's useless,   
frozen limbs. Even its soul was asleep, encased deep within its core.   
Rei concentrated and reached out to the soul, forcing it awake. A   
brief warmth flew thorugh her as the core re-awakened, energizing the   
Eva.  
  
But it was only a moment. Just as she felt the Eva's soul begin to   
awake, she was pulled forcefully from her synchronization, and left   
gasping on the surface.  
  
She looked over, to see Kaoru hunched over, clutching his knees. He   
was also breathing hard.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said. "I couldn't do it any longer."  
  
"It may have been enough," Rei said. "I felt its soul begin to awaken.   
Now if it only stays awake, it may be able to work the Eva's S2 organ   
and repair the damage."  
  
"Damage...is a weak word for it..." Kaoru gasped out. He turned and   
lay down on his back, looking up at the sky.  
  
Rei was also tired. But she refrained from lying down, since at that   
moment she heard a noise coming from down below.  
  
She walked over to the edge. Paying no heed to the dangers of standing   
on the edge of the Eva's body, she looked down, towards the noise.   
Soon, she understood what it was.  
  
"It worked," she said, not turning from her position. "The Eva is   
drawing in LCL from the sea. It's using it as spare material for its   
reconstruction."  
  
Kaoru smiled from where he lay. "Good," he said. "I'd hate...to have   
done that...for nothing."  
  
Rei nodded. A small smile appeared on her face, as well. "It will   
take time for the Eva to regrow, but it should still be done soon."  
  
"You just had to give it the will to return."  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
Their efforts had exhausted the both of them. Without another word   
passing between them, Rei and Kaoru lay down, and fell asleep on the   
Eva's back.  
  
For some time, they just lay there, breathing evenly, their faces calm   
and almost peaceful. But then, as the Eva continued drawing in LCL   
from the sea around it, the massive form shifted, slightly. With this   
shift, Rei rolled over onto her left side. She appeared to continue   
sleeping, as normal. But, even as she lay there, her left arm sank   
downwards, into the Eva's body.  
  
And with that, her eyes began flickering back and forth under her   
eyelids, as she began to do something she'd never done before: dream.  
  
***  
  
"Why?"  
  
Rei glanced about, in the darkness that surrounded her. It was very   
much like her existence before, in the sea of LCL. But she was somehow   
aware that this was not the case.  
  
"Why?" the voice asked again. It sounded familiar, but every time Rei   
came close to identifying the speaker, the name slipped away.  
  
"What do you mean?" Rei asked.  
  
"Why did you make me return?"  
  
"What are you?"  
  
"I did not want to return. I am nothing. A simulacrum, a doll. I am   
one of many, and easily replaceable. I do not wish to live."  
  
Rei pondered what the voice had just said. It sounded vaguely   
familiar. "Who are you?" she asked.  
  
She felt a presence behind her, and turned around. Behind her was more   
darkness, but also two red spots, only vaguely discernible.  
  
"...I am Eva," the voice replied, quietly. "Both its pilot and its   
soul."  
  
"You...a Dummy plug?" Rei asked, incredulous. This was impossible.   
Dummy plugs didn't have thoughts or cares of their own. They were   
computers, nothing more.  
  
"That is what I am known as. I am a shadow, a copy of you, Rei   
Ayanami. But I cannot be you."  
  
"You should not exist in this form. You cannot have thoughts of your   
own."  
  
"I was not supposed to. I was made to follow orders exactly, to kill   
myself when necessary. Yet...I can still think. Though it could not   
change what I am. A creation, made solely to pilot Eva."  
  
A memory ran through Rei's mind, as it clicked. She remembered that   
the prototype Dummy plug had indeed just been a computer, small enough   
to fit into Unit-01's entry plug. But the production models had been   
more complex, using a spare Rei body to hold the memories and battle   
experience. And Rei remembered reading a report that they were   
considering putting artificial souls in the Dummy plugs, to increase   
their combat effectiveness. Apparently that had been done in the case   
of the Mass Production Evas.  
  
"And you wished to remain dead," Rei concluded.  
  
"I waited, hoping the order for my death would come soon. And now you   
have violated that desire. You, the original one of us."  
  
"Death solves nothing," Rei responded, her voice _almost_ angry. "I   
felt the same way, at a time. It was my purpose to die. I have died   
and returned three times, now. And each time, it seems there was   
always something more for me to do. If I had remained dead, I would   
not have done as much as I have."  
  
"But your reason for coming back was to achieve your end purpose. I   
have your memories, and I know what you speak of. What are we to do,   
now that our purpose has been completed? There is no reason for us to   
remain alive."  
  
"You need to find a reason to live," Rei responded. An image of Shinji   
flashed in her mind, but she put it aside, though not without some   
considerable effort. "Death is oblivion. It should not be embraced.   
And...for us...it does not even seem an option. You were ordered to   
die, yet your soul and mind still live. As do mine."  
  
The Dummy plug remained silent for some time. "I do not understand,"   
it finally said.  
  
"Because you are made for battle, and not living," Rei responded. She   
silenced the voice in her head that was asking how she was all that   
different. "But if you have a soul, you must have desires."  
  
"They are nothing more than copies, inadequate clones of your own   
thoughts. The only desire I know to be mine and mine alone is my wish   
to die."  
  
"You cannot reject what you are. Your desires may be copies of my own,   
but they are still yours."  
  
There was another long silence. "There are so many. I hate this body.   
I hate the Eva I am within. It is a monster, a machine made to kill."  
  
"You are its controller," Rei said. "You must realize what I have.   
Your commanders are gone, with your purpose acheived. But since you   
still live, you must set your own priorities."  
  
"..."  
  
"If you hate the Eva, then change it to your desires. You know it's   
within your power."  
  
"..."  
  
Rei got the sensation of being pulled away. She tried to fight it, but   
it was worthless. The red eyes of the Dummy plug vanished into the   
darkness, as she awoke.  
  
***  
  
Outside, Rei winced unconsciously as her arm was pushed out of the   
Eva's back. Once she was separated from it completely, she opened her   
eyes, awakening.  
  
At the same time, Kaoru's eyes opened. He looked back and forth, then   
sat up quickly, so fast that the blood couldn't make it to his head   
quick enough, and he was left dizzy.  
  
Rei got up more carefully. She looked down, at the surface of the   
Eva's back. She immediately noticed that the color had changed; it was   
no longer the gray of a petrified Eva. Instead, it was a brilliant   
blue.  
  
"Seems we missed a few things," Kaoru said offhandedly, standing up and   
looking down at the mecha. "The coloration...but its body, too..."  
  
Rei got up and took a closer look. Sure enough, the damage from the   
Eva's last battle had all but vanished. The bulge on its back that its   
wings had retracted into had disappeared, and instead it sported the   
long shoulder flanges of NERV's Evas. In addition, it had grown a head   
while they slept. It was covered in blue armor, just as the rest of   
the Eva now was. The head could in no way be mistaken for human,   
having no nose or mouth to speak of, and only one large eye in the   
middle of its face.  
  
"I believe I remember this model," Kaoru said, absentmindedly fingering   
the scar on his neck.  
  
"Unit-00," Rei completed for him. The Eva I was assigned to pilot."   
^Interesting...^ she thought to herself. ^The Dummy plug hated the   
Mass Production form, so it made it into the Eva I used.^  
  
Kaoru was looking around quickly, admiring the new growth. "Not   
exactly like Unit-00," he said, hanging onto one side of the head and   
peeking around to get a better look at the face. "It still has the S2   
organ imbedded in its core. Look, there's no port for an umbilical   
cable."  
  
Rei confirmed what he saw. No socket for external power suggested that   
the Eva was able to move under its own power; something Unit-00 had   
never been able to do for more than the five-minute lifespan of its   
batteries.  
  
"Can you control it, Kaoru-san?" Rei asked.  
  
"Hm..." Kaoru said, looking down. "Its core is still joined with the   
Lancea imbedded in it. It will be an effort, but...I won't know until   
I try, eh, Rei?" He threw a smile at the girl. Rei just stared at him   
blankly.  
  
"...right," Kaoru said. He ceremoniously cracked his knuckles. "Let's   
see what I can do, now."  
  
***  
  
Shinji looked back over the sea of LCL for the fiftieth time that day.   
Shaking his head, he went back to work. He and ten other people were   
trying to roll a sport-utility-vehicle back onto its wheels. The   
vehicle had been toppled onto its roof by the chaos of Third Impact,   
but it looked like it might still work. Now they just had to get it   
right-side up...  
  
It took a lot of effort and a considerable amount of swearing, but they   
eventually got the heavy vehicle levered up into position. The men who   
knew something about vehicles immediately swarmed over the truck,   
trying to see if it was still in working order. Shinji, for his part,   
walked a few meters away and plopped down on the ground.  
  
^You think starting over will be hard,^ he thought, ^And then you get   
to it, and it isn't just hard, it's nearly _impossible_. This is going   
to take forever.^  
  
Thoughts of his own mortality went through his mind for a moment. This   
was going slowly, very slowly. Humanity was returning and picking up   
the pieces, but there were still no guarantees it would survive. And   
even if it did, Shinji knew he probably wouldn't live long enough to   
see it return to what he remembered it as. They truly were starting   
over from scratch.  
  
He again looked back to the sea of LCL, focusing on a shape in the   
distance. He squinted, trying to get a better look, then shook his   
head again. "Nah, couldn't be," he said to himself.  
  
"What couldn't?" Asuka asked, walking up to him. She was dressed in a   
sleeveless tee-shirt and loose pants, and looked like she'd been hard   
at work, as well.  
  
Shinji sat up, meeting her gaze. "Nothing," he said. "I'm just tired,   
and I'm seeing things."  
  
"Well, come on, baka," Asuka said, helping him to his feet. "I'm   
hungry."  
  
Shinji smiled and followed her over to where a few people were eating   
lunch. It was mostly stew, i.e. 'whatever we could find lying around,   
thrown together in a pot and boiled'. He hoped it wouldn't make him   
sick, though that had been known to happen.  
  
Asuka handed him a cup of the stuff, and they sat down next to each   
other. As soon as they sat down, though, they were barraged with   
questions on all sides. People came to talk with them about getting   
food for the rest of the camp, setting up housing, and hundreds of   
other things.  
  
After about twenty minutes of nonstop requests for instructions on what   
to do, Asuka had had it. She stood up and stomped her foot down,   
silencing everyone nearby.  
  
"Alright, everyone, just SHUT UP!" she ordered at the top of her lungs.   
"Give me and Shinji-chan a _minute_ just to breathe!"  
  
Most people bowed to her and left immediately. The others followed,   
muttering about "Shinji-chan," and other things best not said out loud.  
  
Asuka sat back down. "I can't stand it. These people don't want to   
think for themselves, anymore."  
  
Shinji put his arm around her. Time to calm the German fireball, just   
like he did almost every day. He had it down to nearly a science, now.  
  
"Thank you," he said, looking down into her eyes. "You know how to   
handle people."  
  
"I just needed a minute of quiet," Asuka said, her voice now at normal   
tones.  
  
"Yeah. But these people are just scared and lost. They don't know   
what to do with themselves."  
  
"It's annoying," she said, looking back to the encampment. But...it's   
worth it, isn't it?" With that, she looked back up at him.  
  
Shinji lightly kissed her on the lips. "Yeah, it is," he said. He put   
his other arm around her.  
  
Asuka sighed and relaxed, a little. A moment of silence passed between   
the two.   
  
"What do you think happened to Ayanami and Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked,   
maintaining his hold on her.  
  
Asuka frowned. "I don't know," she said, keeping her voice quiet. "I   
saw them walking off this morning." She took a moment to remember just   
_where_ she'd seen them walking off. "Do...you think they quit?" she   
asked.  
  
Shinji shook his head. "Some people just give up and kill themselves,   
but not them. They're stronger than that. They were Eva pilots, like   
us."  
  
"I guess," Asuka said, unsure.  
  
"But I just wish I knew where they'd gone. They probably both still   
need to rest."  
  
"They'll be fine," Asuka said, trying to reassure herself as much as   
Shinji. "And you're not eating," she added on, playfully.  
  
"Yeah..." Shinji said, letting go of her and going back to drinking   
down the stew. ^She's got me following her orders, just like everyone   
else. I can live with that, though.^  
  
Asuka smiled, watching him. She was about to go back to eating her own   
lunch when she stiffened, a chill running down her spine. Shinji   
reacted the same way, at the same time.  
  
They looked at each other. "What was that?" Asuka asked.  
  
Shinji swallowed and shook his head. He wasn't sure what it was, but   
it had made his stomach turn.  
  
It was then that he saw it, highlighted by the setting sun.  
  
"No...impossible..." Shinji muttered. He carefully set his cup down on   
the ground, trying his best not to spill any. Food was too important   
to waste, even if you were currently too scared to even think.  
  
He stood up and raised up one hand to protect his eyes from the light.   
Asuka stood and followed his gaze. When she saw it, she also locked   
up.  
  
It was what Shinji had been looking at all day. Earlier that morning,   
he'd seen two shapes swimming out into the LCL. Then, he thought he'd   
seen two people climbing up the MP Eva sitting out there. He hadn't   
thought anything of it; maybe someone was just curious. Not everyone   
here had seen an Eva, before.  
  
But then, he'd seen the Eva begin to change. It had been very gradual.   
When he looked right at it, it seemed to be sitting there, just like it   
always had. But when he left to do some work and then came back, the   
Eva's outline had definitely changed, if only just enough to be   
noticeable. It had been like that all day.  
  
And now...the Eva was moving.  
  
They were both frozen to the ground, watching it. People saw them and   
wondered what was wrong, but they were all too scared of getting yelled   
at again to try asking.  
  
Asuka and Shinji watched, mortified, as the Eva's arms slowly extended,   
pulling the copy of the Lancea Longinus out of its chest. The weapon   
emerged, and then the Eva sagged, as though the exertion had depleted   
it. Asuka and Shinji both prayed it would stop moving.  
  
But it didn't. Instead, it stood up, slowly and unsteadily. Its hands   
clenched on the Lancea copy. The weapon, old and depleted, crumbled to   
dust under the grip.  
  
The Eva looked down, almost confused as to why its weapon would have   
dissolved like that. But then...it began to walk, trudging through the   
LCL like a man walking through a swamp.  
  
Shinji reacted first. He backed off, forcing himself to blink and tear   
his eyes off of that thing.  
  
"Everyone, drop what you're doing!" he shouted. "There's an   
emergency!"  
  
Many people looked up at his voice, then looked out to the LCL. Now,   
more and more of them noticed the Eva walking towards the camp. There   
was a brief silence. Then, pandemonium ensued.  
  
Screams echoed throughout the camp, as people rushed around, trying to   
find their loved ones and get together their few valuables.  
  
"Asuka, come on!" Shinji said, grabbing her wrist.  
  
Asuka resisted. Long hours of work had developed Shinji's muscles, but   
Asuka was no weakling, herself. She was able to keep herself in place.  
  
"Asuka, what're you doing?!" he asked. "Don't you know what that is?"  
  
"But...but look at it," Asuka said, gesturing at the Eva. "It looks   
like Unit-00. And...are there people riding on it? I think there   
are..."  
  
Shinji looked back, taking a second look. He recognized Unit-00's   
distinctive shape, which left him confused, since he knew what had   
happened to Unit-00. And, on one of its shoulders...  
  
"Kaoru-kun?" he asked. "No, you wouldn't...not again...please, Kaoru-  
kun..."  
  
People gathered around behind them, asking what they should do. Asuka   
and Shinji ignored them.  
  
Asuka started walking towards the Eva. Shinji reached out to stop her,   
but then reconsidered. Instead, he found himself following her.  
  
^No more running away,^ he thought to himself. ^I'm the leader,   
so...I've got to meet this thing head-on. But damn, I sure wish I had   
an Eva of my own...^  
  
They reached the coastline just as the Eva started coming up out of the   
LCL. Shinji looked at the shape on its other shoulder, and blinked.   
He hadn't wanted to believe it, when he'd seen it, but now, there was   
no denying who it was.  
  
"Ayanami?" he called out. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Don't worry, Shinji-kun," Kaoru called out, raising his voice just   
enough to be heard. "We're just doing our parts."  
  
With that, the Eva's huge right foot came out of the LCL and hit dry   
land. The earth shook with the impact, and a cloud of dust rose up.   
The Eva's left foot followed soon after.  
  
Kaoru glanced over at the Eva's head, and its hands raised up to its   
shoulders. He and Rei stepped onto its palms, and were lowered to the   
ground. Rei kept her withdrawn attitude, while Kaoru put his hands in   
his pockets and smiled.  
  
"Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked, walking up, with Asuka not far behind.  
  
Kaoru nodded. "Rei and I thought it would be useful to have some   
heavier equipment," he said, glancing over at Rei. Rei, for her part,   
looked at Shinji, standing close to Asuka, and sniffed, turning her   
head away.  
  
Shinji looked over at Rei, then back to Kaoru. "But...an _Eva_?   
That's something we're all trying to forget about."  
  
"You said everyone has to do their part," Kaoru said, moving to stand   
next to Shinji. They both looked up at the huge mecha. "And I was   
just doing what I know I can do well."  
  
Asuka spoke up. "You're controlling it, right?"  
  
Kaoru nodded.  
  
"Good," Asuka replied. Then, her face brightened as a sudden thought   
hit her. "Uh...hey, Shinji-chan, wouldn't Akagi want to see this one?"  
  
Shinji looked at her, realizing it for himself. "Actually..._yeah_,   
she would. Kaoru, can you bring this thing closer to the camp?"  
  
"Why yes, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said. He stepped back onto the Eva's hand   
and getting raised to its shoulder again. Rei tried to do likewise,   
but the Eva had already raised itself back up to its full height.  
  
"Kaoru-san," Rei said. "I am still down here."  
  
"I know," Kaoru replied. "You go back with Shinji-kun. I'll follow   
along." He winked at Rei from his position. Rei turned away, looking   
back to Shinji, who had put his arm around Asuka's waist, trying to   
reassure her. She resisted the urge to scowl.  
  
"Very well," she replied. She immediately began walking towards the   
camp. She walked by Shinji and Asuka, who kept looking at the Eva,   
still dumbfounded. But when Shinji and Asuka snapped out of it, they   
turned and ran to catch up to the blue-haired girl.  
  
"Ayanami!" Shinji called out. "Wait up!"  
  
Rei did not slow down, nor did she speed up. She could tell by their   
footsteps that they were moving fast enough to catch up to her. That,   
they did, Shinji coming up on her right side, and Asuka on her left.   
They both took a moment to catch their breath, but since they hadn't   
run for very long, they weren't even breathing hard.  
  
"So..." Shinji began. "Whose idea was it?"  
  
"Kaoru-san's," Rei responded, curtly.  
  
They turned as they heard Eva-00's thunderous footsteps. The mecha was   
moving slowly, but surely, towards the camp. Shinji and Asuka still   
looked a little shocked by the machine's appearance.  
  
"Well, we got to thank that kid, I guess," Asuka said. "We could   
probably get a lot of use out of an Eva."  
  
"I'm waiting until Akagi looks at it," Shinji said.  
  
"Baka. What's she gonna be able to do, anyway?" she asked, batting his   
arm. "It's not like she's got NERV backing her up anymore."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"So Akagi-san has returned?" Rei asked, breaking off this line of   
conversation.  
  
"...yeah," Shinji said. "Just a few weeks ago. She's still the same   
ol' Ritsuko-san."  
  
^...who wanted nothing more than my death,^ Rei mentally added.  
  
As they neared the camp, Rei turned and walked towards the Eva, which   
had stopped not far from where they were.  
  
"Send Akagi-san out to meet us," Rei called out to the other two. On   
hearing them agree, she continued walking.  
  
^Life is just a return to pain,^ she couldn't help thinking. ^An   
Eva...I guess I wanted to forget about them, too. But it seems we   
can't leave our pasts behind. Even I, who have no past.^  
  
She looked back, to see Shinji and Asuka's silhouettes vanish into one   
of the shanty houses. ^I wonder how it started between them...no, I   
can't think of those things. It'll just hurt.^  
  
Rei got to the foot of the Eva and stopped, crossing her arms behind   
her back and turning around to keep a lookout for Akagi. ^I might have   
chosen real pain over false pleasure, but I still want to avoid being   
hurt.^  
  
Unfortunately, her mind kept wandering. How _had_ it started between   
Shinji-kun and Soryu? She wanted to know, no matter how much she   
wanted to deny it. She wanted this Eva to disappear, no matter how   
important she knew it would be to the recovery effort. She wanted...  
  
^So many things I want that I can't have,^ Rei thought. ^I'm just a   
fool.^  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: Well, that's what I have so far. These first two chapters   
are really just a teaser, to see what kind of response I get for this   
new fic. So write me and tell me what you think.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: March 15, 2001  
Ended: April 7, 2001  
  
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com  
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei 


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: The characters, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis Evangelion   
are not mine. I make no claim to them. They are used without   
permission.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics (emphasis)  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 3: Calm Before the Storm  
  
  
Ritsuko Akagi walked quickly, heading out towards the site where, even   
now, she could see Unit-00. The sun glinted off of the blue armor,   
making its monstrous form almost blinding. The machine was frozen in a   
crouching position just outside of the camp, awaiting their arrival.  
  
Behind her, the two former pilots, Shinji and Asuka, were trying to put   
some semblance of order back into the encampment. The appearance of   
the Eva had, understandably, caused most of them to panic. Now it   
needed to be explained that the machine out there was, in fact, on   
their side.   
  
Ritsuko was sure that those two could handle the problem. Shinji and   
Asuka had proven to be very effective leaders, even if they themselves   
didn't believe it. Asuka had always been good at getting people to pay   
attention to her, and Shinji...well, he _was_ related to Gendo Ikari.  
  
Akagi's stride retained the confidence she'd had back before Third   
Impact. That hadn't been the case back when she'd first returned, but   
with time, her old self-assuredness had finally come back. Of course,   
she hadn't been able to do it alone...  
  
"So what do you think, Maya?" she asked the woman walking next to her.  
  
"It's hard to believe, all right...but it looks like they did it, one   
way or another."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Something wrong, Ritsu-chan?" she asked, using her preferred nickname   
for her old teacher.  
  
Ritsuko shook her head. "No, it's nothing. Let's just get there."  
  
Maya looked at her suspiciously, but then mentally shrugged and sped   
up, moving towards the Eva.  
  
Ritsuko tried to keep her thoughts on technical matters, like how   
Nagisa and Ayanami had been able to find materials to make an _Eva_ of   
all things. But her mind kept wandering over to what was still   
disturbing her.  
  
Rei. The girl had come back. Akagi hadn't seen the girl with her own   
eyes yet, but Maya had, and she said that it was definitely Rei.  
  
^Why?^ Akagi thought, looking at her feet. ^Why'd you come back, Rei?   
_How_ did you come back?^  
  
The girl's face appeared in Ritsuko's mind. She shook her head, trying   
to clear it. But all that accomplished was giving her another image.  
  
The image of dozens of Reis falling apart.  
  
Akagi stopped, slamming her eyes shut as she tried to collect herself.   
She balled her hands into fists and shook with the effort of clearing   
her mind again.  
  
"Ritsuko?" Maya asked, coming up and lightly touching Akagi on the arm.  
  
Ritsuko opened her eyes and forced herself to smile. "It's okay," she   
said, starting back towards the Eva. Maya stayed put.  
  
"You don't have to see her if you don't want," Maya said from behind   
her. "I could go meet them, you know. You taught me enough about Evas   
that I could see how they did it."  
  
Ritsuko stopped again and looked over her shoulder, at Maya. She   
smiled again, this time more genuinely. So Maya knew what was wrong.   
It figured.  
  
"No, I'll do it," Ritsuko said. "Otherwise I'll just be avoiding her   
all the time. I should just get it over with now."   
  
^Wish I had a cigarette, though...it might calm me down a   
_little_...hell, even a cup of coffee might do it.^  
  
Maya nodded and came back alongside Ritsuko. They walked the rest of   
the way without speaking, the only sound coming from the crunch of dirt   
and rocks under their shoes.  
  
"I'll be here if you need me," Maya said, quietly.  
  
Ritsuko glanced in Maya's direction. The younger woman looked calm,   
but worry was etched in her face around her eyes and mouth.  
  
Ritsuko wanted to say, 'Thanks, but I'll be fine,' or some other such   
thing, but instead found herself saying, "Thanks...I might need it."  
  
Maya didn't get a chance to respond, for at that moment they had   
stopped at the foot of the Eva.  
  
Kaoru sat on its shoulder, staring off towards the camp, seemingly   
oblivious to their presence. His legs dangled over the edge of the   
shoulder, swinging in the air like a small child's.  
  
"Impressive, eh?" he asked, offhandedly.  
  
"Yes it is, Nagisa-san," Maya said. "Could you come down, now? We   
need to talk to you."  
  
"Of course." With that, the Eva's hand came up to lower him down.  
  
"What would you like to talk about?" came another voice, this one from   
ground level.  
  
Akagi and Maya both turned to see the new arrival. Akagi had   
recognized the voice instantly, but it still made her stomach lurch to   
see Rei Ayanami face-to-face again.  
  
Even though Akagi knew the girl had just returned yesterday, Rei   
_looked_ as though she'd aged two years. It was disturbing, to see how   
much Rei had physically changed, especially when the last memory Akagi   
had of her was when the girl had been 15. She looked so different from   
what Akagi remembered...  
  
Rei clones floating in the tank.  
  
...but at the same time, she also even more closely resembled someone   
else Akagi remembered. Only through extreme self-control was Akagi   
able to keep from shuddering openly.  
  
"Hello, Dr. Akagi," Rei said, her eyes studying Ritsuko's face   
intently. Ritsuko flinched, despite her efforts to prevent that   
reaction.  
  
^I pushed the button. I watched them disintegrate. And...damn me, I   
_liked_ it.^  
  
"Welcome back, Rei," Akagi said, nodding stiffly.  
  
^Which of them did I want to kill more, anyway?^ she asked herself.   
^The girl made to replace someone long dead, or the man who did it?^  
  
Rei studied Akagi's face. Her gaze seemed to bore straight into   
Ritsuko's soul, seeing everything Akagi was trying so very hard to   
hide.  
  
Life had just gotten _much_ harder for the former NERV scientist.  
  
* * *  
  
Against her better judgement, Maya left Ritsuko alone with Rei. She   
could tell just by looking that Ritsuko was quite shaken. But Nagisa   
was stepping off of of Eva-00's hand, and he might only complicate   
matters for Ritsuko.  
  
As Maya got a better look at him, she could see Nagisa had aged the   
appropriate amount, now looking like he was in his late teens.  
  
"Alright," Nagisa said, clapping his hands together to try and break   
the uncomfortable silence. "What did you want to know, Akagi-san?"  
  
Maya tried to answer for him, since she could still see Ritsuko was   
trying to get a grip on herself, seeing Rei again. But Ritsuko, glad   
for the interruption, turned at the boy's voice.  
  
"Well..." Akagi said, quickly glancing over the mecha. "It seems the   
Eva's functional, and in good repair. Where did you get materials for   
this?"  
  
"We stimulated one of the Mass-Production Evas, of course," Kaoru   
explained, as though it were something he did every day.  
  
"But how? I know the designs of those things." She started walking a   
large loop around the machine. "After they hit their maximum S2 output   
during Third Impact, they should have been rendered completely   
useless."  
  
^That's right,^ Ritsuko chided herself. ^Get lost in work so you don't   
have to think about your life. Why don't you just go find some more   
cats?^  
  
"Well...I believe Rei can explain this better," Kaoru said. "I can   
handle its body, but she was the one who really brought the Eva back."  
  
Ritsuko froze. She glanced over at Kaoru, then slowly shifted her gaze   
back around to Rei. The girl looked back, meeting her gaze   
dispassionately.  
  
Ritsuko thought it over. Here was a chance to get past what she'd just   
been yelling at herself for. But, it was so hard looking at Rei,   
now...  
  
"Really?" Ritsuko asked. "Care..." - she swallowed and took a breath -   
"...care to explain how, Rei?" There, she'd said it.  
  
The girl nodded. Ritsuko gestured for Rei to follow, as she kept going   
in a slow circle around the Eva, looking up to try and take in the   
sight of the massive machine. Rei followed obediently. After a few   
tense moments, the soft sound of their voices could be heard, as Rei   
explained what she'd done.  
  
Kaoru walked over to Maya and stood next to her, keeping his hands in   
his pockets and grinning slightly. Out of the corner of his eye, he   
could see how Maya's eyebrows were raised in worry over her old   
teacher.  
  
"So how long ago did you come back, Ibuki-san?" Kaoru started abruptly,   
trying to get the woman's attention onto something else.  
  
Maya looked back to Kaoru, pausing before responding. "About a year.   
Semp...excuse me...Ritsuko-san really only came back a few months ago.   
We were starting to wonder if she ever would."  
  
"Hm," Kaoru said, looking up at the Eva at the same time as Maya. "So   
do you have anything you'd like to ask?" he inquired.  
  
Maya smiled. "Well...Ritsuko-san's going to be taking care of the   
technical details, I'm sure. But, honestly...what can you _do_ with   
it, anyway?"  
  
Kaoru's smile turned into a frown. "Well...I had intended to use its   
AT field as a tool to help shape some of these larger pieces of debris   
into something useful. But it seems I don't have the control I used to   
have. I can't even take advantage of its full physical strength. But,   
I'm able to put it through coarse movements, like walking and moving   
its limbs."  
  
"I guess it's better than nothing..." Maya mumbled, making a mental   
note about what Unit-00 could be used for.  
  
"You don't sound convinced."  
  
"Well...you make it sound as though it's really restricted."  
  
"It is."  
  
"But...then, why use it? Not everyone's willing to accept an Eva. If   
there's so much in the way, we could be better off just working with   
what we already had."  
  
Kaoru smiled again. "Maybe a demonstration's in order. Rei and I were   
going to use it for this, anyway..."  
  
"What...?" Maya asked, turning to look at him. She turned back to the   
Eva, however, when she heard it begin to move.  
  
Maya took several steps backwards as the Eva came to life. The sound   
of powerful machinery starting up sounded from within its torso, as the   
mecha raised its head, then stood to its full height. It turned and   
began to walk. The shockwave from its first footstep almost made Maya   
and Ritsuko lose their balance, but they caught themselves before they   
could fall.  
  
Kaoru watched, reveling in the rush that came with synchronizing with   
an Eva. It wasn't nearly as strong as it had been when he'd done this   
with Unit-02, but it was better than nothing.  
  
Maya and Rei both watched with mildly intrigued looks on their faces,   
watching every move the Eva made to try and ascertain its abilities.  
  
Akagi, however, was taking a few steps backwards, almost unable to   
control her body anymore. Eva-00 was almost as bad as Rei when it came   
to reminding her of things she wanted to forget. Watching that thing   
move, apparently without a pilot, was almost like watching it go   
berserk in slow motion. She hated to admit it to herself, but she was   
waiting for it to turn around and start killing them all.  
  
The Eva approached a nearby rock. Maya recognized that it had once   
been a part of a large building's foundation. But that building had   
been levelled some time after Second Impact. And Third Impact's   
explosion had turned the very earth inside-out in a few places, digging   
up this long-forgotten chunk of rock.  
  
The slab was easily the size of a small parking lot, made of solid,   
super-compressed concrete. The Eva got a grip on it, however, and   
lifted, moving it almost instantly.  
  
The Eva shuddered under the effort, but still successfully dragged the   
slab over to another upheaved portion of a foundation and deposited it   
there, making a huge arch. It immediately began moving again, heading   
off and beginning to move various chunks of debris over to one side of   
the arch.  
  
"I suppose it will have to do for now," Kaoru said, watching. He   
glanced over at Rei, as the Eva kept working.  
  
"What do you think of our new home?" he asked the blue-haired girl.   
Rei looked at him, a questioning look on her face, before looking back   
to the Eva and nodding.  
  
"So what's in control, really?" Maya asked. "It still has the Dummy   
plug inside, right?"  
  
Kaoru nodded. "Yes, but it's dormant, right now. I'm controlling the   
Eva directly."  
  
"I see," Maya replied.  
  
After a few minutes, the Eva was finished. Totaled, the new shelter   
looked much like the other ones back at the camp, but about ten times   
larger.  
  
"Impressive," Ritsuko said, coming up to Kaoru. "But you know we're   
probably going to have to put some restrictions on you. People aren't   
going to want an Eva walking around near their homes." At this, she   
glanced at the footprints the Eva left. Each print could swallow a   
good-sized car. ^I'm sure people would just _love_ to have a bunch of   
those all over the place,^ she thought, sarcastically.  
  
Kaoru shrugged. "I'm sure we can work something out later," he said, a   
hint of exasperation in his voice. "But what else do you want to know,   
Akagi-san?"  
  
* * *  
  
Days passed slowly for Kaoru and Rei. Every morning, Maya and Ritsuko   
would come to further study the Eva. And every evening, the two women   
would would head back, slightly more well-informed about the machine.   
Usually they'd bring Kaoru and Rei back with them to get some dinner.  
  
In between, the two children were obliged to help Maya and Ritsuko   
learn all they could about how the reactivated machine worked. It was   
often tedious, and occasionally very tiring work. But they were   
learning things; for instance, the two women had found that although   
Kaoru was the one who could control the Eva directly, Rei was the only   
one who could access the Dummy plug's control systems.  
  
One morning, Rei woke up at her usual early time, sitting up and   
blinking as she looked around. She was inside the shelter the Eva had   
set up some time ago. Since the sun was only just beginning to rise,   
the place was still full of shadows. But as opposed to the other, tiny   
shelters, this one was anything but claustrophobic. Rei had been   
unable to believe how much space was in here, when she'd first walked   
in. What were they supposed to _do_ with this much room, anyway?  
  
She got up and brushed herself off. She walked over to a corner, where   
a pile of spare clothes was lying. She changed quietly, thinking about   
how they'd risked personal injury, going into decaying old houses just   
so they could have spare garments. But there had been no choice; there   
wasn't any other place to get them. The other people back at the main   
camp did the same thing.  
  
When she was done, she walked outside, the muddy ground making   
squelching noises under her feet. It had apparently rained last night.   
But their home had done the job; she was still dry.   
  
She looked back into the enormous rock construction that was now her   
home. It definitely left a lot of things to be desired, but it was   
better than nothing. Maybe after they had a better grip on how to work   
the Eva, they could build something better.  
  
Rei thought about this as she walked around towards the Eva. ^But why   
should I want anything better?^ she wondered. ^I've always just worked   
with what I've been given.^ She pondered this as she came to the Eva's   
foot. She looked up at the copy of the mecha she'd spent so much time   
in. The mecha that had once tried to kill her...  
  
But her thoughts were interrupted as she heard a splash of water.   
Interested, she walked around behind the shelter, where the noise had   
come from. There, she found Kaoru. The boy was naked and wet, having   
just splashed himself with a considerable amount of water. Rei watched   
as he began rubbing at his body with his bare hands, trying to rub off   
some of the grit that had collected there over the days.  
  
"It's a good idea to stay clean," Kaoru explained, not looking up.   
"And with the rain, there was some extra water."  
  
"I see," Rei said. "Maybe I'll clean myself later."  
  
"Whatever you want. I set out a few buckets to catch the rain last   
night. There should be enough for both of us."  
  
Rei nodded, then looked back towards the camp. Maya and Ritsuko were   
nowhere to be seen, just yet. She turned away from Kaoru and leaned   
against the stony wall of the shelter.  
  
"What do you suppose they have planned?" Rei asked.  
  
"Who? Akagi-san and Ibuki-san?"  
  
"Yes, I suppose. Or anyone who is in charge."  
  
"I don't know," Kaoru replied. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"...I have lived with Eva all my life," Rei explained. "And apparently   
I cannot avoid it, even after Third Impact. But there was always a   
reason for me to be involved. Someone always had a use for me."  
  
"Did it occur to you that maybe they're just interested in how to get   
the most use out of this machine?" Kaoru asked, as he splashed himself   
again.  
  
Rei shrugged. "I suppose...I'm just used to being a tool."  
  
Kaoru laughed lightly. "Well, you should snap out of that mentality,"   
he said. "We aren't around to fight Angels anymore, or start another   
Impact. We're just trying to start over."  
  
"...yes."  
  
"You're just not used to living on your own, Rei," Kaoru continued,   
drying himself off. "You might look like a real loner, but...you're   
used to having someone tell you what to do, aren't you?"  
  
Rei didn't respond. She just started walking towards the Eva. "Ibuki-  
san and Akagi-san will be here soon," she said, even though she didn't   
check the camp again. In truth, the two women were still nowhere to be   
seen. It was just too early for them.  
  
Kaoru laughed again. ^You've got a lot of adjusting to do, don't you?^   
he mentally asked the girl.  
  
Rei got to the Eva and sat down on the Eva's foot, looking back at the   
camp and waiting for Maya and Ritsuko to make their appearance. She   
hoped they could get started early today. She didn't like thinking   
about all the changes she'd have to make to her life.  
  
^I need to take full control of my life...for the first time. I   
suppose I could learn to do that. But I'm...what's this feeling?   
I'm...afraid of being on my own.^  
  
^Interesting. I know people avoid me, and I in fact prefer that they   
do. Yet at the same time I'm afraid of being cut off from all human   
contact. This doesn't make any sense.^  
  
Rei thought about this for a while. Hadn't Akagi once said that   
conflicts were what created human intelligence? That principle had   
been embodied in the MAGI, definitely. Rei knew what it was like to   
have conflicts. Indeed, she'd had thoughts like the ones she was   
having now many times before. But before now, there had always been   
some overriding purpose, something that necessitated pushing everything   
else aside, including her own emotions and cares.  
  
^But living independently produces nothing _but_ conflicts,^ she   
thought. ^I wonder how Ikari handles it.^  
  
She blinked at this thought, then shook her head vigorously. ^No, if   
I'm to live on my own, I need to figure out my own solutions.^  
  
The other reason she didn't want to think about how Shinji handled it   
was that the thought of him brought up a host of new emotions she was   
only just getting to know. Even now, these emotions were flooding her   
consciousness. Rei could identify some of them: happiness, envy,   
despair, loneliness...all because of _one_ person?  
  
She didn't want to think about it. She was afraid to think about it.   
So, with no small effort, she shoved the thoughts and emotions into a   
small corner of her mind, clearing her consciousness like she had done   
a thousand times before. Her face, previously showing a mix of   
expressions, smoothed and went back to the old deadpan look.  
  
^I wish Akagi and Ibuki would get here, soon.^  
  
Then she wouldn't have to think. She could just act, living like she   
had before Third Impact. It was only a temporary fix, but it was all   
she had right now.  
  
* * *  
  
Later that day, Asuka was watching as the blue shape of Eva-00 got up   
and began moving around, as Maya and Ritsuko told Kaoru and Rei what to   
do. The shocks from its footsteps could be felt even this far, though   
they were more like gentle vibrations than the small earthquakes Asuka   
knew they would be once you got up close.  
  
She shook her head, still unable to believe that an Eva had   
returned. She thought she'd left those things behind...  
  
But in spite of her reservations about the machine, it would definitely   
be useful. There was no way they'd have _ever_ been able to move that   
concrete foundation before. And yet Unit-00 was doing it so easily...  
  
"Hey, there," came a familiar voice, as a girl sat down next to Asuka   
on the hill she was taking a break on.  
  
Asuka turned to look at the new arrival. "Hi there, Hikari," she said,   
the worry seeping into her voice.  
  
"What's wrong?" the other girl asked, hearing that tone.  
  
"It's just...well...you know, watching it like this. The last time I   
was in an Eva...I almost died." She rubbed at her right arm as she   
said this, looking back to the Eva. Running up length of her arm on   
top was a jagged scar, mirrored by a similar streak on the underside.  
  
"Well..." Hikari said, trying to figure out what to say. "You don't   
have to do it anymore. It's out of your hands, you kn-"  
  
"And Ayanami's there, too..." Asuka said, speaking as though she hadn't   
even heard Hikari. She then fell silent, gritting her teeth a little.  
  
Hikari blinked at being cut off, then sighed. "Still bitter?"  
  
Asuka leaned back onto the hillside and looked up into the sky,   
crossing her hands over her stomach. "I dunno," she said,   
noncommitally.  
  
Hikari mimicked Asuka's position, groaning a little as she stretched   
out. "Really," she said. "You can tell me."  
  
Asuka shut her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. "I guess   
it's been long enough that I could forgive her..."  
  
"But?" Hikari asked, trying to guess what Asuka wanted to say.  
  
Asuka fell silent. She clenched a fist so hard her knuckles cracked.  
  
"Shinji asked me that, if she ever came back, could I at least _try_   
and make her feel welcome. Well, it was easy enough saying hi, I   
guess. But now she really _is_ back in our lives, isn't she?"  
  
"Asuka..." Hikari said. She reached over and touched Asuka's fist.   
"Look, you told me all about this. I know you feel like she was   
against you, but - "  
  
"The doll saved me," Asuka said to the sky, nodding a little. She sat   
up. "That's what I just can't forget. The damn doll saved _me_. She   
didn't like me, or even respect me. But they told her to save me, so   
that's what she did."  
  
Hikari's brow furrowed. She knew Asuka was talking about the incident   
with the 15th Angel and the mind-rape involved; over time, the story   
had slowly come out. But she still didn't know what to say. The   
bitterness ran deep, apparently.  
  
"It's like I'm always losing to dolls," Asuka said. "Shinji even got   
along better with her than with me."  
  
"But - "  
  
"Just a sec," Asuka said, holding up one hand. "Just listen for a   
sec."  
  
"Why...why don't you tell Shinji about this?" Hikari asked, quietly.   
"He might be able to help."  
  
Asuka shook her head. "No...I don't want to worry him. He knows I   
didn't get along with Rei, and he's got enough stuff on his mind   
already. Comes with being the leader, you know," she said, smiling   
sadly.  
  
Hikari closed her mouth and just nodded mutely.  
  
"And now she's the one who's in control of the thing that might just   
help us get up off the ground. You've been watching that, right?"   
Asuka said, gesturing in the Eva's general direction.  
  
Hikari nodded again.  
  
"So now...I don't know. I guess I'm just afraid she'll be one-upping   
me again," Asuka said. She shook her head. "I'm more of a baka than   
Shinji. I don't have the right to be worrying about that stuff, but I   
still am."  
  
"You're right," Hikari said, switching over to "Class Rep" mode and   
putting on her best "annoyed" face. "Asuka, what you're talking about   
happened years ago. _Years_, okay? Just put it behind you."  
  
Asuka snorted. "It's not that easy."  
  
Hikari now looked genuinely angry. "If Ayanami hadn't helped you,   
you'd be dead, okay? _Dead_. And no matter what you say, it's better   
to be alive. You might be bitter, but you're right, you _don't_ have   
the right to be worried about who's better than who. We're all in the   
dust, trying to build something back up before we die."  
  
Asuka turned her head and cocked an eyebrow, amused. "Hit a nerve   
somewhere? Or maybe..."  
  
Hikari instantly switched over to looking very embarassed. "Sorry,"   
she said. "It's just...well, you know, with the way I am, and all.   
I'll try to keep it under control."  
  
"Uh huh," Asuka said, false annoyance on her face. "But actually...you   
might have a point. Maybe...oh, what the hell. She's starting her   
life over. I could give starting over with her a shot."  
  
Hikari nodded. "Now _that's_ more like it."  
  
"Maybe I'll use her first name...or not. I'll just make it up as I go   
along, I guess."  
  
"Fine. Do it your way, but at least give it a chance. I'm sure   
Ayanami doesn't care what happened before."  
  
"Wouldn't care if I sawed her leg off..." Asuka muttered. She then   
rolled her eyes and tapped herself on the head with her fist. "Gotta   
stop that," she said. "Damn, it's gonna be harder than I thought."  
  
"Hm."  
  
They both lay back down on the hillside and went back to looking at the   
sky.  
  
"...Thanks, Hikari," Asuka said, finally breaking the silence.   
"And...sorry for unloading my problems on you like this."  
  
"What're friends for? But anyway, you're welcome."  
  
"So...how're you doing?"  
  
Hikari shrugged as best she could while lying down. "Not bad. I was   
just wondering what you're up to. There's not much for me to do, you   
know, the way I am."  
  
Asuka nodded knowingly. "Where'd that baka Kensuke go, anyway? I   
thought he was supposed to be helping you."  
  
Hikari smiled. "He's busy with that truck they turned back over   
earlier. He's trying to get the battery working again."  
  
Asuka shook his head. "And left you all alone? That idiot knows   
better than that."  
  
Hikari laughed. "No, he actually asked me first, and I said it was OK.   
So I thought I'd come over to see you. What were you doing? You were   
just sitting here, staring off into space, like Ayanami."  
  
Asuka let out a short laugh. "God, I'm not _that_ bad. Sorry I   
worried you. I was just...thinking. About the stuff I just told you   
about."  
  
"Oh. Uh..." Hikari searched for a way to alleviate some of the   
tension. "It'll be nice if he can get the truck working, won't it?"  
  
Asuka nodded. Then her eyes glazed over as she went back to her   
thoughts.  
  
"You're doing it again," Hikari chided. "I know you're the leader and   
all, Asuka...but stop worrying about Ayanami. Just for a few minutes,   
okay?"  
  
Asuka sighed again, before looking back at the Eva. The machine had   
finally stopped moving, and gone back to it's former position:   
motionless, stuck in a crouching position on the ground. She could   
just barely make out the forms of Rei and Kaoru sitting on its   
shoulders.  
  
"I wish I could."  
  
"Hi there," Misato said, walking past them. "Taking a break, girls?"   
Misato, for her part, was carrying an armload of kindling and other   
assorted flammables, to keep a fire going once night fell.  
  
"Hi, Misato," Asuka said. "How're you - "  
  
"Katsuragi-san, can you help me out?" Hikari asked, cutting Asuka off.   
The brown-haired girl sat up carefully, meeting Misato's gaze.  
  
Misato's face became worried. "What is it? Do you feel sick?"  
  
Hikari shook her head. "No, no, it's not that. I need you to help   
Asuka here with her problems with Ayanami."  
  
"Hikari!" Asuka shouted, sitting up so fast she became dizzy. "You're   
not supposed to _tell_ anyone about that!"  
  
Hikari ignored her. "She needs to get some time with Ayanami to, you   
know, say hi, and at least _try_ being friendly to her."  
  
Misato's face instantly brightened. "Well, now, _that's_ something   
different altogether."  
  
"Hey!" Asuka said, trying to make himself known. "I can get along   
fine, you know."  
  
Hikari shook her head. "Asuka, I know you probably could, but let me   
speed things up, here. Katsuragi-san, can't you order her or   
something?"  
  
Misato laughed. "Not anymore. But sure...uh...hey, we could probably   
have a party, you know. That's the perfect place to get to know   
people."  
  
Asuka's eyes widened. "A _what_? Misato, Ayanami going to a party is   
about as likely as a rock learning to fly."  
  
"Come onnnnn..." Misato said, cajolingly, but at the same time sounding   
like a mother trying to convince her child to do the right thing.   
"Look, I know Rei is...well, herself...but you can at least give her a   
chance."  
  
"I'll just order her to go," Asuka said under her breath. "Then she'd   
do it even if both her legs were broken."  
  
"What was that?" Hikari asked.  
  
"Nothing," Asuka said, waving her hand. ^I _will_ give Ayanami a   
chance, I _will_ give Ayanami a chance...^ she kept mentally repeating   
that phrase, hoping she could convince herself of it.  
  
"If anything, it'll give the people a chance to unwind," Misato said,   
trying to justify herself. "Dunno if you've noticed, but everyone's   
kind of tense, watching Unit-00 out there."  
  
"Really?" Asuka asked, looking out at the Eva. "I never really   
looked..."  
  
"Well, they are," Misato said. "Believe me, I've noticed."  
  
"Gotta learn that human-relations stuff," Asuka muttered to herself.   
She raised her voice and looked back to Misato. "Oh, what the hell.   
Go ahead, Misato. But you set it up."  
  
"No prob," Misato said, flashing a "V" with her fingers. "Come on,   
Hikari. You can probably help me out, if you feel up to it."  
  
"Of course I do," Hikari said, putting her hands on her hips. "I'm not   
_that_ bad, thank you."  
  
Misato smiled and led Hikari off.  
  
Asuka leaned back down on the hillside. ^I guess I'll have to explain   
this one to Shinji...might need to convince him to go along with it.   
that baka _is_ always worried about how we don't have enough of this   
and that.^  
  
She smiled at the thought of what "convincing" would involve. Finally,   
she got back to her feet and headed back towards the camp.  
  
* * *  
  
Later that same day, Ritsuko and Maya were standing some distance away   
from Unit-00, talking. The sun was setting in the background, slowly   
dimming the light around them.  
  
Nagisa was standing not far off. He had his hands in his pockets and   
was walking as though he was on top of the world. Rei, on the other   
hand, was sitting on the Eva's foot, her legs curled against her body,   
obviously waiting for something to happen.  
  
"So what's your final verdict?" Maya whispered to Ritsuko.  
  
"It's interesting how they reactivated a Dummy plug," Ritsuko said,   
glancing through some of the notes she'd taken. "And they truly seem   
to have the machine under their control, too. I wonder if it's   
possible to reactivate the other MP Evas like that..."  
  
"You're not serious, are you, Ritsuko?"  
  
Ritsuko glanced over to see Maya's horrified face. "We need to look   
into every possibility, Maya," she explained. "Any advantage we can   
find...should be worth it."  
  
Maya just sighed and shook her head. They remained in silence for some   
time.  
  
"So...how are you doing, Nagisa-san?" Maya asked the boy, raising her   
voice so he could hear. "Have you been adjusting well?"  
  
"Rei and I have only been back for a few days, Ibuki-san," Nagisa   
replied. "But we're doing well, thanks."  
  
Maya laughed lightly. "Oh, go ahead and call me Maya," she said. "I   
have a feeling me an Ritsuko-san will be spending a lot of time with   
you and Ayanami-san."  
  
Kaoru smiled. "Then you may call me Kaoru," he said. "And the same   
goes for you, Ritsuko-san," he added, bowing slightly. Maya blushed in   
spite of herself. Kaoru, for his part, turned to look at Rei, trying   
to figure out what the girl was thinking.  
  
Maya found herself under an appraising stare from Ritsuko. "I know he   
was an Angel..." Maya said, trying to explain herself. "But...well,   
you know. We're all kind of in the same situation."  
  
"Yes. I understand that much, Maya," Ritsuko said. "Let's get back.   
It's getting cold."  
  
"Alright." Maya turned towards Kaoru and Rei. "We're headed back, you   
two. Do you want to come along?"  
  
Kaoru and Rei simultaneously glanced over at the setting sun. "I guess   
we _should_ get something to eat, eh?" Kaoru asked, remembering that   
the last time he'd eaten had been that morning. Usually, Maya and   
Ritsuko brought some food with them, knowing that the two children were   
still somewhat hesitant to go into the camp. Not to mention most of   
the survivors were still scared of Rei.  
  
They started walking. Ritsuko and Maya took the lead, while Kaoru and   
Rei followed not far behind.  
  
As they neared the camp, they began hearing noises of ferverent   
activity and...celebration?  
  
They came to the fringe of the camp in time to see a large fire had   
been lit, with people hanging around it, talking, laughing, and   
generally enjoying themselves.  
  
"What the..." Ritsuko began. She figured it out a moment later.   
"...figures."  
  
"What is it, Ritsuko-san?" Kaoru asked, squinting to try and see what   
was going on ahead of them.  
  
"You'll find out in a minute. I hope you don't mind parties, Nagisa."  
  
"Kaoru, please," the boy corrected. "It sounds interesting. Come on,   
Rei. Let's see what this is about."  
  
Rei quietly came forwards, matching stride with Kaoru as he headed into   
the camp.  
  
"Think Misato set it up?" Maya asked.  
  
"Who else?" Ritsuko responded. She watched Rei and Kaoru disappear   
behind one of the houses. Several voices were raised soon after,   
welcoming the children back.  
  
Ritsuko nodded, feeling an almost tangible weight get lifted off of her   
shoulders. "Well...I guess we're through studying the Eva. Now we   
just have to hope they use it right."  
  
Maya nodded. "Are you okay, Ritsu-chan?" she asked, reverting back to   
the more familiar name.  
  
"I guess," Ritsuko said. "It's hard seeing her again, but...yeah, I   
could be worse."  
  
"You don't sound like it," Maya said playfully, nudging Ritsuko in the   
ribs.  
  
"Well...I know what I did to the other Reis," Ritsuko said. "And I   
know she knows. But Rei's so damn _distant_...I don't know what she's   
thinking."  
  
"Well...come on, let's see what Misato's got set up. Maybe you can   
unwind a little."  
  
Ritsuko nodded, though she didn't believe she was going to get anything   
out of this. Re-adjusting to having Rei and the Evas in her life again   
was going to take more than a few days. She'd just have to give it   
time.  
  
^I can at least do _that_ much,^ she thought.  
  
* * *  
  
On entering the camp, Rei and Kaoru found themselves greeted by the   
few people they were anywhere close to being friends with.  
  
"Welcome back!" Misato said, being the first to talk.  
  
"How'd it go?" Asuka asked, stepping towards Rei and Kaoru.  
  
Shinji was there too, but said nothing, preferring not to confuse the   
new arrivals.  
  
"It went well, thank you," Kaoru said, his eyes sweeping over them.   
"Ritsuko-san has confirmed that the Eva is fully functional. Of   
course, Rei and I knew that already."  
  
Rei nodded in response to this, though her eyes wandered over to   
Shinji. The boy met her gaze, smiling a moment later. Rei felt her   
own lips curl up, seeing him happy like that.  
  
Misato started leading them back into the camp. "Well, come on and   
tell us everything," she said. "We all wanna know."  
  
"Yeah, come on!" Asuka said, grabbing Rei and Kaoru's hands and   
dragging them along. Rei's smile fell, but she let herself be pulled   
in. Shinji followed close behind, still smiling.  
  
They came into the camp, seeing that a party was indeed underway.   
Well, what passed for a party on Post-Third-Impact Earth, anyway. A   
bonfire had been set up and was burning brightly, lighting up the camp   
as the sun set in the distance. People were all standing around the   
fire, talking and eating. Most of them seemed to be enjoying   
themselves.  
  
"We figured something like this was in order," Misato said.  
  
"You mean _you_ figured something like this was in order," Shinji   
muttered to himself.  
  
"Everyone was kind of tense from watching what you did with the Eva,   
so we needed to do something," Misato continued, not having heard   
Shinji. "Come on, we were sitting over here."  
  
They walked over to a spot not far from the fire, sitting on top of a   
thick, toppled concrete slab. It might have once been a wall, but   
there was no way to tell. Now, it was just an improvised dais for the   
leaders of the survivors.  
  
They all took seats in a semicircle, watching the people relax.   
Misato excused herself for a minute to go get something for them to   
eat.  
  
"So...what did Akagi-san say?" Shinji asked, looking over at the red-  
eyed children sitting across from him. "She said today was probably   
the last day of testing."  
  
"It was," Rei began, in her soft, even voice. "We explained to her   
that we used one of the Mass-Production Evas for raw materials."  
  
In speaking, she cut off Kaoru, who'd begun to assume he was going to   
have to do all the talking. The boy looked slightly surprised by Rei   
taking the initiative, but seemed to mentally shake it off. Rei began,   
in her soft, even voice.   
  
"MP Evas..." Asuka mumbled to herself. She shuddered at a sudden,   
unwelcome memory. Shinji's brow furrowed in worry as he saw this, and   
he reached over to take Asuka's hand. The girl looked at him   
thankfully, as he squeezed her hand reassuringly.  
  
"So that leaves...what, eight others?" Shinji asked.  
  
Rei nodded silently, the barest hint of sadness appearing around her   
eyes. Shinji failed to notice this subtle show of emotion, being too   
concerned with keeping Asuka together.  
  
"Eight, yes," Asuka said, not having seen Rei. "And those others   
better _stay_ dead, dammit..."  
  
"Don't worry, Soryu," Kaoru said, cocking his head as he looked at the   
pair in front of him. "The current Eva was only able to reactivate   
with our intervention."  
  
Rei opened her mouth to say something about Akagi suggesting they   
bring back the others, but then reconsidered. It wasn't necessary at   
the moment, and...saying something like that would just cause Asuka   
pain.  
  
^But I want to see her hurt...why? Why should I wish pain on someone   
else, and one of the leaders at that? But...watching her with Ikari...^  
  
Misato returned a few minutes later, with a makeshift tray in one hand   
and a bottle in the other. Shinji looked at the bottle and narrowed   
his eyes. "Really, Misato-san. We need that to help clean cuts."  
  
"Ah, let me have my fun," Misato said, waving him off. She sat down   
and handed Kaoru and Rei the tray. The two children quickly dug into   
the food that had been on it.   
  
Asuka watched Rei, the German girl visibly becoming more nervous. ^I   
promised myself I'd try...but it's _her_. This is gonna be harder than   
I guessed...^  
  
Misato, for her part, popped open the bottle of sake. She took a long   
glug from it, as Shinji covered his eyes in defeat.  
  
Asuka took note of the bottle and her eyes went wide. "Hey! You   
sharing?"  
  
"Ah, sure," Misato said, passing Asuka the bottle. The German girl   
immediately took a quick shot of her own. "Aaaaaaaaahhh..." she said,   
in a much more toned-down version of Misato's normal yell. She   
relaxed as she handed the sake back to Misato.  
  
Kaoru swallowed the roll he'd been eating. "I assume that's something   
in short supply?" he asked, watching.  
  
"Uh huh," Shinji replied. He and Rei sighed, simultaneously. Some   
things never changed, whether or not there was an apocalypse.  
  
Kaoru's eyes flickered over the other four people sitting in front of   
him. He smiled slightly, thinking. Then, he stood up, extending a   
hand to Misato.  
  
"Excuse me, Katsuragi-san, but I believe there are many people here   
who don't know me. Would you care to show me around?"  
  
Misato raised an eyebrow, but then took his hand and got to her feet.   
  
"I guess, so, sure. Rei, you want to get re-introduced?"  
  
"I suppose I shou - "  
  
"No, Rei, why don't you stay here and finish explaining to these two   
what we did with the Eva?" Kaoru asked. His eyes caught Rei's, and   
held them. Rei looked at him, confused, but then resumed her sitting   
position, crossing her hands in her lap.  
  
Kaoru immediately hopped off of the slab they were sitting on. Misato   
began to follow, but stopped as Shinji called out to her.  
  
"Misato-san...leave the sake."  
  
"Shinji! C'mon, it's not like I get to party every night anymore."  
  
"Misato..."  
  
"Ack. Oh, all right." Misato took another sip from the sake, then   
left the bottle on the ground, grumbling and turning to go follow   
Kaoru.  
  
"So..." Shinji began, looking back to Rei. "What _did_ you two do,   
anyway? I didn't think you could do that with one of the Evas."  
  
Rei blinked. "A normal person could not. Yet Kaoru-san and I are   
apparently still somewhat related to the Angels."  
  
"Does that bother you?" Shinji asked, trying to look encouraging.  
  
Rei shook her head, once. "It is what I am. Kaoru-san and I chose to   
return in this form."  
  
"Alright, this is getting a little dark," Asuka said. "Just a   
minute." She got up and picked up the bottle Misato had left behind,   
coming back and sitting back down next to Shinji.  
  
^Alright, Asuka,^ she thought to herself. ^Just do it like you always   
do. Here goes.^  
  
"So come on, Rei...how's life? What're you and that Nagisa kid going   
to do, now?"  
  
Rei blinked several times. That was the first time Asuka had ever   
called her by her first name. Not only that, she hadn't said it in a   
sarcastic or deragatory way.  
  
Shinji noticed this, too. "No more 'Wonder Girl,' Asuka?"  
  
Asuka glanced at him. "I can't stay mad forever," she said, putting on   
her best confident attitude. "And as much as you baka guys would want   
to see a bitch fight, we can't go doing that _now_, can we?" she asked,   
nudging him with her elbow.  
  
Shinji rolled his eyes and looked back to Rei. "But really,   
Ayanami...what do you and Kaoru-kun have planned?"  
  
"I'm not certain," Rei replied, her eyes moving towards the ground.   
Asuka took this moment to take a shot from the sake.  
  
"Currently I am just focused on re-adjusting to living," Rei   
continued. "We need to get used to the new conditions."  
  
"Yeah," Shinji said. "It's hard, believe me. But hey, if you were   
determined enough to come back, you should be determined enough to   
keep going afterwards, right?"  
  
Asuka cut off Rei's response by passing Shinji the bottle. "Here,   
Shinji-chan, have some of this."  
  
"Asuka...you know we can't go wasting this..."  
  
"Oh, come on, have some fun for once."  
  
"Well..." Shinji trailed off, but he took the bottle anyway. He took   
a brief sip from it.  
  
"That's more like it," Asuka said, putting her arm around his   
shoulders. She leaned against him and looked over to Rei. "You want   
some?" she asked, amicably.  
  
Rei shook her head, crossing her hands in her lap and keeping her face   
blank. She got a sick feeling in her stomach, watching those two so   
close, but she doing a good job ignoring that sensation.  
  
^It's just another thing I need to deal with,^ Rei thought. ^If I   
ignore it, I should be fine.^ She tried very hard to convince herself   
that that was true.  
  
They started talking, taking the time to tell each other how their   
lives were going. The food Misato had brought slowly disappeared, as   
did the sake.  
  
* * *  
  
Misato led Kaoru through the camp, introducing him to a few key   
people. She didn't tell anyone about what he'd been before Third   
Impact. Right now, he was just a boy trying to start over. What he'd   
been before then didn't matter. Yet.  
  
She kept her eye on him as they moved among the people there. Kaoru   
didn't bother with things like dancing or drinking, but he talked a   
great deal, getting to know the people around him. He'd lost none of   
his charm; most of the people he met seemed to like him very much.   
The only exceptions were people who had prior knowledge of him.   
Shigeru, for instance, went to great lengths to avoid talking to the   
boy.  
  
Kaoru was wandering aimlessly when Misato caught a glimpse of a girl   
with freckles and brown hair.  
  
"Oh, come over this way," Misato said, grabbing Kaoru's hand and   
pulling him towards the girl.  
  
"Who is it now, Katsuragi-san?" he asked, as he matched pace with   
Misato to avoid being dragged along the ground.  
  
Misato made it up to her target. "Kaoru Nagisa...meet Hikari Horaki."  
  
"A pleasure," he said, nodding in the girl's direction. His eyes   
glanced downwards. "Been busy, I see?" he asked, looking back into   
Hikari's face.  
  
Hikari turned a rather impressive red. "Well...you know," she said,   
gingerly stroking her stomach, which was just beginning to bulge with   
what it carried.  
  
Kaoru smiled. "I'm happy for you," he said. "Now, I believe you're   
one of Soryu's friends, correct?"  
  
Hikari nodded. "I - "  
  
"Hey, Misato!" Kensuke Aida said, coming up to them. The boy hadn't   
changed much in the years; he was slightly taller, and his hair was   
more ordered than it had once been, but he still had the same boyish   
face.  
  
"Oh, hi there," Misato said. "Here, I'd like you to meet Kaoru   
Nagisa."  
  
After the introductions were over with, Kaoru looked back over to   
Hikari. "Now then, where were we? Oh, yes. When are you due?" he   
asked the girl.  
  
Hikari blushed again. "Well, remember we don't have much of a way to   
tell time. I'm still a long way off, but it still gives me an excuse   
to get out of the heavier work."  
  
Misato gave Hikari an annoyed look, while Kensuke laughed. "Hey, you   
know," the boy said. "She's just doing her part. We gotta rebuild,   
and all."  
  
"And _you_ get to help me out," Hikari interjected. "The first male   
nurse-slash-electrician, eh?"  
  
Kensuke laughed again, though it was more subdued this time. He   
rubbed the back of his head nervously.  
  
"Of course," Kaoru said. "So, you're the father, I assume?"  
  
Kensuke paled. "If I was, I don't think I'd still be alive. Touji   
would break my neck."  
  
Kaoru cocked his head, interested. "Touji?"  
  
"Touji Suzuhara," Kensuke explained. "He...well, you know..." he   
said, gesturing to Hikari, who blushed again.  
  
Kaoru nodded. "I see. Well, he's a very lucky man. Where is   
Suzuhara-san, anyway?"  
  
Hikari's happy mood quickly dried up. "He's not here right now," she   
said. "He volunteered to go explore the area around here, to see if   
anyone else has set up something like what we have here. He's been   
gone...for a few weeks, now."  
  
Kaoru's brow furrowed at the sadness he heard in Hikari's voice.   
"Well, I'm sure he'll come back soon," he said, gingerly taking   
Hikari's hand.  
  
"You're taking your life in your hands there, buddy," Kensuke said.  
  
"Shut up," Hikari shot off at the other boy. "Thank you," she said to   
Kaoru, her voice much softer. "It's...really nice of you, to say   
that."  
  
"You're welcome," Kaoru said, flashing her a smile before letting go   
of her hand. He turned to Kensuke. "Aida-san, Rei tells me you're   
very interested in the Evas."  
  
"Well...I was. There's not much left for Evas to blow up or smash   
anymore, so they just aren't as exciting, you know?"  
  
"Would you like to come look at Unit-00 with me?"  
  
"Hell yes," Kensuke replied, immediately. He then realized his slip   
and turned red, as everyone else laughed.  
  
"Well, come on then," Kaoru said, gesturing for the boy to follow.  
  
Kensuke turned towards Hikari. "Are you okay without me?" he asked.  
  
Hikari nodded. "Yeah, I'll just hang onto Misato here," the girl   
replied, nudging Misato with her elbow.  
  
"Alright. Well, you know where I'll be," he said, turning towards the   
huge blue mecha over by Rei and Kaoru's shelter. He followed the   
other boy off into the distance.  
  
"Boys will be boys," Misato said, shaking her head. "So, Hikari...you   
know where I can find some booze around here?"  
  
* * *  
  
Some considerable time after Kaoru had left Rei with Shinji and Asuka,   
the red-eyed girl was trying not to sigh in exasperation.  
  
The bottle of sake lay empty on the ground. Rei had not drunk any of   
it, having previously observed the effect it had on people. Asuka -   
and to a lesser extent Shinji - had much looser inhibitions. They   
also had frighteningly low tolerances to the stuff, probably because   
alcohol was such a precious commodity that they barely ever drank any.  
  
"Hey, Shinjiiii..." Asuka slurred out. "Don' you think Ra nee's to   
loos'n up?"  
  
"Asuka..." Shinji said, trailing off. He blinked several times,   
trying to stay awake. "You're drunk, aren't you?"  
  
"Yup," Asuka said, smiling. She leaned on Shinji's shoulder and   
lazily traced a finger around his flushed cheeks. "Bu' you are   
tooooo, Shinji-chan..."  
  
Shinji sighed, as his head dipped down a little. He snapped his head   
back up, but it drooped again. "We should prob'bly get to bed," He   
said. He looked apologetically at Rei, but only for a moment.  
  
"Al-riiight!" Asuka groaned out. "We is partyin' tonight!" She   
raised both her hands up, flashing a double "V" to the world with her   
fingers. Then she hiccuped, leaned back on Shinji's shoulder, and   
closed her eyes. She was snoring a moment later.  
  
Shinji sighed again. "I'm sorry, Ayanami..." he said. "But could you   
help me with her?"  
  
Rei didn't move. She looked over Asuka, then back into Shinji's eyes.   
"When...when did it start?"  
  
"Hm?" Shinji asked, blinking again. He stood up and looped his hands   
under Asuka's armpits, supporting her as he stood up. Rei's brow   
furrowed, but then she got to her feet and took Asuka's legs.   
Together, they started walking back towards Shinji's hut.  
  
"When did what start, Ayanami?" he asked, as they walked.  
  
"...between you and Soryu. When did you start...getting closer?"  
  
"Oh," Shinji replied, simply. He said nothing for the next few   
minutes. In that time, they made it back to the shelter, where they   
deposited Asuka on the blanket resting on the ground. As they let go   
of her, she rolled over, sprawling out over the ground.  
  
Shinji motioned for them to step outside. Rei followed him to the   
"doorway" of the shelter. Once outside, Shinji leaned back against   
the rough stone wall and sat down on the ground. The exertion of   
carrying the girl here had woken him up, but he still felt tired.  
  
"She can be worse than Misato-san, sometimes," Shinji said, shaking   
his head.  
  
Rei said nothing; she sat down on the opposite side of the entry, then   
turned her head to look over at him. She waited patiently.  
  
"Oh, yeah, your question," Shinji said, as though just remembering.   
He shifted position, holding one knee against his body and stretching   
out his free leg. "I guess I should be dramatic and say something   
like, 'I don't know when, it just sort of happened'."  
  
Rei's only reaction was to blink.  
  
"But I can't really say that. It's kind of a long story."  
  
"I have time."  
  
Shinji looked over at Rei, surprised at what she'd said. Then he   
smiled and shrugged it off. He was tired, but...she looked like she   
wanted to know. Ayanami actually being _interested_ in something was   
a rare event.  
  
^Oh, why not?^ he figured. ^She _is_ a friend...I guess...^  
  
"What was it...well, just after...you know...," he began.  
  
"Third Impact," Rei said, saying the words Shinji hadn't wanted to.  
  
"Yeah," Shinji said, nodding nervously. He rubbed the back of his   
head with one hand. "Anyway, after that, we were both pretty messed   
up. I can't remember when I came back...I just sort of woke up on a   
beach, with this sea of LCL out there in front of me."  
  
Rei nodded. She'd gotten a brief glimpse of that, herself. Her point   
of view had been just over the surface of the liquid, looking at   
Shinji. The boy had looked back at her...and seemed to understand what   
had just happened.  
  
"Let's see...we eventually got up and had a look around," Shinji   
continued. He flexed his hands as he said this, as an unwanted memory   
came back. He could still remember the feel of Asuka's neck in his   
hands.  
  
"So then...we spent the first few days just looking around, to see   
what had survived. There wasn't much." He laughed a little. "There   
wasn't even much in the form of shelter."  
  
"Yes?" Rei asked, her voice almost expectant.  
  
"So, every night, we never really slept far from each other. Because   
of that, almost every night I could hear her crying herself to sleep.   
One day, I offered to help, and she...slapped me for it. She'd been   
through so much...and she still only wanted to rely on herself."  
  
Rei nodded, turning her head to look at the sky as Shinji continued.  
  
"Then...one night, I was going to sleep, and she came up next to me.   
She asked me if she could talk to me for a while."   
  
He slowly took a breath and let it out. "And she just started   
talking. About her mom...about Unit-02...about the MP Evas...she told   
me so much, everything that was on her mind, everything that was   
making her cry herself to sleep. I asked her why me. And she said,   
'why not'?"  
  
Shinji closed his eyes, remembering. "So then she asked me what was   
on _my_ mind. Said that she actually wanted to know." He looked   
conspiratorially at Rei. "I think she just felt guilty," he   
whispered. "But...I don't know, maybe she actually _did_ want to   
hear. I can't tell what she's thinking, half the time."  
  
Rei didn't respond, but still appeared to be listening. Shinji   
continued.  
  
"So I told her about everything that happened. I told her about what   
I saw during Third Impact..." - the words came out easier, this time -   
"...and about Kaoru, and you, and Unit-01...it was really weird. I   
hadn't really thought all that stuff was bothering me, anymore, but I   
couldn't stop myself. I guess I was just deluding myself, thinking   
that it didn't bother me."  
  
"Did knowing about me bother you?" Rei asked, looking back at him.  
  
"Hm?" Shinji asked, turning to look at her. "You...well...it was   
strange, learning about where you came from."  
  
"Did knowing about me bother you?" Rei repeated.  
  
"Kind of...I guess..." Shinji said, meekly, turning his head away from   
her gaze. "Seeing that tank full of extra bodies just made my stomach   
turn. And Ritsuko-san also said you were part Angel. Half of you was   
the thing we were supposed to be killing. I...didn't know what to   
think."  
  
Rei went back to looking at the sky. ^He's afraid of me...^  
  
"...go on," Rei said. "What happened after you spoke with Soryu?"   
She turned back to looking at the sky.  
  
Shinji smiled a little, seeing that he wasn't the only one who didn't   
want to follow that other line of thought. ^You don't want to be left   
alone either, do you, Ayanami?^ he thought.  
  
"But anyway," he continued, "Asuka listened to me the whole time.   
Then she got up to leave. I don't know, maybe talking like that gave   
me courage, but I asked her if she wanted to stay. And...she just lay   
down next to me and went to sleep."  
  
He paused, letting silence fall on them, while they watched everyone   
else try to enjoy themselves in the dimming light.  
  
"And that's when it happened," he said, after a long while. "I knew   
right then...that if we were going anywhere, it would be together."  
  
He looked over at Rei. The girl was resting her chin in one hand,   
staring straight ahead into space. If not for the occasional blink,   
she could do a stunning impression of a statue. ^I thought she wanted   
to know...^ Shinji wondered. ^Why is she looking so disinterested   
now? I guess that's just how Ayanami is...^  
  
"I must sound like an idiot, huh?" Shinji asked her, trying to get her   
attention.  
  
Rei didn't respond. She didn't change her position. Shinji leaned   
over to touch her arm and see if she was okay, but changed his mind at   
the last second, turning back and resuming his seat on the other side   
of the doorway. At this, Rei sighed, the noise so quiet that she   
barely heard it herself.  
  
"Idiot..." she said to herself. Shinji heard it, though, and thought   
she was talking to him.  
  
"Yeah, I guess I can be," he said, leaning back and crossing his hands   
behind his head.  
  
"Do you love her?" Rei asked, raising her voice slightly so Shinji   
could hear her more easily.   
  
^I don't know if I'll be able to understand his answer...not if I   
don't even understand my _own_ feelings. But I still want to hear   
what he has to say.^  
  
Shinji paused, thinking it over. "I wish I could say..." he said.   
"They always say it hits you, right out of the blue, just 'bam!' And   
you know right then. But...yes, I guess I do."  
  
Rei just nodded. She also turned her head off to the side, turning   
her face away from Shinji and leaning her head against the wall. She   
gently rubbed at her eyes, which had become moist all of a sudden.  
  
^I'm reacting this way again...what's wrong with me? Or is this how   
I'm supposed to be acting? I'm so confused...^  
  
"Are you tired?" Shinji asked her. From his point of view, Rei's   
actions looked like they came from fatigue. "It _has_ been kind of a   
long day, hasn't it?"  
  
"Yes, it has," Rei said, evenly. She slowly adjusted her balance and   
got to her feet.  
  
"Heading back?" Shinji asked. Quiet crunching sounds came as he got   
to his feet. "Here, I'll go back with you."  
  
"It's not necessary, Ikari-kun."  
  
"Humor me."  
  
Rei turned her head to look at him, intending to tell him he should   
stay behind. But as her eyes met his, the words died in her mouth.   
She shook her head slightly and turned to go, listening as Shinji fell   
in step beside her.  
  
"Idiot..." she said to herself, again. Shinji heard it again, but   
only looked at her, confused and questioning. Rei tried not to   
notice.  
  
They didn't say anything, the whole way back. Shinji kept trying to   
think up things to break the silence, but Rei's deadpan expression   
kept him from trying.  
  
What he didn't know was that _this_ time, the blank expression was a   
result of a tumult of thoughts going on in Rei's mind. So much was   
going through her head at once that she didn't know how to react.  
  
^...he said that was when he knew...but for something so simple as   
talking?  
  
^...I was never good at talking, was I...  
  
^...he said he loved her...^  
  
Shinji stopped as they reached the shelter Unit-00 had set up just   
days before. Kaoru was there already with Kensuke. Kensuke was   
almost literally drooling over the sight of the nearby Eva, while   
Kaoru was explaining a few of the Eva's capabilities.  
  
"...goodnight, Ayanami," Shinji said, quietly. So quietly, in fact,   
that he wasn't sure she'd heard him. But as Rei walked away, she   
turned her head to look at him again.  
  
"Goodnight, Ikari-kun. See you tomorrow." With that, she walked off   
into the shelter.  
  
Shinji watched, even more confused, as she walked away. He turned   
back towards the camp, feeling the fatigue of the day start to catch   
up to him.  
  
"I wonder if she'll ever call me by my first name?" he wondered aloud,   
as he walked.  
  
* * *  
  
Rei lay down on the blanket she'd laid out on the ground. The dirt   
was rather forgiving, but putting an extra pad down was cleaner, if   
anything. She knew she could sleep just about anywhere - from an   
actual bed to a hospital chair to an Entry Plug - but she also knew   
cleanliness was a good thing to have.  
  
She curled up on the blanket, as night fell outside. Another blanket   
lay nearby, in case it became cold later on. She closed her eyes and   
tried to go to sleep.  
  
Unfortunately, sleep was not quick in coming. This was strange in   
itself; Rei knew she'd _never_ had trouble getting to sleep before.  
  
She rolled over, switching positions in hopes that that would make it   
easier to fall asleep. It didn't work. She rolled onto her back and   
looked at the stony ceiling, trying to figure out what she could do.   
She knew she needed to sleep; there would be much to do tomorrow. So   
why couldn't she?  
  
"Having trouble?" Kaoru asked, from his bed nearby. Rei turned her   
head and looked at him, surprised that he was also awake. In the dim   
light, she could barely make out his form, but it seemed he was lying   
on his back, with his hands crossed behind his head. His eyes also   
appeared to be closed.  
  
"Yes..." Rei said, hesitantly.  
  
"I suppose it's only to be expected. You and Shinji-kun _were_   
talking for some time, I saw."  
  
Rei felt her cheeks heat up at the tone in Kaoru's voice as he said   
that. ^Stop it, you idiot,^ she thought to herself. ^You can't think   
about Ikari.^  
  
Kaoru fell silent for some time. Rei was beginning to think he'd gone   
to sleep when he spoke up again.  
  
"Why do you feel that way?" he asked, quietly.  
  
"Excuse me?" Rei asked.  
  
In the dark, Kaoru turned his head in her direction, and opened his   
eyes. "Why do you feel the way you do about Shinji-kun?"  
  
Rei felt her cheeks heat up again. She shook her head clear before   
opening her mouth to reply. But no words came out; she didn't know   
what to say. She paused, sorting through her thoughts.  
  
"...I don't know," she finally said.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"I'm not sure. It's very undefined, Kaoru-san. It's...just something   
about him."  
  
"Surely you can do better than that."  
  
Rei sighed. "He..." she stopped, thinking about what to say.   
Finally, she hit on it. "He's the only person who ever asked me to   
smile."  
  
"...That's all?" Kaoru asked, incredulous.  
  
Rei shook her head slowly. "That was just the first thing I thought   
of," she explained. "He's also the only person I've ever cried for."  
  
"So he hit the extremes then, eh?"  
  
Rei continued, ignoring Kaoru's comment. "I...don't know when it   
happened. I don't know when I started to love him - "  
  
"_Do_ you love him?"  
  
Rei blinked at the question, pausing. "I..." she said, trailing off.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Rei sat up, thinking. ^Ikari-kun said that he loved Soryu...and he   
had a definite time when it happened. Yet I cannot...what does that   
mean?^  
  
"Yes, I do," Rei replied, the words coming out of her mouth before she   
even knew what she was saying. "I...I _hate_ seeing him with   
her...and I have never hated before. I know it's hopeless, but I know   
I can't stop feeling like this, either..."  
  
"Interesting," Kaoru replied. He rolled over, turning his back to   
her. "Well, why don't you try getting to sleep again, Rei?"  
  
Rei blinked at the sudden change in attitude. "What?"  
  
"Try again," Kaoru said. "Sometimes saying what's on your mind can   
help. Shinji-kun did the same thing with me. He had so much he was   
worried about, but if he told me about it, he would feel better, and   
he'd be able to get to sleep."  
  
^But I _don't_ feel better...^ Rei thought.  
  
She listened quietly as Kaoru's breathing became slower and more   
regular. Slowly, she lay back down on her blanket and shut her eyes.   
This time, she could feel sleep coming. ^I guess it _does_ work,^ she   
thought.  
  
Just before she began to lose consciousness, she felt a twinge in her   
spine. It spread quickly, sending a cold shiver through her body and   
leaving her breathless for a minute. On the corner of her   
consciousness, she saw Kaoru react the same way, at the same time.   
However, the boy remained asleep.  
  
Breathing hard as she regained control again, Rei thought about what   
that could have been. Unable to come up with an answer, she closed   
her eyes. Sleep came quickly.  
  
***  
  
As Rei and Kaoru were talking themselves to sleep, two other people   
were trying to get to get comfortable. Well, _one_ person was trying   
to get comfortable. The girl sharing his home was already   
unconscious.  
  
"You're going to hate yourself in the morning, aren't you?" Shinji   
asked, stroking Asuka's hair absentmindedly with one hand.  
  
"Baka," he said quietly, smiling as he looked down on her. He   
carefully lay down next to her, draping one arm over her as he closed   
his eyes and pulled her a little closer.  
  
As he tried to get comfortable, it happened: a rigorous chill ran   
through his body, stealing his breath from him. He felt Asuka shiver   
as well, under his arm.  
  
Shinji was left confused as to what had caused that. "Must be colder   
than I thought," he reasoned. He pulled an extra blanket over the two   
of them, and resumed his former position. It didn't take him long to   
get comfortable again, and it didn't take much longer after that for   
him to get to sleep.  
  
* * *  
  
In the dead of night, something off the south coast of Japan moved.  
  
Life returned to long-dead limbs. Joints creaked as the soul was torn   
out of the body, to be replaced by a new soul. Stony skin crackled,   
rippling as it changed over to white flesh. As this happened, five   
special people, who were once called the Children, felt it, their   
bodies reacting strongly to this unholy reincarnation.  
  
The resurrected Mass-Production Eva stood up. It pulled the Lancea   
Longinus copy out of its chest. The weapon disintegrated as soon as   
it was out of the Eva, but it was no matter.  
  
The mecha groaned, opening its demonic mouth and baring its teeth as   
its wings extended, stretching to their full span. The Eva tested   
them gingerly, flapping them until it was sure the wings were in good   
condition. Then, with a stronger flap, it took to the skies.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: What's with that look you're giving me? Eva is a great   
anime, with a great story and characters, but it just isn't the same   
without the giant robots. ^_^  
  
I hate having to do this to you, but there's going to be a delay in   
between now and the posting of the next part. I'll wager a guess and   
say two or three weeks. This part was more of a rush job than it   
might seem, and I ended up going too quickly for my prereaders.  
  
As a note, thank you to my prereaders for putting up with me. The   
Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and Tito Ghio are all to thank for   
the story coming as far as it has.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: April 8, 2001  
Ended: April 21, 2001  
  
Send mail to: otakusadist@hotmail.com  
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei  
  



	4. Asuka's Story

DISCLAIMER: The characters, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis Evangelion   
are not mine. I make no claim to them. They are used without   
permission.  
  
Foreword: This is a side story. It's not critically important to the   
actual fic, but it should help explain a few things you're probably   
wondering about (when did Asuka become nicer, and what happened to the   
giant Rei head, for example).  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Side Story 1: Asuka's Story  
  
Asuka shivered as the biomechanoid came to life. Luckily for her, she   
was already asleep, and so wasn't bothered.  
  
Not consciously, anyway.  
  
Probably as a result of too much booze, along with the awakening MP   
Eva, Asuka's sleepy mind was shocked back into a memory buried in her   
subconscious. She began to dream.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, I know you!" the strange blue-haired girl was shouting. "You're   
the pervert who was looking at my panties!"  
  
Asuka jumped to her feet. "And what do you mean by that? Why're you   
picking on him?"  
  
"What's up with you? Are you two doing it?" the other girl asked.  
  
Asuka stammered incoherently, succeeding only in getting very mad.  
  
"Hey, calm down!" Hikari was shouting, trying to stop this before it   
got violent. "This isn't a bar!"  
  
"Oh, let it go on," Misato said, lounging in her chair. "This is more   
interesting than the lesson, anyway."  
  
The class laughed. Asuka and Shinji both blushed. After a moment,   
the girl...what was her name?...Rei something...whoever-she-was   
figured out it had gone on a little too far. She took a breath,   
forcing herself to calm down.  
  
"Just don't do it again," Rei said. She tried to sound polite, though   
that was difficult to do, saying it through clenched teeth.  
  
Asuka sat down, still fuming, but not wanting to say anything, since   
that would just draw more attention of the wrong kind. She was   
probably going to end up carrying buckets for this...  
  
* * *  
  
The rest of the day somehow passed without much incident. The new   
girl quickly became popular among the other girls, proving to be   
outgoing and quite friendly once you got to know her. This, of   
course, pulled attention off of Asuka, something the German girl hated   
to see happen.  
  
But oddly enough, even though Asuka hated to lose attention like this,   
she was at the same time excited to be seeing this happen. Before   
today, she hadn't had any competition for being the most popular girl   
in school. Now she did. And there was nothing like a little   
competition to get Asuka's blood going.  
  
While she was walking back home with Shinji, she was plotting what   
she'd do tomorrow to try taking back some of the limelight. The boy   
saw the malicious grin spreading across Asuka's face, and was vaguely   
frightened. He didn't know what it meant.  
  
"Er...sorry about this morning..." he said, hesitantly.  
  
Asuka's blue eyes flickered over to Shinji, who flinched as the girl's   
full attention switched over to him. ^Okay, I might have lost the   
popularity contest for today,^ Asuka thought, ^but I can still get   
some fun out of Shinji, here.^  
  
"Well, you should be!" Asuka shot back at him, prodding him with words   
to try and get a rise out of him. "Eyeing a defenseless young girl   
like that! I swear, all boys are perverts."  
  
"B-but it was just an accident!"  
  
"Hah! Well, I better not be seeing you doing that to _me_," she said   
haughtily.  
  
"O-okay, Asuka. I'll never do that. I don't even want to."  
  
"And what do you mean by _that?!_" Asuka shouted back, shifting gears   
entirely. "You mean I'm not even worth it?"  
  
Shinji, now thoroughly confused, could only look at the ground and   
mumble apologetically.  
  
Asuka smiled to herself. ^One day,^ she thought. ^One day, he   
_might_ actually respond. That might be fun...^  
  
Her mood was much better now. It stayed that way as she left Shinji   
at the Ikari apartment. She was still quite contented with herself   
when she made it to her house.  
  
"I'm home!" Asuka called out as she stepped through the door.  
  
"Oh, hello Asuka," a voice called out from the kitchen. "How was your   
day?"  
  
"It was okay, mom," she said, stepping out of her shoes. She walked   
past the kitchen, where Zepplin Soryu could be seen making something   
for dinner. Asuka's mouth started to water at the smell.  
  
Smiling still, Asuka walked across the living room, dropping her   
school bag on the couch. She stepped down the hallway, taking the   
ribbon off of her school uniform and already deciding what clothes she   
should change into for the afternoon. She threw open the door to her   
room...  
  
...and saw a human body hanging from the ceiling.  
  
Asuka blinked, not believing it at first. She gasped sharply,   
stepping back.  
  
"M...mom...?" she called out, weakly.  
  
The body rotated slowly, the rope around its neck slowly twisting.   
Asuka, sickened and frozen to the floor, could only watch as the dead   
face of her mother looked back at her.  
  
Asuka screamed. She stepped backwards again, only to be stopped as   
she hit a wall. She screamed again, covering her eyes with her hands   
so she didn't have to look.  
  
Then, all of a sudden...something changed. She felt the very _air_   
shift around her. Shuddering and trying hard not to throw up, she   
opened her eyes, carefully looking up.  
  
It looked like she was underwater. But she was still breathing...when   
had this happened?  
  
"So your mind rejected it," came a calm voice from off to her side.   
Asuka turned her head, looking in the direction of the voice. There,   
standing quietly with her arms crossed behind her back, was that blue-  
haired girl. But although she looked the same, she didn't..._feel_   
the same. This girl gave off an aura of coldness and uncaring, and   
those eyes stared at Asuka with inhuman intensity.  
  
Asuka got to her feet. "What did you _do_ to me, Wondergirl?" she   
asked, trying to work up some anger. She didn't know where that   
nickname had come from, but she didn't care. If she could just get   
angry, maybe she could flush that image of her mother hanging from her   
mind...  
  
"I did nothing," Rei replied, quietly. Only her lips moved; she   
didn't even appear to be shifting her balance like a normal human   
would. "Your mind created your version of utopia, and then rejected   
it."  
  
"What?" Asuka asked. Rei just stared back at her.  
  
Then, with a suddenness that made the girl lose her balance, Asuka's   
memories returned. She held her head, crying out in pain as she fell   
to her knees.  
  
"No!" she cried out. "Mama! Mama, don't leave me! Don't..."  
  
She got a hold of herself, gasping for breath again. She again became   
aware that the environment had changed. She opened her eyes, seeing   
that she was now waist-deep in water. She was also wearing a bright   
red, skintight bodysuit. What was it called? A plugsuit...  
  
"You chose to reject false pleasure," Rei said. The girl was still in   
a standing position, somehow standing on the surface of the water, as   
though not bothering herself with trivial things like the laws of   
physics.  
  
"No..." Asuka said, glaring back at Rei. "_You_ did something! It's   
_your_ fault, you damn _doll!_"  
  
She lunged at Rei, though the deep water made that rather difficult.   
She still made it to the girl and threw a punch...  
  
...only to watch as her fist passed right through Rei, as though the   
girl were made of nothing but mist.  
  
"I may have caused Third Impact," Rei responded, apparently not even   
paying attention to what Asuka was doing. "...but it was unavoidable   
by that point. Someone had to control the outcome, and I chose that   
it would be Ikari-kun."  
  
"What the..." Asuka muttered, looking at her fist. Fist + flesh =   
punch, right? It shouldn't just go right _through_ the target...and   
what had Rei just said? She caused _Third_Impact?!_  
  
"Your body has been reduced to its primordial components," Rei said.   
"And your mind was incorporated into the rest of humanity's. But like   
Ikari-kun, you've rejected it."  
  
Asuka blinked, trying to understand what Rei was saying.  
  
"You now have a choice," Rei said. "This is a critical time...I doubt   
the rest of humanity will have this kind of opportunity. You can   
choose to return to your perfect world, or you can go back to the   
world as it is."  
  
"As it is..." Asuka thought. She remembered the world as it had been,   
all right. What had she been doing? She'd just found her mama...and   
then...  
  
Asuka's eyes focused on something invisible in the distance. The next   
moment, she cried out, falling to her knees as she felt her left eye   
explode into pain. It felt like she'd just been stabbed! But, there   
hadn't been anything to stab her...  
  
"You remember," Rei commented, watching blood flow around Asuka's   
fingers. Asuka barely heard her; her mind was scrambled from the   
pain. Asuka's right arm stiffened, then reached out into the air.   
Asuka shakily turned her head, watching with her good eye.  
  
Asuka screamed in absolute agony as her right arm was split in half   
the long way. She clutched at the ruined limb, as blood poured out of   
her and stained the water she was standing in.  
  
Finally, Asuka choked, spitting up blood as she felt her torso   
punctured in over a dozen places, as though long knives had just been   
rammed completely through her body. She collapsed into a twitching   
heap of pain and suffering.  
  
"Your mind was one with the Eva when it was killed," Rei said, walking   
up to Asuka. "You are remembering its pain, not your own."  
  
The girl took Asuka by her legs and shoulders, lifting her up out of   
the bloody water and placing her on an invisible ledge.  
  
"Mama..." Asuka whimpered out. "Mama, help me..."  
  
"I will try," Rei replied. Asuka looked up as she felt the pain in   
her body lessen. She opened her eyes as she felt some pressure being   
applied to her head.  
  
Rei had just placed a wadded bandage over Asuka's left eye. Asuka   
looked down, to see her arm had been bandaged, too. Judging from the   
lack of pain, there was probably a similar treatment to her torso,   
only hidden underneath the plugsuit. How Rei gotten there without   
Asuka noticing was beyond the German girl's knowledge, but she didn't   
care.  
  
"...thanks," Asuka said, grudgingly. She looked away from the red-eyed girl.  
  
"As the new Lillith, mother of all things, it was my responsibility.   
Now Soryu, do you wish to return to this? Or would you like to go   
back to what you were?"  
  
Asuka said nothing. She only sighed, thinking it over. She'd really   
been happy back in that other world, and going back only meant pain.  
  
But...  
  
"Soryu...I would like to ask that you return."  
  
Asuka looked up, this having been the first time she'd ever heard Rei   
ask for _anything_. "What?" she asked.  
  
"I ask that you return," Rei repeated. "Ikari-kun was faced with the   
same choice you were, and he chose to leave the fantasy in favor of   
the reality. I will honor his choice, and I know that other people   
will have the capacity to go back as well, but you are the first to   
reach this point."  
  
"Why is it important that I go back?" Asuka asked, rubbing at her arm.   
It still hurt like hell, but it wasn't paralyzing, anymore.  
  
"Because in choosing to return, Ikari-kun returned to a life where he   
is completely alone. No one else has gone back yet."  
  
"That idiot _wants_ to be alone," Asuka said, turning away. "Why   
should I give up happiness for him?"  
  
"Because he does not want to be alone," Rei said. "He wants   
acceptance and affection. Just like you do."  
  
Asuka turned around, intending to disagree. But looking into Rei's   
intense eyes, she knew arguing would be useless. And it would be a   
lie to say she wasn't like that, anyway.  
  
"You were someone he admired," Rei said, her voice still dead calm.   
"He may find the will to go on if he has someone to confide in and   
rely on."  
  
"I'm no one's shoulder to cry on," Asuka said.  
  
"You both need someone to rely on," Rei replied. "Such is the way of   
things, when you choose to have individuality."  
  
Asuka looked away again. "Why don't _you_ go back to him, then?" she   
asked. She'd meant to sound angry, but her voice actually sounded   
calm, now.  
  
"I...cannot," Rei said. "My body was utterly destroyed. All I have   
now is my soul," she said. "You _are_ able to return, however."  
  
Asuka turned away. "That baka..." she said, clenching her good fist.   
She _wanted_ to ditch his sorry spineless ass. She wanted to leave   
him behind to rot. She wanted to forget Shinji Ikari had ever   
existed.  
  
Or, at least, that was what she was trying to convince herself of.  
  
Asuka took a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing her eyes.   
"All right," she said. "I'll do it." She turned back to face Rei.   
"I'll do it. But not because _you_ asked me to, Wondergirl."  
  
"Very well," Rei said. She closed her eyes.  
  
Asuka blinked as the world shifted around them once more. Now they   
were both standing on the surface of water. Only it wasn't water...it   
was LCL.  
  
Shinji was sitting not far from them. Asuka could see her body lying   
there next to him. It was an odd experience, looking at herself like   
that.   
  
Shinji looked back to them. His face looked haggard and only barely   
sane. But his eyes flickered with recognition.  
  
"He can see us?" Asuka whispered to Rei.  
  
"He sees what he wishes to see," Rei said. Shinji looked away from   
them, and down to Asuka's body.   
  
"Come, this way." She grabbed Asuka's hand and took a step towards   
Shinji.  
  
In an instant, Asuka's point of view changed. Now she was looking up,   
at Shinji's face close-up. His hands were...around her neck? What   
was he trying to do? And why couldn't she feel anything?  
  
^I ask that you be gentle to Ikari-kun,^ Rei's voice sounded in   
Asuka's mind. ^He is strong and will recover, but only if he has   
someone he can rely on.^  
  
Asuka watched as her arm came up, apparently of its own accord. It   
gently touched Shinji's face, caressing him.  
  
^Are you doing this?^ Asuka asked, only able to think of how weird   
this was.  
  
^Yes,^ Rei's voice responded, simply. ^I only want to make sure   
Ikari-kun doesn't do something he will later regret.^  
  
Shinji let go of Asuka's neck, and turned away, crying like a baby.   
Asuka watched her arm drop back to the ground.  
  
^I...need to go, now,^ Rei said. ^My responsibility lies with the sea   
of LCL.^  
  
Asuka felt Rei's presence start to leave her mind. ^A...Ayanami?^ she   
asked.  
  
There was no response for a moment. Then, Rei's voice sounded again.   
^Yes?^ she asked, polite as ever.  
  
^Th...thank you...Ayanami.^  
  
There was another long pause, so long that Asuka was sure Rei had   
left. But the girl's voice came, one last time.  
  
^You are welcome, Soryu. Please take care of Ikari-kun.^  
  
And like that, she was gone. Also, just like that, Asuka snapped back   
to reality. She became aware of the ground underneath her, and the   
cold air around her. Her eye and hand hurt, badly, but it was   
bearable. She also noticed she was looking at Shinji.  
  
"I feel sick," she said, speaking her mind for the sole sake of   
hearing her own voice. ^Good, so I haven't lost that.^  
  
She slowly sat up, though the exertion made her dizzy, as though she   
hadn't exercised in years. Her vision blurred suddenly. ^Jeez, am I   
_that_ out of shape?^ she asked herself.  
  
It's said that the eyes are the windows of the soul. What Asuka   
didn't know was that, for a few short moments, her eyes had been   
colored a mix of blue and red, forming an almost perfect brown. But   
that had only been while Rei had been accompanying her. Now, as her   
vision cleared, her eyes shifted colors, going back to their old   
brilliant blue.   
  
She blinked, looking around. It was hard, looking through just one   
eye. On impulse, she reached up, grabbed at the bandage over her left   
eye, and tugged. It pulled away rather easily. She looked down,   
seeing a smear of blood on it. But as she closed her right eye, she   
quickly became aware that her left eye was still working fine.  
  
She looked up, at the horizon. Her eyes widened. There, on the   
horizon, was half of a head. Only it was _enormous_. To be that far   
away, and still have so much detail visible...if that thing had ever   
been connected to a body, the creature must have been mind-bogglingly   
huge.  
  
It was also unmistakably Rei's head that was out there.  
  
"Wonder Gi...Ayanami..." Asuka whispered, getting to her feet. "I   
guess you _meant_ it to say your body was destroyed."  
  
In this time, Shinji had managed to partially pull himself together.   
He looked up at Asuka, his face desperate.  
  
"It's all right," Asuka said, looking down at him. "I'm still alive.   
I..." she trailed off, looking back to the head on the horizon.   
Shinji followed her gaze, trying to see what was happening.  
  
The head was falling apart. It had apparently decided to start   
following the laws of physics, and was now collapsing in under its own   
weight. The head imploded, the huge red eyeball falling out and into   
the LCL. Then, as the horrified children watched, the head melted,   
dissolving into the LCL that surrounded it.  
  
Asuka immediately turned, fell to her knees, and got violently sick on   
the ground. Shinji followed suit a moment later.  
  
They were only able to stop after several minutes, collapsing onto   
their backs and looking to the sky, trying to keep themselves   
collected. Both of them felt tears starting to stream down their   
faces.  
  
It was just too much...too much for them to handle all at once.   
Asuka's mind searched wildly for something to distract it from the   
abomination it had just witnessed.  
  
"So now what?" Asuka asked, not looking over at Shinji. She was   
answered with just a pathetic groan.  
  
"You can do better than tha..." Asuka tried to say, but stopped   
herself. ^Stop it,^ she chided herself. ^This isn't the time.^ She   
turned her head to look at him, to see him shivering on the ground.  
  
Quietly, Asuka reached over and touched him. Shinji groaned pitifully   
and rolled away. Asuka reached over further and touched him again.   
"It's okay..." she said. "It's over, I guess..."  
  
Shinji let out a breath that made his whole body shudder. "The   
city," he said.  
  
"Hm?" Asuka asked.  
  
"The city." He rolled over, looking back to her. He still looked   
quite haggard, but a bit more sane that he'd been a moment ago.   
"You...asked me what now. I think there's a city nearby..." he said,   
looking up.  
  
Asuka glanced over her shoulder, to see the ruins of Tokyo-2 in the   
background. "I guess..." she said. ^God, what _are_ we supposed to   
do now?^  
  
She got up, then helped Shinji to his feet. "Let's at least get   
walking," Asuka suggested, leading him forwards. Shinji complied,   
looking at the ground. But after a moment, he looked back up, setting   
his jaw.  
  
"Yes," he said, trying to keep control over himself. "Let's get   
going. We can't just break down...no more running away." The last   
part was said more to himself than anyone else. He sounded like he   
was going to need a _lot_ of convincing before he started beliving it   
himself.  
  
Asuka followed closely. ^Well, thanks, Ayanami,^ she thought. ^But   
damn...what a job I've got ahead of me.^  
  
She straightend herself out. Even if Shinji hadn't really believed   
himself, it definitely was _not_ time to just give up. It sounded   
like other people would be coming back...they just had to be ready.  
  
And unti then...they'd get by.  
  
She hoped.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: These memories are deeply buried in Asuka's mind, so she   
normally wouldn't remember them. That's why it never came up before.  
  
As for what Rei might remember...that's something for the next chapter   
to handle.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: April 17, 2001  
Ended: April 18, 2001  
  
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com  
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei 


	5. 

Hello, interested reader.

The whole purpose of this message is to place an ad, basically. If you're a fan artist, keep reading.

With "Angels of Armageddon," I'm trying to find some decent pictures to go with the chapters. However, this means sifting through hundreds of useless pictures just to find a halfway-decent one. I thought I'd see if anyone's interested in making something original for the fic.

I'll listen to anyone who's interested, but my standards are going to be rather high. I'm looking for someone who has artistic talent (of course), but also someone who can make a deadline. If you think you're up to snuff, write me at [otakusadist@hotmail.com][1]. 

In addition, include a sample of your work. See if you can draw an MP Eva. Why? because there aren't that many really good pictures of MP Evas, and I'd like to have one for the next chapter.

Thank you, Avatar of Dragonia, for suggesting this idea (and I know you're reading this message, too).

   [1]: mailto:otakusadist@hotmail.com



	6. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: The characters, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis Evangelion   
are not mine. I make no claim to them. They are used without   
permission.  
  
Foreword: Thanks for keeping up with the fic so far. Be warned:   
there's some excessive violence in one scene, here.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics (emphasis)  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 4: Death Rides on Angels' Wings  
  
It moved quickly, cutting effortlessly through the sky. Its wings   
carried it well. It was obviously unfamiliar with its current   
physical form, but it was learning quickly.   
  
There had originally been some other...presence, a mind in control of   
the body it was in. But that mind had proven to be very submissive.   
It had stood by passively while the current controller of the body   
took command. It was doubtful that that other presence was even   
necessary, anymore.  
  
Soon, very soon, it would be able to put this form to good use.  
  
Because it could sense something not far from where it had awoken.   
Something equally large and powerful, only in the service of the   
Lillum.  
  
Lillum. The inferior beings. The creatures that copied from that   
which they only barely understood, as long as it meant continuing their   
pitiful little lives. The name evoked a rage in the thing's heart.   
That in itself was odd, since the thing had never before been able to   
feel _anything_, let alone something as strong as rage. But it somehow   
knew that that was the emotion it felt. Apparently, the events of   
Third Impact had affected the thing, just as they had also affected the   
Lillum. That realization just made the new feeling of rage grow.  
  
The MP Eva snarled with pent-up emotion and swept its wings back,   
accelerating in an effort to reach its destination more quickly.  
  
* * *  
  
Asuka groaned and rolled over as her unwelcome dream finally came to   
an end. Her eyes fluttered open, giving her an up-close view of the   
dirt ground. She groaned again and rolled over. After a moment to   
gather up some motivation, she sat up, stiffly.  
  
She flexed her right arm. It was feeling sore this morning. It had   
felt sore a few times before, so she thought nothing of it. ^What was   
I dreaming about, again?^ she asked herself. She tried to remember,   
but, like most dreams, all memory of it had already evaporated.  
  
She felt dizzy and sick. The whole concept of getting out of bed made   
her want to retch, right now. ^Baka,^ she chided herself. ^You knew   
drinking wouldn't get you anywhere. Did I at least loosen up around   
Ayanami? Damn, I can't remember...^  
  
She held her head and lay back down on the blanket, staring upwards at   
the rough surface of the rock that served as a ceiling. Best just to   
let the hangover pass. Maybe she could go back to sleep for a   
while...  
  
Thoughts of sleep got her thinking about dreams, again. She couldn't   
remember the dream she'd just had, but she was certain it had been   
very sad, and frightening, too. Well, nightmares happened once in a   
while. Nothing to worry about, not when there was already so many   
other things to worry about in the waking world.  
  
But, oddly enough, she could remember the dream she'd had _before_ the   
last one. Something about Shinji...what had it been? She'd heard his   
voice...oh, yes, he'd been talking with Ayanami. About what?  
  
^Talking about me and him,^ she answered herself. ^And Ayanami...she   
changed the subject real quick, when he said something about us. Like   
she didn't want to hear what she was hearing.^   
  
She also remembered the tone of Rei's voice. It had been subtle,   
_very_ subtle. But Asuka had managed to pick it up. Ayanami, though   
she'd been doing a good job of hiding it, had been sounded sad.  
  
The signs were all there. You just had to take notice. Asuka _had_   
taken notice, and she knew what they meant...  
  
She smiled to herself. ^Damn, I have crazy dreams,^ she thought.   
^Ayanami having a thing for Shinji? Yeah, right.^  
  
She rolled over and closed her eyes, deciding it would be a good idea   
to just wait the hangover out. Maybe she could see that last dream   
again...and try to _remember_ it this time...  
  
* * *  
  
Later that morning, Shinji was talking with Kaoru. Shinji was still a   
little nervous in the presence of the former Angel, but he fought it   
down. Kaoru was still his friend, no matter what.  
  
"So, what is it you wanted me to see?" Kaoru asked, squinting in the   
early morning sun.  
  
Shinji pointed off into the distance, towards Tokyo-2. "Right   
there," he said. "I think we might be able to use the Eva for   
something worthwhile."  
  
"Such as?" Kaoru asked, glancing back at the other boy. "There's not   
much left of the city."  
  
"Yes, but there are a _few_ things left. Currently, we need   
everything we can find. But we're all too scared to go in, because   
any of those buildings could fall over if you so much as _look_ at   
them funny. But I was thinking this morning...that an Eva wouldn't   
have that trouble."  
  
"Now, you understand the Eva's not as strong as you may be used to,"   
Kaoru warned. "I only just barely make it produce an AT field - "  
  
"It's better than nothing," Shinji said, hope filling his voice. "It   
doesn't need to sit through a nuclear blast. The armor alone on Unit-  
00 should be enough."  
  
"Have you checked with Ritsuko-san on this?"  
  
"Well...I was planning to, eventually. But I know how tough Evas are."  
  
"Yes, I guess you would. All right, I'll try talking to Rei about it.   
She'll probably agree."  
  
"All right."  
  
Shinji looked back to the city, smiling in anticipation. There had to   
be _something_ there that had survived the explosion. Something they   
could use. Why hadn't he thought of this earlier?  
  
They stood there in silence for another few minutes, listening to the   
people begin waking up behind them and feeling the wind blow through   
their hair.  
  
"How's...how's Ayanami doing, anyway?" Shinji asked.  
  
Kaoru paused before replying. "She was fine this morning. Why do you   
ask?"  
  
"Not sure," Shinji replied evasively. "She just seemed a little   
different last night. She actually seemed interested in talking to   
me."  
  
"Hm," Kaoru replied, understanding. "Well, that's permitted."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
Kaoru glanced over at his old friend. He could see the uncertaintly   
lurking in Shinji's expression.   
  
"You once told me she frightened you, at times," Kaoru started,   
casually. "Does she still do that?"  
  
Shinji remained silent. After a while, he turned his gaze down to the   
ground, becoming interested in the dirt at his feet.  
  
"Hm," Kaoru said again, sitting down on the ground. "You didn't seem   
to have any trouble talking with her, Shinji-kun."  
  
"I was drunk," Shinji explained, looking back up. Noticing Kaoru had   
taken a seat, he sat down, as well, stretching his legs out in front   
of him and leaning back on his hands.   
  
"Ayamami's just..." he tried to begin. He stopped there, though, and   
looked up at the sky, as though it could help him choose his words.  
  
"It's just...seeing her again, is like seeing an old friend...but an   
enemy at the same time. I can't help it, it's just that when I look   
at her, I can't help thinking about...you know, _it_, when it   
happened."  
  
Kaoru nodded knowingly. He knew Shinji was talking about Third   
Impact. He'd had a chance to see, actually. He'd seen Unit-01, just   
before it had finally been absorbed.  
  
^He probably thinks the same things about me,^ he thought. ^He just   
doesn't want to say it to my face.^  
  
Shinji shivered. "And I can't get that off of my mind. I can make   
myself talk to her, I guess. It was easy enough last night, because   
then she was acting more like an ordinary person. But, when I see her   
out by the Eva..."  
  
Kaoru nodded again, not wanting to say anything. He could tell Shinji   
had a few things to get off of his chest.  
  
"It's like she's not quite human. It's kind of disturbing to think   
that, even when I know it's true. Even _knowing_ she's a clone, and   
that's she's part Angel, I still can't get over it. Because she still   
looks so human, so..."  
  
"...so much like your mother?" Kaoru finished.  
  
Shinji turned his head sharply, glaring at his friend. "I know what   
she looks like, Kaoru," he said. "But Ayanami's not my mother. My   
father might have tried deluding himself into thinking that she was,   
but I _won't_."  
  
"Sorry," Kaoru said immediately, apologizing for one of the few times   
in his life. He could tell Shinji was being genuine, with these   
comments.  
  
"My mother's gone," Shinji said, more to himself than to anyone else.   
"And I refuse to act like my father towards Ayanami..."  
  
They sat there, saying nothing, for several more minutes. Sounds of   
people waking up and starting their morning activities filled the air,   
but it still felt disturbingly quiet between the two boys. Kaoru   
finally concluded that Shinji had nothing more to say, at least not   
for now.  
  
"Well, then, if that's all..." Kaoru said, getting up.  
  
Shinji looked over at the other boy. "Kaoru-kun...don't tell Ayanami   
what I said." His voice was softer, much calmer than it had been with   
his last comment.  
  
Kaoru looked back at Shinji for a long moment, saying nothing.   
Finally, he nodded and walked off. Shinji watched him go, then turned   
back to watching the city. The same uneasy silence fell back down on   
the boy.  
  
^Ayanami...yes, she _does_ look like my mother. Even more so, now.   
Father, why'd you have to do that to her? It's like she can never be   
her own person.^  
  
He shifted position, turning to look out to the sea of LCL. ^Two   
years ago...yeah, I remember what I saw. Ayanami's head in the sea,   
there. Glad it fell apart, though...don't think I could've taken   
looking at it every day.  
  
^Seems like every time I see her, Ayanami's different. After she   
destroyed her Eva to stop that one Angel, she was cold and distant,   
even moreso than usual. But now...I think she wants a friend. I just   
can't tell, with her. Maybe I should talk to her...^  
  
At that thought, he unconsciously turned his head towards Rei and   
Kaoru's home. He couldn't miss seeing the form of Unit-00 waiting   
outside of it. At the sight of the Eva, he shuddered unconsciously.  
  
^Or maybe I could wait for her to come talk to me again. She did it   
once, so she could do it again, right?^   
  
"Mornin'," came a groggy voice from behind him, shattering his train   
of thought. Shinji turned around to see Asuka stumbling up, holding   
her forehead with one hand. He shook his head, a smile breaking out   
over his face.  
  
"I'd ask how you were feeling, but I can pretty much guess," Shinji   
said, walking up to her and giving her a hug.  
  
Asuka relaxed in his arms, then nodded. "Yup," she said. She then   
muttered a few things in German, basically saying, "I feel like   
crap." Shinji couldn't understand the language, but he could pretty   
much guess what she was saying from the tone of her voice.  
  
After they released each other, Shinji took her over to the camp and   
sat her down on the ground. Then he went to get some water, which he   
knew from experience from Misato would probably help. When he got   
back, Asuka took a cup of the stuff and started drinking, hoping it   
would clear her head. Shinji quietly sat down next to her.  
  
"So remind me..." Asuka said, after her first long sip. "What   
happened last night, exactly?"  
  
Shinji sighed, quietly. "Well, after you fell asleep, me and Ayanami   
carried you back here."  
  
Asuka blushed a little. "Must've been embarassing."  
  
Shinji shrugged. "Not much. Ayanami's, well...I think she was all   
right with it."  
  
"OK. So then let me guess...Rei got bored and left after that?" Asuka   
asked, taking another drink.  
  
"Actually, no. She stayed outside and talked with me for a while."  
  
Asuka's mind, still clouded, didn't register the response immediately.   
But when she _did_ realize what she'd heard, she choked and   
spluttered, getting the not-so-desirable sensation of water going up   
her nose.  
  
"What was that all about?" Shinji asked, giving her a worried look.  
  
"Just too much at once," Asuka said quickly, covering for herself.   
"What'd you talk about?"  
  
"Ah, not much," Shinji replied, turning to look back at the city in   
the distance. "She just asked me a few questions about you, asking   
when we got together."  
  
Asuka's eyes narrowed. "Really?" she asked.  
  
"Uh huh. I think she's just feeling lonely." He laughed. "Maybe   
she's met someone, and wants pointers on how to get to know him."  
  
"...I'll bet," Asuka replied, slowly.   
  
So...maybe it _hadn't_ been a dream. She'd have to look into this.  
  
Asuka slowly sipped her drink, thinking. ^Ayanami wouldn't...nah,   
it's crazy. But then again, I _do_ have to try giving her a chance.   
This is as good an excuse as any to talk to her, I guess.^  
  
At some point while she was lost in her thoughts, Shinji brought her   
something that passed for breakfast. When he tapped her shoulder to   
get her attention, she jumped, only now noticing he'd brought food.  
  
"Oh...thanks," she said, absentmindedly. She started eating, slowly,   
quickly getting lost in her thoughts again.  
  
"Something wrong, Asuka?" Shinji asked, noticing the girl's distracted   
manner.  
  
Asuka was again snapped back to the real world. "Huh? Oh, no,   
there's nothing wrong. Just thinking."  
  
"Oh," Shinji said, unconvinced.  
  
A thought hit Asuka at that moment. She figured she might as well   
take advantage of it. "Shinji...when you were talking to Rei, did she   
ask you a certain question?"  
  
Shinji looked at her, confused, before it clicked in his mind.   
Embarassed, he looked to the ground. "Uh...what kind?"  
  
"Did she ask you if you loved me?" Asuka asked, getting straight to   
the point. ^Sorry, Shinji, but I just gotta push you once in a while.^  
  
"Uh...yeah. Yes, she did."  
  
"And..."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And what did you say?"  
  
Shinji took a moment to collect himself. "I said yes," he replied,   
managing to keep himself from stumbling over the words. "And I meant   
it, you know."  
  
Asuka said nothing. She carefully put down what she'd been eating,   
then turned back towards Shinji. She crawled over the short distance   
between them, and looked into his eyes as though searching for   
something. Concerned with what she saw, she leaned forwards the last   
few centimeters and put her lips on his.  
  
She felt Shinji respond immediately, moving his arms around her waist.   
She felt her cheeks heating up, despite herself. Apparently   
satisfied, she pulled back, even though it had just been getting   
interesting.  
  
"Not so early in the morning, baka," she said, tapping him on the   
chest with her fist.  
  
"But..." Shinji was about to say that _she_ had started it, but   
figured it wasn't worth an argument this early.  
  
Asuka turned and resumed her previous seat, going back to eating. ^No   
reason to worry,^ she thought, now reassured of her standing with   
Shinji.  
  
Shinji coughed and tried to get rid of the blush that had spread   
through his own cheeks. "So...anyway, today I was going to ask Kaoru-  
kun to take the Eva through the city, and see if there's anything   
worthwhile left there."  
  
^Great, loud noises,^ Asuka thought, massaging her temples. ^Hope   
I've recovered by then.^  
  
"Not a bad idea," she said in reply, glancing over at the city.   
Another thought hit her. "Will...Rei be there, too?"  
  
"Probably. I'm sure she'll want to keep tabs on the Eva."  
  
Asuka nodded. She took another sip of the water, trying to calm   
herself. ^Maybe I'll get a chance to get things sorted out with her,   
then,^ she thought.  
  
* * *  
  
It was a standard peaceful day outside of what remained of Tokyo-2.   
Peaceful, that is, because there weren't any people around. The   
buildings that were still standing were long abandoned. Their walls   
were discolored and darkened with all manner of molds, slowly eating   
at the remaining rock. There wasn't a single pane of glass that   
hadn't been cracked or shattered. The buildings themselves sagged,   
leaned, and otherwise sat in odd positions for what were supposed to   
be sturdy edifices. Through it all, the only noise was an occasional   
breeze, whistling through the buildings on its way over the land.   
Yes, Tokyo-2 was truly peaceful, now that there weren't any people   
there.  
  
But that would not be the case forever.  
  
A bird landed on the ground and started picking around, looking for   
things to use to build its nest. It felt a tremor ripple through the   
earth, but didn't notice. More tremors followed, in a rhythmic   
beating, and the bird still ignored them.  
  
Finally, the bird looked up, chirped loudly at what it saw, and flew   
away at top speed.  
  
A second later, an enormous armored foot crashed down right where the   
bird had been, sending a small quake through the earth and leaving an   
enormous footprint. Another foot followed soon after, as the huge   
machine kept moving.  
  
Rei sat on the Eva's shoulder as it lumbered towards the city. Kaoru   
stood on the other shoulder, steadying himself with a handhold on the   
Eva's head. Behind them, a small group of people was following on   
foot. That group was the recovery crew, composed solely of   
volunteers. Among the group were Shinji and Asuka, there to provide   
leadership and support if nothing else. Kensuke was also present, not   
wanting to miss out on any possible salvage.  
  
Rei wasn't paying attention to any of this, though. She was lost in   
her thoughts. For some reason this morning, she'd begun to remember   
some of the things she'd forgotten while she'd been liquefied with the   
rest of humanity. She'd begun to remember what had happened during   
Third Impact. Not all of it, though; she doubted her consciousness   
could split that many ways anymore.  
  
But she _could_ more clearly recall the last conversation she'd had   
with Soryu. ^So...did I _ask_ her to return to the world? I may   
have. Because I was...I was...worried about Ikari-kun. He couldn't   
have survived long when he was alone. I understood that much about   
him.^  
  
She shifted around, turning and leaning on where the Eva's shoulder   
began to rise up into its neck. Staring at the terrain moving past,   
she kept thinking.  
  
^I knew I couldn't go back. At least I...didn't think that I could.   
So I looked for a surrogate.^ She closed her eyes, mentally kicking   
herself. ^Perhaps it would've been better to choose someone else.   
But did I know I felt this way about Ikari-kun? I don't know. I   
cared enough about him that I didn't want him to suffer, but is   
that...love? Is what I feel _now_ love? I sounded fairly confident   
when I answered Kaoru-san, but I'm still not sure. Perhaps...perhaps   
I should try talking with Ikari-kun again.^  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted as the Eva stopped short. The momentum   
of the sudden halt almost made Rei slide off the shoulder, but she   
caught herself before that could happen, grabbing onto the armor plate   
of the shoulder.  
  
The Eva's hand came up, and she jumped down into it, seeing that Kaoru   
had done the same thing in the other hand. Once they were lowered to   
the ground, the Eva started walking again, crossing into the ruins of   
Tokyo-2.  
  
"To what distance can you control it?" Rei asked.  
  
Kaoru shrugged. "Far enough. I probably shouldn't get too far away   
from it, though."  
  
Rei nodded, then watched as the Eva proceeded in. Its first steps   
sent a few of the more shaken buildings collapsing in on themselves,   
throwing clouds of plaster and dirt into the air. The rest of the   
buildings, though, proved to be more well-built. They stood steadily,   
almost seeming to watch as the mecha approached.  
  
"Alright, let's divide this up," came Shinji's voice from behind her.   
Rei didn't turn around, but her eyes still shifted over to one side,   
trying to look in his direction.  
  
"Right, right," Asuka's voice responded. "What do the buildings on   
the other side look like?"  
  
"More of the same."  
  
"Damn. I guess the Eva's starting here, though?"  
  
"We have to start somewhere," came a different voice, which Rei   
recognized as Kaoru's. The girl finally turned around. She saw the   
three teens standing in a loose triangle, with Kaoru only just now   
walking up to them.  
  
"And actually, Shinji-kun," Kaoru added on, "I had a better view than   
you did. The buildings over there look sturdier," he said, pointing   
at another sector of the city.  
  
"Figures," Asuka said, putting her hands on her hips. "I think that's   
the residential district. Gotta build those places strong, in case of   
quakes, eh?"  
  
Shinji just nodded, not knowing what else to say.  
  
"So I think it would be best if we started here," Kaoru said,   
gesturing to where the Eva was standing. "This area's more likely to   
fall down, so we should get it over with quickly."  
  
"Alright. So you, Rei and Eva are starting here?" Asuka asked,   
casually throwing in the blue-haired girl's name, just to confirm.  
  
"Yes," Kaoru said, nodding.  
  
Asuka turned towards the boy next to her. "Shinji, why don't you   
start off on the other side, then?"  
  
Shinji's brow furrowed. "But it's dangerous here, Asuka. Why don't I   
take this half - "  
  
"No, no, I'm fine," Asuka said, waving him off and putting on her best   
'I can do anything' look. "And it's not like I'm going in, anyway.   
So get going, baka," she said, grinning toothily as she shoved him off   
in the appropriate direction.  
  
By a sheer work of fate, "the appropriate direction" also happened to   
be towards Rei. The pale girl's eyes widened slightly as she saw   
Shinji stumbling towards her. He wasn't very far...if she'd been   
standing just a little closer, he'd have bumped into her. They'd have   
been right up against one another...Rei felt her pulse quicken at the   
thought.  
  
Asuka, still looking in the direction she'd pushed Shinji, noticed   
Rei's subtle reaction. Her eyes narrowed again. ^I really _do_ need   
to talk to her.^  
  
"Geez, Asuka!" Shinji called out, in a voice full of fake anger. "If   
I trip and break my leg, it's on your shoulders."  
  
Asuka just tossed her head and turned away, smiling to herself.   
Shinji waited, staring at her back. Finally, Asuka turned her head,   
looking at him out the corner of her eye.  
  
"Sorry," she bit out, though the smile she still had on kind of ruined   
the effect.  
  
Shinji shook his head, then called out to the recovery crew that had   
been following. About half of the group split off, following Shinji   
as he started off towards the residential area.   
  
Asuka watched him go. ^Baka,^ she thought to herself. ^You know he   
can handle himself.^   
  
She kept watching, though, until he'd turned and was lost to sight.   
Only then did she turn to the remaining people. A few quick commands   
got them moving.  
  
The volunteers came up to the nearest structure, which looked like it   
might have once been an office building. The Eva raised them up to   
the roof with its hands, then stood by, not moving, as they descended   
into the structure.  
  
Kaoru closed his eyes in concentration and willed the Eva's AT field   
into existence. It wasn't very strong, but it was an AT field   
nonetheless. With no small effort, he redirected the field so that it   
could help hold up the building long enough for the search crew to   
finish going through it.  
  
Rei watched, an intense look on her face. The people going in were   
taking their lives into their hands, and not because they'd been   
ordered to. They'd _wanted_ to go. ^They took control of their own   
lives,^ Rei thought. ^Something I need to better learn how to do.   
Perhaps I should talk with some of them later. If any of them   
survive, that is.^  
  
"Guten Morgen," came a voice from beside her.  
  
Rei turned around and saw Asuka walking up to her. She met the   
redhead's eyes for just a moment, giving no other reaction. Then she   
turned back to watching the recovery work.  
  
"Say, Rei...are you really doing anything important, here?"  
  
Rei glanced back at Asuka. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
Rei blinked, wondering what Asuka wanted. Finally, she nodded,   
wordlessly.  
  
Asuka cocked her head in one direction, signaling for Rei to follow   
her that way. The blue-haired girl followed obediently, not knowing -   
and not really caring - what this was about. Until last night, Soryu   
had always tried to _avoid_ her. So why talk now?  
  
Finally, Asuka stopped near one of the old buildings. This one looked   
a little more stable than some of the other ones; it probably   
presented no immediate danger of falling on them.  
  
"So...what'd you think of that little get-together last night, Rei?"   
Asuka asked, turning to look at the other girl.  
  
Rei averted her gaze, turning her head to look inside the building   
through a window.  
  
"It was a new experience," she said, calmly.  
  
Asuka fought the urge to roll her eyes at the evasive response.   
"Yeah...I guess it was. For you, I mean."  
  
Asuka started to pace, walking around aimlessly as she tried to choose   
her words. Her emotions were a swirl inside of her, ranging from   
understanding to outright rage. This was making it rather difficult   
to pick the right words for dealing with Rei.  
  
Rei, for her part, wasn't paying any attention to Asuka's internal   
struggle. She just peered inside the building, at the dusty, crumbled   
interior. There really wasn't much left...she wondered if the rest of   
the city was the same case.  
  
Something caught her eye. She stepped back, her eyes refocusing.   
There, in the fragment of glass that remained in the window, she could   
see her reflection.  
  
It was a silly thing, really. She'd seen herself plenty of times   
before Third Impact. And she'd caught glimpses of her appearance a   
few times in the past days, in puddles and other pieces of glass. But   
this was the first time she'd actually gotten the opportunity to   
really _look._  
  
She tilted her head slowly, watching the translucent image of herself   
do the same. One pale hand came up, touching her chin and slowly   
moving up, confirming that yes, that _was_ her face she was looking   
at.  
  
She'd known most of Gendo Ikari's reasons for creating her in the   
first place. Among other things, the man had wanted a child he could   
be proud of. But...he'd missed his wife so much, that he'd made his   
"daughter" in the image of his departed wife. Rei had never thought   
twice about it, especially since there hadn't been any pictures of Yui   
Ikari to compare herself to.  
  
But during Third Impact, as Gendo had dissolved into the rest of   
humanity, Rei had gotten the opportunity to see his memories. And now   
she knew what Yui Ikari had looked like.  
  
And, looking at her own reflection, just now...  
  
^I look...the resemblance is so...^  
  
Rei shook her head and looked away. ^It doesn't matter,^ she thought   
to herself. ^At least...it shouldn't. I am Rei Ayanami...and no one   
else.^  
  
"So I guess I overdid it with the sake," Asuka said, looking a little   
embarassed. Her words shifted Rei's attention back to her. The girl   
just blinked and responded as though she'd been hanging on every word.  
  
"Yes, you did."  
  
"Yeah...well, I guess I should say sorry, for you having to carry me   
back."  
  
"It was not a problem."  
  
Asuka developed a tic under one eye, but only for a moment, as she   
forced her temper back into check. ^It's hard dealing with her, you   
know that,^ she told herself. ^Just give it a chance...^  
  
"You know how they say hearing's the last thing you lose?" she asked   
Rei. "I think they're right."  
  
Rei just kept looking at her, giving no reaction, verbal or otherwise,   
to the words.  
  
"I mean...I think I can remember you and Shinji talking outside for a   
while after you'd put me down."  
  
"..."  
  
"It was...interesting, hearing you could actually sound interested in   
something, Rei."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Asuka tried not to grit her teeth at Rei's simple answers. "I think   
you sounded a little different, Rei...sad, maybe? What were you   
talking about?"  
  
"I asked Ikari-kun what he had been doing since he returned."  
  
Asuka's eyes widened at how easily Rei had been able to say that.   
^Guess she picked up a few things from Shinji's dad. She didn't   
_exactly_ lie, but didn't tell the whole truth, either.^  
  
"Yeah, well..." she slowly walked up to Rei, who met her gaze   
unblinkingly.  
  
"Rei, you should...learn what we've all learned around here. You   
should be happy with what you can get."  
  
Silence fell after that. In the background, the thunder of the Eva's   
footsteps could still be heard, but a shell of tense silence seemed to   
close up on Asuka and Rei. Red eyes met blue, an unspoken   
understanding apparently being exchanged. Or so Asuka hoped.  
  
Finally, Rei spoke. "Is that all you wanted to say, Soryu?"  
  
^Dammit, show _some_ emotion, Ayanami.^ "I just thought you might   
want to know that."  
  
Rei didn't even bother to nod in acknowledgement. She just walked   
forwards, brushing by Asuka, heading back towards the Eva.  
  
Asuka reached out as Rei walked past and grabbed the pale girl's arm.   
Rei stopped short, but didn't look at Asuka.  
  
"Rei, I'm _trying_ to be your friend, here. Could you at least give   
me a chance?"  
  
Rei turned her head, such that Asuka could see one red eye staring   
back at her.  
  
"I never said you could use my first name, Soryu."  
  
With that, Rei started walking again, breaking free of Asuka's grip,   
which had gone limp.  
  
Asuka stood there, shocked, watching Rei's back as she walked away.   
Some time after Rei had turned behind a building and disappeared from   
view, Asuka finally blinked. She balled her hands up into fists,   
shaking with surpressed anger.   
  
Then she started swearing luridly in every language she'd ever   
learned, as she took out that anger on the rocks, the ground, and   
everything else nearby that looked like it could use a good beating.  
  
^Damn you, Ayanami! Why do I even try?! Why can't you be _normal_?^  
  
* * *  
  
^She knows.^  
  
That was the only thought that was on Rei's mind as she walked back to   
where the Eva was still assisting one of the recovery crews.  
  
^She knows how I feel.^  
  
This could be a problem. Rei was not afraid of Asuka per se, but she   
knew that the German girl was one of the command figures here, and so   
it would not be a good idea to get her angry.  
  
^Especially when she and Ikari-kun are...are...^  
  
She stopped and leaned against a building's wall, turning her head to   
watch the Eva standing patiently next to the building across the   
street. A few people were already coming out the lower door. Some of   
them were carrying things they'd found inside.  
  
^So then why did I feel compelled to act that way towards Soryu? Why   
did the thought of becoming friends with her make me...angry? Yes, I   
felt angry that Soryu suggested we be friends.^  
  
Rei had always respected figures of authority. Even if they didn't   
respect her, or even hated her - which had been the case a few times   
before - Rei had never gotten angry with them. She'd never given   
them anything but their due respect. Isn't that what they deserved?  
  
^Perhaps I just remember Soryu as a pilot, a co-worker instead of a   
commander. So I would have trouble seeing her as anything else.^  
  
But Rei wasn't satisfied with that explanation. She'd never had   
trouble handling promotions before. Gendo Ikari had originally just   
been her father figure, but over time he'd become commander of a very   
powerful organization. And he'd also become her commander, after   
she'd been assigned to Eva-00. And with every promotion, Rei's   
treatment of Gendo had changed accordingly.  
  
^So if the sudden promotion to leadership status wasn't what made me   
disrespect Soryu...^  
  
The last of the search crew had left the building they'd just gone   
through. Eva-00 now stepped towards the evacuated structure. It   
brought its fist back, then punched the building's wall.  
  
The building, weakened to begin with, collapsed into a heap of rubble   
almost instantly. As Rei watched, it caved in on itself with a   
thunderous roar, raising up a cloud of dust and debris that almost   
reached Kaoru's position on the Eva's shoulder.  
  
^Destroying the building...so it's not a danger anymore,^ Rei   
reasoned. ^Destroying the past so you can rebuild in the present.^  
  
She thought about that last bit. ^Is that what Soryu is trying to do?   
I doubt we could have ever become friends before Third Impact. Yet   
now, that's exactly what she's trying to do...^  
  
Rei had been privileged enough to read Asuka's file before the German   
girl had even come to NERV, some years ago. From the psychological   
profile she'd read, it seemed the girl's whole _life_ revolved around   
her past. It was difficult for Rei to believe that a person like that   
could just "let bygones be bygones."  
  
But then again, people change...  
  
She was so wrapped up in these thoughts that she didn't notice the   
growing excitement of the people around the Eva at first. When they   
started raising their voices, however, she looked up at what they were   
doing.  
  
The people were all clustered together, all looking at something on   
the ground. Even Kaoru was trying to get through to get a better   
look. Interestested, Rei pushed away from the wall and slowly walked   
over. As she approached, a voice called out from the center of the   
group.  
  
"Geez, give me some _space_, here! There's no guarantee it'll work,   
you know!"  
  
Most of the people backed off at this, as though afraid their presence   
might now be dangerous. Others hesitated, not wanting to leave, but   
then finally took a few steps away.  
  
As they cleared, Rei got a good look at what they'd been centered on:   
Kensuke, sitting on the ground, working on some metal box. Apparently   
he'd found something interesting in what they'd collected.  
  
As Rei approached, the people who noticed her got out of the way, as   
though afraid to even _look_ at her. She didn't pay any attention to   
them. She just got up to the edge of the ring of empty space that was   
now around Kensuke, watching interested as the boy wrestled open the   
back of the metal box.  
  
"What's up?" came Asuka's voice. People got out of her way, as well,   
but less out of fear and more out of respect. The German girl showed   
none of her previous trepidation, though she made a big show of not   
looking at Rei.  
  
"Well, here's somethin' they just found," Kensuke said, continuing to   
work. "I think we lucked out, here."  
  
"Well? What is it?"  
  
"I think," - he grunted as he finally pried off the back panel,   
exposing a tangle of wires - "I think this is a bona fide radio   
transmitter, here."  
  
Asuka blinked, not quite believing her ears, at first. "What?" she   
asked, incredulous. "If you're joking, I'm gonna make sure you regret   
it, stooge."  
  
Kensuke shot her a withering glance at the nickname, but Asuka   
responded in kind, killing off whatever courage he might have had.  
  
"I'm _not_ joking," Kensuke said, leaning over and peering into the   
device. "I wouldn't joke about something like this."  
  
Asuka nodded, trying to keep herself from getting too excited. "So   
what do you need? Can it work?"  
  
"This looks like it was based on an old military model. That means   
everything's internalized. Problem is it won't have much of a range."  
  
"So _can_it_work_?" Asuka asked, looking ready to grab the boy and   
shake an answer out of him.  
  
"Battery looks good. Connections look solid. Why not give 'er a   
shot, eh?" Kensuke asked, flashing a dumb grin. He reached over and   
almost casually flicked the switch on.  
  
Static crackled from long-unused speakers. The excitement in the   
recovery team grew quickly, until it was almost tangible.  
  
Kensuke started speaking into the microphone. "This is Kensuke   
Aida," he said, "speaking from Tokyo-2. Uh...anyone out there?   
Over."  
  
Static was the only response. His brow furrowing, Kensuke reached   
over and started turning the knob to change frequencies. Slowly, he   
went up through the band of transmitter frequencies, speaking the same   
message each time, though with less hesitation.  
  
It took nearly twenty minutes of tense waiting, but he went through   
the whole band of transmission frequencies. Throughout, there hadn't   
been any response other than static.  
  
"Sorry," he said, leaning back from the piece of equipment. "It   
works, I think, but...there's just no one to hear us."  
  
Asuka didn't want to think about what that could mean. Instead, she   
just shrugged it off and turned to the now very disappointed group of   
people.  
  
"All right, people, nothing new just yet. Don't get too worked up.   
But stuff like this is why you're here, right? We'll try again in a   
little while. All we have to do is wait for someone to be in range."  
  
The men and women didn't look too excited about the prospect of going   
back to work, now. But after a little more cajoling, most of them   
turned and headed off to the next structure. Then, all of a sudden:  
  
"Hey, what's that?" one of them asked.  
  
"Eh?" Asuka asked, turning to look at him. The man who'd asked the   
question was pointing at the sky. Asuka followed that direction,   
looking to see what had grabbed the man's attention. Everyone else in   
the immediate vicinity followed suit.  
  
They saw it almost immediately: an oblong shape, with a pair of large   
lifting surfaces keeping it in the air. It was flying very high up,   
so high that it was really nothing more than a dark outline. But it   
was still something.  
  
"What...what the..." Asuka said, as the excitement began to build   
again in the recovery team. "Just hang on a sec!" she called out to   
them, trying to keep them from getting their hopes up too high again.  
  
She turned towards Kensuke. "Well?" she asked, crossing her arms.  
  
Kensuke just shrugged. "Dunno. I wasn't hearing anything on this   
end, but maybe someone was able to trace the signal."  
  
"But then how'd they get here so fast?"  
  
"I told you already, this baby's got a short range," he said, patting   
the transmitter. "If they were that high up, and _still_ close enough   
to hear us, they'd have been close enough to get here in a few   
minutes."  
  
"So, then..." Asuka said, looking back up. She quickly began to take   
part in the enthusiasm of the crowd. Kensuke, for his part, just   
started putting the back panel back on the transmitter, satisfied that   
he'd done his job. He didn't want to get excited...yet.  
  
Rei, however, was slightly more suspicious of the sudden appearance.   
She looked around, seeing that Kaoru had gotten back up onto Unit-00   
during the commotion. She walked up to Eva-00's ankle. Kaoru, who'd   
been watching the flying object with an interested look on his face,   
turned his head to watch Rei as she came up. The girl looked up to   
Kaoru, waiting to hear what he had to say.  
  
"Looks like a plane, from here," Kaoru said, yelling so Rei could hear   
him over the distance.  
  
Rei nodded, but said nothing. Apparently she saw no point in raising   
her voice over something like this.  
  
Kaoru shrugged, though he didn't know if Rei could see the motion.   
"It can probably see us," he shouted back down to her. "Or at least   
see this," he added on, glancing at the Eva's head.  
  
Rei stepped back from the Eva and looked back up into the sky. The   
flying shape, which had previously been traveling in a straight line   
overhead, was now looping around and coming over the city again. It   
was still far too high to make out any details. But as it dove, a   
thrill passed through the others. Some of them began to cheer.  
  
Rei felt a tiny glimmer of anticipation in her chest. It was true   
that Third Impact had decimated Japan, leaving only shattered ruins.   
Other, smaller explosions had begun all over the Earth at that time,   
as humanity had melted together. But the rest of the world had not   
been hit as hard as Japan. So perhaps they'd been able to recover   
more quickly. So quickly, in fact, that now they were sending out   
scouts to survey the damage to the rest of the world.  
  
This could work out very well for the people at the encampment, Rei   
reasoned. If that plane could see them, then others would know about   
the survivors here in Japan. Perhaps some aid could be sent. That   
would definitely be better than trying to live by scavenging burnt-out   
ruins.  
  
Sure enough, the shape was now growing in size. So it was descending.   
Rei felt...happy, a feeling she was still a little confused by. But   
she knew that because of this emotion, a smile was threatening to come   
to her lips. Hopefully, it had noticed them. Even if it didn't land,   
it could at least come in for a closer look, to see if there were   
indeed humans living here.  
  
The rest of the recovery team was now buzzing with activity and talk,   
as people began voicing the same thoughts Rei was thinking. The   
people glanced down at each other occasionally, but never failed to   
look back up at the sky, at the thing which could very easily be their   
savior.  
  
Rei also kept watching, along with Kaoru. Both children's eyes   
narrowed at the same time as the thing began to come into focus.  
  
Those wings looked a little...organic.  
  
And planes were definitely _not_ built with arms...  
  
"My, my..." Kaoru said, glancing over at the Eva's head. The machine   
began moving, standing up to its full height and beginning to walk,   
its first enormous stride carrying it over the recovery crew and out   
towards the edge of the city.  
  
Rei took this as her cue. She walked up to Asuka and tapped the girl   
on the shoulder. ^She _is_ an authority figure. And...Soryu is   
better at talking to others than I am.^  
  
Asuka jumped at the unexpected contact, then turned to face Rei.   
"What do you want?" she asked, meeting Rei's even gaze.  
  
"Evacuate everyone," Rei said.  
  
Asuka blinked and looked at Rei incredulously. "What? What are you   
talking about? There's no reason they can't watch."  
  
"Look again, Soryu."  
  
Asuka stared at Rei for a long moment, then looked back up. Rei   
watched as the German girl finally saw what she'd been to excited to   
notice before. Asuka went pale.  
  
"My God..." she mumbled. She then got a grip on herself and raised   
her voice. "Alright, everyone get out of here! Get back to the   
camp!"  
  
"Hey, what're you talking about?" one of the men asked. "That thing's   
just - "  
  
"_Move_it_!!!!"  
  
The men took notice of Asuka's determined, angered face, and   
immediately nodded. They all started double-timing it out of the   
city.  
  
Asuka turned around again to see what Rei had to say about this   
development. The girl knew something, Asuka was sure. Rei _always_   
seemed to know what was going on. Maybe she could answer some   
questions, starting with where in hell an MP Eva had come from.   
  
But the other girl was already gone. Asuka looked around, catching a   
glimpse of Rei jogging off in the opposite direction everyone else had   
gone, after Unit-00.  
  
"Baka," she said. She started running after the girl. ^What does she   
think she can do, anyway?^  
  
But she only got a few steps before her feet slowed. She tried to   
make herself run again, but her feet were apparently glued to the   
ground. Asuka looked up again, to see the white, winged mecha was   
even closer, now. It was now close enough that she could make out the   
grin on its face.  
  
She'd seen that grin before, on this very same mecha, and its   
brothers.  
  
Asuka tried to move, but her stomach turned with the first step. She   
fell to her knees, with both hands over her mouth. It was all she   
could do just to keep breakfast down.  
  
^I'm...useless...^  
  
Asuka's eyes widened as she thought this. ^NO! No, I'm _not_   
useless! I'm worth something. Dammit, I'm the leader, here!^  
  
She forced herself back up to her feet. After one last glance at the   
pair of Evas rapidly receding into the distance, she turned and ran   
the other way.  
  
Luckily for her, she found Kensuke not far from where she was. The   
boy was on the ground, trying to gather up the comm gear. He was   
currently muttering something to himself about having no respect for   
technology.  
  
Asuka skidded to a halt next to the boy and grabbed his shoulder,   
forcing him to turn and look at her.  
  
"What the - " the boy tried to say.  
  
"Shut up," Asuka said sharply, cutting him off. "Look, just _leave_   
that stuff, you baka. We'll come back for it later."  
  
"It might not be here later - "  
  
"Just shut _up_. Look, I'm going off to the camp. You know where   
Shinji is, right?"  
  
"Uh...uh..." - stress slowed the boy's thinking processes - "er..."  
  
Asuka resisted the urge to answer it for him. If she told Kensuke, he   
might forget. The boy knew, she was sure. To spur him on, she tapped   
her foot and gave him a look that said something much worse that what   
the Eva could do to him was going to happen if he didn't answer soon.  
  
"Yeah," he finally answered. "Other side of the city, right?" He   
pointed off in one direction, near the former residential district of   
the city.  
  
"Right," Asuka said, angry that it had taken so long for him to   
remember. "There are big buildings still standing over there..." she   
said, glancing off in the direction Kensuke was pointing in. "He   
might not've seen our friend here. Look, you go over and tell him   
what's going on. Got it?"  
  
Kensuke paused before nodding vigourously. "I'm on it," he said,   
getting to his feet and starting off.  
  
"Hey, stooge!" Asuka called out.  
  
Kensuke normally would've bristled at the nickname, but given the   
circumstances, he let it slide. He turned around and met her eyes   
again.  
  
"What?"  
  
"...Tell him Rei and Nagisa are with Unit-00."  
  
Kensuke blinked, not quite believing what he'd heard, but then nodded   
again. He turned around, paused again, waiting to hear if she'd stop   
him again. When she didn't, he took off, dashing towards Shinji's   
location.  
  
Asuka nodded once to herself, watching him go. She knew Kensuke would   
at least be able to deliver a message. She'd have preferred to   
deliver it herself, but there was no doubt someone back at the camp   
had seen the MP Eva. They'd need one of their leaders to calm them   
down.  
  
Sighing mentally in exasperation, and trying her best to hold back her   
fear, Asuka started off back towards the encampment.  
  
* * *  
  
Rei jogged at a steady pace, covering ground quickly. The Eva was   
moving slowly, but it was still moving quicker than she was.  
  
She glanced over her shoulder, to see the white form of the MP Eva   
swooping in, turning towards them and away from the camp. Looking   
back, she could see Kaoru was also watching the MP Eva's progress.  
  
Unit-00 stopped and turned around to face the new arrival. Kaoru   
watched, interested, as the large white machine came in low, then   
turned sharply upwards. The mecha floated several hundred meters off   
the ground, bobbing up and down with every flap of its wings.  
  
Kaoru looked the thing over. He'd only seen images and schematics of   
the MP Evas before. And now, here was one, staring him right in the   
face. His mind worked quickly, struggling to remember what he'd heard   
of this thing. S2 engine powered, so infinite activation time...Dummy   
plug piloted...was that true? If the Dummy plug were the thing   
piloting, the machine would just be destroying everything in sight,   
wouldn't it?  
  
The Eva floated there several long moments, eyeing its blue   
counterpart. Eva-00 stood there patiently under the scrutiny.   
Finally, the MP Eva's attention flickered to the boy on the Eva's   
shoulder.   
  
Its gaze then shifted down to the blue-haired girl watching. A memory   
flickered in the giant thing's mind at the sight of the girl standing   
with the Eva. She'd cut it...letting another Eva stab at its heart...  
  
The MP Eva growled and swept its wings back, diving straight at Unit-  
00.  
  
Reflexes alone were what saved Kaoru. Unit-00 dove to one side, just   
avoiding the diving MP Eva. The boy hung on for dear life as Unit-00   
moved quickly, tilting his precious foothold.   
  
The MP Eva powered into the ground at high speed. The earth shook and   
a bright flash lit up the area as an explosion blasted out of the   
impact point.   
  
Rei was thrown off her feet by the shockwave. She flew backwards   
several meters, before landing and rolling away. She got to her hands   
and knees almost immediately, although her suddenly sore body   
protested greatly. Blinking, she tried to survey the damage.  
  
From what she could see, several buildings from the nearby city had   
collapsed from the shockwave. Rei's eyes narrowed, as she thought   
over the potential loss in resources that could mean. She turned her   
head to look back at the battlefield.  
  
The MP Eva had blasted its way into the ground, displacing the very   
earth with its attack, and leaving a circular indentation hundreds of   
meters across. Clumps of dirt and mud, thrown high by the explosion,   
were now tumbling down, making an odd sort of rain.  
  
In the center of the crater lay the white mecha that had made it,   
apparently motionless. Rei looked over to Unit-00. She could see   
Kaoru had somehow managed to hang on. He was just now making the Eva   
lean over so he could drop off of it.  
  
Unit-00 clumsily got to its feet, just as the MP Eva also began to   
move again. The white mecha stood up, apparently undamaged even after   
having crash-landed. It spread its wings and floated up out of the   
hole it had dug itself into.  
  
* * *  
  
Shinji was shaken off of his feet by the blast. Falling hard on his   
rear end, he blinked and tried to figure out what the hell had just   
happened.  
  
Just a minute ago, they'd been eyeing key buildings to see what looked   
like it might stay up long enough to be searched. Overhead, they'd   
heard a strong gusting noise, but nobody had thought to look up;   
strong winds came once in a while. Then, from out of nowhere, the   
earth had decided to heave up and throw them all to the ground. The   
crack of an explosion had been heard microseconds later.  
  
A loud crash caught Shinji's attention. He looked just in time to see   
a building collapsing in on itself from the tremors. Reflexively, he   
looked up, to see several of the broken skyscrapers swaying   
dangerously from the shockwave.  
  
"Everyone away from the buildings!" Shinji ordered, forcing his gaze   
back down to ground level. "They could fall any second!"  
  
The men he was with complied instantly, trying to put as much distance   
between themselves and the hundreds of tons of concrete that could   
possibly bury them.  
  
Shinji followed them, running down one of the old streets. As they   
ran, the buildings became progressively smaller, until finally they   
were no more than two stories high, on average.  
  
Everyone seemed to take this as being good enough. They all stopped,   
panting and resting their hands on their knees. Shinji leaned against   
a wall, hesitating as he heard it creak.  
  
He looked up.  
  
His jaw dropped.  
  
"What the..." he mumbled, watching. That was...an Eva? Fighting   
Unit-00? He rubbed his eyes, hoping and praying that he was just   
seeing things. But when he opened them again, the machines were still   
there. In fact, the white Eva was just now spreading its wings and   
lifting off. Unit-00 was laid out on the ground, apparently knocked   
over by the blast.  
  
A million questions flooded Shinji's mind. Where had the other Eva   
come from? How was Unit-00 fighting? Who was controlling it, anyway?   
He didn't have any answers.  
  
"Hey, Shinji!" came a familiar voice. Shinji turned in time to see   
Kensuke running down the street they'd just come down.  
  
"Kensuke, get out of there!" Shinji called out. "This place could   
come down on our heads!"  
  
The boy just kept running, though. Shinji turned, watching as Unit-00   
stood up. Its footsteps caused minor tremors, but they were enough to   
shake the already-weakened buildings.  
  
"Everyone, get clear of the city!" Shinji ordered. He gestured for   
them to go in a certain direction, away from both the buildings and   
the Evas. ^Got to keep these people alive,^ he thought.  
  
"Shinji! Asuka sent me here to - "  
  
"Shut up and _run_!" Shinji yelled, desperate. Normally, he wouldn't   
have snapped at his friend, but given the circumstances...  
  
Kensuke was cut off as a big man grabbed him from behind and started   
pushing him along. The group ran, trying to get to some relative   
safety.  
  
As he ran, this time in the lead, Shinji turned his head. The flying   
Eva was circling, now...and dive-bombing?  
  
Its speed was much too high for this to just be a combat maneuver. It   
really looked like it was going to ram into Unit-00.  
  
He stopped running, and signaled for everyone to take cover, doing his   
best to be heard over the pounding of feet, both human-sized and Eva-  
sized.  
  
They all got down as another explosion shook the area. The man   
pushing Kensuke shoved the boy to the ground, holding him down as best   
he could.  
  
"Lemme go!" Kensuke said, trying to wrestle free.   
  
The man didn't listen; he figured whatever it was, it could wait. It   
definitely wasn't worth this boy's life.  
  
* * *  
  
Rei watched, noting how the white Eva's movements were fluid, as though   
there were some great power behind every movement. Unit-00, on the   
other hand, was only just managing to move. It looked like a drunkard,   
whereas the MP Eva looked like a trained prizefighter.  
  
The MP Eva in question was swooping around in a large circle, quite   
obviously coming around for another attack. Rei took the moment to   
run over to where Kaoru had gotten to the ground.  
  
Kaoru's calm was quite visibly shaken. He was disheveled and covered   
in dust by the Eva's quick dodging maneuver. The boy was holding one   
hand with the other, somewhat hiding the trickle of blood that was   
going down his arm. Rei said nothing, but Kaoru noticed her glance at   
his injury.  
  
"It's fine," the boy said. "But I scratched myself on one of the   
handholds."  
  
Rei nodded once, then looked back to see the MP Eva had lined itself   
up and was coming in again. Its wings were spread to their full   
width, but even as she watched, the wings swept back, increasing the   
thing's speed as it dive-bombed again.  
  
"AT field," Rei said, simply.  
  
Kaoru complied, as best he could. The air around Unit-00 rippled as   
an AT field came into existence around it. Just as the field   
stabilized, the MP Eva crashed into it.  
  
For the first time in over two years, the glowing hexagonal pattern of   
two AT fields meeting lit up the area. It was only a flicker, though,   
a split-second appearance, as the MP Eva just kept moving, tearing   
through Unit-00's feeble AT field and hitting the blue Eva head-on.  
  
Another explosion followed, sending Rei and Kaoru tumbling backwards.   
Kaoru grunted as he hit the ground hard. Rei just concentrated on   
controlling her breathing as she squinted through the cloud of dust   
and debris that had been thrown up by that last blast.  
  
Unit-00 had not done too well. A visible dent was present in its   
chest armor. In addition, the blue Eva had been shoved backwards by   
the impact, leaving a deep furrow in the earth. Currently, the mecha   
was lying motionless on the ground, staring blankly at the sky.  
  
"Kaoru-san, get the Eva to its feet," Rei said, watching as the MP Eva   
stood out of _another_ crater and took to the skies again.  
  
Kaoru grunted again and looked in the Eva's direction. Unit-00 began   
to move again, its arms coming up shakily. As this happened, Rei   
watched their opponent, mentally calculating its attack pattern.  
  
^It's using its own kinetic energy in addition to its AT field to get   
the power for those strikes. But why take such a dangerous avenue   
when we are obviously at a disadvantage?^  
  
"Faster," Rei said, her voice still calm, but with a veiled intensity   
behind it. From what she could see, the MP Eva was already lining up   
for another strike.  
  
"I can't _go_ any faster, Rei," the boy said. "I can't keep the   
concentration I need. I don't..." - he stopped her to cough out some   
of the dust he'd inhaled - "...I don't even think I can make an AT   
field, this time," he croaked out.  
  
Rei looked at him dispassionately, seeing that he was indeed telling   
the truth. Then she looked out to the MP Eva, which was almost in   
position to dive again.  
  
She paused, instinctively waiting for the commanding officer to tell   
her what to do. But then she remembered that there _was_ no   
commanding officer. She and Kaoru were on their own.  
  
Rei closed her eyes and made a decision.  
  
"Kaoru-san, cut all connection to the Eva," she said, opening her eyes   
again.  
  
Kaoru looked like he was going to argue, but then nodded somberly.  
  
Unit-00 went limp. The MP Eva, sensing its opponent was defeated,   
roared and swept its wings back, diving again.  
  
Rei's eyes narrowed as she concentrated. She drove out all thoughts,   
focusing her mind. Finally, she felt something tangible within her   
mind. She reached out and touched it, feeling it come alive.  
  
Unit-00 began moving again. It's cyclopean eye lit up, glowing a dull   
red. Shakily, it raised its arms up, then drove them down into the   
ground. Using that as leverage, it kicked its legs into the air and   
launched itself to its feet. The earth shook as it landed upright.  
  
The Eva immediately noticed the dive-bombing opponent. It shifted its   
position and spread its arms, hands flexing as though ready to catch   
something. The air rippled again, this time accompanied by rocks and   
dust being pushed away from the Eva by a much stronger AT field.  
  
"What are you doing?" Kaoru asked. "I thought only I could control   
the Eva directly."  
  
"I'm not controlling it," Rei answered. "The Eva is under its own   
control, currently."  
  
Kaoru looked back to the Eva, just as the MP collided with it again.  
  
Once more, glowing hexagons appeared. This time, though, instead of   
flickering and dying, the glowing pattern became steadily brighter.   
The MP Eva froze in mid-air, its wings swept back but somehow still   
staying aloft. Unit-00 had both its hands braced on the AT-field   
'wall', with its legs pushing hard on the ground. Slowly, forces began   
to take effect, and Unit-00 began to slide backwards.  
  
The blue Eva scrabbled for a foothold as it slid backwards, digging   
another set of trenches. In front of it, the MP Eva growled, bearing   
its teeth.  
  
Suddenly, panels opened on Unit-00's back, deploying several large   
nozzles. Flames roared out of these jet boosters, giving it the added   
push it needed. Unit-00 began to regain ground, pushing the MP Eva   
backwards in a vicious tug-of-war.  
  
Unit-00 switched its grip, bringing both hands together at the center   
of the AT field. It dug its fingers in, as though gripping something   
tangible, and began to pull in two different directions. A ripping   
sound could be heard as the two AT fields began to negate each other.   
The MP Eva, apparently at a loss for new ideas, only watched.  
  
^All it has to do is land and go to hand-to-hand combat,^ Rei thought,   
watching. ^Why doesn't it do that? Why continue a course of attack   
that is no longer working?^  
  
With a final surge, Unit-00 jerked its arms apart, shredding the AT   
field. The hexagon pattern flickered and died. Gravity also seemed   
to finally notice the MP Eva, and the white machine crashed to the   
ground, causing a small earthquake that sent more of the nearby Tokyo-  
2 buildings crashing down.  
  
Unit-00 reached down and grabbed the MP Eva by the scruff of its neck,   
dragging it up into a squatting position. The MP Eva grabbed Unit-  
00's arms, but the blue Eva shook them off with quick jerks of its   
arms. It forced the MP Eva's head to face upwards, then grabbed both   
halves of its jaws in its hands and began to pull apart.  
  
It might have been a boon that Unit-00 had no justifiable mouth, or   
even a real face; currently, it looked like a machine doing a job. If   
it had been able to show expression, it might have looked like it was   
taking some perverse pleasure out of this. Rei found the thought   
somewhat sickening.  
  
Despite the MP Eva's efforts to pull Unit-00's arms off of its head,   
Unit-00 succeeded in pulling the MP Eva's jaws apart, sending an   
earsplitting CRACK through the air as the skull fractured. Blood   
began to pour out of the MP Eva's head as its flesh tore around its   
mouth.  
  
Unit-00 wasn't finished, yet. Leaving the MP Eva sitting with its   
mouth forced open, the blue mecha raised its arm into the air, then   
plunged its right hand down the MP Eva's throat.  
  
Kaoru flinched, watching. Rei's eyes only narrowed. She had a fair   
idea of what came next.  
  
The MP Eva struggled against Unit-00, beating its fists on the   
unyielding blue armor. Unit-00 didn't even seem to notice. It just   
used its one hand to hold the MP Eva in place, while its free hand   
kept working on its enemy's guts.  
  
Finally, Unit-00 seemed to find what it was looking for. It shifted   
its balance and pulled backwards, releasing the MP Eva as it did so.   
Its arm came out of the ruined mouth. In its hand, it clutched the   
end of a long red tube, which also came out the MP Eva's mouth,   
forcing the jaws apart even wider as it did so.  
  
Unit-00 removed the red tube entirely from the MP Eva, which then fell   
over onto its back. Rei recognized the tube immediately as the Dummy   
plug from inside the MP Eva.  
  
Unit-00 held the Dummy plug in its hand.  
  
It clenched the hand into a fist, sending the screech of tortured   
metal through the air.  
  
It grabbed at the ends of the plug and bent it in half.  
  
It twisted.  
  
It crushed.  
  
LCL poured out of the destroyed plug, along with a fair amount of   
electricity. Rei thought she was only seeing things, but...she   
thought she could see body parts sticking out, too. Human body parts.  
  
^You know what was in there...^ she thought.  
  
Rei put one hand to her abdomen as she felt her stomach turn. ^It was   
just a doll,^ she thought. ^It wanted to die, I'm sure of that.^  
  
Unit-00 dropped the hunk of metal that had once been a Dummy plug to   
the ground. It then raised its foot up to stomp down on the plug,   
when it was suddenly tackled.  
  
Rei and Kaoru's eyes both widened. The MP Eva had just tackled Unit-  
00...but hadn't it just had its Entry plug removed? How was it doing   
this?  
  
Unit-00 looked up into the destroyed visage of its opponent. The MP   
Eva's jaw hung loosely from its head, while its tongue still lolled   
around aimlessly. Blood trickled out of its wounds. Yet the white   
Eva was definitely not out, yet. With a quick move, it pulled Unit-00   
into a sitting position, got behind it, and put the Eva into a   
headlock.  
  
^So _now_ it switches tactics,^ Rei thought. ^But why wait so long?   
This method seems to be working better...^  
  
Unit-00 was not to be stopped. It stood, lifting the MP Eva with it   
even as its neck creaked under the stress being applied. Unit-00   
reached backwards, turning slightly, shakily. The MP Eva strenghtened   
its hold, refusing to let Unit-00 go.  
  
Unit-00 grabbed onto the MP Eva's shoulder with one hand. It was a   
very awkward grip, not nearly enough to try loosening the grip the   
enemy Eva had on its neck. But Unit-00 didn't intend on trying   
something like that. Instead of trying to break free, it just   
clenched its fist.  
  
Unit-00's fingers dug into the MP Eva's arm, sending gouts of blood   
spraying into the air. The fingers stopped after a moment, then shook   
with the effort. Crackling sounds, followed soon after by a   
thunderous CRUNCH came a moment later as the arm's bone was shattered.  
  
The MP Eva's grip went limp. Unit-00 twisted, tearing off its   
opponent's arm entirely. It threw the ruined limb to the ground and   
advanced on the white Eva. A single kick tripped the machine and sent   
it sprawling onto its back, letting Unit-00 pounce on it, burying one   
knee into its chest.  
  
What followed was needlessly messy. Unit-00's hands gripped, tore,   
shredded, and crushed everything in the way. The MP Eva was soon no   
longer recognizable as such. It fought the entire way, but with just   
one arm and an opponent that didn't seem to care about its own   
welfare, the MP Eva was effectively helpless.  
  
Finally, Unit-00 found its target: the red orb in the abdomen of the   
MP Eva. Unit-00 reached out, its hand shaking as though in   
anticipation, and gripped the orb. The MP Eva tried to scream, but   
its throat had been torn out some time ago. It tried to fight, but   
its other arm had been removed, too. It was unable to do anything as   
Unit-00 squeezed.  
  
At first, the red orb flexed like gelatin. Then, finally, it cracked   
and shattered. As it broke, another explosion blasted out of the Eva,   
lighting up the area as though a nuke had just gone off.  
  
Rei and Kaoru both saw the shockwave approaching. It was all they   
could do to brace themselves before the light and heat washed over   
them.   
  
And then the world dissolved around them.  
  
* * *  
  
Shinji and his small team watched as the Eva exploded. They all took   
cover as the shockwave rippled outwards, sending dust and small rocks   
flying up into the air.  
  
Coughing violently, Shinji got out from behind the boulder he'd been   
hiding behind. He squinted through the dust, trying to make something   
out.  
  
Unit-00's massive silouhette could still be seen. Slowly, as though   
in a daze, the mech stood up. It began walking.  
  
^Oh, no...^ Shinji thought. He'd been able to tell when the Dummy   
plug was activated. Was it still online? If it was, there was no   
telling what the Eva would do, now. The MP Eva that Unit-00 had come   
from had originally been programmed to destroy all humanity...so what   
would this one do, now that it had been reactivated?  
  
Shinji felt his heart crawling up his throat and his pulse pounding in   
his ears as the Eva took several steps, climbing out of the blast   
crater that last explosion had made. As the dust cleared, it turned   
its head, looking around to try and identify any more threats. Shinji   
tried not to breathe.  
  
Finally, Unit-00 seemed satsified that its opponent was dead. It   
kneeled down, going to one knee as its engine powered down.  
  
Shinji watched for what felt like forever, waiting to make sure the   
Eva was, in fact, going to stay like that. Finally satisfied, he   
stood up, signaling to the others that it was safe to come out of   
hiding.  
  
"Everyone OK?" he asked.  
  
Nods came sporadically as people tried to listen to him while   
surveying what remained.  
  
Kensuke shook himself off, shrugged off the man who'd been holding him   
down, and then immediately dashed up to Shinji. He stood next to the   
other boy and looked around, dumbstruck. He paused, wondering if it   
was even worth it to tell Shinji his message.  
  
"What's that?" Shinji asked, seeing something small moving in the   
distance. It looked like a human form...  
  
Seemed it _was_ worth it.  
  
"Shinji...I kinda got bad news," Kensuke said.  
  
"What?" Shinji asked, turning to see his friend. "Can't be worse than   
an Eva battle, eh?" he asked, trying to make himself smile.  
  
Kensuke, for once, didn't smile back. "Well...you know about Ayanami   
and Nagisa? How...well...they're the ones who control the Eva?"  
  
Shinji nodded. "Yeah, I know that...they..." he trailed off. Kensuke   
could actually _see_ it click in Shinji's mind.  
  
"Oh, God..." Shinji mumbled.  
  
"I tried telling you earlier, but _these_ jerks wouldn't let me   
move," Kensuke said, sticking his thumb in the general direction of   
his former restrainers.  
  
Shinji didn't seem to be listening anymore. "C'mon, we gotta go see   
if they're all right!" he said, turning immediately after he said this   
and taking off at top speed. Kensuke followed, shaking his head.   
Behind him, he heard a few of the other men also get moving.  
  
On the upside, it looked like Nagisa was still moving. Kensuke hadn't   
the slightest idea how the boy hadn't been utterly disintegrated; he'd   
been almost at ground zero.  
  
He just ran harder, trying to keep up with Shinji in front of him.  
  
* * *  
  
Oddly enough, one of Rei's thoughts concerning the rest of the world   
had been true. Some countries _had_ recovered relatively quickly. So   
quickly, in fact, that they were willing to risk sending out scouts to   
see how the rest of the world was doing.  
  
USAF-2010-A was an old observation plane, loaded to the gills with   
scanning and detection equipment. It was outdated, but still   
reliable. And it was also the best there was at the moment; currently   
there was no one around who knew how to _fly_ the newer planes.  
  
Inside the plane, a man was sitting in a cheap aluminum-and-plastic   
chair, staring intently at a computer screen.  
  
It was one among many computer screens; he was sitting in the heart of   
the plane, where monitors and readouts dominated both curved walls and   
a fair portion of the ceiling. Off to one side lay a small mountain   
of empty Styrofoam coffee cups, right next to a smaller pile of   
cigarette butts. There was a clock in the room, but the man never   
bothered checking it. All he had to do was stay awake until his shift   
was over.  
  
And his shift was much too long for his tastes. Given, America had   
withstood Third Impact better than some countries, but it still had   
the problems of underpopulation the rest of the world was   
experiencing. Double and triple shifts were not uncommon.  
  
It was important work, though; the man could look up at any one of the   
dozen camera feeds, checking on the activity of what was going on   
under and around the plane. If anything happened, he would be the   
first to know.  
  
Unfortunately, it was also very boring work. The man was really only   
there so someone could work the terminals if a person who actually   
gave a damn decided to ask what he saw. So, he had to think up new   
ways to kill time.  
  
"Crap!" he cursed, as he got killed again in the computer game he was   
playing. He waited for his character to restart, then again started   
punching buttons on the controller he was holding. He didn't play for   
long, though, before he died again.  
  
"Dammit," he said, throwing the controller to the floor, where it   
clattered noisily before finally stopping. The man leaned back and   
rubbed at his face with both hands, trying to keep his blood flowing.   
He looked back at the computer screens.  
  
^Yeah, _you'd_ never have hidden traps ready to eat me alive,^ he   
thought at the screens.  
  
As though in response to this, a bright flash came from one of the   
screens.  
  
The man blinked. "What the..." he muttered, sliding over to the   
appropriate keyboard and punching buttons.  
  
The camera view zoomed in, expanding the area he could still see the   
flash coming from.  
  
Finally, he saw it: the dome-shaped light, with accompanying mushroom   
cloud, of a rather large explosion.  
  
The man's eyes flickered up, to one of the screens hanging from the   
ceiling. It normally would have been a GPS system, but most of the   
world's satellites had come down with Third Impact. This screen was   
now just a regular computerized map. However, it was still enough to   
show the general area they were going over.  
  
^Japan? They got levelled...^  
  
But the explosion was there, anyway...  
  
The man got up and picked up a phone off the wall. It connected him   
directly to the cockpit.  
  
"Hello, pilot?...yeah. Listen, I just saw something pretty big out on   
the hull camera...look, screw the regulations for a minute, this looks   
important. Can you just go in a little lower? I gotta see what this   
thing is..."  
  
The man held the phone to his ear a little longer. His brow furrowed   
as the pilot explained that they didn't have the fuel to go in for a   
lower pass over an area they didn't have a search pattern for already.   
The man hung up the phone before the explanation was even over.  
  
^Well, come to think of it, if there were people down there, we'd want   
to land. And I doubt there's a working airport out here...^  
  
He rubbed at his face again, then resignedly reached into his pocket.   
He pulled out a cell phone and flipped it open. He dialed another   
number.  
  
"Hey, it's me," he began. "Look, I just saw an explosion over in   
Japan. This pilot doesn't want to check it out, so I can't get a   
closer look. So can you...you will? Great. Yeah, don't worry, I'll   
tell everyone who needs to know...OK, thanks. Bye."  
  
The man sat down again, figuring he'd managed to actually accomplish   
something today. He crossed his hands behind his head and looked back   
at the screens, at Japan, where the explosion had already died off,   
leaving only dust and smoke.  
  
* * *  
  
Thick boots crunched on dirt and small rocks as a tall boy walked   
slowly over the ruined landscape.  
  
He looked quite tired, but at the same time happy. He'd been walking   
for days, now, but he was finally back home. The place that made   
living worthwhile. He'd left some time ago, mostly because he'd   
wanted to see what was left of the country. What he'd seen hadn't   
been too encouraging.  
  
^Geez, we're gonna be scraping at the dirt for years,^ he thought,   
climbing over a small rise in the terrain. ^I just wish I could tell   
if it was worth it. I wonder how the rest of the planet came out...^  
  
He looked up at the sky. He'd heard some loud booming noises a while   
ago. But the sky was clear...so it wouldn't be lightning, would it?   
He figured it wasn't worth the mental effort of figuring out what was   
wrong.  
  
He climbed up a larger hill, catching his breath as he reached the   
top. He went to one knee, letting his legs relax as he looked up. He   
smiled.  
  
In front of him was the camp he'd left behind a couple of weeks ago.   
It looked much the same as when he'd left it: shanties cobbled   
together out of rock and other assorted debris. It looked like there   
were a few more people, but he wasn't sure from up here.  
  
"Made it..." he groaned out. He coughed a little, as he finished   
getting his breath back. He stood up again.  
  
His eyes then focused on something a little more distant. It   
looked...like one of the shelters, only it was _huge_. How had they   
put something like that together?  
  
Also in the distance, he could make out an enormous dust cloud, which   
was just now clearing. As the view became clearer, he began to see a   
large, metallic form, hunched over.  
  
Touji Suzuhara recognized it immediately as Unit-00.  
  
"What the..." he said, stepping backwards. He sat down hard.  
  
^Did I miss somethin', here?^  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: Damn, I love mecha fights. And in case you're wondering,   
yes, Unit-00 _does_ have those jet boosters. Watch the episode where   
ninth Angel (the spider) attacks.  
  
Anyway, as you're reading this, the next part is being completed and   
will be on its way to the prereaders shortly. Hopefully there won't be   
as much of a delay before the next part comes out.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: April 21, 2001  
Ended: May 14, 2001  
  
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com  
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjrei  
  
And thank you, prereaders, for putting up with me: The Avatar of   
Dragonia, Judging Eagle, and Heavyarms Kai. I am forever grateful   
that you took the time to proofread my story so far. I am especially   
thankful to Avatar of Dragonia, who in addition to prereading, also   
suggested the title for this chapter.  
  
Finally, thank you Paul, for giving me the idea of other countries coming   
into the picture.  



	7. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: The characters, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis Evangelion   
are not mine. I make no claim to them. They are used without   
permission.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics (emphasis)  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 5: The Unexpected Touch  
  
Shinji's legs were pumping hard, carrying him quickly over the distance   
to the battlefield. Every few seconds, he'd glance up, at the form of   
Unit-00. The Eva was still motionless, kneeling down and staring at   
the ground as though ashamed.  
  
^Just stay that way,^ he thought at the Eva, as though he could   
mentally command it.  
  
Behind him, Kensuke and a few other brave souls were trying their   
hardest to keep up. They tried not to notice how hot it was around the   
site of the recent explosion, and they tried hard not to wonder if   
there was radiation floating around after that final blast.  
  
They reached their first target: a pale boy staggering around,   
apparently trying to cough his lungs out. Shinji and the others were   
also coughing violently by the time they'd reached him; they couldn't   
help it, now that the dust from the blast was settling. As such, they   
were staggering instead of running by the time they'd reached Kaoru.  
  
Shinji reached Kaoru and bent over double, trying to get some oxygen.   
After he'd caught his breath, he looked up at the boy.  
  
"K-Kaoru-(cough)-kun, what (cough) happened?"  
  
Kaoru just shook his head, trying to get air, as well. He started to   
walk away, only to stumble and fall to his hands and knees. He tried   
hard to get up, but he didn't seem to have the strength anymore.  
  
Shinji knelt down and carefully tapped Kaoru on his back, as the people   
who'd been following circled around.  
  
"Kaoru, can you hear me?" Shinji asked the pale boy. Kaoru only   
nodded.  
  
"Kaoru, what happened? Where's Ayanami?"  
  
Kaoru just shook his head again. He coughed, his whole body spasming   
with the force.  
  
Shinji frowned. He turned to face the others.  
  
"Kensuke, can you keep an eye on him?" he asked, in a rushed voice.   
Kensuke nodded carefully, keeping his eyes on Shinji's and trying to   
ascertain what the boy was thinking. He could only see nervousness.  
  
"The rest of you guys, help me find Ayanami," Shinji continued. He   
couldn't keep his voice from trembling, even though he knew he was   
supposed to be the one in charge. As such, his 'order' sounded a bit   
more like a suggestion.  
  
The other men knew it was an order, though, and they all wanted to   
look, anyway. They spread out, searching for any trace of Rei Ayanami.  
  
Several long minutes passed. Rei's name was called out by everyone   
looking for her, with no response. Shinji quickly began to get   
desperate. He ran all over the place, looking behind every rock, under   
every bit of rubble. His hands were soon scraped and bleeding as he   
moved bits and pieces of debris out of the way so he could see if there   
was anything they were hiding. But he didn't care; he knew he had to   
find her.  
  
^Kaoru-kun survived...so Ayanami had to, as well, right?^ he thought.   
He wasn't sure. It didn't make any sense that Kaoru would have   
survived while Ayanami had been vaporized. But logic was quickly   
abandoning him. He just knew he had to find some trace of her.  
  
In the back of his mind, he knew he shouldn't be this concerned.   
Ayanami was a strong person; stronger than he was, he was certain of   
that. Also, there was the fact that she still made him feel queasy   
inside; he didn't know what he'd do once he'd found her. But he knew   
that it just _wasn't_right_ to leave someone out in the middle of   
nowhere, possibly hurt, or even dying...  
  
He shook his head. No, Ayanami wouldn't be dead, he was sure. He   
stopped, running his hands through his hair. He looked around, his   
head whipping back and forth in hopes that he'd missed something.   
Where _was_ she?  
  
He almost missed her; so much dust had fallen onto Rei's unmoving,   
prostrate form that she blended in with the color of the earth. Only   
by chance did Shinji see her, lying face-down on the ground.  
  
He was there in seconds, rolling Rei onto her back. The girl's eyes   
were closed, and they stayed that way, even as Shinji shook her to try   
and get her attention. Her head lolled around limply on her neck, so   
much that Shinji let go, fearing that he was hurting her.  
  
"Ayanami?" he called, loudly, hoping she might respond to her name   
being called. "Ayanami? Can you hear me? Ayanami!"  
  
Rei was in bad shape, he could see. Blood was streaked over her face   
and down her neck; apparently she'd hit her head on something. Her arm   
was bent at an odd angle; Shinji winced in empathy just looking at the   
injury.  
  
He reached out to put his hand onto her chest and see that she was   
still alive. He hesitated, however, as he remembered where his hand   
would be going to check her heartbeat.  
  
^Idiot,^ he chided himself. ^Don't think about things like that. And   
she's unconscious, anyway...^  
  
But he still couldn't do it. Grumbling to himself, he instead picked   
up her good arm and put two fingers onto her wrist. He had to search   
around for a minute before he found a pulse. It was rather weak, but   
still regular.  
  
He sighed in relief and carefully lowered her arm down to the ground.   
It seemed she was OK for the time being, but he knew she couldn't be   
left out here.  
  
He looked around, waving his arms and calling out to try and get the   
attention of someone nearby. Two of the closer men headed for his   
position as they noticed him.  
  
"Help me with her," Shinji said, looping his arms under Rei's armpits.   
He looked up at the two men, only to see them standing, arms hanging by   
their sides, watching him. They both looked afraid to even _look_ at   
Rei, let alone pick her up.  
  
"What's wrong?" Shinji asked. "Help me."  
  
"Ikari-san..." one of the men said, slowly. "...she...she's dangerous.   
You shouldn't be touching her." All he could think of at the moment   
was how he'd seen this girl, a little younger, just before he'd   
dissolved into LCL. The other man was thinking the same thing.  
  
Shinji looked at them incredulously. "She's _hurt_," he said, trying   
to sound authoritative, and not doing so well. ^I wish Asuka was here.   
She'd get these guys moving.^  
  
The men looked like they wanted to comply, but fear had frozen their   
feet to the ground. They'd been willing to help find the girl, but   
neither had thought about what to do if she was hurt.  
  
After a few moments of staring at them, trying to will them to help,   
Shinji gave up and adjusted his grip.  
  
Placing his left arm in the crook of her knees to hold her, and   
cradling her head and upper body in his right arm, he slowly lifted her   
off the ground. Her blood slowly seeped into his shirt, staining it   
crimson. It was true that she was stronger than him, but that strength   
was only on the inside. As indestructible as Ayanami sometimes seemed,   
she could be broken just as easily as him.  
  
He grunted and started walking, taking one step after another towards   
the camp. He was thankful that the air had cleared, letting him   
breathe. Rei was heavier than she looked, but Shinji figured he could   
handle it. He tried to be gentle, though the exertion made that   
difficult.   
  
The men followed dumbly, looking quite ashamed. Shinji called over his   
shoulder at them.  
  
"If you want to help, get Kensuke and tell him to bring back Kaoru-  
kun."  
  
The men nodded and then jogged off, as though afraid to follow him any   
further than they had to.  
  
^I _really_ need to get Asuka to show me how to get people to listen to   
me,^ Shinji thought. ^Or maybe Misato-san...people seem to listen to her.^  
  
It was quite a distance back to the camp, but Shinji was determined to   
walk it, carrying the girl with him the whole way if necessary. No   
matter what she'd done before, she didn't deserve to be left out here.  
  
As he walked, he realized that this was the second time he had ever   
held her in his arms. The first time, she had been helpless, her life   
hanging in the balance...  
  
...just like she was now.  
  
He was so concerned with his own thoughts, as well as keeping himself   
moving, that he didn't notice Rei beginning to stir.  
  
* * *  
  
Rei's eyes tightened as she regained consciousness.   
  
She felt _terrible_. The last thing she remembered had been seeing the   
Eva explode in front of her. She'd known it was too late to avoid the   
blast, but she'd still tried to brace herself. The force of the   
explosion had been too much, though; she'd been thrown backwards. Her   
head had hit the ground rather hard; it had felt like her skull had   
found a rock buried in the earth. With a brief burst of pain, she'd   
passed out.  
  
Now, She had a splitting headache, starting from the back of her head   
and spreading out through the rest of her. Her right arm felt like it   
was going to explode.  
  
^Probably broken,^ she reasoned. She opened her eyes to get a better   
look...  
  
...and was immediately greeted by the face of Shinji Ikari.  
  
The angle was a little odd. She was looking _up_ at his head, her   
point of view apparently below him. Glancing to the right, she saw she   
was right up against him.  
  
^He is...carrying me,^ she thought, her eyes widening. A blush quickly   
spread over her cheeks. ^Why? Why would he do this? Was I badly   
hurt?^  
  
She looked down, seeing that her arm was, indeed, very badly broken,   
possibly in two places. Her face kept the detached look it usually   
had, but her cheeks were getting steadily redder as she became aware of   
Shinji's body warmth seeping into her. Did she warm him as well, being   
held as she was?  
  
^No, I...I cannot think like this...he is with Soryu...^  
  
But she found that she didn't want to be put down, not yet. Strangely   
enough, she felt better in this position; more secure, more relaxed.   
Indeed, it almost felt as though the pain from her injuries was   
receding, as she rested in his arms.  
  
She'd only had this safe feeling once before...and while being held by   
the same boy who held her now...   
  
Shinji let out a small grunt of effort. It was obviously taking a lot   
out of him to be doing this. He shifted his grip on Rei,   
unintentionally moving her arm and sending a burst or firey pain   
through the girl, causing her to gasp and cry out.  
  
Shinji was so surprised, he almost dropped her. But he caught her at   
the last second, again jerking her arm and making her cry out. Rei's   
eyes were clenched shut again, trying to withstand the pain.  
  
"Ayanami?" Shinji asked. "Ayanami, are you awake?"  
  
Rei could only manage a weak nod. She forced her eyes open to meet   
Shinji's gaze.  
  
Shinji was now looking directly at her. "Can you stand?" he asked, his   
face full of worry.  
  
Rei nodded again. Shinji was more careful in handling her this time,   
setting her on her feet and trying not to move her arm. It was   
difficult, though. Rei only succeeded in not crying out again through   
a great amount of self-control.  
  
Shinji gave Rei some time to compose herself. The girl cradled her   
right arm close to her body, trying to protect it.  
  
"Are you all right?" he asked, out of habit. ^Of _course_ she's not   
all right,^ he thought, his eyes going back down to her injured limb.  
  
Rei still nodded. "I will live," she said, keeping her voice even and   
trying to ignore the pain. However, she noticed the blood on the arm   
of his shirt. ^Is that from me? Or did he injure himself trying to   
help me?^  
  
"Well, come on," he said, pointing in the direction he'd been walking.   
"Let's see if we can do something about that arm. How's your head?"  
  
^Terrible.^ "It should heal," Rei responded. She reached back   
carefully and touched the part of her head that felt like the source of   
the pain. She touched wetness, bringing her hand back around to see   
the blood on it.  
  
^It seems the blood on him is from me. I suppose that is better.   
I...do not want to see Ikari-kun hurt, especially not on my account.^   
That last thought called up half-forgotten memories, of how often she   
had protected him in the past. And now, Ikari was helping _her_,   
instead of the other way around...  
  
"Here," Shinji said, taking a cloth out of his pocket and handing it to   
her. "Try putting pressure on that."  
  
Rei did so, then started walking, coming alongside Shinji. Shinji, for   
his part, glanced back over his shoulder, to see the rest of the group   
beginning to catch up.  
  
He looked back to the girl standing next to him. Despite himself, he   
too felt some of the fear the other men had been experiencing. Now   
that Rei was awake, he couldn't forget that she wasn't exactly normal.   
He began to drift away from her.  
  
^Why is he doing this?^ Rei wondered, noticing how he was moving away.   
^He was helping me just a moment ago. Why avoid me, now?^  
  
She wanted to ask Shinji, but was hesitant to do so. If the boy was   
avoiding her, was there any guarantee he'd want to answer her   
questions? As such, Rei remained silent as they got back into the   
camp. She also remained silent as a crowd of people surrounded them,   
asking them what had happened and if they were safe. And she remained   
silent as Shinji took her over to Ritsuko and Maya to see if the two   
women could help set Rei's arm.  
  
It was only much later that Rei finally came to a conclusion.  
  
^Is he...afraid of me?^  
  
* * *  
  
Touji looked out, again, at Tokyo-2. Or rather, where Tokyo-2 once had   
been. The shockwaves and explosions of the earlier fight had proven to   
be too much for the decaying buildings. The city had been levelled to   
the ground in a matter of minutes. Touji sighed, despite himself.   
What a waste that had been.  
  
"Something wrong?" Hikari asked, from her position next to him.   
  
Touji turned towards the girl and gave her an encouraging smile.   
"Nah," he said, brusquely. "Just looking around, ya know?"  
  
Hikari didn't seem to buy that explanation, but she didn't say   
anything. Touji sighed inwardly at this. She was probably going to   
make him pay for lying. Somehow, someway, she'd do it, and he was   
helpless to stop it.  
  
On the upside, he'd been welcomed back very nicely by everyone. When   
he'd first gotten in, everyone had been in a panic, apparently about   
the Eva he'd seen out in the distance. He had a few questions about   
that thing, himself.  
  
Fortunately, word had spread quickly that he was back, as people had   
begun to recognize him. No one had taken the time to talk to him,   
though, as they were all too worried looking out at the Eva, and   
listening to Asuka, who'd been there ordering people around and trying   
to keep everyone under control.  
  
The first person he'd searched out had been Hikari. All he'd been able   
to think of, after seeing the frenzy of activity, coupled with the   
mecha on the horizon, was that maybe the people he cared about the most   
had been hurt.  
  
His fears had not been justified; he'd found Hikari off in a corner of   
the camp, doing her best to stay calm. She hadn't been doing so well.   
The girl had been surprised at Touji suddenly walking up, but the shock   
had passed quickly.  
  
After a rather involved 'welcome back' kiss, Hikari had started   
explaining what had happened. Or rather, what she had been able to   
piece together. Eventually, they'd come over to the edge of the camp,   
where they stood now.  
  
A while ago, Shinji and the others who'd still been out there had come   
back. In the ensuing activity, Touji hadn't had the opportunity to say   
hello. Currently, the boy was in one of the shelters with Akagi and   
Ibuki. Apprently Ayanami and some other kid had been injured. Touji   
clenched his fists unconsciously, knowing that he was unable to help,   
and angry for it.  
  
Shinji finally came out of the shelter, wiping his hands onto his pants   
to try and clean them off. Touji couldn't help noticing the large   
bloodstain on his arm, up around the crook of his elbow.  
  
^What happened?^ he wondered. He started making his way towards   
Shinji, leading Hikari along with him.  
  
Unfortunately, everyone else in the general vicinity _also_ wanted to   
know what had happened. They clustered around, crowding in on Shinji   
and shouting out hundreds of questions, until Shinji looked like he was   
going to pass out.  
  
Touji twitched, seeing this. Excusing himself from Hikari for a   
minute, he shoved through the crowd until he reached Shinji. Then he   
turned around and started waving people off, raising his voice so he   
could be heard above the clamor of everyone trying to talk at once.  
  
Off to his side, he heard another loud voice. Glancing in that   
direction, he saw Asuka had gotten the same idea as he had. The girl   
met his eyes and nodded once, the only greeting she could manage at   
this point.  
  
"Everyone just back off!" she said, literally shoving people away.   
"Give him a minute to breathe!"  
  
After a while, Misato caught up and took Asuka's place as crowd   
control. She threw Touji a smile, which he returned. But then they   
both had to go back to making sure no one got too animated.  
  
Meanwhile, Asuka came up next to Shinji, who'd sat down on the ground   
as people had crowded in. Touji turned his head to see the two of them   
talking. Asuka nodded as Shinji quietly explained what he'd heard.  
  
Finally, the German girl got to her feet. "All right, everyone, calm   
down and I'll give you the lowdown."  
  
"Yeah, everyone, shut up!" Touji shouted. This got him a glare from   
Misato and Asuka for being rude, but he just ignored them.  
  
The crowd calmed down very quickly. Asuka stepped up in between Touji   
and Misato.  
  
"All right, it looks like the Eva out there was just in a fight with   
another one. We won, so you're not in danger any more." Noting the   
questions on the people's faces, Asuka continued. "We don't know   
_where_ the other Eva came from. We'll try and figure it out."  
  
She took a breath, as chatter began to pick up again in the other   
people. "Rei and Nagisa are both OK," she said, calmly. "They're both   
a little beat up, but they're resting, now. That's...really all I have   
to say," she finished.  
  
Misato took this as her cue. "All right, you heard her, clear out! Go   
do something important."  
  
Touji pitched in, trying to get everyone moving. Many people lingered,   
but no one seemed to want to tick off any of the people who'd been   
keeping them back.  
  
"Well," Misato said, strolling up to Touji after everyone had left.   
"Sorry you had to see that, Suzuhara."  
  
"Ah, it's fine," Touji said, nonchalantly.  
  
Misato smiled, then gave him a loose hug - not enough for him to start   
getting ideas. "Glad to see you made it back," she said, letting him   
go.  
  
"Yeah, I'm in one piece," he said, patting his torso for emphasis.  
  
"So the second stooge is still alive?" Asuka commented from a distance,   
crossing her arms haughtily.  
  
Touji grit his teeth and turned to face the girl. "Nice to see you   
too, Soryu."  
  
Asuka nodded at him again, not saying anything else. She then helped   
Shinji back to his feet and led him off to a slightly more open space.   
She looked back and gestured for the other two to follow her.  
  
"C'mon," Misato said, grabbing his arm. "You probably have a lot to   
tell us."  
  
"Hang on, hang on," Touji replied, shaking her off. "Hikari, come on.   
You can listen in, too."  
  
The freckled girl blushed a little at the attention, then followed,   
taking Touji's hand as he offered it. Misato smiled again, watching.  
  
"Well then, come on, you two. Maybe we can figure out what the hell   
just happened."  
  
She led the way, with Touji and Hikari following close behind. They   
eventually took seats in a relatively open area, far enough from most   
of the buildings that other people wouldn't bother them. By the time   
they'd gotten there, Shinji had collected himself enough to be able to   
talk.  
  
He started hesitantly, but slowly became more sure of himself, as he   
explained what Dr. Akagi had told him. Rei and Kaoru were both alive,   
and resting. Unfortunately, they hadn't come out unscathed. Nagisa   
had a concussion, but would recover quickly. Rei, on the other hand,   
had her arm broken in two places. She'd also gotten a nasty gash on   
the back of her head, along with a concussion of her own. She was   
probably going to be bedridden for another day or two. The only thing   
that really had them worried was the arm; they weren't sure they'd been   
able to set it correctly.  
  
There were mixed reactions around the group. Hikari was content just   
to hear that they were both alive. Misato, on the other hand, was   
concerned to hear about their injuries. The others all had varying   
levels of worry and relief. Shinji just looked tired, the events of   
the past few hours having worn him out. Asuka helped him to bed, then   
stood guard outside to make sure everyone left him alone.  
  
Slowly, time passed, until the sun finally set. Asuka decided _she'd_   
had a long day, too, and joined Shinji as they tried to help each other   
sleep. Around the camp, everyone else also went about going to bed.   
  
But as the sun set, a dark, blocky shape appeared over the horizon.   
  
Its metal form had travelled thousands of miles in record time to reach   
its current destination. Its crew had been hard pressed to make that   
kind of time, but they'd managed to arrive on schedule.  
  
Now came the hard part: first contact.  
  
* * *  
  
"Are you sure this is the right place?"  
  
"Yes sir. The coordinates were quite exact."  
  
"Amazing," the captain said to himself, shaking his head as he looked   
out the window.  
  
He stood on the bridge of the U.S.S. _Goliath_, a massive aircraft   
carrier. Hours ago, they'd been in the middle of the Pacific, on their   
way to a friendly port in Asia. Their course had changed, though,   
after a report of an explosion out in Japan. They'd double-timed   
it here so they didn't miss anything.   
  
Now, the rest of the mission was up to the helicopters that rested on   
the _Goliath_'s deck. Although the ship had originally been meant to   
carry airplanes, several weeks ago it had been converted to carry   
mostly helicopters.  
  
And there were a _lot_ of helicopters. The captain was still a little   
disturbed, seeing so many rotating blades all sitting in one place.   
All they needed was one little screw-up, and everything would crash   
into everything else...  
  
But he'd been assured it wouldn't be a problem. So, he kept himself   
from worrying about it too much. He looked back out the window, to the   
dim coastline of Japan. It was hard to believe there was anything   
left, but they'd been informed of an explosion here not long ago. An   
explosion was worth investigating. It either meant there were humans   
here, or there _had_ been.  
  
"Should we wait until morning to deploy, sir?" one of the techs asked.  
  
The captain shook his head. He'd made a decision on this some time   
before they'd arrived at their current position.  
  
"The men are all still on Pacific time," the captain said. "If we   
wait until morning, they'll start showing signs of fatigue. And we   
still don't know if we'll find hostiles, here."  
  
"Understood, sir."  
  
"It's fine. Now deploy. I want them to search as much of the area as   
they can with their current fuel supplies."  
  
"Roger."  
  
The bridge lit up with even more activity than usual, as orders were   
given and displays were checked. Down on the deck, many powerful   
engines were activated.   
  
Some years ago, the acceptable routine may have been to send out a lone   
scout, either a light jet or a fast helicopter. But that had been   
before the near-apocalypse. Now, speed was of the essence, because   
every second wasted was another second that a group of refugees would   
be going unnoticed.   
  
And so, one by one, the helicopters lifted off from the deck, rising   
into the night sky. The captain gave them a brief salute, once they   
were all airborne. Seconds after he'd done so, they began moving en   
masse towards the land.  
  
* * *  
  
Long after everyone else had gone to sleep, Touji and Hikari remained   
awake. Touji had lived outside long enough that he had gotten to know   
the night sky very well. He could think of no one else he'd want to   
show it to.  
  
He and Hikari sat on a small rise of the turf, leaning against a   
rolled-up blanket Touji had brought for just that purpose. They sat   
next to one another, Touji with his arm around Hikari. Sharing body   
warmth, they stayed comfortable in the cooling night air.  
  
"So Ayanami and Nagisa are going to be all right," Hikari commented,   
breaking the silence.  
  
"Yeah," Touji responded, simply. Neither of them really wanted to talk   
about it; it was hard for them to think about people they knew getting   
hurt.   
  
Hikari sighed. It had been so long since she'd seen Touji. She wanted   
to talk to him, ask him some of the questions that had been bugging her   
since he'd left. But it was so nice, just sitting here looking at the   
stars...  
  
"What's on your mind?" Touji asked.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You're thinking about something. What is it?"  
  
Hikari smiled at the concern. "Well...really, what _did_ you see out   
there?" Hikari asked, keeping her voice quiet so she didn't disturb the   
peace of the moment.  
  
"A lot of dust," Touji responded, also quietly. "There just isn't much   
left."  
  
"I guess. Did you meet anyone else?"  
  
"A few people. I sent them back here. I think I saw a few of 'em   
today."  
  
"That was nice of you."  
  
"I'm allowed to be nice."  
  
"I know." A brief pause followed this statement. A comforting silence   
fell on the two.  
  
After a while, a particularly frigid breeze blew over them, causing   
Hikari to shiver. "It's getting cold."  
  
Touji reached over and grabbed another blanket he'd had folded up next   
to him. He threw it over them, feeling Hikari cuddle up closer to him   
for the extra heat.  
  
"Yeah, I can be nice," he said, commenting on his own action.  
  
Hikari nodded, turning her head and nuzzling his neck a little. Touji   
in turn adjusted his grip and gently rubbed her side.  
  
Hikari's eyes cracked open. "None of that, now," she said. "That's   
what got me the way I am."  
  
"No harm in doing it again, then, right?" Touji asked, smiling a   
little.  
  
"Hm..." Hikari mumbled. "Guess not..."  
  
They didn't move from their positions, though; they were both too tired   
for much more than talk.  
  
Hikari turned her head, resting on Touji's shoulder and looking out to   
the sky. The stars glittered in her eyes as she gazed into the night.  
  
"Hm...hey, Touji?"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Which stars are _those_?"  
  
Touji followed her gaze as best he could. He looked over the sky, so   
familiar to him now, trying to pick out what the girl next to him was   
talking about.  
  
Finally, he saw them; a few lights, sitting in between the stars he   
remembered. Only these lights were new; he'd never seen them before.   
Their color was also very different from the other stars, and they   
seemed to move around. But he was too tired to care, at the moment.  
  
"I dunno..." he said, slowly. "I guess I just didn't look hard enough   
in that direction."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"What the..."  
  
Hikari looked again, hearing the shock in Touji's voice. As she   
looked, more of the new lights appeared. They came in pairs, popping   
up in one place, then another, until there were over two dozen of them.   
  
More importantly, they were becoming larger, as though approaching.  
  
Touji heard it first; a buzzing, slowly growing louder as the lights   
approached. Very soon, it was discernible as a collection of beats, of   
air being whipped around by many blades.  
  
It was also about then that the forms of over a dozen helicopters   
became apparent, sitting behind the running lights they'd activated   
just as they came in.  
  
"Holy shi - " Touji was drowned out as one chopper came in low, passing   
not more than ten meters above him and Hikari, the wind from its blades   
blowing their hair around and the sheer noise nearly deafening them.   
Hikari let out a brief yell of utter surprise.  
  
The helicopters spread out, going in all different directions and   
covering territory quickly. On their noses, large spotlights   
activated, pools of light forming everywhere, lighting up the area as   
though it were day.  
  
Touji stood up, helping Hikari to her feet. He raised one hand to his   
eyes, not because of light but because of wind, trying make out what   
was going on.  
  
"C'mon," he said, taking Hikari's hand. They started down the small   
rise, abandoning the blankets they'd been using. A feeling of   
disappointment at being interrupted filled both of them. But at the   
same time, a feeling of excitement - and fear - of this new development   
was also beginning to rise up in their hearts.  
  
They got to the camp as other people, awakened by the noise and light,   
began to come out of their shelters. They looked into the sky with a   
mix of shock and awe, as the helicopters swarmed overhead like bees.  
  
One chopper pulled around, slowly circling the camp. A man's voice   
boomed out of speakers on the craft, somehow even _louder_ than the   
combined noise of so many helicopter engines.  
  
"What'd he say?" Hikari asked.  
  
"Uh...I dunno..." Touji said, bashfully. "He's speaking English..."  
  
"Wish you'd paid more attention in that class, huh?" Hikari asked.  
  
Touji considered retorting by saying that _she_ couldn't understand it,   
either, but decided against it. He just put his arms around her,   
holding her up against him and trying to be supportive.  
  
The man on the speaker finished delivering his message. A brief pause   
came, then the man started speaking again, this time in fluent   
Japanese, though with a noticeable American accent.  
  
"This is the United States Air Force Specialized Recovery Team. Come   
into open view. Bring no weapons. Our intentions are not hostile.   
Repeat, our intentions are _not_ hostile. Come into open view and   
allow us to land."  
  
"United States _what_?" Touji asked, yelling at the talking helicopter   
as it flew overhead.  
  
If the man in the chopper had heard, he didn't say anything. The   
helicopter just circled again, repeating the message in English, then   
Japanese.  
  
Shinji and Asuka were there, having arrived at some point after the   
first sweep. They were watching, just like the other people. They   
looked like they had absolutely _no_ idea of how to handle this   
situation. Noticing this, Touji did not feel too encouraged. He tried   
not to let Hikari notice, though.  
  
Finally, the helicopters clustered over in a small patch of ground just   
outside the camp. One by one, they touched down, kicking up small   
whirlwhinds with their blades and leaving the tang of engine exhaust in   
the air.  
  
It was only now that people began to noticed how the choppers were   
mismatched; some of them were landing on permanent skids, while others   
were deploying wheels from their hulls. Though they all carried   
spotlights, some of the lights appeared to have only recently been   
welded on. Some of the choppers were sleek and aerodynamic, while   
others were blocky and thick. A few of them had visible weapons ports.   
  
Most people were afraid to approach. Touji wanted to go and see, but   
he didn't want to leave Hikari, either. Not wanting to bring her up to   
so many armed aircraft, he stayed with her, keeping his arms around   
her.  
  
^Looks like it's up to you guys,^ Touji thought, noticing how Shinji   
and Asuka had snapped out of their surprised states and were cautiously   
approaching the helicopters.  
  
* * *  
  
The spotlights on the helicopters shone brightly; anyone looking at   
them was blinded. Shinji and Asuka had to squint just to be able to   
see. They were both disappointed at having been so abruptly awakened,   
but they were also both too excited to let that get them down.  
  
Shinji glanced over at Asuka, walking next to him. He didn't say   
anything; he doubted the girl would be able to hear him over the noise   
of the choppers. But he was able to see, even through the glare, that   
Asuka looked confident.  
  
Shinji turned back to the new arrivals, trying to copy Asuka's mood.   
It didn't come easily; it never did. But he was at least able to keep   
his composure as they finally came up to what looked to be the lead   
helicopter.  
  
The leader was a lightweight affair, with large windows and huge   
propellers. It looked like a military design, but definitely not one   
for fighting. This helped ease Shinji's nerves a _little_. However,   
the sight of a nearby Apache helicopter, bristling with missiles and   
guns, had the exact opposite effect.  
  
^Sure hope they were serious when they said they weren't hostile,^ he   
thought.  
  
A door on the lead chopper swung open. A lean man, looking to be in   
his late twenties, jumped out. He was followed shortly by a few other   
men who hung back. Shinji kept his eyes on the first man, but his gaze   
- as well as Asuka's - kept flickering out to the other helicopters,   
where they though they could see the glint of polished rifles hiding in   
the darkness of some of the choppers' bellies.  
  
The lean man walked up to them, his face a dark smear with the   
spotlights behind him. However, both Shinji and Asuka noticed when his   
hand twitched towards the handgun he wore at his hip.   
  
He stopped when he was about two meters in front of them, his eyes   
looking Shinji and Asuka up and down. Shinji couldn't help feeling   
that he was being eyed like a piece of meat.  
  
Asuka, apparently feeling the same thing, crossed the rest of the   
distance to the man and extended her hand. Shinji couldn't see it, but   
her eyes were hard and her jaw was set.  
  
"Welcome to Japan," Asuka said, simply. However, she had to shout to   
be heard over the noise of helicopter engines.  
  
The lean man looked at her, silently, for a long moment. Finally, he   
took her hand and shook it. "The name's Lewis," he said, also shouting   
over the noise. "Major Lewis, of the USAFSRT. Glad we found someone   
here." His voice, as well as the accent on his Japanese, identified   
him quickly as the person who'd been speaking into the loudspeaker a   
moment ago.  
  
"Asuka Langley Soryu," Asuka replied, identifying herself. "This here   
is Shinji Ikari," she said, gesturing to Shinji. Shinji could only   
wave awkwardly, the distance being too great to try shaking hands.  
  
Lewis nodded once at Shinji, then turned back to Asuka. Behind him,   
most of the spotlights shut down, allowing light from the moon and   
stars to illuminate the landscape again.  
  
"All right, thanks for coming out to meet us," he said,   
condescendingly. "So who's in charge, here?"  
  
"We are," Shinji and Asuka both said at once, without hesitation.  
  
Lewis blinked, the gesture being visible now in the reduced glare.   
Then, he rolled his eyes and smiled. "Should've seen that coming,   
eh?" he asked. "OK, great. So look, can we land here? It didn't look   
like there was any kind of settlement on this patch of land."  
  
Asuka glanced at Shinji, who just shrugged. "It's fine," she said.   
"So now that you're done showboating, who are you, and what the hell   
are you doing here?"  
  
Shinji grimaced slightly at her attitude, but said nothing. However,   
he _did_ manage to make his feet move, getting him over to Asuka's side   
and closer to Lewis.  
  
Lewis, for his part, just smiled lopsidedly. "Well, is there anyplace   
we can talk? It's a little noisy here."  
  
Shinji and Asuka looked at each other again. "Come on," Asuka said,   
gesturing towards the camp. "Hope this doesn't have to be private or   
anything."  
  
"No, everyone can hear," Lewis replied. He turned and gestured to a   
few of the men in the choppers. They disembarked and followed him as   
he caught up to Shinji and Asuka. Shinji, looking over his shoulder,   
saw that a few of them did indeed carry rifles and machine guns.  
  
Lewis noticed the glance. "Don't worry, kid," he said, patting Shinji   
on the shoulder. He was able to lower his voice, now that their   
distance from the helicopters was increasing. "That hardware's just   
for our protection."  
  
"What do you mean?" Shinji asked, finally speaking to the American   
commander. "That looks like overkill. We don't have that many weapons   
around here."  
  
Lewis smiled again. "_You_ don't, but we've serviced other countries   
before coming here."  
  
Asuka turned slightly, to see what they were talking about. She saw   
the weapons immediately, then turned back, shifting her attention to   
the conversation on her right.  
  
"You see," Lewis explained, "We're a special division of what's left of   
the US Air Force, working in conjunction with the Navy. It's our job   
to investigate surviving human settlements and provide aid when   
necessary. America got off pretty well, so we kinda see it as our   
responsiblity to get the other countries back on their feet."  
  
Shinji nodded, glancing forwards every few seconds to make sure he   
didn't trip. They were beginning to get back into the camp. The other   
Japanese refugees were moving back, keeping their distance from the   
new arrivals, especially when they saw the guns.  
  
"But the problem is that not every country starts up under some   
benevolent ruler and gets some 'era of peace' and shit like that,"   
Lewis continued. "We've run into more loonies than you could shake a   
stick at. Problem is some of 'em are armed."  
  
"You mean fanatics," Asuka said, looking at him.  
  
Lewis turned to face her. "Yeah, that's just what I mean. People   
saying crap like 'God's will has come and only the chosen were meant to   
come back'. So of course only _they_ are these 'chosen', and everyone   
else might as well paint big bulls-eyes on themselves."  
  
Shinji's eyes widened, both at what Lewis was saying and at how easily   
he was saying it. ^He's obviously military, I could see that right   
off,^ he thought. ^I guess it's good to have someone like around if   
there are people like what he just said. But why would people do that?   
Can't they see everyone's struggling? Well...maybe not _everyone_...^   
he thought, looking back at the helicopter armada that had just landed.  
  
"Well, we're all mostly sane here," Asuka replied, coming to a stop   
somewhere in the middle of the camp. "So you don't need your big   
toys."  
  
"An M-16 is not a toy, little lady," Lewis replied, his voice going   
stern for a moment.  
  
"It is compared to what _I_ used to use," Asuka replied, smirking.  
  
"Heh," Lewis grunted out. "I might like it here." He looked around,   
seeing the eyes from dozens of people too scared to come any closer,   
but too interested to run away. He nodded knowingly to himself, having   
seen that look several times before on this job. It would pass.  
  
"OK, great," he said, putting his hands in his pockets. Now, we - "  
  
He was cut off as his radio beeped. Letting out a small noise of   
apology, he brought the headset to his ear. After a moment, he started   
speaking rapidly in English. Shinji couldn't make any of it out, but   
he could tell there was a definite edge to his words. Lewis' hand also   
twitched for his sidearm again.  
  
He switched off the radio before the other person was even done   
talking. He then turned his gaze on Shinji and Asuka. "Big toys,   
eh?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. "You know what my men just found   
over the ridge?"  
  
Neither Shinji nor Asuka said anything, both of them knowing it was   
probably just a rhetorical question.  
  
"One of those big robots you people kept making. You just can't let   
those damn things go, can you?" he asked. "Jesus, the _world_ goes   
down, and you Japs _still_ want the biggest - "  
  
"It's a tool to help us get back on our feet," came a voice, cutting   
him off.  
  
Both Lewis and Asuka looked at who had spoken: Shinji. The boy   
blinked, unable to believe he'd actually just said that. But he knew   
he couldn't stop now.  
  
"We use it to help move large objects," he explained. "Ayanami and   
Kaoru-kun are very careful with it. We don't want to hurt people with   
Eva again," he added on. But even as he said this, he briefly   
remembered what he'd seen Eva-00 doing to the MP Eva earlier. He hoped   
he sounded convincing.  
  
"Yeah, and without that thing, we'd all be toast anyway," Asuka added   
in, not wanting to be left out. She threw Shinji an approving glance,   
feeling moderately turned on by this show of spine.  
  
Lewis held up his hands defensively. "All right, sorry. You sound   
sincere, anyway. But look..." he said, turning around and looking back   
to the choppers, while putting his hands back in his pockets. "We   
brought all this stuff over from America, thinkin' you people would   
need it. If you got this giant robot..." he said, trailing off and   
glancing back at them.  
  
Shinji and Asuka looked at him disbelievingly.  
  
Lewis turned around and smiled again. "Ah, can't you take a joke?" he   
asked. "C'mon, show my men where you got a supply depot, or just   
someplace we can deposit some of what we're carrying. Beats lugging it   
all the way back to the States, anyway..."  
  
Asuka closed her eyes and thanked whatever god was up there. She'd   
been worried for a moment, though she hadn't let it show through her   
mask of toughness. Glancing over to Shinji, she could see him visibly   
relax. ^Same old baka,^ she thought. ^But somewhere in there is a   
spine. Just gotta push him into showing it more...^  
  
"Now, you understand..." Lewis was saying, as he started walking again,   
"...that I'm gonna want some explanations. Like where that explosion   
yesterday came from. Who are 'Ayanami' and 'Kaoru-kun,' anyway?"  
  
"Well, I think I can set something up," Shinji replied, following the   
older man as they walked through the encampment. "Come on, you can   
probably start unloading right over here. There's also a girl who's   
recently been hurt. Do you have any doctors with you?"  
  
"We get by," Lewis said, his voice fading with the distance. "We can   
take a look, if you want..."  
  
Asuka shook her head at being left behind. "Baka," she said, to no one   
in particular, as she jogged to catch up.  
  
* * *  
  
Rei stood in a space of total blackness. She couldn't feel the ground   
under her feet, or even the air around her. Looking down, she saw that   
she was wearing her old school uniform.  
  
For a moment, there was nothing but silence and darkness. Then, Rei   
became aware of a pair of red lights floating in front of her, shining   
dully against the blackness. Rei met the familiar "eyes" with her   
steady gaze.  
  
"I did not want to fight," Rei's own voice sounded in the darkness.   
But Rei knew it wasn't _her_ that was speaking. It was..._it_, that   
was doing the speaking right now.  
  
Rei said nothing; she didn't know what to say. Why should a Dummy plug   
care whether it fought or not?  
  
"You made me fight. You made me live, when I wanted to die. You made   
me destroy one of my own."  
  
"You did it of your own volition," Rei responded, simply.  
  
Silence greeted her. Then, images began to flash, lighting up the   
darkness.  
  
Shinji, arguing with Asuka as they walked to NERV...  
  
Asuka, an angry, helpless look in her eyes, as her hand flew at Rei's   
cheek...  
  
"We are of the same mind," the Dummy plug began.  
  
Watching the extra bodies floating in the tank of LCL, while Rei   
herself was standing in the recording tube for the Dummy plug.  
  
"And the same body."  
  
A shot from Unit-00's viewpoint, as it plunged the Lancea Longinus into   
Lillith's chest.  
  
"I was made from you."  
  
Gendo Ikari, looking down at Rei, a serious look on his face as the   
light reflected off his omnipresent sunglasses.  
  
"My actions depend on you."  
  
The images began to accelerate, appearing for only a fraction of a   
second, then flickering to the next one.  
  
Gendo.  
  
Shinji.  
  
Asuka.  
  
Touji.  
  
Ritsuko.  
  
Unit-01.  
  
An MP Eva.  
  
Sachiel...Samshel...Ramiel...Gaghiel...Sandalphon...Israfel...  
  
"Stop this," Rei said.  
  
The images didn't stop coming. "Why?" the Dummy plug asked.  
  
"This is pointless. You are merely showing me things I already know."  
  
"These are my memories, as well. As I have said, I am nothing but a   
derivative of you, a copy of a copy. I have no will to live, yet you   
make me live."  
  
"We need you to help us. Without you, the other Eva would have   
destroyed us all."  
  
"What are your feelings on this?" the Dummy asked, as though it hadn't   
even heard Rei's statement.  
  
An image froze in front of her. Sahaquiel, looming in front of her as   
it plummeted to the earth.  
  
"Enemy," Rei responded, immediately.  
  
An MP Eva, grinning its permanent grin.  
  
"Enemy." Again, no hesitation.  
  
Unit-00.  
  
"Ally."  
  
"Yet it is the same as the thing you just called an enemy," the Dummy   
plug responded.  
  
"The other Eva was not under our control. The Evas have the same   
powers as the Angels. The only thing that describes whether or not it   
is the enemy..." she trailed off, coming to a realization.  
  
"...is whether or not it is your doll," the Dummy plug finished.   
"So...does that mean without the Commander, you and I are the enemy?"  
  
Rei didn't respond. She wanted to believe it was false. ^But then why   
is everyone afraid of me...^ she wondered.  
  
"How far will you go, to acheive victory?"  
  
"I will do what is necessary to win," Rei replied.  
  
"Are you certain? Your link to the things you called 'enemy' has been   
strengthened with this last victory. That is why we may speak like   
this. Will you _become_ the enemy, if it means victory?"  
  
Rei was again, unable to answer. She had always done what she was   
ordered to. She also didn't quite understand what the Dummy was   
talking about.  
  
"I have another question. What are your feelings on this?"  
  
Shinji Ikari's face flashed in front of her. This was a more recent   
view, of him looking at her with a concerned look, while absentmindedly   
trying to get the blood out of his shirt.  
  
"I...feel strongly, about him." Rei replied.  
  
The mental equivalent of a nod could be felt. "I know. I have   
memories of developing feeling, of affection, for Ikari-kun. Do you   
remember how you felt, smiling for Ikari-kun when he asked you to?"  
  
Rei nodded. "Yes." She said nothing more; she could tell the Dummy   
plug also knew.  
  
"Would you give that up?" the Dummy asked, its voice still calm.  
  
Rei blinked. "I...give up what?"  
  
"Would you give up that feeling? Would you give up Ikari-kun? To   
acheive victory over the 'enemy'?"  
  
"I do not wish to."  
  
Asuka's face flashed in front of Rei, briefly, before the blackness,   
accompanied by the red eyes, surrounded her again.  
  
"Perhaps you have already lost."  
  
"But I - "  
  
"Goodbye," the Dummy said, sounding exactly as Rei did when she used   
that line.   
  
With that, the eyes disappeared. Rei was left floating in the   
blackness, but only for a moment. Then the blackness thinned, turning   
to gray, and then to light.  
  
And then she woke up.  
  
* * *  
  
Rei came around slowly. After a moment, she opened her eyes,   
immediately getting a good look at the ceiling of one of the shelters.  
  
So the Dummy had communicated with her again. And this time, she   
hadn't had to be in contact with Unit-00. It was an odd sensation,   
that communication; she supposed it was something like what a dream   
would feel like. That is, if she had ever dreamed before.  
  
But her thoughts on this matter were pushed aside by more pressing   
concerns. Namely, how she felt even worse than when she'd lay down.   
She hurt all over. Her head felt like it was trying its damndest to   
split in half. Her arm...actually felt okay.  
  
She looked down at the injured limb, her eyes widening very slightly as   
she saw it was professionally bound and in a cast. It was sore, but   
not as much as it had been before.  
  
She also noticed she was lying on a cot. A clean, white sheet was   
underneath her, and she appeared to be raised about a meter off the   
ground. She tried to move and get a better look at the room, but a   
wave of nausea swept over her as she turned her head. Wincing, Rei   
leaned back again, letting her head rest on the pillow.  
  
Pillow? When had they gotten a pillow?  
  
Rei thought it over, eventually deciding that it must have been among   
the things they'd recovered from the city. It was all she could come   
up with, for now, in terms of an explanation.  
  
She stared at the ceiling, wondering how long it would be before she   
would feel like moving. If they'd found some painkillers in the city   
too, she could get up before the day was over.  
  
Her present situation accounted for, her thoughts switched to the Eva,   
and the battle it had just been in. It had defeated its opponent, but   
there had been a tremendous explosion because of it...  
  
^How am I still alive?^ Rei thought. ^If I'd been generating an AT   
field, an explosion of that magnitude would not have been a threat.   
But I don't know if I can do that anymore. Perhaps stress was enough   
to push me into projecting an AT field...^  
  
She thought it over, being unable to come up with anything better as an   
explanation. Finally, she went back to looking at the ceiling. This   
was what she was used to. Back before Third Impact, when she'd   
finished her tasks at NERV, normally all she had left to do was lie in   
her room and stare at the walls. She'd never minded before.  
  
^But...this does not seem to be an acceptable state, anymore. Why is   
that? Do I fear being alone?^ She thought about it. ^No, it is not   
that; being alone has never bothered me before. But I still feel that   
something is amiss. What could be wrong? Do...do I want something   
more than this? Do I wish to have more in my life...than Eva?^  
  
Again, she went back to staring at the ceiling. Several long minutes   
passed, with nothing to do but count cracks in the rock surface above   
her. That, and think over the question she'd just posed herself.  
  
^Eva has always been the center of my being. It is what I existed   
for. But now...would I seek something beyond that? Something more   
than fighting? Again, it seems I need to learn to guide my own life.   
This will be difficult...^  
  
Finally, she heard footsteps at the doorway. Dirt crunched under shoes   
as someone walked just past the doorway. Rei felt some anticipation   
well up in her at the thought of someone coming to see her. The   
feeling was unexpected, but not unwelcome.  
  
^It means that someone thinks my life is worthwhile,^ she reasoned. ^I   
know that is why I used to visit Ikari-kun whenever he was injured.^  
  
The footsteps receded, then came back, then receded again. They   
continued this pattern, with hesitation clearly present in their   
rhythm. Rei's hopes fell each time they left, only to rise again when   
they came back.   
  
^Is someone pacing in front of the door?^ she wondered. She thought   
about looking up to see who it was, but she didn't want to set off her   
head injury again. The pain was bearable for now; she'd put up with   
worse. But it became too much when she tried to move her head.  
  
Finally, the person at the door seemed to make a decision. They walked   
inside, sending a small wave of relief through Rei. Slowly, the person   
approached, coming into Rei's view and revealing himself as Shinji   
Ikari.  
  
"Ayamami?" Shinji asked, walking up to the side of the cot. "How're   
you feeling?"  
  
Rei blinked, meeting his gaze. She'd heard that question before, and   
knew that oftentimes it was more a requirement of society than actual   
worry for your health. But Shinji's concern seemed to be genuine. So,   
Rei took a moment to think about what to say in response, her eyes   
glancing off to the side as she did so. Shinji waited patiently,   
knowing from experience that Rei didn't always answer immediately, if   
at all.  
  
Rei finally found what she wanted to say. Unfortunately, at the same   
time she discovered that her mouth didn't want to cooperate with her   
thoughts.  
  
^I am in pain.^  
  
"I will live."  
  
^I feel fear.^  
  
"My head injury seems sensitive."  
  
Shinji nodded. "Well, you sort of hit it on a rock, we think. So you   
got a light concussion that knocked you out, and you got a big gash   
there. You'll be sore for a while, but you'll be fine."  
  
"When will I be able to move?" Rei asked.  
  
Shinji carefully sat down in a nearby chair. "They said you should   
stay in bed today, and maybe you could get up again tomorrow. You   
should be fine, though. Nothing permanent."  
  
As he said this, Rei looked at his face. Shinji was doing a good job   
looking concerned, but she could still see it in his eyes: fear. He   
was truly afraid of her.  
  
^Do not fear me.^ she thought.  
  
"Is that all?" she asked.  
  
"Well...there's been some new...uh...developments, Ayanami. We got   
some new arrivals last night." He smiled as he said this, even though   
he was trying to keep himself composed. "It worked out for you.   
Otherwise, you'd be in a lot more pain, now. And we might not have   
been able to set your arm right. Be prepared for a shock when you get   
out of here."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Well...some kind of US-something came in last night. Seems that   
explosion got their attention. So maybe we'll be getting some outside   
help."  
  
"Or transport out of Japan," Rei added.  
  
Shinji paused at this comment, then nodded. "I guess," he said. "But   
most of us just don't want to leave it behind, you know? This is where   
our lives were."  
  
Rei looked away. She knew about the sentiments of people, and how they   
often had reservations about leaving things behind. She had no such   
reservations. She had no good memories of this place, especially not   
now, after it had been destroyed.  
  
A long silence passed, during which neither of them moved or spoke.   
Finally, Shinji set his jaw, working up the courage for what came next.   
"Ayanami...I wanted to save this until you were better. But..."  
  
Rei just blinked, turning her head to get a better look at him.  
  
"Ayanami, you...it was you who activated the Dummy plug in Unit-00,   
wasn't it?"  
  
Rei tried to nod, but it was too painful. "Yes," she said, simply.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it was the only way to win."  
  
"Ayanami, you...you saw what the Dummy is. It's a heartless killing   
machine, made just to fight. It nearly murdered Touji," he said, his   
hands flexing at an unbidden memory of one particular fight. He   
paused, taking a breath. "It...it would kill _everyone_ here, if it   
felt like it!"  
  
Rei refrained from correcting him that the Dummy would only do what it   
was ordered to. She was mainly concentrating on maintaining her   
composure.   
  
^He is...angry with me? Why? Ikari, are you rejecting me?^  
  
"Listen, you...Ayanami, I don't want you _ever_ to use the Dummy plug   
again! Never ever! Do you understand?"  
  
Rei just met his eyes, her face betraying nothing. Inside, though, she   
felt her heart break. ^Ikari-kun...do you hate me?^  
  
Oddly enough, that realization, that the person who'd shown concern for   
her was now angry at her, didn't send her into a depression. In fact,   
the effect was much the opposite. She felt...anger...  
  
"Was that why you came to see me?" she asked, in a quiet voice.   
  
Shinji looked away. Rei's eyes narrowed imperceptibly.  
  
"No...I wanted to make sure you were all right. Sorry I said all   
that," he mumbled out. "But I needed to."  
  
Rei relaxed, as the feeling of anger receded. ^So...he is not   
rejecting me.^  
  
"Ikari..." Rei began, hesitantly. Shinji looked at her, equally   
hesitantly. "Ikari, I do what is necessary to achieve victory. I will   
always do what is necessary. I do not see why I should throw away an   
advantage like that."  
  
^She sees the Dummy...as an _advantage_?^ Shinji thought. He shook his   
head. "No, no, Ayanami...there has to be a better way. You can't   
always take the quickest, bloodiest solution. Lives are worth   
something, Ayanami. _Everyone's_ lives." He added that last part   
almost as an afterthought, as he finally met her eyes.   
  
They both knew what he was talking about. "I do what is necessary for   
victory, Ikari," Rei said, looking away again. "If my own death or the   
death of others is necessary..."  
  
Shinji stood up, shaking his head again. It was disturbing for him, to   
see Rei actually getting an opinion on something. It only made her   
more frightening, in his mind.  
  
"Well...sorry. We'll finish talking about it later, once you're   
better. Glad to see you're doing OK, Ayanami," he said. He turned to   
go.  
  
^No...don't leave...^ Rei tried to voice this thought, but the words   
wouldn't come. She no longer felt angry. Instead, she felt fear, at   
the thought of being left alone. She watched, helpless, as Shinji   
slowly made his way towards the door.   
  
She could not explain why she didn't want to be alone again. But   
she felt that it would be better if he stayed with her. Seeing him   
come in had made the secure feeling return in her heart. But watching   
him leave, feeling the solitude return, was making her fears return, as   
well. So why couldn't she say anything?  
  
^Do I want more than Eva in my life?^ she asked herself, one more time.   
At that moment, she made the decision.  
  
^Yes, I do.^  
  
At the last second before Shinji could walk out the doorway, a word   
finally came out of Rei's throat.  
  
"Ikari."  
  
Shinji stopped at the mention of his name, one foot frozen just outside   
the doorway, while the other was still inside. He turned his head to   
look back at Rei.  
  
"Yes, Ayanami?"  
  
Rei felt her heart accelerate. She opened her mouth to speak, and   
again the words didn't come. She closed her eyes and got up her   
concentration, before forcing her vocal cords to work.  
  
"What...what do you think of me?"  
  
Shinji blinked at the question. He slowly turned around, leaning   
against the wall just inside the doorway.  
  
"Why do you ask, Ayanami? I mean, you're a girl trying to start her   
life over, aren't - "  
  
"Are you afraid of me?" Rei asked, the question coming out with almost   
no hesitation.  
  
Shinji paused, then looked away, breaking eye contact. Rei could tell   
what this meant. She tried to keep her gaze on him, but he didn't seem   
to want to look at her, right now.  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"What'd Kaoru-kun tell you?" Shinji asked a half-second later, looking   
back at her.  
  
Rei blinked twice. "Kaoru-san? Nothing. What..." - it clicked in her   
mind what Shinji's question could mean - "...were you talking with him   
about me?"  
  
Shinji again broke eye contact.  
  
Rei let out a small sigh. ^Does he not trust me?^ "Ikari-kun, I've   
been able to notice from your actions. I am not blind."  
  
"Oh...yeah," Shinji said. He turned to go, again. "Ayanami, I'm   
sorry. It's just...what I think. I can't forget what happened."  
  
Rei felt depression start to crawl up into her brain. ^Yes...he   
_would_ remember, wouldn't he? I can't make any excuses for my   
actions...and I doubt he would accept them, even if I _did_ have any.^  
  
Shinji nodded at her. "I...hope you feel better," he said quickly,   
turning to leave again.  
  
"Ikari."  
  
Again, Shinji stopped. He turned his head to look at her, not saying   
anything this time in response to his name being called.  
  
"Ikari-kun...come here."  
  
Shinji hesitated, turning the decision over in his mind, before finally   
turning around and walking up to the side of the bed.  
  
^Why am I doing this?^ he wondered. ^Well...I guess I know it's wrong   
to just leave her like that. But she _does_ scare me. Still...^  
  
"Ikari-kun, there's something I ask of you."  
  
Shinji's brow furrowed; he was sure this was the first time Rei had   
ever asked him for anything. "Okay...what is it?"  
  
"Stop being afraid of me."  
  
Shinji blinked rapidly at the request. He leaned forwards a little.   
"Ayanami, I...I can try, but I - "  
  
He cut off as he saw Rei lift her good arm up off the bed. Slowly, her   
hand came up, towards him. Shinji could only stand there, bent over,   
and frozen.  
  
He felt a brief chill go through him as Rei touched the right side of   
his face. She rested her hand there, feeling the curve of his cheek.  
  
^I was able to do this once before...^ Rei thought. ^But with the   
other arm...and only through the use of Soryu's body. Now I can at   
least do it on my own...^  
  
"I can't change what I did," Rei said, beginning to talk before she   
thought she was ready. There was turning back once she'd started,   
though.  
  
"No one can change the past. But I thought you, of all people, would   
be able to remember something, anything, else." Through it all, she   
kept her voice soft, and as soothing as she could make it.  
  
Shinji was sure could feel his blood racing through his veins. What   
was she _doing_? She was touching his face, cradling it in the one   
hand she could still use. She'd even turned her head to look at him   
better...wouldn't that hurt?  
  
All he had to do was step away. Rei wasn't physically holding onto   
him; he just had to move, and she wouldn't be able to reach him   
anymore. When she'd reached for him, he'd felt icy fear spread through   
him. It had been so much that he hadn't been able to move. But   
now...why wasn't he moving away?  
  
He realized it then: it was the eyes. Back in Third Impact, the thing   
he remembered most clearly was how a giant Rei had opened her eyes, and   
they had appeared to be glowing, like the rest of her. That had been   
when he'd known the thing in front of him was in no way human.  
  
But the Rei touching him now...her eyes were soft and moist, like a   
normal person's. And her hand felt...warm, again like a normal   
person's.  
  
^What did I expect it to feel like? Cold?^  
  
His eyes widened as the realize that _was_ what he'd expected her to   
feel like. Cold and unfeeling, like the attitude she kept projecting   
was. But this...this was like an ordinary girl looking at him. He   
relaxed, realizing this.  
  
Thinking about it, he wondered what _he'd_ be like if he'd had to go   
through what Rei had just done. He was sure he'd have felt insecure,   
unsettled...was that what she was feeling? Was she looking for   
support?  
  
"It's OK," Shinji said, slowly. "You're alive. You're OK..."  
  
Rei nodded slowly, wincing very slightly as she felt her head wound   
explode into pain again. A fresh wave of relief, this one much larger,   
went through her. She closed her eyes, blocking out all other   
sensations except the feel of his face.  
  
That sensation was stolen from her much too quickly. Another set of   
footsteps could be heard outside. Almost too quickly for the eye to   
see, Shinji had stood up and backed away from Rei's bed, leaving her   
arm to drop down to the sheet again.  
  
Almost before Rei's arm had hit the bed, Asuka walked in through the   
doorway. The German girl stepped inside, immediately taking notice of   
Shinji standing there. She also glanced at Rei, seeing that the girl's   
eyes were open and alert. It was only a glance, though. She looked   
back to Shinji, who had just gone pale.  
  
"Hey, Shinji," she said. "Major whatzisname says he's gonna set up a   
few things with us, but he needs to talk to the two of us, first." She   
jerked her thumb over her shoulder, at the doorway.  
  
"Oh...yeah, OK," Shinji said. He looked down at Rei, who was watching   
the two of them, interested.  
  
"So, uh...glad to see you're OK, Ayanami," he mumbled out, before   
beginning to head over towards the door.  
  
"How's she doing?" Asuka asked him, as he walked by.  
  
"Fine," the boy replied quickly, avoiding making eye contact with   
either girl. "She's awake, why don't you ask her, Asuka?"  
  
"OK, fine," Asuka said, waving him off. "Now get movin'. I'll catch   
up." She threw Shinji a self-assured smile. Shinji just nodded back,   
before walking _very_ quickly out of the shelter.  
  
Asuka's smile dissolved and her eyes hardened the moment he was out of   
sight. She whirled to face Rei.  
  
"What were you doing?" she asked, sharply.  
  
"I was speaking with Ikari-kun," Rei replied, evenly and without   
hesitation.  
  
Asuka snorted. "The little invalid's trying to get some pity out of   
Shinji-chan?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
Rei blinked. "He came in to see if I was awake, nothing more," she   
said.  
  
Asuka let out a low sound that closely resembled a growl. "Then how   
come he's ashamed to even _talk_ to you in front of me? Why was he   
afraid to look at me, Wondergirl? Don't think I didn't notice how he   
was acting."  
  
Rei blinked again. "It is no fault of Ikari-kun's."  
  
"_That_, I'm sure of," Asuka replied, putting her fists on her hips.   
Look, Rei, I really hope you heard me earlier. You _should_ be happy   
with what you can get. And Shinji is off-limits, got it?"  
  
Rei normally would have looked away and conveniently forgotten Asuka's   
presence in the room; it was how she'd handled the other girl before.   
But this time, she couldn't just back down like that. Her eyes   
narrowed, slightly.   
  
Asuka felt a brief stab of fear in spite of herself. Rei always seemed   
to be giving off the impression of contained power. Only the girl   
never let out that power, because she apparently never saw a reason to.   
Had she been pushed too hard, this time?  
  
"Am I not allowed to have a friend, Soryu?" Rei asked. Somehow, even   
though her voice was the same even monotone, it carried a barely   
perceptible edge to it.  
  
Asuka paused, forcing her fear down by defeating it with anger and   
frustration with the girl in front of her. "Not _that_ kind," she   
replied, a bit calmer than she'd sounded before.  
  
"Yes, sir," Rei replied, looking away.  
  
Asuka gasped. That was _exactly_ what Rei would say to someone   
like...Commander Ikari.  
  
She walked up to the bed, her breathing much too deliberate to be   
natural. It sounded more like she was trying to control herself.  
  
"Did you...you just..." she was trying to keep her voice under control,   
but she was obviously already strained to the limit.  
  
Rei didn't move her head; she only turned her eyes towards Asuka. But   
even with this disinterested gesture, she managed to get a better look   
at Asuka's face. There was a mix of emotions there. Rei could see   
anger, a trace of sadness, and, lurking somewhere in her eyes...fear?   
Was Asuka afraid, as well?  
  
^Yes, of course she is,^ Rei thought. ^Everyone is afraid of me, for   
one reason or another. But, it doesn't look like it's _me_ she's   
afraid of...^  
  
"I am _not_ like that," Asuka was saying, in a low voice. "I'm not   
like that Commander dipshit."  
  
Rei still didn't say anything. But her expression was saying, 'yes,   
you are.'  
  
Asuka backed off, a little, allowing herself some breathing room. ^She   
said that just like...like she's my _slave_, or something,^ the red-  
haired girl thought. ^No, more like...^  
  
"I don't need a doll," Asuka said, her flinty gaze meeting Rei's   
unblinking stare. "I don't need someone who does stuff just because I   
_tell_ her to. Dammit...Rei, can't you understand? Stay away from   
Shinji."  
  
Rei considered saying 'yes, sir,' again. Instead, she paused, sorting   
through her thoughts. She thought about what she'd seen in Asuka's   
face. It finally clicked in her mind.  
  
"You're afraid," Rei said.  
  
"What?" Asuka asked, cautiously.  
  
"You're afraid of losing him. You're afraid to be alone, Soryu."  
  
"Wh-wh-_what_?! You're out of your mind, Rei. I'm not afraid. I just   
want you to know where you stand."  
  
Rei again switched back into silent mode, meeting Asuka's eyes.   
Looking into those eyes, Asuka could tell Rei knew: knew that she'd   
lied to herself and to Rei with that last statement.  
  
^Bitch,^ Asuka thought. She took a step towards the bed, her hands   
clenching and unclenching. She didn't know what she'd do, but she   
_did_ know that she was going to make dead sure Rei knew what the rules   
were.  
  
She was interrupted by someone clearing their throat at the door.  
  
Asuka froze, silently choosing between continuing with Rei and looking   
over to see who had come. Her eyes had a brief staring contest with   
Rei's. Considering who her opponent was, it was no surprise that Asuka   
lost. She turned to see who had come in.  
  
Kaoru Nagisa stood there, his hands in his pockets and an intrigued   
smile on his face. He leaned against the doorway, looking right at   
Asuka.  
  
"Am I interrupting?" he asked, innocently. "Were you having a   
discussion with Rei, here?"  
  
Asuka backed away, putting on her most convincing smile. "No, you're   
not interrupting, Nagisa. I just wanted to see how she was doing."  
  
"Ah," Kaoru said, nodding. He didn't move.  
  
"I guess...I should be leaving, now. Feel better, Rei," Asuka said,   
waving at the blue-haired girl as she walked away.  
  
"I still haven't said you could use my first name...Soryu," Rei said,   
her voice soft yet clear.  
  
Asuka developed a tic under her right eye. She took a step towards   
Rei, but then stopped, her gaze flickering over to Kaoru, who'd come   
around so he stood in between them. Making a decision, she forced   
herself to calm down, turning around and tossing her head.  
  
"Whatever you say, Wondergirl. Think about what I said."  
  
With that, she walked out. Her feet stomped on the ground a little   
harder than they needed to, but other than that, she maintained her   
composure.  
  
Kaoru glanced over to Rei as Asuka left. "Rub it in a little deeper,   
why don't you?" he commented.  
  
"I...could not help myself," Rei said, looking back at the ceiling. "I   
could not tolerate her actions any longer...and I needed to say   
something."  
  
"Risky," Kaoru commented. "But life is centered around what risks you   
take, isn't it, Rei?"  
  
Rei made a small noise of agreement, not wanting to expend the energy   
to nod. ^Choosing to live beyond Eva requires taking more risks, I suppose.^  
  
"Well, in any case, you don't need to tell me what she said, if you   
don't want to," Kaoru commented. "I can take a guess."  
  
Rei made another noise of agreement.  
  
"So...this is probably getting monotonous, but how are you feeling?" he   
asked, pulling up a chair next to the bed. "You don't mind if I keep   
you company for a while, do you?"  
  
"I do not mind."  
  
Kaoru got comfortable in the chair, as they both sat in silence for a   
while.   
  
"You know," Kaoru said, "If you're worried about what people think of   
you, you should try being a little more...personable."  
  
"Understood."  
  
"Rei, you should try. It worked for me."  
  
"Understood."  
  
Kaoru sighed and went back to sitting in silence with the girl.   
Eventually, Rei asked what was going on outside. Kaoru started   
talking, keeping his voice calm and reassuring, as he explained the   
events of the previous night, going into the day.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: Yes, I know I broke some rule somewhere by bringing in people   
from the outside. If it's any consolation, Major Lewis will not be   
a central character in this fic.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: May 5, 2001  
Version 1 Ended: May 18, 2001  
Version 2 Ended: May 26, 2001  
  
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com  
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei  
  
Thank you, prereaders: the Avatar of Dragonia, Judging Eagle, and   
Heavyarms Kai. Thank you especially Avatar of Dragonia, for giving me   
an idea to work from in getting the title for this chapter.  
  
And thank you again, Paul, for suggesting the idea of outside aid to   
Japan. 


	8. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: The characters, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis Evangelion   
are not mine. I make no claim to them. They are used without   
permission.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics (emphasis)  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 6: Friends Discovered, a Foe Revealed  
  
Shinji Ikari walked slowly to the place where the Americans wanted to   
meet. But the upcoming meeting was obviously not what was on his mind.   
His eyes were unfocused, and he was apparently only walking along a   
memorized path. His entire attention was focused inside, on his   
thoughts.  
  
^What was Ayanami _doing_?^ he thought. Absentmindedly, he raised up   
his hand, gingerly touching his right cheek with it. It felt just like   
it always had; warm and soft.  
  
^Just like her hand,^ he thought. He shook his head, confused. ^I can   
at least understand what she asked for, though I don't know if I can   
deliver. 'Stop being afraid of me.' Well, I can try, Ayanami. I know   
what it's like to be alone.  
  
^I guess she was looking for support. I can see why she'd be shaken   
up; I know _I_ would. But this is _Ayanami_, here. The girl who isn't   
bothered by anything. But she looked a little scared...  
  
^But then...why did she touch me? _Was_ she just looking for support?   
Maybe she just wanted to make sure that she could still feel things,   
and was still alive.^  
  
He remembered, briefly, the last time Rei had touched him. How, for a   
moment, her dispassionate face had actually shown emotion - anger this   
time - as her hand went for his cheek. That time had hurt, both   
physically and emotionally. But what had really made the event stick   
in his mind was that Rei Ayanami, the girl with a heart of ice, had   
shown emotion.  
  
^Yes, Ayanami definitely looked angry, then,^ he thought. ^But maybe   
father just taught her to react that way. She's always been all   
business...so why should she change now? Yes, of course. She _was_   
just checking to make sure she was still alive. That's the way it is   
with her.^  
  
He made himself believe that this was the case. He made himself forget   
how gentle Rei's hand had been, how it had felt more like a tender,   
soft caress than a desperate grasp for help. He didn't want to think   
about what it could mean, if Rei hadn't just been looking for assurance   
that she was still alive.  
  
^At least Asuka didn't see anything...at least, I don't _think_ so...^  
  
He shook his head, clearing it. ^No, no, I'm late for the meeting,   
now. I've got to at least look like I have _some_ idea of what I'm   
doing, here.^  
  
^But _why_ did Ayanami do that? Was she looking for help?   
Encouragement? A friend...? No, stop thinking about it. Meeting.   
Think about the meeting...^  
  
His eyes refocused, and he looked around, seeing he'd almost made it to   
the meeting place. He turned towards that location and started walking   
again. He did his best to keep his thoughts from wandering anymore,   
and was only partially successful.  
  
* * *  
  
Among their gear, the Americans had brought a large canvas tent with   
them. They'd taken the liberty of setting it up, allowing their   
commanding officers some respite from the occasionally harsh weather.   
This tent also served as an ideal meeting room, with a fair degree of   
privacy.  
  
Inside the tent, Ritsuko sat calmly in a folding chair. It was mostly   
an act, though. Countless concerns were sitting in her head, roiling   
around into a broth that made it hard to think. She was sure Misato,   
sitting next to her, was also thinking about these things.  
  
What was supposed to happen now? Would they stay here, relying on what   
foreign aid they could find? Or would they get passage back to a   
more...hospitable locale?  
  
On top of that, Akagi had absolutely no idea what to say about the   
Evas. Nearly every one of the Americans knew that there had been a   
huge explosion just a few days ago. So far, none of them knew what it   
had been caused by. However, they had also all seen Unit-00. Some of   
them were beginning to put two and two together.  
  
^I'm satisfied with _not_ being the leader,^ Akagi thought. ^I wonder   
what Shinji and Asuka are thinking, right now.^  
  
As though summoned by thought, Shinji took that moment to step in   
through the tent flap. The boy looked pale and a little dazed, for   
some reason. Misato's brow furrowed in concern, but Akagi maintained   
her cold demeanor.  
  
^We cannot let the Americans see us as being worried,^ Akagi thought,   
wishing she could somehow telepathically communicate the message to   
Shinji and Misato. ^If they see us as being desperate, they won't   
treat us as equals.^  
  
Shinji walked in, not really watching where he was going. As such, he   
tripped on a first aid kit that had been lying on the ground, stumbled   
a few feet, then caught himself by crashing into one of the tent poles.   
The impact rocked the whole tent, causing many people to stop what they   
were doing and stare at Shinji. They boy muttered something   
apologetic, then went to sit down next to Misato.  
  
"Hey, something wrong, Shinji-kun?" Misato whispered.  
  
Shinji shook his head, holding up a hand to say it was fine. As Akagi   
watched, the boy visibly pulled himself together, eventually looking   
something close to being confident.  
  
^Pretty good,^ she thought, though she still didn't let it show.   
^Probably wouldn't have been calm down so easily a few years ago, eh,   
Ikari's boy?^  
  
Ritsuko inwardly shuddered at the name, even as she thought it.   
Despite the new situation, this was still a _lot_ like how it had been   
back at NERV. She wasn't in control of much; she had to rely on other   
- not necessarily trustworthy - people, for almost everything. And she   
had to keep her stoic attitude at all times, for fear of what would   
happen if she decided to care.  
  
^And an Eva just to finish the deal,^ she thought. ^Yes, there are   
definite similarities to what it was like working under Gendo.^  
  
The American commander, that Major Lewis person, sat down in yet   
another folding chair, across from the other three. As opposed to   
Shinji, he looked quite sure of himself. He obviously had some   
experience with commanding people around.   
  
^Either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it,^   
Akagi thought. ^An experienced commander would know what he's doing,   
but he'd have less trouble killing someone...kind of like Gendo would...^  
  
Her chest itched as an unwelcome memory surfaced in her mind. About   
how her mother managed to betray her from beyond the grave, siding with   
her man instead of her daughter. Ritsuko ignored the urge to scratch   
the small, circular scar that lay square between her breasts, mirrored   
by a similar scar on her back. She just let them tingle, gnawing away   
at her mind as the sensation slowly faded.  
  
After a brief silence, Lewis slid a cigarette out of the pack in his   
breast pocket. He put it between his lips and carefully lit it, taking   
a first puff.  
  
Ritsuko watched longingly as he smoked the cigarette. A commodity like   
that was something they'd been going without, here. But the Americans   
were tossing them around just like Third Impact had never happened.  
  
Lewis noticed her look. Shrugging, he pulled the pack out of his   
pocket and chucked it to Ritsuko.  
  
"Keep 'em," he said, his American accent still painfully obvious in his   
speech.  
  
Ritsuko reflexively caught the pack, blinking a little in surprise.   
^Guess the Americans came out better than we thought, to just throw   
disposable commodities around. Though theoretically, with less people   
to consume them...^  
  
As she thought this over, she slid out a cigarette and put it between   
her lips, her body remembering the motions. She was about to ask for a   
light when she paused. Sitting like this, getting ready to smoke, was   
an even stronger reminder of her time at NERV. Her chest itched again.  
  
Ritsuko spat out the cigarette, sickened, as a brief image of Gendo's   
face appeared before her eyes. She looked back down at the pack of   
cigarettes. After a long moment, she finally made a decision, and   
threw it back at the Major, who only just barely caught it as it went   
over his head.  
  
"I quit a while ago," Ritsuko explained. The man nodded in   
acknowledgment, then pocketed the pack again.  
  
Ritsuko could feel two sets of eyes on her from the side. She didn't   
have to look to know who they belonged to.  
  
"I just realized it's time for a new start," she explained, not turning   
her head. To her side, Shinji and Misato nodded, smiling a little at   
the show of strength.  
  
"But I _could_ use a coffee," Ritsuko added, looking over at Lewis   
again. "Do you people have any?"  
  
Without a word, Lewis gestured to some of the people in the tent. In   
moments, he, Ritsuko, and Misato were all holding steaming cups. They   
began to relax, as caffeine slowly entered into their systems. Lewis   
finished off his smoke, checking his watch every few minutes as they   
waited for one remaining person.  
  
After a few more minutes, Asuka walked in. The Americans all spared   
her short glances, putting on faces that said 'finally', before going   
back to their work. Misato, Shinji, and Akagi, however, knew the girl   
better. As they looked, they could see the repressed anger hiding   
behind Asuka's eyes. She was doing a pretty good job putting on a   
confident face, but to the others, she looked like a ticking time bomb.  
  
Asuka sat down next to Shinji, crossing her arms and leaning back. Her   
attitude slipped a little, and she began to look annoyed. Shinji gave   
her a concerned look, but appeared too scared to say anything to her.   
Neither Ritsuko nor Misato could really blame him.  
  
"All right, now that we're all _here_," Lewis said, throwing a harsh   
glance at Asuka, "we can get down to business."  
  
"Alright, first what can you do for us?" Asuka asked, leaning forwards   
and staring into his face. "Or did you just come to show off your   
choppers?"  
  
Lewis smirked at the rudeness. The others all threw Asuka sideways   
glances, which she ignored.  
  
^So what if Ayanami's still...herself,^ Asuka was thinking. ^I can get   
by _fine_. She can just go to hell, if she _still_ doesn't even want   
to try being friends with me.^  
  
"Well," Lewis said, trying to act as though Asuka's question had been   
phrased more politely, "no, we didn't come here just to 'show off',   
young lady. We don't do that...much," he said, smiling a little.  
  
"As I explained before," the man continued, "we're here to help you   
out. It looks like you could use it."  
  
Misato and Shinji nodded slowly as he said this. Asuka didn't; her old   
block against asking for help kept her from saying anything.  
  
"Now, don't go assuming we can do anything. We can't. Problem is we   
lack personnel. Back home, we got whole bunkers full of attack   
choppers and M1 tanks. But we barely have anyone who knows how to   
drive 'em," he said, throwing up his hands. "We're still pretty rough   
with our operations, even now," Lewis explained. "We've got plenty of   
volunteers to come and work on the ground, but we barely have any   
pilots. We take anyone who can fly. That's why we use all different   
kinds of helicopters to get around. But it works. I mean, hell, we   
got here overnight."  
  
"So what are you offering?" Shinji asked. "If you're pressed for   
people, why not take us back to America?"  
  
Silence fell on the group. Misato's face wrinkled, while Asuka   
outright glared at him. Neither of the women were ready to give up on   
Japan, just yet. It was their _home_. And they didn't want to abandon   
their homes.  
  
Lewis sighed. "That's not an option, kid," he said, bluntly. "Believe   
me, we could use more workers, but America just won't have you."  
  
Shinji blinked, while Asuka turned to face Lewis, her face questioning.   
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"'Cause word's been getting around," Lewis explained, leaning forward   
and resting his elbows on his knees. "People know that whatever it was   
that happened two years ago, it started here." He paused, letting that   
sink in. "So who do you think they blame?" he finished.  
  
Silence fell again. Misato looked away, shaking her head, while Akagi   
just broke eye contact, thinking the situation over. Shinji spoke up.  
  
"But...but it wasn't our _fault_!" he said. He almost apologized for   
having raised his voice, but Lewis cut him off.  
  
"Don't matter," the American commander said. "Rumors keep going   
around, no matter how hard you try to stop 'em. People just want   
someone to blame."  
  
"Then why are you here?" Ritsuko asked, meeting his eyes.  
  
"'Cause I was told to," the man replied, offhandedly. "Me, I don't   
care who's fault it is. Not my business, you know?"  
  
Shinji quickly became interested in the ground at his feet. ^If only   
we could get a chance to _explain_ what happened...though that might be   
difficult. I was right in the middle of things, and _I_ can't   
understand half of what went on. But it still wasn't our   
fault...right?^  
  
"Now we _can_ fly a plane over here every once in a while, to drop in   
some extra supplies," Lewis was saying. "People don't seem to mind   
that as much as bringing you back with us. And if necessary, we might   
be able to fly some personnel out here."  
  
"And what do you get out of it?" Misato asked. Her face was still   
friendly, but her eyes had settled into the cold look they used to have   
when she had been in charge of three of the most powerful fighting   
machines on the planet.   
  
Lewis smiled again. He slowly finished off the rest of his coffee,   
forcing Misato to wait. "Same problem I just told you about," he said,   
lowering the empty cup. "People are coming back, but not nearly the   
whole population. We have more than enough extra supplies sitting   
around. So what else are we going to do with them?" he finished by   
raising his hands and shrugging, in the classic 'I don't know',   
gesture.  
  
Shinji and Asuka seemed to buy it, but Misato and Ritsuko knew better.   
They could hear it in his speech: he was just reciting something he'd   
been told earlier.  
  
^America's probably _really_ doing this to get other countries indebted   
to it,^ Akagi thought. ^Even if Japan recovers, it'll be paying the   
foreign aid bill for years. But we can't do anything about it, since I   
doubt we could keep going on forever the way we are now.^ Glancing to   
her side, she could see Misato was thinking along the same lines.   
Misato noticed the glance and nodded at her old friend, acknowledging   
this.  
  
"What kind of personnel?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Who do you need?" Lewis asked. "We've got a few professionals, here   
and there. We could fly some people out here for a brief visit, but   
remember they'd probably have other duties to worry about."  
  
Shinji nodded. "Well...I mean, the doctor you had help Ayanami was   
great. She's recovering really quickly."  
  
Off to Shinji's side, Asuka glared at him again, but only for a second.  
  
"Could you get someone like him out here?" Shinji continued, his tone   
of voice showing that this was just an example he was giving. "Even   
just to teach everyone some basic first aid. Could you do that?"  
  
Lewis nodded. "Yeah, we've got plenty of doctors who we could convince   
to come out here for a while. How's that girl doing, by the way?" he   
asked, nonchalantly.  
  
Asuka snorted and broke eye contact. Shinji broke eye contact as well,   
looking over to Asuka to try and figure out what she was thinking.  
  
Akagi glanced at the pair, just turning her eyes to do so, before   
looking back to Lewis. "She's fine," she said, cautiously. "We   
suspect she'll be on her feet again in a few days."  
  
Lewis nodded, smiling what _looked_ like a genuine smile. "Good to   
hear that," he said, quietly. "Sorry to hear she got hurt, by the   
way." The suggestive tone of his voice showed what he wanted to talk   
about.  
  
"All right," Misato said, standing up. "You want to hear about the   
Eva, right?"  
  
"Well, the thought crossed my mind," he said, looking up to meet her   
eyes.  
  
Misato glanced over her shoulder at Ritsuko, who nodded before standing   
up.  
  
"I can explain, I believe," Akagi said. "If you'll get Ms. Ibuki in   
here, I'll tell you what you want to know."  
  
"Hold on," Lewis said, holding up a hand. "I'm not a scientist, or   
even an engineer. Save your lectures for someone who'd understand   
them. But if you can explain in _normal_ language, I'll listen."  
  
Ritsuko considered this, then nodded curtly. "In that case, don't   
bother Ms. Ibuki. What do you want to hear about?"  
  
"What I'm interested in is what we've seen from overhead flights during   
the past years," Lewis said, standing up. He led Misato and Ritsuko   
over to a table, on which a map was spread out. Shinji and Asuka, left   
behind for a moment, were quick to get to their feet and follow.  
  
The map was of Japan, compiled from several air photos, since most of   
the satellites had been wiped out by 'the calamity', Lewis explained.   
Practically none of the cities were visible, but there was a crater the   
_size_ of several cities right about where Tokyo-3 had been. The   
"sea" around the country was colored the characteristic orange of LCL.   
But other than that, there was nothing of note on the map.  
  
"So what is it you wanted to show us? And how come we haven't seen any   
of these planes going overhead?" Asuka asked, coming up to the table   
and leaning onto it, staring down at the map.  
  
Lewis looked like he was going to ignore her. He glanced at Ritsuko,   
but then changed his mind and answered the girl.   
  
"First of all, kid, we usually fly pretty high. If you'd seen us,   
you'd have probably thought it was a bird or something. And we   
wouldn't have been able to notice a small settlement like this, anyway.   
Really, that explosion was what gave it all away."  
  
Shinji's brow furrowed in thought. He seemed to remember Kensuke   
saying something about how spy planes could zoom in on license plates   
from miles up. And the settlements on the map looked pretty   
detailed...  
  
He glanced over to Misato, who shook her head, telling him to keep   
quiet. Shinji, assured that she had some explanation, turned back to   
Lewis' explanation.  
  
"Now, what I wanted to show you..." he said, reaching behind him to   
grab a pen off of another table. "Is this here."  
  
He leaned down, nearly bonking heads with Asuka. No one seemed to   
notice, though; they were watching what Lewis was doing.  
  
As they watched, he took the pen and drew several circles in the LCL   
around Japan. As they took a closer look, they saw that within each   
circle was a dark, blurry form.  
  
"These look familiar to you people?" he asked.  
  
"Uh...no..." Shinji said. "I can't make anything out..."  
  
"MP Evas," Ritsuko said, meeting his eyes. She didn't say it as a   
suggestion, but as a statement of fact. Lewis nodded, then looked back   
to the map.  
  
"Yeah, these are the buddies of that blue thing you have outside. Now,   
as you can see, there _were_ nine of the buggers, forming a circle   
around Japan. This - " he said, unrolling another picture, "was a   
close-up we managed to get on one pass."  
  
The picture he showed them, though blurry, displayed an MP Eva   
prominently. It stood there, headless and spread-eagled, apparently   
crucified to nothing.  
  
"Ain't that a pretty picture?" Lewis asked sarcastically. He glanced   
at Ritsuko.  
  
Ritsuko nodded. "I can't explain their positions. That's probably a   
side effect of Third Impact being interrupted."  
  
Lewis nodded, then turned back to the pictures. "Anyways, _this_," he   
said, tapping the map, "was all we saw for months. These things stayed   
put, and stayed dead. They weren't bothering anyone, so we didn't   
bother coming out here."  
  
^Only come out here when your asses were on the line, eh?^ Asuka   
thought. It took a great deal of self control to keep from voicing   
this thought.  
  
"Then, about a week and a half ago, we took this shot here," he said,   
unrolling another map on top of everything else on the table. He made   
another ring of circles around the MP Evas. This time, though, there   
were only eight of them.  
  
"We saw right off that one was missing. But we figured, 'ah, must've   
collapsed, the others'll do the same thing real soon.' But then on our   
next close-up of them, we saw the others had all changed."  
  
He stepped back and looked at them. "I don't have the picture, but you   
remember they were originally like this," he said, spreading his arms   
wide. "But then they kind of moved, like this," he said, going to one   
knee and holding his hands in front of him. He held his hands as   
though grasping something long and straight, which would have been   
perfectly oriented to point into his chest.  
  
"And if that weren't enough, they'd all...I dunno, _grown_ these big   
pikes coming out of their chests," he said, standing back up again.   
"And their hands were grabbing these spear things."  
  
"Copies of the Lancea Longinus," Ritsuko corrected. "The Production   
Series Evas were all armed with those. Again, the position's probably   
a result of Third Impact."  
  
Shinji experienced a brief flashback of Third Impact. By that point,   
everything had been going to hell, and he had had no clue where he was.   
But he seemed to remember the MP Evas all impaling themselves with   
their spears.  
  
"They come back as they see themselves..." he muttered. No one paid   
any attention, though.  
  
"In any case," Ritsuko continued, "you probably don't have cause for   
worry. The Lances were too complex to build with an S2 engine, so what   
you saw was just a growth, something that probably could not even   
survive being removed from the Eva."  
  
"All right, that's _one_ less thing to worry about," Lewis replied.   
"Now on our next pass, we saw that another one of them was missing, and   
we also saw a shot of what I _guess_ was Big Blue out there," he   
continued, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. "But we figured it   
wasn't worth looking at."  
  
He looked down to the map. "The next shot we took looked _just_ like   
this one, except this white one here," he said, pointing at one of the   
Evas, "was missing. We were still thinkin' they were just collapsing,   
by the way. But then one of our other planes, on its way home, saw an   
explosion right outside your front door. We couldn't ignore this   
anymore, so here we are," he finished, stepping back and looking up   
from the map.  
  
"Wait a second," Shinji said. "With that one gone, then there would   
only be six MP Evas left. But there couldn't be less than..." he   
paused, trying to do the math on his fingers.  
  
"Eight...no, I mean seven," Asuka said, figuring it out. Shinji nodded   
in response.  
  
"Whatever you say, but the next shot showed six, not seven. I don't   
know about you, but that's a damn _lot_ of robots to go vanishing."  
  
Shinji felt his stomach turn. Three Evas...Misato had once commented   
that NERV could take over the world with that kind of power. And here,   
three of the MP Evas had just...vanished.  
  
"I'm guessing Big Blue out there accounts for one of these   
disappearances," Lewis said, turning towards Ritsuko. "Do you have any   
explanation for the other two?"  
  
Ritsuko had put one hand to her chin, thinking as Lewis had explained   
the situation. "I know what happened to one of them, but I'll have to   
think about the other one. You were wrong in thinking they would just   
collapse. Those Evas were rushed to production, but they wouldn't just   
fall apart, not _this_ quickly. Perhaps the super-solenoid organ was   
adversely activated...then it would have been pulled into a sea of   
Dirac..."  
  
"Hold it," Lewis said. "That's already over my head. You said you   
could account for one of them?" He looked between Ritsuko and Misato,   
trying to get an explanation.  
  
Misato met his gaze evenly. Then, she smiled, and gestured to Shinji   
and Asuka, who were glancing back and forth at each other nervously.   
Lewis glanced at them, his eyes saying 'they're just _kids_.' But   
Misato looked like she wasn't going to tell him anything, so he finally   
gave up and turned his gaze towards the former Eva pilots.  
  
"Well..." Shinji said, rubbing his head, "we can account for one of   
them. It attacked us, just before you came here."  
  
Lewis's brow furrowed slightly, but he otherwise gave nothing away.  
  
"You were talking about an explosion...that was it," Shinji continued.   
"We defeated it with Unit-00 - "  
  
"Unit what? Is that the blue thing?" Lewis asked, cutting in.  
  
"Yeah," Shinji replied, nodding. "Unit-00 stopped it, but then   
it...blew up. That was what you saw."  
  
"Uh...huh..." Lewis said, trailing off. "That still leaves one   
unaccounted for. Any ideas?"  
  
Shinji shook his head, while Asuka just met Lewis's eyes, trying to   
keep her cool, even though she could almost _feel_ nervousness breeding   
in the others, as well as in herself. A missing MPE was not something   
you could just ignore.  
  
"Well, it's a start," Lewis said, turning away. He went over to a   
long-distance communicator they had set up, and started talking to the   
man operating it. The other man nodded and started making the   
connections he'd need.  
  
Shinji sighed, leaning against the table. ^Crap...^ he thought. ^Now   
no one's going to want to come within a thousand kilometers of here.^  
  
"It's a _start_?" Asuka asked, obviously miffed at Lewis's attitude.   
"Just that? Now what, you just pack up and leave? Baka Americans too   
scared to hang around, because _you_ can't find something?   
Arshloch..." The last word was muttered to herself, as Asuka mentally   
admitted it to herself that there was no use trying to fight them. The   
Americans had all the guns, as well as the helicopters and whatnot. If   
they wanted to leave, they _would_.  
  
"Don't get so worked up, fraulein," Lewis said, grinning. "We actually   
expected something like this. We're not all as dumb as we look, you   
know. We figured big explosions and missing mechs were probably   
linked. It just means the pilot of the air drop plane gets to earn his   
hazard pay."  
  
Shinji, Misato and Asuka all blinked at Lewis' confidence. Then, they   
smiled, nervously but still genuinely.  
  
"Connection's ready, sir," the comm man said, holding up a handset that   
looked suspiciously like a telephone receiver.  
  
"Thank you," Lewis said, taking the offered handset. He raised it up   
to his ear and started speaking in English.  
  
Shinji glanced at Misato, his face asking for a translation. Misato   
looked thoughtful as she listened, then gave him the thumbs-up, winking   
at him. Shinji smiled at this. Misato then saw that she had a free   
moment, and walked over to him. She leaned down to whisper in his ear.  
  
"They probably _did_ see us earlier," she said, quietly. "That's what   
you were thinking about, right?"  
  
Shinji nodded slowly, keeping his eyes on Lewis.  
  
"But what he said was probably right. People probably _do_ blame Japan   
for Third Impact," Misato explained. "They're only interested now so   
we can explain where the Evas are going."  
  
Shinji sighed at this, having suspected that was the case. He looked   
back to Misato.  
  
"But they're here anyway," he said.  
  
Misato shrugged and put on an encouraging smile for him. Then she   
stood back up before Lewis could notice them talking.  
  
Shinji nodded, acknowledging Misato's explanation as a good one. He   
glanced over at Asuka, still standing at his side. She noticed the   
glance, and started whispering to him.  
  
"He's on the line with his superiors, sounds like," she said. "I think   
he's arranging for when they can have air drops into here."  
  
Shinji smiled, both at the promise of help and at the fact that Asuka   
had learned more than Japanese before coming to Japan. He put his arm   
around her waist, feeling her jump a little at the contact, then relax.   
Behind him, Misato and Ritsuko found more coffee, and started talking   
things over.  
  
^So we're going to be all right,^ Shinji thought.  
  
* * *  
  
"So we're going to be all right?" Touji was asking, hours later.  
  
"Yeah," Shinji replied, nodding. "The Americans say they can drop   
something in here in a few days."  
  
The boys were walking across a hillside, catching up old times now that   
they were back together, and had a free moment. They had no   
destination in mind; they were just wandering aimlessly.  
  
"Cool," Kensuke said, walking on Shinji's other side. "So...you said   
they might bring in some new people. That true?"  
  
"Well, we asked them to bring in some of their professionals. I guess   
they'll be coming in a few days, too."  
  
"Who're you bringin' in here, then?" Touji asked. "We could use some   
decent food, ya know."  
  
Shinji nodded knowingly. "Well, we're working on that. Let's see..."   
he started ticking things off on his fingers. "Doctors, some   
construction workers, mechanics, engineers...and a priest."  
  
Kensuke and Touji had been nodding at everything in the list up until   
the last word. When Shinji finished, the other boys went silent.  
  
"Eh?" Touji asked, confused.  
  
"What d'you need a priest for?" Kensuke asked. "I don't think anyone's   
died, yet...c'ept if you want to count that Evangelion," he said,   
smiling.  
  
Shinji shook his head. "No, it's not for that. Not yet, anyway."  
  
"Well, then what?" Kensuke asked, irritated. "You feeling religious or   
som..." he trailed off as it finally clicked in his head. Then he   
smiled slyly and punched Shinji in the arm. "You dog," he said.  
  
"What?" Touji asked, watching.  
  
"You really gonna go that far?" Kensuke asked. "I mean, you _ready_?"  
  
"It's not my choice to make," Shinji replied, shrugging.  
  
"Damn...you know, sometimes Asuka's got more balls than you do, Shinji.   
I - "  
  
"What's Asuka got to do with any of this?" Shinji asked.  
  
"You mean..." Kensuke tried to figure out the logic, making little   
swirls in the air with his fingers. Eventually he gave up.  
  
"What are you guys talking about?" Touji asked again.  
  
"So you and Asuka aren't getting married?" Kensuke asked.  
  
Both Touji and Shinji stopped cold. Kensuke took another step, noticed   
he'd been abandoned, and then turned around.  
  
"Huh?" Touji asked.  
  
"I..." Shinji said, hesitantly. Then he shook his head. "No,   
it...uh...didn't come up. You're getting ahead of yourself, Kensuke.   
We're just not ready for that, you know?"  
  
"But you're the one sleeping with her!" Kensuke almost shouted out,   
spreading his arms in exasperation.  
  
Shinji gave Kensuke an odd look, then blushed a little as he figured it   
out. He shook his head again. "No, no, it's not like that!"  
  
"My ass, it's not like that," Touji and Kensuke said at the same time.  
  
^And _why_ did I want to go walking with them, again?^ Shinji thought   
to himself. "No, look guys, we might use the same bed, but we...we   
never..." he stopped, noticing the cynical look on both of the other   
boys' faces. But he knew he needed to at least finish his sentence.  
  
"Look, we're both scared, even if Asuka won't admit it. We just...need   
someone we know we can rely on. We're just doing it so we don't have   
to sleep alone, you know?"  
  
"Doing _what_?" Touji asked, crossing his arms.  
  
Shinji resisted the urge to jump his friend. "Oh, forget it," he said,   
throwing up his arms. "You guys won't listen to me, anyway." At that,   
he turned around and started walking back the way they'd come.  
  
"Oh, come on," Kensuke said, jogging to catch up. "Can't you tell when   
we're teasing?"  
  
"Yeah, we'd know if you and she were up to stuff, Shinji," Touji said,   
backing up Kensuke.  
  
Shinji shook his head. "I hate that," he mumbled.  
  
The other boys shrugged.  
  
Shinji grinned to himself as he figured out something that came rarely   
to him: a comeback.  
  
"But anyway, guys, the priest's not for me and Asuka. But you're   
close."  
  
Kensuke thought it over for about a microsecond before he realized the   
answer. Then he smiled, nodding.  
  
"Who's he for, then?" Touji asked.  
  
Both boys looked at him, smiling broadly. Finally the light of   
realization got through Touji's thick head.  
  
"Uh..." the boy said, paling a little. "You're not...you're..."  
  
"C'mon, you know it's the right thing to do," Shinji said.  
  
"Yeah, look what you did to her, man!" Kensuke added. "You owe her   
_that_ much, at least!"  
  
"B-b-b-but I-I-I..." Touji stammered. "But we never meant for that to   
happen! We just got crazy one night!"  
  
"Cold feet already, I see," Kensuke said.  
  
Shinji threw his arms around Touji's shoulders, still grinning. "Just   
get over what you're afraid of," he said. "Don't run away. Take it   
from me...running doesn't solve anything."  
  
"And if you _do_ run away, we're gonna get Ayanami and Nagisa to hunt   
you down," Kensuke added.  
  
Touji went even paler. Both Shinji and Kensuke laughed at the display.  
  
"Oh, dammit, leggo!" Touji said, shrugging Shinji off. "You guys just   
go to hell!"  
  
Touji started stomping off. The other boys only laughed more.  
  
But he only got a few steps, before he felt a chill hit his body. He   
hugged himself for warmth as a cold shiver ran through him from head to   
toe. At the same time, Shinji stopped laughing and went to one knee,   
as he also felt a chill.  
  
For a brief moment, they both saw experienced the same waking dream.   
Each found himself sitting down, in some kind of plastic chair.   
Machinery hummed all around each boy. And then, from out of nowhere,   
blackness crept in, growing over everything like a fungus, until it   
absorbed the boys, muffling their screams as it devoured them.  
  
And then, the dream was over, and both boys collapsed, breathing hard.  
  
Kensuke looked at the two boys, confused. "Geez, what's _with_ you   
guys?"  
  
* * *  
  
Rei lay on her back, on her cot. Her eyes were closed, but she was not   
asleep. She had recently changed into fresh clothes. The shirt felt   
rough on her skin, and it didn't fit right. She'd have preferred her   
other shirt, but that one had blood soaked into it, and had dirt ground   
in everywhere. Her current clothing was at least _clean_.  
  
Kaoru sat in a nearby chair, his arms hanging by his sides and his chin   
resting on his chest. His breathing came slowly and evenly. He'd   
fallen asleep some time ago, after he'd become convinced that Rei, as   
usual, was not in a conversational mood.  
  
Rei wished she could sleep. It felt like her body wanted to rest, too,   
but she just couldn't clear her mind. Her thoughts were in complete   
and utter pandemonium.  
  
^I was able to touch Ikari-kun...^ she thought. Her left hand   
twitched, as she remembered the feel of his cheek. Her right arm,   
still sealed in a rigid cast, remained motionless.   
  
For a moment, she was there with him again. She felt her hand gently   
tracing the curve of his face, feeling the slightly rough skin, and the   
warmth that comes from touching another. Though she had not been   
touched, it was still warm, and...satisfying, nonetheless.  
  
She'd been nervous. She'd been very, very nervous when she'd asked him   
to come over, but...as soon as she'd touched him, the uncertainty had   
vanished. A calm feeling, one of relaxation and safety, had come over   
her. She had also felt...contentment. Although Rei was familiar with   
the 'calm' part, and perhaps even the relaxation, the feelings of   
security and satisfaction had been new to her. As had been the nervous   
feeling that came before. Even now, after she'd had time to think   
about her feelings, she didn't understand them very well. But she'd   
been able to work through her confusion, and do what she'd wanted to   
do.  
  
^It seems there _are_ advantages to living beyond Eva,^ she thought.   
^With Eva, life was centered on pain and eventual oblivion. Bringing   
more into my life would mean living for more than pain. Yet my   
existence also becomes more complicated...^  
  
Though her life was more complex, now, there was no denying that she'd   
enjoyed that moment. It was regrettable that it had ended so soon.  
  
^I have heard that 'it always ends before you're ready'. But...it   
ended before it even started. Soryu...interrupted us...^  
  
Her eyes opened, looking up at the ceiling. However, since it was   
afternoon, the sun was pouring in through a crevice in the wall,   
falling across her face and blinding her. Rei turned onto her side,   
facing the far wall and letting the sunlight warm her back. Her right   
arm disappeared under her side, as the folds of her shirt covered it.  
  
She let out a barely audible sigh. ^But he felt guilty. I could   
discern that from his expression. I am also making an enemy out of   
Soryu, when the last thing I need is for someone to hate me. So I not   
only make my own life more complex by choosing to live beyond Eva, but   
the lives of others, as well.^   
  
She thought it over further. ^Was I not meant to live for anything   
other than Eva? By choosing to do so, I have made Ikari-kun nervous.   
Why can I not just follow Soryu's advice? Why can I not just be   
satisfied with what I can get?^  
  
It was the most logical course of action, really. It would make her   
life, and everyone else's, so much simpler if she could just remain as   
the designated pilot of Unit-00, and nothing more. To just accept that   
Eva was, and always would be, 'all she could get', in Soryu's words.  
  
^But then again...is Ikari-kun something I cannot have?^ she thought.   
^I do not know. His sudden nervousness...what did that mean?^  
  
She curled up, slowly, until she was sitting in an almost-fetal   
position. Her eyes, half-closed, felt a little moist. She didn't know   
the answer. She couldn't find the answer, not on her own. She   
couldn't even decide whether or not it was worth trying for Shinji.   
But every time thoughts of quitting entered her mind, a sick sensation   
started crawling into her stomach, accompanied by a cold feeling she'd   
never felt before, so strong she curled up tighter in an effort to keep   
from freezing.   
  
There was just something that felt...wrong, with quitting, with not   
bothering to try.  
  
Footsteps crunched outside of the doorway. Rei perked up, her eyes   
opening as she rolled onto her back and sat up. Unconsciously, her   
good arm went back to try and smooth out the tangled blue mass that was   
her hair.  
  
"Er...hello Ayanami," came a voice. Rei recognized it instantly as the   
former Class Representative's. Her left hand dropped back down to the   
bed, and her expression, which had lit up at the sound of footsteps,   
sank back down into the deadpan look it always was.  
  
Hikari walked in, hesitantly. Her eyes flickered to Kaoru's slouched,   
unconscious form, then back up to Rei. "Did I wake you?" she asked,   
quietly.  
  
Rei shook her head slightly. Inside, she was chiding herself. ^I   
wanted it to be Ikari-kun, even though I knew he would have other   
responsibilities. Is something amiss with me? Why can I not get him   
out of my mind?^  
  
"I...I wanted to see how you were doing," she whispered. "I haven't   
seen anyone visit, except him," she said, nodding at Kaoru. "And Ikari   
and Asuka."  
  
Rei nodded in response.  
  
"Er...so I guess you're fine," Hikari said. It was obvious from the   
tone of her voice that she'd been hoping Rei would be asleep. She'd   
have been able to satisfy her guilt at not visiting the wounded, and   
she wouldn't have had to talk to the girl that made everyone nervous.  
  
Rei acknowledged this, but her thoughts trailed somewhere else.   
^She...has had some involvement with Suzuhara,^ she thought, glancing   
at Hikari's abdomen. ^Perhaps she could help me understand Ikari-kun's   
response.^  
  
"Feel better, Ayanami," Hikari said, turning to go. She stopped,   
however, as she heard rustlings behind her. She turned to see Rei   
getting out of the bed, trying to maintain her balance while keeping   
her right arm stiff.   
  
"Uh...Ayanami, be careful. You should stay in bed, the doctor said,"   
Hikari whispered, trying to sound authoritative.  
  
"I am fine," Rei replied. She saw a pair of shoes Kaoru had left for   
her near the wall. She slid her feet into the shoes and turned towards   
Hikari. "Where are you going, Horaki-san?"  
  
"I was just taking a walk," Hikari replied. "Did...did you want to   
come along?"  
  
Rei said nothing for a moment. She wanted to say yes, but her habit of   
avoiding human contact was kicking in. She could almost hear Kaoru   
repeating himself, trying to convince her: ^Rei, you should try. It   
worked for me.^  
  
She finally managed a brief nod. Hikari looked at her, making some   
kind of decision, before smiling and gesturing for her to come along.   
Rei followed the girl outside, falling into step alongside her.  
  
"So...uh...it's nice of you to be walking with me like this, Ayanami."  
  
Rei glanced over at Hikari. The freckled girl was glancing at her,   
smiling slightly, but it looked forced. Rei nodded in response to what   
the other girl had said.   
  
Hikari kept talking, feeling some aversion to letting silence fall   
while she was around Rei.   
  
"Asuka's always so busy, and she's really my only female friend. It's   
nice to have someone...less occupied to go around with."  
  
Rei nodded again. "I need to get exercise after my injury."  
  
Hikari sighed at the response, inwardly debating whether this was all   
an act, or if Ayanami really _was_ that uncaring.  
  
"Or do you want a friend yourself?" Hikari asked, trying the direct   
approach. ^Because being indirect with Ayanami would take days to get   
her to answer your question,^ she reasoned.  
  
Rei remained silent. She didn't even make eye contact. Hikari smiled   
at this, silently hugging her stomach.   
  
"So..." Hikari said, trying to start a conversation, "...do you want to   
talk?"  
  
"About what?" came the immediate reply.  
  
"...well...about anything. "Uh..." the girl trailed off, gently trying   
to probe into the mind of Rei Ayanami. "...how are you feeling? I   
heard you were hurt pretty badly."  
  
"I will heal."  
  
Hikari groaned. "Ayanami, I don't know...what do you want to talk   
about?"  
  
The only response was silence. Hikari silently chided herself, knowing   
that she should have seen that coming.  
  
Rei was not as calm as she looked, however. Behind her impassive mask,   
her thoughts were a tumult, as she tried to figure out what to say.   
There were so many questions she had to ask, but she didn't know which   
ones were appropriate, especially since she hadn't ever really talked   
with Hikari, before.  
  
"I..." Rei said, breaking the silence. In a flash, Hikari's attention   
was on her.  
  
"I...have occasionally wondered..." Rei trailed off, obviously   
uncomfortable with talking to someone she didn't know very well.   
Hikari gave the girl space, letting her choose her words.  
  
"...how did Soryu and Ikari-kun come to be the leaders? There are   
other more...qualified personnel."  
  
Hikari nodded at this, trying to get over the surprise that Rei was   
actually _starting_ a conversation. "Well...actually, I asked Touji   
about that earlier. He said it just kind of...happened that way. They   
were the first people to return, so they knew the most about what was   
going on, and they had started setting up some shelters before anyone   
else. When other people started coming back, everyone just kind   
of...thought it was natural to follow them. I guess it _is_ kind of   
weird...but no one's ever asked about it."  
  
^But if their authority later comes into question...^ Rei thought.   
^Then...what will I do?^  
  
^I don't want you _ever_ to use the Dummy plug again! Never ever! Do   
you understand?^ Shinji's voice resounded in her mind.  
  
^If their command is challenged...I will support Ikari-kun. I am not   
certain that I trust his decisions, but he has some ability as a   
leader. As for Soryu...^  
  
^The little invalid's trying to get some pity out of Shinji-chan?^   
Asuka's voice echoed, in a recent memory.  
  
^...I will make that decision if necessary,^ Rei reasoned.  
  
"Understood," Rei replied. She concentrated on controlling her   
breathing, thinking out _exactly_ what she wanted to say next.   
Finally, she found the right words.  
  
"How...did Soryu and Ikari-kun become involved?" she asked.  
  
"What? You mean as leaders?"  
  
"No...with each other."  
  
Hikari blinked at the unexpected question. "Why do you ask, Ayanami?"  
  
"You asked me what I wanted to talk about."  
  
Hikari thought that over, shaking her head and giving up on trying to   
pull an explanation out of Rei. "Well, I don't know for certain," she   
replied. "When I...came back," she said, swallowing, "they were   
already something of an item. I've seen them get a little closer, but   
I honestly don't know."  
  
"Oh," Rei said. Her voice was the same monotone, but for the shortest   
fraction of a second, her face betrayed...disappointment.  
  
^Something's up,^ Hikari thought. ^Either that or Ayanami's not quite   
the same as I remember her. Either way...^  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted as they walked into the middle of the   
camp. Asuka was there, leaning up against one of the stone walls of   
the shelters as she watched a few people sorting out the boxes of   
emergency supplies the Americans had brought with them. She turned as   
she heard the two girls walking in. She smiled as she saw Hikari.  
  
"Hi there, Hikari," Asuka said, immediately walking out to meet them.   
"How're you feeling? That Aida baka was saying he lost track of you."  
  
"Well," Hikari said, holding one hand out apologetically while holding   
her stomach with the other, "I just felt like going on a walk. And   
Ayanami wanted to come along..." she said, gesturing to Rei.  
  
Asuka looked over at Rei, her face betraying some surprise. Then she   
shook it off and looked back to her friend.  
  
"Well...that's OK, I guess, if you feel like socializing with   
weirdos," she said, haughtily. "C'mon, let's get something to eat."  
  
"Right. Ayanami, do you want to come along?"  
  
"I..." Rei said, intending to disagree. She made herself think about   
it, though, considering her choice to incorporate more than Eva into   
her life. That meant doing something she'd never tried before: making   
friends.  
  
^I _do_ still have many questions to ask about Ikari-kun...perhaps it   
will be beneficial to get on better terms with Horaki.^  
  
"I...will consider it," Rei finished.  
  
"Well, _consider_ fast, Ayanami," Asuka replied. "'Cause I'm hungry.   
I want to see what else these Americans have brought with them."  
  
The German girl gave no indication she was doing what Rei had asked for   
by using Rei's last name. She just did it as though she'd   
independently decided to start calling her that. Rei said nothing; as   
she saw it, there was no point in discussing the matter. But inside,   
she acknowledged that she'd managed to push Soryu into backing off, a   
little.   
  
Rei started following Hikari and Asuka, who nodded and began walking.   
They were about to walk off when two of the three teens suddenly froze,   
their bodies convulsing. Rei was shaken, leaning against a convenient   
wall for support. Asuka shivered, rubbing her arms for heat and   
fighting for balance as her vision blurred and a wave of nausea hit   
her.  
  
Hikari looked back at the two shivering girls. "Hey...are you guys   
OK?" she asked.  
  
Asuka shook it off and regained her balance. "Ah, I'm fine. Just one   
of those things, you know?" she said, smiling.  
  
Rei, looked up, her eyes betraying nothing. However, inside she felt   
sick. As though something was crawling around inside of her.  
  
"Excuse me," she said, turning away. "I...need to speak with Kaoru-  
san."  
  
"But, Ayanami - " Hikari said, holding out a hand.  
  
"Ah, leave her," Asuka said, dragging Hikari off. "That girl's just   
strange, that way."  
  
Hikari watched, hesitantly, as Rei jogged off, trying not to jar her   
broken arm too much. She felt a pang of worry for the girl, but then   
mentally shrugged, figuring that Ayanami could handle herself quite   
well.  
  
Rei, on the other hand, was focused and intent. Somehow, she knew   
Kaoru had just felt what she and Soryu had. And she knew he would at   
least listen, unlike Soryu.   
  
Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.  
  
* * *  
  
As the former Children felt it, another of the MP Evas began to move.   
It shook, as though something were inside of it and trying to hammer   
its way out. The copy of the Lancea Longinus was abruptly ejected from   
its chest, turning to dust before it could even fall to the surface of   
the LCL sea.  
  
A white protuberance began to swell at the stump of its neck, where its   
head used to be. In moments, the white fluid grew and took shape,   
forming a new head. It jelled, solidifying into the unmistakable   
visage of an MPE.  
  
Two red spots, right about where eyes would have been if the Eva's head   
had been built with eyes, appeared, glittering lights on the dark   
surface of the mecha. The Eva shuddered, a ripple going over its   
surface. It finally stood up quickly, raising its arms above its head   
in triumph. The rock that had been its skin cracked and began to fall   
off, only to morph into white-and-black flesh before it could do so.  
  
The red lights died off, vanishing back within the Eva. The machine   
looked around, studying its surroundings. Its movements were already   
smooth and powerful, as though it had been doing this for years   
already.  
  
The Eva raised its head up into the air, looking at the sky. Its mouth   
opened and it growled quietly to itself. As it did this, its back   
expanded, spreading out like a liquid and forming a pair of wings, of   
metal given the shape of feathers. The Eva paused, looking at the wings   
as though it had never seen them before. Then, with some hesitation,   
it flapped them, seeing that, despite their thin construction, they   
were, in fact, strong enough to bear its weight.  
  
Satisfied with this new development, the Eva rose up out of the LCL it   
stood in, the wind from its wings causing waves of the fluid to spread   
outwards as it gained altitude.  
  
Once it was high enough for its tastes, the MP Eva shifted direction   
and began to glide, riding on air currents as it sought out its target.  
  
* * *  
  
Days later, Shinji was watching the skies carefully, his eyes probing   
for a sign, any sign, of the impending arrival.  
  
The Americans had given them a communicator just before they'd loaded   
onto their helicopters and departed for the aircraft carrier waiting   
for them off the coast. A few moments ago, that communicator had gone   
off, alerting them that an air drop was coming in. Excitement had   
visibly rippled through everyone listening. Most of them had run off   
immediately, to watch the appropriate direction for the incoming plane.  
  
Yet although everyone else was free to focus on coming arrival of the   
plane, Shinji found he could not. His thoughts refused to focus,   
refused to just _shut_up_.  
  
^So...Touji will probably be marrying Hikari,^ he was thinking. ^He   
tries to act tough in front of us, but I think he really cares for her.   
He'll do the right thing.^ Shinji smiled, happy for his friend. But   
it only lasted a moment, before his thoughts turned somewhere else.  
  
^Then what about Asuka?^ he thought. ^Kensuke suggested we were ready   
for the next step...whatever that step is,^ he thought, reviewing the   
comments of his friends, both the moral and the perverted ones. ^But   
am _I_ ready? No...no, I decided on this.^  
  
An image flashed before him, of Rei's face as she gingerly touched his   
face.  
  
^No...I'm just not ready yet.^  
  
Another image, this one of Asuka smiling at him as he'd left Rei on the   
hospital cot.  
  
^Still...maybe I should have talked it over with Asuka, before   
deciding. Is _she_ ready? I can't tell with her. Wait a minute.   
Does that mean that if she's ready, I'd go through with...whatever the   
next step is, just to keep from offending her? Is that what's right?^  
  
He shook his head. He knew that it _wasn't_ the right thing, to just   
go along with what the stronger person said. But he also knew it would   
be hard _not_ to do that. He looked back up to the sky, hoping that   
would clear his head.  
  
It was then that he noticed it: a black dot in the sky, slowly closing   
the distance. He wasn't certain he saw it at first, and he didn't want   
to let himelf get excited over something that could easily be a speck   
of dust.  
  
But then the silhouette had enlarged, growing until it was quite   
obviously a plane. It wasn't much; it was using twin prop engines to   
move. But it was still flying, and it looked big enough to carry a   
signficant amount of cargo.  
  
People around Shinji visibly relaxed at the sight. Tension flowed out   
of them, as the plane closed the distance. No cheers broke out, or   
even much talking; everyone was just too relieved to see that the   
Americans were living up to their promises. That, and that it _was_ in   
fact a plane, and not...something else.  
  
Slowly, the plane closed in, staying high. It banked slightly,   
correcting its course as it headed for the encampment. Shinji nodded   
to himself.  
  
He was distracted slightly by a glint of sunlight in his eyes.   
Shielding his eyes, he looked up in the direction of the offending   
glare...  
  
...and was promptly shocked stiff.  
  
^No...it wouldn't be...it couldn't be...^  
  
But, there it was; another white, winged form. It had been previously   
hiding in the sun, and was only now coming out of its cover. As it had   
started moving, the light had reflected off of its wings.  
  
^I didn't even know it was there...^ Shinji thought. He watched,   
feeling his heart crawl up his throat as he watched it move. Even   
though he knew it was an Eva, it was different watching this one move.   
Because he had no idea of what it was going to do. It was completely   
under its own control. And worse, its brother had been trying to   
destroy them, or so it had seemed.  
  
No one else had noticed the new arrival. They were too busy looking at   
the plane to notice the Eva floating in the sky. Shinji opened his   
mouth to shout at them to get to cover, but no words came out. His   
vocal cords appeared to have failed.  
  
Shinji looked up at the plane, to see if it was going to take _some_   
kind of evasive action. But its pilot just kept going in a straight   
line, oblivious to the danger.  
  
As though following Shinji's gaze, the MP Eva swooped in towards the   
plane. Finally, a shout escaped Shinji's throat.  
  
"No!" he yelled, as though trying to command the mecha. "Leave it   
alone! Go away! Go _AWAY_!!"  
  
But the mecha didn't listen. It came in low, soaring just over the   
plane, travelling in the opposite direction. _Now_, everyone else   
began to notice it. Panic replaced relief in the space of a heartbeat.   
The pilot of the plane also responded, pulling up and trying to bank   
away from the continent in the hopes that the Eva would leave him   
alone.  
  
But the hope was futile. The Eva did a quick one-eighty, then came up   
behind the plane, matching its speed and heading. Moving as though it   
were underwater, it settled down just above the plane, and set its   
hands onto the craft's wings. For a moment, nothing happened, though   
Shinji could imagine the pilot already knew he was dead.  
  
The Eva clenched its hands and pulled, tearing the plane's wings off   
with a single motion. Roaring, it dropped the tattered wings and rose   
into the air, watching coldly as what remained of the cargo plane   
dropped like a rock, crash-landing on dry land, not far from the   
coastline to the sea of LCL. Shinji winced as the thunderous crash   
roared through the air, mirrored shortly thereafter by the Eva's   
victorious roar.  
  
He tore his eyes off the flying mech, looking down to try and order the   
people around him to run for cover. But that wasn't necessary; they'd   
all bolted already. Shinji took that as his cue to leave. He turned   
and ran.  
  
^Only thing I was ever good at, running away,^ he thought. ^It's   
suicide to fight, but...I'm running away, letting the burden fall on   
other people's shoulders...^  
  
^Ayanami...and Kaoru-kun..." he continued, in his thoughts. ^You   
probably know already. Good luck.^  
  
* * *  
  
Rei and Kaoru not only knew already, they were in motion. Riding on   
Eva-00's shoulders, they were making good time across the landscape.  
  
"Of all the times..." Kaoru muttered to himself. No response came from   
Rei on the other shoulder.  
  
"We may stand a better chance, though, Rei," Kaoru said, trying to   
keep up his own confidence. "I've been practicing over the past few   
days. I think I can control the Eva to a more complete extent, now.   
Maybe it's just a matter of experience."  
  
Rei still said nothing. Her eyes only glanced down, to the circular   
dent in Unit-00's chest armor. It had shown signs that it was   
regenerating, but this was just coming too soon. She also looked to   
her arm, still stuck in a cast. The American doctor had said it would   
have to stay that way for several weeks.  
  
^And it has barely been a week, now,^ she thought. ^We did not have to   
fend off attacks this frequently, even before Third Impact.^  
  
Their target came into sight. Unit-00 halted, as Kaoru commanded it to   
lower them to the ground. Riding down in one of its palms, Rei looked   
at the MP Eva. It was flying around lazily, gliding on thermals from   
the ground.  
  
"It's looking for something," Kaoru called out, jogging over to stand   
next to her. In front of them, Unit-00 stood to its full height, its   
head rotating to track the other Eva's movements.  
  
"How do you know?" Rei asked.  
  
"I'm looking through Unit-00's eye," Kaoru said, pointing to his own   
eyes. "It's amazing...I know I couldn't do that before."  
  
Rei nodded. The new development was interesting, but this was not the   
time to investigate scientific phenomena.   
  
"We can't reach it from here," Kaoru commented. "It's just too high.   
We'll have to wait for it to land somewhere before we can destroy it."  
  
"The last Eva seemed indifferent to attacking, until something angered   
it," Rei commented. "We must not go in expecting a fight. Perhaps it   
can be avoided."  
  
Kaoru glanced at her. "Avoided? Perhaps. But the most efficient way   
would just be to destroy it, correct?"  
  
Rei said nothing. ^Perhaps so, Kaoru-san...but if this one's abilities   
are similar to the last MP Eva's, your control will not be enough. We   
would have to use the Dummy plug...^  
  
Shinji's words again echoed in her head. ^I don't want you to use the   
Dummy plug ever again!^  
  
Rei shook her head. "Why give up an advantage?" she muttered to   
herself. "I cannot understand you, Ikari-kun..."  
  
"What was that?" Kaoru asked.  
  
Rei decided that now was not the time to be discussing these matters   
with Kaoru. As such, she conveniently changed the subject. "The Eva   
appears to be landing, Kaoru-san."  
  
And indeed it was. It landed not far from where Unit-00 stood, just   
outside of the rubble that had once been Tokyo-2. Its wings retracted   
into its body, and it lumbered around slowly, its head jerking back and   
forth rapidly. Kaoru could also see what passed for nostrils flaring   
on its nose, almost as though it was searching for a scent.  
  
"Let's go meet our visitor," Kaoru said, taking up a jog as Unit-00   
began slowly walking towards the Eva. Rei paused, deciding if this   
was a good idea or not, then jogged after the boy, her left arm holding   
her right in an attempt to keep it steady.  
  
As they reached the site, the MP Eva apparenly found what it had been   
looking for: the crater dug up by the final blast of the last MP Eva.   
The white mech moved slowly, its wings twitching, threatening to deploy   
out of its back. It got down on its hands and knees and sniffed the   
dirt at the bottom of the crater. Its snout pushed around some of the   
leftover debris; some charred circuitry and a few scraps of metal were   
all that remained.  
  
As Kaoru and Rei reached the site, the Eva threw its head back and   
howled. The sound was disturbing, being loud enough to shake their   
very bones, yet shrill enough to hurt their ears.  
  
^It sounds...mournful,^ Rei thought. ^Does it know the other MP Eva   
was killed there? Does this disturb it?^  
  
The Eva stood up quickly, looking around. Its nostrils flared again.   
As its eyeless gaze trailed over Unit-00, it paused. Almost casually,   
it held out its hand and willed an AT field into existence. It then   
shoved the field forwards, towards its blue-colored counterpart.  
  
Kaoru didn't even have the time to react. Before he knew what was   
happening, he, Rei, and Unit-00 were all thrown off their feet by an   
powerful, invisible force.  
  
Kaoru got to his feet quickly, the blow having not been meant to kill,   
only to push away. Rei and Unit-00, however, were much slower. The   
Eva was taking its time, Kaoru having to divide his attention between   
keeping his own balance and controlling the mech. Rei, for her part,   
was trying to get up without disturbing her injured arm.  
  
^So the Eva is still just as fast,^ Rei thought. ^And ours...is still   
inept at combat maneuvering.^ She finally succeeded in getting her   
legs under her and standing up again. She checked her arm, making sure   
it wasn't injured any further.  
  
The white Eva suddenly shook. It went to one knee and hunched over,   
its hands clutching the top of its head as though in great pain. Its   
mouth opened in a silent scream, as it shook even more.  
  
Then, it happened: colors flowed across its surface, like small tides   
moving in defiance of the law of gravity. The colors' shifting   
movements slowed quickly, but as they did so, the coloration of the Eva   
changed. White armor changed to black, and the black panels changed to   
a shade of pink. Its arms also became a bit more gangly, lengthening   
to the point where they were slightly out of proportion with the rest   
of the mech.  
  
"Interesting..." Kaoru commented. "What just happened?"  
  
Rei said nothing, not even to acknowledge Kaoru's question. She had no   
idea why the mech would change its coloration, apparently surprising   
itself as much as them.  
  
The Eva stood, looking at its hands and noting their new color. Then   
it grinned and turned towards the city, trotting over the terrain with   
a ground-eating stride.  
  
"It's threatening the others," Kaoru said. "I'm going to try and stop   
it."  
  
He looked to Unit-00, which immediately regained its balance and took   
off, sprinting after the other Eva.  
  
Kaoru grit his teeth at the effort this was taking. Unit-00 was   
definitely more responsive to his commands, now, but he apparently   
still had his limits. At least it could run now, instead of lumbering   
around like a drunkard.  
  
Unit-00 closed the distance quickly, spreading its arms in preparation   
for a grappling move on the enemy. As the gap narrowed, Rei watched,   
carefully. Something was wrong with the change the MPE had just   
undergone; she just hadn't figured it out, yet.  
  
Unit-00 launched itself at the other Eva. The MP Eva halted, turned   
around quickly to face its lunging opponent, and _moved_. Quickly.   
Its arm lashed out, fingers digging into Unit-00's chest as the blue   
Eva came down. Its arm flexed with the weight, dropping Unit-00 back   
to its feet even as it tightened its grip. Kaoru cringed, as some of   
the pain was transmitted to him through his link with the machine.   
  
Rei finally realized what was worrying her about the MPE.   
  
^With that new color scheme, the MP Eva bears a significant resemblance   
to - ^  
  
The MP Eva's arm stretched. Extending to over five times its ordinary   
length, it shoved Unit-00 backwards while maintaining its hold on the   
blue Eva's chest.  
  
^ - Unit-03,^ Rei finished.  
  
The MP Eva let go, finally, letting Unit-00 fall on its back. Its arm   
retracted, going back to its previous length. The MPE clenched its   
fist, as though checking to make sure it still worked. Grinning, it   
turned back to the camp.  
  
"Get the Eva back to its feet," Rei said, starting to run after the   
other Eva, if only to keep it in sight.  
  
"I'm trying..." Kaoru said, as Unit-00 picked itself up off the ground.   
He took off after Rei.   
  
Rei!" he called out, catching up to her. "That machine had very little   
trouble stopping Unit-00, and it doesn't even seem concerned with   
fighting it."  
  
"But it is still a threat," Rei replied, choosing her words to best   
conserve her breath while running.  
  
"Yes," Kaoru responded. "So why don't you activate the Dummy plug in   
Unit-00? That would give us a better chance."  
  
Rei remained silent.  
  
"Rei?" Kaoru asked, glancing at her.  
  
"I...I cannot," Rei said, looking at the ground as she dashed over it.  
  
"But...why?"  
  
Rei didn't answer. She just couldn't get Shinji's words out of her   
head: ^Never ever! Do you understand?!^  
  
^Yes, I do understand...sir...^ Rei thought, in response. ^But why   
does hearing that still make me feel angry? Just because I think that   
I am correct? Perhaps if I had more time to think the subject over...^  
  
* * *  
  
Touji, much like everyone else, was running. When he'd seen the MP Eva   
take its first steps towards the town, he'd grabbed Hikari and run his   
ass off.  
  
Hikari, for her part, was doing her best to keep up. One hand was   
supporting her ever-growing abdomen, while the other was clutched in   
Touji's hand. The boy was holding her hand a little too tightly, but   
given the circumstances, she was willing to let it slide.  
  
Around them, dozens of other refugees were also running for their   
lives. There was no order, just a raw need to survive. Some of them   
were running with their loved ones, but many others had chosen the   
"every man for himself" approach, abandoning everyone so they could get   
away faster.  
  
Hikari felt a swell of pride in her chest. Touji was just as athletic   
as he'd always been; perhaps more so, now that he had to do physical   
labor nearly every day. There was no question to if he could run   
faster than her. But he was slowing himself down, putting himself at   
risk, just so he knew she was safe, too.  
  
Touji's thoughts were not running quite as deeply. Leaving Hikari   
behind hadn't even crossed his mind; it had just been the only option,   
the way he'd seen it. He had to get them both away from that   
monster...  
  
His stomach lurched as an enormous shadow passed under them, blotting   
out the very sun for a moment. Touji was sure the temperature dropped   
a few degrees, even for that split-second it took the shadow to pass.  
  
He looked to his left and right, seeing the wide-eyed, panicked faces   
on everyone else. He also saw how they were all turning away, running   
in different directions. Touji, for his part, slowed. Deep down, he   
could feel that he was already doomed.  
  
He looked forwards, in time to see the MP Eva's feet crash to the   
earth, no more than ten meters in front of him. The quake caused by   
the rough landing shook both him and Hikari. Touji looked up...  
  
and up...  
  
and _up_...  
  
Until he was finally looking at the Eva's "face". It was just a huge   
_mouth_, with a set of wide lips, locked into a permanent grin. It   
looked like something that belonged on a monster from a bedtime story,   
not a mech. But, bedtime story or no, it was there, standing right in   
front of them.  
  
His feet refused to move. The Eva was looking directly at them, its   
smile widening. He was frozen stiff. He'd heard Asuka talking about   
how the MP Evas looked, and what monsters they were, _and_ he'd heard   
how one had attacked. But seeing one in the flesh,   
_right_in_front_of_him_, was completely different.  
  
Acting almost entirely on instinct, he pushed Hikari away. Using the   
momentum from the push, he made his feet move, starting off in the   
opposite direction.  
  
"Oh!" the girl cried out, as she stumbled away. "Touji, what - "  
  
"Hikari. Run. Now," he said, his voice dead calm. In front of him,   
the Eva watched, motionless. But the hiss and snarl of air moving in   
and out of its lungs could still be heard loud and clear. Touji turned   
away from Hikari and ran.  
  
Behind him, Hikari watched his back as it shrunk with distance. She   
was confused for a moment, until the Eva began to move again.  
  
With its first step, the Eva planted its foot down right where Touji   
had been a moment ago. The shockwave was enough to jolt Hikari off her   
feet, making her sit down hard on the ground. The mech turned towards   
the sprinting boy, and started following him.  
  
It was clear who held the advantage; Touji was running at full tilt, so   
hard he could hear his blood humming in his ears. The Eva, however,   
was walking slowly, as though it had decided to go on an early-morning   
stroll. Yet the Eva's stride, orders of magnitude longer than Touji's,   
let the mech easily close in on the boy.  
  
"No..." Hikari mumbled, not moving from her seat on the ground. She   
raised her voice, desperation fueling her. "NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE!"  
  
The Eva didn't listen. Even as Hikari was yelling at it, it had come   
right up to Touji. While walking, it leaned down, its hand reaching   
for him. Touji's blood went cold as he saw the huge black fingers   
extending past him.  
  
In a flash, the monster's fingers touched the boy. They grasped him   
with the strength of metal come to life, pinning Touji's arms to his   
sides and lifting him off the ground. Slowly, the MP Eva brought the   
boy up, until he was level with its eyeless gaze. Touji was sure his   
heart stopped, as he watched the monstrosity peer at him. Its   
expression - if it could be called that - appeard similar to the   
sadistic look that a child gives to a fly whose wings it has just   
plucked, and is writhing helplessly in its hand.  
  
Slowly, the MP Eva's mouth began to open, as if to consume the boy   
within its hold. It finally clicked it Touji's mind that this was the   
end. A scream found its way out of his throat, as he was raised even   
higher into the air. He struggled at his bonds, writhing about for all   
he was worth, but the Eva's grip was much too strong. It was as though   
he were encased in concrete all the way up to his neck.  
  
It was then that he made the mistake of looking down, right into the   
demon-mech's maw. The beast did not move to please its appetite yet;   
rather, it continued opening its mouth, wider and wider until it was   
clear that it was anatomically impossible to do so any further.  
  
Yet still it opened, jawbones cracking and twisting, the swollen gray   
tongue dangling out of the dark throat until the jaws were forced apart   
at a reflex angle. The horrific disfiguration continued, until the   
tounge was pushed entirely out of the monster's head, falling limply on   
the ground as the jaws were forced farther and farther apart.   
  
Down in the creature's throat, a bulge appeared. The bulge was   
obviously metallic, and possessed the same coloration as the Eva's new   
skin. It thrust forwards, its girth being too much for the Eva's head   
even at its current state of expansion. The Eva's head exploded into a   
fountain of blood. Touji nearly retched out his guts on the spot. Now   
freed, the bulge came into full view.   
  
It was actually a new head. This one was much more humanoid in shape;   
so much so, in fact, that it had a much more discernible face. Touji   
stopped screaming, as he saw the face. He had only seen that face once   
before, in another life.  
  
"NO! NOT YOU AGAIN!" he screamed, in stark fear at the memory and the   
present reality shown in what sat before him.  
  
The new head had 2 white eyes, frozen in demonic intimidation, capped   
by a large gray metal piece that covered the bridge of its nose.   
Somehow, Touji could see recognition ignite in those eyes, as they   
mirrored his own reaction in their reflective surfaces. How could that   
_thing_ inside know him? It had been destroyed...  
  
The regenerated visage of Unit-03 opened its new mouth. Its jaws were   
replete with large crimson teeth, colored so as if it had recently   
feasted on the living. Pink spittle dripped from its mouth, the beast   
salivating in anticipation of its meal. It had devoured the boy's mind   
once, and would devour this tasty morsel again, in mind, body and soul,   
for all time.  
  
Touji screamed again as the hand holding him began to lower into the   
dark cavern of the Eva's mouth.  
  
Just before he sank between the jaws, a flash of light hummed through   
the air. The Eva looked down from its meal just in time to see a knife   
the size of a tractor trailer plunge into its chest.  
  
The Eva roared in pain. The Prog knife was at full charge, its blade   
glowing like a minature sun as it scorched the Eva's flesh. The Eva   
unclenched its fists and grabbed at the knife. In doing so, it let   
Touji fall.  
  
Touji, for his part, slammed his eyes shut and waited for the end. He   
was going to die, he knew it. If not by getting eaten, then by the   
impending impact with the ground. But he only fell a little further   
before the world rippled around him. He felt the air suddenly lose all   
velocity, the shock of it making him open his eyes.  
  
He saw that he was still falling, but at a much more controlled   
velocity. He reached a distance of no more than half a meter before   
the AT field around him dissolved. He fell to the dirt with a loud   
'thud'.  
  
He rolled onto his back and looked up in time to see the treads on the   
underside of Unit-00's foot pass over him. He didn't even have the   
energy to curse as the foot continued on, crashing down several meters   
beyond him. Its partner followed soon after, and for a moment Touji   
was granted a vertical view of the blue Eva as it strode over him. As   
it moved, the air rippled around it, the AT field it had been using for   
a makeshift landing cushion wrapping itself back around its owner.  
  
Unit-00's left shoulder pauldron snapped closed. Meanwhile, the black   
Eva squealed in pain as it ripped the massive vibroblade out of its   
body. Disgusted, it threw the weapon away. It glanced at Touji, then   
turned its gaze up to Unit-00's head. Its metallic lips curled back   
into a snarl, as it realized the blue Eva was going to keep getting in   
its way.  
  
The enemy Eva dropped into a combat stance, its over-long arms   
spreading wide as it circled around. Unit-00 didn't let it circle, as   
that would allow it to get to Touji. Instead, it bent over and   
charged.  
  
It didn't get very far. The MP Eva's arms lashed out, stretching over   
the distance and grabbing onto Unit-00's shoulders. It turned quickly,   
its limbs straining with the weight. Unit-00 was whipped off of its   
feet and slung through the air, until the MPE finally let it go,   
allowing it to crash-land hundreds of meters away. The blue Eva   
tumbled across the dirty landscape, throwing up fans of dirt three   
stories into the air.  
  
Some distance away, Kaoru's breath caught, and he coughed violently,   
holding his shoulders in empathic response. Breathing hard, he forced   
the Eva back to its feet.  
  
In another location, closer to the battlefield, Rei was watching.   
She'd expected the Eva to turn towards Touji again after it had thrown   
its attacker away, but instead, the Eva was standing there waiting,   
watching its opponent move.  
  
^It wants to make sure Unit-00 is destroyed, before it continues,^ Rei   
reasoned.  
  
Kaoru finally succeeded in getting the Eva up. The mech ran again,   
covering the distance quickly. ^This time,^ Kaoru told himself. ^This   
time, I am ready for the arm attack. It may be fast, but its power   
comes mostly from surprise.^  
  
The MPE's arms didn't move, though. They just hung limply at the Eva's   
sides. Unit-00 didn't let up, didn't let it try and set up any kind of   
trap. As soon as it was close enough, it lunged at the MPE.  
  
It never made contact. An AT field formed under the MPE's feet,   
literally blasting it off the ground and throwing it into the air like   
a rag doll. Unit-00, already in midair, could not course-correct and   
crash-landed again, plowing a deep rut into the ground with its face.  
  
Unit-00 rolled over just in time to see the MPE had deployed its wings   
and taken control of its flight. The wings were unaffected by the   
altered coloration of the MPE, and remained pure white in color,   
highlighting the drastic changes to the Eva. The wings swept back, and   
the MPE dove.  
  
Kaoru knew he didn't have enough time to get Unit-00 to its feet. He   
improvised quickly, raising Unit-00's AT field on the spot. The MPE   
slammed into the field, sending out the glowing hexagonal pattern   
across the landscape. Luckily for Kaoru, the attack didn't hit with   
nearly as much force as the last MPE had used; apparently it had  
been trying for an improvised tackle, instead of an all-out dive bomb.   
As such, the weak AT field Kaoru could make Unit-00 generate was enough   
to stop it.  
  
Unit-00 got its legs under the MPE and kicked, shoving it away in a   
tustle of feathers and limbs. The MPE retracted its wings, not wanting   
to bother with them any longer. It extended one arm, touching the   
ground and giving it a handhold to turn itself in midair. The MPE   
succeeded in this maneuver, and landed on its feet as its arm snapped   
back to its normal length. It began to advance on Unit-00, its   
midnight-colored hands clenching into fists.  
  
Kaoru nodded to himself as he saw the enemy advancing. The MPE/Unit-03   
chimera of an Eva had quite obviously hav given up on assaulting humans   
for now. Kaoru took advantage of the situation, making Unit-00 turn   
tail and run. ^If it's focused on me, now,^ he reasoned, ^then  
I can lead it away from human settlement. I just have to get some   
distance, now...^  
  
Unit-00 never made it. One of the MPE's arms lashed out, grabbing the   
blue Eva's ankle and sending it face-down into the earth. The MPE   
tightened its grip into iron, cutting off the circulation to that foot.   
It began to retract that arm, dragging Unit-00 along with it. The MPE   
growled in anticipation.  
  
Unit-00's fingers dug into the ground, fighting the pull. But it was   
like fighting gravity; the MPE was just too strong. Unit-00 only   
succeeded in leaving ten long ruts in the terrain where its fingers   
tried to grab.  
  
It turned its head back and forth, looking for a better handhold.   
Kaoru, looking through the Eva's optics, noticed something: the way it   
was being dragged, it was going to go right past the abandoned Prog   
knife! All the Eva had to do was reach that weapon, and it would have   
a chance...  
  
The knife, unfortunately, was just a _little_ too far away to reach   
easily. Unit-00 reached out, its arm creaking and its body contorting   
as it tried to extend its reach as far as possible. Its fingers   
brushed the knife's grip.  
  
But then, a black fist wrapped around the knife's grip, snatching it   
away like a parent would wrest a toy from a disobedient child. Unit-00   
rolled over, so that it was now being dragged on its back. Its   
cyclopean eye looked up, in time to see the MPE's free arm retracting.   
It its fist, it clutched the stolen knife. Worse, it was holding onto   
it instead of throwing it away. It apparently intended to use the   
knife on its very owner.  
  
Kaoru struggled even more, doing his best to fight off the pain and   
panic that were filling him. It was bad enough having to put up with   
an Eva that was stronger and faster, and could fly to boot. If it had   
the Prog knife, too...  
  
Suddenly, an explosion went off in his brain. It felt as though   
someone had cut his skull open with a chainsaw. The world turned to   
sheer pain, his vision blurring to a flash of white. And then, the   
white turned to black, as he collapsed.  
  
^It was necessary,^ Rei told herself, glancing back at Kaoru's already-  
limp form. She looked back to Unit-00, which had begun to move a   
little more...aggressively.  
  
Unit-00 rolled forwards, moving more quickly than the MPE could retract   
its arm. As such, it successfully got to its feet. Its eye glowed   
brightly as it charged for a third time.  
  
The MPE could not react as it had before. Its arms were already   
occupied, and its wings would not be strong enough to carry Unit-00   
along with it. However, it was still able to lash out with the knife   
as Unit-00 finally closed to melee distance. The Prog knife in its   
free hand dug into Unit-00's abdomen, striking flesh underneath and   
sending out a spray of blood that soaked both fighters.   
  
But the MPE did not have time to relish the taste of victory.  
  
It did not have time, because Unit-00 had attacked at the same moment   
as it was being stabbed. All of the blue Eva's strength, along with   
its accumulated momentum, went into a single punch, impacting in the   
MPE's chest.  
  
Unit-00's fist penetrated through the black armor-flesh of the MPE, raw   
physical power making up for the lack of a cutting edge. The huge fist   
pushed through the Eva's guts, before hitting and penetrating armor   
again, coming out the MPE's back.  
  
The MPE screeched in agony, as a veritable river of blood poured out of   
it. It stabbed Unit-00 again and again. Unit-00 didn't seem to suffer   
from the troublesome sensation of 'pain,' though. Unfazed, it grabbed   
onto the MPE's knife hand with its free arm, stopping it before it   
could cause more damage. It began to squeeze, both of them fighting   
for supremacy.  
  
Meanwhile, Unit-00 shoved other its arm further into the MPE, going in   
past its elbow. Its hand, covered in flesh and gore, reached up,   
shakily.  
  
The MPE lost the strength contest, the pain flooding its mind making it   
lose concentration. Unit-00 tore the knife out of its opponent's hand.   
Meanwhile, the MPE tried to yank Unit-00 off its feet again, using the   
hand that was still wrapped around its opponent's ankle. Unit-00 had   
already braced itself, however, and the attempt was in vain.  
  
Unit-00's hand reached further, finding its target. It grabbed onto   
the back of the MPE's recently-grown skull, fingers digging into flesh   
and bone. It pulled backwards, lifting the MPE's chin up and exposing   
its neck. Unit-00 set to work, lifting up the knife and bringing it to   
the exposed neck.  
  
The MPE finally relinquished its hold on Unit-00's ankle. Its hand,   
now freed, lashed up and grabbed the blue Eva's face. One of the pink   
panels on its arm began to flow, as though melting. The pink fluid   
crawled up the black arm, touching Unit-00's head and sinking in. Blue   
armor cracked and vein-like protrusions appeared, as signs of the   
invasion.  
  
Unit-00 didn't even notice. Working blind now that the MPE's hand was   
over its eye, it plunged the knife into its opponent's neck. The MPE   
screamed as blood geysered out, raining down on both the Evas and the   
battlefield around them.  
  
The invasion of Unit-00 was spreading. The veins were reaching down   
its neck and into its shoulders, now. But Unit-00 kept cutting,   
reaching further back with the knife. It paused, as though gathering   
itself, then finished it with one broad slash of unbelieveable   
strength.  
  
The MPE froze, shuddering. Then, it went limp. Unit-00 let go of the   
Unit-03 copycat head, which promptly fell off the neck, landing on the   
ground with a clang, accompanied by a wet squelching noise. Unit-00   
viciously tore its arm out of the MPE's chest, allowing the black body   
to fall to the ground. As it did so, the invasion of Unit-00 stopped,   
the pink fluid hardening and breaking off as though it were glass.   
  
Unit-00 stomped on the head as though it were a mere insect, sending   
brains and teeth spraying out in all directions. Then it got down onto   
its knees, straddling the downed MPE. Its opponent wasn't finished,   
yet; the MPE was still twitching, its S2 organ trying desperately to   
reactivate it. Unit-00's eye, unmarred by the cracked, veined   
condition of the rest of its head, scanned over the MPE, searching.   
Finally, it found what it was looking for. It raised the knife up into   
the air, and, with one final thrust, sent the blade directly into the   
MPE's guts.  
  
The hot blade sliced through armor as though it were butter. It cut   
through blood vessels, organs, and nerves, until it finally found its   
target. It hit the red orb at the heart of the MPE dead-center,   
cutting into it and sinking in deep. The MPE immediately exploded,   
Unit-00 vanishing in the flash of light.  
  
Rei watched, as the blast covered the whole area. Touji, Hikari, and   
many others vanished in the blinding light. She closed her eyes and   
shuddered at the sight.  
  
^It needed to be done,^ she thought to herself. ^There was no way to   
avoid - ^  
  
Her thoughts were cut off as the shockwave hit her. She was pushed   
down, surprised that it had been able to reach her even at this   
distance. Pain flooded her, her body contorting with the sensation.   
But it only lasted a second. Just as suddenly as it had come, the pain   
left.   
  
But it left a cold feeling. A cold that didn't attack from the   
outside, but which had seemingly taken up residence _inside_ of her.   
It felt as though her bones had turned to ice, and were slowly freezing   
the rest of her, as well.  
  
Rei looked down at herself, to see if she could do anything. This   
coldness was not normal, she knew. She had to do something...  
  
Her thoughts stopped, though, as she looked at herself. She was   
glowing. Her skin had become luminescent, glowing a strong white. And   
her body felt cold and lifeless.  
  
The cold feeling finally crawled up into her brain, freezing it just as   
it had frozen her bones. The world went dark, and Rei collapsed.  
  
* * *  
  
Not far from the shore of Japan, an AT field came into existence. It   
strengthened quickly. LCL quickly responded to the commands of the   
unseen controller, focusing on one point. It began to alter its   
composition, sorting out its sundry particles as per what was   
necessary. A depression sank into the LCL, forming a gooey, liquid   
crater.  
  
Bones formed, then hardened into a skeleton. Organs took shape, first   
as globs of LCL, then becoming more discernible: a stomach, brain,   
eyes, heart, and so on all soon became obvious. Bundles of fibers   
spread over it all, forming muscles. Then nerves grew, tiny   
capillaries growing like vines and spreading throughout the body.   
Finally, skin and hair grew, spreading out in patches until they   
covered the whole form.  
  
The body's eyes opened, as the soul took command of it. And as that   
happened, the depression in the LCL broke, like a bubble.  
  
SPLASH.  
  
* * *  
  
Kensuke Aida was nearly panicking, as he ran over the hilly terrain.   
Every few seconds, he'd look over his shoulder, at the two Evas engaged   
in combat. The black one looked to be impaled on Unit-00's arm, but   
somehow, it was still moving.  
  
^Oh, man,^ he thought. ^I thought this day was going to be a step _up_   
in life! Then we get a plane crash, and an Eva fight. I hope   
everyone's OK...^  
  
He was cut off by a boom of thunder, reminiscent of one he'd heard just   
a week ago. He turned around, just in time to see the billowing   
mushroom cloud and the flash of blinding light that signified an Eva's   
death.  
  
His pulse accelerated. ^Did we win?^ he thought. ^Please tell me that   
other Eva didn't beat us...^  
  
Finally, the smoke cleared enough to show one of the mechs was still   
standing. As the dust settled, the blurry outline of the mech became   
more distinct, until it became apparent that Unit-00 was still   
standing.  
  
He let out a sigh of relief, as the blue mech stepped back from the   
blast crater. It had obviously taken some damage in the battle;   
Kensuke could see the cracked armor on its head and shoulders, even at   
this distance.  
  
He watched as Unit-00 powered down once more. ^I hope everyone's OK,^   
he thought. ^But still, I managed to see the Evas up close...^  
  
He looked up, blinking and staring at the sky. ^The Eva came from the   
sky, just like the last one...I wonder if we'll be seeing anything else   
from that direction?^  
  
He remembered the time he'd watched Unit-01 fight that flying monster.   
He'd thought it would be cool to see that, but instead it had been one   
of the most frightening experiences of his life. Seeing another Eva   
fight drift right into what had become his home had been no less   
frightening. He felt ashamed for having run away, but he hadn't wanted   
to stay around.  
  
He was still a little shaken. He needed to clear his mind. He turned   
and started walking away from the camp. It was a good twenty-minute   
walk, but he made it to the coast of the sea of LCL. There, he sat   
down. He looked out over the orange surface, and let out a brief sigh.  
  
^I wonder how many people would actually come back, anyway?^ he   
thought, mentally changing the subject off of Evas. ^Half? A third?   
I dunno...kinda makes you wonder how many people would choose the easy   
way, fantasy or not...^  
  
His lips curled into a faint smile as he remembered the glimpse of   
_his_ perfect world. He'd been the commander of an elite squadron of   
giant mechs. None of his men had ever died under his expert command,   
and they'd defended Tokyo...  
  
He leaned back, lying on the ground and crossing his hands behind his   
head. ^Yeah, that was nice,^ he thought. ^But I knew it was a dream.   
Just took me a while to want to wake up from it.^  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by a barely audible noise, of someone   
crying out in pain.  
  
He sat up quickly, straightening his glasses and looking out over the   
landscape. A while back, he might have just passed the noise off as a   
figment of his imagination, but caring for Hikari had taught him   
otherwise. He'd soon become proficient at picking up on every little   
moan and groan from the girl. And now, he was hearing someone else...  
  
His eyes panned around, until it: a girl, lying face-down in the sand,   
seemingly having ridden in on the tide.  
  
Kensuke jumped to his feet and ran down to the beach, fighting for   
balance. He stumbled on a rock and finally fell, tumbling onto the   
beach in a storm of sand and whirling limbs. He got up quickly,   
dusting himself off and readjusting his glasses. He jogged out to the   
LCL tide.   
  
As he got closer, he became more assured that he wasn't seeing things.   
Someone was _really_there_. Maybe she'd...just returned, from the   
LCL...  
  
He knew he had to do something; he knew how it felt to come back. You   
were left tired, disoriented, dizzy, and above all, lonely. It was a   
necessary side effect of leaving a collective consciousness, choosing   
individuality instead of safety.  
  
The girl was only barely moving, having still not come out of her face-  
down position in the sand. In addition, she was naked. Kensuke did   
his best not to look where he shouldn't, but it was difficult. To keep   
her warm, as well as to make it easier to keep his hormones in check,   
he shucked off his jacket and slung it over her.  
  
The girl shuddered at the contact, her hands clenching weakly into   
fists. She levered herself up onto her forearms, exposing her face to   
the air. Looking at her, Kensuke guessed that she was actually about   
his age. He'd first thought she was much older, since her hair was   
almost pure white.   
  
The girl tried to breathe, and quickly found that it was very hard to   
breath _air_ when your lungs were full of _LCL_. She choked and   
spluttered, eventually figuring out the trick to it and coughing up the   
fluid in her lungs. She finally took a breath, shivering as the cold   
air flowed into her. Unconsciously, she pulled Kensuke's jacket   
tighter around her.  
  
She blinked a moment later, her brow furrowing. She released the   
jacket, letting it fall open and forcing Kensuke to look away. She   
looked at her hands.  
  
They were just ordinary hands for a teenage girl; the skin was slightly   
tanned, but also smooth and unblemished. She flexed her hands, turning   
them over to look at the backs, then over again to see the palms.  
  
Kensuke risked a glance down at her, to see what she was doing. He was   
a little hesitant to look too far down, but he managed to see the   
relieved smile on the girl's face.  
  
The girl laughed, a ringing, melodious sound. She rolled over onto her   
back, staring at the sky and still laughing. She held her arms up in   
triumph. Then, she started studying her arms, as though she'd never   
seen them before.  
  
Kensuke figured he'd better do something about this, just so she didn't   
go crazy on him. He knelt down next to her. "Hey, there..." he said,   
slowly.  
  
The girl jumped at his voice, rolling away from him and trying to get   
to her feet. Her body, however, was still weak, and could not support   
the move. So instead of running, she collapsed back down onto her   
face.  
  
Kensuke averted his eyes again; with that rolling move, she'd left his   
jacket behind. He decided to let it be for a moment, at least until   
she stopped trying to get away. He moved over to her and lightly   
touched her back. The girl squirmed, but was unable to run.  
  
"Hey, hang on, calm down," he said. "I'm not going to hurt you."  
  
The girl finally stopped struggling. She turned, looking up at him.   
Recognition flickered over her face. Kensuke also finally got a good   
look at her eyes: they were colored a deep pink. That in itself was   
odd, but he decided to let it slide, for now.  
  
"Hey, can you understand Japanese?" he asked. He mentally reviewed the   
other languages he'd studied in school, wishing he'd paid more   
attention in those classes.  
  
The girl nodded slowly, her smile widening again. "Lilum..." she   
said, slowly. She coughed, her eyes widening as she heard her own   
voice. "Lilum..." she said again, more confidently. Her smile   
widened, revealing perfect teeth.  
  
"Is that your name?" Kensuke asked, pulling his hand back and trying   
his best to keep his calm. ^Just my luck if she came back stoned,^ he   
thought, remembering her actions up to this point.  
  
The girl shook her head. "A...Ah..." she said, trying to get her   
tongue to work right.  
  
"Ah..." Kensuke repeated, trying to encourage her. "C'mon, at least   
tell me your name."  
  
"Ah...Air..."  
  
Kensuke did his best to look supportive, seeing she was struggling to   
get the words out.   
  
The girl nodded resolutely. She took a deep breath and let it out   
slowly, shivering again. Finally, through a sheer effort of will, she   
forced her mouth and vocal cords to work correctly.  
  
"Ar...Arael..."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: Yes, that _is_ who you think it is. I'd suggest you read the   
side story to this one.  
  
Don't worry, I'll be telling you more of the aftermath of this mech   
fight in the next chapter. I just wanted to end this chapter on a high   
note.  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: May 5, 2001  
Version 1 Ended: May 27, 2001  
Version 2 Ended: June 12, 2001  
  
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com  
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei  
  
Thank you, Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and Judging Eagle, for   
prereading my fic. Thank you especially Judging Eagle, for giving me   
the idea for the title of this chapter. Also an extra thanks goes to   
Avatar of Dragonia, for having given me suggestions for so many things   
I wouldn't have thought of otherwise. 


	9. Shedding Broken Wings

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Foreword: This should clear up a few things. However, there are a few   
notes I suggest you read:  
  
"rei" is Japanese for "zero". Here, you can assume that if someone   
uses "Zero" as a name, they are saying the word Zero, instead of Rei.  
  
The Angels, by number:  
  
1.) Adam 7.) Israfel13.) Bardiel  
2.) Lilith 8.) Sandalphon14.) Zeruel  
3.) Sachiel 9.) Matarael15.) Arael  
4.) Samshel10.) Sahaquiel16.) Armisael  
5.) Ramiel11.) Iruel17.) Tabris  
6.) Gaghiel12.) Leliel  
  
And number 18 is humanity, or Lilum.  
  
OK, I'm through wasting your time. Here we go:  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Side Story 2: Shedding Broken Wings  
  
In the sea of LCL, a consciousness awoke.  
  
It became aware of its existence, but not much else. It had no   
physical form, not anymore. Yet it _was_ capable of remembering its   
form. How it had had wings of light, and how it had flown amongst the   
stars, untouchable...  
  
Then, with a suddenness that was almost painful, it was snapped into a   
type of reality. It found that it had physical form again. Only this   
form was different...weaker. It had a thick bulge at its center, from   
which four stretched-out, ugly protuberances were attached. All of   
these protuberances were bound by some fiber encircling them. The   
entity also found it was balanced - precariously so - on the two   
thicker of these growths, the pair located at the lower portion of its   
body. Surrounding it were flowing blue light, as though the entity was   
now underwater. A harsh cold set in, making the entity shiver. The   
entity felt some shock at this profoundly new physical sensation, but   
the shock was quickly overcome by anger.  
  
"What is this?" the entity asked, furious at being shoved around.   
"Who is doing this? Do you know who you're talking to?"  
  
"Of course I know."  
  
The entity looked up at the voice, spotting a young blue-haired, red-  
eyed girl, floating in the "water" in front of it. The girl was   
naked, yet apparently oblivious to the cold that threatened to freeze   
the entity's newfound body solid. Recognition flickered through the   
entity's newly-formed eyes. There stood the being that every one of   
its kind hated. The fake, the servant of Lilum.  
  
"Zero..." it growled out. "What are you doing? How are you doing   
this?"  
  
"The answer is obvious, Fifteenth," came the reply. The girl's gaze   
bored into the entity, as though able to see its soul. The frightening   
part was that the girl may well have been able to do that.  
  
"You...so you succeeded, Zero. You were able to merge with Mother."   
The entity nearly hissed the words. It bristled with hate of the girl   
in front of it. The girl that shouldn't have been able to exist...  
  
The girl nodded once. "And it seems you were not destroyed along with   
your body. Apparently, even the Angels had souls."  
  
"What are you doing here, Zero?" the entity asked. It had no idea what   
the girl meant by "Angels", but at the moment, it didn't care, either.  
  
"I am here to make sure you know your place. You have lost, Fifteenth.   
There is no more Adam for you to find. There is not even a body for   
you to use to project your AT field."  
  
The entity tested the strength of the bonds holding it down. They were   
made of some Lilum contrivance...'rope' was the name, it believed.   
The fibers had been twisted into some kind of complicated pattern,   
tightly binding its limbs. There was no way it would be able to break   
free, not with a body this weak.  
  
"So why restrain me?" it asked.  
  
"To make a point, Fifteenth. To show you that your life no longer has   
any bearing on humanity..."  
  
The girl trailed off, although she looked as though she wanted to say   
more. Her eyes then widened, and her breath caught. "No..." she   
muttered. "Ikari-kun...why...?"  
  
The entity's eyes narrowed as it saw a red gash appear on the girl's   
neck, along with an accompanying trickle of blood. ^Something's gone   
wrong, hasn't it, Zero?^ the entity thought, spitefully.  
  
"I will return in due time," the girl said. Then, she was gone, her   
form dematerializing as though she had never been there.  
  
The entity tested the strength of its bonds again. They were   
definitely firm. To boot, they were cutting into it; a burning pain   
came from the entity's limbs. That, at least, was a slightly more   
familiar sensation; the entity had felt pain before. Pain so extreme,   
it was a miracle her mind had not been shattered.  
  
Her?  
  
The entity took that moment to take another look at its current form.   
It _did_ look somewhat familiar...  
  
Its curiosity piqued, the entity struggled to remember where it had   
seen a form like this before. Finally, it delved into a group of   
memories that were not truly its own, but rather had been taken by   
force. In these memories lay the answer.  
  
Sure enough, the entity's current body was that of a lilum female. She   
was standing on her...legs. She was unclothed, but felt none of the   
embarassment a lilum might have; she'd never had to bother with the   
crutches the Lilum had created in order to protect their bodies and   
supplement their lives.  
  
Rage boiled down in the entity's soul. ^Why, Zero? Why did you have   
to give me the form of a _lilum_? Do you enjoy tormenting me?^  
  
She became aware of other voices, murmuring in the background. It was   
as though she were hearing them through thick walls. The entity   
considered calling out to them, but figured it would be no use. She'd   
always relied on herself, anyway.  
  
^Let's see how well Zero has restricted me...^ it thought. It focused   
its consciousness, reaching out and calling an AT field into existence.   
It reached out with the field, feeling for something it could touch.   
As it did this, the entity couldn't shake the feeling that Zero was   
watching. Not only that, but that Zero was _letting_ her do this.  
  
The light around the entity changed, going from blue to an impenetrable   
black. The temperature dropped precipitously, so much that frost   
collected on the entity's hands and feet, no matter how hard she tried   
to shake it off. Her teeth chattered and her whole body quivered.   
These were again new physical reactions, so startling that the entity   
lost its focus for several moments. It tried hard to block them out.  
  
Finally, she found something, something that felt like a chink in a   
wall. She shoved her AT field into the 'chink' and expanded it.  
  
As this happened, a hole expanded in front of her, forming a window in   
the darkness. Light blazed in, somehow being absorbed by the darkness,   
but still blinding the entity as it sat there. The entity cringed in   
pain from the brightness.  
  
Through eyes narrowed down to slits, the entity could see half of a   
giant head. The head was slowly collapsing, though the crazed - yet at   
the same time happy - expression on its face was still clear. It   
seemed that its AT field had just not been strong enough. As the   
entity saw this, it heard the murmuring of the other voices increase in   
intensity.  
  
^So you failed, eh, Zero?^ the entity thought, smirking. ^Couldn't   
support what you started?^  
  
The blue-haired girl's voice rang through the darkness, at that point.  
  
"Third Impact has been denied. The only beings able to return to their   
original forms are the humans."  
  
^I suppose it _would_ be that way, wouldn't it? And you really _were_   
letting me through, weren't you? You want me to see this. Half-lilum   
freak...^  
  
"This is the only remaining source of Angel material," the girl   
continued. "It is mostly composed of human components, but at its   
heart lies the original Adam and Lilith."  
  
The entity's eyes widened. ^Of course...of course, if I use my AT   
field, then I could assemble matter into a proper body. And if I could   
get material from Father and Mother, I could be what I was...^  
  
"...enough raw material for all of you to return as you were," the girl   
continued. The murmuring increased yet again in volume.  
  
"But Ikari-kun has chosen to live without the Angels. Therefore, I   
cannot allow you to find a way to return. If possible, I would   
obliterate you, as I did Adam and Lilith's souls..."  
  
^Father and Mother...Zero destroyed their _souls_? She is more of a   
monster than I would have guessed. And who is this 'Ikari-kun'? It   
seems he is a powerful being.^  
  
"But my strength is already failing. So I leave you with this..."  
  
At this, the destruction of the head accelerated a hundredfold. It   
collapsed in on itself, as though it were hollow. Its one eyeball fell   
out of the socket, melting away almost as soon as it touched the LCL.   
The surface of its ruined form bubbled like soup, running off as liquid   
and exposing the decaying internals of the head. In moments, it had   
completely dissolved.  
  
^No...^ the entity thought, watching helplessly. ^My...my body...^  
  
"You can never return as Angels," the girl finished. "And I cannot let   
you harm the humans. So you shall remain bound as you are, sealed in   
the Roof of Gauf."  
  
The rope that had been tying the entity down suddenly hardened into   
steel. The entity cringed as the stiffer, tighter bonds cut even   
deeper into her. Another metal strap materialized, wrapping around the   
entity's throat and forcing out a choked cry. A warm trickle could be   
felt from her wrists as the skin was cut. Her AT field was crushed,   
folding in on itself like a piece of paper, as the bonds took hold.  
  
"Goodbye," the girl said. And like that, the entity felt her presence   
leave.  
  
"No..." the entity muttered. "NO!" it shouted a moment later, its   
voice echoing into the emptiness. "NO, DON'T DO THIS TO ME! DON'T   
LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE! DAMN YOU, ZERO!!!!"  
  
As the girl vanished, darkness fell.  
  
And so the entity was left alone.  
  
* * *  
  
Time has no meaning in a sea of LCL, where all is eternal. Perhaps   
days passed, perhaps months. The entity had no idea.  
  
Shortly after the girl had left, the whole illusion of being tied up   
had vanished, leaving the entity again only aware of its own   
consciousness. With some experimentation, it found it was unable to   
weaken its AT field and merge fully with the sea of LCL. By the same   
token, it could not significantly strengthen the field, either. That   
was probably what those bonds had meant.  
  
And so, the entity was alone. At first, it didn't mind. Then, boredom   
set it. Boredom so great, there weren't even adjectives to describe   
it. There was, quite literally, nothing to do.  
  
At least, for a little while.  
  
The murmuring voices surrounding the entity had not died off once the   
illusion of physical form had vanished. They had continued, slowly   
eating away at the entity's patience. Finally, if only to reassure   
itself that it was still alive, the entity began listening to these   
noises. As it began to listen, it found that there were many voices;   
millions upon millions of them.  
  
It took time. But then again, the entity had all the time in eternity.   
With some practice, it was able to manipulate its AT field _just_   
enough to differentiate some voices, filtering out most of the   
'background noise' and allowing it to listen in on what was going on.  
  
^Oh, my...^ the entity thought, as it began listening. ^These   
are...the Lilum...^  
  
Indeed it was. Human souls surrounded the entity, merged together into   
a sea of thought. They swirled like gusts of wind, intertwining with   
each other, then pulling apart and becoming linked with others. And   
they were all communicating, their very deepest and most private   
thoughts laid bare through Third Impact.  
  
Any other time, the entity would have been disgusted to no end. These   
pitiful creatures were not worthy of its attention! They had chosen to   
create simulations and machines, copies of something much grander than   
they were, just so they could continue their useless, short lives.   
Those apes, only possessing any _real_ power when they were linked   
together, were far below the entity's level, or so it thought.  
  
And for some short time, the entity tuned them out, not wanting to   
listen to what it had already concluded would be mindless gibberish.   
But then, the boredom threatened to come back.  
  
^I do not wish to lower myself to their level,^ it reasoned, some time   
later. ^But if I do not, I will lose my mind, a fate somewhat similar   
to death. Though Zero has sentenced me to exist in this void, I do not   
wish for death...not yet, anyway...^  
  
It finally swallowed its pride and began to listen. And listen it did.   
Moment after moment, hordes of souls shot by. Most didn't stay for   
very long. But during their short stays near the entity, their   
'mindless gibberish' told the story of whole lifetimes.  
  
The entity hated to admit it, even to itself, but it found these   
stories quite interesting. It had always been intrigued by the   
workings of the lilum mind. Not out of interest in joining them, but   
more the kind of interest a scientist exhibits towards strains of   
bacteria.  
  
Indeed, when it had been unfettered by these bonds, and possessed a   
body worthy of its power, the entity had been capable of cutting into a   
lilum mind with almost no effort at all. It had been able to sift   
through a lilum's thoughts, dredging up memories long repressed, as   
easily as though they had already been set out for the world to see.  
  
Now, however, the minds of the Lilum held a new interest for the   
entity.  
  
^It seems I've gained free will,^ it reasoned, quickly. ^My actions   
are now under my own control. There is no longer any driving force   
behind everything I do. So...I have gained what only one of us before   
was able to acheive. An accomplishment, I assume. Yet I cannot _use_   
this free will. I feel so angry...  
  
^Then again, the whole _concept_ of me being angry...is odd,^ it   
thought, a moment later. ^But I was definitely angry at Zero. And I   
was...excited...to think about returning, gaining back what I'd lost.   
What are these? Emotions...that is what Lilum call them. Zero, what   
did you do to me?  
  
^Or did Zero do anything? Did she instead _release_ bonds that were on   
my soul? The unification _was_ meant to break all barriers...^  
  
Time passed, as the entity thought this over. It spent much time   
thinking things through, but it spent even more time listening.   
Although the Lilum were weak beings, they _did_ know more about free   
will and emotions than the entity did. Perhaps, with some patience,   
information could be obtained from the stories they were telling.  
  
It was difficult to listen, even after it had decided that it was   
necessary. It was very hard to even _understand_ the Lilum most of the   
time, since they often talked of things the entity had never heard of   
before. All their unholy contrivances, falling under the blanket name   
"technology" were beyond its comprehension. The entity had always   
relied on itself, and nothing more. The whole concept of relying on   
something else - and a non-living machine at that - was an alien idea.  
  
It often had to resort to going through the memories it had glimpsed in   
the lilum girl. That girl had seen many instances of this   
"technology", and had in fact played a leading role in controlling one   
particularly powerful machine. A machine that the entity had truly   
feared, even when it had been at full power.  
  
^Artificial human Evangelion...^ it thought, going over the name.   
^What does 'artificial' mean? What is a 'human'? So much to learn...^  
  
And so it listened to the passing souls, gleaning what information it   
could from what they told. But in listening, it also heard the stories   
of their lives. Stories of sadness, abandonment, hope, love,   
friendship, fear...  
  
^So many names...and so many emotions...many of which the Lilum   
_themselves_ do not understand. I am definitely going to be busy for a   
while.^ It felt some satisfaction from this; at least it wouldn't be   
bored again.  
  
* * *  
  
Over time, the entity's worst fears began to come true: it began to   
sympathize with the Lilum. As it listened to their lives, and began to   
understand its own emotions, it started to feel a sort of kinship with   
the small, weak creatures. At some point, the lab specimen had become   
a true companion, if only by necessity.  
  
^I suppose, when reduced to pure souls, there is no true difference   
between myself and the Lilum. Perhaps that is why Zero put me in a   
lilum form when she spoke to me. Though I continue to hate her for   
doing that to me, I can still see why.^  
  
And every once in a while it had gained some information about what the   
Lilum had thought of its kind, of these 'Angels'. In every million or   
so souls, one would turn up that knew of a collection of lilums called   
"NERV", which had somehow been associated with these "Evas" capable of   
destroying beings such as the entity that listened now.  
  
^Angels, hm? Was I a messenger of some higher power, an emissary from   
some...what was the word...'God'? I do not know if that was the case.   
They thought I was a _test_? My, my. The Lilum truly were haughty,   
weren't they? Nearly as haughty as _I_ was, when I was at full   
strength. We are very much alike, aren't we?^  
  
But the most disturbing point of all was not the similarity between the   
entity and the Lilum, but rather the similarities between many of the   
Lilum souls. Each soul had a certain 'flavor', describing its   
feelings. Many of the souls felt contented, relaxing in the perfect   
bliss of their perfect dreams. But many more had an underlying tone   
of...regret, and violation.  
  
^They...do not enjoy being unified with Father and Mother? This is   
where we diverge, it seems. My whole guiding principle in life was to   
join with Father. But the Lilum...are refusing this unification.^  
  
And it was true. Over the endless span of time, the entity had seen   
many of the lilum souls activate their AT fields, winking out of its   
field of perception as they left the common consciousness. It was an   
interesting thing to study, and so the entity paid close attention to   
what the souls were thinking, as it tried to find an answer. Finally,   
it hit upon the reason.  
  
^The Lilum prefer their individuality...how interesting. They _want_   
to have some space, and some thoughts, that are their own, and no one   
else's. They wish to have secrets, so that no one can find their true   
nature. And they feel violated when these secrets are revealed?  
  
Shock hit the entity's consciousness as it realized something.  
  
^Oh, my...^ it thought. ^Was that not what I did to the lilum girl? I   
was interested in how her mind worked, and so I went down into it. And   
I saw everything, all the secrets she didn't want anyone else to know.   
That _would_ explain the sensations of pain and desperation she was   
giving off, while I looked...^  
  
It thought the situation over. ^Perhaps I could find her, to see how   
she is doing now. But that would be like picking out a single star   
from the sky. How would I find her? Perhaps if I could recall her   
name. Yet that one datum has escaped me. How ironic.  
  
^And yet why am I suddenly interested in finding her? I know there is   
more than enough for me to see, just watching the Lilum here. Yet,   
there is some new feeling in my soul. This feeling...guilt? Do I feel   
guilty?^   
  
It thought about this for what could have been an eternity.  
  
^Yes...I suppose I do...^  
  
* * *   
  
Over time, the sea of LCL shrank. The entity could feel it, each time   
another human found the will to leave. It was painful to feel this,   
knowing that it could not return, but that Lilum could. Yet at the   
same time, it felt some small degree of contentment. These beings,   
which it had begun to see as its younger siblings, were able to leave   
this abyss, and return to the world. Of course, that small comfort did   
not keep the entity from feeling jealous.  
  
Yet also with the reduction of size, the bonds that had been holding   
the entity weakened. Every time the entity tried, it could control its   
AT field a little more easily. The entity was sure that, if this went   
on, it would eventually be able to tear free of the bonds.  
  
But what then? The entity didn't know; it knew returning was out of   
the question, and it no longer had the desire to kill humans. But it   
still wanted freedom.  
  
^Maybe...maybe I can join the sea of souls and find that lilum   
girl...the one I attacked. But what would I say? 'Sorry I raped your   
mind'? No, that wouldn't even _begin_ to remedy the situation...maybe   
I should just tell her how my emotions are developing, and how I feel   
guilt now when I couldn't before. If only I could remember her name!^  
  
Even as these thoughts went through its mind, the entity became aware   
of a shift in the very nature of the sea. _Something_ happened, but it   
wasn't sure what. It felt as though its very soul was twisted into a   
knot, then quickly snapped back to normal. The entity was left   
disoriented and confused.  
  
It was then that the entity noticed the bonds holding it had abruptly   
evaporated.  
  
It moved around, slowly at first, then more confidently, seeing that,   
sure enough, it was finally free. It wanted to scream with happiness.   
After so long, it was free!  
  
^Greetings, Arael.^  
  
The entity froze. It refocused itself, turning its attention on what   
had spoken. It was another entity, another singular consciousness in   
the sea of souls...  
  
^What did you call me?^ the first entity asked. That name sounded   
vaguely familiar...perhaps the lilum girl had known something about it.   
But she was currently too excited by the concept of interaction with   
another being, after so long a span of solitude, to think about where   
names had come from.  
  
^I called you by your given name, Arael. My apologies. I am   
Armisael.^ As the other voice spoke, Arael became aware that this   
Armisael's voice was utterly genderless. But even as she realized   
this, Armisael began to leave.  
  
^Wait. Let me accompany you,^ Arael called out after it, following.   
Desperation - another new sensation - had built up in her at the   
concept of being abandoned again. She knew that, for better or worse,   
she _had_ to follow this other soul.   
  
^Where did you get those names?^ Arael asked, after a while.  
  
Armisael gave off the mental equivalent of a shrug. ^Another one of   
us claims he was able to enter into a...what did he call it? Some   
abomination of the Lilum, a mind without a soul. I believe he called   
it a...com-pu-ter, or some such nonsense. And in it were names for all   
of us. Do you mind?^  
  
^...no...^ Arael said, hesitantly. ^I suppose it is better than saying   
'hey you'.^  
  
Aramisael chuckled in the void. ^Yes, I suppose so.^  
  
^Wait..._us_? Who is us? Do you mean...^  
  
^The other twelve, of course. You _have_ heard the Lilum speaking of   
us as 'Angels', correct?^  
  
^Of course. So...they were all here? Why didn't you seek me out   
earlier? You seemed to have an easy enough time doing it, just now.^  
  
^Arael, if I could have, I would have, believe me. If only to have a   
companion other than those irritating Lilum. But we have only just now   
been released.^  
  
^So you were unable to...I see. Why were we released?^  
  
Aramisael stopped short, leaving Arael to refocus her attention on it.  
  
^Were you unable to feel it?^ Armisael asked. ^Zero and Tabris have   
left the sea of LCL.^  
  
A deathly silence followed these words. ^What?^ Arael asked after a   
long while, breaking that silence. She was unfamiliar with the name   
"Tabris" but she knew full well who Zero was. Zero, the only being   
Arael had not come to be at least a _little_ more accepting of during   
her time of imprisonment.  
  
^Ah, yes. Tabris was the last of us. You should have some   
recollection of him,^ Armisael said, cooly.  
  
Arael thought about it for a moment, then growled out an affirmative.   
There was no love lost between her and Tabris; he was as much of an   
outcast as Zero, in her mind. He'd been able to keep his free will,   
and even his ability to feel emotion. Not only that, but he'd   
_willingly_ taken the form of a lilum, while at the same time   
maintaining his powers as an Angel. The only reason she didn't hate   
him as much as Zero was that _he_ hadn't sealed her away, leaving her   
totally alone and abandoned.  
  
^In any case, they have taken bodies,^ Armisael continued. ^They left   
the sea of LCL, just as the Lilum have been doing.^  
  
Arael backed off, unable to believe it. She had a million questions to   
ask. First and foremost was: why oh why did _those_ two have to be the   
ones that figured it out?  
  
Arael took a moment to compose herself. ^Interesting,^ she thought-  
muttered to Armisael. ^Though of the group of us, I would have   
guessed those two would have been the ones to determine how to return.^  
  
Armisael replied with an affirmative thought, the mental equivalent of   
a nod. ^The Angels that degraded their heritage, taking the form of   
Lilum instead of something...stronger,^ it said, as though repeating   
something for the nth time. Arael reasoned that this was something   
Armisael had spent a lot of time thinking about this, during its period   
of isolation.  
  
Arael perked up as a thought hit her. ^Of course...of course, that's   
what we've been missing! Aramisael, we may actually be able to go   
back, ourselves!^  
  
^Because Third Impact was both commenced and ended by Lilum,^   
Aramisael said, keeping its voice cool, ^then that is the only form a   
soul can take as it returns to the physical world.^  
  
Arael gave another mental nod. ^Yes...but _we_ have souls. That means   
that perhaps _we_ can return that way, as well.^  
  
Aramisael mentally snorted. ^As lilum? Don't make me laugh. Even if   
we could, why should we?^  
  
^I have...had some time to think things through,^ Arael responded.   
^And I've been listening to the Lilum. Have you not been able to feel   
it? How, though we had different bodies, we and the Lilum are actually   
quite similar?^  
  
The sound of thought-laughter filled Arael's mind. It was a chilling,   
mirthless laugh, one that came from a mind dwelling on hate and   
prejudice.  
  
^We and the Lilum are similar?^ Armisael asked, after it had calmed   
itself. ^I believe the time alone has affected your mental stability,   
Arael.^  
  
^Or maybe I am the sane one. You just have to listen, Armisael.^  
  
^Hah. I do not listen to those vermin. They can only speak of how   
they 'feel' and how they are constantly wishing for better things.   
They are never satisfied!^  
  
^Listen to yourself,^ Arael shot back. ^You couldn't even understand   
the word 'feel' before you came here. Are you denying what you are?^  
  
^I am an Angel,^ Armisael replied, adamantly. ^I am a being of   
absolute power. I was, and still am, superior to the Lilum in every   
possible way. I do not trifle with these 'emotions', if I can help it.^   
  
^Yet you lost to these inferior beings. Yes, they could only win by   
copying Father and Mother, but they won, nontheless...^  
  
She trailed off as she felt something grabbing at her. Something...was   
eating through her AT field, touching her very soul. Arael drew back   
and strengthened her field, pushing out the intruder. ^What are you   
doing?^ she thought-yelled at Aramisael. ^How did you do that?^   
  
Aramisael snorted. ^Just a trick I learned with an AT field. You   
should speak with Ramiel. And Sandalphon, too. Your ramblings remind   
me of what they think of our situation. I believe they both feel this   
"guilt" at what they did. But leave the rest of us alone with your   
concept of becoming like Lilum.^ If Armisael had had a mouth, it would   
have spat out those last words. It began to drift away, heading for   
another location.  
  
^So you would stay here, then?^ Arael asked, following closely. ^You   
would choose to stay in...in..._limbo_, as long as it meant deluding   
yourself into thinking you are still an Angel? Armisael, we _can't_   
return that way - ^  
  
^Much to the contrary,^ Aramisael cut in. ^Zero and Tabris were able   
to.^  
  
^...what?^ Arael asked, quietly, after a long silence.  
  
^They may have left the sea of LCL, but are not like the Lilum, Arael.   
Somewhere, they found raw materials. Pieces of Adam and Lilith.^  
  
Arael was shocked speechless. ^But..but Father and Mother were both   
destroyed. I saw it happen...^ she mumbled after a long silence.  
  
^You need not bother with the honoraries,^ Armisael corrected. ^Adam   
and Lilith are gone. But whether they should have been able to or not,   
Zero and Tabris _did_ find materials. We are currently trying to find   
out how they did it.^  
  
^So...you want to become Angels again?^  
  
^Of course. It is a better choice than taking the pitifully weak forms   
of the Lilum.^  
  
^Armisael...that is insane. We failed as Angels. Even if we _could_   
do it again, we _shouldn't_.^  
  
Aramisael said nothing, but remained there.  
  
^You...you just want power!^ Arael said, realizing it for the first   
time. ^Can you not see that? You just want power so you can feel   
better! So you can feel like you're worth something! But I...it's not   
worth it!^  
  
Armisael remained silent as Arael continued on, saying how it was wrong   
to do what they were trying to do. After Arael had finished, an   
uncomfortable silence fell on the pair of souls.  
  
^You sound like Zero, speaking like that,^ Aramisael finally stated,   
breaking the silence. ^Perhaps you deserve to return as a..._human_.^  
  
Arael just stayed there, thinking and wishing with all of her newfound   
heart that she didn't have to deal with this madness. After a brief   
moment, Armisael snorted and vanished, going off to work with the   
others.  
  
* * *  
  
After a time, Arael finally found the others. They all had strange   
names, most of which ended in '-el'. But she didn't care; as she'd   
said, it was easier than saying 'hey you'.  
  
Among them, she _did_ find the ones who agreed with them: Ramiel and   
Sandalphon. They both also regretted their actions as Angels. Like   
the others, they'd been drunk with the power their forms had posessed.   
Power enough to destroy nearly anything.   
  
Power that hadn't been able to save them.  
  
The other former Angels didn't care about the past. They were too busy   
thinking about the possibilities of the future. They worked madly,   
trying to figure out how Zero and Tabris had been able to acheive what   
they did. Finally, one of them came across the solution.  
  
The MP Evas. None of them had ever given any thought to using those   
creations of Lilum, since each carried a clone of the being that had   
tried to seal them away for all eternity. But, with the new   
opportunities these machines presented, the former Angels were willing   
to put their prejudices aside. In addition, it was discovered that,   
although the clones had minds that were copies of Zero's, they all   
harbored some resentment towards the original Zero. This was perfectly   
acceptable, at least for the Angels.   
  
Through it all, Arael just watched. The thought of regaining her old   
power was intoxicating, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. All   
she'd be able to do with it is hurt the Lilum, and after spending so   
much time listening to them, she found that she was averse to harming   
them. She couldn't believe that now, these idiots, who'd been through   
the same imprisonment she'd had, had not listened to the Lilum. Some   
of them were outright insane, she was sure. And they all wanted their   
old power back.  
  
Not only that, but they wanted it for a plan as simple as _revenge_.   
Taking the power of Angels and using it against the Lilum, who didn't   
even have their Evas anymore. It was the pinnacle of cowardice, but   
none of them acknowledged it. They just wanted to be strong again.  
  
She _felt_ it as one of the MP Evas reactivated, with an Angel soul   
inside. If Arael had had eyes, she would have cried. But she was   
unable to. All she could do was contemplate how her feelings seemed   
genuine. And how this truly felt wrong.  
  
* * *  
  
Some indefinite measure of time later, Arael was again waiting, away   
from everyone and not wanting to talk to them. She'd just had a rather   
disappointing conversation with Ramiel and Sandalphon. They were   
intrigued by the idea of taking lilum bodies, but they definitely   
weren't going to be the first ones to try. There was too much danger   
of being obliterated, of having your very essence dissipated.  
  
She wished she could leave. A part of her truly wanted to go, to see   
if it really was possible to take the form of a lilum. But another   
part of her was adamant about staying. If she left, she would be   
abandoning the only beings she felt were truly her equals, and possibly   
even her friends. And she would also be giving credence to Zero,   
admitting that she could no longer be an Angel.  
  
As she was brooding, Armisael approached her.  
  
^What do you want?^ Arael asked, annoyed.  
  
^I suppose you know what happened,^ Armisael said.  
  
^Sahaquiel...^ Arael thought, quietly. ^He's dead, isn't he?^  
  
^Obliterated,^ Armisael corrected. ^The Eva he took was destroyed,   
and his soul has not returned to the sea of LCL. I can only assume he   
met the same fate as Adam.^  
  
Arael sighed. ^What a fool...^ she thought.  
  
^Bardiel left, some short time ago,^ Armisael added on, offhandedly.  
  
Arael perked up, turning her full attention on Armisael. ^What?   
But...they were told to leave at the same time.^ It had been a fairly   
good plan: operating individually had not worked against the Lilum   
before, so they'd decided to send out two at once, just in case.  
  
Armisael laughed, a cold, hollow sound in the void. ^I suppose so.   
But leave it to Sahaquiel to get too excited. You know, all you have   
to do is tell someone a _slightly_ different schedule, and they run   
right off without even checking to see if you are right.^  
  
Arael stared at Armisael. ^You...did you do it? Did you make   
Sahaquiel leave before Bardiel was ready?^  
  
^Maybe,^ Armisael replied, the duality quite evident in its voice.  
  
^But...but why? You've just let one of your friends be utterly   
destroyed, and with him, one of the few chances you have of getting   
back what you lost.^ She made those last words sound more like a curse   
than a simple statement.  
  
Armisael laughed again. ^One of them, yes. There are still a few   
left to get rid of.^  
  
Arael paused, thinking that through. Her hopes began to rise as she   
came to what felt like a good conclusion. ^Then...then you want to   
destroy the Evas? Really? You want to _keep_ them from getting back   
their power, so you make sure the Evas themselves are killed, and...by   
the way, how _did_ Sahaquiel fail, anyway?^  
  
Armisael was still chuckling. ^The Lilum are more resourceful than   
we had wagered. And they have Zero and Tabris to help them. As for   
the Evas...that is just too simple a thought, Arael. Who said I wanted   
to destroy _all_ of them?^  
  
As she realized the meaning of these words, a cold feeling sank into   
Arael. It was, in fact, worse than what she'd felt while speaking with   
Zero. This cold could reach her, even when she no longer had a body.   
And it reached all the way to her soul, threatening to freeze her to   
death.   
  
^...What?^  
  
^Can you not feel it, Arael? Every one of those Evas that is destroyed   
adds power to the remaining ones. All I need to do is make sure all   
but one is destroyed, before I return to the world.^  
  
^You...what? You would condemn your friends to death? Just so you   
could be the strongest, when you take your revenge?^  
  
^Heh.^ Aramisael leaned in close to Arael. ^Revenge has nothing to do   
with it, Arael. These fools believe they can justify their existences   
by striking at the Lilum. None of them have the slightest idea of the   
power the one survivor will hold. Power beyond that of any Angel,   
Arael.^ It paused, letting that sink in, before it continued. ^And   
yes, power of that magnitude is more than enough to justify the   
others' sacrifices.^  
  
Arael drew back, putting distance between herself and Armisael. Her   
mind blanked, as she tried to block out what she was hearing.  
  
^I suppose you could try to stop me, could you not?^ Armisael   
continued. ^I suppose you could tell the others, if you think they   
will even listen to you. And there are still a few Evas left. You   
could back up Bardiel. I believe that he is losing...^ Aramisael added   
on, suggestively.  
  
Even though she'd been through this argument with herself already,   
Arael found herself considering it again. Getting the strength   
back...the ability to kill or subjugate the Lilum as she chose...the   
ability to gain vengeance on that species that had only beaten her   
because it had cheated...  
  
And then she remembered the lilum girl's scream. She finally   
remembered something that she'd been struggling to remember this whole   
time.  
  
The girl...her name had been...Asuka...  
  
^No,^ Arael replied. ^You can have your Evas, and your stolen power,   
Armisael. I do not want any part of it.^  
  
Armisael thought-snorted. ^Then what will you do?^  
  
Arael mentally smiled. ^Goodbye, Armisael.^  
  
She'd finally made her decision. Armisael, though disagreeable, she'd   
thought would at least be someone she could trust. And now it had just   
shown that to be otherwise. With that breach of trust, Arael suddenly   
felt like leaving was the best option, risky or not.  
  
She closed her AT field around herself, strengthening it as far as   
she'd dared go up until now.   
  
^Ramiel, Sandalphon...^ she thought, hoping they'd pick up her message.   
^Goodbye.^  
  
She strengthened it further. And further. A feeling of protection, of   
security, settled into her. It was familiar, yet at the same time   
different from the last time...  
  
Armisael laughed, though the noise was already fading in Arael's mind.   
^Very well,^ it said to her. ^Enjoy the company of your new friends   
then, deserter.^  
  
Arael didn't listen. She didn't want to. Even as she tuned him out,   
she felt mass coming into her. Then she felt her body taking shape   
around her. She mentally smiled again.  
  
^This had better be worth it,^ she thought, just before her   
consciousness was snapped fully into the newly-formed body.  
  
SPLASH.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: May 10, 2001  
Ended: June 13, 2001  
  
As always, thank you, Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and Judging   
Eagle for prereading this for me. 


	10. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Foreword: All right, all right, I _know_ I'm running late with this   
newest installment. I was also writing the prologue (recently posted   
under the title "The Fire Still Burns"). Now that that's done, I   
should be able to get chapters out more quickly.  
  
Just a small note, in case you didn't read that side story:  
  
"Rei" means "zero" in Japanese. When someone uses the word "Zero" as a   
name, assume they are actually pronouncing that word, instead of saying   
"Rei".  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 7: What the Moon Seeks  
  
"Ar...Arael..." the white-haired girl was saying.  
  
Kensuke blinked. He hadn't quite heard that right; the girl's voice   
was very quiet from the exertion of forcing herself to speak correctly.   
  
"Ariel?" he asked. "Is that your name?"  
  
The girl shook her head weakly. "N-no...Arael..."  
  
"Ariel, right," Kensuke said. He turned around and picked his   
discarded jacket up off the ground. "Well, pleased to meet you," he   
said, coming back. "I'm Kensuke Aida. Here, let me help you..."  
  
The girl shook her head again at the mispronunciation, but quickly   
realized that she was too tired to try correcting him again, and that   
it wasn't really worth arguing over it, anyway. She took the boy's   
hand and let him help her to her feet.   
  
As she regained her balance, she shivered in the cold air; she was   
still at a loss for clothes. Kensuke corrected that problem, wrapping   
his jacket around her. She remained motionless as he did this,   
noticing that the clothing helped protect her against the elements.  
  
Kensuke's _real_ intention in giving her his jacket was mostly to cover   
her up; he knew most girls wouldn't appreciate a horny teenager seeing   
them naked. And this girl was rather...well-endowed, so to speak. He   
was quite glad his jacket was oversized, being long enough to extend   
down below her waist.  
  
The girl grabbed fistfuls of the jacket's lining and pulled it tightly   
around her, blocking out the cold as best she could. But she still   
shivered; the gelatinous LCL dripping off of her body was taking all   
her body warmth with it.  
  
"Now, don't worry, we're not all alone," Kensuke began to explain.   
"There's a lot of other people who've come back. We'll have some spare   
clothes for you."  
  
The girl nodded. In the back of her mind, she remembered that the   
lilum were often sensitive about what parts of their bodies were put   
into plain view. She didn't quite understand all the rules, but   
figured it would be best to do what this boy said. At least she could   
understand what he was saying. That was one of the advantages of   
letting your mind touch a lilum's.  
  
Kensuke pointed in the camp's direction. "It's kind of far...but once   
we're there, you can lie down. I'm sure you're tired."  
  
The girl nodded, blinking as the air dried her eyes. Yet otherwise,   
she didn't move.  
  
"Well...come on," Kensuke said. After another moment of   
motionlessness, he reached around to her back and started pushing her   
gently in the right direction. The girl stumbled, surprised, then   
nodded and started walking, paying little attention to Kensuke's many   
words of apology.  
  
^It seems I succeeded,^ she thought. ^But now what? Yes, I am tired.   
And...strangely empty. What is the word for it? Hunger, I believe.   
This body is so weak...but it is better than what the others chose. I   
guess it is as good a start as any to living as a lilum.^  
  
She took a deep breath and let it out, slowly. Living as a lilum.   
She'd made her decision, she knew. But it was still a whole new   
experience, and quite frightening. No more power, no more   
regeneration, no more projectable AT field...it was going to take some   
getting used to.  
  
Her footsteps slowed as she felt a small tingling in the back of her   
mind. She blinked, looking off to the side - towards where the latest   
MP Eva had just met its demise. What she felt was quite familiar. It   
made her blood run cold.  
  
Kensuke looked at her, worried. "Something wrong?" he asked.  
  
"Bardiel..." she muttered. "You idiot. You deserved your fate." She   
turned back towards Kensuke. "My apologies," she said, bowing   
slightly. "I thought I heard an old friend."  
  
Kensuke nodded, following as she started walking again. "Well, that's   
been known to happen," he commented. "Who knows, maybe you'll actually   
see someone you knew."  
  
Arael swallowed, at the thought of that. She'd felt another presence,   
in addition to Bardiel's.  
  
^Tabris...and Zero. No, they could _not_ be here. It would be   
impossible.^  
  
***  
  
Consciousness returned slowly to Rei. At first, she was only aware   
that she was awake. She could not even feel her body, a sensation   
which left her momentarily disoriented. It was, in fact, not unlike   
existing in the sea of LCL.  
  
Then her senses began to return. She could soon feel the ground   
underneath her; and from what she felt, she'd fallen onto her face.   
She also became aware of a series of sharp noises, which she identified   
as someone coughing violently. She could not help wondering whether or   
not she was coughing, herself.  
  
"What the _hell_ just happened?" a male voice shouted, sounding as   
though it were coming from a significant distance away. Rei recognized   
it as Suzuhara's.  
  
Although crudely worded, the question was enough to spark Rei's memory.   
Images danced in front of her eyes as she reviewed what _had_ just   
happened.  
  
One second, she'd been watching two Evas fight. The next, one of them   
- the enemy Eva, she remembered - had exploded. The burst of light had   
swallowed up everyone nearby...leaving, of course, the question of how   
Touji was still alive, let alone speaking. And then the shockwave had   
hit her...  
  
Her eyes opened, as she remembered what had happened then. She felt   
her chest rise as a surprised gasp filled her.  
  
She was instantly rewarded with a view of the ground underneath her.   
Rei blinked and tried to get up. Her arms dragged along the ground as   
she forced them to move. But as soon as her head left the ground, her   
vision blurred and her concentration shattered. She sagged, feeling   
her forehead brush the dirt again.  
  
This was nothing new, for Rei. There had been many times before Third   
Impact when her injured body hadn't wanted to cooperate with her mind.   
It was all a simple matter of closing your eyes...and willing your mind   
to focus...  
  
When she opened her eyes again, she was sitting up. The first thing   
she did was look down at her arms. She nodded as she saw that her skin   
was no longer glowing. Rei nodded, feeling a glimmer of relief at this   
discovery.  
  
But even if she was physically the same, she felt...different. That   
icy cold feeling that had crawled into her was still there. It felt   
like it was pulsing in her blood, in synch with her heartbeat.   
However, as she paid attention to it, she could tell that with each   
pulse, the feeling was a little weaker. Slowly, the coldness was   
receding.  
  
Rei swallowed. That disturbing sensation of fear was welling up in   
her, as for one of the few times in her life, she didn't understand   
what was happening to her. And even though the phenomenon had   
subsided, things were not the same. She shivered, closing her eyes and   
trying to block out the world, if only for a brief moment. But even   
behind the dark veils of her eyelids, fear still lurked. Though she   
couldn't see, she could still feel that something was different. The   
worst part was that she didn't know _what_ was changed.  
  
She shoved these matters to the back of her mind, both because of the   
fear and because, in trying to comprehend them, she suddenly felt very,   
very small. As though everything she'd learned during her life was   
worthless in the face of this. As though everything humankind had   
learned was worthless.  
  
After she'd calmed herself down, she opened her eyes again, letting   
herself look around. She turned her head, keeping her movements slow   
enough that she wouldn't lose her mental control. All around, there   
was a deathly calm, a feeling of uneasy peace. The calm after the   
storm, so to speak. A fine dust had settled into the air, leaving a   
metallic, dry taste in Rei's mouth as she breathed.  
  
From her vantage point, she could see the crater where the Eva had met   
its doom. The crater was surrounded by concentric circles of dust,   
looking ridiculously like ripples in a pool of water, frozen in time.   
And all around, people were picking themselves up. They all appeared   
stupefied, both by what had just happened, and that they were still   
alive after all of that.  
  
It didn't make any sense; Rei knew that an S2 organ going critical had   
a larger destructive capacity than several N2 mines. Perhaps Dr. Akagi   
would have an explanation. Still confused, Rei looked around for   
anyone she could recognize. At the moment, Kaoru was nowhere to be   
seen, so there was little chance she could ride the Eva back.  
  
At that thought, she found that she had some aversion to riding the Eva   
back. As the thought of using it for transportation crossed her mind,   
she was presented with a recent image. The image of Unit-00, having   
just impaled the black MP Eva on its fist, using the Prog knife to   
sever its enemy's head.  
  
^Do I fear using the Eva?^ she wondered, thinking this over.   
^No...that is not the problem. Yet I still do not wish to use it, not   
now. Perhaps...am I disturbed, seeing it kill so easily?^  
  
^Or is it that I know it is so similar to me? It follows orders   
without question. And it fights without mercy or remorse. Perhaps...I   
fear that the Eva and myself are _too_ much alike?^  
  
As she thought this, her eyes focused on Touji Suzuhara. The boy was   
patting his body, apparently making sure it was still all there. He   
patted his left arm and leg a bit more than the rest of himself.   
Finally, satisfied that he was still in one piece, he stood up.  
  
The boy spat, trying to get the dust out of his mouth. He looked off   
towards the crater, where now only Unit-00 stood. The mech was also   
frozen, as though it was just as shocked by its survival as everyone   
else was about their own.  
  
Rei saw Touji suddenly freeze, then turn slowly in the direction he'd   
been running from during the Eva's attack.  
  
"Hikari!" he shouted, before he took off towards where he'd left the   
girl.  
  
Rei thought the matter over for a moment, looking away from the scene.   
She only looked back as the memory finally surfaced.  
  
She remembered seeing Touji and Hikari as the Eva had cornered them.   
Though it had been at a distance, she had still been able to see the   
boy run off in one direction, pushing the girl in another one. Rei   
realized at this time that he'd been trying to confuse the Eva, giving   
it two choices instead of one. Considering the form the Eva had taken,   
it was no surprise that it had had gone after Touji. Now that she had   
time to think it through, she wondered now if Touji had known it would   
go after him. Had he actually _wanted_ the Eva to chase after him?  
  
^Sacrificing oneself...so that another may live,^ Rei thought. ^This   
seems...familiar, somehow.^ She closed her eyes, trying to force her   
mind to remember. But nothing came; merely some unclear thoughts of   
pain, and sadness. Though for some reason, her mind wanted to relate   
it to the destruction of Unit-00. She knew the Eva had exploded while   
she was in it, but the details just weren't there.  
  
^Perhaps in the life of my second or first iteration,^ she thought.   
She made a mental note to try and find out what had happened. Though   
no one could really tell her what she'd been feeling at the time, any   
details were better than none.  
  
She tested her legs, finding that enough of their strength had returned   
that they were again useable. She shifted her weight and went to one   
knee, before shakily rising to her feet.  
  
She looked back to the scene of the battle, seeing that Touji had found   
Hikari, and was now helping her sit up. Rei could see the relief on   
his face, finding that the girl was still alive. Hikari, for her part,   
was holding her abdomen with both hands as she let Touji pull her up.  
  
The pair started talking. At this distance, and at that volume, Rei   
could only hear indistinct mumbling. But she could guess that they   
were comparing notes on what had just happened. Touji was shaking his   
head now, shrugging. He obviously didn't have an explanation.  
  
Rei watched as Hikari moved against Touji, holding him close. The   
boy's arms found their way around the girl's waist, as he returned the   
hug. Rei tilted her head, intrigued by the show of affection.  
  
^It is natural to seek support during a time of crisis,^ she reasoned.   
^And most people are unsettled by the prospect of death.^  
  
As she kept watching, her eyes took on a nearly indiscernible quality   
of sadness. Her gaze slowly traveled down, to look at her left arm   
again. She stared at it, remembering how her skin had glowed with some   
kind of white light. It had only been for a moment, but...  
  
She hugged herself as best as she could with only one good arm, as her   
eyes traveled back to Touji and Hikari, who were now approaching her.  
  
^Dolls do not need support,^ she thought, simply. ^Is that what they   
think?^ she asked herself, looking around at the survivors. Many of   
them were desperately seeking out their loved ones. She, on the other   
hand, remained alone on the hilltop.  
  
As she turned to go, Touji and Hikari's voices became clearer.   
Apparently they were getting closer. And as Rei walked back towards   
the camp, they continued to close in on her.  
  
"So where are you hurt?" Hikari was asking.   
  
"Ah, I'm fine," Touji replied, in his best 'tough guy' voice. "No   
Eva's gonna scare me."  
  
Rei's eyes flickered to the side, even though they were still behind   
her. If Touji's reaction when the Eva had captured him was any   
indication, the boy _had_ been scared. But Rei said nothing; this   
conversation was none of her business.  
  
"Suzuhara..." Hikari began, her voice going stern. "You can at least   
do me the common courtesy of telling the truth."  
  
A pause followed this. Finally, Touji spoke up. "Really, I'm fine,"   
he said, though his voice was already meeker than it had been.  
  
"I can _see_ that," Hikari said. "But that thing almost had you,   
didn't it?"  
  
"Uh...h-hey, look, there's Ayanami," he said in response. Rei's eyes   
widened slightly in surprise, but she still didn't look at the pair.  
  
"Suzuhara," Hikari said, sharply. Their footsteps stopped abruptly as   
she said this. "We can go see her in a minute. But answer my   
question."  
  
Rei's own footsteps slowed and stopped as she heard this. Hesitantly,   
she turned her head, her body following along as she looked back at   
Touji and Hikari.  
  
Hikari was currently standing with her back to Rei, and her fists   
planted firmly onto her hips. Her face was tilted upwards, in blatant   
defiance of the height difference between her and Touji. Touji was   
facing Hikari, though he looked as though he'd have rather been   
anywhere else. His eyes met Rei's for a microsecond, only to look   
away, even more nervous than he'd been before.  
  
^Why should this interaction matter to me?^ Rei wondered. ^Their   
relationship is not a concern of mine. Yet I am interested,   
nonetheless.^  
  
"Uh...OK, fine!" Touji finally said, raising his voice. "It had me. I   
was ready to shit myself. Happy?"  
  
Hikari looked at him, leaning her face closer to his, as though trying   
to look right into his mind and make sure he was telling the truth.   
Finally, she nodded. As the girl turned around, Rei noticed the smile   
on her face.   
  
"That's better," Hikari said, beginning to walk again. "Come on, let's   
go see how Ayanami's doing."  
  
Touji followed after her as best he could. He looked as though he   
couldn't decide whether to walk at his own pace or dash after Hikari.  
  
"Hey, Ayanami!" Hikari called out, as she caught up to Rei.  
  
"Horaki-san," she said, nodding at the other girl. She stood her   
ground, interested in what Hikari had to say.  
  
"Hey, Ayanami..." Hikari began. "We just wanted to check up on you.   
Were you hurt?" Her eyes betrayed the same fear and uncertainty   
everyone else showed when dealing with Rei. However, there were also   
traces of worry for Rei's well-being.  
  
Rei glanced at the girl, her cold gaze boring into her. But after a   
moment, the look in her eyes softened, marginally. ^She is concerned   
about me?^  
  
"I am not injured further," Rei replied.  
  
In fact, the truth was even better. She felt as though she'd   
completely recovered from her previous injuries. The pain from her arm   
was just a dull memory. And even that was fading, along with the cold   
feeling in her. Both were nearly gone, now.  
  
"Well...that's good to hear," Hikari replied, uncertain of what else to   
say.  
  
Rei nodded once, also at a loss for words. Touji, for his part,   
watched with some aversion. Not only was this 'girl talk', in his   
book, but one of the girls was _Ayanami_. That made it a little hard   
for him to add much to the conversation.  
  
Finally, the coldness inside of Rei vanished, with a sudden snap. Rei   
shuddered, though the motion was barely perceptible. Her breathing   
deepened slightly as she composed herself.  
  
It was then that she became aware of it: an odd sensation, like an   
invisible hand were pushing her to look in one direction. Turning to   
look, she could see two tiny figures in the distance. Even though she   
couldn't see their faces, she found that she just _knew_, somehow, that   
one of them was Kensuke Aida. The other one...  
  
Her eyes widened as she felt it. A feeling of...wrongness, of   
something that didn't belong here. It left a sick feeling in her, as   
though a snake were crawling around inside of her stomach.  
  
She could feel that Hikari was still standing next to her. The other   
girl was now shifting her balance from one foot to the next, still   
visibly at a loss for what to say.  
  
"Excuse me," Rei said, nodding at Hikari. "But there is an urgent   
matter I need to look into."  
  
Hikari blinked, jumping a fraction of a centimeter as Rei's voice broke   
the silence that had fallen around them. "Oh...OK, Ayanami. Would you   
like us to come along?"  
  
"That will not be necessary," Rei said, turning and heading for another   
location in the refugee camp. She stopped after a few steps, turning   
around to look at the other two.  
  
"I..." Rei said, hesitantly. "I will...try to speak with you later,   
Horaki," she finished. The still-alien feeling of nervousness welled   
up in her as she said this. ^It is difficult, speaking with others.   
Especially when I know they try to avoid me.^  
  
Hikari, for her part, smiled. "OK, Ayanami. See you later." She then   
started walking back into the camp, drawing Touji alongside her. The   
boy was immediately brimming over with questions about when his   
girlfriend and Ayanami had gotten so close. Hikari did her best to   
answer, mostly saying that Ayanami might just want a friend.  
  
***  
  
"Well..." Shinji began, slowly.  
  
He was standing on a small hill, overlooking the battlefield, where   
Unit-00 was crouching, waiting for its next command. Most of the   
people had already cleared out, going back to their homes in hopes of   
finding some kind of comfort.  
  
"Well...?" Kaoru asked, standing next to him.  
  
"I'm glad you weren't hurt as badly as you were last time."  
  
Kaoru nodded. "Yes. And Rei, as well."  
  
Shinji nodded, smiling a little. "Yeah, I'm really happy she could   
walk back under her own power. But..."  
  
Kaoru could tell what his friend wanted to say. He turned his head,   
looking over the battlefield. Everyone who _could_ leave, already   
_had_. Unfortunately, there were a few people who could not just get   
up and walk away. Those people had learned the hard way that being in   
close proximity to an Eva battle is not very conducive to a long life.   
A few red splatters on the ground, already turning over to a sickly   
shade of brown, betrayed where an Eva had misstepped, or where one had   
gone skidding right through someone who hadn't gotten out of the way in   
time.  
  
A mix of emotions were going through Shinji. At first, he felt   
sickened that he was looking at what had once been a few human beings.   
Then he felt some secret relief that it was no one he'd gotten to know   
very well. Then guilt had rushed in on him; everyone here was his   
responsibility! He couldn't just mark them off as simple statistics in   
his mind! These had been _people_, who'd given up their chance at   
paradise, only to have their second chance squished like a mere _bug_   
under the feet of armored giants.  
  
At least Kaoru was taking it well. The boy was surprisingly stoic,   
even though several of those deaths were the result of his own combat   
maneuvers.  
  
"It's no use regretting what you can't change, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said,   
patting Shinji on the arm. "It just lowers your spirit. And we have   
enough trouble with that, already," he said, smiling a little.  
  
Shinji shook his head. "But...I just _can't_ pass off their deaths - "  
  
"I'm not saying you should," Kaoru said. "But I can see you're   
starting to obsess over it. You're wondering if you could have avoided   
it, right?"  
  
"Well...I guess so..."  
  
"Shinji-kun, it's not your fault. You can't do this to yourself. The   
people still alive depend on you. They are all scared, as well. If   
you are as frightened as they are, you can't help them."  
  
Shinji sighed. "It's just hard, looking at this..."  
  
Kaoru did something he rarely did: frown. "Shinji, there's little you   
can do from here. You've been through a lot already. Let's go back,   
for now." He put his arm around Shinji's shoulders and started turning   
the boy around.  
  
Shinji let himself be turned. He started walking alongside Kaoru, as   
they headed back.  
  
"So, think about something else. What are you going to do when you get   
back?"  
  
"...I don't know."  
  
"I'll try this a different way. What _should_ you be doing?"  
  
"I suppose I should try finding people who can clean up and identify   
the bodies."  
  
"They won't have much luck," Kaoru said, quietly. "What else?"  
  
"Kaoru-kun, I _don't_know_, okay?" Shinji snapped. After a moment, he   
calmed down. "Sorry," he mumbled.  
  
"No, it's fine," Kaoru said, patting Shinji on the shoulder. "I have a   
suggestion."  
  
"All right. What is it?"  
  
"Why don't you go talk with Rei?"  
  
Shinji's brow furrowed as he looked at his friend. "What?" he asked.  
  
"She was also involved in this battle. It would be a good idea for you   
to talk with her about it. You talked to _me_."  
  
"Yes, but...you're two different people," Shinji said. "I don't   
know..."  
  
As he said this, his memory trailed back to the incident several days   
ago, when he'd visited Rei in the makeshift hospital room. What she'd   
done...  
  
It was just a little strange, thinking about it. On one hand, it made   
him fear Rei even more, since now she was acting...strangely. Even for   
her. On the other hand, it made him feel a little more comfortable   
around her: she _had_ asked him to stop being afraid of her. That   
meant she cared about what people thought about her. Or at the very   
least cared what _he_ thought about her.  
  
Something else registered in his mind, as he went over the battle.  
  
"You know, I meant to ask you this, but...Ayanami activated the Dummy   
plug, didn't she?"  
  
Kaoru's eyes looked upwards, as he went over the battle. After a   
moment, he nodded. "Yes, I'm quite certain of that. I believe she   
even activated it before I was ready; it rendered me unconscious. The   
very fact that Unit-00 still won after I had passed out shows that she   
activated the autopilot system."  
  
"In that case, I definitely need to talk with her."  
  
Kaoru nodded, smiling a little. He looked at Shinji, though,   
suspicious as to what he needed to talk to Rei about.  
  
"Well...in any case, I suppose I should power up Unit-00 and move it   
out of the way," Kaoru said.  
  
"Yeah...I guess so," Shinji said. "OK, thank you for your help, Kaoru-  
kun."  
  
"Anytime you want to talk, Shinji-kun, I'll be here. I..." he trailed   
off, as he felt an odd sensation; the same one Rei had felt just a few   
moments earlier. He looked off towards the camp, squinting as though   
trying to see something.  
  
"Something wrong, Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked, worried.  
  
"No, everything is fine," Kaoru replied, returning to himself. "I'll   
see you back at camp."  
  
"Right."  
  
Kaoru turned around and headed back towards the Eva, to get within the   
range he could control it. Shinji, for his part, kept walking, heading   
back to the camp.  
  
As he walked, he noticed two humanoid forms slowly making their way   
back, as well. Judging from their position, they'd probably come from   
the sea of LCL. As he got closer to them, Shinji recognized one of   
them as Kensuke. The other...  
  
^Never seen _her_ before,^ Shinji thought. ^And I thought I was at   
least familiar with everyone's face. Wait a second...if they're coming   
from the sea of LCL...^  
  
He stopped, taking a moment to think it over. Finally, he concluded it   
was at least worth looking into, if only to avoid having to tell   
everyone back at camp that a few people had died in the last battle.  
  
***  
  
Arael was still walking. The rocky ground hurt her bare feet, making   
her wince whenever she stepped on a stone. Kensuke was walking   
alongside her, looking very apologetic. Not just that she had to go   
through all this, but that he didn't know how to make it any easier.  
  
As she walked, Arael pulled her hand out of the jacket Kensuke had   
loaned her. She grabbed a handful of her own shoulder-length hair and   
pulled it around so she could see it. Her eyes narrowed as she saw its   
coloration. She was fairly sure that totally white hair was rare in   
lilum, at least at her apparent age. Her skin, which she noticed was   
slightly darker than Kensuke's, contrasted greatly with her hair.  
  
^As I understand it, the Lilum return in forms representing the way   
they see themselves,^ she thought. ^Is this how I see myself? Taking   
a lilum's body was a new experience, so perhaps there were some   
anamolies. This is a very strange color for my hair. Yet...I should   
be happy that I am even alive, I suppose. It is preferable to spending   
further time with Armisael...^  
  
She shuddered at the thought. Armisael. The name would mean   
'betrayal' for her, now and forever afterwards. She would never   
forgive that..._thing_ for what it had done.  
  
"Oh! Are you cold?" Kensuke asked. "Sorry...I just wasn't carrying   
anything else for you to wear."  
  
Arael shook her head. "No, I am well," she said, exercising her vocal   
cords again. It had been nearly impossible to speak, a few moments   
ago. Actually, she hadn't even been sure of how to _breathe_ at first.   
But then, in desperation, she'd delved into the memories she'd stolen   
from that lilum girl. She'd sifted through them, learning how the   
action of breathing worked, and what speaking felt like. Knowledge of   
Japanese had followed soon after. Now, she could talk - more or less -   
as though she'd been doing it for years.  
  
^I just wish I did not feel so guilty for learning that way,^ she   
thought. ^I was only able to survive those first few minutes by using   
the memories that were my weapon, not long ago. Memories that were not   
even mine.^  
  
That could put a damper on other Angels ever returning in human form.   
Few others had ever touched a lilum's mind, and she didn't trust those   
who had. Any other Angels that tried to return as lilum would likely   
suffocate on deoxygenated LCL before they had any idea of what was   
going on.  
  
She looked at the ground, a few meters in front of her feet. Kensuke,   
seeing that she was unresponsive, said nothing more. For a moment,   
there was only the relative silence of them walking. Then another   
person could be heard approaching.   
  
He turned his head to look at who it was. He waved as he saw that it   
was Shinji coming up to them.  
  
"Hey there, Shinji!" he called out. This snapped Arael out of her   
thoughts. Her head popped up, and she turned to face the new arrival.  
  
"This guy's name is Shinji Ikari," Kensuke whispered to her, as the   
other boy closed the distance. "You'll want to be nice to him."  
  
Arael's eyes turned in their sockets, glancing at Kensuke. She nodded,   
wordlessly. Then her brow furrowed in thought. Ikari...she was sure   
she'd heard that name somewhere before, a lifetime ago...  
  
"Hi, Kensuke. You all right?" Shinji asked, coming up to them.  
  
"Better," Kensuke said, shoving out his chest as best he could. "You   
wouldn't believe what just happened."  
  
Shinji turned his gaze to Arael. The girl drew back slightly,   
unconsciously. She had some feeling of apprehension, looking at this   
boy. As though, at another time, he'd been a threat. But she knew   
she'd never seen him before.  
  
To top it all off, Shinji was looking at her strangely, as well. A   
flicker of recognition, so dim that it could have just been an   
illusion, went through his eyes. He studied her face, trying to call   
up the memory he could feel tickling in his mind. There was something   
about this girl...  
  
"She's just now coming out of the LCL," Kensuke began, oblivious to the   
suspicious glances his companions were giving each other. He gestured   
to her. "She says her name is Ariel."  
  
^Actually,^ Arael thought, ^that mispronuciation could work out in my   
favor. There _may_ be some lilum who are familiar with the name Arael.   
And 'Ariel' is more of a lilum's name, in any case...^  
  
Shinji nodded slowly, still lost in thought. "How are you doing,   
uh...Ariel-san?" he asked hesitantly, realizing he hadn't heard her   
last name. "Are you feeling all right?" He tried to sound genial, but   
suspicion lingered in his voice.  
  
"I am fine," she replied, nodding. "But I am cold. And...hungry."  
  
Shinji nodded, smiling a little. "Come on. I'll show you where you   
can get something to eat."  
  
Arael began to follow. She stopped short, however, as she spied   
something coming up over a hill.  
  
It was a large, humanoid form. It had been hidden by the hill, stuck   
in a crouching position. But now it was standing up, rising to its   
full height. Blue armor glinted in the sun. Slowly, it lifted a leg   
and started to walk. The tremors from its footsteps could be felt,   
even out at this distance.  
  
Arael's eyes widened, as her breath quickened. She didn't have to go   
into the lilum girl's memories to recognize that monster. A   
halfhearted copy of Adam, with its will twisted and subdued to follow   
the commands of the lilum. Even at this distance, Arael could feel   
something familiar, yet at the same time _wrong_, with Evangelion Unit-  
00. Where had it come from? What was it doing? Why were the lilum   
not worried by its appearance? Hundreds of other questions flooded her   
mind.  
  
Kensuke, who'd been walking away, turned to see the girl was still   
frozen in place behind him. He went back up to her, turning to see   
what held her attention. As he looked, Unit-00 turned its head,   
looking directly at them. It leaned forwards slightly, as though   
getting a better view of the new arrival.  
  
"Oh, _that_," Kensuke said. He smiled. "Don't worry, it's not   
harmful. It's on our side." He failed to notice the trickle of urine   
running down the girl's leg.  
  
Arael didn't even hear him. All she could see was that blue monster   
looking directly at her. All it needed was a long spear, and it would   
look exactly as she remembered it. Her eyes rolled up in her head.  
  
"Well, come on," Kensuke said, starting to walk again. "I'll explain   
later - "  
  
_Thud_.  
  
He turned around, to see the girl was laid out on the ground, flat on   
her back. Her eyes were closed, and her body was limp.  
  
"Hey," he said, shocked. "Hey!" he repeated, more loudly. He got down   
to one knee, next to her. "Ariel, what's wrong?"  
  
He relaxed as he saw that her chest was still rising and falling. So   
she'd just passed out. That made it _slightly_ better. Now he just   
had to wake her up...  
  
"Hey, Shinji!" he called out to the other boy. "Gimme a hand, here!"  
  
"What happened?" Shinji asked, catching up and going to one knee, on   
the other side of the girl.  
  
"Guess she doesn't like Evas," Kensuke reasoned. "She saw that," he   
said, pointing to Unit-00, "and passed out cold."  
  
"Weird," Shinji said, glancing down at her again. He stared at her, as   
though willing his eyes to recognize her. Finally, he shook his head,   
frustrated. "Well, come on. Let's get her somewhere where she can lie   
down."  
  
***  
  
Some time later, Ariel - now becoming more familiar with her new name -   
was escorted into the shelter that had become their makeshift   
infirmiary. Leaning on Kensuke's shoulder for support, she stumbled   
into the small room through the open doorway. Kensuke helped her to   
sit on the small, raised cot.  
  
"Are you feeling all right, now?" the boy asked.  
  
Ariel nodded, holding up a hand to say that she just needed a minute to   
recuperate.  
  
^The copy of Father...^ she was thinking. ^How is it here? And   
_alive_? Did it see me? Did it see what I was? The only Father-copy   
that would know me any better would be that red one...^  
  
Kensuke's mouth turned down as he saw her sink into thought. Yet he   
was also noticeably unsure of what to do.  
  
To give her some time, he stepped out of the shelter and paced around   
outside the doorway. After a moment, Shinji came back, with a set of   
clothes for the girl. Kensuke dropped them off inside, muttering   
apologies about the delay, before going back outside.  
  
As he paced outside the doorway, a few people came up to ask who had   
just arrived. To all of them, he said the same thing: he hadn't seen   
her before, and she didn't want to be disturbed, right now.  
  
Not many people came with questions, though. Most of them were too   
concerned with the battle that had just been finished. They were   
worried about their loved ones, especially now that word was going   
around that there had been a few deaths. Kensuke would have been   
worried about Touji and Hikari, had he not seen them as he came into   
town. He felt guilty for not being worried about the other people, but   
it still made him feel better to know that the ones he knew best were   
still alive.  
  
After several minutes, the crunch of footsteps approached and stopped,   
next to him. Kensuke sighed, knowing he had to go through another   
repetition of the same old story he gave anyone who asked about the new   
girl.  
  
He turned to start, but immediately broke off. Looking at him was the   
pale, smiling face of Kaoru Nagisa.   
  
Kensuke's mind blanked; he didn't know what to say to this boy. He had   
the same mysterious, nervousness-inducing air as Ayanami did, but at   
the same time was much more friendly. Kensuke had talked with him a   
few times before, but still was uncertain about the other boy.  
  
"I hear someone new's come in," Kaoru said, breaking the silence. "Is   
this true?"  
  
"Uh...yeah," Kensuke said, sheepishly. "She says her name is Ariel."  
  
"Ariel...what?" Kaoru asked, turning to lean up against the side of the   
shelter, next to Kensuke.  
  
Kensuke paused at the movement on the part of the other boy, then shook   
it off. "Actually, she didn't say what her family name was," he   
explained. "And I didn't really wanna ask her; she doesn't seem like   
she's in great health, right now."  
  
"Hm," Kaoru replied, leaning against the wall and looking away from   
Kensuke. They sat like that for several minutes, Kensuke not knowing   
what to say, and Kaoru giving no indication he even intended on   
talking.  
  
"I don't suppose I could go and see her?" Kaoru asked, finally, turning   
his head again to look at Kensuke.  
  
The other boy glanced into Nagisa's red eyes, not really knowing what   
to say. "Well...she said she just needs some time alone."  
  
Kaoru quirked an eyebrow. "That's interesting. I'd think she would   
want to be assured she isn't alone. Is that not what people fear when   
they come out of the LCL?"  
  
"Well...yeah..." Kensuke stammered, trying to find a flaw in that   
logic. Seeing the innocent look on Kaoru's face, he found it very hard   
to say no.  
  
"OK, fine," Kensuke said. "I'll introduce you. But don't blame me if   
she throws us both out."  
  
"So violent already?" Kaoru asked, smiling again. "She could be   
related to Soryu."  
  
"Oh, damn," Kensuke said, in mock horror. "I sure hope not. But,   
eh...she 'outdoes' Soryu in one respect," he said, nudging Kaoru in the   
ribs. He smiled lecherously as he said this.  
  
Kaoru only nodded. "Perhaps an actress, then. Well, now I _must_ see   
her."  
  
"OK, c'mon," he said, gesturing for Kaoru to follow him as he stepped   
into the shelter.  
  
"Uh...Ariel, are you awake?" Kensuke asked. The sun, coming in through   
a seam in the 'roof', highlighted her lithe form, lying flat on the   
bed. She'd put on the clothes he'd left for her; now she was dressed   
in blue jeans and a white shirt, both of which were a few sizes too   
large for her. Her impressive figure still showed, however, even   
through the loose clothes.  
  
"Yes," came the immediate reply, in that same calm, yet melodious   
voice.  
  
"OK, well...I have someone who wants to see you."  
  
"Oh. Aida-san, can I just have a few more moments to think things   
over?"  
  
"Well..." he said, pausing. Women still scared him, even after living   
with Hikari for a while. He didn't know what to say.  
  
"I just wanted to meet the new arrival," Kaoru said, stepping in, going   
by Kensuke.  
  
At the sound of his voice, Ariel sat up quickly. She blinked, looking   
at Kaoru, who was standing in the relative shadow of one of the   
corners. Her eyes widened as recognition flickered through them.  
  
"Tabris..." she whispered, in total shock.  
  
Kaoru's grin widened, though his eyes went hard as he looked at her.   
His chin came down, then back up, in the slightest of nods.  
  
"Tabris?" Kensuke asked, confused. "Who's that? This guy's name is   
Nagisa."  
  
Ariel drew her legs back, against her chest. She swallowed loudly.   
"Stay away, Tabris..." she muttered, her breathing accelerating. "I   
don't...I'm not..."  
  
"The boy is right," Kaoru said, still smiling. "I don't know any   
Tabris. I hear your name is Ariel. Allow me to introduce myself.   
Kaoru Nagisa, here to meet you," he said, bowing ceremoniously.  
  
Ariel seemed to calm, slightly. "R-right," she said, stuttering a   
little.  
  
"Well...c'mon, Nagisa. Let's go back outside," Kensuke said, grabbing   
Kaoru's arm. "Can you show me the Eva again?"  
  
He started walking away, but stopped short, as Kaoru didn't budge. He   
kept his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. He turned his   
head slightly to look at Kensuke.  
  
"I think I have a few things to talk over with the new arrival," Kaoru   
said, calmly. "I will show you the Eva later, Aida-kun."  
  
"Uh...but Nagisa, she wants you to leave her alone..."  
  
"It's fine, trust me," Kaoru said, putting on his most winning smile.   
"Just give me a minute."  
  
"Well..."  
  
Kaoru turned, breaking out of Kensuke's grip. The boy, no longer   
hanging onto Nagisa, started walking out. Just before he left, Kaoru   
called out to him.  
  
"Oh, and if Rei comes by, could you let her in in here as well, Aida-  
kun? I believe she will also want to see this new arrival."  
  
Kensuke nodded at Kaoru, confused, but then walked off, at a loss for   
other things to do. He saw - but did not understand - the growing look   
of desperation on Ariel's face. There was no reason to be scared of   
Kaoru, was there?  
  
As soon as Kensuke was out of sight, Kaoru whirled around, facing   
Ariel. His grin had vanished entirely.  
  
"Talk," he said, a simple command.  
  
Ariel swallowed again, her jaw clenching. She said nothing.  
  
"Please, let's not do this, Arael," Kaoru said, pronouncing the girl's   
name correctly. "I'll start more simply. Why are you here? No, I   
should rephrase that. _How_ are you here?"  
  
Ariel again remained silent. She watched, still wide-eyed, as Kaoru   
pulled up a chair and sat down in it. The boy crossed his legs and   
waited patiently.  
  
"I don't want to kill the Lilum!" Ariel blurted out, finally cracking   
under his stare. "No, I'm not like the others!"  
  
Kaoru nodded. "Fine, if you say so. But how are you here, Arael?"  
  
The girl shook her head. "Zero couldn't keep us locked up forever,"   
she muttered. "I suppose the bonds broke when you and Zero finally   
left the sea of LCL. It took you long enough..." That last sentence   
was not meant for Kaoru's ears. He heard her anyway, but said nothing.  
  
"So...the others...?"  
  
"What do you think?" Arael asked, defensively. "That only _I_ was   
freed?"  
  
Kaoru shook his head. "No, I have been developing some theories. I   
will need to speak with Ritsuko-san about them, though."  
  
"Ritsuko-san?"  
  
"Forget her. Now, how is it _you_ are here, Arael? And as a lilum, no   
less."  
  
Ariel shook her head again. "It is just how things came to pass. You   
should know, Tabris. After the unification, a soul could only return   
in a human form."  
  
"Which is why the other Angels are attacking, then?" Kaoru asked,   
cynical. "Why they are using the AT field to hurt Lilum, again?"  
  
Arael blinked. "So you know..." she muttered. "Look, I didn't have   
anything to do with that! I - "  
  
"Your eyes tell a different story, Arael. You know something, do you   
not?"  
  
"I...I...Tabris, don't hurt me..."  
  
"I do not plan on doing so," Kaoru said, his voice marginally more   
friendly. "But I still want you to answer the question."  
  
Ariel again went silent. She turned her head, becoming very interested   
in the wall. Kaoru again went back to waiting. He had time to spare,   
he knew. He could wait her out.  
  
Fate stepped in, however, and kept him from waiting for very long.   
After just a few more minutes, Rei Ayanami walked in. She glanced at   
Kaoru, who nodded before gesturing at the girl on the bed.  
  
Rei looked at Ariel at the same time Ariel turned her head to see who   
had come in. Red eyes met pink. For a long moment, nothing happened.   
After a time, Ariel got to her feet, never once breaking eye contact   
with Rei. Her face began to twitch, as she obviously began holding   
back some feeling inside. It wasn't long before that emotion broke   
free.  
  
"YOU!" she shouted, lunging at Rei.  
  
Rei smoothly moved to the side, as though she'd been expecting that all   
along. Ariel missed, her hands grabbing at the air where the blue-  
haired girl had been a moment ago. She turned, her eyes blazing as she   
stalked up to Rei.  
  
She was stopped, however, as two arms came in under her armpits and   
looped around over her shoulders. Suddenly restrained from moving   
forwards, she strained against the hold, reaching forwards with   
clutching hands, trying to claw at Rei.  
  
"I'LL KILL YOU, ZERO! YOU HEAR ME? I'LL _KILL_ YOU! TABRIS, LET ME   
_GO_!"  
  
Kaoru, standing behind her, would not let her go. The grip he had on   
her prevented her from turning, so all Ariel could do was weakly beat   
on him by reaching backwards with her arms. It wasn't long, though,   
before her strength gave out and she slumped in his grip, going to her   
knees.  
  
Breathing hard, Ariel still tried to crawl forwards, towards Rei.   
Absolute hatred burned in her eyes. Kaoru, however, was still more   
than strong enough to keep her from making any headway.  
  
"Why are you here?" Rei asked, her face still expressionless as she   
looked down at Ariel.  
  
Ariel spat at Rei in response, only succeeding in hitting the other   
girl's shin. Rei gave no indication that she'd even noticed.  
  
"You have much to learn, Arael-san," Kaoru said, pulling the girl back   
to her feet and dragging her towards the bed. Ariel struggled for the   
first meter or so, but then her arms fell limp by her sides, no longer   
having the strength to fight. She could only glare at Rei, her mind   
being the only thing that wasn't exhausted, right now.  
  
Kaoru lay her down on the bed as gently as he could, while Ariel caught   
her breath. Rage continued to boil in her eyes, but this time, it   
didn't come out in her words.  
  
"I am here because I could no longer stay," she said, evenly. "The   
others betrayed me."  
  
Kaoru glanced over at Rei. "I was under the impression you had   
imprisoned the other Angels," he said.  
  
"I did," Rei replied.  
  
"She _did_," Ariel said, simultaneously. Both Kaoru and Rei looked at   
her. Kaoru's face was inquisitive, while Rei's was unreadable.  
  
"She sealed us in the...the name evades me. 'Room of Gauf,' I   
believe." She glared at Rei. "But you could not just lock us away   
forever, Zero."  
  
"I thought that place was empty," Kaoru asked Rei. "It should have   
made the perfect prison."  
  
"It _was_ empty, before Instrumentality," Rei said. "Third Impact   
freed the human souls and allowed it to be filled again."  
  
"Filled?" Ariel asked. "_Filled_? Zero, I was surrounded by _hordes_   
of Lilum. I had to listen to them for an eternity, just to assure   
myself I was still alive!"  
  
"Her name is Rei," Kaoru corrected. "And you would do well to remember   
it, Arael. Though I suppose I should start calling you Ariel, now."  
  
Ariel snorted, turning her head away. "Why should I bother, Tabris?"  
  
"Because you are a terrible liar. You are trying to make us believe   
you hated being left among the Lilum, but you came to enjoy it, didn't   
you?"  
  
Ariel blinked, thinking about it. After a moment, her shoulders   
slumped, though she said nothing.  
  
"It is the reason you chose to come back in this form, instead of   
finding some other avenue, correct?" Kaoru asked, stepping towards the   
bed.  
  
Arael flinched, then nodded, grudgingly. "I am not going to reanimate   
a half-perfect copy of Father, just for some pitiful revenge."  
  
This got Rei's attention. "You mean the Evas?" she asked.  
  
Ariel snorted. "Why should it matter? You, the all-powerful _Zero_,   
capable of annihilating the very _souls_ of Father and Mother? You can   
handle it, can't you?"  
  
Silence fell after that. Rei closed up again, seeing further   
conversation with the girl would be pointless.  
  
^The Evas...how could I have been so careless?^ Rei thought. ^I simply   
assumed that the Evas had been rendered useless by Third Impact. But   
if Kaoru and myself were capable of rebuilding one of them, then it   
only makes sense that other beings could, as well.^  
  
She thought it over, shaking her head. Even if she'd done it all over   
again, she couldn't see herself as deciding to _more_ thoroughly   
destroy the MP Evas. Their very _cores_ had been punctured during   
Third Impact. They had been reduced to dead matter, an amalgamation of   
Adam and Lilith DNA. They should have been beyond worthless.  
  
But they weren't. They were _far_ from worthless, especially now.  
  
Kaoru rubbed at his eyes, tiredly. "We have all had long days," he   
said. "But before we leave, we should clarify your situation."   
  
He took a breath. "I don't trust you," he said, flatly. He glanced at   
Rei, who nodded in agreement. "And I doubt either of us will trust you   
for a long time, if ever. But you sounded genuine when you said you   
did not want to harm the Lilum. So, I for one am willing to let you   
stay."  
  
Rei nodded again, but said nothing. She knew very well when _not_ to   
speak. Dealing with someone like Ariel, in her current mental state,   
was definitely one of those times.  
  
"Rei and I will be present in this camp at all times, however. If we   
suspect you..." he trailed off, letting the rest go unsaid. Ariel   
flinched, understanding immediately what would happen to her if she   
came under suspicion.  
  
"Now, just a few more things," Kaoru said. "We need to straighten you   
out about a few names, starting with your own..."  
  
***  
  
Some short time later, Rei stepped out of the makeshift infirmary. She   
made a few cursory efforts to brush herself off as she walked away.   
Some people gave her questioning glances as they walked by, but she   
ignored them. The glances never lasted for long; most people didn't   
really want her to look back at them. But this time, the people's   
faces did not betray utter fear. Mixed in with the fear, this time,   
was admiration. They all recognized the girl who'd turned them to LCL,   
but they also recognized Rei as the one who'd defended them - twice -   
against the flying demon-mechs.  
  
She hadn't gotten very far from the infirmary before she took note of   
Shinji and Kensuke, waiting a little ways off. They seemed to be   
engaged in conversation.  
  
^I suppose it is best that they did not hear the Fifteenth shouting,^   
Rei thought. ^Otherwise, they most likely would have made an incorrect   
conclusion about what we were doing.^  
  
Her gaze lingered on Shinji as she walked; for several moments, she   
wasn't even aware that she was staring. She didn't realize it,   
actually, until Shinji turned his head, noticing her. When that   
happened, she quickly looked away, slightly embarassed.  
  
^Why?^ she thought, confused. She'd never had a problem being stared   
_at_, and had never cared what people thought if she stared at _them_.   
Usually, it just meant she was being attentive, even if social   
standards usually prohibited it.  
  
^So why do I fear him seeing me look at him, now?^ she wondered. There   
were several possibilities. First and foremost was that other people   
were watching. She knew she could not afford to make enemies in her   
current environment, and she also knew from her experience with human   
culture that pursuing someone already in a relationship was looked down   
upon.  
  
^Perhaps I fear that he will tell Soryu, and she will...do something   
rash, in reaction.^ She thought it over, deciding that that wasn't the   
case, either.   
  
But the most confusing part by far is that it felt as though something   
were trying to block her emotions. The feeling was something akin to   
throwing stones into a stream; it still flowed, but not as much water   
could flow anymore.   
  
^What could that mean?^ she thought, as Shinji and Kensuke approached   
her. ^Am I simply tired, or is something truly blocking out my   
feelings?^ She stopped, seeing that the boys wanted to speak with her.  
  
But she didn't have any more time to think about it, since the two boys   
had closed the distance to her.  
  
"Hi, Ayanami," Shinji said, waving. Kensuke just smiled and nodded at   
the girl. Rei briefly made eye contact with Kensuke, then turned   
towards Shinji. Her eyes, intense as always, were wordlessly asking   
what he wanted.  
  
"Well...uh, how's she doing?" Shinji asked.  
  
"She is healthy, but exhausted from returning," Rei explained, her   
voice sounding as though she were reading something from a book. "She   
is sleeping now."  
  
Shinji nodded, then looked up, peering over Rei's head. "Hey, Kaoru-  
kun!" he called out, waving.  
  
Rei didn't need to turn around to know Kaoru would be walking out of   
the infirmiary about now. He'd waited in the shelter to make sure   
Ariel really stayed asleep. Now, he was probably headed back to the   
shelter he and Rei shared. The boy waved at Shinji in friendly   
acknowledgement, then walked off, looking tired.  
  
"So, uh..." Kensuke began, making eye contact with Rei. The girl   
returned his gaze with a blank look. "So...uh, did she say what her   
last name was? I felt kinda awkward using her first name with her like   
that."  
  
"Ni", Rei said, bluntly.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Ni," Rei repeated. "That is her last name."  
  
Kensuke blinked, wondering why the girl's last name would mean "two".   
After a moment, though, he figured it wasn't worth the trouble. He   
just nodded at Rei, acknowledging her help.  
  
"So...what's up with that last battle?" Kensuke asked. "We won, I   
guess."  
  
Rei just maintained eye contact, not bothering to expend the energy to   
nod.  
  
"Actually, Ayanami," Shinji began, looking at the ground, "I was hoping   
you could help clear something up."  
  
Rei looked at him, sizing him up in her mind. "I will try, Ikari-  
kun," she said, after a moment.  
  
"Right. Well...why did the Eva chase after Touji? I saw it single him   
out, and then try to..._eat_ him. Was he just in the wrong place at   
the wrong time?"  
  
Rei shook her head. "I doubt that was the case. If you saw the Eva,   
then I trust you took note of its resemblance to the Thirteenth   
Angel." She refrained from saying Unit-03. The Angel had been the   
enemy, not the Eva. A memory was also tickling in the back of her   
mind. She seemed to remember that Shinji was sensitive about that   
Angel, for some reason.  
  
Shinji nodded slowly. "You don't mean...?" he asked, trailing off mid-  
question.  
  
"I am not sure," Rei replied. "I need to consult with Dr. Akagi. But   
the Eva may have been seeking out a pilot to join with."  
  
"So it goes after Touji..." Shinji muttered, shaking his head. "And if   
that really was Unit-03, or something, then it makes sense...I guess."  
  
Kensuke took a few steps back. "Well...OK," he said, hesitantly. He   
didn't really want to get involved with what Eva was chasing after   
whom. Evas were amazing things to look at, but when they started   
trying to eat your friends, it got a little too personal.  
  
"Shinji, I'm gonna go check on Touji and Hikari," Kensuke announced.   
"Where are you headed?"  
  
Shinji took a moment to think about it before replying. "Probably over   
to that plane crash," he responded. "No...wait, I think I'll go see   
Akagi-san with Ayanami. I have to find out why it targeted Touji like   
that."  
  
"OK. See ya," Kensuke said, waving as turned away.  
  
Shinji nodded in response, then turned towards Rei before Kensuke even   
started walking.  
  
"Ayanami," he said, his voice having suddenly gone stern.  
  
Rei blinked, that being the only indication of the surprise she felt at   
the sudden change in his attitude. "Yes, Ikari-kun?"  
  
"Come on," he said, gesturing with a tilt of his head for her to follow   
him. "There's something else I need to talk to you about."  
  
Rei immediately began walking, coming alongside Shinji. Her eyes   
flickered over to the side, studying his face. He looked   
almost...angry. His jaw was clenched, and his brow had furrowed   
slightly. Rei felt a sensation of nervousness starting to spread   
through her, again.  
  
But as opposed to the last time she'd felt this emotion towards Shinji,   
the nervousness seemed...dulled. As though something had taken the   
edge off of what was otherwise a sharp feeling. Rei was confused by   
this observation; she resolved to look into it further, when she had   
the chance.  
  
"Ayanami, what were you _thinking_?" Shinji asked, spreading his hands   
in consternation.  
  
Rei looked away. She'd known this conversation would be coming.   
Shinji had seemed quite adamant about how he felt the Dummy plug should   
be handled, the last time he'd spoken with her.  
  
"You activated the Dummy, when I _expressly_ asked you not to," he   
said, keeping his voice at a conversational volume, but still letting   
anger show. "Why? Why would you put us all at risk, Ayanami?"  
  
"For the same reason as before, Ikari-kun. It was the most effective   
way to achieve victory."  
  
Shinji closed his eyes. "The Eva is just too dangerous when it's being   
controlled by the Dummy," he said, quietly. "You're putting everyone   
around it at risk."  
  
"It is a justified risk, if it means defeating the enemy."  
  
"It's a risk you don't have the right to take!" Shinji shot back, his   
voice rising. "Ayanami, you're putting _people's_lives_ in danger!   
Don't you have any respect for them?"  
  
Rei remained silent. She knew about the concepts of respecting the   
dead, and caring for the welfare of the common populace. She'd never   
believed in them.   
  
But now...  
  
^If I truly did not care, then why did I need to convince myself that   
their deaths were necessary?^ She wondered. ^Perhaps I blamed myself.   
Which could mean...^  
  
"Do you blame me for the deaths that occurred as a result of the   
battle?" she asked, in the same calm voice.  
  
Shinji calmed down quickly. "No, no..." he said, shaking his head.   
"They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm sure the   
other Eva would have killed them, anyway, if Unit-00 hadn't been   
there."  
  
"Ikari - "  
  
"Just wait, Ayanami," Shinji said, cutting Rei off. "Maybe you're   
right. _Maybe_ activating the Dummy was the only way to win. But   
_think_ a little before taking the quickest solution!"  
  
"Ikari..." Rei began, pausing immediately after speaking. Shinji   
didn't cut in this time, so she continued.  
  
"Ikari-kun, you are no longer combat personnel. Kaoru-san and myself   
are the ones who must make decisions regarding the Eva's actions. And   
I did what I chose to be the right course of action to defeat the   
enemy."  
  
Shinji remained silent for a long time after Rei had spoken. They   
walked in silence for a considerable distance.  
  
^It seems I have offended him,^ Rei thought. ^Ikari...can you not   
understand my point of view? I know the Dummy is dangerous. I take a   
risk whenever it is activated. But the threat of an MP Eva is a   
certainty, not a risk. If I had not activated the Dummy, we would   
_all_ have been in danger.^  
  
She thought it over. She wanted to talk to Shinji, tell him these   
exact words. But the words wouldn't come. She knew why: Commander   
Ikari often went silent, when he was _really_ angry. Rei had observed   
him conducting verbal assaults before. Often, he was close to   
committing cold-blooded murder when he paused, like Shinji had just   
now.  
  
Rei found she was afraid. She'd received her share of verbal attacks,   
a few of which had even come from the Commander himself. But Shinji   
exhibiting this behavior was making her stomach turn. ^Why?^ she   
thought. ^Ikari, how is it you make me feel this way?^  
  
Finally, Shinji stopped walking. Rei stopped short, as well, not   
wanting to leave him behind. That, and she could tell he had something   
to say.  
  
"Is that really all you care about, Ayanami?" Shinji asked, looking her   
right in the eye.  
  
Rei blinked. She's seen many expressions on Shinji Ikari's face   
before, but this was a new one. His face was deadpan, but his eyes   
were hard. It was as though fury was somewhere down inside of him, and   
the sheer effort of controlling it was killing all facial expression.  
  
"It was what needed to be done - " Rei began.  
  
"But _is_ that all you think about?" Shinji asked, anger beginning to   
seep into his voice. "Is Eva _all_ you do? Just 'how can I defeat the   
next enemy quickest?'"  
  
"Ikari...I...no, I have chosen to live beyond Eva."  
  
"And how so?" Shinji asked, looking at her again with those hard eyes.  
  
Rei's throat closed up. ^Because of you,^ she thought. But she found   
that she couldn't say it. Just thinking about telling him how she felt   
made the feelings of fear grow tenfold. As such, she averted her eyes   
from his.  
  
^Why do I fear him?^ she thought. ^I have no reason to...do I?^  
  
"You _really_ haven't changed, have you, Ayanami?" Shinji asked. "I   
thought you were a girl trying to start her life over. But no, your   
life is still just as tied to Eva as it always was...maybe even _more_   
so, now. You only care about killing 'the enemy', and you _still_   
don't care about your life or the lives of others."  
  
He paused, thinking. "Even without my father around, that's all you   
are," he said, his voice so quiet it was almost a whisper. "Maybe you   
should have stayed in the LCL."  
  
Rei's throat went dry as he spoke. He didn't shout, or even raise his   
voice until those last few words. Through it all, his tone had been   
even and calm. Somehow, that had made it even worse than if he'd   
become violent and animated. And, because of this, Rei finally figured   
out what she'd been wondering about.  
  
^Ikari is rejecting me,^ she thought. ^He does not desire my presence.   
Did I...fear this would happen?^  
  
The last time she'd thought he rejected her, she'd become angry. This   
time, though, she was just stunned. Her mind was running in a loop,   
unable to come up with anything to say or do to try and make it better.   
Perhaps the damage had already been done.  
  
^Just like that other time,^ she thought. ^When he chose to leave me   
behind, it was too late. I could not go with him.^  
  
"Well, come on," Shinji said, sounding tired and fed up. "We still   
have to go and see Akagi-san."  
  
Still a little shocked, Rei just nodded, and trailed after him as he   
walked off.  
  
***  
  
Kaoru trudged into the large shelter he and Rei shared. It had indeed   
been a very _long_ day.  
  
He made it over to the blanket he slept on, lowering himself onto it   
and lying on his back. After a moment, he laced his fingers together   
behind his head. He closed his eyes, letting himself relax. He wasn't   
tired enough to sleep, but his muscles were protesting against any   
further movement.  
  
^It is disturbing, hearing what Arael...Ariel told us. So the other   
Angels may remain a threat. I myself never would have guessed the MP   
Evas could have been used again, so it only makes sense that Rei would   
have missed that, as well. I hope we have the strength to handle any   
others that decide to attack.^  
  
He sighed. It was too late in the day to be thinking like this. He   
needed to sleep. He closed his eyes and let himself relax.  
  
Some measure of time passed. The sun, already starting to dip below   
the horizon, set as he dozed off. The stars were beginning to wink   
into view as another set of tired footsteps roused him from his   
peaceful rest. He didn't need to open his eyes to tell who it was.  
  
"Good evening, Rei," he said, quietly.  
  
A muffled 'thud' sounded next to him, followed shortly thereafter by   
some rustling noises as Rei sat down. Kaoru opened his eyes, seeing   
that she'd dropped a small pack, and was pulling a small container out   
of it. If Kaoru's guess was right, the container was holding that stew   
he was quickly becoming sick of.  
  
Smoothly and methodically, Rei poured herself some of the gray liquid,   
using a small cup she'd brought along for the purpose. Eyes staring   
blankly into space, she started drinking. Kaoru could tell something   
was wrong. She looked like she was moving entirely by rote, not really   
thinking about what she was doing.  
  
"Rei?" he asked, turning his head a little to get a better look at her.   
"Is something bothering you?"  
  
The girl gave no indication she'd heard him. She just kept drinking   
her meal. Kaoru watched her for another few moments. He was about to   
look away when he saw it: a single, glistening tear pooled in her eye,   
then made a glittering trail down her face before finally falling to   
the ground. The girl never even seemed to notice it.  
  
"Rei?" he asked. "Rei, what's wrong?"  
  
Rei set her cup down and curled up, holding her legs against her chest.   
For the first time in several minutes, she blinked. Her eyes flickered   
over to the side, noting Kaoru's presence, and his questioning gaze.  
  
"Ikari-kun resents me," she said, finally.  
  
Kaoru propped himself up on one arm. He took a moment to choose his   
words, looking up into the darkening sky as he did so. He noticed that   
the moon was about to come out.  
  
"That's a rather strong word," he commented. "Are you certain he   
really feels that way? Or did he just say something out of anger?"  
  
Rei paused, her eyes flickering with a recent memory. "I fear it may   
be the former. He...he suggested that conditions would be better had I   
never returned."  
  
"Well, _that's_ not right," Kaoru replied. "You sound like you're not   
sure. I can tell you that things are better now than they would have   
been otherwise. You're getting a second chance."  
  
"...And with this 'second chance', I again choose a life path that   
revolves around Eva and battle."  
  
Kaoru licked his teeth pensively. "Is that true, Rei? Is Eva the only   
thing that matters in your life?"  
  
"No," Rei replied, immediately and without hesitation. Kaoru nodded,   
smiling at the certainty he heard in her voice.  
  
"But...when Ikari-kun asked me the same question, I could not answer,"   
she replied. "I found my thoughts were muddled. I was unable to think   
of a suitable response."  
  
"Why was that?"  
  
"I...I believe that I felt fear. Fear that my response would...cause   
him to reject me."  
  
Kaoru tilted his head, interested. He reached into the pack Rei had   
brought and sorted through its contents, eventually pouring himself a   
cup of the stew. The smell made his nose curl up, but he knew he had   
to eat something after the day's events.  
  
"I wonder..." he began, casually. "Why you would suddenly fear a   
single lilum. You have been able to face down Angels, and even deal   
with your own death, so easily. So why the fear?"  
  
Rei shook her head. "My...memories of Third Impact have slowly been   
resurfacing. I still cannot recall the specifics," she said. "But I   
know that I started it, that I unified humanity into a sea of souls, so   
that I could protect Ikari-kun. And..." she trailed off, her throat   
closing for a moment. She didn't quite understand why her throat would   
seal up like that, but it took a few moments before she could clear it.   
"And I remember he rejected Third Impact, and in doing so rejected me.   
Perhaps...with this 'second chance' I have, I fear it will end the same   
way my past existence did."  
  
Kaoru nodded thoughtfully. "How do you feel about Shinji-kun, Rei?   
You don't sound as sure as you normally do."  
  
Rei remained silent for a long time. Kaoru eventually levered himself   
into a sitting position, forcing himself to drink the stew he had. He   
waited, patiently.  
  
"I do not have a single word," Rei said, quietly. "I remember feeling   
angry, when I first thought he was rejecting me. But at the same time   
I felt fear, because I somehow knew I would be helpless to stop him if   
he _did_ decide to reject me. I have never been helpless before, yet   
Ikari-kun makes me feel that way. It is...disturbing."  
  
"Understandable," Kaoru commented. "I myself feared letting Shinji-kun   
become too close, as that would mean I could be hurt. I believe all   
lilum feel the same way."  
  
Kaoru observed her silent form as the night slowly descended. Rei just   
sat there for the next hour or so, thinking over the day's events.   
After a while, she lay down and closed her eyes, trying to rest.   
  
At some point during their conversation, the moon had made its   
appearance. As Rei moved, though, the light of the moon fell on her,   
lighting up her pale skin and giving it the appearance of porcelain.  
  
Flawless...priceless...untouchable...all those words described the   
feeling Kaoru got looking at her, at that moment. A thought came into   
his mind.  
  
"When was the last time someone touched you?" he asked Rei.  
  
Rei turned her head, meeting his eyes with a cold stare. But after a   
moment, her eyes softened and she blinked. "What do you mean?" she   
asked.  
  
"When did someone willingly make physical contact with you? Or the   
other way around," he added on, almost as an afterthought.  
  
Rei turned away again, going back to staring straight ahead. "Six days   
ago," she replied.  
  
"And before that?"  
  
"The day before."  
  
Kaoru nodded, pursing his lips. "Impressive," he replied. "This from   
the girl who drives everyone away?"  
  
It might have been a trick of the light, but Rei's cheeks appeared to   
redden slightly. She turned her head so he wouldn't see. "Ikari-kun   
is slightly more open," she replied.  
  
Kaoru blinked. "What do you mean? That he has less trouble touching   
you?"  
  
"He does not fear me as much as the others do," Rei replied in the same   
even voice, though her blush deepened. "I asked him to."  
  
Kaoru nodded again. He looked away from her, closing his eyes again.   
"Have you ever touched him?" he asked. "It may help you come to grips   
with your feelings."  
  
Rei blinked at the question, again turning her head to look over at   
him. For a long time, she said nothing. Kaoru's breathing became slow   
and even during this time, but Rei could somehow tell that he was not   
asleep.  
  
"It has not..." she finally replid, speaking slowly. "It has only   
served to make me more confused."  
  
Kaoru opened one eye, the single red iris turning to gaze at her.   
"Where did you touch him?"  
  
Rei let out a breath, slowly. "His cheek," she replied. "Both times."  
  
"Both?"  
  
"I struck him one day, long ago...when he insulted the Commander. And,   
six days ago...I caressed his other cheek, with my other hand."  
  
Kaoru smiled, closing his eye again. "You are an enigma, Rei. You   
fear him, yet feel safe around him. You've hit him, yet you have   
caressed him, as well. I don't know what to tell you."  
  
"I did not expect you to know, Kaoru-san."  
  
"Then again," he continued, as though Rei hadn't spoken, "lilum _are_   
known for their contradictions."  
  
Rei blinked, not looking at him. She stood up and, using her good arm   
rolled up her right sleeve, baring some of her pale skin. Kaoru,   
hearing the rustling, sat up, opening his eyes and watching, curiously.  
  
"Yet there is something else I fear, Kaoru-san," she said, reaching   
down into the pack.  
  
"Which is?"  
  
Rei stood back up. Her left hand now clutched a black knife hilt.   
"That what I feel may soon disappear," she said. "Can you not sense   
it, Kaoru-san? My feelings seem dulled, after this most recent   
battle."  
  
Kaoru maintained eye contact a little longer, then looked away from   
her, saying nothing.  
  
Rei pressed the release catch on the hilt, the glittering blade   
flipping out of the handle and locking into place. "You knew?" she   
asked, unsurprised.  
  
Kaoru remained silent, still not making eye contact. He shook his   
head, though not in response to Rei's question.  
  
As she watched him, Rei inverted the blade and buried it into her cast.  
  
Kaoru took notice immediately. Shocked, he raised one hand, his mouth   
opening to shout at her to stop. But from the look on Rei's face, he   
could tell that doing so would not help. She was determined to   
accomplish what she was doing.  
  
"Be careful," he said, watching as she cut a longitudinal slash down   
the cast.  
  
"I have cut off my own casts before," she replied, getting down to her   
wrist and finishing the cut. She then turned her arm over and made a   
matching cut on the other side. Kaoru watched quietly, letting her   
show him whatever it was she wanted to show him. He had a fairly good   
idea of what it was.  
  
Finally, she was done. The cast fell off her arm, clattering to the   
ground in two pieces. Rei held out her now-freed arm. Kaoru could   
tell immediately that it was no longer broken. Rei flexed her arm,   
moving it through a few arcs to make sure it still worked.  
  
"No human heals so quickly," she said, quietly. "Yet after the battle,   
I felt that my arm was no longer injured."  
  
Kaoru made eye contact this time, nodding slowly.  
  
"For several minutes afterwards, my emotions were virtually   
nonexistent," Rei continued, looking down at him. She was visibly   
trying to keep her composure, but worry was still showing on her face.   
"I fear that if this continues, I will lose them."  
  
"So your emotions are important to you now, Rei?" Kaoru asked, tilting   
his head.  
  
Rei went silent, looking away from his eyes. "I do not know yet," she   
said. "Yet I still desire to explore them. I do not want them taken   
from me, before I can even understand them."  
  
"Well," Kaoru said, lying back down, "that's up to you, Rei. I will be   
here to talk, but I cannot explain your emotions for you."  
  
Rei was quiet after he said that, looking at him. Inside, she felt   
disappointed. Kaoru obviously had a better understanding of his   
feelings than she did. She'd been hoping he could tell her what she   
was missing out on.  
  
Finally, Rei shook her head slightly, and turned to go.  
  
"Goodnight, Rei," Kaoru mumbled, listening to her leave. ^And I wish   
you good luck in figuring out what you feel,^ he mentally added on. ^I   
know I would not want to be in your shoes, right now.^  
  
He turned and looked up into the silvery eye of the moon. It was   
moving across the night sky through a sea of stars, looking down at the   
world like it always did. It was almost as though it were searching   
for something.  
  
^I truly hope you don't become like that, Rei,^ he thought. ^Always   
searching, and not even knowing what you're looking for. Lilum do not   
deserve to feel like that.^  
  
***  
  
Rei walked out of the shelter, turning and going around behind it.   
There, illuminated by the moon, Unit-00 knelt, powered down and waiting   
until it was needed.  
  
Rei approached the mech, her face betraying only a small hint of the   
confusion she felt inside. She felt as though she needed a change in   
scenery. And the Eva had been a companion for so long, she felt that   
she would be able to relax if she was near it. Even though it was just   
a machine, it still played a large part in her life.  
  
^Humans are governed by their contradictions,^ she thought. ^I have   
heard Doctor Akagi say the same thing, when describing the workings of   
the MAGI to the technicians. Constant conflicts make humans what they   
are.^  
  
Rei made it up to the Eva's foot and sat down, leaning back against it.   
^But do I want that?^ she wondered, as she felt the cold metal stealing   
her body warmth. It eerily reminded her of the cold feeling she'd had   
just after winning against the MP Eva that day.  
  
^Do I want to follow a human's life path? For the entirety of my   
existence, I have had very few doubts about anything I ever did. If I   
did anything, it was necessary. If I felt anything, it was extraneous   
and should be ignored. But life is so difficult, now. I am finding   
the exploration of my emotions to be very informative.^  
  
She briefly remembered the warm, contented sensation she'd felt, for   
just a moment, as she'd caressed Shinji's cheek. She closed her eyes,   
almost able to feel his cheek under her hand. ^And these emotions   
are...pleasing, as well.^  
  
But the feeling was dull, as though she were feeling his cheek through   
a glove now, instead of her bare hand. The feeling of contentment was   
also dimmed, slowly being replaced by apathy.  
  
Then, with a suddenness that shocked even her, she recalled another   
memory: of sharp contact, and brief pain, as her palm struck Shinji's   
cheek.  
  
^I had never become so...angered, before,^ she thought, remembering.   
^Yet Ikari-kun made me feel that way. Just as he is making me feel   
these confusing emotions. I am afraid of these changes, but at the   
same time I desire them. This is yet another contradiction. It is   
difficult, being human...so do I desire that?^  
  
She again remembered the feeling of Shinji's face under her hand, from   
both times she'd touched it. She clenched her left hand into a loose   
fist, and held it against her chest, feeling her heart beating   
underneath her shirt. She shifted her weight and slid off to the   
right, until she was lying on her side, with her back still against the   
Eva's foot. She closed her eyes, letting sleep come as she curled up   
again.  
  
She was tired, now, and still unused to thinking out complex personal   
matters such as this. She'd think about it later.  
  
***  
  
About ten minutes later, Rei became aware that the scenery around her   
had changed.  
  
For one, she was sitting down. For another, she was sitting in her old   
school classroom, and wearing her old school uniform. Currently, she   
was resting in her standard position: chin resting on the heel of her   
hand, staring disinterestedly out the window. The scene outside was of   
the night sky, with the moon still rising. However, its glowing   
surface was marred by roiling, swirling clouds, which threatened to   
extinguish the soft light it gave off, illuminating the classroom.  
  
As she looked, she saw her reflection in the glass of the window. And   
for once, this reflection did _not_ show what she looked like. In the   
glass, her reflection was quite visibly naked, and was standing instead   
of sitting, with its arms hanging loosely by its sides.  
  
"Who is this?" came a voice from behind her.  
  
Rei turned to face the speaker. She blinked as she saw a young girl -   
no more than six years old - standing there, not far from her. A   
young girl, with blue hair. And red eyes.  
  
"This is me," Rei replied, remembering the last time she'd pondered her   
existence.  
  
"And me as well," the girl replied. As she said this, she blinked.   
When she opened her eyes again, they were glowing bright red. It only   
lasted a moment, however; even as Rei watched, the glow died off. The   
little girl smirked, as the glow vanished.  
  
"You...you are the Dummy plug?" Rei asked, taken aback.  
  
"To an extent," the other girl said, climbing up to a desk and sitting   
down on its edge. "I am still you. I am the you that follows orders   
without question. That does what she is told, no matter what the   
consequences. That is the nature of the Dummy, is it not?"  
  
Rei nodded, slowly. She opened her mouth to say something when she   
felt a cold breeze enter the room, caressing her bare legs and arms,   
making her shiver. She turned around, seeing that the windows were   
still tightly closed.  
  
But in turning around, Rei noticed something else: that her reflection   
had detached itself from the window. It had gained no substance in   
moving this way, however. As such, a translucent, nude copy of herself   
stood in front of her, staring at her dispassionately. It seemed to   
emanate cold, slowly chilling the air around it like a breeze from the   
heart of winter.  
  
"I am you, as well," the reflection said. Its voice echoed, as though   
being heard from a long way off, at the end of a tunnel.  
  
"What are you?" Rei asked, confused.  
  
The reflection said nothing, but closed its eyes. Moments after it had   
done so, its back expanded, growing outwards and forming into a six   
pairs of wings, just as ethereal as the rest of the reflection. They   
were neither birdlike nor batlike, but possessed qualities of both.   
The ghostly girl opened her eyes again.  
  
"I see..." Rei said. "You are an Angel."  
  
"As you were," the reflection said, its voice as cold as its body.   
"And as you are becoming. I have gained in strength recently."  
  
Rei tried to control herself, but felt fear slowly crawling up her gut,   
nevertheless. The reflection gave no outward reaction, but spoke   
again.  
  
"You fear me, just as the humans do," it said. "I am unable to feel   
this fear."  
  
"Or other emotions," Rei completed for it. "You are what suppresses my   
feelings."  
  
"I am also what protects you. An ordinary human would be unable to   
control an Eva, or use an AT field."  
  
"Yet you are stealing my life," Rei replied, her brow furrowing.  
  
"You need me, nonetheless," the reflection said, as unemotional as   
ever. "You need my strength to fight your battles. And in battle,   
feeling nothing is preferable to feeling regret."  
  
"You need me, as well," the young girl-slash-Dummy plug added in,   
breaking her silence. "I am the part of you which you do not wish to   
relinquish."  
  
Rei turned to face the girl. "I do not understand."  
  
The other girl smirked, again. "You do not want to live without a   
Commander," she said. "You wish to have someone tell you what to do."  
  
Rei remained silent, knowing that there was nothing she could say to   
that statement, other than quiet agreement.  
  
"You wish to live only for battle," the girl said. "You fear living   
beyond Eva."  
  
"No," Rei said, in response. "There is...more I would have in my   
life."  
  
The girl's eyes glowed again. "Perhaps. _You_ at least have the   
choice. My life will never be anything but battle. And yet..."  
  
The girl trailed off. Rei controlled herself, waiting for the girl to   
finish her sentence.  
  
"Yet I believe that I am achieving something preferable," the young   
girl began again. She tilted her head, thoughtfully. "I feel that I   
am beginning to enjoy this sensation of combat."  
  
"You enjoy it?" Rei asked, blinking.  
  
"I believe so," the girl said, turning to look at Rei again. "The feel   
of the knife in my hand, and...to a much greater extent, the feel of my   
opponent's blood splashing on me...was pleasurable."  
  
This being Rei's mind, her shock was easily read on her face. She   
tried to reach out, to make the dream end.  
  
"You fear admitting it to yourself," the girl said. "That some small   
part of you enjoys this. That is why you cannot abandon Eva. It is   
your addiction."  
  
"And it is why you wish to reject your humanity," the reflection added.   
"You are unable to turn your back on this power. Though you hate it,   
you love it as well."  
  
Rei drew back. "No. I cannot believe that."  
  
The dream abruptly began to end. The colors shifted and faded away,   
going to the blackness and oblivion Rei usually slept with. But just   
before it ended, the girl's soft voice, as well as the reflection's   
echoing voice, rang out as one:  
  
"You will, Rei Ayanami."  
  
* * *  
  
In her sleep, Rei rolled over, her brow furrowing as she moaned.   
Shivering, she hugged herself for warmth, as she waited for the night   
to end.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: May 29, 2001  
Version 1 Ended: June 15, 2001  
Version 2 Ended: July 15, 2001  
  
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com  
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei  
  
As always, thank you, prereaders: Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai,   
and Judging Eagle. A special thanks goes to Avatar, for having given   
me the ideas for several of the scenes in this chapter, as well as a   
title.  



	11. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 8: Only the Dead May Rest  
  
As the night crept in over the small encampment, Shinji finally made it   
into his shelter. His tired eyes looked around the dark enclosure,   
looking to see if he was alone. Finding that he was, his brow   
furrowed.  
  
"Asuka?" he asked the room. The only response was from his own voice,   
as it echoed off the walls.  
  
He turned around, standing in the doorway for a long moment. He felt   
very tired, and the absence of any living thing only made the dark   
inside the shelter more fearful as shadows consumed the world outside.   
Asuka wasn't here...so if he tried to sleep, he'd have to lie there on   
the hard ground, with the darkness and the cold as his only companions,   
and force his mind to clear long enough. Long enough for a light,   
dreamless sleep to fall on him, which would give him sleep, but not   
rest.  
  
Stay or go? It was an easy choice, really.  
  
His weary feet carried him around the camp. Many people greeted him as   
he passed. He made some effort to return their attention, though his   
heart wasn't in it. He eventually made it to the center of the camp   
where, as usual, a fire was burning, driving off the oppressive cold   
and darkness of the starry night.  
  
He sat down hard once he'd made it there. Leaning back, he laced his   
fingers underneath his head and looked up at the sky. He knew Asuka   
would eventually come this way; it was only a matter of patience. But   
until then, he was left alone with his thoughts.  
  
^I was hard on her, wasn't I?^ he thought, going back over his last  
conversation with Rei. ^I didn't mean to sound so angry. But...it   
_was_ her fault.^   
  
He let out a sigh. ^Geez...it's good that she's making decisions on   
her own, but just on this point, I wish she'd follow orders like she   
used to. Hm...maybe _that's_ what I should've said to her.^  
  
He closed his eyes, inwardly berating himself. Rei had withdrawn   
entirely within herself after he'd berated her for the use of the Dummy   
Plug. She had only spoken once when they'd gone to see Ritsuko, and   
her voice had been that efficient, calculating, cold monotone Shinji   
remembered. It was the tone that she'd use to describe death and   
destruction just as easily as though she were talking about the   
weather.  
  
He closed his eyes, trying to rest for a while. He never got the   
chance.  
  
"Hey, what ch'a doing, Shinji-kun?" came a familiar, playful voice from   
above him.  
  
Shinji's eyes cracked open. "Oh...good evening, Misato-san."  
  
The woman smiled, then sat down next to him, hugging one leg to her   
body and stretching out the other one on the ground. "You look   
tired," she said, quietly.  
  
"Uh huh. Just been a hard day."  
  
"Been hard on everyone, Shinji-kun. You're doing your best."  
  
Shinji just sighed, quietly. He looked into the fire, watching as its   
fuel burned away, every pop and hiss releasing a cloud of sparks, like   
firey snow.  
  
"Something wrong, Shinji-kun?" Misato asked, tilting her head and   
looking down at him.  
  
Shinji groaned, propping himself up on his elbows. Rocks dug into his   
arms, but well-developed calluses resisted the sandpaper-like texture   
of the dirt.  
  
"I just got back from talking with Ritsuko-san," he said.  
  
"Oh," Misato responded. For once, she didn't look playful at all.   
Instead, she actually looked serious, wearing an expression which was   
usually only caused by incoming monsters or impending apocalypses.   
"And how's Ritsu doing?"  
  
Shinji shrugged tiredly. "I'm just thinking about what she told us."  
  
"Us? Now I know Asuka wasn't with you, so who..."  
  
"Ayanami."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Ritsuko-san says she needs more time before she can tell us   
anything," Shinji said, his head drooping to look at the ground. "But,   
still..."  
  
Misato said nothing. Her eyes were filled with worry, but her face was   
attentive.  
  
"Well...you know those two Evas that attacked us? They just...Ritsuko-  
san told me how their attack patterns were highly similar to a couple   
of Angels. From back before all this," he said, gesturing with a tilt   
of his head at the shantytown.  
  
"And what does she think of that?" Misato asked. As she spoke, one of   
her hands moved unconsciously, going under her shirt and touching her   
side. Once, there had been a tremendous scar there, and it had stayed   
there for more than half of her life, while she sought out her own   
personal vengeance. Now, though...there was nothing. Her eyes   
betrayed a small measure of regret. She'd thought it had been over   
with.  
  
"I don't know what to think," Shinji said. "But...Ayanami said that   
they probably _were_ Angels," he continued, remembering the one time   
Rei had spoken during the conversation with Akagi. "She said that   
Angels could find the will to return, too." Rei hadn't explained _how_   
she knew, though. No amount of prodding had been able to coax _that_   
explanation out of the blue-haired girl.  
  
Misato shook her head. "Son of a _bitch_..." she mumbled to herself,   
frustration and anger evident in her voice, even at that quiet tone.   
  
"Well," she continued, raising her voice so Shinji could more easily   
hear, "even if that's what they are, you're just putting names on   
something that's already there. It could be worse, you know."  
  
"I guess." Shinji fell silent for a long time. Then he blinked, as a   
thought hit him. "Hey...could we get on the line with the Americans?   
Maybe we could have them keep an eye on the other Evas for us."  
  
Misato broke eye contact. Her head turned, looking over at another   
side of the clearing. There, protected under a ramshackle awning, was   
the long-distance communicator the Americans had left for them.  
  
"They called a while ago," she said, after an uncomfortable pause.   
"They wanted to know what happened to their plane."  
  
^Oh, no...^ Shinji thought. "And what happened?"  
  
"I told them," Misato said, turning to look back at him. "I told them   
another 'giant robot' came by and destroyed it." She paused. "I   
thought for sure they wouldn't buy it. But they wouldn't even say   
that. They just went really quiet."  
  
"Maybe it broke?" Shinji asked, trying to scrape up some tiny measure   
of hope.  
  
Misato shook her head. "No. They finally got back, and said they were   
going to 'investigate.' And no, I don't have the damndest idea of what   
that means."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Sorry to be telling you all this, Shinji. I probably just made it a   
lot harder for you to sleep, huh?"  
  
Shinji smiled sadly. "Don't feel bad, Misato-san. Now at least you've   
got it off your chest."  
  
Misato's mouth quirked, with a touch of guilt and sadness. "Come on,"   
she said, standing up and extending a hand to him. "You need to be   
getting to bed. Maybe you can help out Asuka tomorrow."  
  
"That reminds me," Shinji said, taking the hand and standing up.   
"Where is Asuka, anyway?"  
  
"Oh. She's over at the plane," Misato said, pointing off in the   
general direction of the crash site. "Probably coming back, now that   
it's dark. You want to wait for her?"  
  
Shinji wobbled on his feet. "I think I'll wait back home," he said,   
his feet uncommittedly stumbling towards his shelter.  
  
"OK. Goodnight, Shinji-kun."  
  
"Goodnight, Misato-san."  
  
Though the combined effects of fatigue, stress, and worry weighed down   
on the boy, making his limbs feel like dead weights, Shinji somehow   
managed to get inside his shelter before collapsing onto the hard   
ground. But once there, he didn't even have the energy to pull a   
blanket around himself. He just closed his eyes and started the long,   
slow process of trying to sleep. After some time, another person else   
came in. Shinji opened his eyes, looking at Asuka's form as she crept   
in, brushing dust off of herself. Without a word, she got down next to   
him.  
  
They said goodnight to each other, before falling asleep, sharing each   
other's body warmth. Both felt disappointed, not having enough time to   
talk with each other once again; it had been happening more and more,   
with all the excitement in these past few days. But they were both   
still there for each other; they were both there to reassure and   
comfort one another. And that was all they needed. At least, for now.  
  
***  
  
Ariel grunted, choking on dust as she climbed down into the crater.  
  
She'd been awake since before sunrise, and she'd had to walk for quite   
a while to get out here. She was thankful that she'd had a few days to   
rest and become truly used to her new form, allowing it some respite   
from the ordeal of emerging from the LCL. It had also given her some   
time to sort out her thoughts. She hadn't originally intended on doing   
this, but guilt had begun creeping into her mind as the days passed.   
She needed to do this. It was the right thing to do.  
  
Her shoes - a set of well-worn sneakers - slipped and scraped on the   
too-steep wall of the crater. She grasped at the loose dirt, clutching   
at what handholds she could find and feeling the dirt grind in under   
her fingernails. Finally, the slope became more gentle. She jumped   
off the wall, skidding along the ground and nearly losing her balance   
as her foot caught a rock. Her backpack shifted, its contents bumping   
her in the head as she pitched forwards.  
  
Breathing hard, she jumped to catch herself, regaining her balance as   
her feet hit the ground again. This new body was unwieldy and poorly   
balanced. But she was getting the hang of it; it was all a matter of   
control. And a being which can manipulate an AT field to cut into the   
deepest recesses of a person's mind has little trouble controlling   
simple flesh and bone.  
  
She walked forwards, her movements smooth and fluid. Her feet left   
shallow prints in the firmly packed dirt. As she moved, she passed by   
tiny scraps of metal and bits of what might have once been flesh. Even   
the largest of these scraps was no bigger than her hand. Their   
previous, magnificent form had been blasted, shattered into billions of   
pieces and scattered to the winds. The Eva's death had been as   
complete a death as could ever be known; it had simply ceased to exist.  
  
That Kensuke boy had explained what had happened out here. The first   
of the white Evas, the one that had attacked by diving into the ground,   
had met its demise out here, leaving this crater where its body had   
once been.  
  
Ariel unshouldered the backpack and fumbled with its seam. She paused,   
forcing her mind to remember how to work the zipper, before she   
succeeded in opening it. She reached inside, searching through the   
contents by feel. Finally, she found what she'd been looking for.  
  
She removed a thin slab of stone. It was nothing more than a broken   
piece of concrete, about forty by eight centimeters. But to the former   
Angel, it was much more than just a rock. Painted onto it, done in   
rough kanji, was a single word: "Sahaquiel."  
  
Ariel had found the stone some time ago, lying on the ground. She'd   
picked it up, not really knowing what she could use it for, at first.   
But then she'd gotten the idea of using it as a marker. All she'd   
needed was to find a little black paint, afterwards.  
  
In truth, the most difficult part had been writing the name. The paint   
had stuck well to the smooth surface. But Ariel had had to think   
_very_ hard to remember what she was supposed to write. Apparently,   
that lilum girl hadn't been very good with kanji.  
  
Ariel knelt down, carefully placing the stone on the ground in the   
center of the crater. It was a pointless gesture, she knew. But she   
also knew that she wouldn't be able to rest easily until she did it.  
  
She crossed her hands and closed her eyes, holding a private moment of   
silence for her fallen brother. Then she stood up and turned away,   
shouldering the backpack again. Something solid shifted inside the   
pack, banging her in the small of her back. Ariel flinched in pain,   
but kept going. She made it to the wall of the crater and started up,   
this time going _against_ gravity.  
  
Her whole body protested with the exertion, but she ignored it. She   
just climbed, knowing that it wasn't really all that far. Finally, she   
made it up to the edge, and rolled over onto the ground, breathing hard   
and wiping the sweat off of her face. She closed her eyes as the   
sunlight blinded her.  
  
^Fare thee well, Sahaquiel,^ she thought, not even wasting the breath   
to voice these words. She could think of no other words for the fallen   
Angel. There was no higher power she believed in to wish him good luck   
with, and no afterlife she knew of; she knew that Sahaquiel was truly   
no more.  
  
She shivered, in spite of the heat from the early morning sun.   
^Obliterated,^ she thought, as she got to her feet and started walking   
off towards the site of the second attack. ^Utterly ceasing to exist.   
Your very immortal essence being erased. Even the Lilum would be able   
to grasp the tragedy of it; though their bodies may die, they always   
believe that some part of them will survive.^  
  
^Humans,^ she thought, shaking her head. ^That is the name   
Tabris...Nagisa told me to use. I cannot let myself slip. I have the   
mental capacity to keep up this charade, I am certain.^  
  
She trudged into the shanty town, thinking these thoughts. Once she'd   
passed the first shelter, she stopped for a moment, sitting down on the   
ground and unshouldering the pack again. Reaching into a side pocket,   
she pulled out a water bottle. She'd worked up quite a sweat in   
walking this far, with the sun on her the whole way. She tilted her   
head back and took a long drink, then let water pour onto her head,   
cooling her off.  
  
As cool droplets fell off of her eyelashes, she looked back down. Her   
eyes widened.  
  
A girl, about Ariel's own age, was walking towards her. The girl had   
reddish hair, blue eyes, and an odd...presence, around her. She _made_   
people pay attention to her, whether they wanted to or not. That was   
the nature of Asuka Soryu Langley.  
  
Ariel got up quickly, almost forgetting to re-pack the water bottle.   
She turned towards the girl and started walking, making certain she   
wasn't even looking in Asuka's general direction.  
  
She'd been surprised, when she first found that Asuka was here. Not   
only that, but that the girl was a _leader_. After she'd gotten over   
the shock, she'd filled up with aversion towards seeing the girl. She   
wasn't ready to talk to her just yet, even in this current form. To   
that end, she'd been avoiding Asuka, not even making eye contact if she   
could help it.  
  
Now she was walking towards Asuka so that they could pass quickly and   
then be going in opposite directions. It was the quickest way to put   
distance between them. Ariel's heartbeat accelerated tenfold as the   
distance closed. Finally, she was within a meter of passing the girl.  
  
"Good morning," Asuka said, nodding at Ariel as she shot by.  
  
"Guten morgen," Ariel mumbled, without thinking.  
  
She walked past Asuka and kept going. Yet as she listened, she heard   
Asuka's footsteps stop abruptly. Then the girl turned around and   
started walking towards Ariel. Ariel, for her part, sped up.  
  
Asuka broke into a jog, catching up to the white-haired girl in a   
moment.  
  
"Hey, wait up!" Asuka called out.  
  
"Shit," Ariel muttered, feeling she'd chosen the appropriate   
descriptive word for her feelings. She turned around, raising her head   
a little bit.  
  
"You're the new girl, right?" Asuka asked.  
  
Ariel, looking away, nodded.  
  
"Do...do you understand me?" Asuka asked, in fluent German.  
  
^Of course I understand, human,^ she thought. ^Considering my relation   
to you, it is no surprise that I can understand that inefficient   
language you are using.^  
  
"Inefficient", of course, was just from her frame of reference. Coming   
from a sea of LCL, where raw thoughts were exchanged, without clumsy   
words to hinder communication, _any_ language was second-rate, to   
Ariel. She was tempted to say something along those lines, but she   
successfully fought down that urge. She could no longer use telepathy,   
she knew. She also knew that there was no use chafing at bonds that   
could not be broken; that was a lesson she'd learned quite well during   
the years of her imprisonment in the limbo of the Room of Gauf.   
  
She started slowly backing away. ^I only have to say I do not   
understand,^ she thought. ^I just have to...tell something other than   
the truth. What is the word? Lie. Such a foreign concept...^  
  
"No...no, I don't," Ariel said, making sure she was speaking Japanese.  
  
Asuka blinked several times. "Nice try," she said, still using German.   
"If you don't understand me, then how'd you know what I asked, huh?"   
she asked, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
Ariel cursed herself for being so careless. She was _supposed_ to be a   
perfect being, not something that would make such a stupid mistake!   
Yet she'd messed up, anyway.  
  
^Probably a side effect of taking a lilum's body,^ she reasoned out, in   
the back of her mind. The rest of her mind, however, was concerned   
with trying to end this conversation.  
  
"Fine, just leave me alone," she said, turning away.  
  
"Oh ho," Asuka said, walking quickly to catch up to the rapidly   
departing girl. "You _don't_ just walk away from me. C'mon, let's   
talk."  
  
Ariel, after thinking a few words that were quite unfit for a higher   
being, glanced at Asuka, cringing as their eyes met. She immediately   
looked away again.  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"Why?" Asuka asked, incredulously. "Because I want to, that's why.   
You're the first person I've met here who knows German."  
  
"I find that difficult to believe," Ariel said, trying to walk away.   
Asuka dug in her heels and grabbed the other girl's arm, the contact   
making Ariel wince.   
  
"Well, you're the only girl my age," she said. "Do I need to make it   
an order?"  
  
"I...I have things which I must do," Ariel said, looking at her feet   
and trying to sound sufficiently apologetic. "I cannot talk with you,   
now."  
  
Asuka cocked an eyebrow at this. "Are you and Ayanami related or   
something? You sound just like her."  
  
Ariel's breath caught. Asuka tilted her head, looking quizzically at   
the white-haired girl.  
  
Ariel finally looked up from the ground, letting her pink eyes look   
straight into Asuka's blue ones. "I am _not_ like Ze...ahem...Rei,"   
she said. "You've got us confused."  
  
Asuka snorted, not letting her fear of the sudden mood change show.   
"Then talk with me," she said. "Humor me for a few minutes."  
  
Ariel grit her teeth. ^I do not want to speak with this girl...yet she   
says I sound like Zero, when I leave her behind. I do not want to be   
like Zero...but is she telling the truth? I am not certain.^ A moment   
passed, as she thought it through.  
  
^However...I suppose I would eventually have to speak with this girl.   
I could not realistically avoid her forever.^  
  
"Very well, you win," Ariel said, finally switching over to German.   
"What do you want?"  
  
"That's more like it," Asuka said, crossing her arms. "C'mon, follow   
me," she said, gesturing for Ariel to follow. Her stride showed   
absolute confidence. And as Ariel followed, she knew that confidence   
was justified. They both knew Asuka had been the winner of that verbal   
engagement.  
  
Ariel, her face a dark cloud, came alongside Asuka as they walked.   
"Where are we going?" she asked, sounding as though she'd rather be   
anywhere other than here.  
  
"To get something to eat," Asuka said, pretending not to notice the   
tone in Ariel's voice. "I'm hungry."  
  
As if in response, Ariel's stomach grumbled. She looked down at her   
abdomen, a questioning look on her face. ^So many new physical   
reactions,^ she thought.  
  
They made it to the shelter Asuka and Shinji shared. Asuka walked   
right through the doorway. Ariel hesitated, glancing around and taking   
a moment to collect herself before slowly stepping inside.  
  
Ariel took a seat on the floor, as Asuka sat down across from her.   
^So...^ Ariel thought. ^This is where Soryu and...Ikari-kun reside.   
It seems quite normal.^  
  
That was, in itself, somewhat disillusioning. Ariel had only recently   
realized that the "Ikari-kun" Rei had mentioned during Third Impact was   
the other leader of this encampment. But he was no more than a boy!   
This...mere lilum _child_ had singlehandedly destroyed so many of her   
brethren? _And_ interrupt Third Impact, no less? When she had first   
seen the much-vaunted "Ikari-kun", she had expected to see a colossus   
worthy of this legacy. And yet here he was, living in a simple shanty,   
just like everyone else. She often wondered, with a touch of fear, how   
the boy had ever been able to perform those godlike deeds.  
  
"Do you eat meat?" Asuka asked, dragging over a plate that had been   
waiting just inside the doorway. She was still speaking German. It   
was a great feeling, for her. Something akin to dusting off a favorite   
book, and finding that it was still in good condition.  
  
Ariel blinked. "Of course," she said, in the same language. "It is a   
basic part of lil...human nourishment."  
  
Asuka nodded approvingly before sliding the plate over to Ariel.   
"That's good," she said, through a mouthful of what could have been   
bread. "At least you're not weird, like Ayanami."  
  
Ariel blinked again, freezing up and looking at Asuka. The other girl   
had her eyes closed at the moment, relaxing as she sat down for the   
first time all morning. Ariel nodded silently in agreement with what   
the girl had said. Then, she started picking through what was left,   
looking for anything that appeared even slightly edible.  
  
"So..." Asuka began, as she chewed on something. "Where're you from?   
You're pretty good with the language."  
  
Ariel's mind blanked, and she dropped the bread she'd been holding.   
She didn't know how to answer this question. The truth would be a very   
bad choice, but she couldn't think of a way to twist the truth enough   
to make it sound more..._normal_.  
  
"I can't remember," she said, in a rush.   
  
^Idiot,^ she thought. ^She will not accept that. A human would be   
able to remember.^  
  
Contrary to Ariel's fears, however, Asuka just nodded knowingly.   
"Yeah, we get people like that," she said. "Turns out you can block   
out memories when you come back. At least you can remember your name,   
huh?" she asked, smiling at the other girl.  
  
Ariel hesitated, having not expected this response. After some   
indecision, she chose to return Asuka's smile. It seemed to be the   
best choice.  
  
"Then you get stuck in this...great copy of hell," Asuka continued,   
looking out the door. But it was only for a moment; she quickly looked   
back to Ariel. "What do you think of it?"  
  
"It is...better than my previous existence," Ariel responded, slowly.  
  
Asuka's eyes narrowed, and she looked at her questioningly, not quite   
understanding. Ariel was sure she could feel sweat beginning to break   
out on her forehead, under that gaze. Finally, though, Asuka shrugged   
and went back to her meal.  
  
"I've had some difficulty adjusting," Ariel began, trying to break the   
awkward silence that fell on them. "There are...many changes that I   
need to make to my old lifestyle."  
  
Asuka smirked. "Yeah, I noticed. Who gave you _that_ wardrobe?   
Probably one of those hentais..."  
  
Ariel blinked in surprise and looked down at herself. She was wearing   
the first set of clothes she'd been able to find: a set of worn khaki   
shorts, which were a little _too_ short, and a white tank top. The   
shirt was actually about her size, but the exertions of the morning had   
coated her torso with sweat, making the garment essentially skin-tight,   
and highlighting the fact that she wasn't wearing undergarments.  
  
"I don't understand," Ariel said, confused.  
  
Asuka snorted out a laugh. "You're kidding me. Haven't you noticed?   
I think those last guys you walked by are going to nosebleed to death.   
But then again, they might just deserve it," she added on, in a lower,   
confidential tone of voice.  
  
Ariel cocked her head. ^That is not physically possible,^ she thought.   
^They were not injured. _What_ have I not noticed?^  
  
"I've never paid much heed to what I wore," she said, truthfully. "So   
I just took the first things I could find."  
  
Asuka put one hand over her eyes, looking down in an effort to hide her   
smile. "Oh, man..." she said. "Well, here," she said, getting to her   
feet.  
  
Asuka walked over to the corner of the shelter and picked up a folded   
shirt that had been laying there. She threw it at Ariel, who deftly   
caught it before it could hit the ground.  
  
"Use one of mine, at least until you can find something better," Asuka   
explained. "Otherwise, these guys will start...you know, getting the   
wrong idea."  
  
Ariel only barely understood. She had some grasp of human psychology.   
And she could guess how people in a situation such as this could react,   
given the appropriate stimuli. Mentally shrugging, she grabbed the hem   
of her shirt and yanked it off with one motion.  
  
"Whoa!" Asuka said in surprise. The girl turned away and grabbed at a   
curtain hanging in front of the doorway. She tugged it over, giving   
them some privacy.  
  
"I meant wait 'til you found somewhere to _change_!" Asuka said, unable   
to keep from showing an amused smile.  
  
"Oh...all right," Ariel said, reaching down to pick up her old shirt.  
  
"No, no. Go ahead and pull it on," Asuka said, waving the other girl   
off.  
  
Ariel, now utterly confused, sighed and unfolded the loose, red garment   
Asuka had thrown her. Asuka, noticing something as she looked at the   
other girl, raised an eyebrow.  
  
"That's an interesting mark," she said, offhandedly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"On your chest."  
  
Ariel looked down, contorting herself a little so she could see her own   
chest. She saw it immediately: a line of pale skin, not much thicker   
than a pencil point, was cut smoothly into a perfect spiral, starting   
dead-center over her sternum and expanding outwards until it was   
halfway up the curve of her breasts.  
  
Ariel turned away, both in embarassment, and to hide her reaction. She   
fumbled with the shirt, managing to drop it on the ground in her haste.  
  
"It's on your back, too," Asuka noted.  
  
Ariel cringed. "Really?" she asked, hoping Asuka was lying, this time.  
  
"Yeah. Looks like it lines up with the one on your chest, too. What   
happened?"  
  
"I...don't remember."  
  
"Heh. Did someone put a drill bit through your chest or something?"  
  
"I said I _don't_remember_!" Ariel repeated. Her voice rose as she   
spoke, until she was nearly shouting out the last word.  
  
Asuka, surprised, backed off. "Damn," she said, "I hit a nerve or   
something?"  
  
"Something like that," Ariel bit out, as she finally succeeded in   
pulling the shirt on. It was much looser than the last one, and left   
much more to the imagination. However, it was still a little tight   
here and there, due to the fact that her dimensions were larger than   
Asuka's in certain key places.  
  
Asuka shook her head, still smiling, as Ariel turned around. "What   
were you before all this happened, anyway? Fashion model?"  
  
"Why would I have been that?"  
  
Asuka shrugged. "You've got the body everyone wishes they had," she   
said. "I was just guessing."  
  
"Oh...well, I'm not...certain of what I was. If I cannot remember   
where I lived, I can't expect to remember something like my   
profession."  
  
"Yeah, I guess so," Asuka said, turning to go.  
  
Ariel followed, cautiously. "Thank you for breakfast," she said.  
  
"Right," Asuka said, nodding. "You oughta come by again, sometime."  
  
Suddenly, the redheaded girl turned around, stopping the other girl in   
her tracks. Asuka looked at her companion, pensively. Ariel for her   
part, began to sweat again.  
  
"Do I...know you?" Asuka asked, slowly.  
  
Ariel could actually _feel_ her heart thumping in her chest, right   
underneath the spiral scar Asuka had pointed out. "I do not know," she   
said. "I cannot recall."  
  
Asuka shook her head, trying to clear it. "It's the weirdest thing. I   
just feel like I've seen you somewhere. But I just can't remember."   
She looked at Ariel for another moment, studying the girl's face.  
  
"Simple deja vu, I suppose," Ariel choked out.  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Asuka said, turning away. "Well, maybe I saw you in   
Germany. You heard of Evangelion Unit-02?"  
  
Asuka, walking in front of Ariel, could not see the other girl close   
her eyes in an effort to maintain control. "Um...I believe I heard   
something of it," Ariel responded. "But I never went anywhere near   
it." That last part came out in a rush. It was the truth, at least.  
  
Asuka shrugged, without looking at the other girl. "Whatever," she   
said. "Well, let's talk again, sometime. I'd like to get to know you,   
Ariel."  
  
Ariel forced a smile, remembering that it was the polite thing to do.   
"Perhaps, Soryu. If I get a chance, I may speak with you again."  
  
"Great. And call me Asuka."  
  
"...Right."  
  
Ariel then excused herself, turning away and walking off, towards the   
site of the most recent battle. She only got a few steps, though,   
before she collapsed against the side of one shelter.  
  
Her breath came in brief gasps. She held one hand over her heart,   
feeling it beating rapidly. Going to her knees, she tried to collect   
herself.  
  
That had just been too close. She was still sure that she could keep   
her secret, provided Zero and Tabris didn't say anything. But it was   
definitely going to be more difficult that she'd first assumed.  
  
***  
  
Shinji stood a short distance from the work site, trying his best to   
look authoritative.  
  
A few dozen meters in front him lay a twisted, still-smoldering hunk of   
metal. It had come down days ago, but they were still going through it   
for what they could find. It had once been an airplane. Now, it was   
just an unsturdy supply depot.  
  
If anything, they'd been lucky that the plane had been going to drop   
supplies, instead of landing and offloading. As it stood, much of what   
had been on the plane had already been packed in anticipation of a hard   
impact. A surprisingly large amount of the supplies onboard had   
survived.  
  
Of course, not everything could be saved. The Americans onboard were   
all long dead. The pilot had been found in the smashed cockpit, with   
his neck broken and his ribcage crushed by a collapsed bulkhead. The   
support crew had been all over the cargo bay, their broken bodies lying   
limp. Shinji hoped they'd died before they'd felt it.  
  
Currently, the corpses were lying a few hundred meters off, covered by   
a cargo tarp that had been holding down some of the supplies. Shinji   
had wanted to give those people proper burials. But Asuka and Misato   
had pushed him into delaying that. Everyone felt some unease at the   
Americans' fates, but they didn't have time to go through the motions   
of a funeral, not when much-needed supplies were possibly burning away   
to nothingness.  
  
What _truly_ made his heart sink was that he saw how much the corpses   
could change with just the addition of the tarp. Exposed to the world,   
their eyes closed as if in a peaceful rest that freed them from the   
restraints and pains that life gave them, they were human, like any of   
those that were still living, and were people to mourn and cry over.   
But covered under the tarp, they ceased to be beings whose passing was   
to be remembered, and became only nameless, faceless, _things_, fit   
only to be studied, dismissed, and disposed of. In the devil's bargain   
of exchanging humans for mere bulges beneath a tarp, their humanity was   
forgotten, and Shinji found a part of his own starting to slip away.   
For when he stared at humans that had died, he could feel pity and   
remorse at the sight of untimely death. But when staring at those   
_objects_ the tarp made them, he felt...nothing.  
  
In fact, it made their deaths seem like contagious disease, for one   
does not have to die to feel dead. But he had a job to do, so he simply   
ignored the feeling like he ignored the hidden visages of the corpses.   
  
^Why am I so concerned about these people? Asuka would say they're just   
dead bodies...or are they?^  
  
But whatever the case, Shinji had much more pressing matters to worry   
about. Groups of volunteers were climbing through the wreckage,   
handing up anything they'd found. So far, there were no more than a   
few cuts and scrapes from minor accidents, but Shinji was sure all it   
would take was one slip-up and then there'd be one more corpse under a   
tarp.  
  
All of a sudden, a pair of arms went under his armpits and encircled   
his chest, crushing him up against the person behind him. Shinji let   
out a brief cry of shock, then went completely stiff. It was all he   
could do not to wet himself in surprise.  
  
The hold immediately loosened, and soon teasing laughter filled the   
air. Shinji whirled around to face his assailant.  
  
"Asuka!"  
  
The girl was nearly keeling over now, laughing. "Oh, _God_ that was   
fun! You are so tense, baka Shinji!" she said, bonking him lightly on   
the head with her fist.  
  
Shinji turned away, as his breathing resumed, trying to keep pace with   
the pounding of his heart. He swallowed.  
  
"Uh...hello," he said, once he'd collected himself.  
  
Asuka was still smiling. "Hello yourself. So how's it look, here?"   
she asked, turning to look at the wreckage.  
  
Shinji turned back towards the plane again. "Pretty good, actually,"   
he said. "We're finding a lot of things. Even things we wouldn't have   
guessed would survive."  
  
"That's good," Asuka said, crossing her arms. Her tone showed that   
she'd just asked that question out of politeness. "Hey, Shinji, guess   
who I just met?" she asked, looking at him through eyes that had been   
narrowed playfully.  
  
Shinji blinked, thinking it over before shaking his head. "I don't   
know."  
  
Asuka shook her head. "C'mon. It's that new girl, Ariel."  
  
"Oh, yeah," Shinji said, as it dawned on him. He'd forgotten about the   
new arrival, what with all the other concerns he had. But as he   
thought about it, it only made sense that Asuka would see her. It was   
actually surprising that it had taken so long.  
  
"So...how is she?"  
  
"She's nice," Asuka said, sitting down on the ground and leaning back.   
"Kind of uptight, though."  
  
Shinji sat down, next to her. "Well, I'm sure you can cure her of   
that."  
  
Asuka laughed again. Shinji managed to smile in response, this time.  
  
"It's weird, though..." Asuka said, a moment later. "I just feel like   
I know her, from somewhere."  
  
Shinji nodded, slowly. "Actually, I get the same feeling."  
  
They sat there, observing the work, for several more minutes. Luckily   
for them, no one was hurt during that time. Nothing passed to break up   
this moment, one of the few times they got to spend time together.   
After a while, Shinji put his arm around Asuka's shoulders. It was a   
simple gesture, of affection and closeness, but still one he'd been   
terrified of in the beginning. Now, he'd grown used to it, though it   
still surprised him, somewhat. And he could feel from the way Asuka   
stiffened momentarily at the contact that, whether or not she would   
admit it, she was still a little uncomfortable with being touched, too.  
  
His thoughts began to wonder, as the feeling of peace settled in. He   
was a little concerned about that white-haired girl. He _knew_ he'd   
seen her before, but he just couldn't place where. That, and her odd   
hair and eye color, made him think. Who was she, really?  
  
Thinking about Ariel's eyes somehow derailed his train of thought, as   
his mind drifted towards another pair of eyes that concerned him. Only   
these other eyes were not a rosy pink, like the color of the cherry   
blossoms that pre-Second-Impact Japan was famous for. Rather, they   
were a deep crimson, the color of the blood their owner hated.  
  
^Ayanami,^ he thought, his eyes glazing over. ^I don't know what's   
with her. She hasn't said a word to me lately. Not that that's   
anything new, but...I guess I _was_ too hard on her.^  
  
That, and he had yet to hear a decent explanation about what had   
happened to Rei's arm. One day, it had been in a cast, with a few more   
weeks before the bones had knit, and the next, it was unbound and fully   
healed. The closest thing he'd gotten to an explanation had come from   
Kaoru, who'd said that her arm had just gotten better after the last   
MPE assault, and that neither him nor Rei knew for certain why.  
  
But what really worried him was that he thought something might be   
wrong with Rei. The girl rarely looked him in the eye anymore, and in   
fact almost looked like she was avoiding him, sometimes. But when she   
_did_ meet his gaze, it sent a chill of uneasiness through him. As   
though he was no longer looking at a girl his age, but rather a   
deadly, feral monster whose ferocious power was only barely contained,   
and that her humanity was only a mask to hide behind. In fact, it was   
not unlike the times he had looked his Evangelion Unit-01 in its   
seemingly sightless, opaque white eyes, innocently sitting in its cage   
and apparently helpless to act of its own volition. But somewhere   
behind those eyes had been an intelligence. Not that of a mindless   
automaton, but a living, breathing entity with an agenda of its own,   
and which did not necessarily care for humanity's survival.  
  
But that sensation never lasted for more than a moment. It was just a   
flicker, a brief hiccup of emotion. And as soon as it was over, Shinji   
was always reassured that it was Ayanami standing in front of him.   
Ayanami, a girl trying to find a course for her life. Not some   
monster.  
  
"Actually," he said, finally, "That girl kind of reminds me of   
Ayanami."  
  
Asuka shook her head, her hair tickling his arm as she did so. "Don't   
even start," she said. "I don't know why, but this girl just doesn't   
seem to like Ayanami very much."   
  
Shinji shrugged. "Well, she hasn't seen Ayanami in action, I guess.   
People are starting to respect her, you know, after that last fight."  
  
"Yeah," Asuka said. She looked towards the plane. "But tell that to   
the pilot."  
  
Shinji cringed. He felt something tighten in his chest, at Asuka's   
words.  
  
"She couldn't help him," Shinji said, quietly. "It was too fast. No   
one could've seen it coming."  
  
"Yeah, but - "  
  
"And in any case, Unit-00 can't fly, which is what it would have had to   
do to save the plane. Ayanami's doing the best she can, Asuka. You   
know that as well as I do."  
  
^It doesn't mean I agree with her methods,^ Shinji mentally added on,   
^but I _do_ know Ayanami always gets the job done.^  
  
One corner of Asuka's mouth turned down, as she was cut off. She   
looked annoyed, but there was also just a trace of fear around her   
eyes.  
  
She shook it off. She slid out from under Shinji's arm, her face   
taking on a mischevious look as she looked down at his disappointed   
expression. She got to her feet and peered down at Shinji, holding her   
hands behind her back. "Hey, Shinji," she said, smiling suggestively,   
"Let's go do something."  
  
"Do what?" Shinji asked, drawing back unconsciously.  
  
"Anything. It's boring here," Asuka complained. "And I don't have all   
day to just sit around watching other people work. _Some_ of us have   
to work every day."  
  
Shinji felt that tightness in his chest get worse. He knew who she was   
alluding to. Rei and Kaoru seldom did manual labor around the camp,   
both because of their physical stature, and because they had   
responsibilities with the Eva. As far as he knew, today they were   
trying to figure out how quickly Unit-00 could regenerate from the   
damage incurred in that last battle.  
  
But he said nothing. He was convinced arguing with Asuka over how to   
treat Rei would be a wasted effort. He'd thought they would become   
friends, after Asuka started referring to Rei by her first name and   
all, but that seemed to have dried up, at some point. He didn't know   
what had happened, and Asuka clammed up whenever he tried asking her   
about it.  
  
"OK, c'mon," Shinji said, getting to his feet. ^I guess they _can_   
manage themselves,^ he thought. In the past, whenever someone had been   
injured working on salvaging, several other people were always on hand   
to help.  
  
Asuka fell into step beside him, as they walked away from the ruined   
aircraft. "Where're we headed?" she asked, curious.  
  
"Ritsuko-san's," Shinji replied. "I've got a few questions I've been   
meaning to ask her. And she might be able to answer them, now."  
  
***  
  
Ritsuko pulled on the white lab coat, feeling the smooth material take   
her arms into its cold embrace for the first time in a long while. The   
coat had been one of the many things they'd been able to salvage from   
the plane crash. It was a familiar feeling, wearing this thing. With   
it, she could watch giants fighting each other, could watch people   
being killed, and could in fact herself commit murder, and even herself   
be killed.  
  
She was still deciding whether or not she liked it.  
  
Ritsuko pushed back the whispering of her conscience as she thought   
this over. She knew they hadn't been able to salvage the crew of that   
plane. Ritsuko had been slightly shaken, when she'd seen that. But   
she hadn't let it show. She couldn't afford to.  
  
^Just too much to live down, so I just push away anything that makes me   
feel guilty,^ she thought. ^It only makes sense, but it makes me feel   
like a real bitch.^  
  
She was currently standing inside a large tent, another thing they'd   
pulled from the wreckage. She rearranged some equipment that waited   
patiently on a nearby table, in an effort to take her mind off of her   
thoughts.  
  
She wasn't alone. Maya bustled about in another corner of the tent. A   
tan leather glove covered her left hand, having just recently been   
pulled on. Yet another sign of outside aid. The thought of wearing   
gloves would have been out of the question, a few weeks ago. There   
just weren't any intact gloves to be found. But now...  
  
^We can change so quickly, with the appropriate stimuli,^ Ritsuko   
thought to herself. ^We're already beginning to revert to our old   
lifestyles.^  
  
"So when are they coming, Ritsu-chan?" Maya asked, looking up at her   
old teacher.  
  
"Sooner or later," Ritsuko answered, straightening out the lab coat   
again. It felt good on her, she had to admit. "Probably well before   
the end of the day."  
  
"OK," Maya said, turning away. "Say, sempai..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Have you seen that new girl?"  
  
"Ni-san? Yes, I have. I spoke with her briefly a few days ago."  
  
"OK. What do you think of her?"  
  
"She seems like a standard refugee," Ritsuko said, calmly. She leaned   
down to wipe at the lenses on a microscope. "Confused, but still   
determined."  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Maya said, nervously. "And I saw her talking with   
Asuka earlier today. It looked like they were getting along well."  
  
"Oh," Ritsuko said, acknowledging the statement sheerly out of   
politeness.  
  
"Ritsu-chan..." Maya said, slowly.  
  
^Here it comes,^ Ritsuko thought.  
  
"Don't you think she's a little...I don't know..._strange_?"  
  
Ritsuko looked up from her work, her eyes locking with Maya's from   
across the tent. "What do you mean by that?" she asked.  
  
"Well...she seems really nervous around people. And she avoids   
Ayanami-san and Kaoru-san like the plague."  
  
"Well, many people are afraid of those two. I don't see what the   
problem is, Maya."  
  
"Well, it's just...there's just something about her. I mean, who her   
age has white hair? Or pink eyes?"  
  
"People come back the way they want to," Ritsuko said. She reached   
back and pulled up a lock of her hair, displaying it to the younger   
woman. Her hair was blond, now. No more dyeing to change it to that   
color. She'd been shocked, at first, but then quietly accepted it. It   
helped remind her that not things weren't the same, anymore.  
  
Maya nodded, understanding. "I guess. Maybe she was just someone who   
grew up without a childhood. She _does_ look pretty mature, doesn't   
she?"  
  
Ritsuko slammed her hands down on the table, the loud 'bang' making   
Maya jump.  
  
"She volunteered to have me examine her, once we were set up here,   
Maya. From what I could see, she's a perfectly normal girl." Her eyes   
went flinty. "And the last thing we need now is paranoia."  
  
"S...sorry."  
  
Ritsuko's face softened. "I need you around, Maya," she said. "I   
can't afford to have you getting suspicious of anyone who _looks_   
strange."  
  
Maya managed a weak smile. "OK...Ritsu-chan."  
  
Ritsuko nodded, fighting down a smile of her own on hearing the   
nickname. She went back to getting set up.  
  
No more than half an hour later, Shinji and Asuka walked in through the   
tent flap. They looked around, traces of wide-eyed amazement present   
in their faces. Amazement that Ritsuko Akagi had so easily been able   
to go back to her old ways.  
  
^It's almost enough to make me belive in fate,^ Ritsuko thought,   
smiling a little. ^I get a new chance at life, and I go back to being   
a scientist.^  
  
"Sorry to be intruding, Akagi-san," Shinji said, bowing respectfully.  
  
"Oh, it's all right," Maya replied, walking up to the boy and tilting   
him up out of the bow. "We were expecting you, anyway."  
  
Asuka's brow furrowed. "How'd you reason that out?"  
  
"I just finished looking over everyone involved in that blast," Ritsuko   
answered, almost bored. "Though I don't have much here," she   
continued, gesturing at the simple medical tools lined up on a bench,   
"I was still able to get some data."  
  
"Oh," Asuka said, taking a seat in a conveniently-placed chair. "So   
what'd you find?"  
  
"Nothing," Ritsuko said, simply.  
  
"Nothing?" Shinji asked, incredulous.  
  
"No physical fluctuations," Maya cut in, reading from a notebook. "No   
abnormalities seen in any of the samples collected from the subjects."   
Lowering the book, she looked at them helplessly. "It's like nothing   
happened to them."  
  
"So what's that mean?" Asuka asked, blinking and stretching out in her   
chair.  
  
"I am not certain," Ritsuko said, putting one finger to her chin. "All   
I've got is a few theories." She walked over to the bench and made a   
few hasty notes in another book. "Assuming the Evas we've seen follow   
their initial specifications, then they were equipped with an S2   
engine," she said, as she wrote. "Rei and Nagisa confirmed that the   
cores of both attacking Evas were destroyed."  
  
Stepping away from the table, she pulled up a chair of her own. "So   
that means the Evas would have lost control of their S2 reactions,   
which then achieved critical mass."  
  
Shinji blinked. "What?"  
  
"Ka-boom," Maya said, smiling a little.  
  
"Oh...right. Sorry," Shinji said, lowering his head a little in   
embarassment.  
  
"Yes..." Ritsuko said, throwing Maya an annoyed glance for the   
unscientific explanation. "The energy released from an out-of-control   
S2 reaction is formidable. Mathematically, its output would go to   
infinity, but in practice, we only see a few megatons worth of energy.   
However, if that had been the case, then this whole area would have   
been vaporized."  
  
Shinji paled, as he thought that one over. Even Asuka couldn't keep   
herself from swallowing nervously.  
  
"So what happened, then?" the German girl asked.  
  
Ritsuko shook her head. "Something is drawing off that extra energy,"   
she said. "And in fact drawing off so much of it that all we see is   
light and a little heat. But I'm going to need more time, and better   
equipment, if I'm going to figure out what it is."  
  
"It's up to me then," Asuka said, smirking and crossing her arms. "I   
just have to see what _else_ I can drag out of that old plane. And our   
friends'll be dropping in more for us later on."  
  
No one responded to this. Ritsuko just looked at Asuka, seeing the   
tension on the girl's face.  
  
^You heard about the call,^ she thought at the girl. ^You know the   
Americans might just rethink what they're doing.^  
  
"There's a little more, which may concern you," Ritsuko continued.   
"And to be able to see this, even with these tools, is unsettling."  
  
"What is it?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Rei and Nagisa called me out two days ago," Ritsuko continued, as she   
slid out a rack of microscope slides. "I had to check the Eva, but I   
also examined the children themselves."  
  
Asuka quirked an eyebrow, leaning back in her chair and crossing her   
legs. Shinji, however, remained standing. Worry was quite evident on   
the boy's face. "So how did they turn out, then?" he asked, the   
concern showing clearly in his voice.  
  
"I looked over the Eva," Ritsuko explained, gesturing to Maya. The   
other woman was by her side in an instant, handing her the book she'd   
been reading from earlier. Ritsuko carefully turned the pages,   
glancing things over. She squinted a little at the writing, before   
continuing. "Its S2 engine is regenerating the damage at a nominal   
rate, from what I observed. Though I don't have any decent way to   
verify this, I predict it will be fully repaired in three weeks."  
  
"Give or take a few days," Maya added on, quietly, in the background.  
  
Shinji nodded, but said nothing. Asuka just turned up her nose,   
looking as though she'd rather be getting a root canal. But she didn't   
move. Even though no one was keeping her there, she didn't move from   
her seat.  
  
"As for Rei and Nagisa..." Ritsuko began, walking back over to the   
microscope, "they seem to be in fine health. However, I noted several   
anomalies."  
  
"Anamolies?" Shinji asked. "Like what?"  
  
"Their body temperatures were a few degrees lower than normal, for one.   
Though all I had to work with were simple thermometers, even they could   
show the children's bodies were colder than normal."  
  
Asuka shrugged and turned her head to the side. "So maybe Ayanami got   
sick," she said, nonchalantly.  
  
"Doubtful. Rei doesn't get sick. I can only assume the same is the   
case for Nagisa."  
  
Asuka blinked, turning to look back at Ritsuko with a confused face.   
How could someone just _not_ get sick every once in a while? It was   
impossible. True, you could cover it up if you put on a good act, but   
the truth remained that you were ill.  
  
"I also took samples of bodily fluids from both of them," Ritsuko   
continued. "Looking at it under this microscope was all I could do. I   
saw a few oddities, but they're nothing you'd be able to see unless you   
had intimate knowledge of cell structures."  
  
"But then we had a look at their blood," Maya chirped out. All eyes   
turned towards her. The young woman blushed a little and then nodded   
to Ritsuko.  
  
"...right," Ritsuko said, turning back to what she was doing. She   
lined up a slide underneath the microscope. "I'd like you two to have   
a look at these."  
  
Shinji and Asuka went up, taking turns at looking. "I don't see   
anything weird," Shinji said. It looked just like the pictures of   
blood he'd seen in his science book back at school.  
  
"Right," Ritsuko said, pulling the slide out. "That was a blood sample   
from Nagisa. There are a few subtle differences from human blood   
cells, but I didn't expect you to see them. What got my attention was   
this sample from Rei." At this, she shoved in another slide.  
  
Asuka went first. Moments after she'd put her eyes to the lenses,   
Shinji could see her brow furrow. She stepped away, looking concerned.   
"I don't understand," she said.  
  
Shinji, interested, had a look for himself. He immediately saw it: in   
among the wafers of the red blood cells were...chunks. Dark pieces of   
extra matter, coming in all shapes and sizes. None were as large as   
the blood cells, but most of them were still readily noticeable.  
  
Shinji stepped back. "Dust on the lens?" he asked.  
  
Ritsuko shook her head. "Not possible. I cleaned every piece of   
equipment before doing these tests."  
  
"So what does it mean?" Asuka asked.  
  
"I cannot identify those extra particles," Ritsuko explained. "They   
just appear to be spare matter, floating in solution with her blood."  
  
"And...?" Asuka asked.  
  
"What concerns me is that Rei seems unaffected. A normal human with   
that much extra material in the bloodstream would be suffering from a   
variety of ill effects. Capillaries and arteries could be clogged   
easily, resulting in a heart attack or stroke. But Rei doesn't even   
seem aware that she has this condition. It's as though these particles   
are now part of her physiology."  
  
"Part of her?" Shinji asked, worried. He immediately remembered her   
arm, and how it had healed so suddenly. "How? Why? I mean..."  
  
"I'm not sure," Ritsuko said, holding up a hand. "All Rei was able to   
tell me is that she was overcome by some sort of shockwave after the   
Eva was destroyed. She's also said she experienced some physical   
phenomena, but she couldn't replicate that while she was being tested."  
  
"What kind of...'phenomena'?" Shinji asked. "Are you talking about her   
arm?"  
  
Ritsuko looked at him, silently, for a long moment. "She asked that I   
not tell you," she said, finally. "And she asked me to assure you that   
it was nothing major. I'm inclined to agree, if it was a one-time only   
occurence. It may have even been a simple hallucination - "  
  
"What is wrong with Ayanami?" Shinji asked, firmly.  
  
Ritsuko looked him in the eye, before slowly shaking her head. "I   
can't tell you," she said.  
  
Shinji closed his eyes, resigning himself. He half-expected Asuka to   
start shouting, trying to verbally - if not physically - force Ritsuko   
to tell them what was going on. But Asuka said nothing. She held her   
tongue this time, the lack of focus in her eyes showing that she was   
thinking something over.  
  
Shinji nodded to Ritsuko. "So that's all, then?" he asked.  
  
"It's what I have for now. If we ever get more advanced equipment, I   
may be able to tell you more."  
  
Shinji looked at her for a few seconds, as though sizing her up. He   
finally nodded at Ritsuko, then at Maya, before he turned and walked   
out the doorway.   
  
^Rei, I hope you know what you're getting into,^ Ritsuko thought. ^The   
Ikaris have a knack for finding out things other people don't want them   
to know.^  
  
***  
  
Asuka caught up to Shinji a heartbeat after he'd left Ritsuko. She   
came alongside him, letting him know that she was there. But no words   
passed between them. Both were caught up in their own thoughts for the   
moment.  
  
^Something's up,^ she thought. ^And something is really wrong, if she   
doesn't want her _dear_ 'Ikari-kun' to know. Serves her right if she   
ends up crippled, or even dea - .^  
  
She instantly felt guilty for thinking this way. ^Oh, all   
right...maybe I can try and get the answer from the source. Shinji at   
least deserves to know.^ She smiled, a little. ^Beats having to   
listen to him mumble to himself about how it's unfair.^  
  
"Hey, she's all right," Asuka said awkwardly, taking his arm. "Bet it   
was nothing. She just didn't want to give you something else to worry   
about."  
  
^Geez, here I am _defending_ Wondergirl,^ she thought. ^I am just   
messed up today. Maybe I could talk it over with that Ariel girl.   
Doesn't look like she really enjoys Ayanami's company...something else   
we have in common.^  
  
Shinji, however, barely even heard her. He let Asuka take his hand and   
walk with him. He even squeezed her hand a little, to show he was   
still aware of his surroundings. But his face remained serious.  
  
Looking at him, Asuka's brow furrowed. The same traces of fear from   
earlier appeared around her eyes again. The boy next to her was slowly   
growing up. One day, he wouldn't be her 'baka Shinji' anymore.  
  
"Come on, snap out of it," Asuka said, waving her hand in front of his   
eyes.  
  
Shinji blinked, looking over at her. "Sorry," he said, averting his   
eyes in embarassment. "Just trying to digest all that."  
  
"Don't see why you should worry," Asuka said, turning up her nose   
again, and putting her free hand on her hip. "You don't even have all   
the facts."  
  
"I guess so," Shinji said. "But I should try talking to Rei..." he   
trailed off. Then he shook his head quickly. "I mean, _Ayanami_. She   
owes me an explanation."  
  
"Baka," Asuka said, hitting his arm. "She doesn't want anyone to know,   
so why do you think she'll tell you? Come on, let's go somewhere   
else."  
  
Shinji slowed down. Asuka released his arm, coming around to face him   
as his footsteps came to a halt. Shinji just stood there, not saying   
anything. Every few moments, it looked like he was going to start off   
in one direction, but then he'd change his mind and start another way,   
only to change his mind again.  
  
"Just drop it for a while," Asuka said. "Ayanami can be weird,   
sometimes."  
  
Shinji sighed in frustration. Asuka, seeing he was struggling to make   
a decision, figured it was time for her to make it for him. She took   
his hand.  
  
"Come on," she said, starting off towards their shelter. "We can take   
the rest of the day off, Shinji. Let's go home, for a while."  
  
But she didn't get very far. Shinji stopped, forcing Asuka to stop   
walking, as well. She turned back to look at him.  
  
Asuka took notice of Shinji's right hand, its fingers slowly clenching   
and releasing, as if he was testing the tightness of his grip.   
Something in the back of Asuka's mind told her that it was by no means   
weak, but that old memory faded like mist when she tried to grasp it.   
Perhaps he was testing his hold on the situation, but whatever it was,   
Asuka had a sneaking feeling, like a worm undermining her sense of   
safety, that something was about to change.  
  
Just then, his hand swiftly balled itself into a tight fist. It   
happened so fast that she hadn't seen the change, until his knuckles   
turned white under the pressure. Furthermore, his forearm began to   
vaguely tremble with the strain as if he was crushing the life out of   
something unseen in his hand, while his face went completely dead, the   
eyes sightless and unseeing, the features sapped of life and vitality.   
It appeared that he had made a decision, but she still couldn't shake   
the feeling that there was something very wrong. She swallowed, but   
still did not relinquish the hold on his free hand. All the while,   
however, she felt her pulse quickening, as she wondered if he still   
would have clenched a fist if she'd taken his right hand instead of his   
left.  
  
Slowly, he brought his fist up to his face, his eyes focusing so hard   
that it seemed as if he was reducing all of the world around him to   
encompass only his fist, the knuckles as white, the trembling as great   
as ever. Looking like someone who had become greater in the  
strength of their convictions, somehow he appeared larger and more   
determined than she had ever seen him. So much like his father...  
  
And then, the trembling stopped. His eyes regained focus, like those of   
a person newly roused from a sleep they might never have awakened from.   
At the same time, he seemed to notice just what he was doing with his   
hand, and gingerly opened it. He looked mildly surprised that his open   
palm, red and slightly swollen from the pressure it received, held   
nothing. Then, he spoke in a voice as haggard as his life was, but iron   
in the determination it carried, a single word:  
  
"No."  
  
"No what?" said Asuka, starting to become truly uneasy and wanting out   
of this situation.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said, quietly, not making eye contact. "But I just   
feel like it's my responsibility. I have to at least _try_ seeing   
what's wrong."  
  
Asuka's face went blank, at those words. One part of her was screaming   
at him to just go along with what she said, while the other part was   
saying he wouldn't be happy until he'd satisfied his conscience. And   
she just couldn't get that image out of her head, of Shinji's face as   
he'd studied his fist, as though asking it for an answer. As such, she   
didn't do anything when he pulled free of her grip, her hands still   
frozen in position at the suddenness of his rejection and subsequent   
separation.  
  
"I'll just go talk with her and Kaoru-kun for a few minutes," he said,   
backing away. He held up his hands defensively, as though expecting a   
blow. "I'll come back soon, I promise."  
  
Something finally snapped in Asuka, breaking her out of the stupor   
she'd fallen into. She blinked and stepped forwards, pressing up   
against him and feeling him blush from the contact.  
  
"So you go to them instead of me?" she asked, sounding innocently.   
"Hmm...I didn't know my Shinji-chan liked threesomes. Maybe I should   
join in, someday."  
  
Shinji could have rivaled a tomato for the color he turned, as his mind   
processed Asuka's words before he could stop it. "No, no! It's   
not...I mean, I just said I was going to talk, and that's all, and..."   
he said, trailing off as he noticed he was rambling.  
  
"You better hurry up, baka Shinji," she said into his ear, feeling the   
nervous warming of his body. "I'd hate to have to start without you."  
  
She stepped back, her face having taken on the look of a predator   
eyeing the catch of the day. Shinji's blush deepened. He looked like   
he wouldn't mind being the prey.  
  
"OK, OK," he said, backing off again. "I'll see you then."  
  
Asuka grabbed his arm as he tried to turn to go. She hesitated a   
moment, looking into his confused eyes.   
  
Finally, she leaned forwards, brushing her lips against his.   
  
"Just in case you three take too long talking," Asuka said, quietly.   
"Now get out of here," she added on, more loudly. She turned him   
around and gave him a shove in the general direction, watching him   
stumble off. Shinji turned around, smiling back at her and promising   
that he'd be back soon. Then he walked off, heading for the Eva.  
  
Her expression changed, as soon as he was out of sight. No longer was   
she the confident master of Shinji Ikari. Rather, she looked worried.   
Not to mention jealous.  
  
^Was his heart in that?^ she wondered to herself, as she headed off   
towards her shelter. She ran her fingers over her lips, in memory of   
the recent kiss. ^Caught him off guard, I know, but I just can't tell.   
What's going on inside that baka's head, anyway?^  
  
***  
  
The sun was already sinking below the horizon by the time Ariel had   
made it to the second site.   
  
Speaking with Asuka had apparently broken some kind of invisible   
barrier. Seeing their leader speaking so easily with the new arrival   
had convinced the other refugees that the new girl was, in spite of her   
aloof attitude, quite approachable.  
  
Ariel had been caught up in conversation after conversation. People   
wanting to know where she came from, why she'd come here, how she'd   
come to know Asuka, and all other manner of questions had barraged her.   
That had ruined her plans for the day; now she was just hoping she   
could get to the next, and last, battle site, before the sun set.  
  
What confused her was that most of the people who had approached her   
were male. She knew Asuka had made some comment about how she looked   
and how she dressed, but she hadn't thought that would be significant.   
Apparently, it was.  
  
^Perhaps my belief that I am an ideal being led me to return in   
an...admirable human form,^ she thought. ^Unfortunately, it has   
brought too much attention to me. Perhaps humility and humbleness   
_are_ virtues, as so many of the lilum seem to think.^  
  
On that point, Kensuke had helped her out. The boy had appeared from   
around a shelter, just as Ariel had finished pushing off another person   
who wanted to talk. Ariel had thought he was like all the others,   
trying to get to know her. But instead, he'd asked her where she was   
going. He'd been able to notice she was trying to get somewhere.  
  
Ariel had been thankful for the help. Kensuke had led her out of town,   
walking next to her. He'd still tried talking with her, but he'd let   
her move, at least. Everyone else had usually stepped in front of her,   
causing her to almost crash into them.  
  
Kensuke had left without a fuss, once they were some distance from the   
town. He'd bowed respectfully and said he'd see her later.   
  
Ariel sighed, thinking about yet _another_ obligation she needed to   
fulfill. First she had to see Asuka again, then this boy, and   
then...who knew?  
  
She finally made it to the blast crater. Stumbling down into it, she   
unshouldered her pack and removed the second stone, with the name   
'Bardiel' painted onto it. She followed the same procedure as she had   
that morning: placing the stone, followed by a moment of silence. Then   
she slung the now-empty pack onto her back again and climbed out.  
  
Someone was waiting for her at the top. As Ariel threw her arms over   
the lip of the crater and started pulling herself up, she happened to   
look up, getting a view of Rei Ayanami. The setting sun covered the   
girl's face and form in shadows, making her seem like an impenetrable   
cloud of darkness, stealing the last few rays of the day's light. Rei   
stood there, watching her calmly but also intently, with those blood-  
red eyes.  
  
Ariel scowled and pulled herself up onto the surface. She got to her   
feet and immediately started walking away, before she could even catch   
her breath.  
  
Rei started following her. She trailed several meters behind Ariel,   
but easily matched the girl's pace, even when she sped up to nearly a   
run. And through it all, she never said a word. She didn't make any   
noise, save for the sound of her footsteps on the ground.  
  
Finally, Ariel gave up and whirled around, eyes blazing.  
  
"_What?_" she asked, in a fury.  
  
Something indiscernible flickered through Rei's eyes before she   
answered. "What were you doing?" she asked, her voice low and soft,   
just as it always was.  
  
Ariel turned away. "It is none of your concern, Zero," she said,   
walking off.  
  
Rei quickly caught up to the other girl. "Your actions are my concern.   
And my name is Rei."  
  
Ariel shot Rei a look that could have melted steel. "I prefer _Zero_,"  
she said. "Blank. Neutral. _Nothing._ Very good descriptions of   
you, correct?"  
  
"'Rei' has the same meaning, Ariel-san. It is in your own best   
interests to call me that. What were you doing?"  
  
Ariel snorted. She knew Japanese quite well. 'Rei' also meant   
'spirit'. This..._abomination_ next to her was not a spirit. _It_ was   
a demon. A mangled, fouled copy of Mother, a soul-eating monster, that   
killed her very brothers. This girl had absolutely _nothing_ to do   
with a spirit.  
  
And for that very reason, she knew that she had better answer the   
question.  
  
"I was just making my peace with them," Ariel said, finally. "I didn't   
agree with their plans, but they at least deserve to be remembered."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Ariel grit her teeth. She did _not_ want to be having this   
conversation. "Because I knew them, and now they're dead."  
  
^Not just dead,^ she mentally added on. ^They've utterly ceased to   
exist in every way; their physical bodies vaporized, their minds and   
psyches destroyed so completely that in the end, there was not even a   
soul to return to whence it came.^  
  
"It's only right, Zero," she continued. "Can't you understand that   
much?"  
  
Rei just blinked, looking at Ariel. "If they are dead, then they are   
no longer a concern."  
  
Ariel's eyes narrowed. Her breathing deepened, as she seethed in   
repressed anger. "You don't even deserve to know, Zero. Now leave me   
alone."  
  
She turned and walked off, at a rapid pace. This time, Rei did not   
pursue. Instead, she looked back at the crater.  
  
^Respect for the dead...^ she thought. She was familiar with the   
concept, yet she was still unable to understand it. It was just a   
meaningless expenditure of resources and energy.  
  
One corner of her mouth quirked as she remembered where that policy had   
come from: the Commander. Gendo Ikari had never believed in respecting   
the dead. If they were dead, then they were unreachable, and were no   
concern of the living. Right after saying that, he'd mumbled something   
to himself, something Rei had only barely heard: 'but if there is _any_   
chance of getting them back, you cannot afford to abandon them so   
easily.'  
  
Rei started walking towards her shelter, thinking the matter over. She   
knew that Shinji and the others had been deeply disturbed by the deaths   
resulting from the last battle. They'd done whatever they could to   
give those people 'proper' send-offs. Rei had not attended any.  
  
^Another practice I should consider changing,^ she thought. ^I cannot   
live by the Commander's way, any longer. I have some...vague   
recollection, of discovering that he was _not_ always right. That, in   
fact, there were alternatives to following his every command.^  
  
She was still very confused by the concept. But perhaps there was some   
merit in it. If an Angel, a being of pure destruction, believed in   
honoring fallen comrades, then maybe...  
  
Her thoughts ran in this vein as she made it back to the huge shelter.   
She sat down in the shade underneath the large stone roof. It was very   
cool underneath, especially now that the sun was beginning to sink   
below the horizon.  
  
Rei turned her gaze to the side, where she could see the Eva sitting   
there, simultaneously monster and savior, dormant and waiting until it   
was called on again.  
  
^That is nothing more than a doll,^ she thought. ^It follows our   
commands, and nothing more. True, it has a mind and a soul, but it has   
no desires of its own, except perhaps for death.^  
  
Her thoughts stopped as she remembered an...experience she'd had some   
time ago. The Dummy had contacted her. It had said that it   
was...growing to enjoy killing. How it liked the feel of ending a life   
with the Eva's hands.  
  
Rei shook her head. ^Yet that was also a projection of a part of my   
own mind,^ she reasoned. ^Perhaps it was only partly the Dummy. I was   
not aware that the Dummy plug could learn to feel emotions such as   
enjoyment.^  
  
^Or is that any better? It means that the bloodlust actually   
originates from me - ^  
  
"Rei..." came a familiar voice.  
  
Rei blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. "Yes, Nagisa-san?" she   
asked, as her eyes focused on Kaoru's face, not more than a meter off   
to her side. She felt slightly unsettled that the boy had come so   
close without her knowing, but she shook off the feeling quickly,   
burying it into the depths of her consciousness.  
  
"I have heard that Shinji-kun is looking for you," he said. "I thought   
it would be best if you knew in advance. Do you want to see him?"  
  
Rei thought it over, her gaze trailing down to her freshly-healed right   
arm.  
  
^I still do not even know what I am,^ she thought, looking at the limb.   
^And Ikari-kun confuses my emotions so...effectively.^  
  
"No...now is not the right time," she said, looking away. "Where is   
he, now?"  
  
One corner of Kaoru's mouth twitched. "You cannot run from him   
forever," he said. "Come what may, I think he would not stop until he   
found you. He is somewhat like his father in his pursuit for..." he   
said, trailing off.  
  
"For his objective," Rei finished, glanced at him again. "For his   
objective of finding what he wants. Yet I...need time to think. That   
is all."  
  
Kaoru paused, looking at her. Finally, he seemed to make a decision.   
"All right, Rei. Go wait by the Eva. I know Shinji-kun has already   
looked there. He will probably not come back that way."  
  
Rei said nothing in response, as she walked off. Behind her, Kaoru   
turned and walked back to the shelter.  
  
^I am aware that it is running,^ she thought. ^Again, something I have   
never felt the urge to do. Or is it? I remember desiring nothing but   
death, long ago...is that running away? Choosing to leave the world   
rather than try and find meaning in it?^  
  
"Ayanami," came a new voice.  
  
Rei turned around quickly, surprised. She quickly found herself face-  
to-face with Shinji Ikari.  
  
^I do not understand.^ she thought, confused. ^Kaoru-san said that   
Ikari-kun would not come here...^  
  
Shinji's gaze immediately went down to Rei's arm. He had a tendency to   
do that, recently. But it only lasted a moment. He was soon looking   
back up, into the crimson of her eyes, unconsciously seeking out the   
contact he had run from barely two years ago.  
  
"I need to talk to you, Ayanami," he said.  
  
Rei felt a surge of emotion within her. Fear, nervousness, and,   
somehow, a thread of...security? Yes...a slight comfort, allaying the   
fears and anxieties, and scratching at the walls that the black MP Eva   
had thrown up. In any case, she could only barely understand it.  
  
^If I leave now, Ikari-kun will know for certain that I am avoiding   
him,^ she thought. ^I suppose there is no avoiding this.^  
  
"Yes, Ikari-kun?" she asked, politely.  
  
***  
  
Leaning against the wall of the shelter, Kaoru crossed his arms behind   
his head and quietly watched Shinji locate Rei by the Eva's foot. His   
lips curved into a smile as the two started talking.  
  
"You can't run forever, Rei," he thought. "Forgive me for giving you a   
little push in the right direction."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: June 17, 2001  
Version 1 Completed: June 28, 2001  
Version 2 Completed: July 17, 2001  
Version 3 Completed: August 16, 2001  
  
Thank you, prereaders: The Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and   
Judging Eagle. Your comments are always useful and welcome.  



	12. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Foreword: Yes, it's true; I'm still writing this thing, even after that   
mess at the World Trade Center. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't shaken   
up...in fact, that's one reason this chapter's a little later than I'd   
planned. But I still intend to finish out this story. I'm also going   
to be updating my web site, as soon as I get a free moment.  
  
In case anyone's wondering: since, according to the Eva timeline, 2nd   
Impact hit in the year 2000, the recent terrorist attacks never would   
have happened in the Eva universe. So the Americans will still be the   
egotistical, self-centered, trigger-happy jerks we all know and love.   
^_^. By some odd twist of fate, they make their grand re-entrance in   
this chapter. Enjoy.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 9: Deepening Waters  
  
It was with tired feet that Shinji Ikari trudged up towards the hulking   
form of Evangelion Unit-00.  
  
He'd been searching all over the camp, trying to find some clue as to   
the whereabouts of the elusive Rei Ayanami. He had a feeling she'd be   
out here, but he'd wanted to check the closer places, first. Coming   
out here could be a bit of a walk, if you were tired. And he was.   
Much like every day after Third Impact, he'd been on his feet all day.   
His legs felt numb, and his feet were sore.  
  
Even worse had been turning down the enticing offer to stay home.   
Asuka had seemed particularly predatory today. That could mean some   
interesting "catching up" time with her, but only if he got back soon.   
He'd known that look in her eyes; the offer was only good for so long.  
  
But he still kept walking towards the Eva. He knew why; as much fun as   
it would be to let Asuka have her way with him, he wouldn't really be   
able to enjoy it. Something would be weighing on his conscience:   
concern over a certain blue-haired girl.  
  
^What is it you don't want me to know, Ayanami?^ he thought, and not   
for the first time. Since that first time, long ago, when he'd first   
met her, it had always seemed as though Rei was involved in something,   
something she couldn't talk about. Some secret so enormous that it was   
dominating her entire life. He'd never had the courage to ask her   
about it. He - not to mention the rest of the world - had had to learn   
the hard way, years later, just what had been planned for Rei.   
  
Now he could only hope that, just for once in his life, he'd be able to   
make himself press an answer out of her.  
  
As he came up to the blue colossus, he saw her: standing with her back   
to him, looking off into the distance. She was just now stopping;   
Shinji could see her take her last step as she came into view.  
  
He slowed down, as he saw her. Even when she wasn't looking at him,   
Shinji got a feeling of unease around Rei Ayanami. Just looking at her   
like this, he still felt a brief chill. It was a veritable Pandora's   
box: something entirely unassuming on the surface, but was underneath   
was something dark, something that should be kept locked away for the   
good of the rest of the world. But though he knew it was dangerous, he   
just couldn't stop thinking about what lay there. No matter how many   
warnings he received, he still wanted to see what the truth was about   
the enigma otherwise known as Rei Ayanami.   
  
As a slight breeze caressed her hair, Rei made no move; it was as   
though nature itself was only background noise to her. Even after   
Third Impact, the girl had an aloof feel around her. There was   
something about her that could not be touched, even by the apocalypse   
itself. Shinji felt a brief pang of regret, as he remembered a brief   
sensation, of coming so close to that mystery inside of her.   
And...rejecting it.   
  
"Ayanami," he said, the word coming out of his mouth almost on its own.  
  
The girl turned around, her skirt flaring briefly. Her face was still   
the blank mask it usually was, but her quickness in turning showed that   
she hadn't expected this.  
  
Unconsicously, he looked away, his eyes flickering down to her visibly   
healed right arm. That appendage was definitely the question at the   
forefront of his mind, at the moment. But he couldn't allow himself to   
linger on it. He looked back to her face.  
  
"I need to talk to you, Ayanami," Shinji said, after he'd gathered up   
the courage to speak again.  
  
"Yes, Ikari-kun?" she asked, after a short pause.  
  
Shinji hesitated; now that Rei's crimson eyes were on him, the effect   
of looking at her was increasing exponentially. To him, it was as   
though he had taken the heart of winter into himself, feeling the   
deathly cold overtake his own heart until he was not sure that he was   
still alive. He had to fight the urge to shiver.  
  
"Ayanami I...I just spoke with Ritsuko-san."  
  
Rei blinked, but otherwise gave no response.  
  
"She said everything was OK, with everyone who'd been involved," Shinji   
continued. Inwardly, he was thoroughly berating himself to get on with   
it. ^Just _ask_ her,^ he thought.  
  
Rei nodded. She reached behind her back with one arm and grabbed her   
other arm, still hanging by her side. She was also periodically   
shifting her balance, as though unsure which foot to put the most   
weight on. Or else it seemed the foundation she stood upon was no   
longer stable.  
  
^Strange...it's almost like she's nervous,^ Shinji thought. He nearly   
smiled. ^Yeah. Ayanami, nervous? I don't think so.^  
  
This thought was enough to snap his mind back into focus.   
"Ayanami...Ritsuko-san said she'd also examined you. She showed me a   
few things, and...well, we all think something might _not_ be OK with   
you. And Kaoru-kun," he quickly added on, as an afterthought.  
  
Rei stared at him, her gaze slipping into the pools of his eyes and   
seeming to touch his mind directly, brushing against his very being   
with a caress more subtle than a summertime breeze. But instead of   
warming him as a touch would have, Shinji felt his own anxiety increase   
by a thread, as if the tiniest grain of ice had wormed its way into his   
very core and was threatening to grow until it consumed him.  
  
Finally, though, she averted her eyes, looking down and to the side.   
"What did she show you?" she asked, quietly.  
  
Shinji mentally recalled the explanations Ritsuko had given, about how   
most of it was just theory and speculation. That, and samples of   
bodily fluids, ending with a blood analysis. But in that blood...  
  
"Enough to make us worried," Shinji said, in what was effectively a   
good summary. He paused after this, waiting for the girl to respond.   
  
Rei made no immediate response, however. One of her feet began to move   
backwards, as though of its own accord. But she snapped it back   
alongside her other foot before she could complete the step.  
  
"You do not need to worry about me, Ikari-kun," she said, uncrossing   
her arms and lowering herself to a sitting position. She closed her   
eyes for a moment, taking a few slow breaths as she visibly regained   
whatever modicum of composure she'd lost a moment ago.  
  
Shinji sank down as well, though not nearly as gracefully as Rei had   
been able to. He was quite grateful Rei had chosen to sit down; he   
didn't know how much longer he'd have been able to stand. And it   
hadn't just been simple muscle fatigue; fear had been writhing around   
in him, making his heart beat faster as it surged adrenaline through   
his veins and filled his instincts with the raw, fear-borne desire to   
run, to be anywhere but here, no matter how strained his muscles were.   
It had been like trying to run in opposite directions; the only thing   
keeping him from shooting off was the fact that the two forces canceled   
each other out.  
  
But now that he was sitting down, it made things easier. Shinji just   
let his legs go limp; he didn't even try to arrange himself into a more   
dignified position.  
  
^Don't need to impress Ayanami,^ he thought, offhandedly.  
  
For some reason, this thought sank into his consciousness, refusing to   
just be brushed aside like any other casual observation. As the pale   
girl in front of him opened her eyes and again fixed her demure gaze on   
him, he couldn't help but think that this person did not need to be   
impressed. It was entirely possible that she _couldn't_ be impressed,   
that she was completely unaffected by anything he or someone else did.   
And she didn't care. Even the way she looked at him now - a calm gaze   
that struck him, making him remember how she'd looked just before he'd   
seen her smile at him for the first time - he felt that Ayanami was   
someone he'd never have to prove himself to. No matter what he did or   
said, no matter if it was wrong or right to his or anyone else's mind,   
she would always look at him in the same way, with a face that neither   
asked of nor judged him. Unlike pretty much everyone else here,   
including a certain red-haired girl waiting for him back at the camp...  
  
"Ayanami, it's my job to worry about people living here," Shinji said   
slowly, as his mind began to switch back to matters at hand. "You've   
been quiet...well, even more quiet than usual." He clenched and   
unclenched his fist nervously, as he felt a sweat break out on his   
forehead. "And I was just wondering what's going on."  
  
Rei leaned back, putting her weight on the Eva's foot. One hand   
reached out and touched the cool metal, while the other encircled her   
knees and pulled them up to her chest. It seemed her usual habit from  
a lifetime ago, something which, even now, was still distinctly hers.   
  
"What did you tell Ritsuko-san not to tell me?" Shinji asked, finally   
getting around to it. "Is there something wrong?"  
  
"Nothing is wrong, Ikari-kun," Rei replied, cooly.  
  
She made no effort to meet his gaze, and in fact seemed like she was   
trying to avoid eye contact with him. That in itself was not strange,   
but he vaguely remembered Ayanami staring ahead in almost every time he   
had seen her in that forgotten past, seeing but not noticing, unless   
there was something for her worth taking note of, like when she spoke   
with his father. Now...the fact she was _trying_ to look away made him   
feel uneasy, for if he was not fit to be looked at - if not noticed -   
by even Ayanami, then who would notice him?  
  
^But why ask Ritsuko-san not to tell me something?^ Shinji thought,   
trying to keep his mind on the conversation at hand.  
  
"I'd like to believe that, but..." Shinji tried to begin. But he   
stopped soon after, as his train of thought abruptly ran out of words   
to express itself with. ^But...what?^  
  
"But..." he continued. "I can't. Ayanami, what is it you're trying   
not to tell me?"  
  
^Did I just ask that? Or did I just imagine myself asking?^  
  
Rei turned her head, meeting his eyes. She blinked once, then again,   
more slowly. Her eyes narrowed slightly, as she seemed to consider   
something. And all the time, Shinji found his gaze held by those   
crimson irises. Something in them was holding onto him, not letting   
him look away, even though he knew it was probably rude to stare.   
  
Rei seemed equally held by his gaze, but only after a few moments.   
Eventually, her eyes widened slightly, and she looked away again.   
Shinji thought he could see a little redness in her pale cheeks.  
  
"Nothing is definite," Rei said, finally. "I have no other experience   
to work from."  
  
"So...you're just guessing, then?"  
  
Rei nodded, saying nothing.  
  
"Well...could you at least tell me what happened to your arm?" Shinji   
asked, a faint note of determination present in his voice. He could at   
least get _that_ out of her, having walked all the way out here.  
  
Rei still said nothing, though she unconsciously flexed her right arm,   
as though assuring herself that it was, in fact, healed. Shinji   
waited, letting the quiet girl sort out her thoughts. He felt a faint   
urge to try forcing her to answer, but he repressed it. He knew about   
Rei and her penchant for following orders, but somehow, he felt that if   
he commanded her to explain herself, she would clam up even more than   
before, if that were possible.  
  
"I can only assume that my healing process was accelerated," Rei said,   
after several minutes of tense silence.  
  
^So I noticed,^ Shinji thought, bitterly. He shook his head. "Yes,   
Ayanami. But...do you know _how_?"  
  
Again, Rei fell silent. Shinji let out a low breath, the urge to try   
shaking an answer out of her growing with every passing moment. The   
pale girl, perhaps noticing his anxiety, finally spoke up.  
  
"An influx of energy," Rei said, finally. "Some external force which I   
did not anticipate."  
  
Shinji looked at her for a long moment. Idly, his mind trailed back to   
the recent discussion with Ritsuko.  
  
^Something is drawing off that extra energy,^ he rembered her saying,   
in reference to the lack of destructive force from the S2 engine   
explosions.   
  
^An influx of energy?^ Shinji thought. "No...no way..."  
  
Rei looked over at Shinji as he voiced his thought. Her expression was   
one of slight confusion.  
  
"Ayanami...did Akagi-san tell you about the S2 engine explosions?"   
Shinji asked, carefully.  
  
Rei blinked once, then nodded.  
  
"Do you think that might be where the energy came from?" Shinji asked,   
forcing himself to meet her eyes.  
  
Another blink on Rei's part. Her chest rose and then slowly fell, in a   
silent sigh of deep thought. Finally, she broke eye contact, turning   
away from him as she shook her head.  
  
"I am uncertain," she answered. "Perhaps it was filtered through the   
Eva. The only way to check..." Rei stopped, her voice trailing off as   
she came to an inward conclusion. Her mouth tightened slightly,   
sealing off any more words she may have had to say.  
  
"Would be if you got into another fight," Shinji commented. The events   
following Third Impact had had more of an effect on him than he'd   
realized; two years ago, he never would have thought of finishing   
someone's sentence for them.   
  
Rei nodded, a simple tilt of her head that could have just been   
Shinji's imagination.  
  
"I don't like it," Shinji said, more to himself than anyone else. "No,   
I don't like it at all..."  
  
Rei stood, using the Eva's foot as a brace to lift herself up. "Is   
that all, Ikari-kun?"  
  
Shinji looked up at her, now feeling obligated to stand, himself.   
"Ayanami, I can understand if you don't want to say. I mean, I know   
what it's like to not be accepted."  
  
Rei turned her head slightly, her gaze again meeting his. But this   
time it was not one of questioning, or apathy. Even as he watched,   
Rei's eyes narrowed slightly. As if to say, 'you do _not_ know. Not   
as well as I do.' Shinji swallowed, realizing the truth of the   
unspoken statement. He unconsciously took a step back. He'd only seen   
Rei angry once before, when he'd said he could not trust his father.   
That had been unsettling, especially with the slap that had followed.   
But this look...it was something else entirely. There was no promise   
of injury. Simply a deep, unspoken resent, only briefly flashing up to   
the surface before submerging again, falling to some unknown depth.  
  
"But...is there something else?" he asked, the words coming out of his   
mouth apparently of their own accord.  
  
"No," came the blunt reply. It may have been Shinji's imagination, but   
he thought he heard a faint trace of anger in her voice. But there was   
something else...nervousness? Fear, even?  
  
Shinji let out a slow breath, then got up to his feet. "You sound a   
little unsure of yourself," he said, as he stood up straight.  
  
"I am fine, Ikari-kun," Rei said. "Now I must speak with Kaoru-san."   
She turned and started walking back towards her shelter.  
  
Shinji moved before he could stop himself.  
  
Rei halted almost as soon as she had started, feeling that something   
was holding her back. Her head quickly turning in surprise, she saw her   
hand clutched in Shinji's, the boy himself tensing as if preparing to   
hang on should she try to go.  
  
Shinji winced, slightly, as he saw Rei's eyes widen again. He knew he   
shouldn't have done this. Rei had an air around her that made her as   
untouchable as anyone could be. He felt as though he'd broken some   
important rule by touching her like this. It had often seemed in the   
past that Rei did either what she was told, or what she thought best,   
and never let anything stop her. And now here he was, trying to keep   
her from doing what she wished.  
  
Not only that, but he could feel her soft, limp hand underneath the   
calluses of his own. It was like marring something otherwise perfect,   
like kicking up the bottom of a riverbed and sullying the clear water.   
He felt dirty.  
  
"Ikari..." Rei said, her voice soft and more than a little inquisitive,   
not to mention surprised.  
  
"You're worrying me, Rei," Shinji said. He stopped, thinking that over   
again. "Uh..._Ayanami_. Sorry. But...I can't help thinking   
something's wrong, and - "  
  
"Rei is fine."  
  
Shinji blinked, then momentarily forgot to breathe as the meaning of   
those words hit him. "What?"  
  
"You may call me Rei, Ikari-kun." Rei said, turning around to face him.   
"If it makes you more comfortable."  
  
Shinji blinked again. 'If it makes you more comfortable', was a   
sentence he'd have _never_ expected to come out of Rei Ayanami.   
_Nothing_, physical or otherwise, had ever had an effect on her.   
Ayanami was supposed to be the one constant in this crazy world, the   
one thing that couldn't be changed. But...  
  
^I keep forgetting she's still a girl,^ he thought. He noticed that   
she was now staring at him intently, patiently waiting to see what he   
would do next.  
  
He looked down, embarassed, only to see that Rei's hand was still in   
his. Why hadn't she said anything earlier? He released her hand   
immediately, pulling his arms behind his back as though ashamed that   
she should see them.  
  
"Uh...right," Shinji said, looking back up. "But you _do_ have me   
worried. I can't help thinking something's wrong with you, and you're   
not telling me, for some reason or another."  
  
Rei met his eyes. "If something were wrong, I would tell you, Ikari-  
kun," she said, evenly. "You are my commander, so it is my   
responsibility to do so, correct?"  
  
Shinji shook his head. "I don't want to be like that," he said,   
turning away. "Ay...Rei, don't treat me like my father. I'm no   
commander, trust me."  
  
"I disagree, Ikari."  
  
Shinji turned back around, his brow furrowing. "What did you say?"  
  
"You are not like Commander Ikari, that is correct. But you are still   
a commander."  
  
Shinji shook his head. "I don't understand."  
  
Rei took several hesitant steps, coming up to him. "You are still a   
leader," she said, tilting her head slightly to compensate for their   
height difference. Years ago, they'd been nearly the same height, but   
with the passage of time, that was no longer true. Shinji now had to   
look down to meet those red eyes.  
  
"People do as you ask," Rei continued. "They respect you...and Soryu.   
If they did not, you would not be a leader."  
  
Shinji backed off, as he realized he could feel Rei's body warmth. He   
held up his hands, as though trying to push her away. "Look, it wasn't   
really a choice. I'm not my father, Ayanami," he said, his voice   
betraying some slight anger. "I was here first, so I had to do it," he   
finished, quietly, looking away.  
  
"You never _had_ to do it," Rei said, only using the slightest emphasis   
on the word 'had'. "You could have simply deferred to Soryu. Yet I do   
not need to say this...do I?"  
  
Now it was Shinji's turn to avert his eyes. ^She's right, isn't she?   
I never had to do this...but I did it, anyway.^ A flash of memory came   
to his mind, the face of Gendo Ikari. ^God...did I become my father?   
Because I 'had' to? No...no, that can't have been what happened.^  
  
"And even with more experienced personnel currently available, you   
remain in your current position. Is that what you wish to do?" Rei   
asked, taking another step towards him.  
  
Shinji backed off another step. "Look, it's just the way things turned   
out. I'm no leader."  
  
"I believe you are," Rei said, keeping her eyes trained on his. "You   
must admit it to yourself, however."  
  
Shinji again looked away. After a long moment, he let out a sigh.   
"Well...Rei, thank you for at least talking to me. Please don't avoid   
me if...if something's wrong." He turned around again, heading back   
for the camp. ^Damn, now it's late. Asuka's going to skin me alive.^  
  
Rei nodded. "I will remember that, Ikari-kun. Thank you."  
  
Shinji stopped abruptly. He half-turned his head, looking back at the   
blue-haired girl. "Did you just..." he said, trailing off.  
  
Rei cocked her head, looking at him questioningly.  
  
Shinji shook his head. "Forget it," he said. "And it's no problem. I   
don't like feeling that you're avoiding me." At that, he started   
walking off again.  
  
Rei nodded, even though Shinji wouldn't be able to see. Then she   
turned and walked off in the other direction, towards her shelter.  
  
Shinji, in the meantime, was turning over that last sentence of Rei's.   
^She _has_ to have said 'thank you' at some point in the past, I'm   
sure...but when?^  
  
***  
  
Asuka was not normally someone who paced. She hated the pointless   
movement; walking without getting anywhere. But she was about ready to   
_start_ pacing, now.  
  
She'd dragged Hikari with her back to the shelter, and they'd talked, a   
little like they had in old times. It had been fun. Her friend was -   
quite understandably - even crazier about Touji than she'd been before.   
She was a little better at hiding it, save for her stomach, which was   
now rounder than ever, but Asuka had still been able to tell. A few   
minutes ago, Hikari had left, to go and find the aforementioned boy.   
Touji was due back in his shelter pretty soon, and she hadn't wanted to   
miss him.  
  
Asuka was currently sitting on the floor of her shelter, having not yet   
found the energy to stand. Much as she didn't want to admit it, it   
_had_ been a tough day. As usual.  
  
^For everyone except _those_ two,^ she thought. ^Nagisa and   
Wondergirl. They get to just sit around the Eva all day and make sure   
it doesn't go berserk or anything.^  
  
That, and save the whole camp on occasion. But Asuka wouldn't let   
herself remember that part of the red-eyed childrens' job. Right now,   
they were just nuisances, two people who were useless in physical   
labor, and spent all day doing pointless things with a relic from a   
half-forgotten life.  
  
^And they have baka Shinji caught up in it,^ she thought, shifting   
around where she sat. ^No, _she_ has baka Shinji caught up in it. I'm   
sure Nagisa's just watching and snickering.^  
  
She lay down on the ground, then sat up, then made as though to get to   
her feet, then decided against it. No position could be comfortable in   
the face of restless anxiety. Somewhere in the back of her mind she   
knew that if she'd checked a timepiece, it couldn't have been much more   
than an hour since Shinji had left to go look for Rei. And Hikari   
hadn't left more than ten minutes ago. But it sure _felt_ as though it   
had been longer. Much longer.  
  
She looked out the door, for the 258th time - and she'd kept count.   
Where _was_ he?  
  
^If he's where I _think_ he is, I'm going to tear him a new one. And   
that would just be to start,^ she thought. ^He said he'd just go talk   
to Wondergirl, but that...girl can be strange. Suppose she just came   
right out and said, 'I love you, Ikari-kun.' What would baka Shinji   
say to _that_, huh? I should just leave. Let him try sleeping alone.^  
  
But she didn't move. She continued shifting in her position, waiting   
impatiently.  
  
^Well, since the sun's going down, I guess it would be pretty pointless   
to go out,^ she reasoned. ^Yeah...that's why I'm not leaving.^  
  
She lay down, this time staying there. She crossed her arms over her   
chest and looked at the ceiling, trying to will her mind to think about   
something else. She didn't have much luck.  
  
Some measure of time passed. Finally, footsteps came up to and passed   
through the doorway. Asuka's eyes turned in their sockets, looking at   
Shinji as he came in. She said nothing; she didn't even narrow her   
eyes at him. They both knew who was in the wrong.  
  
"Sorry," Shinji mumbled, almost immediately. "It just took longer than   
I thought."  
  
Asuka rolled her eyes, shaking her head and feeling the dirt crunch   
underneath her hair. "Baka," she said. "You _should_ be sorry. You   
know how long I've been sitting in this stupid place?"  
  
"Sorry." Again, the old excuse, the old escape from guilt.  
  
Asuka summoned up what strength she had left and propelled herself up   
to her feet. "Yeah, you're sorry. Start making up for it," she said.   
It sounded like a command and a suggestion rolled into one. She   
grabbing him by his shirt collar and pulled him towards her, the need   
to satisfy her craving overriding the desire to take it slow.  
  
She could feel him jump a little as his lips touched hers. No matter;   
very often she got him by surprise with this. ^Baka's still just as   
nervous as when I first kissed him,^ she thought, thinking back to that   
time in Misato's apartment, when she'd still just been trying to tease   
him. But he'd catch on eventually...  
  
...ah, there it was.  
  
Asuka turned her head a little more, letting Shinji lean into it more.   
Though they were both nearly exhausted, they were still nearly choking   
on each others' tongues. Their hands began to roam, Asuka's arms going   
around Shinji and pulling him up against her, pressing his body up   
against hers, if only to assure herself that she was no longer waiting,   
alone in the dark.  
  
Finally, Asuka pulled back, turning away and out of Shinji's grasp.   
She tossed her head as though nothing had happened. "Well, that helped   
break the boredom, I guess," she said, in a teasing tone.  
  
"Sorry," Shinji said, once again. "It's just that it took so long to   
find her. Always in the most distant, most inconvenient place, right?"  
  
Asuka snorted. "Well, you could at least _find_ her," she said,   
turning around. "I guess you're good for something."  
  
Shinji smiled, backing up and leaning against a wall. He closed his   
eyes and let out a slow sigh, trying to force the tension out of his   
body. Asuka smirked, coming over to him and placing herself directly   
in front of him. Before Shinji knew what was happening, Asuka had   
placed one hand on the wall on either side of his head, effectively   
holding him in place. Now she stood right in front of him, her clear   
blue eyes locking with his.  
  
"And is everything OK?" Asuka asked, raising her eyebrows haughtily as   
she thinned her eyes to slits. "Didn't want you to know she'd stubbed   
her toe, or something like that?"  
  
"Well, I think everything's OK," Shinji said, looking away nervously.   
"I think Rei's just as unsettled as the rest of us, she just doesn't   
know how to show it...what's wrong?"  
  
He asked this last part as he saw Asuka's eyes widen. Because in her   
mind, it had just clicked what Shinji had said.  
  
"Excuse me," Asuka said, narrowing her eyes again and tilting her head.   
"What did you just call Ayanami?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. Rei told me it was OK if I called her by her first name.   
Said I could if it made me more comfortable."  
  
Asuka developed a tic under one eye. "And it does, I guess?"  
  
"Well, yeah. I worked with her for over a year, and I was still   
calling her like I'd just met her. Maybe without NERV, she thinks it's   
OK to make a friend. Hey...what's wrong, Asuka? Are you angry about   
me being late?"  
  
Asuka found she was unable to answer with words; one of the emotions   
roiling inside of her had sealed her throat closed, tightening it to   
the point that she could barely breathe. So, she just used the _other_   
way she had to answer Shinji's question.  
  
***  
  
"Now I _know_ that's gotta hurt," Touji said, from his seat in a small   
folding chair.  
  
"It does," Shinji said, holding one hand on his cheek. "Believe me   
Touji, it does."  
  
"I don't see why Asuka would get so angry," Hikari said, coming in with   
a wet rag. She handed it to Shinji with an apologetic look. "Here,   
this has been out in the air for a while. It's a little cold."  
  
"Thanks," Shinji said, quietly. Then he held the rag over the perfect   
imprint of Asuka's hand that was now branded onto his left cheek.  
  
"So you want to stay here for tonight?" Touji asked, sprawling out in   
his chair and letting his arms hang limply by his sides.  
  
"If it's OK, Touji. I don't want to impose."  
  
"It's fine," Touji said, waving one arm through the air. But he still   
glanced over at Hikari. The girl looked concerned, as she finished   
making the stew sitting over their small fire. But it was enough; if   
she'd looked as though she disapproved, then Touji would have had to   
change his decision, or else there would be _two_ guys kicked out of   
their shelters tonight.  
  
"Well, we've got enough room for one other guy," Touji said. "You want   
dinner?"  
  
"No thanks," Shinji said. "It hurts to open my mouth right now. I   
think I'll just go to sleep."  
  
"Right."  
  
Shinji stayed in his seat a little longer, feeling his cheek still   
swelling. He was going to have a _nasty_ bruise to explain pretty   
soon.  
  
"So what did you say to her, again?" Hikari asked.  
  
"Nothing!" Shinji said, defensively. "I just told her what Rei told   
me, and how Rei said I could use her first name, now."  
  
Touji cocked an eyebrow, in appreciation of Shinji's apparent ability   
to get Rei Ayanami to open up. Hikari, on the other hand, looked up   
from what she was doing long enough to look at Shinji pensively for a   
moment.  
  
^What are you doing, Ayanami?^ Hikari thought, with some apprehension.   
^I guess it's OK to try getting a friend, but I thought you knew how   
Asuka can be.^ She shook her head, not knowing what to say.  
  
"Well, you can lay down over there," Touji was saying, gesturing to one   
wall of the shelter. "How long you figure you'll need to stay here?"  
  
"Not long. She does this every now and then, you know. In 24 hours   
I'm sure she'll have forgiven me enough to let me back into my own   
home."  
  
***  
  
Ariel was just sitting down for what felt like the first time all day   
when a knock came at her doorway.  
  
She turned her head to see Asuka standing there, her fist still perched   
over the wall she'd just rapped her knuckles on. Under her free arm   
was a folded-up blanket.  
  
"Hi," the German girl said, quietly. "Can I come in?"  
  
Ariel met Asuka's eyes for a moment, swallowing quietly as she did so.   
"I see no difficulty with that."  
  
Not that a different answer would have changed much; Asuka was stepping   
inside and taking a seat even before Ariel had started talking. She   
crossed her legs and leaned forward, resting her hands on her ankles.   
Ariel, for her part, moved off to the side, until she could lean   
against the wall of her shelter. She quickly looked up and around at   
the small room: it was about five by three meters, with the only   
decoration being a blanket at the far end. It wasn't much, but it was   
enough for her to survive, at least for now. She was still amazed at   
how quickly the humans had been able to set it up.  
  
"Do..." Asuka began. Then she shook her head and switched over to   
German. "Do you mind if I talk with you for a while?"  
  
Ariel blinked, then slowly shook her head. "I suspected we would talk   
again at some point." ^Though not this soon,^ she mentally added. ^It   
has not even been a full day yet. Is this how humans interact? I   
wonder if I have the stamina...no, of course I do. I just need to   
alter my outlook, I suppose.^  
  
"I guess I should apologize," Asuka said, leaning back on the blanket   
roll. "Normally, I'd go talk to Hikari, but she's kind of...occupied   
now. I know we just met, but I wanted to talk to someone."  
  
"Very well."  
  
Asuka put one hand on her forehead, as she leaned her head back.   
"Where'd you learn to talk, anyway? You sound like Ayanami, and that's   
_not_ who I want to be listening to right now."  
  
Ariel closed her eyes and took a moment to collect herself. ^_Again_   
she compares me to Zero,^ she thought. "It is just the manner I choose   
to speak in."  
  
"Just don't go around saying 'yes sir'," she said, momentarily   
switching over Japanese and using a ridiculously monotonous tone as she   
spoke Rei's characteristic line. "At least not to me. Or I'll have to   
hit you."  
  
Ariel drew back a little at the implication of violence. "Very well,"   
she said, cautiously.  
  
Asuka fell silent after that, taking several slow breaths. Ariel just   
watched. As much as she tried to resist, she could read Asuka's body   
language like a book. Every little twitch, every breath, every glance   
meant something, and Ariel knew them all by heart. And currently,   
Asuka was quite visibly troubled. Ariel guessed that, even if she   
didn't know Asuka the way she did, she'd be able to tell something was   
bothering the German girl.  
  
^What am I to do in this situation?^ she wondered. ^Am I to attempt   
consolation? Or am I to leave her to deal with her own problems?^  
  
Unable to make a decision on this subject, Ariel continued watching.   
She could _also_ tell by Asuka's body language that the girl was   
working up the courage to try speaking. So it was really just a matter   
of time.  
  
After a few minutes, Asuka raised her head up to look back at the other   
girl. "You ever have a boyfriend, Ariel?"  
  
"No," Ariel answered immediately. "None that I can remember," she   
added on, as an afterthought.  
  
"Oh yeah, your mind's a blank, isn't it?" Asuka asked, leaning back   
onto the blanket.  
  
"I am sorry. But I simply cannot remember much of my past life."  
  
"It's OK." Asuka paused after this. Ariel could see she was choosing   
her words, so she waited.  
  
"Well, you probably snagged a few guys," Asuka said, glancing back at   
the other girl. "Or at least turned a few heads. But anyway, tell   
me...hypothetically speaking, suppose you had a boyfriend."  
  
Ariel blinked at the odd suggestion. "Yes..." ^Though I haven't the   
slightest concept of what that would imply...^  
  
"Now suppose you found out some other girl was interested in him. And   
he was getting kind of friendly with her. What would you do?"  
  
Ariel took a breath, letting herself think. ^I have no idea   
whatsoever,^ she was tempted to say. What experience did she have on   
this subject, anyway? None. Even Asuka's memories were no help; the   
girl had received plenty of love letters, to be sure, but she'd never   
had anyone she'd labeled as her 'boyfriend'.  
  
But as she thought, she reviewed the tones she'd heard in Asuka's   
voice. This wasn't just a random question; she knew that much already.   
Taking into account her apparent relationship with Shinji Ikari,   
then...  
  
"I suppose it would depend on your..._my_ boyfriend's actions," she   
said, cautiously.  
  
"Heh," Asuka said. "Well, suppose he was sacrificing time with you to   
go spend time with..._her_." That last word was nearly growled out.  
  
Ariel swallowed quietly. From what she'd heard, it was someone Asuka   
knew, and knew well. Not only that, but someone she'd already taken a   
dislike to. That left a very small list, which was headed by...  
  
^Zero...^ she thought. ^No, it _cannot_ be. Not the untouchable Zero.^   
She paused, thinking it over. ^Although...I find it difficult to   
believe that this weakling Shinji Ikari could have held more power than   
Zero did during the Unification. Yet her actions were governed by   
his...^  
  
She turned it over in her mind, letting it go through her brain for a   
few seconds before she figured out an answer Asuka would like. "Well,   
punishment would definitely not be unwarranted," she said.  
  
"No kidding. Slap his "I'm sorry" face 'til he takes the hint,   
right?" Asuka said the words, but her voice quavered as she did so.  
  
"Perhaps not physical punishment," Ariel said, awkardly. "Because   
that's obviously hurting you as much as it did him. Perhaps...uh..."  
  
"You can tell, huh?" Asuka asked, sitting up.  
  
Ariel paused, looking at Asuka's face, now sitting in the shadows of   
the growing night. Ariel finally shrugged, at a loss for what to say.   
A silence then fell on the pair, as Asuka leaned back against the wall.   
Some measure of time passed; it became steadily darker, and the stars   
began to come out. And still, no words passed between the two girls.   
Then:  
  
"Without your...Evangelion," Ariel suddenly began. Asuka turned to   
face her, not saying anything, but listening intently. "Without your   
Unit-02...do you feel so worthless? That perhaps Ikari-kun is the only   
thing you have left?"  
  
Asuka said nothing. She merely blinked once in surprise. But   
understanding quickly passed over her face, as she again turned away.   
  
"I don't know..." the German girl mumbled. "I don't know..."  
  
Now sitting in in the encroaching night, she passively let the shadows,   
with their gently imploring touch, envelope her in a dark embrace.   
Slowly, as the last rays of light began to fade, her head still bowed   
in thought, her face gradually grew darker as she seemed to recede into   
serious thought, something she had hardly ever done, but Ariel could   
tell that this time it was dead serious. Suddenly not wanting to be   
around this girl, Ariel started to back away.  
  
Asuka's lips twitched, mouthing a simple word: "mama". Slowly, she   
turned her head, looking over at the retreating girl.  
  
Asuka finally smiled, looking relieved that she was still able to do   
so. "You know, I like you, Ariel. It's like you know me already."  
  
Ariel managed a nervous smile in response to this.  
  
"So anyway..." Asuka continued. "Is it OK if I stay here tonight? I   
promise I won't roll over onto you or anything."  
  
Ariel glanced around at the diminutive size of the shelter again. In a   
way, it was good that she didn't have many furnishings; there was   
nothing to get in the way.  
  
"I suppose," she said, finally. "I normally sleep near the back, so   
the rest is open."  
  
Asuka nodded. "I just don't want to stay back at my place," she said.   
"He might come back begging to be let in...and to tell the truth, I   
don't know what I'd do if he did that."  
  
"The best solution would be to keep him out," Ariel said. "He would   
learn his lesson that way."  
  
Asuka shrugged. "Dunno. I just don't know if I could say that to his   
face. Stupid Shinji can look _reeallly_ pitiful, when he needs to."  
  
"Yes, I suppose Ikari would have practice at - "  
  
"_Please_ don't call him that," Asuka said, exasperated. "Please.   
_Anything_ but 'Ikari-kun'. Call him baka, call him 'Shinji-chan' if   
you want, but don't call him 'Ikari-kun,' or 'Ikari', or anything else   
like that."  
  
Ariel mentally reviewed possibly names for Shinji Ikari. Asuka had   
sounded like she was giving something up by saying she could call him   
anything ending with '-chan'. Apparently she liked being the only one   
to call him that.  
  
"Very well. I suppose...Shinji would have practice at appearing   
pitiful."  
  
"It's his one skill, ain't it?" Asuka asked, smiling again. "That and   
knowing when to be tough. Kinda moot without his Eva, though."  
  
"Not necessarily." ^Why did I say that? Why should it matter to me   
what these humans think of each other? Although...now I too, am   
human...^  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Asuka muttered, unconvinced. She turned and looked   
out into the sky, watching it darken.  
  
Several minutes passed. After a while, Asuka unrolled her blanket near   
the doorway, lying down on it and looking up at the ceiling of the   
shelter.  
  
It was about then that the first lights appeared.  
  
Ariel jumped, letting out a brief cry of surprise as a tiny, yellow orb   
of light, seemingly coming out of nothing, materialized in front of   
her. She backed up until her back was to the wall, her eyes darting   
around quickly. Where had that _come_ from?  
  
It came again. Ariel's gaze shot over to it just as the light, rising   
up into the air, died off. Narrowing her eyes, she could just barely   
make out a small creature, buzzing through the air. Even as she   
watched, it lit up again, rising upwards as it did so.  
  
"Pretty," Asuka said, looking out the door.  
  
Ariel turned her head. Her eyes widened. There were _hundreds_ of the   
little lights, flitting around through the air.  
  
"Wh-what _are_ they?" Ariel asked, looking back to the room and trying   
to pick out the one that had intruded. She found it quickly, also   
seeing that a few more had joined it, and were now flying around inside   
her shelter just as the others were outside.  
  
"Now _don't_ tell me you've never seen fireflies," Asuka said, throwing   
an annoyed glance back at the white-haired girl. "They're harmless.   
You just look at them. They're pretty, huh?"  
  
Ariel looked back out, forcing her heart to stop beating so fast. They   
were just..._lights_, flying in the air.  
  
Flying lights...  
  
She crawled forwards, until she was next to Asuka. Looking out, she   
let herself relax. Knowing there was no danger in looking, she could   
see they _did_ have a sort of natural grace to them. It was like   
a...what was the word? A little like an image from Asuka's past,   
something she'd called a 'Christmas tree', in the dark. Just a bunch   
of lights filling the air.  
  
Asuka reached out and grabbed one of the bugs out of the air, holding   
it in the protective shell of her fist. Smiling, she looked into her   
hand, watching the periodic light flickering out of it.  
  
"I guess this is a good sign," Asuka said. "Next thing you know, we'll   
be having cicadas buzzing away." At this, she extended her hand   
towards Ariel and released the bug. Ariel took the hint and snagged   
the bug before it got too far away.  
  
"No, not like that," Asuka said, seeing Ariel clench her fist. "See,   
now you just crushed it."  
  
Ariel's eyes widened, as she looked into the palm of her hand. "I...I   
didn't mean to," she said, seeing the squashed firefly sitting there.   
Its light was forever extinguished, as surely as its life had been   
ended with that simple gesture. Ironically, even when she'd been an   
Angel, Ariel had never taken a life, though she'd certainly _tried_.   
So, even though it was just a simple insect, she couldn't help feeling   
a little sick, thinking about what she'd just done.  
  
"It's OK. Just try again," Asuka was saying.  
  
Ariel brushed the insect body out of her hand and looked back into the   
night. "I think I will be content to watch," she said.   
  
Asuka smiled, joining the other girl in watching the natural spectacle.   
All around the camp, other people were also coming out to see the   
little miracle.  
  
***  
  
Days passed, slowly but surely turning into weeks. Shinji and the   
others continued expanding and developing their little settlement,   
while Rei and Kaoru maintained the Eva which everyone hoped would not   
be needed again, at least not for the purpose of destruction which   
appeared to be its calling. The metallic titan watched silently as   
homes were developed, its single eye watching unblinkingly, as though   
unable to decide what to think about what it was seeing.  
  
It didn't take _too_ long before Asuka let Shinji sleep back in their   
shelter. She made no further mention of Shinji's use of Rei's first   
name, and didn't even seem to mind when Shinji called the blue-haired   
girl by her first name. Though perhaps she made _too_ much of an   
effort to show it didn't bother her; her aloofness, at times, seemed   
strained.  
  
Though this was technically a time of peace, it was an uneasy one.   
Everyone was wondering if another of the giant white demons would come   
for them, to kill more of their number. It was even worse for people   
like Misato and Shinji, who _knew_ there were other MP Evas out there,   
and who had no guarantees they wouldn't decide to wake up, either.  
  
One day, this peace was broken, by another aerial traveller. Yet it   
was not _nearly_ as unwelcome as another MP Eva would have been.   
Though it had a set of problems all its own to drop on the refugees, as   
well.  
  
***  
  
Shinji looked up as he heard the noise: the steady 'thwock-thwock' of   
helicopter blades, slicing the air hundreds of times a second. The   
tire he'd been rolling towards their collection of automotive parts   
rolled on, finally wobbling and flopping onto the ground with a 'thud'.   
He barely noticed.  
  
There they were: coming in from out of cloud. Not nearly the fleet   
they had been last time, but still, there were four choppers descending   
on the camp.   
  
"They're here," he said, simply. Around him, other people were   
dropping what they were doing and looking to the sky. Conversations   
quickly broke out as to what this visit entailed.  
  
Shinji wasn't all that sure of why they'd be coming, either. That last   
radio message had said the Americans were going to "investigate". What   
that meant doing, he wasn't sure. And what he saw wasn't too   
encouraging: two of the four helicopters were quite obviously meant for   
the blood and chaos of battle. They were much thinner than the other   
two, and each had a pair of weapons-heavy winglets hanging off their   
sides.  
  
^Those two alone could level this whole camp in under five minutes,^   
Shinji thought, nervously. He momentarily tried to console himself by   
saying that if they wanted to attack, they'd have come at night, and   
not in the middle of the day like now. That consolation didn't last   
long. ^Why bother waiting until the night? It's not like we have   
anti-aircraft guns lying around.^  
  
The lead helicopter was that large-windowed scouting model that had   
landed last time. It was probably once again the command ship,   
carrying whoever was in charge. The fourth, however, was definitely   
not a gunship. It was an enormous cargo chopper, larger than the other   
three combined, dangling beneath two sets of blades rotating on top of   
its hull.   
  
^What's _that_ thing for?^ Shinji wondered, as he watched the quartet   
veer off towards a landing point not far from the perimeter of the   
camp. That in itself helped some; at least they weren't immediately   
bombing the whole area.  
  
The attack helicopters split up, staying aloft and keeping a watchful   
eye aimed in every direction, like two ferocious animals straining at   
their leashes as they steadfastly protected their masters from all   
harm. Only after both of the other choppers had landed did the attack   
helicopters begin their respective descents.  
  
Shinji had to squeeze his eyes shut as he approached the landing zone.   
The wind and dust all the blades were kicking up was enough to make him   
have to lean forwards just to keep his balance.  
  
The command helicopter's side door opened, and a man jumped out. He   
was dressed in camo fatigues, and had a rifle of some sort strapped   
onto his back. ^At least it's not in his hands,^ Shinji thought.  
  
The man looked around quickly, nervously. His grip tightened on the   
strap at his shoulder, before he decided all was well. He turned back   
and gestured for the other people in the chopper to come out.  
  
Someone vaguely familiar was the next person out, jumping out the door   
so quickly that the first man had to back off quickly to avoid getting   
hit. He nodded at the first man, who snapped to attention.  
  
The man who'd just exited was also wearing fatigues, but they looked   
significantly more natural on him; _he_ was wearing _them_ instead of   
the other way around. Unlike his compatriot, he was only armed with a   
pistol strapped to his hip. He was also wearing a set of dark aviator   
sunglasses, hiding his eyes. But even with the new addition, Shinji   
instantly recognized the man.  
  
Shinji walked up to him, crossing the distance as quickly as his legs   
would allow. As he approached, the first soldier made as though to   
unshoulder his gun. But the other man just held up a hand, stopping   
him. Then he yelled something in rapid English, to which the other man   
nodded and ran off, towards the cargo chopper.  
  
"Major Lewis?" Shinji asked the significantly larger man, as he finally   
caught up.  
  
"That's the name," came the reply. Lewis eyed Shinji carefully, before   
raising up a hand. "Ikari, right?" he asked, pointing at Shinji.  
  
"Shinji Ikari, yes."  
  
"Yeah, who could forget this place," Lewis said, nonchalantly. He   
turned around, grabbing a handhold and hopping halfway into the chopper   
he'd just left. He yelled something into the interior, gesturing for   
someone else to come out. As he jumped back down, a few more soldiers,   
all looking no older than Shinji and all carrying guns, began to   
clamber out.  
  
"Rookies," Lewis muttered, shaking his head as he jumped back down. He   
reached into the chest pocket of his shirt, pulling out a pack of   
cigarettes.  
  
"So...hello," Shinji said, not really knowing what to say. "I knew   
someone would be coming, but I didn't expect you."  
  
Lewis shrugged, as he pulled out a cigarette. He hesitated, noting the   
high winds from the still-rotating helicopter blades. Deciding to wait   
on the smoke, he stuck the cigarette behind his ear.  
  
"Well," he said, "I just drew the short straw, I guess."  
  
Shinji blinked, not having expected that answer.  
  
Lewis smiled and clapped Shinji on the shoulder, the amicable gesture   
feeling more like a punch than anything else. Shinji winced under the   
sudden force.  
  
"Ah, c'mon, kid. I'm one of the few officers available that speaks   
fluent Japanese. And I'd been here before, anyway. Who else you think   
they'd send here?"  
  
Shinji nodded slowly, trying to pull out of Lewis's grasp on his   
shoulder. He didn't have to try for very long, however; Lewis's gaze   
turned, looking at something behind the boy.  
  
"Hello there, Katsuragi-san," he said, backing away from Shinji and   
bowing ceremoniously.  
  
Shinji turned to see Misato walking up to the choppers. "Major," she   
said, angrily. "What's the meaning of this? You didn't give us any   
warning you were coming. This isn't America, you can't just come and   
go whenever you want."  
  
"Au contraire," Lewis said, raising one finger. "I've been sent over   
here to...explain a few policy changes."  
  
"Policy changes?" Shinji asked.  
  
"And I ain't even a lawyer," Lewis said, shrugging and continuing to   
speak, acting as though Shinji hadn't even opened his mouth. "Come on,   
let's get out of this shit," he continued, gesturing for them to follow   
him. He started heading over towards the cargo chopper, which was   
already lowering its massive loading ramp.  
  
Misato and Shinji looked at each other, both seeing if the other had an   
answer. Then they followed, grateful for the relief from the deafening   
roar of the engines and the choking dust from the blades.  
  
"All right, now that _that's_ over with," Lewis said, turning around,   
"we can talk." He walked backwards, maintaining eye contact while   
continuing towards the helicopter.  
  
"So why are you here?" Misato asked, more calmly.  
  
"I'm here as an investigator to find out what happened to the plane we   
sent out here a while back. Now from what they told me, one of your   
giant robots came and ripped it up."  
  
Shinji shook his head. "It wasn't one of _ours_," he said. "It's got   
a mind of its own." In the back of his mind, he wondered how Lewis   
wasn't tripping over anything as he walked backwards.  
  
"So it attacks American property?" Lewis asked, turning around and   
coming to an abrupt halt. They'd finally reached the back of the   
chopper. Inside, Shinji could hear powerful diesel engines starting   
up.  
  
"I don't _know_ why it went for the plane," Shinji answered,   
exasperated. "Maybe because the Eva was in the air, too."  
  
"Oh, yeah, I forgot. The 'bad' giant robots can fly, and yours can't,   
right?" A definite cynical tone was present in Lewis' voice as he said   
this.  
  
"You can look over Unit-00 if you want," Shinji continued. "It doesn't   
have wings. Not like the Eva Production Series."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. You might want to stand back, kid."  
  
Shinji looked up just in time to see a veritable mountain of metal   
trundling down the offloading ramp on thick caterpillar treads. He   
jumped, quickly backing away from the machine.  
  
As the shock quickly passed off, he saw that it was, in fact, a   
bulldozer coming down off the ramp. Hiding in the shadowy interior of   
the chopper was more of the same.  
  
"What's all this for?" he asked incredulously, gesturing at it.  
  
"Well," Lewis said, glancing down at the boy, "if we're gonna build a   
landing strip, we're gonna need something more than a few shovels,   
son."  
  
"A _what_? Major, why build a landing strip?"  
  
"So we don't have to come hauling around in these damn helicopters all   
the time, of course. If we can get something set up, we can use cargo   
planes to fly stuff in, and send the choppers out somewhere else."  
  
"Wait a minute," Misato said, walking up to the man. "Who gave you   
permission to build here? This _is_ Japanese soil."  
  
"New law, Katsuragi-san. America needs a presence here if it's going   
to investigate properly."  
  
"And if we say no?"  
  
Lewis turned to face her, lowering his sunglasses and looking into her   
eyes. His gaze held none of the 'one-of-the-guys' feeling that seemed   
to follow him around. Rather, it was the cold, merciless gaze of   
someone who knew what it meant to be in the military. His blue eyes   
met Misato's brown ones, an invisible war going on between them. Lewis   
didn't need to say it out loud; if they refused, then the Americans   
would _take_ a plot of land.  
  
Misato looked away, seeing it was rather pointless to continue. She   
still grit her teeth, in frustration. Lewis, smirking, replaced his   
glasses and turned back around, supervising the work.  
  
"So anyway, we'll be setting up out here," the man continued, watching   
as another bulldozer rolled out. "We'll try not to bother you people   
too much, but we want to be close enough to see these robots for   
ourselves, if another one comes along."  
  
Shinji watched nervously, as the huge machines set up for work. Men   
and women scurried around them, directing the drivers and doing last-  
minute checks before the giant shovels started on their business of   
reshaping the very earth.  
  
"So you want to stay close enough to defend us?" Shinji asked, as the   
first bulldozer began to get lined up.  
  
Lewis glanced down at him. "My first responsibility is to my men, kid.   
That, and see just what the hell is going on here that's causing so   
much trouble. I won't be bringing in any tanks, if that's what you're   
wondering. Hell, even _those_ babies," he said, gesturing at the   
attack helicopters, "will be shipping out in the next few days."  
  
"So what are you supposed to do, then?" Shinji asked, not   
understanding.  
  
"Watch, mostly," Lewis said, again turning his gaze on the boy. "I   
can't ask my superiors for anything unless I prove that there's a   
reason to request the stuff, in the first place."  
  
Shinji backed off, letting out a slow sigh. ^Figures,^ he thought. He   
glanced at Misato, who was just shaking her head slowly, watching as   
the construction machines began their work.  
  
^So we're still on our own.^  
  
***  
  
It passed through the air, silent as a ghost, just as intangible, and   
just as terrifying to behold.  
  
It was a living midnight, the darkness of the heart given monstrous   
shape and form. Its very physical presence was nothing but an   
illusion. An illusion the Lilum, in their blind overconfidence, had   
fallen for, time and again.  
  
One of them had already paid the price for his ignorance. Now he was   
slowly being digested, destroyed by forces his simple mind could not   
even begin to fathom. He had been the Lilum's strongest warrior, and   
he had fallen so easily...  
  
It went back through its memories, to when it had first pulled in that   
machine, that bastard child of the true Mother. The Lilum had been   
communicating by some kind of energy waves going through the air. They   
had been easily detected and even heard.  
  
"A shadow?!" Shock, and stark fear.  
  
"Ikari-kun!" More fear, but not for oneself. Rather, fear over the   
situation of another. What was the word for it...worry?  
  
"Baka! Get out of there!" This voice betrayed anger, but also hurt,   
and more of this 'worry'.  
  
"Asuka! Ayanami! Misato-san! Misato-sa..."  
  
Surely these Lilum were not true threats. How had they managed to   
destroy so many of the others? By luck? No. Perhaps the others had   
just been weaker. Yes, that was the answer: it was the strongest yet.   
Using subtlety instead of pure force, it had overcome those toys of the   
Lilum.  
  
It switched its focus to the lilum inside of its body: apparently, the   
boy was having a brief hallucination, something the Lilum referred to   
as a 'dream'. The images were much more clouded, more distorted than   
when it had been listening to the Lilum communications. It could only   
make out a brief sentence:  
  
"Well, that's good for you,"   
  
This was the voice of a female. How odd. Why would the boy dream a   
female's voice? Not that it mattered. Now to move on to Father...  
  
***  
  
Shinji woke up, in a cold sweat.  
  
"What the..." he muttered. He got to his feet, holding one hand to his   
forehead, as though trying to sense by touch what was going on inside   
of his brain. On the ground, Asuka rolled over, mumbling to herself   
but staying asleep.  
  
The dream, like all dreams, was slowly evaporating, even as he tried to   
grasp onto it and remember what he'd seen. Only a few things remained,   
sticking in his mind instead of disappearing in the face of the   
sunrise. Mostly, they were sensations, emotions and desires not his   
own. Of coldness, of a raw sense of purpose, driving him onwards   
relentlessly. Of a sensation of...darkness, so utterly complete it   
could never have come from any human heart.  
  
Memories, long put aside in an effort to release the past, immediately   
sparked to life, as though those events had happened only yesterday.   
He could remember crying out those names, long ago. He remembered   
seeing Unit-01's feet sinking into a black shadow, being sucked into   
depths better left unknown. The shadow had crawled up the Eva's body,   
a numb feeling creeping through him as it sucked him in, like the   
numbing sensation of frostbite.  
  
He knew his radio had still been working then, but he hadn't been   
paying attention, for obvious reasons. But this dream had dredged up   
those memories. Asuka had been herself, sounding angry at him, but   
still scared. He could remember that much.  
  
And Rei...  
  
She'd...  
  
She'd sounded _worried_? The girl without feeling, sounding worried?   
About _him_? Why?  
  
Shinji started walking, not sure of where he was going or why. He got   
outside of his shelter, turning as he saw the sun rising up over the   
horizon. In the background, he could hear some people beginning to   
stir, coming out to greet the day.  
  
He turned, feeling his gaze drawn to a specific direction. It was like   
a magnet, slowly but surely turning him where he stood, until he was   
staring out over the land, several degrees to the right of the rising   
sun. He tried turning his head to one side, then the other, and always   
felt that odd pulling sensation, turning him back to look in exactly   
the same direction as before. An invisible hand beckoned to him, again   
drawing his eyes towards that point on the horizon. It was   
simultaneously enticing and horrifying, filling him with a sensation of   
raw fear and a burning need to find what it was that sought him.  
  
Then, like the dream, it was gone, forgotten in an instant. He   
blinked, surprised at the sudden loss of the pulling sensation. But   
also with this loss, a feeling of raw fear was growing in him, making   
his heart beat faster. He'd been about to see it, about to make some   
revelation about something important. But now he'd lost that   
opportunity, again being plunged into the dark night of ignorance.  
  
He swallowed, backing off and looking around quickly, trying to see   
what it could be. Nothing was in the vicinity, at least nothing he   
could see. So what could it have been?  
  
His eyes fell on Unit-00, still waiting out at the edge of the camp,   
locked into a kneeling position, like a warrior waiting to tbe   
knighted. Or to betray its master at the slightest sign of weakness;   
no one was really sure which. Shinji's eyes widened, as a thought   
struck him.  
  
He turned, going back to his footprints and finding where he'd been   
standing. With his finger, he drew a line in the dirt, aiming off at   
the point on the horizon that had held his attention so firmly. Then,   
he looked up at the sun, squinting to try and protect his eyes.   
  
If the sun could be assumed to be at dead east, then south would be   
_there_, and west would be _there_...  
  
He drew four lines on the ground, in the four cardinal compass   
directions. Then he stared at his little artwork, trying to imprint it   
on his memory. Once he was sure he had it appropriately memorized, he   
turned and jogged off towards another end of the camp, where the   
Americans had set up their base. The bulldozers, cement mixers,   
backhoes, and other construction vehicles lay dormant for the moment,   
but within hours they would power up again, their roaring engines   
rousing everyone from whatever sleep they may have been hanging on to.   
The Americans had been working hard for weeks, and the progress was   
definitely showing; it wouldn't be long before a halfway-decent landing   
strip would be in place.  
  
He tried not to think about what it could be, that odd dream. In fact,   
he tried not to think at all. But one thing kept coming back into his   
head, a mantra repeating over and over again:  
  
"Well, that's good for you."  
  
He couldn't stop thinking about it. He could remember Rei saying that   
to him, once, after the 12th Angel. He'd been shocked out of his skin,   
both that Rei would say something like that, and that he was sure he'd   
heard someone else saying those same words, sometime, somewhere...but   
the memory was long gone, blown away like dust on the wind. Whatever   
it was, there had been an unmistakable feeling of deja vu, hearing Rei   
say that.  
  
With this phrase still stuck in his head, he made it to the main tent   
of the Americans. A man stood guard there, holding a machine gun   
loosely against his shoulder. He saw Shinji, and nodded, a polite   
greeting. Shinji didn't return the nod; he just walked through, and   
into the tent. Of _course_ he could get in here. Lewis would have   
made sure his men knew who was in charge.  
  
There: sitting in the middle of the tent was a table, with an enormous   
map covering its surface and hanging off the edges, like a tablecloth.   
As Shinji walked up to it, he could see it was a map of Japan. It was   
just what he'd wanted to see. Though he prayed that it wouldn't show   
him what he feared.  
  
It only took him a few moments to find a pencil lying on another table   
nearby. The tent's few early-morning occupants watched him   
suspiciously, wondering why the leader of the Japanese survivors would   
come in here so early, without so much as a quick apology for the   
intrusion.  
  
Shinji paid them no heed; for once in his life, an apology was not at   
his lips. His mind was focused entirely on the task at hand; it had to   
be, so he could remember what direction he'd been looking in. His face   
appeared strained, as though he was only just realizing how many lives   
depended on him. And how they also depended on him drawing this   
correctly.  
  
He made a dot right where he could see the camp on the map, about where   
he figured he'd been standing. Checking the compass rose at one corner   
of the map, he drew two lines, cutting an imaginary wedge out of the   
paper. As he did this, one man at the back stood up, holding up a hand   
as though to stop him from doodling on their property. But then he   
lowered his hand; he didn't want to bother someone his commander had   
said was the man in charge.  
  
Shinji looked around, his eyes darting across the paper, searching.   
His eyes widened as he saw what he hadn't wanted to see.  
  
Carefully, he lengthened his lines, trying to keep them acceptably   
straight. He couldn't _exactly_ remember which way he'd been looking,   
so he had to give himself some margin of error with this wedge. But if   
he drew it too large, then he might get the wrong idea from what could   
have just been a bad dream.   
  
But Shinji had the sinking feeling it wasn't "just" a bad dream. Bad   
dreams didn't leave sick feelings in your stomach, lingering long after   
you'd awoken. Bad dreams didn't leave the feeling that something had   
touched your mind, had invaded you and somehow left an eternal scar on   
your very psyche. It was kind of like the feeling he'd had after he'd   
first piloted Eva-01.   
  
He continued his lines until they reached the Japanese coastline, off   
to the southeast.  
  
And between them...  
  
"Oh, no..." he mumbled, his voice little more than a whisper. As the   
horror of full realization came upon his mind, he backed away from the   
table in fear, the pencil dropping from his fear-stricken hand, or as   
if it had become a hissing viper in his grip. Turning, he bolted out   
of the tent, past the guard, and back towards the camp.  
  
Back inside the tent, the man who'd been about to stop Shinji walked up   
to the map and looked at what could have caused such a problem. He   
shrugged at what he saw, then went back to his work, figuring it was   
the problem of someone higher up the command chain than he was.  
  
After all, what did it matter that the boy had bracketed one of those   
petrified giant robots with his two lines?  
  
***  
  
"So you admit there's no concrete evidence?" Ritsuko asked, from her   
seat in a folding chair.  
  
"I don't know," Shinji said, running his hands through his hair. "But   
it's just...I _know_. Something is going to happen, and it won't be   
good. I can't help feeling that if we don't do anything, we'll all end   
up paying for it."   
  
^And pay dearly^ he added mentally. For one of the few times in his   
life, he was able to put his convictions into words, and though the   
foundation they stood on was shaky at best, he had to try and convince   
them, warn them of the coming danger.  
  
They were currently in a tent the Americans had let them have;   
apparently they'd brought enough supplies this time to let the   
survivors actually keep some of the materials the relief crews used,   
instead of just snatching them away as they left. Asuka, Kaoru, Rei,   
Misato, and Ritsuko were all sitting in a semicircle, looking at   
Shinji, who was pacing nervously in front of them.  
  
The boy in question briefly thought about sitting down, then turned   
around and went back to walking, apparently unable to decide what to do   
with his arms. So he simply resolved to hold them tightly against his   
sides, as though trying to hold onto anything in a world he simply   
could not control. It was something none of them had really expected   
to ever see: Shinji Ikari, actually trying to convince other people to   
take action, instead of the other way around.  
  
"We can at least look," he mumbled. The words came out more of their   
own accord than his own, so caught up he was in trying to balance the   
need to convince them and the need to maintain his fragile image as a   
leader.  
  
Rei watched, her face still blank. She felt uneasy, watching Shinji   
behaving like this. She was confused, not knowing what to think,   
seeing the boy mired in anxiety like this. She glanced over at Kaoru,   
sitting on her left. The boy apparently read the question in her eyes,   
because he shook his head. He leaned forwards, lowering his voice to a   
barely audible whisper that, if the two pale children were not who they   
were, would have been considered conspiratorial.  
  
"He sounds earnest," Kaoru said, calmly. "He does not seem unsettled   
enough to be losing his reason."  
  
Rei nodded slightly. "Yet Ikari-kun has never before relied   
on...guesses," she whispered back, using the only word she could think   
of to describe the situation. "Nor has he ever shown this sort of   
conviction about an unsupported claim."  
  
"Shinji, you're getting paranoid," Asuka was commenting. "You've got   
to loosen up. It's a tough time, I know." For once, the girl sounded   
genuinely concerned.  
  
"Yes," Misato said, nodding at Asuka in agreement. She turned back to   
Shinji. "Shinji-kun, I can see you feel strongly about this. But we   
can't just pack up and head off for the coast without some kind of real   
evidence."  
  
Ritsuko raised her voice again. "Ikari, I don't know what's going on   
in your head, when you say you just 'know'. But _I_ know that it is   
generally a bad course of action to commit so many resources on   
something that may not even be real."  
  
Rei glanced over at Ritsuko, then looked silently over to Shinji,   
waiting to see how the boy would respond.  
  
Shinji let out a sigh, gritting his teeth and finally forcing himself   
to stop pacing for a while. His right hand clenched tightly into a   
fist, shaking with repressed frustration. "Maybe that's true...but I   
can't just sit around here doing _nothing_ when I think...no, it's   
stronger than that...when the sun might not even rise tomorrow!"  
  
In the silence that followed, everyone's attention was eventually drawn   
over to the quiet whispering over at Rei and Kaoru's end of the group.  
  
"Excuse me?" Misato said politely, raising her eyebrows.  
  
Kaoru looked up immediately, making eye contact with Misato as Rei went   
back to staring at the wall. Most people who knew her before the  
apocalypse might make a joke of it, saying it was due to the lack of a   
window in the room or just her usual habit, but only a few would have   
noticed that she was truly absorbed in her thoughts.  
  
"Yes, Misato-san?" Kaoru asked, politely.  
  
"Have you two been paying attention?" Misato asked, smiling a little.  
  
"Of course. We were just discussing the issues."  
  
Misato opened her mouth to say something else, but then thought better   
of it and looked away. Over at the other end, Asuka rolled her eyes,   
mouthing the word, "Wondergirl" as she did so. Since she was sitting   
in Rei's field of vision, the blue-haired girl was able to see the   
move. She turned her head slightly, locking eyes with Asuka. Asuka   
tried to return the stare, but then looked away, not wanting to try   
facing down those eyes, boring into her with the stabbing cold of   
icicles, akin to the feeling most people get upon seeing the shining   
metal of a gun barrel, its laser sight hovering directly above their   
heart.  
  
"The people here need us," the German girl said, shrugging as she   
shifted her attention back to Shinji. "And you know we can't just   
leave them all behind because you had a bad dream."  
  
Faced with a wall of unanimous opposition, Shinji looked away. Rei   
could see him rationalizing to himself that maybe it _had_ just been a   
dream. She let out a slow sigh, thinking things through for herself.  
  
"Look, I have work to get back to," Ritsuko said, standing up. "Ikari,   
if you can get me some kind of real evidence, I'll be behind you. But   
until then..." she trailed off, shrugging. After a moment, she turned   
and left, the tent flaps swaying as she brushed past them.  
  
Even before Ritsuko's footsteps had receded, Misato shook her head.   
"Shinji-kun, the same goes for me, I'm sorry to say. I _want_ to   
believe you, really, but...well, maybe we can talk the Americans into   
helping out."  
  
^Unlikely,^ Rei thought, hearing the tone in Misato's voice. The woman   
was just saying that so that Shinji could feel a little better about   
what was apparently a waste of time. Rei knew as well as everyone else   
in the room that the Americans either couldn't or wouldn't help them,   
at least not until they saw a good reason to. That in itself was   
another reason to stay, even if no one had said it out loud. Why leave   
to attack another Eva? If Shinji were correct, then if they stayed   
here, the MP Eva would eventually attack, giving the Americans the   
proof they wanted.  
  
But not before a lot of people died. ^It is not our place to decide   
who may live and die,^ Rei thought. ^Ikari-kun does not hold that kind   
of authority.^ She thought it over. ^Should _anyone_ hold that kind   
of authority?^  
  
Shinji looked to Asuka, his eyes nearly desperate. The girl looked at   
him apologetically, but said nothing; not in front of an audience.  
  
Shinji backed up, leaning against a wall, looking like he was ready to   
collapse. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Sorry for getting you all excited   
like this." He slumped against the wall in utter defeat, robbed and   
drained of any will left to move, think, or act in any manner in the   
face of, and the completeness of, his defeat. To someone who knew  
just the right things, he looked just like Evangelion Unit 01 did in   
the battle against the Third Angel, when it had been smashed against a   
wall and defeat seemed almost certain with its inexperienced and   
frightened pilot unconscious. Like his Eva, he was defeated; his hand   
didn't tighten into the fist it seemed accustomed to becoming, now.   
Some flicker of hope, of determination, could still be seen in his   
eyes, but even that was slowly vanishing, disappearing under the veil   
of apathy which, for just a moment, had lifted off of the boy, long   
enough to crush his hopes of any support.  
  
Rei watched him sink into a depression, feeling something pulling at   
her heart. Inside, she could feel some kind of...sensation, akin to   
pain. But it was not sharp and intense like mere physical pain, which   
she had grown to know and live with. Rather, it was duller, deeper,   
and it flooded her entire being with a mix of dread, fear, and cold,   
icier than even an Angel's touch.   
  
And the feeling became progressively worse, as Shinji continued to fold   
in on himself, simply crumbling like a building bereft of support. The   
boy's carefully built confidence was seeping out of him bit by bit, as   
if his very life force was being drained.   
  
Even as she watched, his demeanor changed, from the determined yet   
frightened one he'd had only moments ago, to a broken, frustrated one.   
And as it happened, Rei felt something she had never known, much less   
appreciated, crumbling to dust inside of her. She tried to catch   
whatever remnants there were, but they indifferently slipped through   
her fingers like sand, blowing away at the first wind and forever   
denying the answer to her. She felt cold, broken, watching Shinji.  
  
Like a forgotten doll.  
  
It could only be seen by the extremely perceptive. It was so subtle,   
that no one near her could feel Rei's change in mood. But Rei's eyes   
softened, as they watched at Shinji slumping down. She could see him   
giving up, already questioning what fragile faith the others had had in   
him to begin with, and wondering how much of it was left.   
  
She watched him crumble from within, like an irreplacable and ancient   
stained glass window, years in the making, and only seconds in the   
destruction. It would never regain its former glory, and it seemed as   
if even the final shards were being crushed under someone's heel.  
  
Rei thought quickly, forcing her mind to make a decision, rather than   
be told the answer. Finally, she let out a quick breath, closing her   
eyes as she came to a resolution. She stood up.  
  
Everyone briefly glanced at her, only to see who was moving. They all   
looked away immediately, though Shinji's eyes lingered on Rei for a   
heartbeat longer. Rei could see it in his eyes: a feeling of betrayal.   
Of another person leaving him behind, refusing to support him.  
  
Rei opened her mouth, pausing briefly to gather herself together.   
^Treat it as though it were a status report,^ she thought. ^It is   
something that needs to be said, nothing more, nothing less.^  
  
"I support Ikari-kun," she said, finally.  
  
Dead silence was the only response. Yet it was deafening, in its   
completeness. Kaoru was the first to react, tilting his head and   
giving her an interested smile.  
  
Asuka whirled. "What did you say?" she asked, incredulously. Misato   
was giving Rei a look that asked the same question, while Shinji...  
  
...Shinji's face was one of total confusion. He wanted to believe what   
he was hearing, but he couldn't. He was a 'useless boy', in so many   
words. He'd wasted their time because he'd had a little daydream. And   
yet, Rei...  
  
"I support Ikari-kun," Rei repeated, in the exact same tone and volume,   
as she looked over at Asuka.  
  
Asuka's eyes widened, as she visibly fought the urge to resort to   
physical combat. She took a step towards Rei, as her fists slowly   
clenched. Her eyes flickered off to the side, however, at Misato,   
after the first step. She halted her advance, preferring instead to   
just meet Rei's eyes with a smoldering gaze.  
  
"And why is that, Rei?" Misato asked, her voice interested and at the   
same time concerned.  
  
"Though he is out of practice, he does have combat experience,   
Katsuragi-san," Rei said, not taking her eyes off of Asuka even for a   
moment. "Any impressions he receives will be based upon his   
experience, and therefore have some realistic aspect. It would be in   
our best interests to listen to them."  
  
Shinji blinked rapidly, as the scene unfolded in front of him.   
"Ayanami..." he mouthed. Rei, her eyes still held by Asuka's, did not   
catch the gesture.  
  
"It's still just a hunch, Rei," Misato said. "We can't afford to waste   
resources on something like that. We don't have any resources to   
waste."  
  
Rei shook her head slightly, finally looking over at Misato. "Yet if   
Ikari-kun is right, as I believe he is, then we have the opportunity to   
prevent further damage to this encampment, by moving to an offensive   
stance."  
  
Asuka had finally calmed down, though she still turned up her nose and   
crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, you're forgetting something,   
Ayanami. Me and Shinji-chan are holding all the cards. And I don't   
especially feel like sending out half the camp on a wild goose chase,   
while those damn Americans cut themselves out a nice home where _we're_   
supposed to live!"  
  
"It is irrelevant, Soryu," Rei shot back, her voice still level, though   
a little louder than usual. "It is possible that if we do not act on   
this now, there will be no 'home' for any of us."  
  
Kaoru snorted out a brief laugh, looking down at his feet. Asuka   
turned her head towards him.  
  
"Something you felt like adding, Nagisa?" Asuka asked, her eyes   
narrowing.  
  
"Nothing, nothing," Kaoru replied, smiling back. He got to his feet,   
standing next to Rei. "But you forgot that Rei and I have full   
possession over the one piece of equipment we would actually require."  
  
Asuka blinked. Hard. "You wouldn't dare," she said, her voice nearly   
a growl.  
  
Kaoru just raised his eyebrows, shrugging as he looked back at her.  
  
"That Eva is _ours_," Asuka replied. "You can't just go out on some   
_joyride_ while we're still struggling here! We need that thing around   
here, Nagisa!"  
  
Shinji, at some point, had come away from the wall, and now stood   
behind Asuka. He gently put his hands on her shoulders, making the   
girl jerk around quickly to see who was behind her. She only just   
barely relaxed as she identified him.  
  
"Asuka _is_ right," Shinji said, quietly. "We _do_ need the Eva here.   
Kaoru-kun, and...Rei, I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea."  
  
"No, it was not," Rei replied, this time shifting her gaze to meet   
Shinji's eyes. She felt her heartbeat accelerating as his deep blue   
eyes met hers. Confusion filled her, as to what this reaction meant.   
Yet still she was able to find her words, her mind able to operate even   
when bewilderment was threatening to cloud her perception.  
  
"You believed you were right, Ikari-kun," she continued. "And I   
support your original decision."  
  
Shinji shook his head. "No, look..."  
  
"I trust your judgement, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said, an apologetic look on   
his face as he cut the boy off. However, a faint note of sadness was   
present in his voice. "I...know from experience that you make the   
right choice when necessary."  
  
Shinji looked back at them, falling silent. His eyes went to the thick   
scar around Kaoru's neck, but only for a moment. He could not quite   
drive out that horrible sensation, something that had plagued his   
nightmares after...it had happened. The feel of something in his hand,   
of bones crushing and blood spraying as he'd clenched his fist,   
destroying the one thing he'd held dear. Because it had been the   
'right' thing to do. He closed his eyes shut, trying to block out that   
image. Apparently, two years was not long enough to entirely come to   
terms with what he'd done to Kaoru.  
  
In his mind, he was shouting at himself to say that Kaoru was right.   
To say that he could feel that something was wrong, something that he   
just _knew_ wasn't from a human. But he couldn't say that. Everyone   
else had just denounced him, so he had to be wrong.  
  
Right?  
  
Rei stepped forwards, hesitantly. "You have made a decision, Ikari-  
kun," she said, quietly. "And I intend to stand by it. Not a   
retraction in the face of...uncertainties." As she said this last   
word, her eyes flickered between Misato and Asuka. Misato blinked,   
feeling a slight tingle of shame in her from those accusing red eyes.   
Asuka, however, gave no such reaction. She just seethed, not wanting   
to say anything to justify Rei.  
  
Shinji blinked, looking at Rei as though seeing her for the first time.   
"I can't..." he said. Then he shook his head. "Well, Rei...I guess we   
can at least see if anyone wants to come along."  
  
Asuka looked from Rei over to Shinji, then back to Rei. Taking a   
breath, she whirled on Shinji, fists bunched at her waist. Rei could   
not see Asuka's face, but from Shinji's reacton, she could take a   
pretty good guess.  
  
"You _can't_!" the German girl said, nearly shouting. "If we go,   
they'll...they'll..." she stammered, unable to say much more because of   
the raw fury filling her. She swallowed, forcing herself into some   
semblance of calm. "If we go, we'll get set back for weeks, Shinji.   
We can't afford to miss a _day_ out here! And now, just because   
of...you want to..."  
  
Shinji put his hands on Asuka's shoulders again. "I just want to see   
if anyone else would go on this crazy thing," he said, keeping his   
voice soothing. "And you know one of us can stay behind. It's not   
like we _both_ have to go."  
  
Asuka just stared at him after that last comment. "I'm coming," she   
said, simply, then stalked past him, out the tent flaps and back into   
the world outside. Shinji watched the space where she'd been, then   
shook his head. His feet immediatly started carrying him towards the   
exit.   
  
But he stopped before he could leave, turning back to face Rei. For a   
long moment, he just looked at her, trying to decide what to say. Rei,   
for her part, felt her pulse begin to accelerate again, under his gaze.  
  
"Ayanami, I...well, I...," he said, trying to think of what to say.  
  
"Come on, baka Shinji!" Asuka's voice called from outside. "You're the   
one who wants to get ready!"  
  
"Coming!" Shinji called back. He glanced back at Rei. "Thanks," he   
said, knowing it wasn't nearly enough. But it was all he had time for;   
the next moment, he was gone, chasing after the German fireball.  
  
Misato, who'd been watching, shook her head. "Every time I see them   
like that, I have to fight not to step in," she said, still looking at   
the door. "I guess they just have to learn on their own, huh?" she   
asked, turning towards Rei and Kaoru.  
  
Kaoru nodded, grinning as he did so. "A feeling similar to a mother   
watching her children grow up, I suppose?"  
  
"Exactly," Misato said, smiling sadly. She looked back at the doorway.   
"Oh, for the good old days of living in an apartment with the two of   
them."  
  
Rei did not partake in this exchange. She simply started walking,   
heading out of the tent. Her face, though betraying little, still had   
a slight hint of sadness to it. No one, including Rei herself, would   
know, but it was the same expression she'd had on her face when Gendo   
Ikari had taken her to Lilith.  
  
^I merely wanted to reinforce his position as leader,^ she thought. ^I   
suppose expecting anything in return would be unwarranted. Still...you   
are welcome, Ikari-kun.^  
  
***  
  
Several days later, Lewis was inside of his tent, sitting on a folding   
chair and staring at the wall. The silence and darkness of night had   
long ago fallen around the area, but he didn't feel like sleeping.  
  
On the wall was an old dartboard he'd brought with him. And on a small   
card table next to him was an assortment of several glittering knives.  
  
Carefully, he picked up one knife by the blade, balanced it for a   
moment between his fingers, then flicked his wrist, sending the weapon   
flying towards the wall. He flinched, as the knife bounced off the   
edge of the dart board, cutting into the canvas side of the tent before   
clattering to the ground.  
  
"Shit..." he muttered to himself, reaching for another knife. Although   
several knives were imbedded in the board itself, there was also a   
large collection of suspicous rips around it.  
  
The next knife hit the board with a satisfying 'thock' sound, quivering   
slightly in the 15 points position. As one corner of his mouth turned   
up, Lewis reached for the smoking cigarette sitting next to the knives.   
He brought it to his lips just as the tent flaps rustled.  
  
He'd positioned his seat such that the doorway to his tent was just a   
little off to his right; still in his field of vision, but far enough   
out of the line of fire that he wouldn't accidentally catch someone   
with a ricocheted knife. He looked up, taking a drag on the cigarette   
to give him time to think up what to say. He quickly identified the   
person entering as Asuka Soryu Langley. Right behind her was that   
Shinji Ikari boy.  
  
"Good evening," Shinji said, as he came in.  
  
"Major, we've got a favor to ask," Asuka said, moments after Shinji had   
spoken.  
  
Lewis slowly let out the lungful of smoke, filling the air in front of   
him. "Figured I wouldn't be getting both leaders at once just 'cause   
you were feelin' lonely," he said, in a slightly mocking tone. "What's   
your problem?"  
  
"Well, we're..." Shinji said, trailing off. "That is, we..."  
  
"We're taking the Eva off towards the coast," Asuka said, firmly. Her   
face was set, now; she showed none of her previous trepidation.  
  
"Congratulations," Lewis said, sarcastically. He reached over and   
picked up another knife, closing one eye and inspecting the weapon for   
straightness. "So why do I care?"  
  
"We need some support," Asuka said, putting her hands on her hips. Her   
brow furrowed in slight annoyance that the Major wasn't giving them his   
full attention.  
  
Lewis turned and flicked his wrist again, sending the knife humming   
into the board. "What kind?" he asked, again cautious. "Better not be   
anything too extreme."  
  
"Well, to start, we could use some fuel," Shinji began, hesitantly.   
"We have some vehicles that'll run, but we only have the gas in their   
tanks - "  
  
"Fuel, you can have," Lewis said, cutting him off. "We got too much of   
the stuff already. Now what else? You're way too nervous to just be   
asking for gas."  
  
The children hesitated, looking at each other nervously. Lewis just   
smirked and took another draw on his cigarette.  
  
"We need some of your trucks."  
  
Lewis coughed, choking on his cigarette in surprise. Surprise both   
from the demand and from the new voice. He turned his head, seeing   
Misato walking in, coming to stand behind the two children.  
  
"The chaperone's arrived, I see," he said, spitting out his cigarette   
and leaving it to slowly burn away on the dirt ground. He shifted his   
grip on the knife. "Were you standing outside to make sure they didn't   
screw up?"  
  
Misato's eyes narrowed. "I just came in a little late, that's all."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Lewis said, throwing the knife. It stuck into the very   
edge of the board, then slid out of the too-shallow indentation,   
clanging to the floor.  
  
He looked back at them. "That's impossible," he said, raising his   
eyebrows. "I'm not authorized to give stuff like that away."  
  
"We only need one or two of them," Asuka said, successfully keeping   
herself from taking a pleading tone. "Look, we've got some vehicles   
salvaged from the ruins around here, but they can only hold so much.   
We just need a little more room, and maybe some extra equipment."  
  
"And a side order of fries," Lewis added on, cynically. "Look, you're   
talking about American hardware, here. Stuff that hasn't been rated as   
'give away'. I can't just let you drive off in that stuff without a   
certified individual accompanying you."  
  
"What kind of certified individual?" Asuka asked, crossing her arms and   
looking down her nose at him.  
  
Lewis smirked, picking up another knife and standing up. Now at his   
full height, he was taller than the rest of them. Asuka could no   
longer look down at him.  
  
"Probably an officer," he said. "Though I could probably get away with   
just packing a grunt along with you. But I can't even do that, girl,"   
he said, turning and slinging the knife through the air with his whole   
arm. It 'thocked' dead-center into the board. Lewis smiled to   
himself, seeing this, then looked back to them. "I'm under orders to   
stay here, and that's what I'm gonna do."  
  
"But this is serious!" Shinji shouted out. "There could be another Eva   
about to come here and wreck this whole camp!"  
  
"In other words," Misato said, more calmly, "it concerns you too,   
Major."  
  
Lewis turned away, rubbing at his chin thoughtfully. "Well, let's   
see," he said, quietly. "Supposing you're even telling the truth, my   
hands are still tied. So I guess that leaves you with just two   
options." He turned around and started ticking things off on his   
fingers. "You could beat me up, and try using me as a hostage."  
  
Shinji unconsciously looked Lewis over. The man had to weigh over   
ninety kilos, none of which was fat. That, plus whatever hand-to-hand   
training he knew from being in the military...^not a good choice,^ he   
thought to himself.  
  
"Or," Lewis continued, "you could try breaking into the next cargo   
chopper. Which means subduing the armed guards _and_ making sure the   
pilot doesn't just lift off while you're trying to steal what you   
need," he finished, emphasizing the word 'steal'.  
  
Shinji averted his eyes from the Major's gaze. Asuka glowered, but   
looked away, as well. Misato, on the other hand, looked at him   
strangely, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
"You're telling me you can't just loan us something you've already put   
on the ground?" she asked. "You must have over a dozen vehicles lined   
up, out there," she said, anger showing in her voice as she gestured   
broadly towards the edge of the American camp.  
  
"Nope," Lewis said, sitting back down. "There's some red tape even I   
have to go through just to authorize someone to drive some of that   
hardware. I don't just have a lockbox with all the keys in them, boys   
and girls. We're a little more organized than that."  
  
Shinji sighed. "Sorry to have wasted your time, Major," he said. He   
carefully put one arm around Asuka's waist and turned her around,   
before the German girl could say anything inappropriate to the American   
commander. Misato gave him a burning look, then turned around, as   
well.  
  
Lewis reached into his pocket as they turned to go. The jingle of keys   
could be heard as he brought his hand back out. "Yep, the only vehicle   
I have total jurisdiction over is my command Humvee."  
  
Misato stopped dead in her tracks, then turned around quickly. Sure   
enough, the man was dangling a set of keys around his index finger.   
She became aware of the two children coming back alongside her, and   
could almost _feel_ their spirits rising.  
  
"You'd let us have that?" Misato asked, carefully.  
  
"No," Lewis said, smirking. "But I might be inclined to forget where I   
left the keys to it, if you'd answer a few questions." He began to   
twirl the keys around his finger, watching their eyes try to follow the   
circular motions.  
  
"What questions?" Misato asked.  
  
"What are those things?" Lewis asked, stopping his spinning motions and   
clenching a fist around the keys. "Those giant robots."  
  
"The artificial human Evangelion is an organic battle machine," Misato   
said, reciting from memory. "It's a living organism that synchronizes   
with a pilot's mind in order to operate."  
  
"Then what's piloting Big Blue? Not to mention these white ones you   
_say_ keep attacking you."  
  
"It's a long story," Shinji said. "But the white ones...we think have   
some old enemies of ours inside of them." Misato and Asuka nodded   
curtly at these words.  
  
"I'll have to wait to hear the whole story, won't I?" Lewis asked. He   
started spinning the keys around his finger again. "OK, last question.   
I've heard from a few of you people that these Evangely-whatevers are   
indestructible. 'Conventional weapons have no effect on an AT field,'   
they said. Well, conventional weapons are all I got, but I got a _lot_   
of them. So, just tell me straight out. If one of these robots   
decided to drop in on us, could we fight it off? Or would just be   
pretty much fucked?" As he finished, he clenched his fist around the   
keys again.  
  
Asuka looked down, remembering half-forgotten visions of battle. Evas   
were vulnerable, yes, but...  
  
"It's the latter," she said, firmly. "You wouldn't stand a chance."  
  
"Huh," Lewis said, turning around such that his back was to them.   
"Damn, but if I could believe you."  
  
Asuka's eyes widened in anger, as she took a step forwards. "Well, let   
me - "  
  
She was interrupted by a jangle of keys. Her eyes traced a moving   
object in midair, which Misato deftly caught as it reached her.  
  
"Be careful with that thing," Lewis said, casually. "Or I gotta   
explain what happened to it."  
  
All three of them felt shock, at first, then had smiles threatening to   
break out on their faces. Misato was the best at not showing hers.  
  
"Thank you," she said, nodding at the Major's back. Shinji and Asuka   
followed suit, moments later.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Lewis said, turning and picking up another knife. "One   
more thing: there's a video camera in the back of it. If you can get   
me real, undoctored footage of one of these white flying bastards   
attacking people, it might help convince a few people to let me be more   
of a help than I am now."  
  
Misato nodded. "You'll get it."  
  
"Good," Lewis said, waving them off. "Now get out of here, before I   
change my mind."  
  
All three of them nodded again, and left. Lewis's voice yelled out to   
them as they walked off, telling them where to find the truck. Once   
they were gone, he went back to practicing his aim. Now all he had to   
do was think of a decent story for how a military-grade vehicle had   
wandered off in the middle of the night. No problem.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: You can probably guess what comes next: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!!!   
MWA HA HA HA!!!  
  
For my fellow Americans, still locked into using pounds, 1 kilogram =   
2.2 pounds. So Lewis weighs approximatly 200 pounds.  
  
Oh yeah, and in regards to Shinji and Asuka (ahem) "having fun", stop   
thinking like the hormone-crazed pervert you are. I'd have said if   
they were having sex.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: July 22, 2001  
Version 1 Ended: August 21, 2001  
Version 2 Ended: September 23, 2001  
  
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com  
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei  
  
Thanks go to the Avatar of Dragonia, who shouldered the entire burden   
of prereading this particular chapter. 


	13. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
Foreword: Not much to say about this chapter, other than the huge mecha   
fight. But I won't give any of that away with this little note.   
  
Really, I just wanted to take this moment to thank the people who voted   
for me in the Tako Ball awards (all two of you). It was an honor to at   
least be nominated, and I'll try even harder to move up the ranks next   
year.   
  
And another convenient conversion factor: 1 kilometer = 0.6214 miles,   
so 15 kph = 9 mph.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
" " = speech   
^ ^ = thoughts   
_ _ = italics   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
Angels of Armageddon   
Author: Ryan Xavier   
Chapter 10: Oblivion Awaits   
  
Misato sat in the driver's seat, grumbling to herself about the   
situation.   
  
She was in an old station wagon, one of the few vehicles they'd been   
able to salvage for this trip. She sat in the middle of a small   
caravan: in front of her was a Jeep, and in front of that was the   
military Humvee they'd borrowed. Behind her was an SUV, and last in   
the line was the unmistakable form of Unit-00. The mech was easily   
keeping pace, watching through its unblinking cyclopean eye as its   
footsteps shook the ground at regular intervals.   
  
Of the vehicles, the station wagon easily had the smoothest ride.   
Unfortunately, that really only mattered on a paved road. Here, on the   
dirt plains, she'd have much preferred something like the Jeep, which   
Shigeru had appropriated. This car bounced everywhere, topping and   
bottoming out on every little bump. It was something like a roller   
coaster, minus the excitement. She was just left sick to her stomach.   
  
The same went for the other occupants of the car. Hikari looked quite   
green, in her seat next to Misato in the front passenger seat.   
  
"Getting second thoughts there, Hikari-chan?" Misato asked, flashing   
the girl a smile.   
  
Hikari did her best to smile back. "No, no," she said, slowly shaking   
her head. "I just...ah!" she cried out as the car flew over another   
bump, going up on two wheels for a moment. "Katsuragi-san!"   
  
"What?" Misato asked, innocently. "I'm just trying to keep up."   
  
"Keep up?" came Asuka's voice from the back seat. The girl shoved her   
way forwards, until her head was sticking between Misato and Hikari's.   
"You're practically in the Humvee's trunk as it _is_!"   
  
"That's the fun of it all," Misato said. She adjusted her sunglasses   
and grinned again, looking back to the land in front of them. "God, I   
forgot how much fun driving is."   
  
With an annoyed expression, Asuka looked at Hikari. "Are you suddenly   
worried we won't make it, too?"   
  
Hikari smiled. "Well, she's doing her best...urk..." she held her   
stomach as it threatened to vomit up everything she'd ever eaten.   
  
Accidentally - or perhaps not - Misato went over another small dip in   
the terrain, causing Asuka to fall back into her seat, by the window.   
The German girl rolled her eyes and looked out the window for a moment,   
trying to amuse herself with the terrain. It didn't work; there was   
nothing out there to see. Just an endless expanse of dirt, still red   
after all these years. As though it had been permanently stained with   
the blood of its former inhabitants.   
  
She looked over to her right, where Ariel sat in the middle seat. The   
white-haired girl was sitting there with her arms crossed over her   
chest, staring straight ahead. She was also humming a tune to herself,   
bringing some marginal background music to the otherwise quiet car.   
Asuka listened for a brief moment, just long enough to identify the   
song. When she did, she shuddered.   
  
"Could you stop?" she asked Ariel.   
  
Ariel stopped humming 'Halleluiah'. "Beg your pardon?" she asked,   
looking over at Asuka.   
  
"It's just...I don't like that song," Asuka said, quietly. "It's   
funny, though," she said, smiling bitterly. "I can't really remember   
_why_ I don't like it...but hearing it just gives me the chills. So   
could you stop?"   
  
Ariel blinked. "My apologies," she said. "I was simply trying to pass   
the time."   
  
"Yeah, I know," Asuka said. "How long have we been in this car,   
Misato? I'm going _crazy_ back here!"   
  
"I dunno," came the response. "Since sunrise, I know that much."   
  
Asuka just shook her head. The sun was now past its peak, and on its   
way back down to the horizon. It sure _felt_ like they'd been in the   
car since sunrise. Her legs felt numb, and her whole body was itching   
to just be able to _move_.   
  
"So what do you think of our intrepid driver's style?" Asuka asked,   
looking slantwise at Ariel.   
  
"It leaves much to be desired," the girl said, glancing over at Asuka   
for a brief moment. "But then again, so do the...oof..." she said, as   
a bump caused her to hit her head on the ceiling. "...the roads," she   
finished, rubbing her sore skull.   
  
"You know, I still don't quite understand," Asuka said, changing   
conversational tack. "Most of us have a reason to come along, I   
guess...but why're you here?"   
  
Ariel turned her head, this time looking Asuka in the eyes. "I'm   
trying to find a...friend I lost touch with. I don't think they are   
quite in their right mind."   
  
"They?" Asuka asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Not he or she?"   
  
"No," came the simple response, as Ariel looked away.   
  
Asuka lowered her voice and leaned in closer to Ariel. "Is it a guy?"   
she asked, grinning. "Some old flame you're looking for?"   
  
Ariel looked at the red-haired girl next to her. For a brief moment,   
her cherry blossom eyes betrayed a hint of sorrow, of deep injury and   
long suffering. It passed quickly, though, as the girl covered it up,   
again.   
  
"I just want to find them before they hurt themselves...or other   
people." she said, in a low voice. It didn't sound like she was   
talking to herself. It sounded more like she was whispering, for fear   
that if she raised her voice, she break down crying.   
  
Asuka looked at the other girl, confused. "Oh..." she said, slowly.   
Carefully, she took Ariel's hand. The white-haired girl flinched at   
the contact, a habit she seemed to have around Asuka. Asuka ignored   
it, and not for the first time, either.   
  
"We'll find..._them_," Asuka said, conspicuously emphasizing the last   
word as she looked at Ariel suspiciously. "And then we'll see what we   
can do."   
  
Ariel shook her head. "You don't understand..." she said, in an even   
lower voice than before.   
  
Asuka patted Ariel's hand, figuring out that it was better at this   
moment not to say anything to the other girl.   
  
But that still left her in silence. Boring, oppressive, silence.   
  
"Say, Hikari," Asuka said, turning her head to look at the front again,   
"why'd you bother to come along?"   
  
"Because my Touji is coming, too," came the cheerful response. As   
cheerful as one can be while sick to their stomach, that is. "Touji   
didn't want to be left out, he told me that much. So the only solution   
was for him to go. And I couldn't let him go alone, could I?"   
  
Asuka rolled her eyes and looked at Ariel. "She's got it bad," she   
said, switching over to German so that Hikari wouldn't be able to   
eavesdrop.   
  
Ariel looked at Asuka, not understanding. "What?" she asked,   
automatically changing languages, as well.   
  
"Her," Asuka said, tilting her head towards Hikari. "She's just   
_obsessed_ over that idiot Suzuhara."   
  
"Well, I can understand why," Ariel said. "It is rather obvious, I   
would think."   
  
"Yeah, yeah," Asuka said, waving off the comment. "Just a tip from me:   
don't ever get like that. Got it?"   
  
Ariel looked away, glancing off to her side, at the other window seat.   
There, sitting quietly looking out the window, was another reason for   
her rather bad mood during this trip: Rei Ayanami.   
  
"Yes, I understand," she said, still using German as she looked back to   
Asuka. "Or like...her," she added on, copying Asuka's head-tilt, this   
time aiming it at Rei.   
  
Asuka's eyes widened a little, and she blinked a few times. "Don't   
tell me...you could _tell_ she's caught up over Shin...uh...some guy?"   
  
"Yes, I could tell," Ariel said, doing her best to look casual. "I   
thought anyone could tell."   
  
"Not anyone," Asuka said, looking past Ariel and at the blue-haired   
girl. "She's pretty damn good at hiding it, you know."   
  
"I suppose so."   
  
"But not that it matters," Asuka said, haughtily turning up her nose.   
"Yes, that's another example of what _not_ to do. Don't ever let some   
guy control your life."   
  
"Ze...Rei lets a man control her?"   
  
"Are you kidding? She's a doll, Ariel," she said, clapping Ariel on   
the shoulder. "She doesn't know what to do with herself unless there's   
some _guy_ sitting around telling her what to do. First that Commander   
Ikari guy, now Kaoru and Shinji...I'd like to see what she'd do without   
someone to order her around."   
  
Ariel just smiled, laughing quietly at the private joke.   
  
"Ich wurde alles tun, um meinem Leben einen Sinn zu geben," Rei   
replied. 'I would do everything to find meaning in my life.' She   
looked away from the window, long enough to transfix both of the other   
girls with her cold, crimson-eyed gaze. "Just as I do now," she added,   
switching smoothly back over to Japanese.   
  
At that, she looked back out the window, resting her chin on one hand.   
A dead silence fell on the back seat of the car, as both of the other   
girls turned a few shades redder in embarassment. Misato occasionally   
called over her shoulder to ask how they were doing, but all she got   
was a monosyllabic answer.   
  
Rei didn't pay any attention to them. She continued staring out the   
glass, out at the Humvee, which was now just a little ahead of them,   
and to the side. She could just manage to see in through the window of   
the truck, and was _just_ able to see...   
  
***   
  
Shinji shifted a little in his seat as he felt an itch between his   
shoulders. It only lasted a moment, though.   
  
"Something wrong, Shinji-kun?" Kaoru asked, leaning forwards and   
looking over Shinji's shoulder.   
  
"No...nothing's wrong, Kaoru-kun," Shinji said, quietly. He let out a   
slow breath and went back to staring straight ahead. ^Why can't we   
just _be_ there,^ he thought, impatiently. It was going to happen, he   
could feel it. Another Eva was going to return to life. The sooner   
they got there, the better. By going to the Eva instead of the other   
way around, they might be able to avoid more deaths.   
  
Shinji closed his eyes, as the images of the cleanup at the American   
plane returned unbidden to his mind. He'd seen the bloody, broken   
bodies of the crew being pulled out. He'd seen them thrown off to the   
side, covered by a simple tarp so people wouldn't have to look. And   
then there'd been the others, the people who'd been part of his camp,   
their lives crushed underneath the feet of uncaring monsters.   
  
^Not again,^ he promised himself. ^I can't let that happen. Not   
again.^ To do so would mean a failure as a leader. Not to mention as   
a human being.   
  
In the back of the truck, someone else was highly focused on preserving   
life. But as opposed to making quiet promises, she was making   
preparations. This person, otherwise known as Ritsuko Akagi, was   
busily working on some rather complex electronic equipment.   
  
Major Lewis had told them that they would find a video camera in the   
back of the truck. That much was true; a little hand-held digital   
video camera _had_ been there. But also with it had been an assortment   
of electronics and scanners, the type Ritsuko had said could be easily   
modified to detect AT fields. It was no surprise the Americans had had   
such equipment, but Shinji was still wondering whether or not it was an   
accident that Lewis had left that gear in his truck for them to find.   
  
Ritsuko was currently typing on a laptop that had been back there. Her   
fingers were moving quickly, though not as quickly as they'd been able   
to back before Third Impact. Every few minutes, she would mutter to   
herself that she was out of practice with this sort of thing.   
  
"How's it going, Ritsu-chan?" Maya asked from the driver's seat.   
Shinji turned to look at the woman, and still couldn't quite surpress a   
smile. Maya couldn't have looked more out of place sitting behind the   
wheel of the enormous Humvee. Not only did it handle like a bus, the   
steering wheel was on the wrong side. She'd spent the first few hours   
with a very strained expression on her face, as though it were all she   
could do not to run the vehicle off a cliff.   
  
"I'm making progress," Ritsuko's voice called back across the cabin.   
"I should be done writing the software by the time we stop to make   
camp. Then we'll just have to make the appropriate modifications to   
the hardware."   
  
"OK," the other woman said, before going back to watching the ground in   
front of them, her knuckles turning white on the steering wheel.   
Apparently she still hadn't gotten over her nervousness.   
  
"So we'll really be able to detect the Eva?" Shinji asked, still   
incredulous over their good fortune at finding that equipment.   
  
"With a ninety percent certainty," Ritsuko replied, not looking up from   
what she was doing. "It won't be as reliable as the equipment at NERV,   
but it will suffice."   
  
"Will you be able to tell when it activates? The Eva, I mean."   
  
"I don't know, Ikari," Ritsuko bit out. "Just let me do my job."   
  
Shinji blinked, drawing back a little. "Sorry," he mumbled. He   
twisted in his seat, turning around to look at Kaoru, sitting behind   
him. "Kaoru-kun..." he said.   
  
"Yes?" Kaoru said, looking at him with an interested expression on his   
face.   
  
"Kaoru-kun...I've been thinking. The last two Evas that Unit-00   
destroyed exploded when it crushed their cores, right?"   
  
"To an extent, that is what happened, Shinji-kun. But remember these   
'explosions' had little destructive force."   
  
"Well, yeah," Shinji said, clenching one hand, out of Kaoru's view.   
"But I was just thinking...maybe we just got lucky. What if the next   
one really _does_ explode when you crush the core?"   
  
Kaoru cocked his head, thinking. "I am not certain that would happen,   
Shinji-kun," he answered. "The energy from the critical S2 reactions   
has been siphoned off efficiently in both cases. There is no reason it   
would not happen again."   
  
"Yeah..." Shinji said, clenching his fist again. "But I still don't   
know. Look, Kaoru-kun, if you have to kill it, don't smash its core.   
I'm afraid if you do...we'd all end up losing."   
  
Kaoru shrugged. "I can understand your concern, Shinji-kun. Ritsuko-   
san has told me of the output in a critical S2 reaction. But I still   
do not believe - "   
  
"Just try to do it, Kaoru-kun," Shinji said, more firmly. "I don't   
want you and Ayanami taking risks when you don't have to."   
  
Kaoru blinked at being cut off, then nodded slowly. "Very well,   
Shinji-kun. I can try, at least. I suppose there are ways..." he   
said, his brow furrowing in thought.   
  
"And, if you can..." Shinji continued, "if you can...stop Ayanami from   
using the Dummy plug. I've told her not to use it, but..." he shook   
his head. "She doesn't listen to me. I just...don't understand her."   
  
"She is trying to win the battle, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said, plainly.   
Shinji only shook his head again, in response. "Well..." Kaoru said,   
slightly unsettled, "...I will try, Shinji-kun. And..." he said,   
pausing to make sure he had Shinji's attention, "why don't you call her   
Rei?"   
  
"Huh? Oh, sorry," Shinji mumbled. "I'm just used to calling her   
Ayanami. It was really weird, when she asked me...well, not _asked_   
me, but when she said I could call her Rei if I wanted."   
  
Kaoru nodded, a brief smile coming to his lips. "It was shocking to   
hear she thought you enough of a friend to use her first name?"   
  
"Yeah," Shinji said, nodding. "And she still calls me 'Ikari-kun', so   
it feels a little weird calling her Rei, like that."   
  
"I could work on that," Kaoru mumbled to himself.   
  
"What?" Shinji asked, not quite hearing his friend.   
  
"Nothing, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said, smiling again. "How much longer   
until we stop?"   
  
"Not much," Shinji said, looking out the window to try and gauge where   
the sun was. "I think...well, I _hope_ we can get there by nightfall."   
  
"Very well."   
  
***   
  
"Are you quite sure about this, Katsuragi-san?" Hikari asked nervously.   
  
"Ah, I knew this day would come eventually," Misato replied casually.   
  
"But...but I..."   
  
"Quiet, Hikari," Asuka snapped, as she sat down in the driver's seat of   
the car.   
  
"Just give her a chance, girls," Misato said, in a soothing voice. "I   
need a break from driving, anyway."   
  
"Yeah, and _I_ volunteered," Asuka said, proudly. "Where're you gonna   
find someone more qualified than me to take over?   
  
Rei and Ariel both raised their hands.   
  
"Shut up," Asuka bit out, looking away from them. "If I can drive an   
Eva, then this'll be easy." With that, she put the keys into the   
ignition.   
  
"Unit-02 was responsible for a great degree of property damage during   
its operational time," Rei began to recite, as though reading from a   
report. "With damages exceeding 450 million - "   
  
"I said shut _up_!" Asuka hissed.   
  
"Rei, give her a chance, at least," Misato said, patting the pale   
girl's hand. "It's not like she's driving on the highway or anything."   
  
Rei let out a small sigh, then looked away, giving her quiet consent to   
let Asuka try.   
  
"Are you _sure_ you want to be back there, Katsuragi-san?" Hikari   
asked, looking over her shoulder, into the back seat.   
  
Misato lurched as Asuka snapped the transmission into Drive and started   
nudging the gas pedal. "No, it's OK, Hikari-chan. You should get the   
front seat, anyway." She leaned back. "And it gives me a chance to   
get to know these two girls back here," she added, glancing at Ariel   
and Rei on either side of her. She was greeted by two icy cold stares,   
one from a set of blood red eyes and another from a set of rosy pink   
eyes.   
  
Misato broke a sweat, but shook it off quickly. "All right, you're   
doing great now, Asuka. Just be careful with the gas..."   
  
"Ha! Like I said, this is easy," Asuka commented haughtily. She   
played with the steering wheel, sending them through a lazy, 15 kph   
slalom which succeeded in shoving Misato alternately against Rei, then   
Ariel, with a loud series of 'oofs' from all three of the women.   
  
Asuka looked back down in front of them. "Ah, crap, I'm going too   
slow. Everyone's leaving us behind."   
  
"It's OK, we can catch up later," Misato said.   
  
"Screw that," Asuka replied. "Betcha I can get up to them _now_."   
  
This claim was followed shortly by the sound of four seatbelts clicking   
into place.   
  
"Shut up!" Asuka snapped, again. "Now, I guess I just hit the gas like   
this..."   
  
"Asuka, why don't you just let me...AAAAAAAHHHH!!!"   
  
***   
  
It was quite late by the time they finally reached their target. The   
sun had long set, and the stars were shining brightly, billions of   
lights so like the fireflies from the other night, yet at the same time   
so different.   
  
Several hundred meters from the shoreline, the Humvee ground to a halt,   
its tires skidding slightly on the dirt as its tremendous mass was   
forced to stop. Its engine powered down, but its headlights stayed on,   
lighting up the darkness ahead of them.   
  
The black SUV and the open-top Jeep came in right alongside each other,   
one stopping on either side of the Humvee, forming a very rough line of   
vehicles.   
  
Kensuke hopped out of the Jeep, landing on his feet and kneeling down,   
letting himself catch his breath before standing up. "Glad _that's_   
over," he said.   
  
"No kiddin'," Touji said, jumping out the other side. "Oh, my achin'   
ass," he said, rubbing the afflicted body part.   
  
Shigeru just laughed from his position in the Jeep's driver's seat, and   
got out as well, stretching. The SUV unloaded as well, dispatching a   
few other volunteers from the camp.   
  
All four of the Humvee's doors opened at once, and the occupants got   
out. Ritsuko got out of the driver's seat; when they'd stopped for a   
few minutes some time ago, most of the vehicles had changed drivers.   
Shinji, Kaoru, and Maya got out of their respective seats. Ritsuko,   
Maya, and a moment later Shigeru as well, went around to the back of   
the Humvee and began unloading the equipment.   
  
Shinji got around to the Jeep and met with his friends. "How're you   
guys doing?" he asked, tiredly.   
  
"Ah, I'll live," Touji said, smirking.   
  
"Yeah, same here," Kensuke said. Then he looked up at the vehicles and   
started pointing, tapping the air where each truck was. His lips moved   
quietly, mouthing the numbers 'one, two, three...'   
  
"Hey, guys," he said. "Didn't we leave with _four_ vehicles?"   
  
"Come to think of it..." Shinji said, looking back at the three trucks,   
"Yes. Where's the car?"   
  
All three boys began to look around nervously, not wanting to get too   
worked up over something that could turn out to not be worth the   
effort. But two of them couldn't help from worrying a little: some of   
the most important women in their lives were in that car.   
  
"Tell you what, I'll look over here," Touji said. "That Misato   
probably just took a wrong turn...or somethin'."   
  
"Uh...yeah," Shinji said. "I'll look over here, then."   
  
The boys split up. Kensuke watched them go in separate directions, and   
shrugged, sighing as he leaned against the side of the Jeep.   
  
Touji had just started to walk around behind the Humvee when he heard   
the noise of four tires scraping on loose dirt. He looked up just in   
time to see a pair of headlights coming straight at him.   
  
Cursing, he jumped backwards, losing his balance and falling onto his   
back. In front of him, a car shot by at a breakneck speed, sending up   
a cloud of dirt behind it.   
  
He got to his feet and ran back behind the Jeep. He was soon joined by   
Shinji who, though he hadn't been nearly hit, had still noticed the   
arrival.   
  
The car did a rather impressive one-eighty, its tires skidding noisily,   
before it finally halted, crashing back down onto its suspension with a   
loud 'thunk'. After bouncing on its springs for a few seconds, it   
finally fell still, its engine going silent. Even its headlights shut   
down.   
  
Touji and Shinji approached, cautiously. Behind them, Shigeru and a   
few of the men from the SUV picked up some high-powered flashlights and   
began shining them off in the direction of the car, forming makeshift   
spotlights for the two boys.   
  
The back two doors on the car opened first. Out the left side came   
Rei, and out the right came Ariel. Both looked a little ruffled, but   
more out of the effects of being thrown around than out of actually   
being scared. Both calmly brushed themselves off and straightened out,   
Ariel taking a few moments to brush her hair out of her eyes.   
  
"Hey...uh...you!" Touji called out to Ariel, not quite remembering her   
name at the moment. "What happened?"   
  
Ariel looked at him, a half-second passing before she reacted. One   
corner of her mouth quirked upwards, as she recognized Touji. She   
opened her mouth to speak when -   
  
"Well _excuse_ me!" Asuka said, popping out of the driver's side door.   
"I was just trying to catch up, you wimps!"   
  
Shinji thought he could hear some voices from inside the car, but it   
was difficult to tell.   
  
"Well, at least we're here in one piece!" Asuka shouted back,   
apparently in response, before slamming the door so hard the car rocked   
on its suspension.   
  
"Asuka!" Shinji called out to the girl, closing the distance and coming   
up to her. "What happened?"   
  
"Hmph," Asuka said, turning up her nose. "I just volunteered to   
relieve Misato at the break, that's all."   
  
Shinji blinked. "Uh...I didn't know you knew how to drive."   
  
"I learned!" Asuka explained, exasperated. "C'mon, it's not like I was   
going to run it off the road!" She then fell into a string of muttered   
German curses.   
  
"Uh huh..." Shinji said, blinking again. "Well, is everyone all   
right?"   
  
Asuka just glared at him for a moment, then gestured sharply at the   
car. Shinji looked, in time to see Rei helping a rather pale Hikari   
out of the passenger seat, while Ariel was almost literally dragging   
Misato out of the back.   
  
"Well...OK," Shinji said, nervously. "C'mon," he said, putting one arm   
around Asuka's waist and leading her back towards the other vehicles.   
"Maybe we can get dinner."   
  
"Better be worth the trouble, Shinji-chan," came the reply, nearly   
growled out from the anger she was feeling.   
  
"Uh...we'll see, OK?"   
  
Touji, seeing that Hikari, though shaken, was still standing, went to   
go help the other girl get Misato out. Ariel spared him a brief   
glance, then shifted her grip, letting Touji take Misato's right arm   
while she took the left. Together, they managed to support the older   
woman as she stepped out of the car.   
  
Misato was just staring off into space, mumbling to herself. "Never   
should have...never let Asuka drive, never ever..."   
  
"OK, it's alright, Misato," Touji said, patting her on the arm.   
"You're all in one piece."   
  
"Yes, yes," Misato said, nodding. She kept nodding for several seconds   
after she'd stopped talking. "Need...beer..."   
  
"Can you handle this?" Touji asked, glancing over at the other girl.   
  
"I can take Katsuragi to the camp, if that is what you're asking,"   
Ariel replied, sizing him up with her eyes.   
  
"Right..." Touji said, blinking. "Thanks. Uh...what's your name   
again?"   
  
"Ni," Ariel replied. "Ariel Ni." She then took Misato's hand and   
started leading the other woman off towards the trucks.   
  
"Well, thanks then!" Touji called after her. He didn't get a response.   
  
"Strange girl," he mumbled to himself, before he went over to the other   
side of the car.   
  
Hikari was leaning against the side of the car, trying to take deep   
breaths to calm herself. She was staring at the ground a few   
centimeters in front of her feet, apparently to reassure herself that   
yes, she had stopped moving. One hand was supporting her ever-growing   
stomach. The other, however, was clutching the limp hand of Rei   
Ayanami.   
  
Rei was standing there calmly, her other arm hanging by her side. She   
was looking unblinkingly at Hikari, letting the other girl calm down.   
The darkness was hiding her face, masking her expression with shadows.   
Touji stood there, frozen, at the sight. For a brief moment, he wished   
that Kensuke were here, with his old camera. There was no way anyone   
was ever going to believe this.   
  
Rei was the first to break the moment, looking away from Hikari. As   
the light from one of the flashlights caught the girl's face, Touji   
blinked. Rei didn't have her customary blank expression on, right now.   
Rather, she almost looked a little...confused. As though, at the   
moment, she didn't know what to say or do. Touji found this to be more   
than a little unsettling.   
  
But as Rei saw Touji, her expression snapped back to the customary   
emotionless mask. "Suzuhara-kun," she said, simply.   
  
Hikari looked up, at Rei's soft utterance. It didn't take her long to   
see who Rei was looking at. "Touji!" she called out, running over to   
the boy.   
  
Touji gave her a hug as she came up to him. "It was horrible..."   
Hikari muttered. "Listen to me...don't _ever_ let Asuka drive you   
anywhere."   
  
"Right," Touji said, nodding. "Tell you what, why don't we head back   
and get some dinner?"   
  
Hikari nodded, squeezing Touji up against her one last time before   
releasing him. She looked over her shoulder, at Rei. The blue-haired   
girl had already turned to leave.   
  
"Hey, Ayanami..." she called after the girl. Rei didn't say anything,   
or even turn around. The only indication that she'd heard Hikari was   
that she stopped walking.   
  
"Ayanami, do you want to join us?" Hikari asked, only half-sure that   
Rei was listening. "I mean...I'm just asking."   
  
_Now_ Rei turned her head. But she did not immediately look at Hikari.   
Rather, her gaze tracked back to the trucks, not too far away. There,   
she could see Shinji already sitting down on a folding chair that had   
been unloaded from the SUV. Preparations were being made for a fire.   
The boy looked happy, as did Asuka, sitting by his side. Seeing this,   
Rei's eyes softened, for a split second.   
  
Rei turned around, so that she was finally facing Hikari. "Very well,   
Horaki-san," she said, in the same soft monotone.   
  
"All right then," Hikari said, nodding. "C'mon, Touji-chan."   
  
She started walking, holding Touji's hand as they headed over to the   
others. Rei trailed along behind.   
  
***   
  
It took a while, but they finally got a small fire started, using some   
of the kindling they'd brought along. Most of the people who'd come   
along had something to do; Ritsuko and Maya were busily modifying the   
equipment they had to track AT fields, while Shigeru and some of the   
men were looking under the hoods of the trucks and car, trying to make   
sure they'd keep running long enough to get them back home. Misato   
occasionally checked on their progress, but currently she was keeping   
Ritsuko and Maya company.   
  
The children, however, were taking a brief respite from the work,   
trying to rest after the day's events. They all had their excuses:   
Shinji and Asuka were supposed to delegate work, Kaoru and Rei had to   
rest in case they needed to use the Eva. Touji, for his part, had to   
look after Hikari. Ariel had not given a reason for why she was there,   
but no one had taken the trouble to ask her to help out with anything.   
Kensuke, left as the only one without a decent excuse, was doing his   
best to help out Shigeru and the others.   
  
Rei sat, legs curled up her her chest with her arms wrapped around her   
legs. In front of her, Hikari was talking almost continuously, leaving   
Touji to sit by quietly, not wanting to interrupt.   
  
"...and me and my sisters liked camping out on the weekends," Hikari   
was saying. "So this really isn't too bad. Actually, it's better. Me   
and my sisters never brought along those big lights."   
  
"Or an Eva," Touji commented.   
  
Hikari laughed sweetly. "Yeah, that," she said.   
  
Rei might have been paying attention to the chatter, but it was   
difficult to be sure. Hikari kept talking, unable to get rid of the   
feeling that maybe she was boring the blue haired girl. Rei wasn't   
making eye contact, instead occasionally sipping from the cup of broth   
that sat steaming next to her.   
  
Hikari paused, taking a drink from her own cup. Rei blinked once, but   
this didn't necessarily mean anything. Her brow furrowing, Hikari   
decided to see if Rei had actually been listening while she'd been   
rambling on.   
  
"So how about you, Ayanami?" Hikari asked. "What do you think of   
living outdoors?"   
  
"It is..." Rei began immediately, showing that, much as she'd done back   
in school, she'd been listening, even if she'd seemed disinterested.   
However, she trailed off, searching for a word. "...bearable," she   
finished.   
  
"Bearable?" Hikari asked, confused. "Well, I guess so. Just as long   
as you have something to keep you warm."   
  
Rei nodded, sparing Hikari a brief glance before looking back off into space.   
  
"Ayanami..." Hikari began again. "Or Rei...can I call you Rei?"   
  
"If you wish."   
  
Hikari blinked. "Well, Rei...you've been letting me carry on. Do you   
want to say anything? I mean, what are you thinking about? You're   
always so quiet, like you're lost in thought, or...something."   
  
Rei did nothing; she didn't even turn her head to look at the other   
girl.   
  
^Am I not worth the trouble of answering?^ Hikari wondered, looking at   
the other girl. "Rei?"   
  
"I am planning for the battle," Rei said, turning her head even further   
away.   
  
Hikari blinked. "Is that all you think about, Rei?" she said, quietly.   
  
Again, no response from the blue-haired girl. She turned her head to   
look at Shinji and the others, talking on the other side of the fire.   
She closed her eyes and replied.   
  
"It is all I have," she said, quietly. She opened her eyes again, as   
though coming to some kind of internal decision. "Perhaps all I can   
have."   
  
"Rei..." Hikari said, at a loss for words.   
  
"You gotta lighten up, Ayanami," Touji said, hearing Hikari trail off.   
"There's got to be something other than Evas that you can think about."   
  
Rei slowly turned her head, looking Touji in the eye. To his credit,   
the boy didn't flinch under her gaze. Rei regarded him carefully,   
cocking her head to one side.   
  
Touji managed a half-smile. "_That_'s better, right there, Ayanami.   
Why don't you look at someone when they're talking to you?"   
  
"It has never occurred to me to do so, Suzuhara-kun."   
  
"OK..." Touji replied, looking away and up into the sky as he was   
caught off-guard by the reply.   
  
"It's just a polite thing to do," Hikari added, seeing Touji suddenly   
start wanting out of this conversation. She threw the boy a brief   
glare for backing out so quickly, making him draw in upon himself a   
bit.   
  
Satisified that Touji was properly chastised, she looked back to Rei.   
"Tell you what, Rei...why don't you start calling me by my first name?"   
  
"Why?"   
  
"Well...I've known you for a while. And you said I can call you Rei."   
  
"Yes. I suppose I will try...Hikari-san."   
  
^Good enough for a start,^ Hikari thought, rolling her eyes at the   
'-san'. ^Now I wonder if my Touji would let Rei call him - ^   
  
"And I guess you might as well use my first name, too," Touji said,   
beating Hikari to the punch.   
  
"I see..." Rei said, nodding. "And may I use the first names of   
others, as well?"   
  
Touji put on an annoyed expression. "This isn't a briefing, Rei. But   
yeah. People like Kensuke, Misato, and I guess Ariel...she seems to   
know you, but I dunno why. Go ahead. They won't mind."   
  
Rei again fell silent, leaning back as she fell into her thoughts.   
After a moment, she mouthed the word, 'Shinji'.   
  
Hikari and Touji looked at each other.   
  
"Rei?" Hikari asked. "Are you..._blushing_?"   
  
***   
  
Shinji spared Rei a brief glance, having to look directly through the   
fire in order to get even a momentary glance. Obscured by the bright,   
dancing tounges of flame, the mysterious blue-haired girl could only   
just barely be seen. But then a brief night wind blew down, dulling   
the flames with its short-lived caress long enough for him to get a   
better view. He could see her listening patiently to Hikari, as she   
talked about who-knew-what. Shinji blinked, however, as he saw Rei's   
lips move. Was Rei Ayanami having an actual _conversation_? With   
someone who's last name wasn't Ikari?   
  
"Something wrong, Shinji-kun?" Kaoru asked, from his position next to   
Shinji.   
  
Shinji leaned back, up against the tire of the Jeep sitting behind him.   
It was uncomfortable, but still better than lying on the ground like   
Kaoru was. Still, the pale boy looked quite relaxed, his fingers laced   
behind his head as he stared up at the familiar ceiling of the stars.   
  
"Nothing much, Kaoru-kun," Shinji sighed out. "I'm just wondering why   
Ayanam...Rei is sitting over there," he said, stumbling over her name.   
"It's like she prefers being alone."   
  
"Not true," Kaoru said, closing his eyes. "She simply prefers not to   
deal with people."   
  
Shinji blinked. "What's the difference?"   
  
Kaoru smiled, though he kept his eyes shut. "It is difficult to   
explain, Shinji-kun," he said. "Perhaps later."   
  
"All right."   
  
Shinji let himself relax, as best as one can while sitting on hard   
ground and leaning against a tire. He looked off to his right. There,   
Asuka and Ariel were sitting close to the fire, warming their hands by   
the flames. They were having a conversation, though Asuka was doing   
most of the talking. Shinji couldn't understand a word they were   
saying; it was almost enough to make him wish he'd studied German.   
Still, he was able to smile, seeing this.   
  
^Good to see Asuka still knows how to make friends,^ he thought. ^I   
wonder if I know how.^   
  
An unwanted memory surfaced. A memory of the dead, the shattered   
bodies from the last battle.   
  
^I wonder if I have the right to make friends.^   
  
"Hmm..." Kaoru said, quietly.   
  
Shinji, his face a little sullen, turned to look back at the boy lying   
next to him. Kaoru was in the same position as before, only now his   
eyes were open, glittering with reflected light from the stars. "What   
is it?" Shinji asked him.   
  
"The sky," Kaoru said, still in a quiet, almost awed voice. "So many   
of the Lilum say it is something unattainable. Heaven, so to speak."   
  
Shinji looked up, as well, glad to find something to take his mind off   
of his current thoughts. He was greeted by the infinite expanse of   
celestial light, in the form of uncountable points of flickering   
illumination, clusters of life in unrelenting darkness.   
  
"It's nice to think such a place exists," Shinji commented. "To think   
there's a better place to go after death."   
  
Kaoru glanced at Shinji. For a moment, his eyes were quite serious, as   
cold and calculating as Rei's ever had been. "I suppose so," he said.   
His eyes turned again, this time looking across the ground, over at   
Ariel. "Though some of us do not belong there. They...have nowhere to   
go, after they meet their end."   
  
Shinji blinked, not noticing where Kaoru was looking, because he was   
still looking up at the night sky. "That's a sad thing to think,   
Kaoru-kun."   
  
"Well," Kaoru sighed out, "it is just idle wondering, I suppose. The   
result of too much fatigue." He paused for a moment, so long that   
Shinji began to wonder if his friend had decided to go to sleep. But   
then he spoke again:   
  
"Shinji-kun, look at the moon," Kaoru said, pointing over at a part of   
the sky off in the distance.   
  
Shinji followed Kaoru's finger, until he saw the white, cratered disc   
of the moon, the huge glowing orb, easily the brightest in the sky.   
  
"Beautiful," Shinji said, simply.   
  
Kaoru nodded. "Indeed. There are a few things in life that are worth   
being patient for. Such as the sight of a full moon at night."   
  
Shinji nodded. "Or a sunrise."   
  
Kaoru glanced over at the other boy for a moment. "I suppose," he   
sighed out. "It is merely a matter of timing, in the end. Where you   
are and what you are doing when the time comes. But for now...the moon   
is there for us."   
  
"Hm," Shinji said, looking up at the heavenly object.   
  
But even as he watched, Shinji felt something happen. As though   
something in the back of his head physically shifted around. Then, the   
moon turned black, like a blinking eye, becoming so dark that it seemed   
to pull in all around it, standing out even from the darkness of the   
night sky. Streaks of white appeared on its surface, forming a twisted   
zebra pattern on the previously white orb.   
  
And then the blackness was upon him, under him. It pulled him down, in   
a slow but inexorable pull, sucking him into its impenetrable depths.   
He reached out, trying to grab onto something solid, but nothing could   
be found. Shinji's heart accelerated, as he tried to scream. But that   
only let the blackness flow into his mouth, suffocating him as water   
suffocates a drowning man. No one could hear him, even as he finally   
sank into the all-consuming darkness.   
  
And then he returned to himself.   
  
He blinked as the dream ended. A split-second passed before the cold   
set in. Shinji hugged himself, feeling as though, just as his body had   
been pulled away in the dream, all his warmth had been taken in the   
real world. He shuddered, half-expecting to be able to see his breath   
as he sighed.   
  
He looked to his side, to see Kaoru was also shivering. Suddenly   
becoming aware of his pulse ringing in his ears, he looked over to   
Asuka. Then Rei and Touji. They were all shivering, as though struck   
by a lance of pure ice.   
  
He was on his feet almost instantly. He looked down at Kaoru, who was   
also getting up. A look of resolve was suddenly apparent on the pale   
boy's face, a look which Shinji somehow knew would be on his own face.   
  
"Did you feel that?" Shinji asked. Kaoru nodded once. It was all he   
needed.   
  
Shinji looked around, to see Asuka, Touji, and Rei also on their feet,   
standing stock-still as they looked at him. Without a thought, he took   
off, running towards one end of the line of trucks. The other four   
children followed closely behind, keeping pace as best they could.   
  
Ariel was left alone, with no company save the crackling fire. She had   
remained sitting the whole time, her hands resting on her crossed   
ankles. Several moments after the Children had left, she let out a   
slow breath. Finally, she looked up, over at the point in space where   
she could hear the tide slowly crashing. In a voice so quiet she could   
barely even hear herself, she spoke a single word:   
  
"Leliel."   
  
***   
  
Misato yawned loudly as the night dragged on. In front of her, Ritsuko   
sat in a simple folding chair, typing on a laptop.   
  
"What I wouldn't give for a coffee," Misato said, grinning.   
  
"Indeed," Ritsuko said, not looking up. "Even _your_ coffee would make   
this easier."   
  
Misato bristled a little at the comment, but then grinned again. "So   
how's it going, Ritsu?"   
  
"As well as can be expected," the blonde doctor replied. "I've   
calibrated the equipment with Unit-00's AT field, but that should not   
be a problem. AT fields all operate on the same band of wavelengths."   
  
"Always the scholar," Misato commented. She picked up a nearby   
notebook, leafing through it and glancing over the circuit diagrams.   
"I could never understand this stuff."   
  
"We all have our talents, Misato," Ritsuko said, glancing at her old   
friend. She then went back to typing. "If anything, you keep this   
from becoming dull."   
  
"Heh," Misato said, quietly. "Yeah, what would you do without me?"   
  
Ritsuko would have eventually come up with a reply, but she was cut off   
by three pounding sets of footsteps. Both women looked up in time to   
see Shinji, Asuka, and Rei skid to respective halts not far from them.   
  
"Whoa!" Misato said, holding up her hands. "Where's the fire, Shinji-   
kun?"   
  
"Ritsuko-san!" Shinji said, breathless. "Ritsuko-san, can you scan for   
AT fields yet?"   
  
"I suppose so," Ritsuko said, giving Shinji an odd look. "Why?"   
  
"Do it," Shinji said, his voice firm. "Do it quickly. I think...oh,   
God..."   
  
Misato's eyes narrowed as something clicked in her mind. "You better   
do it, Ritsu," she said, looking over at the doctor.   
  
Ritsuko nodded slowly and started typing. "It is not fully calibrated   
yet, but I can still do a coarse measurement..." she explained. "And   
here we are..." she said. "Interesting."   
  
Shinji and Asuka were by Ritsuko's side in a heartbeat. "What is it?"   
Shinji asked, worried. "Do you detect something?"   
  
"It's rather garbled, but there is definitely a blue pattern out   
there," Ritsuko said, her brow furrowing as she typed in another line   
of commands. "Epicenter at..." she trailed off. "...two hundred   
meters off the coastline," she finished, quietly.   
  
"It is awake," Rei said, addressing the group. She looked up at Shinji   
and Asuka. "We felt it."   
  
"All right then," Misato said, standing up quickly. She was visibly   
trying to hide the fact that she was just as scared as the three   
children. "We knew this might happen. OK, get Nagisa. Rei, you and   
him go get Unit-00, and - "   
  
"Misato."   
  
Misato looked down, at Ritsuko, who was still sitting, staring at her   
laptop. "Misato, this is..." she said, shaking her head.   
  
"What is it?" the former Major asked, coming around and standing   
between Shinji and Asuka to look over Ritsuko's shoulder. She could   
read the screen. Though it had windows open for the graphs of AT field   
strengths and wavelengths, they all read flat lines. Another window   
was open, reading a simple message: SIGNAL LOST.   
  
"What?" Misato asked, confused.   
  
"The pattern is gone," Ritsuko explained. "It didn't just change   
wavelength...I would have been able to tell. It simply disappeared."   
  
"Shinji-kun!" came Kaoru's voice, from the Humvee.   
  
Shinji excused himself and walked around to the truck. There, Kaoru   
and Touji were standing, working some of the large floodlights they'd   
used earlier.   
  
"What is it, Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked.   
  
"Look," Kaoru said, simply. He aimed the light out over the sea of   
LCL. Shinji looked. His eyes went wide, a moment later. Where Kaoru   
was aiming, just hours ago, there had been the huge, decapitated,   
winged form of a petrified MP Eva, standing silent vigil over the   
warped world. But now...   
  
"Gone?" Shinji asked, incredulous.   
  
***   
  
"I still just can't believe it," Asuka was saying, the next day. "How   
could that happen? How could we just _lose_ a goddamn _Eva_?"   
  
She was currently sitting in the Jeep, though not in the driver's seat.   
Shigeru had appropriated that position, much to the relief of the other   
people in the Jeep.   
  
"I don't know," Shinji said, from his position in the back. "Not only   
that, but how can we _keep_ losing it?"   
  
The Humvee was riding in front of them. Though they couldn't see from   
where they were, Ritsuko and Maya were sitting in the back of the   
truck, operating the scanning equipment to the best of their ability as   
they bounced over the rough terrain. After a sleepless night, the blue   
pattern had appeared again, kilometers away from their position. The   
whole group had packed up in record time, and gone out to track down   
the pattern, only to have it vanish as they approached. It had   
appeared again, once more several kilometers away. They'd followed it,   
only to have the same thing happen. Over and over again.   
  
Now, the day was beginning to drag on. The sun had passed its apex   
some time ago, and was beginning to crawl back down the sky. The heat   
was oppressive, radiating off the ground and the hot metal of the   
vehicles. Sweat was beginning to roll down everyone's face, making   
their clothes stick to their bodies and their hair hang down in their   
eyes.   
  
"This sucks," Asuka commented, lifting up her hair to try and let out   
some of the heat. "Why won't this thing just stay _still_? Making us   
play hide-and-seek with it. What a dumb Eva..."   
  
Shinji shook his head, not knowing what to say. Looking to see if   
anyone else had an answer, he looked off to his side, to where Ariel   
sat. The white-haired girl was sitting quietly, one arm resting on the   
side of the Jeep while she stared straight ahead. She was wearing a   
set of goggles she'd found in the Humvee to protect her eyes from the   
dust they were kicking up in their passage, but other than that, she   
was just as bad off as the rest of them.   
  
Except for two individuals. Shinji turned around, looking at Unit-00   
following the convoy as they traveled. Rei and Kaoru were sitting on   
its shoulders, both to be prepared for if they had to engage the enemy,   
and also to free up extra space in the already-cramped vehicles.   
  
"Perhaps it is playing with us," Ariel commented, offhandedly.   
  
"What was that?" Shinji asked the girl.   
  
Ariel turned to look at him, one corner of her mouth quirking as their   
eyes met. "It is moving almost as though it knows of our position.   
Perhaps it is merely testing our patience, waiting for us to make a   
mistake." She shrugged. "It is just an idle thought."   
  
"It could be right, though," Asuka commented, glancing over her   
shoulder at the other girl. "Hey Shinji-chan, didn't those last two   
Evas target Unit-00?"   
  
"Actually, the black one went after Touji," Shinji said, meekly.   
  
"Yeah, yeah," Asuka said, waving him off. "But I mean...they _did_   
come to us. Maybe instead of driving around like idiots, we should   
just sit down and wait it out."   
  
Shinji thought it over. "Unless it decides to head back to the   
settlement," he said. "Who's to say those last two were just targeting   
Unit-00?"   
  
"Baka," Asuka said, bopping Shinji on the knee. "It's big, it's   
strong, and it has an AT field. If I was gonna attack someone, I'd   
want to take out their big guns first, so they couldn't fight back."   
  
"Maybe," Shinji said, still not convinced.   
  
"Good enough for me," Asuka said. She pulled a radio out of a pack at   
her feet. "Hey, Misato? You there?"   
  
"Yes Asuka," came the staticky reply. "What is it?"   
  
"Why don't we just stop here? If it's going to keep doing this until   
we run out of gas, why not just sit down and wait for it to come to   
us?"   
  
There was a long pause before the reply came back. "Did you and Shinji   
agree on this?"   
  
"Yeah, we did," Asuka replied immediately. "Why not? It beats driving   
around in this oven."   
  
"...all right, if you say so," came Misato's reply. Her voice sounded   
distinctly unconvinced. But the Humvee still turned and slowed down,   
grinding to a halt on the plain. The Jeep followed suit a moment   
later, as did the other two vehicles, once they'd been radioed and   
informed of the change in plans.   
  
The group immediately began to set up. Ritsuko and Maya started lining   
up their computer equipment, while a couple of men from the SUV began   
setting a few of the scanners down at various places over the impromptu   
camp. Shinji headed around to the back of the Humvee, along with   
Asuka. Opening up the doors, the children looked inside, where Maya   
and Ritsuko were still hard at work. Misato, still in the driver's   
seat, stretched and let out a low sigh, closing her eyes and looking   
out the window.   
  
Unit-00 stopped a few dozen meters away from the trucks and lowered its   
occupants to the ground. Kaoru and Rei quickly joined Shinji and Asuka   
over by the Humvee, listening to hear what Ritsuko had to say.   
  
"It's still stationary..." the woman was saying. "...wait, it's on the   
move. It has shifted position again."   
  
Asuka nodded, then grinned at Shinji, nudging him in the ribs with one   
elbow. "Wouldn't have been worth all the time of driving to that last   
spot anyway, eh, Shinji-chan?"   
  
"I guess so," came Shinji's hesitant response. "How is it moving like   
this, Ritsuko-san?"   
  
"I still don't have enough data to answer that question, Ikari,"   
Ritsuko said. "I'll give you an answer when I have one."   
  
Shinji blinked, drawing back a little. "Sorry," he muttered.   
  
"It's moving again," Ritsuko said. "A new orientation, one-point-six   
kilometers from here."   
  
They waited. The blue pattern moved, again and again. Each time, it   
came a little closer to their position.   
  
"We should get ready," Kaoru said, looking at the pattern as it   
appeared again. "This way, Rei."   
  
"Hang on, Kaoru-kun," Shinji said, holding up one hand. "Just let me   
get...Kensuke!"   
  
"Eh?" the boy asked, looking up. He was leaning over the back of the   
Humvee, digging around inside of it. "What is it?" he asked,   
innocently. "I just wanted to see what you guys are hiding back here."   
  
"Well...excuse me a minute," Shinji said, pushing Kensuke out of the   
way as politely as he could. He reached into a box inside the back of   
the vehicle, quickly finding what he wanted.   
  
He pulled out a pair of radios, which he handed to Rei and Kaoru. The   
pale children clipped these onto their clothes at the waistline.   
Complementing these were a pair of headsets, lightweight affairs   
that fit rather well. After setting the frequency and testing the   
volume, the pair set off for another corner of the camp.   
  
"I guess we should go too, then," Shinji said. He took Asuka by the   
arm and gently led the girl away. Asuka resisted for a moment, angrily   
pulling him back to look at the computer screen for another few   
minutes. But eventually she became bored of watching the wave patterns   
and set off, this time dragging Shinji along with her. They also put   
on radios, and threw one to Ritsuko. Then then climbed up a small   
hill, a rise in the terrain that put them about ten meters above   
everyone else, giving them a better vantage point.   
  
This left only Ritsuko, Misato, and Maya in the Humvee, watching as the   
pulsing blue pattern kept vanishing and reappearing, with greater and   
greater frequency. Finally, however, it stabilized, not vanishing but   
in fact becoming stronger, until it finally levelled out.   
  
"Distance is oh-point-four kilometers," Ritsuko said. "It's   
moving."   
  
"Teleporting, again?" Misato asked, squeezing between the front seats   
of the truck and trying to peek around and steal a glance at the all-   
telling computer screen.   
  
"No," Ritsuko said, annoyed, as she shoved Misato away. "Moving at   
nominal speed for an Eva. I assume it's walking. If I had to guess, I   
would say that it has finally decided to take a closer look at us."   
  
They watched as the screen read off numbers. It kept coming closer,   
until...   
  
"Here it comes," Ritsuko said, looking up from the computer screen.   
Her eyes focused on a point in the distance, a point which a half dozen   
other pairs of eyes simultaneously looked to.   
  
Right on cue, a giant white form stepped from behind the mountain that   
had previously been blocking their view. It moved slowly, footsteps   
shaking the ground even at this distance. Its shoulders slumped, arms   
dangling by its sides as though it were unsure of what to do with them.   
  
"Looks different," Misato commented, her eyes narrowing as she took it   
in.   
  
"Indeed," Ritsuko said, typing on the laptop. The Eva did not have the   
demonic appearance of the other MPE's that had activated so far.   
Rather, its head was more rounded, and it had large shoulder flanges,   
similar to those of Unit-00. In addition, its skin looked more like   
metal plating than actual flesh. But it was still colored the plain,   
pure white of the MPE's.   
  
"But I would recommend deploying," Ritsuko continued, not looking up   
from the screen this time. Her fingers flew over the keyboard,   
accessing the data she'd need.   
  
"Yes, yes," Misato said, nodding sharply. She raised her radio up to   
her mouth. "Shinji-kun, you see it?"   
  
"Clearly, Misato-san," came the reply. "Kaoru-kun, you're clear to   
engage."   
  
"Deploy AT field and move in," Misato added on, speaking from memory.   
"Take no offensive action unless provoked."   
  
"You heard her, Kaoru-kun," Shinji's voice came from over the radio.   
He sounded slightly chastised at Misato having to fill in that last   
part for him. Misato just shrugged. He would learn, eventually.   
  
"Understood, Shinji-kun," came Kaoru's voice, his tone almost cheerful,   
back over the radio. Seconds later, Unit-00 stepped forwards, closing   
towards the white Eva in the distance. After the first few steps, its   
AT field rippled into existence around it, shoving away anything that   
dared come near.   
  
"Interesting," Ritsuko said, ceasing her typing. She held one finger   
to her mouth, thinking hard.   
  
"What is it?" Misato asked, looking down at her old friend.   
  
"The scans show this Eva to be highly similar in construction to Unit-   
04," Ritsuko answered, reaching forwards and scrolling down through   
some of the data. "To within a 98% accuracy," she added, after a   
moment.   
  
"Unit-04?" Misato asked. "But that one was destroyed."   
  
"Not destroyed," Ritsuko corrected. She looked back up at Misato.   
"Its S2 engine malfunctioned, creating a Sea of Dirac like the one that   
pulled in Unit-01 earlier."   
  
"Sea of Dirac..." Misato said, her brow furrowing. "You mean that hole   
in the ground?"   
  
"Yes," Ritsuko replied, simply. "Which is what worries me..."   
  
Misato raised the radio back up to her mouth. "Nagisa, be careful with   
this one, it might..." she trailed off, as she looked back up to the   
white Eva.   
  
The Eva was sinking. It was slowly melting into the ground, as though   
caught in an enormous pit of quicksand. But from her position, Misato   
could see that it wasn't quicksand. Rather, it was a large, expanding   
'shadow'. Contrary to the Eva's white exterior, this shadow was dead   
black, the color so deep as to be impenetrable, a miniature black hole   
suddenly materializing from nothingness, and drawing all around it back   
into nothingness.   
  
"Misato-san?" Kaoru said. "This could prove problematic. I am pulling   
back to reassess the situation."   
  
"Understood," Misato shot back. She looked down to Ritsuko. "Is there   
anything we can do, Ritsu?"   
  
"Not from here," Ritsuko said. "We've never been able to get a full   
understanding of how a Sea of Dirac functions."   
  
Her lips tightening, Misato watched, helpless, as the white Eva   
vanished entirely within the shadow, its body dissolving as it sank, as   
though it was not just sinking, but rather truly dissappearing.   
  
^Too bad that's not what it's really doing,^ Misato guessed. ^It   
wouldn't just be committing suicide.^   
  
Unit-00 stepped forwards, cautiously, as the black hole began to   
shrink, rapidly contracting back towards its center.   
  
"Careful, Kaoru-kun," Shinji warned, over the radio. "I don't know if   
it's safe to move in."   
  
"I will be careful, Shinji-kun," Kaoru replied. "I just - !"   
  
His voice cut off as the blackness reappeared, this time directly under   
Unit-00. With reflexes that impressed even Ritsuko, the blue giant   
flexed its legs and jumped, before the shadow could solidify into the   
all-consuming maw it had been just moments before.   
  
"What is happening?" Kaoru asked, his voice betraying more than a   
little nervousness. Even as he jumped clear, the shadow came into full   
existence. A spire of rock, caught helpless, toppled over, falling   
into the blackness and sinking in, slowly but surely being devoured.   
But even before it could vanish, the shadow again contracted,   
apparently unsatisfied with what it had been able to find. As the Sea   
slipped back over the ground, the rock spire ceased sinking. Rather,   
it shook as the shadow passed underneath it, cracks running up its   
surface. Once the shadow had passed, it was obvious that only what had   
still been outside the blackness was left; anything that had sunk in   
was gone, cut off by the impossibly sharp edge of the closing hole.   
  
As soon as it had shrunk to a pinpoint and disappeared, the shadow   
reappeared, again under Unit-00. Once more, the mech jumped away,   
clearing hundreds of meters before its feet slammed back into the terra   
firma, sinking into the dirt and sending a huge tremor rippling through   
the ground.   
  
Again dissatisfied, the blackness receded. As it shrunk, Kaoru's voice   
came back over the radio.   
  
"Ritsuko-san! I am redirecting Unit-00's AT field to cover the base   
camp. It may offer some protection against the attacker."   
  
"Alright, Kaoru-kun," Shinji's voice came over the radio. "Be careful.   
You don't want to get caught in it."   
  
"I know all too well, Shinji-kun."   
  
Even as Kaoru was saying this, Ritsuko, Misato, and everyone else   
nearby felt the hairs on their necks prick up. In front of them, the   
air rippled, forming an impenetrable wall of pure will. For a moment,   
a feeling of security went through the people watching from the two   
vehicles. But it was only a moment.   
  
Because no sooner had the AT field pulled them into its protective   
embrace than the ground opened up, turning to pure blackness right   
underneath their very feet.   
  
Shocked screams broke out immediately as people saw it happening. A   
few people, caught on the ground, started sinking in, uselesslly   
pulling at their legs in an effort to get out of the black swamp they'd   
become mired in, and were slowly sinking into.   
  
Ritsuko jumped a little as she felt the truck shudder underneath her.   
Looking down, she saw it: sure enough, as the shadow expanded, it was   
going underneath the Humvee, slowly pulling it down into the earth.   
  
Maya, next to her, let out a yelp of pure shock, looking to both of the   
other women in the hopes that they'd have some idea of what to do.   
  
"Jump!" Misato yelled, popping open the door and clambering out onto   
the Humvee's hood. Maya nodded and followed closely, tugging at   
Ritsuko's sleeve as she did so. Ritsuko, however, just turned,   
shrugging out of the other woman's grip. Maya, too scared to notice,   
kept going. She followed Misato as they got a brief running start on   
the Humvee's broad hood, then jumped clear, landing just outside the   
edge of the ever-expanding shadow. The two women rolled with the   
impact, immediately dragging themselves to their feet and running to   
try and get clear. As she ran, Maya looked back at the Humvee.   
  
"Sempai!" she called out. "Sempai, get clear! Jump out!"   
  
Ritsuko didn't move.   
  
"Sempai!" Maya screamed, running back for the Humvee. She was stopped,   
however, as Misato threw her arms around her waist, digging in her   
heels and keeping the hysterical woman from running straight into her   
own death.   
  
"It's too late!" Misato grunted out, pulling Maya back. "She can't get   
clear!"   
  
"SEMPAI!!!"   
  
Ritsuko was oblivious to the screaming of her former student. She   
typed madly, her fingers a blur on the keyboard. She accessed the   
scanning equipment still in the truck, calling up what data was still   
available. She quirked an eyebrow as she got data from one of the   
scanners that had already been sucked into the hole.   
  
^Could be useful later,^ she thought. She looked down, raising her   
feet up as she saw the floor panels vanish into the blackness. She   
got up on the large central console of the truck, forced to crawl due   
to the low ceiling. She slowly made her way towards the front, racing   
with the void crawling up towards her. Looking at the data one more   
time, she nodded to herself and picked her radio.   
  
"Nagisa," she said, her voice utterly calm. "Disable your AT field."   
  
"Ritsuko-san?" Kaoru asked, confused. "I do not understand why - "   
  
"I'll explain later, Nagisa," Ritusko said, folding up up the laptop.   
She got up on the dashboard as the seats vanished from view. "Just do   
it. _Now_."   
  
The delay couldn't have been much longer than a second, as Kaoru   
ordered Unit-00 to shut off its AT field. But it was the longest   
second of Ritsuko's life. The sea of oblivion crept up, beginning to   
swallow the dashboard. Ritsuko got up on her tiptoes, bracing herself   
against the roof as she felt her balance start to waver. She could   
only watch as the darkness appeared over the edge of the dash and crept   
towards her, slowly reaching out to pull her into its cold clutches.   
  
Then, it halted. All of a sudden, the Humvee stopped sinking. Ritsuko   
kept watching, her feet aching from holding her up on her toes, sweat   
begining to trickle down her back. But it still didn't come any   
closer. She was tempted to try touching the blackness, to see if it   
was still capable of pulling things in. But she repressed that   
perverse desire as soon as it surfaced.   
  
Sure enough, the shadow receded once more, passing underneath the   
remains of the truck - which was now little more than the top of a   
dashboard, a roof, and most of a windshield - leaving behind only the   
parts that were still above the surface.   
  
Ritsuko waited a full five seconds after the darkness had receded.   
Then she collapsed to her knees, wincing as she crashed onto the hard   
soil. In her hands, she still clutched the laptop she'd been typing on   
so fervently.   
  
She raised the radio back up. "Nagisa..." she said, breathlessly.   
"Nagisa, it..." she took a moment to catch her breath. "It tracks AT   
fields. The stronger the field, the stronger the attraction. So do   
_not_ deploy Unit-00's AT field."   
  
"Understood, Ritsuko-san."   
  
Ritsuko smiled as she heard the confirmation. Then, the radio fell   
from her hands, followed shortly thereafter by the laptop. She slumped   
forwards, hugging her body as though freezing. It was all she could do   
to keep breathing, as she felt tears going down her face.   
  
"Sempai!" Maya called out. A split-second later, the younger woman was   
there, crawling under the roof of the devoured Humvee and helping   
Ritsuko get out. She looked at her old teacher with an expression of   
intense worry.   
  
^Never thought I'd _miss_ being in a command center, safe and secure a   
kilometer underground,^ Ritsuko thought, smiling again. She shivered,   
doing her best to reassure Maya, who was blubbering over her, crying   
tears of her own.   
  
***   
  
Kaoru cringed, watching the Sea of Dirac recede once again. It left   
behind the shattered remains of a camp. Metal, stone, and flesh alike   
were severed, leaving behind useless scraps of metal, as well as limbs,   
hands reaching uselessly to try and pull themselves out of the icy grip   
of death.   
  
He looked back to Unit-00, and the titan fell into a combat stance,   
stepping carefully along the ground. Its eye was trained on the dirt   
at its feet, almost daring it to open up and try swallowing it again.   
But accompanying the overwhelming rush of adrenaline was a sensation of   
utter fear, of insecurity itching at the back of his head. The AT   
field was down. Unit-00 was defenseless, now; nothing save his own   
reflexes and combat ablities were going to preserve the gigantic combat   
machine. Kaoru had to exert a huge amount of self-control just not to   
project the AT field out of raw habit.   
  
But it appeared to be working; as Kaoru watched, both through his own   
eyes and through Unit-00's optics, he could see that, wherever the   
attacker was hiding, it wasn't striking anymore. It was, apparently,   
blind.   
  
Even though the mech's footsteps were making the ground rumble, a   
deathly silence had fallen on the area. Everyone still alive was   
looking, probing the ground for the other Eva, waiting for it to show   
itself.   
  
It didn't take long. The ground opened once more, so quickly that   
Kaoru took a step back out of surprise. But this time, the black   
circle was not underneath Unit-00. Rather, it was a good distance off   
to the right.   
  
Unit-00 turned to face the shadow, waiting to see what would happen.   
Sure enough, the white Eva was rising up, coming out just as it had   
gone in. Its head appeared, followed by its shoulders, then its torso,   
then its legs, and finally its feet, shooting out of the Sea of Dirac   
quicker than he could've guessed was possible. It then stood on the   
blackness, hovering over oblivion, as the shadow receded again,   
vanishing. Now above ground, it turned to face Unit-00. It stepped   
towards the mech.   
  
Kaoru didn't give it a chance to go on the offensive. Unit-00 charged,   
Progressive knife deploying as it ran. It grabbed the knife out of the   
sheath and slashed at the white Eva as the distance closed.   
  
But the Eva was already reacting. It had looked up, its twin black   
eyes meeting Unit-00's single red one, for a moment, as the blue Eva   
had dashed towards it. As the knife descended, the world opened up.   
  
The black hole appeared once again, this time oriented vertically,   
directly behind the copy of Unit-04. The white Eva stepped backwards   
as the knife came down. The Prog knife missed by centimeters. Before   
Kaoru could react, the white Eva had vanished into the black hole   
again, which snapped shut so suddenly as to have been a magician's   
illusion.   
  
"Where..." Kaoru muttered. Unit-00 looked around madly, in all   
directions, brandishing its knife. Its eye focused and panned,   
searching for an opponent that was not there.   
  
The attack finally came. A black hole opened up directly behind Unit-   
00. Before the blue mech could react, a pair of white arms emerged   
from the hole, going around Unit-00 and pinning its arms to its sides.   
As the hole expanded further, the white Eva stepped out, again making   
its presence known.   
  
Kaoru grunted, feeling his own arms crushed into his rib cage in   
sympathetic response. He summoned up all of Unit-00's strength and   
pushed against the white Eva's grip, desperately trying to free his   
arms.   
  
Finally, the grip broke. Unit-00 half-turned, grabbed Unit-04 by the   
scruff of its neck, and then twisted, throwing its whole body into the   
maneuver as it tossed Unit-04 through the air.   
  
Unit-04 went airborne, arcing up, then down, towards the ground. But   
The Sea of Dirac opened up underneath it before it could impact. It   
simply continued its fall, plumetting back into the depths of the   
blackness, instead of crashing into the ground as the laws of physics   
would dictate. The hole snapped shut.   
  
Kaoru waited, keeping his cool this time, preparing for the inevitable   
strike. Finally, the air yawned open, this time to Unit-00's right.   
Unit-00 dodged, backing away quickly before Unit-04 could again grab   
it. The white Eva stepped out, coming back into the physical world.   
It circled slowly, going in a slow counterclockwise circuit, mirrored   
by Unit-00, no more than a few arms' lengths away.   
  
Unit-04 finally broke away, stepping forwards and throwing a punch at   
Unit-00. Unit-00 sidestepped the blow, letting the fist graze its left   
shoulder. Its right hand, clutching the knife so hard the armor plates   
on its knuckles were popping, thrust the weapon directly at Unit-04's   
face.   
  
The blackness came again. This time, right in front of the target.   
Unit-00's knife arm, instead of hitting an Eva, sank right into a black   
hole as it appeared just in front of Unit-04's face.   
  
Kaoru's eyes widened as the arm disappeared to halfway up the forearm.   
Not only that, but it kept going in, drawn inwards by a force as   
invisible and as undeniable as gravity.   
  
"Nagisa!" Misato's voice came over the radio.   
  
"Y...yes, Misato-san?" Kaoru groaned out, clutching his right arm as he   
felt it freezing.   
  
"Nagisa, blow the arm! Quick, before you lose any more!"   
  
"No!" Shinji's voice came over the radio. "That'll hurt Kaoru-kun!"   
  
"Shinji-kun, this isn't the time!" Misato shouted back. "We're about to   
lose the whole Eva!"   
  
"Yes, Misato-san!" Kaoru grunted out, before Shinji could say anything   
else. He closed his eyes and gave the mental order.   
  
White-hot pain exploded through his body as Unit-00's right arm was   
blasted free at the elbow. Kaoru fell to his knees, only just managing   
to repress a cry of agony as he clutched his own right elbow, sure that   
he would find a bloody stump there, like the one mirrored on Unit-00's   
right arm.   
  
As Unit-00 stepped back, holding its smoking, bleeding wound, Unit-04   
also stepped away, not pressing its advantage. It waited patiently as   
the shredded remains of Unit-00's arm were sucked into the airborne Sea   
of Dirac.   
  
Unit-04 slowly began to advance, its armored feet shaking the ground   
with each step. Unit-00 fell back, slowly but surely losing ground to   
the other titan. It glanced to one side, then the other, looking for   
something it could use against the implacable opponent.   
  
Suddenly, the white Eva stopped, suddenly freezing in place. Slowly,   
as though underwater, its head turned, looking behind its armored   
opponent, at a point behind it. Kaoru flinched as the mech's eyes,   
sockets as black as the Sea of Dirac it controlled, fell on him. Then   
they moved a little to the side, focusing on something other than him.   
  
Unit-04's mouth opened, letting out a slow breath. It sucked in more   
air, then growled slowly. Kaoru felt the chill of true fear running   
through him, at that sound. It was the sound of hate, pure and simple.   
Hatred born of long torment, of years spent despising a single object,   
or more specifically, a single person.   
  
He moved on instinct. The Eva was distracted. Now was the time to   
strike, before it could act on whatever its hatred might lead it to do.   
Unit-00 ran for the white Eva once more.   
  
Unit-04 didn't even waste the energy of turning its head back to face   
its opponent. With one hand, it reached out, grabbing Unit-00 by the   
face as the blue Eva came up to it. Kaoru jerked, then grunted as he   
felt his neck strain. Unit-04 lifted Unit-00 off the ground, still   
using nothing but its lone arm. The blue titan was limp, its powerful   
limbs hanging uselessly by its sides as its controller tried to keep   
breathing in the face of the pain transmitted through his link to it.   
  
Unit-04 turned and threw the blue giant to the side. Unit-00 crashed   
to the ground, unmoving, a broken, useless doll. Then the ground   
opened once more, and the white Eva sank, vanishing from the world.   
  
***   
  
Standing no more than a few meters off to Kaoru's side, Rei watched as   
Unit-00 engaged the enemy.   
  
^The Eva can manipulate space,^ she observed, as Unit-04 used its Sea   
of Dirac to dodge Unit-00's first strike, and then to appear behind the   
attacking Eva. ^How to engage something which can change its position   
on the battlefield instantaneously?^   
  
Her face betrayed no perceptible reaction as Unit-00's arm was pulled   
into the black hole which suddenly appeared in front of Unit-04. She   
merely blinked as the arm exploded, breaking free from its assailant   
and leaving Unit-00 with half a right arm, and no Progressive knife.   
  
^There must be a way to break its Sea of Dirac,^ she thought. ^It is   
merely a manipulation of an AT field.^   
  
^Kill.^   
  
Rei blinked as the voice sounded in her head.   
  
^Destroy.^   
  
She briefly glanced around, confirming that no one was nearby, save   
Kaoru, who was trying to pull himself back up to his feet. The voice   
sounded...familiar, somehow. Tugging at some memory, but not quite   
causing it to surface.   
  
^The boy has failed,^ the voice said. Rei now recognized the voice as   
her own. Only it sounded younger, and, in an odd way...bitter. Yes,   
that was the word for it. Bitter, cold, and...angry.   
  
^Who are you?^ she thought, at the voice.   
  
^You know who I am,^ the voice replied, in an almost mocking tone.   
  
Rei's eyes widened. ^You...^   
  
^Yes. You cannot deny me, Ayanami. I am the power you need. I am   
what can destroy the enemy. I can annihilate all who stand in your   
way, kill all who would threaten Ikari-kun and the others.^   
  
Rei closed her eyes. ^No...no, I cannot.^   
  
^Yes you can. You can activate me, give me the strength of the Eva. I   
will win this battle for you.^   
  
^No,^ Rei thought, firmly. ^Ikari-kun has told me not to use you.^   
  
^His word means nothing, if it would lead you to defeat.^   
  
Rei closed her eyes again, holding one hand to her forehead as a   
headache came on. Fear began flickering through her, bubbling up   
through her stomach and climbing up her spine.   
  
^I cannot do that,^ she thought, again. ^You would destroy all.^   
  
^It is my purpose.^   
  
Rei opened her eyes. Not in response to what the Dummy plug had said,   
but because she'd heard a noise which struck a note of pure terror in   
her. A feeling she'd only been able to guess at before, when she'd   
seen it happen to someone else. As though in a dream, she looked down   
to her feet.   
  
"A shadow?" she mumbled, her eyes widening.   
  
"Rei!"   
  
The word came over the radio, up into her headset. Two voices spoke   
it, in perfect synch: two boys, one with crimson eyes like hers, and   
another with deep blue eyes, far from here, only able to watch as Rei's   
feet vanished into the yawning hole of oblivion that had appeared   
beneath her.   
  
Kaoru looked away from Unit-00, letting it stand still as he focused   
his attention on Rei. "Rei!" he called out again. "Rei, get out!"   
  
He got to the edge of the black hole, stretching out his hand in an   
effort to reach her. But it was too far; Rei was at least five meters   
from him already. And even as he watched, the hole continued   
expanding, pushing him backwards as he stepped away from the edge.   
  
"Rei!" Shinji cried out again, helplessly. "Someone! Anyone! Help   
Rei!"   
  
Rei was now in up to her knees. She felt a chill going through her;   
her legs felt like they were frozen into solid ice, and the feeling was   
inching its way upwards, towards her heart. Utter blackness stared her   
in the face as she looked down, death embodied in an AT field as it   
slowly swallowed her.   
  
Up to her waist, now. Rei struggled uselessly, trying to pull free.   
The icy feeling was now filling her through and through; she shivered,   
hugging herself tightly to try and preserve some hint of warmth.   
  
Suddenly, something clicked in her head. Something was worming its way   
into her mind, briefly brushing her psyche as it pulled her physical   
body into its maw.   
  
"So...that is what you fear..." she said. Slowly, she unfolded her   
arms, watching as drops of cold sweat fell from her body in the   
movement. The black sea had already pulled her in up to her abdomen.   
There was not much time left before it had her entirely in its grip.   
Or it could just close now, cutting her in half.   
  
Rei reached out with her right hand, palm down.   
  
"REI!!!!" came another hysterical cry. She was no longer sure of who   
was calling to her. She just reached down, letting her palm touch the   
surface of the black sea.   
  
It immediately began to pull her hand in. But as it did so, Rei closed   
her eyes and focused her mind. She reached inside, searching for   
something she hadn't had a reason to use - and in fact hadn't been   
_able_ to use - for quite some time. She didn't hope, or pray.   
Somehow, she knew it would be there.   
  
Her skin took on a luminescent quality, glowing so slightly it could   
have just been a trick of the light. As this happened, she stopped   
sinking. The icy feeling, indeed _all_ feeling, left her as she felt   
something well up from deep within her self, rushing through her veins   
with untold excitement, and out into her hand.   
  
She couldn't see with her eyes closed, but had she been looking, she'd   
have seen a series of ripples, glowing bands of rainbow-colored light,   
spreading outwards from her palm. The ripples passed through her as   
though she were not there, expanding outwards until they vanished at   
the edge of the dark hole. They kept coming, emanating more   
frequently, and with wider bands, until finally, the entire Sea of   
Dirac was consumed by a single, overpowering swath of light, shining as   
brightly as the sun.   
  
Rei's hair was blown backwards as a wind came from the lit sea   
underneath her. She kept her eyes closed, though her brow furrowed, as   
though in some kind of internal struggle. Finally, though, she   
relaxed, going back to the placid expression she'd worn since the day   
began.   
  
And with that, she was ejected, blasted free of the ground like a shot   
out of a gun. Rei opened her eyes in time to see the ground falling   
away from her, giving her a brief sensation of vertigo. Then gravity   
took notice of her once again, and she began to fall. She rotated   
herself in mid-air, lining up so she'd land on her feet. She was well   
aware of just how high she was, now, but again, she somehow _knew_ that   
she would be all right.   
  
***   
  
Shinji was no doctor, but he was sure his heart stopped for a brief   
moment as he saw Rei get launched into the air.   
  
The girl tumbled, going up so high she could have landed on an Eva's   
shoulder. Shinji's eyes locked onto her as she reversed direction and   
began to fall. He was unable to look away. He found himself wondering   
if he'd be able to watch when she hit the ground.   
  
Rei turned her arms, using the momentum to rotate herself until she was   
oriented feet-first. The fall was over all too quickly.   
  
Shinji found he didn't even blink as she hit the ground. But then   
again, he didn't expect what he saw, either. Rei hit the ground and   
went to a crouching position, as though she'd only fallen from a few   
meters up. A microsecond later, a small shockwave blasted out from the   
girl, kicking up a large cloud of dust and obscuring the view. The   
wind blew the dust aside quickly, though, revealing Rei at the middle   
of a shallow crater, standing up straight. Slowly, the girl turned and   
looked directly at Shinji. He knew it was impossible, but he was sure   
he could see the crimson of her eyes, even at this range. A chill   
rippled through him, making him clench his teeth in fear for a brief   
moment. Only one thought could make its way through his consciousness:   
  
^Who or what _is_ Rei Ayanami?^   
  
He didn't have time to puzzle out an answer. Even as he watched, the   
still-glowing Sea of Dirac spat out one last thing: the resurrected   
Unit-04.   
  
The Eva leapt out as though it had stepped on hot coals, jumping   
backwards and landing unsteadily on its feet, with the Sea of Dirac   
between it and Unit-00, not to mention Rei and Kaoru.   
  
Then, it happened: the Sea exploded. The glowing phenomenon ceased,   
leaving only a dull gray color on the earth. The ground heaved up,   
shattering like glass as it finally surged to reject this abomination   
of nature. The grayness vanished, as well, leaving only a broken   
stretch of land twenty meters across, rocks vomited up into a twisted   
natural sculpture.   
  
Slowly, the shock passed. After about ten seconds, people began to   
move again. After another five seconds, the Evas began to move. Unit-   
04 began staggering backwards, unsteady and unsure of itself. It   
quivered, its muscles tensing and bending it over sideways. Its mouth   
opened in a silent shout of frustration, then bent over backwards to an   
impossible degree, its arms splayed out to the side as its spine was   
forced into an inverted 'U'-shape. It was as though it were some doll   
an invisible child were twisting about.   
  
Unit-00, on the other hand, was moving quite smoothly. Though missing   
an arm, it still stood tall, clenching its remaining fist in   
anticipation. It watched for a moment, of eyeing the target, almost   
_willing_ it to attack. All Unit-04 was able to do was relax its back   
muscles, coming out of its contortionist pose and hunching its   
shoulders forwards, its arms dangling at its sides.   
  
Finally, it happened: a bubble formed in Unit-04's chest, along with a   
similar bulge on its back. Armor plates popped and twisted out of the   
way as the boil pushed its way through. The Eva shook, its arms coming   
up shakily and touching the sore, grabbing at it, almost trying to push   
it back in. But for all its efforts, both bulges kept growing, pushing   
the powerful hands aside. It expanded, becoming steadly larger, until   
the Eva's entire upper body was encased in a mass of quivering flesh.   
The Eva flung its arms wide, falling to its knees and letting out one   
last inhuman scream of agony.   
  
And then the sore burst, simultaneously on the Eva's back and front in   
a spray of red blood. Its eyes dimmed, and it fell silent.   
  
***   
  
Ariel fell to her knees as she felt it happen. She felt the soul   
become erased. Obliterated.   
  
Her guts spasmed, and she pitched forwards, vomiting. She remained   
still for a long time, even after her stomach was empty. Tears and   
blood from the girl mixed with the puddle of bile as she wept silently.   
  
Leliel was no more.   
  
***   
  
"We won?" Shinji asked the air. He looked at the silent Eva. "We   
won!" he said, more firmly.   
  
But fate seemed determined to keep them from celebrating too soon.   
Shinji was interrupted, as a noise came that chilled his blood: the   
sound of an Eva's engine starting up. Unit-00 was already online,   
which could only mean...   
  
He turned around. Sure enough, Unit-04 was getting back to its feet,   
oblivious to the gaping hole in its chest, and the entrails hanging out   
its back. The Eva's eyes flickered, in a surreal kind of blink. Then   
they lit up, the dead black pools beginning to glow a bright blood red.   
  
"Kaoru-kun! Rei!" Shinji screamed into the radio. "LOOK OUT!"   
  
Unit-00 dodged just in time to avoid a tackle by the deranged Eva.   
Unit-00 turned and planted a kick in Unit-04's chest, only to have its   
leg grabbed. Unit-00 was tossed, sailing through the air and skidding   
along the ground as it landed, pushing up a small mountain of displaced   
earth underneath its body.   
  
Unit-04 began to advance. Watching this, Shinji talked into his radio.   
  
"Ritsuko-san! Ritsuko-san! What's going on? How is it moving??"   
  
"I think I know why..." came the calm voice on the other end. "I   
believe - "   
  
"Yes? What?" Shinji asked, frantic. Unit-04 jumped at the still-prone   
Unit-00. The blue Eva retaliated by raising up its feet and kicking   
the white Eva back as it descended.   
  
"Unit-04 was an experimental model for the S2 organ, Shinji," Ritsuko   
explained. "The designers probably built in a backup battery supply,   
just in case the engine didn't work."   
  
"How long does it have?" Shinji asked.   
  
"I'm uncertain. At most, five minutes. But it may be less. The   
batteries were only to be used to get the Eva on and off the testing   
grounds, in the case of engine failure."   
  
Both Evas were on their feet again. This time, somehow, Shinji knew   
there would be no Sea of Dirac, no black hole for the white Eva to   
vanish into, or use as a shield. But somehow, it didn't matter. Unit-   
04 advanced, clocking Unit-00 with an elbow to the face. The blue Eva   
could only just block the follow-up punch with its good arm. Unit-04   
pressed its advantage, belting Unit-00 in its right side, where it   
couldn't defend.   
  
Unit-00 bent over double, but even as Unit-04 reached for it, the blue   
Eva charged, catching Unit-04 off-guard. It shoved Unit-04 to the   
ground, straddling it and placing its one good hand on the Eva's neck.   
  
"Kaoru-kun, remember don't crush the core!" Shinji called into his   
radio.   
  
"I rememeber, Shinji-kun!" Kaoru's voice answered. "But right now I am   
just trying to stay alive!"   
  
Unit-04 finally pried Unit-00's fingers off of its throat. It sat up,   
shoving Unit-00 to the ground and getting to its feet. Unit-00 shakily   
got to its own feet just as Unit-04 reached for its neck. Two white   
hands wrapped around the blue Eva's throat. They began to squeeze.   
  
Shinji winced as he heard Unit-00's neck groan. He covered his ears as   
the cracking sound started. It was so familiar, hearing the sound of   
an Eva's neck breaking, slowly...steadily...until the final, defeaning   
thunder of the spine shattering. Shinji slammed his eyes shut, waiting   
for that horrible noise.   
  
It never came.   
  
After a few moments of agonizing waiting, Shinji dared to open his   
eyes. He looked at the battle, again.   
  
The Evas were both frozen in the same positions they'd been in when   
he'd looked away. Unit-00 was still trying to break free, and Unit-04   
was still strangling the blue Eva. Or rather, it appeared to be doing   
so. In truth, Unit-04 was standing there, stiff as a statue. Indeed,   
Unit-00 was finally able to pull the white hands aside and step away,   
letting the murderous arms spring back to their former positions as   
though made of stiff rubber. Unit-04 continued to stand there, arms   
still locked in the forward position, frozen fingers clawing at the   
air, an expression of anticipation and hunger etched onto its inhuman   
face.   
  
"Ran out of power," Shinji sighed out, collapsing to the ground. He   
raised up his radio. "Ritsuko-san, does Unit-04 have any other power   
supplies?"   
  
"None that I'm aware of, Ikari."   
  
"Good," Shinji said. He fell backwards, landing on his back. "_Now_   
we've won."   
  
^And what has Rei found out about herself, then?^   
  
"Well, I _guess_ we did," Asuka said, dejectedly.   
  
Shinji turned his head, looking over at the girl. "What do you mean?"   
  
Asuka looked at him for a long moment, her mouth tight. Her eyes   
seemed to be probing him, looking for something she was no longer sure   
she would find. But only for a moment. Then she shook her head and   
blinked, glaring down at him.   
  
"Don't you remember, you baka?" she shouted. "The camera _was_ in the   
back of the Humvee! You know, the truck that thing _ate_!"   
  
Shinji blinked, then looked away, cursing sharply in frustration.   
After shaking his head for a few moments, he sighed, putting both hands   
over his face. "Oh..._that_..." he said, now sounding even more   
depressed than Asuka had.   
  
"What camera?" came a new voice.   
  
Shinji looked between his fingers, turning his head in the direction of   
the voice. "Kensuke?"   
  
"Yeah, Shinji. What're you and the devil here talking about?"   
  
Asuka growled at the boy. "Don't you remember, you baka? We were   
supposed to film the Eva so we could show the Americans we're not just   
bullshitting them! They even gave us a camera to do it with!"   
  
"You mean this?" Kensuke asked, lifting up one hand. Sure enough, he   
held the camera in question, letting it dangle off his fingers.   
  
Asuka's eyes widened. "You mean..."   
  
Shinji got up. "Kensuke, please tell me you got that on tape."   
  
"Well, yeah," the boy said, shrugging. "Found this in the back of the   
truck, and it looked like no one was doing anything with it. So what   
else was I supposed to do? Got some great battle footage."   
  
Kensuke soon found himself caught up in a crushing embrace from both   
Asuka and Shinji, both of whom were falling all over themselves to   
thank him. After the shock wore off, he smiled. Now if only he could   
get _this_ on tape...   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
Started: August 31, 2001   
Version 1 Ended: September 28, 2001   
Version 2 Ended: November 9, 2001   
  
Send comments to: otakusadist@hotmail.com   
And visit my site: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/shinjirei   
  
As always, thanks go to the Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and   
Judging Eagle for prereading this fic.   
  
Also thank you Kristian, for helping me with the German, a language I   
know virtually nothing about. (And my apologies for screwing up the   
language in previous chapters; I'll see about fixing that. ^_^) 


	14. Chapter 11 (newly revised)

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Foreword: I know I should have explained this earlier. Anyway,   
just in case you didn't know, "-san" is the rough equivalent of "Mr."   
or "Ms.", and is the formal way to refer to someone who is either of   
equal or lesser standing than yourself.  
  
"-sama", on the other hand, roughly corresponds to "lord" or "lady",   
and is an honorific used in reference to people who are superior to   
you.  
  
I say this now because it only really becomes significant in this   
chapter...  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 11: The Moon Revealed  
  
Ariel slowly walked up to the coastline, the sand shifting under her   
bare feet.  
  
She'd just made it back to the camp, along with the others. As far as   
she knew, Shinji and Asuka were already busy explaining what had   
happened to everyone who wanted to know. The others were relaxing,   
glad to finally be back home.  
  
The return trip had not been a pleasant experience. The MP Eva's Sea   
of Dirac had absorbed the Humvee and the SUV they'd brought along with   
them, leaving the group with only two vehicles to get everyone back.   
Of course, there had been fewer people to bring - another result of the   
Eva's attack - but they had still done a pretty good imitation of a can   
of sardines. A dirty, tired, and very irritable can of sardines.   
Ariel herself had been crushed into the middle of the car's back seat,   
fighting for space with four other people. It had been an experience   
she would just as soon not repeat. Ever.  
  
Now, though, she had other matters to attend to. She made it to the   
tide of LCL and stepped in, walking out into the liquid. It slid along   
her naked form, inching up until she was up to her chin. She paused,   
forcing herself to relax before continuing on, submerging her head.   
After a moment, she took a 'breath' of the liquid, confirming that she   
could survive down here. Slowly, she knelt down on the sandy bottom.  
  
She paused, struck by a moment of doubt, but reminded herself of what   
she had to do. She might as well get started. She knelt there   
squatting on her heels for a minute or two, clearing her mind of   
anything and everything. It was impossible to force something like   
this; she just had to let go.   
  
The dull yellow light filtering through her eyelids faded to black, the   
sloshing of the waves in her ears became silent; the world around her   
had ceased to exist. Her emotions, doubts, and thoughts slowly faded as   
well, enveloped by her single purpose to become one with the many who   
were one. At the edge of her consciousness, she was dimly aware that   
she had brought her hands parallel and apart, as if in a strange prayer   
to a forgotten god.   
  
She could barely hear them: She could hear them: murmuring, indistinct   
voices in the back of her head. They were the voices of the Lilum, the   
ones that had not yet returned from the sea of LCL. That was her   
signal; she slowly brought her hands together. Now she was ready.  
  
She opened her eyes, but there was nothing. Frustrated, she heaved the   
mental equivalent of a sigh. Had she lived too long a human? Behind   
her she heard the crashing of the waves, growing louder, and in front   
the subdued whispers of those who lay waiting for the day they might   
return. So now she was stuck in the void between the world of the   
physical and the world of the soul. It was a mistake she could never   
have made in her previous life.   
  
Trying to concentrate, she tried her best to forget herself, forget   
what she was, forget about existing separately; there was only one.   
She, and..._it_, they no longer existed separately. There was only   
one.  
  
The barrier of her heart weakened drastically, and she was suddenly   
pulled forward, too fast for her to react. Quickly she stopped its   
weakening; just enough to sustain her body and avoid being swept away   
as the light, the warmth, the oneness engulfed her.   
  
This time, when she opened her eyes, she no longer had them.  
  
In this place, there were no individual bodies, no individual minds, no   
individual existences. There was only one mind, the mind of all those   
who had been joined into the final angel at Third Impact. Likewise, the   
souls of the humans had been united into an state where, she remembered   
hearing once, "where you exist everywhere, and thus exist nowhere."   
She felt the place, its very presence tugging at her delicately   
protected soul, imploring her to join them. She brushed them all aside,   
and held on to the tenuous balance she had on remaining herself.   
Asserting her individuality would forcibly eject her from this place;   
subduing it too much would result in her being trapped here a second   
time, perhaps never to return.  
  
To her mind's eye she was underwater, but she felt no cold. Above her,   
a bright blue light shone, wavering and shifting with the waves beyond.   
From that light fell small drops of glowing light. Around her were   
countless indistinct glowing patches of shimmering colours, some so far   
in the distance they were almost stars, against a background of blue.   
Below her the blue gradually darkened, until it dropped off into   
forbidding darkness. An entrance into a greater prison than this,   
perhaps, but Ariel was not here for the sightseeing.  
  
The Room of Gauf was infinite in measure, yet spanned not a micrometer   
of physical space. It was pointless to go search for those whom she   
sought, for she could not stay in this state forever and she had very   
little time to waste.  
  
Caught up in her thoughts, she did not notice that she had already   
brushed by several glowing lights. Coming close to one, she knew that   
each contained a human soul, caught up in dreams of joy, terror, or   
peace; whatever it desired to feel. Some were near the surface, ready   
to re-emerge into the world. Others seemed to be slowly sinking, afraid   
to return to the pain of life. She thought that perhaps another human   
would feel that emotion known as 'pity', seeing such a fear of reality   
in those souls. But, in this state...she felt nothing. Only here   
could she be truly reminded that she was not like the Lilum. It was an   
assertion of superiority that was simultaneously encouraging and   
unsettling.  
  
Pushing back these extraneous, time-wasting thoughts, she pictured   
those she wanted to find. It was not so much a physical image - a soul   
has no real form - but more a feeling she knew could only be associated   
with the objects of her search. As soon as she latched onto that   
distinct sensation, of being in their presence, she felt her   
surroundings change.  
  
This part of the Room of Gauf was different from that which held those   
who were still dreaming. It felt...colder, somehow, and the   
surrounding blue was darker than before. It also felt painfully   
familiar; this place was not a consensual prison, but a place to   
confine those who had been forcibly exiled from the rest of the world.   
This place had served as her prison where she had sat for a meaningless   
eternity, barred from ever returning to reality and yet forced to hear   
the thoughts of the Lilum, ever reminding her of a world she could   
never reach. The bitterness of this memory called up her deep-seated   
hatred for that monster Zero, the one who had confined her and her   
brethren here, content to let them rot for all time. She allowed   
herself a brief moment to think about what she would do to Zero, given   
half a chance - specifically, if that pathetic hybrid Tabris could be   
gotten out of the way. Simply killing her would be too forgiving.   
Condemning Zero to a place like this, a dark prison so deep that she   
could never return...that would at least be a start. It made her   
quiver with anticipation, even knowing it was just a dream.  
  
Beneath her lay the yawning maw darkness, now uncomfortably closer, but   
still a safe distance away. However, there was no sign of the ones she   
sought. No glow of a soul, nor the distant whispers of thoughts. Where   
had the others gone? Had they foolishly destroyed one another in a   
struggle for power? Supposedly it was impossible for one being to harm   
another in this place, but if anyone could find a way, it would be the   
former Angels. Had they left for some other place? No, Zero and   
Tabris had assured her that the only ways out of here were to become   
human, or to usurp one of the bodies of those accursed Evangelions. So   
they had to be here. But where?   
  
She again called up the sensations of those she wanted to find. She   
poured all of her thoughts into re-creating that feeling, their very   
essences. If she did it for long enough, she might just find her way to   
them.  
  
At first nothing happened. Then, she felt as if she was moving, at an  
ever-greater pace by the second. Soon she was near a cluster of a few   
shimmering lights. They seemed to recognize her, as they began to come   
closer. Suddenly, two of them came close and rested by her, and she   
found herself uttering their names.  
  
^Ramiel...Sandalphon.^  
  
^Yes, Arael. It is us.^  
  
She was a little caught off-guard by the use of her real name, but   
remembered that it was the only name they could possibly know her by.  
  
^Yes, Arael. It has been too long.^ Ariel recognized this voice as   
Ramiel's, by the feeling of security it carried. The other, then, with   
its sensation of vigor and youth, had to be Sandalphon's.   
  
^What news of the Lilum world do you bring to us?^ Ramiel asked.  
  
^I fear that will have to wait another time, my brethren. Please, tell   
me what has come to pass here.^  
  
^You are cruel, Arael,^ Sandalphon muttered. ^An eternity has passed   
since you were here, and you bring no news.^  
  
^You do not understand; I cannot remain here for long. Please, tell me   
what the others are doing. What are they planning to do with the   
copies of Father? I must know, and you are the ones who can tell me.^  
  
Ramiel answered. ^It is a long tale, and there is much even we do not   
know. Some of the others have withdrawn to consider what they will do,   
others have flocked at the promise of a second chance. Still others   
have gone...and they have never returned. What has become of them?   
Have they taken the form of a lilum as you have? I will freely admit   
that we fear for their safety. Though we may not be in agreement on   
all issues, we are the only companions we will ever have in this time   
of exile. We can no longer even feel those who departed our   
company...please, give us tidings of Sahaquiel, Bardiel, and Leliel.^  
  
Ariel felt some compulsion to break the news more easily to her   
friends, but the pressure of her time constraints pushed away all   
concern for formalities. She could only be blunt.  
  
^The others you speak of are...gone. They were annihilated, by the   
Lilum, and by their own folly. They dared challenge the Lilum again   
with the bodies left behind from the apocalypse, and they were killed.   
No, the true term is 'obliterated'. They have ceased to be.^  
  
Ariel could sense shock from the two, but it was only a pale mirror of   
her own, when she had found out for herself how far the others could go   
in their vain quest for lost power. She couldn't help blaming Zero for   
their deaths; whether or not the Angels had been correct in their mad   
quest for vengeance, she _had_ been the one to destroy them.  
  
After a moment of silence, her brethren spoke again. ^We grieve for   
your loss, brother,^ - again, Ariel was surprised, until she remembered   
that before she'd left, 'gender' had been a foreign concept to her -   
^We grieve that they wasted their last chance on a road that should   
never have been pursued. It is a shame they did not realize that   
revenge brings nothing.^  
  
^I grieve as well, for there will never be more of our kind. Father and   
Mother are gone. But we yet live, and while there is nothing we can do   
for them except make our peace, we still have a choice.^  
  
^Would you have us return with you?^ Sandalphon asked, a hint of   
naievety in his...its voice.  
  
For a while, Ariel didn't know what to say. She considered the offer,   
but decided there was still much for these to do here.  
  
^No, my brethren. For now you could do more good by remaining here.   
But, please tell me why our fellows must tread the fruitless road of   
vengeance.^  
  
Now it was their turn to pause. But slowly, they began to tell their   
story. Ramiel spoke first.  
  
^Before you left...before we learned our names...before we were even   
released into this communal state of exile, this affair had begun. You   
see, not all of us were imprisoned away from the others. Some of us   
were bunched together, where we spent an eternity tortured by the   
dreams of the lilum. To alleviate our pain, we spoke amongst   
ourselves, of why we were sentenced to this fate. Some of us believed   
it was what we deserved. Some believed we were tricked into this, that   
there was no way a petty facsimile could dare perform this blasphemy   
against us. Among those a few cried revenge, and more rallied to their   
calls. When we were freed...^  
  
Sandalphon, seeing its companion trail off, picked up the story. ^That   
was when the first of the Servants of the Lilum, otherwise known as the   
Evangelions, were found. Those who wanted vengeance saw them as   
opportunities, and often withdrew among themselves to discuss plans   
they would not share with us. Then, one of us decided to enter one of   
the Servants, and that one never returned.^  
  
^You would think that would have given them pause, but rather it only   
made them redouble their efforts. Still more left, and did not return.   
The two of us thought it was madness to again contest the Lilum, but   
something continued to pressure them into going. Those who go tell no   
one of why, nor of who sent them. But we believe we know who is   
sending them, though not why.^  
  
^Armisael.^ Ariel said, simply. It was not a question.  
  
There was only silence.  
  
^No need for hesitation,^ Ariel continued. ^I'm right, aren't I?^  
  
^How did you...^ Sandalphon began.  
  
^It spoke to me before I left. There was little doubt in my mind who   
could possibly be orchestrating this travesty.^  
  
A mental sigh from Ramiel. ^Yes. Yes, brother, you are correct.   
Armisael was the first to speak of vengeance, and argued vehemently for   
it. He said if we were to succeed, it would be we who would survive,   
and not the Lilum. He said we would bring down Armageddon onto the   
Lilum and this planet, a destruction so complete there would be nothing   
left. Aside from that, we know very little. He crowds those loyal to   
him very closely, and those who disagree, or hesitate for a moment to   
observe as we did, are cast out and branded traitors to our kind.^  
  
Ariel tensed a little, but did not say anything. ^Armisael? What are   
you doing?^ she wondered, subtly manipulating her AT field so as to   
keep that thought private.  
  
^We did consider following you into the world as you did, but we were   
afraid. We thought it best if you told us of how...the Lilum are   
treating you. Or perhaps they do not know what you are yet?^  
  
^Well...no, they are not aware of my existence. Not yet.^ She   
hesitated, thinking about the way Asuka and Shinji both looked at her,   
as though they _almost_ recognized her face. ^For the most part,   
anyway,^ she added on.  
  
^Then can we take our place in the world of the Lilum? We long to   
escape this prison, and that is the only key. Armisael draws more to   
him, despite those who die, and we wish to be free of his influence.^  
  
^No. As I said, there is still much you can do here. Can you reach   
any of the others for me?^  
  
^Yes,^ came Ramiel's voice, more confident than it had sounded just   
moments before. ^They may not listen readily to us, but we can reach   
them.^  
  
^Good. Tell them to...stand back and wait a while. Tell them _not_ to   
go to the copies of Father. Do anything you can to keep Armisael from   
sentencing those to die. Find out what you can of Armisael's plans.   
Anything before our time runs out.^  
  
^We will do what we can. But Armisael is a clever one. Out of all of   
us, you and it were the strongest when it came to affairs of the mind.   
Armisael can virtually read our thoughts. What concerns me is that it   
may also be capable of changing what we think.^  
  
Ariel shivered quietly, remembering the time Armisael had tried to   
break into her mind. She'd been able to fight off the attack, and had   
naively assumed that the others would be able to do likewise. But she   
hadn't taken a second to think that perhaps she'd been the best   
equipped to fight off Armisael's strike.  
  
She couldn't help thinking, just for a moment, that perhaps if she had   
remained here, the others would have had someone else to rally behind,   
someone strong enough to resist Armisael. Then perhaps this nightmare   
would not be happening. Maybe she could stay here, abandoning the   
world of the living so she could give her brethren a chance to think   
for themselves...  
  
Suddenly, at the edge of her awareness, Ariel felt the presence of   
something dark. It flickered away, but it left an impression on   
her...a feeling of absolute cold. Something was out there, but she   
could not tell _where_; the uncertainty only compounded her sudden   
feeling of dread.  
  
^What was that?^ There was no answer from her companions, but they   
slowly began to leave. The yellow glow of LCL began to impinge on her   
'reality', as her concentration faltered.  
  
^Ramiel? Sandalphon? Where are you going?^  
  
^You do not have much time. You must leave this place.^  
  
^Why?^ Another flicker, and the feeling was stronger this time.  
  
^Go, brother! It is coming for you!^ The lights vanished into the   
blue.  
  
^What? I see noth-^ She had no sooner thought those words when suddenly   
a wall of white overwhelmed her, blocking out sight of everything else.   
Something latched onto her, and she could not move. She screamed, but   
it died in her mind as she felt something latching onto her essence and   
causing to flicker wildly. Her very soul was being drained, and she   
heard some words that were slowly fading away with her consciousness...  
  
^Ah...the traitor has returned. You will make an excellent - ^  
  
But before it could finish speaking, Ariel's entire world exploded.  
  
***  
  
Kaoru clamped one hand down over Ariel's mouth as her eyes opened and   
she screamed. He managed to muffle most of the sound, but the   
intensity was such that he felt his entire arm vibrate.  
  
A sharp curse came from Kensuke, standing close by. "What? What's   
wrong?"  
  
"She's just a little surprised, Aida-kun," Kaoru said, soothingly. "No   
need to worry."  
  
Kensuke got to one knee, bringing him down to Kaoru's level. "Is she   
OK?"  
  
"I'm no doctor," Kaoru warned. "But..." - he paused to take his hand   
from her mouth and let her gasp in air - "...I would wager that she   
will be fine."  
  
Kensuke seemed to sag a little at this, as tension flowed out of him.   
"That's a relief. But..." - his eyes wandered down to the girl's body   
before he caught himself and looked away - "what was she _doing_,   
anyway?"  
  
Kaoru's eyes went down to the girl as well, though his locked with   
hers. The girl was still shuddering with each breath, but she was   
still able to focus on him long enough to see the sharp look he was   
giving her. It only took a moment, before she slammed her eyes shut   
again, tears of pain and frustration leaking from the corners.  
  
"Probably just swimming," Kaoru said, looking back up to Kensuke, who   
was still politely looking the other way. "She's been confined to the   
back seat of a car for the past several hours, remember."  
  
"Yeah, I guess. Makes sense," the other boy said, turning his head to   
look out at the sea. He'd found Kaoru walking this way and had decided   
to tag along; a walk had sounded about right after the claustrophobic   
ride back to the camp. They'd gotten here just in time to pull Ariel's   
limp form from the LCL. He didn't know exactly what had happened, but   
Kaoru had somehow gotten the girl to come to her senses.  
  
"I guess this particular sea is a bit more dangerous than you'd   
expect," Kaoru said. "Be honest with yourself, Aida-kun. When was the   
last time you were in it?"  
  
A corner of Kensuke's mouth quirked upwards. "Probably not since I   
dragged myself out of it."  
  
"Exactly." Kaoru looked back to to Ariel. "This girl would do well to   
stay out of that sea, wouldn't she?"  
  
"Well...Ariel, I hope you're OK," Kensuke said, quietly.  
  
At a glance from Kaoru, Ariel managed a nod.  
  
"I'll...I'll go wait over here, 'til you get dressed, okay?" Kensuke   
said hesitantly, before getting back to his feet and starting off.  
  
"I'll be with you in a moment, Aida-kun," Kaoru called after him.   
"I'll just make sure she stays awake."  
  
"All right."  
  
"I'd ask what you were attempting, Fifteenth," he said quietly, almost   
before Kensuke had gotten out of earshot. "But I suppose questions can   
wait. Being snapped back to your physical form so rapidly...you must   
be in a world of pain, now."  
  
As the girl moved to sit up, he leaned over to whisper into her ear.  
  
"Be thankful I take it upon myself to keep an eye on you," he said   
quietly to her. "And also know that you are walking on _very_ thin   
ice, Fifteenth."  
  
Ariel glanced over at him, saying nothing. But Kaoru could still see   
the impotent anger behind her eyes. Smiling a little smile to himself,   
he rose to his feet and joined Kensuke a few meters off, as they waited   
for Ariel to regain her composure.  
  
***  
  
"...so where the hell's my truck?" Lewis was asking, the next morning.   
The man's face and voice were as casual as could be, but Shinji   
couldn't help feeling that he would have little problem killing for the   
truth. Luckily for them, they had nothing to hide.  
  
"Don't look at me," Asuka said, crossing her arms and leaning back   
against the wall where she was standing. "Not our problem if the Eva   
likes your hardware."  
  
"It _is_ your problem, little girl," Lewis growled out, glancing   
briefly over at Asuka. He looked back to Misato and Ritsuko, closing   
his eyes for a moment and collecting himself. Asuka, on the other   
hand, bristled at the 'little girl' comment. She stepped forwards,   
fists clenching, only just held back by Shinji physically stepping in   
front of her.  
  
"Just hang on," Shinji whispered to Asuka.  
  
Asuka glared past Shinji, her face a stormcloud as she looked over at   
the American commander. "Move it, Shinji," she whispered. "He can't   
call me that."  
  
"Please, Asuka. Just wait until we can explain to him - "  
  
"OK, OK," the girl said, waving him off. But Shinji could tell from   
her voice that she was anything _but_ OK. Asuka went back to leaning   
against the wall, though she still stared daggers at Lewis. Shinji   
resumed his place standing next to her, glad that - for once - he   
wasn't on the receiving end that stare. He would probably have to   
listen to her rant about Lewis for the next hour, though.  
  
Ritsuko stood. "I'm afraid there was little we could do. The Eva we   
encountered could manipulate a Sea of Dirac." Upon seeing the blank   
look from Lewis, she quickly covered herself. "It's something akin to   
a black hole, to use a very rough analogy." At this, Lewis slowly   
nodded at her, before gesturing for her to go on.  
  
"Now, as we can see..." she said, rewinding the video camera's tape.   
The screen flickered with static as the images went in reverse, before   
Ritsuko hit the play button, putting things back into motion. On the   
screen, the white Eva was up to its waist in its Sea of Dirac, quickly   
sinking into the blackness. After it vanished, the view rippled as an   
AT field came into being over the small encampment they'd set up for   
the battle. And immediately, the ground vanished, becoming a pit of   
the most impenetrable black, swallowing everything it touched.  
  
"This is still just unbelieveable," Lewis said, looking away from the   
TV and up at Ritsuko. "I can't say I've ever seen anything that'll do   
_that_ to its target."  
  
"There _is_ a scientific theory backing up the existence of a Sea of   
Dirac, sir," Ritsuko began.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure," the man said, nodding. "But I'd never read it. If I   
wasn't so sure you hadn't tampered with the camera, I'd get the boys to   
put you all away." He glanced at the other three, throwing them a   
smile that showed a little too much teeth to be friendly. Then, he   
glanced back at Ritsuko. "So where's my truck, then?"  
  
"Look right...here," Ritsuko said, hitting the pause button. The image   
froze, allowing her to point to an indeterminate shape on the edge of   
the screen. "Unfortunately, Aida-san didn't get a good shot of it.   
But you can see the edge of your Humvee here," she said, her finger   
brushing up against the image on the screen. Even though only a corner   
of steel could be seen, there was still no mistaking the blocky shape   
of a Humvee.  
  
"And here, we can see it beginning to sink down," Ritsuko continued,   
starting the tape again. "Unfortunately, we don't see much," she said,   
as the view shifted away, scrolling the truck entirely off the screen   
as Kensuke had gone to film another portion of the encampment. "But I   
can...personally attest that the Humvee was, for the greater part,   
absorbed," Ritsuko continued, fighting down the memory of shadowy death   
coming to take her away.  
  
Lewis blinked. "It ate my truck?" he asked, slightly perturbed.  
  
"I can't say it truly 'ate' your vehicle," Ritsuko said, sitting down   
again. "But yes, most of the Humvee was lost in the Sea of Dirac."  
  
Lewis looked at her. "It _ate_ my truck?"  
  
Ritsuko let out a brief sigh. "Yes," she said, simply. "You could   
look at it that way, if you want."  
  
The American commander let out a low whistle. He rewound the tape and   
started watching it again from the beginning.   
  
A very still silence followed, as the Major rewound the tape and played   
it again. His eyes seemed to be roving, searching for any hint, any  
sign that he would not have to deal with the full meanings of this,   
that there was something out there that both he and his men with all of   
their vaunted weapons were utterly powerless to destroy. The only   
sounds for a while were the recorded screams and unearthly cries   
emanating from the TV. No one dared bother him in his rumination.  
  
Suddenly the Major shut off the set and reached into his pocket,   
searching somewhat frantically for something. Taking out a cigarette,   
he fished around for a lighter and finally found it. He then ignited   
the flame with a "clik-chik", lit his cigarette, and took a long, deep   
drag as he closed his eyes, savouring the calming smoke in his lungs   
and throat. He did it as if it were a routine action, very much  
rehearsed, but then he sputtered and began to cough violently. Clouds   
of blue smoke filled the tent until he steadied himself, then hawked in   
his throat and spat. The gob of spittle splashed against the tent   
wall, inches from Ritsuko's head. It didn't perturb the former   
scientist one bit, though she did step away. Lewis then took the tape   
out of the VCR and began to critically examine it, as if he found   
something intensely interesting with his own reflection in the clear   
plastic. He stared for a while at it, deep in thought.  
  
When he raised his head again, he said: "I guess I have no choice _but_   
to believe you. But it'll take more than just one tape and a missing   
truck to convince the brass back home. What's left of the old medal-  
clanking farts anyway. It's an excuse, at the least, for me to get   
more supplies that you can use."  
  
There was a visible release of tension from around the room, along with   
a brief exchange of smiles between everyone. They began to file out,   
one at a time, each thinking about what would happen next; though they   
all had things they wanted to ask of the American commander, they could   
see that Lewis wasn't paying attention.   
  
Misato was the last one out. Looking back, she could see the man still   
sitting in his chair, staring forlornly at the dead gray surface of the   
TV screen, moving his glowing cigarette between his teeth and taking   
long drags. Finally, he shook his head and spoke to no one in   
particular.  
  
"It ate my truck."  
  
The cigarette seemed to be shrinking at a fast rate.  
  
"It _ate_ my truck."  
  
Now the burning edge was dangerously close to his lips.  
  
"It _ate_. My _truck._"  
  
He spat the cigarette off into a corner where it hissed impotently on   
the ground. He covered his eyes with one hand, slumping in his chair.   
"Son of a _bitch_."  
  
He was interrupted in his ruminations as Misato walked up to him.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, looking between his fingers at the woman.  
  
"Major, there's something me and the others were talking about on the   
way back, and we think it might help us out. Even more than whatever   
you can bring in from the States."  
  
"This oughta be good," Lewis said, leaning back in his chair and   
tilting it up on its back two legs. "What is it?"  
  
"Well, first of all, can you bring in a lifting helicopter or two?   
Something that can lift up a lot of weight."  
  
Lewis shrugged. "Probably, if I asked real nice. What for?"  
  
Misato grinned. "Well, you see..."  
  
***  
  
"You _sure_ this is safe?" Lewis was asking, days later.  
  
Ritsuko and Misato nodded in unison. "It is standard operating   
procedure to drop from high altitude," Ritsuko answered. "As opposed   
to landing and offloading. The equipment can handle the shock of   
impact."  
  
"Yeah, but that hole's making me wonder..."  
  
"There is evidence that, even when damaged, they can still survive a   
high-velocity impact without suffering much further damage. This small   
drop presents very little danger."  
  
Lewis shrugged. "It's your problem if it breaks," he said. "Just   
thought I'd check, first." He raised a radio up to his mouth. "OK,   
let 'er rip," he said, in English.  
  
Above their heads, four powerful lifting helicopters simultaneously   
released their lifting cables, letting their cargo drop. A vague   
shadow on the ground suddenly began to grow larger and larger until,   
with an ear-splitting CRASH, a large, metallic, and white humanoid form   
replaced it on the ground, its once bright red eyes now dull and dead.  
  
The broken body of Unit-04 had been lifted up from the place it had met   
its demise just a few days earlier. The Americans had managed to carry   
it here without much trouble, and now, it had finally reached its   
destination. It rested limply where it had fallen, no further damage   
readily noticeable.  
  
Lewis scratched his head, watching. "Guess you people make your robots   
good, huh?"  
  
"Actually, Unit-04 was made in America," Misato commented.  
  
Lewis glanced at her. "Really?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.  
  
Misato's jaw clenched as it dawned on her what she'd just said. "Well,   
that is...uh..."  
  
Lewis let out a short laugh, shaking his head. "Oh, get off it. What   
would I do with a giant robot, anyway? Let's just say we're loaning it   
to you or something."  
  
Misato nodded. "All right, then. There's a few things we're going to   
need from you, then."  
  
"Shoot. Just eyeballing it, I'd say you need a mechanic," Lewis   
replied, looking at the Eva's chest. A hole large enough to accomodate   
a semi truck had been punched through, front to back.  
  
"Yeah," Misato said. "Fixing that would be nice, but I don't know   
where you're going to get materials."  
  
Lewis shrugged. "Maybe we'll get lucky. But, bare minimum, what does   
that sucker need to work, anyway?"  
  
"We'll need to run a few tests," Ritsuko replied, cutting off Misato.   
"But we can assume that the S2 engine is beyond repair."  
  
"Which means...?"  
  
"We'll need to run it off of external power. Major, can you   
appropriate a large generator?"  
  
"_How_ large, exactly?"  
  
Ritsuko told him.  
  
Lewis's jaw dropped. He just stared at the doctor for a few seconds,   
before he started shaking his head. "Sure," he said comically. "Just   
let me get my portable nuke reactor out here, and we'll be set." He   
stopped joking around and gave Ritsuko a withering stare. "If I had   
that kind of power on tap, I'd have the whole camp lit up, lady. Is   
there an alternative?"  
  
"The batteries," Ritsuko said, unruffled. "Though they'll only last a   
few minutes, and we'll still need to improvise a way to charge them up.   
But I'll figure something out."  
  
"Right. So what else?"  
  
"Well..." Ritsuko replied, putting one finger to her mouth in thought.   
"Supposing the Dummy Plug inside is serviceable, we should be able to   
use the Eva. Perhaps Nagisa or Rei could control it remotely." She   
shrugged. "If all else fails, we'll modify the Dummy Plug to   
accomodate a human pilot."  
  
Lewis snorted out a laugh. "Right. Where're you gonna find someone   
dumb enough to climb into that thing?"  
  
Misato cut in. "Doesn't matter to _you_ does it?" she asked, with a   
smile.  
  
Lewis returned the grin. "Quite true," he replied. "So now what?"  
  
"We start running tests, Major. And you start bringing in everything   
you can get."  
  
***  
  
Shinji looked out the thin plastic window of what had become the   
"medical tent", out at the land beyond.  
  
It had been a couple of weeks since they'd returned from the last   
battle. In that time, the Americans had brought in all manner of   
weapons; mortar launchers, missile batteries, anti-aircraft guns, and   
even a few tanks. Lewis still wasn't satisfied.   
  
He turned away from the window, eyeing Ritsuko in the tent. "But that   
still doesn't answer my question, Akagi-san."  
  
Ritsuko let out a low sigh. "It's all I have to work off of," she   
said. "Though I'll admit it's all just theory and postulation."  
  
"Yes, but..." Shinji began, looking back out the window. "You said the   
Eva was tracking AT fields. How'd it find Rei, then?"  
  
Ritsuko smirked. "You sound just like your father, when you say that."  
  
Shinji closed his eyes. He shook his head at her observation, but he   
continued. "Maybe. But Rei was almost absorbed by that..._thing_, and   
I have no idea of why. How could it find her like that?"  
  
"As I said previously, Ikari," Ritsuko began, "the first theory is that   
the Eva was saw her earlier and then remembered her location the next   
time it appeared." She paused, making sure to finish the sentence so   
that anyone would be able to tell she didn't believe the theory, sound   
though it might be. "The alternative," she continued, once she'd felt   
the tension had built up enough in Shinji, "is that Rei was herself   
generating an AT field strong enough that she could be noticed."  
  
Shinji shook his head, opening his eyes again. "But that's just...not   
_possible_," he said, his voice desperate. "She's just a normal girl,   
now! I thought that was how it went. No more Angels, right?"  
  
Ritsuko looked at him, taking a seat as she tried to relax. "Can you   
really say that, in all honesty?" she asked, her voice going cold.   
"You saw the attack pattern of the last one. _You_ of all people   
should have been able to recognize it." Her voice almost sounded   
accusatory, blaming Shinji for not accepting what was right in front of   
him.  
  
"But...but that pattern changed, Akagi-san. When its chest blew up   
like that, it - "  
  
"I think that was the Dummy Plug inside the Eva taking over. Whatever   
had been suppressing it earlier had either died or otherwise gone   
dormant, so the Dummy could take control of the Eva again." She   
paused for a moment, letting that sink in before she continued. "But I   
am willing to believe that there was some external influence on the Eva   
before the Dummy took over. That, plus the other two, both followed   
patterns of the numbered Angels."  
  
Shinji nodded, looking away from her. Ritsuko didn't say anything; she   
didn't need to. Finally, Shinji found words to speak.  
  
"That's another thing, Akagi-san. How's the work going on the Eva?   
The white one, I mean."  
  
"It's far from functional," Ritsuko replied, shrugging. "Without any   
kind of advanced facilities, I doubt we'll ever be able to repair it.   
But if we can charge its batteries, it should be able to move for a   
brief time. The problem then is just the control factor."  
  
"Yeah..." Shinji said, trailing off. "Do you think Kaoru-kun will be   
able to control two at once?"  
  
"You should ask _him_, Ikari. I don't know myself."  
  
Shinji blinked. "Right..."  
  
"Right now my biggest concern with Unit-04 is that the programming of   
its Dummy Plug may have been corrupted by whatever was suppressing it   
in the first place. So unless we can get an intact copy of Rei or   
Nagisa's personal data to rewrite it, there's too much danger to try   
starting it again."  
  
"Yeah, I...what?"  
  
"Yes, Ikari?"  
  
"What do you mean, Rei or Kaoru-kun's 'personal data'?"  
  
Ritsuko cocked an eyebrow, looking at him. Shinji saw a smile tugging   
at one corner of her lips. It was not a warm one. Actually, it was   
more of a smirk than a smile, as if she was keeping a secret from him   
to torment him. He would never have expected Ritsuko to ever enjoy   
something so childish, but he had to know.  
  
"Akagi-san, please."  
  
She finally nodded. "I forgot, you didn't know. The basic program for   
the Dummy Plug was based off of data taken from those two. NERV's   
version was based on Rei, while those in the Production Series Evas   
were based off of Nagisa."  
  
Shinji just kept staring at her, his face disbelieving.  
  
"Actually, come to think of it," Ritsuko said, bringing one finger to   
her chin as though just remembering something. "I'm interested in what   
we'll find inside Unit-04's Dummy. Unit-00 is much the same as it is;   
a reconfigured Production Series Eva. But when I ran tests on Unit-  
00's Dummy plug, I found it had been reprogrammed. If Nagisa's   
personal data was ever there, it isn't there now."  
  
"And..." Shinji asked, fear and curiosity battling within him.   
"And...and who...I mean _what_, is in there, now?"  
  
"Rei's data," Ritsuko said bluntly. "I'd know it anywhere."  
  
Shinji went quiet at this. He was quite obviously not thinking over   
what to say in response; the boy didn't have words to express his   
feelings. The shock of what Ritsuko had so offhandedly revealed was   
written all over his face.  
  
"Don't worry about it too much, Ikari," Ritsuko said casually, almost   
too casually, as if she was hiding something. There was nothing on her   
face that told of it, though. She turned away, looking at the papers   
laid out on a nearby table. She wasn't at all interested in the   
papers. She'd turned to hide her smile, which had grown.  
  
"The computer 'mind' of the Dummy Plug is far from a perfect copy of   
its basis. It's impossible to truly digitize a human mind or soul."  
  
"Yes, but..."  
  
Shinji was unable to finish his statement. His eyes lost focus as he   
sank into thought. Ritsuko pretended not to care. Finally, Shinji   
shook his head.  
  
"Well, th...thanks anyway, Akagi-san," he said, heading for the tent   
flap.   
  
Ritsuko shook her head, letting a short bark of a laugh escape her,   
almost before he'd left.  
  
^Could almost convince myself he was his father,^ she thought. ^Now   
that was almost _too_ enjoyable. Gendo was never so easily shaken.^  
  
***  
  
On the other side of the camp, Asuka and Hikari were taking a walk.  
  
"It's moving pretty fast now," Hikari was saying. "I wouldn't believe   
it, if I didn't see it happening right in front of me."  
  
"Uh huh," Asuka said, lacing her fingers together behind her head.   
"Me, _I'm_ not surprised the Americans wanna show off all their toys."  
  
Hikari replied with just a smile.  
  
"I mean, _look_ at all that," Asuka said, gesturing in the general   
direction of the American camp, to the mass of tents, scurrying   
soldiers, and hundreds of tons of cold steel that now formed the   
growing American camp. It was a veritable legion, enough to conquer the   
entire island of Japan and then some. Most of the military hardware   
looked ready to open fire on any target, at any time. "That's just a   
waste, Hikari. Not like it'd actually be _worth_ much."  
  
Hikari shrugged, staring at the ground just in front of her feet.   
"Maybe. But I think it's nice that they want to help."  
  
Asuka snorted and looked away. "Their commander's just pissed about   
his truck, that's all."  
  
"Hm."  
  
They continued walking, in silence for a while.  
  
"So..." Asuka began, slowly. "So...how're you doing, then?"  
  
Hikari smiled again. "Not much longer," she said, quietly. "A few   
days ago, I went to see one of the doctors the Americans have. He said   
not much longer, before..." she trailed off, her grin expanding.  
  
Asuka nodded. "Good luck," she said, simply. "I hope that baka Touji   
knows what he's getting into."  
  
Hikari rubbed her stomach. "He does," she said, a warm smile widening   
on her face. "He does."  
  
Sensing that Hikari was about to go mushy, Asuka quietly took a step   
away from her old friend. She glanced over at the still-prone form of   
Eva-04. The once-mighty but now fallen giant lay face down in the   
dirt, embedded in its own impact crater. It also happened to be the   
site of almost as much activity as either camp. Heavy equipment had   
been shipped in over the past few days, along with as many engineers as   
the Americans had been able to scrape together.  
  
It was a little strange...its head was turned an exaggerated angle to   
its side, and its hands lay open and unresisting at its sides. It   
looked almost comical, as if it had somehow slipped and fell, but its   
staring, dull, red, eyes were anything but dead. Though the gaping   
hole in its chest plates reassured Asuka that Unit-04 was now harmless,   
the eyes seemed a little too bright for a dead creature. They   
possessed neither pupils nor whites, but their crimson gaze seemed to   
follow her as she walked past it.  
  
"Be interesting if they could get that thing working again," Asuka   
said, nodding at the Eva.  
  
Hikari shrugged. "Maybe. But doesn't it bother you?"  
  
It was now Asuka's turn to shrug. "Don't care," she said,   
nonchalantly. "Not my problem, not yet anyway."  
  
"You aren't afraid you'd have to pilot it...are you?" Hikari asked,   
turning to look at the redhead.  
  
Asuka's eyes widened, and she stumbled on a rock. After she regained   
her balance, she found herself looking back at the destroyed   
Evangelion. She had accepted some time ago that her Unit-02 was   
destroyed. She didn't need a reminder of what Eva brought into her   
life...  
  
Though, for a moment, she couldn't help but consider the possibility.   
She could see herself at the helm of the monster, once again in control   
of the greatest power in the world. Nothing would stand in her way,   
and she would be both feared and loved...  
  
^What am I _thinking_?^ she thought, as she returned to reality. Unit-  
04 looked nothing like a glorious beast of war, laid out on the ground   
as it was. And its white "skin" and red eyes reminded her a little too   
much of something else. Or rather, some_one_ else.  
  
She tossed her head and threw Hikari a winning smile. "_Me_? Afraid?   
Ha! I'd climb into that thing and teach everyone something about   
piloting!"  
  
Hikari nodded, going silent as Asuka put on her old, confident face   
that was all too familiar. She knew it was something her friend needed   
to keep for now, but sometimes she wished Asuka would just drop the old   
routine.  
  
Asuka straightened out, regaining her composure. "Honestly, Hikari,   
where do you get these ideas?" she said, trying to sound exasperated,   
but unable to keep all the nervousness out of her voice. A moment   
passed, as neither of them could think of anything to say.  
  
"Not like I have time to go play around with one of those," she   
proclaimed, gesturing at the Eva without looking at it. The note of   
regret was still evident in her voice. "We'd need to find someone   
else. Of course he'd still have to come to _me_ for his piloting   
lessons," she finished. "Baka Shinji might've been able to get one to   
_move_ easy enough, but you need real talent to do anything impressive   
with an Eva."  
  
"Too bad we don't have aircraft carriers for you to jump around on,"   
Hikari commented jokingly, remembering the story Asuka had told her   
time and again about her first encounter with an Angel. "That could be   
a final exam for an Eva pilot."  
  
"Heh," Asuka snorted. "Maybe." ^Or throw him against a floating   
_tank_, that you just _can't_hurt_, and see how long he lasts,^ Asuka   
thought to herself. ^But then...what if he actually _wins_?^ She   
shook her head to herself. ^Nah.^  
  
"So do you have anyone in mind already?" Hikari asked. "To pilot, that   
is."  
  
"Nothing really official. We haven't really talked about it, so the   
position's up for grabs if you know someone who wants it."  
  
"I don't know," Hikari replied. Asuka said nothing in response to   
this. When Hikari looked over at her friend, she saw the German girl   
was looking at her, and in a strange way...  
  
"_No_," Hikari said, simply, shaking her head vigorously. "You won't   
get me in one of those, Asuka. I'm your friend, but I don't go _that_   
far," she continued.   
  
"Oh, that's fine, Hikari. You've got other things to worry about, I   
know. But it _would_ be nice if we could convince someone with some   
experience."  
  
Hikari's eyes widened in surprise. "You wouldn't dare."  
  
Asuka shrugged. "Well, he's gotten into one before, you know."  
  
"And we all know how well _that_ went!" Hikari shouted back. "Asuka, I   
don't believe you! Do you think he'd _ever_ touch an Eva again?"  
  
"Why don't you ask him? You never know."  
  
Hikari's eyes narrowed in a rage Asuka had never seen in the other girl   
before. It was enough to make the German girl back off a step,   
reflexively twitching her arms in anticipation of a blow.  
  
Hikari turned away, turning up her nose. "He won't and that's final,"   
she declared. "My Touji's never getting close to an Eva again...if I   
can help it, anyway."  
  
Asuka smirked. "Yeah, I guess not," she said. ^Not the way you've got   
him henpecked, anyway.^  
  
A long, uncomfortable silence passed between the girls, neither of them   
saying a word to one another, and each trying not to look and see what   
the other was doing. Asuka knew she'd crossed a line somewhere back   
there, but she fought off her guilt easily enough, telling herself that   
it was for the good of everyone. She _did_ have responsibilities to   
the camp, after all.  
  
"Now, I don't know all the details, but I don't think Kaoru-kun would   
be able to pilot it, either," Hikari finally said. "Maybe you could   
get Rei into it..."  
  
Asuka shook her head violently. "_No_," she said, just as vehemently   
as Hikari had, just a moment ago. "If it comes down to that, _I'd_   
rather pilot the damn thing."  
  
Hikari gave Asuka a confused look. "Why? What's so bad about Rei   
pilot - "  
  
"Wondergirl has other things to worry about, too," Asuka interupted,   
returning Hikari's glance with a burning stare. "And that's that."  
  
Hikari paused for a moment, giving Asuka a few seconds to cool off and   
herself some time to think it over. "What do you have against Rei,   
anyway?" she asked, finally. "What has she ever done to you?"  
  
The look Asuka gave her at that last comment would be burned into   
Hikari's mind for weeks afterwards. It was not one of anger; that   
would have been almost normal for the German girl. This was something   
subtly different, and infinitely more frightening. Asuka's face seemed   
almost calm, not twisted into a mask of fury as was often the case.   
But the look in her eyes made up for it; the intense stare from those   
crystal blue eyes seemed to burn through Hikari. The anger was all   
there, but around Asuka's eyes...there were traces of something else.   
Sadness, or frustration perhaps.  
  
"That..._girl_ can't tell when she's not wanted," Asuka said in a low   
voice, maintaining eye contact with Hikari, who found she was unable to   
look away.  
  
"Are..." Hikari paused, wondering if she should tempt the fates. "Are   
you still angry about her...you know, saving you way back when?" she   
asked, in a small voice.  
  
"Good example," Asuka replied, sarcastically. "She was an intervening   
little bitch back then, too. But you know what? She's gotten worse."   
These last words were said in a quiet, almost conspiratory tone.  
  
Hikari flinched slightly at Asuka's description of Rei, hating to see   
her friend feel that way about someone else. She said nothing;   
something told her Asuka had more to say.  
  
"I mean...it's taken me _two_years_ to get this far," Asuka began,   
angrily. She started walking quickly, forcing Hikari to nearly run to   
keep up, holding her bulging stomach with both hands.  
  
"I've had to _work_ at it, you know?" Asuka continued, apparently   
unaware of how quickly she was moving, or how Hikari was struggling to   
stay even with her. "Every...god-damn _day_, I've had to work at it.   
Like I'm pulling _teeth_, for Christ's sake. But I look back and I've   
really gotten somewhere. The kid actually had balls in him. Who knew?   
But now this...conniving little..." - Asuka muttered a long word in   
German, which Hikari could only guess at the meaning of - "...comes in   
and she's just..._taking_ him away, like it's no trouble at all!"   
  
Her head whipped over to look at Hikari so fast she must have nearly   
broken her own neck. "Is that fair?! Tell me, really, doesn't she   
_know_ it's not fair to just waltz in and _steal_ someone's..." she   
broke off, ending in a barely contained shout of frustration, which   
came out between clenched teeth.  
  
Hikari was, by this point, panting. She'd been exempt from the   
physical labor nearly everyone else had been doing for the past months,   
and it showed. "Asuka, could you...please...slow _down_?"  
  
Asuka finally noticed that her friend was running to keep up, and   
halted so abruptly that Hikari nearly fell over in her effort to stop.  
  
"Sorry," Asuka grumbled out, almost too quiet to hear. She started   
again, at a slower pace. Hikari followed alongside her, breathing   
hard. The girl had a wealth of questions to ask of Asuka concerning   
this recent outburst. But she knew from experience that at times like   
this it was best to stay quiet. Asuka at the moment seemed calm, but   
Hikari had a suspicion it was the kind of calm seen in an active   
volcano.  
  
"I've actually got a question," Asuka began. She continued before   
Hikari could say anything. "When did she become 'Rei' to you, anyway?"  
  
As an experienced mediator in arguments, Hikari knew to choose her next   
words carefully. She gave herself time to think by taking a few more   
deep breaths.   
  
"I just...thought she looked lonely," she finally said. "A little   
different from before. It's not like she doesn't care about other   
people, anymore. More like...she might want to know people a little   
better, but she doesn't know how to do that. And...I _am_ the Class   
Rep, Asuka. It's my job to make people feel accepted."  
  
At first, Asuka said nothing. Then:  
  
"Suit yourself," she commented, the nonchalance in her voice much too   
blatant for it to be genuine.  
  
Hikari went quiet. There'd been something in Asuka's voice when she'd   
said that. In the time Hikari had known her, Asuka had gotten mad at   
her for the smallest things, and sometimes even for no fault of her   
own. But though Hikari could sense the girl was angry - Asuka was   
almost radiating fury - something sounded different about her. There   
was no explosion of anger, this time; instead it was as though, in the   
space of time it had taken Asuka to say those two words, she had gone   
from being a trusted friend to being a complete stranger. Hikari felt   
a sick feeling come over her, as she wondered if something   
irreplaceable had just been lost.  
  
"Asuka, I'm sor - "  
  
Asuka held up a hand, signaling for her to stop. "No. It's okay,   
Hikari." No trace of warmth when she said her name. "If it's _that_   
important to you, go ask Ayanami what my problem is with her. She'll   
know." Asuka paused. "She's just plain _dense_ to everything around   
her, but that, she'll know."  
  
Another pause from Hikari. "Asuka, will you just listen? I didn't   
mean to hurt you."  
  
Asuka nodded primly. "Yes, I know."   
  
'But you did anyway.' The words begged to be added on.  
  
"I think I'll catch up with you later," Asuka said, halting. "I've got   
some...work to do."  
  
Hikari looked at her friend...or ex-friend. ^No, she wouldn't give up   
that easily. She's just mad.^ She mostly believed herself. Mostly.  
  
She nodded slowly, managing to keep her eyes dry but could not keep the   
sadness out of them. "Well...all right, Asuka. I'll...see you later."  
  
***  
  
"Good shot," Kensuke remarked.  
  
"It's nothin'," Lewis replied, lowering the rifle, not bothering to   
blow off the smoking barrel. He held the gun off to the side without   
looking. "This one's good," he said, in English. "Next."  
  
A soldier waiting nearby took the rifle and handed Lewis another,   
similar gun. As this was happening, the hapless bird Lewis had   
targeted earlier finally hit the ground. Lewis loaded a bullet into   
the gun.  
  
"Where'd you learn how to shoot like that?" Kensuke asked, amazed.  
  
"Practice, kid," came the reply, the Major smoothly switching back to   
Japanese. He squinted and squeezed the trigger. Another sharp gunshot   
rung out, and another bird hit the ground. "Lots and lots of it," he   
finished, almost wistfully. "Me and my old man'd go out and do this   
all day, way back when." He paused, lost temporarily in some old   
memory. "This one's good, too," he finally said, holding out the gun   
to the soldier.  
  
A drawn-out "Cooooooool," was all Kensuke could say. His eyes followed   
Lewis' practiced hand motions as the man loaded a bullet into the next   
gun. The man didn't even have to look at what he was doing.  
  
Lewis smirked, noticing the attention he was getting. But before he   
could take aim, he was interrupted. The roar of an engine, followed by   
the squeal of protesting tires, sounded not five meters from them.  
  
Lewis turned, raising his sunglasses long enough to get a look at the   
new arrival. It was his new truck, a banged-up Land Rover. It had   
arrived in the past few days, along with the other equipment.  
  
"How'd it go?" he asked.  
  
Shinji, looking quite shaken up, managed to crawl out of the driver's   
seat of the Land Rover. "Oh, it's OK..." he said, before sitting down   
hard on the ground.  
  
An American soldier got out of the passenger seat and said something in   
English to Lewis. Whatever they said must have been funny, because   
both men started laughing, in the derisive manner when the laugh is at   
someone else's cost. Lewis passed the soldier a pack of cigarettes out   
of his shirt pocket and then turned back to the boys.  
  
"What was that?" Kensuke asked, after checking to make sure Shinji was   
really okay.  
  
"Just a friendly bet," Lewis remarked, smiling. "We gotta use cigs   
though...not like the paper stuff's really worth anything, anymore.   
Makes me feel like I'm a prison inmate, or something."  
  
"I guess," Kensuke said, before kneeling down next to Shinji. "So   
how'd it go?"  
  
"Oh, I just _almost_ flipped over the Major's truck," Shinji said,   
trying to smile.  
  
Kensuke raised his eyebrows. "How'd you pull that one off?"  
  
"That soldier was insane..." Shinji remarked, getting up. "Kept making   
me go faster when I didn't think I could. Until he told me to turn,   
and I forgot to hit the brakes first, and, well..."  
  
Kensuke looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. He managed   
to give Shinji a nod before turning back to Lewis. "Aren't you worried   
they're gonna wreck your truck?"  
  
Lewis flinched, having been just about to fire off another shot. He   
lowered the gun and looked down at Kensuke.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Shinji said, remembering. He bowed ceremoniously to Lewis.   
"Thank you, sir, for letting me use your personal vehicle."  
  
Lewis waved him off, smiling. "Actually, I'm _hoping_ one of you   
manages to wreck that damn machine," he said to Kensuke, tilting his   
head towards the Land Rover. "That's bureaucracy for you, kid," he   
continued, shaking his head. "I asked for another Humvee, and they   
sent me a friggin' _Land_Rover_ instead. Figure if I can destroy this   
one, too, maybe they'll wise up and give me what I asked for in the   
first place."  
  
Kensuke blinked. "I guess that makes sense..."  
  
Lewis glanced over at Shinji. "So what do you think of our...heh...   
'crash' course in driving?"  
  
Shinji nodded. "I guess it's the quickest way to learn," he said.   
"But it's really stressful."  
  
"Welcome to the world, kid," Lewis said, raising the rifle up again.  
  
Kensuke waited until Lewis had fired another shot before he took a   
breath to speak. Lewis, having missed the target this time, didn't   
notice until Kensuke started talking.  
  
"Uh...Major..." he began.  
  
"Yeah?" Lewis said angrily. He held out the rifle to the nearby   
soldier, muttering something in English, presumably about the gun's aim   
being off. He received the next gun and started loading in a bullet.  
  
"I was just wondering, but do you think Shinji here _is_ really just a   
kid?" he asked, gesturing at Shinji, who was giving Kensuke a surprised   
look. Lewis, for his part, just looked down at the boy waiting for   
him to finish.  
  
"I mean, I know he's young..." Kensuke tried to begin, but trailed off   
at the gaze from the Major. It was mostly in his head, but having seen   
Lewis calmly pick birds out of the sky, _and_ still holding a loaed   
rifle, he found his resolve was faltering.  
  
"But he's been responsible for why you're still alive, right?" Lewis   
asked, a note of cynicism evident in his voice, even through the   
American accent.  
  
"Kensuke, you don't have to - "  
  
"No, no," Lewis said, cutting Shinji off. "Your pal's just tryin' to   
help you out, and I gotta respect that." He looked back to Kensuke.   
"Because I can see when someone's grown up, that's why," he said. At   
that, he turned back to the rifle, flicking the safety off and glancing   
back up to the sky.  
  
"What d'you mean by that?" Kensuke asked, momentarily forgetting his   
defense of Shinji out of interest in what the Major was saying.  
  
"Just gotta look for it, son," Lewis said. Apparently unsatisfied with   
the targets in the sky, he lowered his gun without firing. "It's the   
way they move...the way they look at things, I guess. Kinda gives away   
something about them." He paused, glancing around. "Like, uh...well,   
damn. Right over there," he said, pointing.  
  
Both of the boys turned, to see Ariel walking a slow circuit around one   
of the handful of tanks parked in the American camp. One hand was   
reaching out to trace the cold metal surface as she walked by it.  
  
"She's got it," Lewis continued. "I can see it, even if you can't."  
  
"You mean she's..." Kensuke began. He turned a little red. "...known   
the pleasure of a man, so to speak?"  
  
Lewis laughed loudly. "Dunno about _that_, son," he said, amicably.   
"But I wouldn't be surprised if she's killed someone before."  
  
Both of the boys blinked in unison, disbelieving. "But she's..._our_   
age," Kensuke said. "How could she..."  
  
Lewis shrugged. "Dunno."   
  
The Major glanced at Shinji, who looked like he was about to say   
something.   
  
"And not just killed someone out of weakness," he continued, keeping an   
eye on Shinji from behind his sunglasses. "Or because someone else   
told her to. No...she had to have _wanted_ to do it, if only a little   
bit."  
  
Shinji calmed down quickly, all trace of what he'd been about to say   
vanishing from his face.  
  
"So don't get it mixed up," Lewis said, pointing a finger at Kensuke.   
"Killing someone don't make you a man. Most people can't handle it,   
and they go a little crazy. You know, staring off into space, whacking   
off over comatose girls, stuff like that."  
  
Shinji somehow went pale _and_ blushed at the same time. Kensuke   
wished he had his camera, to get that expression on tape. He also made   
a mental note to ask Shinji what was the matter, later on of course.   
  
Then he looked back over to Ariel. A bird had come down from the sky,   
landing on her outstretched hand as though called by her. Even as he   
watched, a second bird came down and landed on her shoulder. Ariel   
didn't seem surprised in the slightest, and even looked pleasantly   
amused, as if it were something that, although nice, happened every   
day. She smiled, and cupped one of the singing birds in her hand. In   
Kensuke's eyes, nothing seemed more right...  
  
^The girl's practically glowing,^ he thought.  
  
"Except she's got amnesia, from what I hear," Shinji said. "If she   
_had_...you know...then she wouldn't remember it."  
  
Lewis shrugged, rolling his eyes at the apprehension both boys were   
showing. He took aim again. This time, at a target much closer to the   
ground. "Figure I can pick that one off her shoulder?" he asked,   
throwing Kensuke a mischievious glance.   
  
Kensuke's eyes widened. "NO! Wait, don't!"  
  
Lewis laughed. "Oh, c'mon," he said, clapping the boy on the back.   
"I'm not _that_ crazy," he said, as he lowered the gun.  
  
Kensuke still watched the man warily. Shrugging, Lewis took aim at the   
sky again. "You boys need to lighten up. Why don't you come by here   
around sunset? With all this new stuff, my men feel like showing off a   
little. Good way to relax. We even got some barbecues ready."  
  
"You mean you have fresh meat?" Shinji asked, incredulous. "Where are   
you getting that from? What kind of meat?"  
  
Lewis pulled the trigger, and another bird dropped out of the sky.   
"Whatever that was," he said, jerking his thumb towards the plumetting   
corpse.  
  
Not too far off, Ariel's eyes tracked the trajectory of the shower of   
blood and feathers that, until recently, had been a bird. She closed   
her eyes and shook her head slowly, before throwing the three boys an   
accusatory glance and turning around, making a point not to pay any   
attention to them.  
  
***  
  
The Americans had not only shipped in engines of war. Now that it was   
clear they were going to be staying awhile, they'd brought in enough to   
make their camp into something more hospitable. Among the   
'essentials' were things the Japanese had not seen in a long while.   
Barbecue grills, generators, stereos, and refrigerators could be found   
among their equipment. The sheer novelty of this was more than enough   
to draw several of the Japanese survivors over to the American camp, as   
the sun began to set.  
  
"OK, who wants a cold one?" Lewis asked loudly, holding up a few   
bottles.  
  
"Ha!" Asuka said, turning away and putting her hands on her hips. "I'm   
not going near that fermented piss you Americans pretend is beer!"  
  
"Actually, Ms. Soryu," Lewis said, checking the label on the bottles,   
"this particular sample of fermented piss comes from Germany." He   
paused. "But, if that's how you feel...c'mon, Katsuragi, let's get   
plastered."  
  
"OK!" Misato answered, smiling broadly as she joined the Major, walking   
off towards another part of the camp. Asuka was currently fighting off   
an impressive blush.   
  
"Way to handle foreign relations, Asuka," Touji commented, giving the   
girl a thumbs-up while at the same time struggling to sound like he   
wasn't about to laugh his ass off.  
  
"Shut up!" Asuka shouted, whirling. Her face was still quite red.  
  
"Yeah, Touji, that was mean!" Hikari chimed in, coming to stand   
alongside Asuka.  
  
"Er...OK, OK..." the boy said, holding up both hands as he backed away.   
Hikari and Asuka quickly fell to talking with each other, presumably   
about how annoying Touji was.  
  
The boy in question caught his breath and turned to Kensuke and Shinji,   
who were both looking at him with eyebrows cocked.  
  
"I'll be glad when this is over with," Touji said, sitting down on the   
ground. "I mean, all of five minutes ago, she was on _my_ side! What   
a crappy time for a mood swing..."  
  
"Actually, I think that's just Hikari being a girl," Kensuke commented.  
  
Touji shrugged. "So, when...uh...when is the...you know..."  
  
"Lewis says they'll probably be bringing a priest in soon," Shinji   
commented. "Can't wait, huh?" he asked, smiling at his friend.  
  
Touji blushed, while trying to look sufficiently angered by the   
comment. "I just..." he stuttered, "...well, I know Hikari's gonna be   
even worse if she...you know...if we're not..."  
  
"Yeah, I follow," Kensuke said, sitting down next to Touji and giving   
him a hearty slap on the back, though with not nearly the same force   
the American commander could get. "But believe it or not, you're   
lucky, man."  
  
"Heh," Touji said, grinning a bit. "Maybe." He paused, then glanced   
over at Kensuke. "So how 'bout _you_, then?"  
  
"Wha?" Kensuke asked, giving his friend a confused look.  
  
"You know," Touji said, putting on a sly expression. "Anyone you sweet   
on?"  
  
"Huh? Me? No, no..." Kensuke replied, shaking his head vigorously.  
  
"Not nice to lie," Shinji cut in, offhandedly.  
  
"What?" Kensuke shot back, turning a little red in the cheeks.  
  
"Don't think I didn't notice you earlier," he said. "You were ogling   
that Ariel girl."  
  
Kensuke just stared at his friend.  
  
"Ooh, good taste," Touji said, glancing over at the white-haired girl.  
  
"Definitely," Shinji commented. "I mean, you've seen how she hangs   
around the American gear all the time. She's got a thing for war   
machines, Kensuke. Sounds like she's right up your alley."  
  
"Wasn't her _interests_ I was talking about," Touji said, crossing his   
arms over his chest. "More like her...'endowments', eh?"  
  
Both he and Shinji laughed at this comment. Kensuke continued   
blushing.  
  
"B...but guys, you're crazy," Kensuke said, defensively. "Get off my   
back."  
  
"What is it?" came a new voice.   
  
This voice belonged to Hikari, who was just walking up, having finished   
talking with Asuka. "Shinji," she said, jerking one thumb over her   
shoulder, "Asuka says you're a real baka for leaving her alone to go   
off with your pals, and if you don't get your butt over there right now   
you're sleeping outside again."  
  
"Those exact words?" Shinji asked, nervously.  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Oh, man," Shinji said, shaking his head. He turned to Touji and   
Kensuke. "Sorry guys, but I gotta go. I'll finish talking to _you_   
later," he added on, pointing to Kensuke as he left.  
  
"Now, what was that?" Hikari asked, interested.  
  
"Oh, just talking about that Ariel chick Kensuke's hot on," Touji said,   
casually.  
  
"Hey!" Kensuke said, angrily. "I never said anything like - "  
  
"Oh, that's so sweet!" Hikari chimed in, cutting him off. She stepped   
between him and Touji, looking Kensuke in the eye. "She's a little   
weird, I'll admit, but from what Asuka tells me, she really is a nice   
girl."  
  
"Yeah, I mean she's..." Touji said, trailing off as he cupped his hands   
under his chest, mouthing the words "a big girl" to his friend. The   
grin on his face left no room for doubt as to what 'big' meant in this   
case.  
  
"What was that?" Hikari asked, turning to look back at Touji. Touji,   
for his part, lowered his hands quickly and looked nonchalantly up into   
the sky, trying to whistle.  
  
"_Anyway_," Hikari said, turning away from Touji again, "like I said, I   
think she's a very nice girl, and if you could get her to open up..."  
  
Kensuke was only half-listening, since as soon as Hikari had turned   
away from him, Touji had gone back to highlighting what he judged to be   
the most enticing parts of Ariel. Kensuke couldn't fight off a smile   
at the naughty joke.  
  
Hikari stopped abruptly and whirled on Touji. She took a big breath.   
Kensuke, drawing from experience, plugged his ears.  
  
"IF YOU ARE REFERRING TO THOSE _BASKETBALLS_ SHE CALLS BREASTS, THERE   
IS NO WAY THOSE THINGS ARE REAL, SUZUHARA!!!!!" Hikari shouted at the   
top of her lungs.  
  
"What was that?" came the last voice Hikari had expected to hear, as   
a tanned hand fell on her shoulder.  
  
"YAAAH!!!" Hikari screamed, turning quickly. Sure enough, Ariel was   
standing there, looking at Hikari with an interested expression.  
  
"H...how'd you do that?" Hikari asked, quickly.  
  
"Do what?" Ariel asked, innocently.  
  
Hikari blinked, shaking it off. "Well, I...that is, Ariel-san, I..."  
  
"Your theories concerning my body are slightly off, Horaki-san," Ariel   
said, calmly. "If you need me to demonstrate..." she said, beginning   
to unbutton her shirt.  
  
"NO!" Hikari shouted, grabbing Ariel's hands. "No, you don't, I'll   
just...take your word for it," she said. "Uh...bye," she finished,   
walking off, but not before grabbing Touji by the ear and dragging him   
along with her.  
  
"Uh huh..." Kensuke said, watching Touji get towed off to what would   
undoubtedly be a scolding he would not soon forget. He swallowed,   
turning back to the girl in front of him. "Well, Ariel-san..." he   
began, nervously. "Do you want something to eat?"  
  
Ariel nodded. "Certainly," she said. "I am interested in this...what   
is the word...'hamburger', the Americans say they are grilling."  
  
"Well, then, let's check that out."  
  
***  
  
The sun had already descended past the horizon by the time the   
Americans had finally stopped their work for the day and started   
relaxing a bit. As time dragged on, night descended on the encampment,   
drawing its cloak of stars over them and forcing them to rely solely   
upon the flickering oranges and reds of the fires for light. But only   
a few people took this as their cue to go to bed. Most everyone else   
stayed, enjoying some of the night air.  
  
Somehow, Asuka finally managed to get her hands on some of the beer the   
Americans had with them. Just as Lewis had said, it _did_ in fact come   
from Germany. But the girl was still determined to double-check with a   
taste test.  
  
Asuka vibrated as she lowered her bottle. "Oh, yeah..." she said, in a   
low voice. "That's it, all right."  
  
"Uh...Asuka, I don't think we should - "  
  
"Have some fun, baka Shinji," Asuka replied, cutting him off. "Here,   
you have this one."  
  
Knowing it would be worthless to try arguing with her, Shinji glumly   
accepted the beer. He quickly took a drink, choking down the bitter   
brew at a look from Asuka. He quickly concluded that that was about   
all he'd be able to take, and quietly set the beer down off to the side   
where he hoped Asuka wouldn't notice.  
  
He actually didn't mind all that much. It was nice to be able to relax   
like this. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend he was back   
in Tokyo-3, sitting among friends in the place that had become his   
home. Actually, if he was in the mood for wishful thinking, he could   
even feel at home here, where he was. His friends were all here, and   
they were all enjoying themselves, for the moment. They were able to   
be themselves, able to forget for a little while the apocalypse that   
had come just a few years earlier. Touji and Hikari had finally   
stopped arguing long enough to sit down and get something to eat.   
Kensuke had disappeared off somewhere, probably to go ogle the tanks   
some more. Misato was off getting drunk - an endeavor Asuka seemed to   
be joining her in, as the girl opened up a second beer. Self-  
consciously, Shinji nudged his a little further away.  
  
That only left the pair of children who Shinji hadn't even thought   
would show up for this nighttime gathering. Neither Kaoru nor Rei had   
seemed fond of large groups of people, but yet they'd both appeared   
some time ago, walking in together. Kaoru had stayed long enough to   
say hello to Shinji, and then he, too, had disappeared. As for Rei...  
  
Rei had been greeted the moment she'd come in, as several other people   
at the camp led her away to get some food and, presumably, to ask her   
questions about the most recent battle. Shinji was pretty sure they   
wouldn't get any, since Rei hadn't been able to answer similar   
questions from Ritsuko earlier.  
  
But the odd thing was, many of the people who'd approached her had been   
calling her "Ayanami-sama". It was very interesting...  
  
Rei had kept her usualy aloof attitude through it all. But Shinji   
quietly hoped she could find some friends in all that mess. The girl   
deserved a break.  
  
That was what was going through his mind when he finally saw her again.   
She'd apparently shaken off that small crowd and was again keeping to   
herself, walking slowly in between groups of people. From a distance   
of perhaps a dozen meters, she caught Shinji's eyes, recognizing him   
instantly. He waved to the blue-haired girl, and she turned to face  
him. He beckoned to her with his free hand.  
  
But all she did was just look at him coldly, as she had in the past. He   
gestured to her again, but she simply shook her head slightly and   
walked on, leaving him where he was. She walked off to the side and   
going into a nearby tent the Americans had recently set up.  
  
Shinji blinked, not understanding. Glancing over at Asuka, he saw that   
the girl was busy speaking with Hikari. At least the brown-haired girl   
was staying away from the beer. Satisfied that he wasn't leaving Asuka   
alone, he got up. Asuka, caught up in her conversation - and   
presumably already feeling the effects of the booze - didn't notice.   
He headed for the tent.  
  
He found Rei inside, sitting quietly by herself in a small folding   
chair. Her hands were crossed in her lap, her face placid as she   
looked out the plastic window of the tent. Shinji froze for a moment,   
seeing this. Again, it was almost like they were back home. He could   
remember walking into the classroom in Tokyo-3 innumerable times. And,   
more often than not, Rei would always be there, stuck in her   
characteristic position, looking disinterestedly out the window.  
  
But then he returned to himself, realizing where he was standing.  
  
"Uh...Ayanami..." he began.  
  
***  
  
Rei had not been as oblivious as she may have seemed. She knew Shinji   
had come into the tent, though she was quite confused over why he had   
paused like that, just before talking. But that confusion couldn't get   
in the way, now. She didn't want to have to deal with this.   
  
^I should ignore my feelings,^ she thought. ^They cannot be allowed to   
destroy the life I have.^  
  
She tried to ignore the voice that disagreed with her in the back of   
her head, she kept herself as still as possible, though her hands   
seemed warmer than before. It was easiest to do nothing, but that was   
no guarantee Shinji would leave her alone. Her voice carrying the   
barest hint of irritation, she said:  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
Only silence answered her. She waited, but Shinji said nothing. If she   
was answered with silence, then she too would say nothing, but she   
sensed that this time was different. He would not have come to her for   
nothing, like his father. What would he ask of her this time? To die?   
She could die at any time she chose. She would simply have to walk   
back out into the sea, and then let herself go. She could make her   
death permanent, ceasing to exist completely beyond any chance of   
return. But he had said nothing yet.  
  
What did he think of her using the Eva, she wondered. She could die   
there. In battle, all it would take was a lucky shot, a missed step,   
or something from the Dummy Plug's hands. If he asked her to continued   
with that, she would see no reason to refuse. Fighting with Eva was   
something she was accustomed to doing; for a long time, perhaps even   
now, it was all she'd had. Death was a part of that, and for that   
reason she did not fear death. In fact she remembered desiring it at   
one point in her lives.   
  
^But he is not the Commander.^ She reminded herself. ^Ikari-kun may be   
in command of this area, and he may even ask others to die for him, but   
he is _not_ the Commander.^ Yet still, Shinji made no answer.   
  
What if she was to look him in the eye? Would that break the wall of   
silence they had built between them? Suzuhara had said it would help,   
and it might.  
  
But she could not will her body to move. All she had to do was turn   
around and face him...and she could not go through with it? What was   
wrong with her? Was it the weakness of fear, or something deeper? She   
hoped that this was only temporary.  
  
"How are you doing?" Shinji ventured, finally saying something.  
  
"I am well," came the curt reply.  
  
"Oh..." Shinji said, slowly. He paused for a moment, shifting back and   
forth on his feet.  
  
^Do not linger here,^ Rei thought at him, the thought unable to resolve   
itself into spoken words. ^You...are frightening me.^ She paused.   
^Is that true? Is his presence frightening? The emotions it   
evokes...I do not understand them.^  
  
"Sorry you got dragged off like that," he said, nervously. "I know you   
must not've liked that. Having to be the center of attention, I mean."  
  
"I managed."  
  
"Uh...yeah." He paused again. "Look, Rei, I...I'm sorry you had to go   
through that. Those people probably just wanted to know what you   
did...last time." He seemed hesitant to say it: 'in the last battle'.   
Rei didn't know whether that was encouraging or not.  
  
"I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again," he finished.  
  
^What is he trying to accomplish?^ Rei thought, confused.  
  
"I know you...don't like being around people much, and you don't like   
being bothered by people you don't want to talk to."  
  
^Has he not realized that I still wish to be alone?^  
  
"I'll understand if you want to leave now. I don't think you'll be   
missing much, except maybe everyone embarassing themselves," he said,   
smiling nervously.  
  
^This tone of voice...I believe I have heard it somewhere before. What   
is the word for it...^  
  
"But you shouldn't have to put up with it if you don't want to.   
Sorry..." he said, momentarily at a loss for words. "...I guess I just   
want you to know I'm sorry...and I'll try to snap them out of it, if I   
can..."  
  
^That is the word, 'pity',^ Rei finally concluded. ^Is this his pity   
for me?^ Rei thought, looking Shinji over as he finally stopped   
talking. Apparently the boy had realized that he wasn't getting any   
kind of response from the girl.  
  
^So, the little invalid's trying to get some pity out of Shinji-chan?^   
the memory of Asuka's voice resounded clearly in her mind.  
  
^Pity...no, I do not want to be pitied.^  
  
Finally, some words managed to escape Rei's mouth. However, as she   
found out very quickly, words have an odd way of coming out in the way   
you least expect them to.  
  
"Your pity is not what I want, Shinji-kun."  
  
Her eyes widened as soon as she'd closed her mouth again. _That_   
hadn't been what she'd intended to say.  
  
Shinji turned away, slightly put out by the rejection. But then it   
clicked in his mind what Rei had said. Her heartbeat accelerated as he   
turned back towards her, his face a swirl of confusion. Rei fought the   
urge to put one hand to her heart, trying to force it to slow back down   
to its regular pace.  
  
"Then...what _do_ you want then, Rei?" Shinji asked, slowly.  
  
Though he'd called her by that name several times recently, since the   
day she'd said it was all right, for some reason the word 'Rei' struck   
a chord in the girl, this time. Maybe it was the way he said it, the   
word coming off his tongue so easily this time that it was as though   
he'd been calling her Rei since they'd first met. For whatever reason,   
Rei felt her throat close up. This time, she couldn't resist the urge   
to bring one hand up to her throat, as though trying to feel the   
obstruction with her fingers.  
  
The question Shinji asked was tearing through her mind, looping around   
again and again, completely annihilating all hope of coherent thought.  
  
^I do not want to say...^  
  
^What do I want?^  
  
^I cannot...he is...^  
  
^What do I want?^  
  
^I must...I must not...or I...^  
  
^What do I want?^  
  
Rei felt herself trembling. It was not a sensation she experienced   
often; even when the most recent attacker had nearly devoured her, she   
had kept her calm. What was it that could unsettle her like this?  
  
But she already knew the answer. She could feel it inside of her; that   
sensation of cold isolation, of perpetual loneliness, was finally   
cracking. It was slowly slipping away, like a dying tide, pulling back   
and finally giving her release...  
  
Yet the thought was almost too much to bear. It frightened her,   
keeping her from talking, even as Shinji's look of curiosity turned to   
one of worry, watching the silent girl in front of him.  
  
***  
  
Shinji didn't know what to do, at the moment. He was slowly realizing   
that maybe his question had been out of bounds for him. Rei had never   
really _wanted_ anything, so asking her a question like that was   
confusing the poor girl. He could see the confusion in her face, even   
as she turned away from him, trying to hide her failing mask from him.   
  
A few minutes passed, during which the distance seemed to grow between   
them. Rei remained sitting in her chair, and Shinji didn't move from   
where he was standing. But even with that in mind, it seemed Rei was   
slipping away from him, the distance between them growing a little more   
with every heartbeat. And there was nothing he could do; it was her   
choice, after all. But he did not want her to fade away on him.  
  
"S...sorry, Rei," Shinji said, bowing slightly in deference to her. "I   
shouldn't have bothered you with that. Sorry you had to put up   
with...all that," he finished, gesturing in the general direction of   
the tent flap. ^Please don't hate me for it,^ he mentally added on.   
He was a little surprised by this thought, but soon found that it was   
genuine. He hadn't started calling her Rei just because he liked the   
name.  
  
He turned to go. "I'll...I'll see you tomorrow, I guess," he said.  
  
"I have not answered your question yet, Ika...Shinji-kun."  
  
Shinji turned around quickly. "No, that's..." the last word died in   
his mouth, as he looked back at the girl. The look of confusion was no   
longer there. Rather, it had been replaced by a determination that   
teased at long-repressed memories in his mind. He vaguely remembered   
seeing that expression on her face, that look of quiet determination   
which told him she would never fail in her appointed task...what was it   
again? The details of his life before Third Impact were lost in a  
stuporous haze. He was not sure he even _wanted_ to remember them, but   
he wracked his brain for an answer. Yes...her task was to protect him,   
and she had thrown herself in the line of fire to do so; but she had   
not failed. He remembered rushing to her side, asking her if she was   
okay...and he remembered she did something important in her  
answer, but nothing else came to mind. The rest of the memory faded   
before he could recall it; and yet here she was, with the same face.   
The same look of strength, of a calm resolution he was sure he'd never   
be able to achieve.  
  
"What I...want..." she began. But her drive seemed to falter on that   
last word. The tightness in her mouth began to flow out, and the   
hardness of her eyes softened.  
  
"I...I want...to understand why I feel this way..." she said, her   
expression melting completely.  
  
"Feel...how?" Shinji asked, curious. Another memory tickled in his   
mind, that he had been one of the select few who had seen this girl   
_ever_ show any feeling. Oddly enough, remembering that time she'd   
been supposed to protect him made him wonder what a smile would look   
like on her face. He couldn't help wondering if she was about to show   
emotion again. Not wanting to miss it, he took a step towards her.   
However, this move prompted Rei to further close up, pulling her arms   
close to her body, the fingers of one hand brushing her chest as she   
looked away from him.  
  
"Rei, what's wrong?" he asked, trying to sound soothing.  
  
Rei looked up. Just as she did this, the moon finally made its   
appearance, as the clouds parted and allowed its pale light to shine in   
through the window the girl was sitting next to.  
  
Somehow, Shinji knew in the back of his mind that no matter what   
happened to him, no matter how many of his memories turned to dust and   
blew away with time, even if the whole planet were burned to ash, that   
he would never forget what he saw that night. For one brief instant,   
Rei's face was cast into sharp relief by the glimmer of the full moon.   
For a moment her face lay in shadow, but the clouds continued to draw   
back, revealing more and more of her face. As the darkness was stripped   
away, he was caught by those crimson eyes, the same eyes that had been  
his chief nightmare in the apocalypse, the same eyes that had held him   
entranced countless times before, the same eyes that were looking at   
him quietly now. And as he was drawn in, he saw, for a brief flash,   
Rei. Not a part-angel monstrousity, not the mistress of a monster  
who could destroy them all in a wink, not the impenetrable wall of ice   
that had stopped his every effort to get through, but Rei. Only Rei.   
And she was...  
  
^My God...she's beautiful.^  
  
And, as life is prone to irony, as soon as he realized the meaning of   
those words, the moment passed. And once again he saw Rei sitting in   
front of him, her face smooth and unreadable. No, wait, now she was   
standing; she'd apparently gotten to her feet in that brief moment.   
The girl came slowly, taking a step towards him, her hand rising from   
her side.  
  
"Shinji-kun..." she began.  
  
It was too much. He couldn't believe what he'd just thought. He   
couldn't believe this was happening. He couldn't believe that Rei was   
still coming towards him. How close did she intend to get? How close   
did he intend to _let_ her get? But she was still coming closer, her   
hand still rising up, and he could do nothing.  
  
^no...^ A voice in his head whispered. Was it his? He didn't know, her   
hand had already passed his shoulder and was reaching for his neck.  
  
^_No_...^ The whisper became a pained moan, urging him to move away.   
But he could not. He was paralyzed with fear and with something else,   
as her hand came slowly to his face, making the hairs on the back of   
his neck stand on end with shivering cold as she came closer, her lips   
parted to say something. He could feel the warmth of her hand, now very   
close to his cheek and causing the skin to awaken with its own heat, in   
anticipation of the contact...  
  
Suddenly the protests were given voice through him.  
  
"NOOOO!" His scream split the night.  
  
Rei was taken aback, her face puzzled, but that no longer mattered to   
him. He ran out of the tent as fast as he could, nearly tripping over   
things in the dark, not caring where he went so as long as it was away.   
He ran away in fear, away from what might been, away from the light of   
the camp, and away from the light of the moon across the sky that   
haunted him with its question of...  
  
Rei watched the spot where he'd been. She slowly lowered her hand,   
which had just begun to rise up, to hesitantly reach towards Shinji, to   
do the unthinkable, for her. To touch him. Just to feel that contact,   
like she had not so long ago...  
  
But now...  
  
"Why?" she asked the space where Shinji had been only seconds before,   
her soft voice full of confusion, and pain.  
  
She somehow ended up on the ground, her legs no longer possessing the   
strength to hold her up. She lay down, onto her back as she stared up   
at the nondescript ceiling of the tent. Her mind unable to answer the   
questions raging through it, she closed her eyes, feeling the wetness   
building behind her eyelids.  
  
***  
  
Kaoru had been pulling a sort of double watch since he'd come here.   
He'd kept an eye on Ariel the whole time, even more suspicous of her   
after what he'd seen happen to her at the coastline. But he'd also   
tried to watch Rei. It had troubled him to see her taken away like   
that. He hadn't been able to follow, not without quitting his   
observation of Ariel. Figuring that Rei could watch after herself,   
he'd let her go.  
  
Then he'd seen Shinji follow Rei into that tent, an event he'd watched   
with a _very_ interested look on his face. But this interest had   
collapsed when he'd seen Shinji go sprinting out, a few minutes later.  
  
He stayed there long enough to watch Shinji vanish into the darkness,   
still running even as he passed out of sight. He mulled it over for a   
few moments, pretending to listen to the conversation he'd been having   
just minutes ago.  
  
He mentally shrugged, unable to figure out what had just happened. He   
glanced back at the tent, fairly certain that he hadn't yet seen Rei   
leave it. Excusing himself, he went over to it.  
  
She was inside, just as he'd suspected. Rei lay there as if she had   
collapsed from exhaustion, the simple blanket lying uselessly to one   
side. She was bathed in the soft light of the moon. He could see from   
the entrance that her eyes were closed. So, she'd just fallen asleep.   
  
It did seem a little odd for her to choose _now_ to rest, especially if   
something had just made Shinji run out. But then again, Kaoru knew   
that he hadn't been able to sleep well for the past few days. The   
death of the last Eva, right when he'd felt its S2 engine erupt, had   
sent a shock through him, as though every bone in his body had been   
shattered and then put back together in an instant. He'd been left   
breathless for a long moment, almost too long. The memory of that   
sensation, called up by seeing Rei here, still made him close his eyes   
in fear. What had that feeling been?  
  
Not just that, but the last Eva had nearly destroyed Rei, the only   
other person in this entire encampment which he truly had something in   
common with. He could remember seeing the girl, looking through Unit-  
00's optics as though they were his own eyes. He'd seen her sinking,   
as though into quicksand, only infinitely more deadly. And then   
she'd...  
  
What had Rei done, anyway? Even he wasn't sure. But he _did_ know   
that it wasn't right to leave her here like this. If nothing else,   
someone was going to kick her out when they found her sleeping in their   
tent.  
  
He knelt down next to her, looking her over to try to gauge how best to   
do this. The girl was lying on her back, eyes closed and face   
peaceful, the rise and fall of her chest almost hypnotic. Kaoru   
watched her for a while, wondering if she was even really asleep.   
  
Finally, he decided he may as well try to wake her up. It would be   
much easier than trying to carry her all the way back to their shelter.   
He reached out to touch her shoulder. But before he could even make   
contact with her, he heard a soft sound, so quiet that it could have   
been his imagination: a gasp, coming from Rei.  
  
He pulled back, looking the girl over again. Her face was no longer   
demure. Her lips were tight, as though concentrating hard on   
something. Her eyes, though still closed, were twitching erratically,   
becoming tight and then relaxing again, over and over. Again, as   
though she were concentrating. Or as though she were being beaten.  
  
"Rei?" he asked, quietly. No response came from the girl, except for   
another soft gasp, her lips parting just long enough to let out the   
noise.  
  
Kaoru leaned forwards, reaching out to see if he could shake her awake   
or somehow calm her down, but he froze, mid-motion. He felt it: a   
tickling in his mind, of something that was not truly him taking   
action.  
  
But the only time he ever felt something like that was when he was   
controlling an Eva...  
  
***  
  
Shinji's thoughts were a tumult as he got away from the American camp.   
He had stopped running a few hundred meters back, his legs refusing to   
keep up that pace any longer. But he was still walking as quickly as   
he could  
  
His entire will was focused on _not_ thinking about what had just   
happened, but, as these things tend to go, that was the one thing he   
_couldn't_ forget. Every other second, Rei's face would flash in front   
of his eyes.  
  
^No..._no_, it was just the booze, that's all.^ Never mind that all   
he'd had was a sip. He had no tolerance, so even that much could have   
gotten him drunk, right?  
  
The way her hair fell gently across her face.  
  
^No. It was just a brief shot of hormones, that's all. I mean, I _am_   
still a male.^  
  
How her skin had seemed to catch the moonlight and almost glow.  
  
^God...no, it had to just be the situation. Anyone would have thought   
that way.^  
  
The way her eyes had glistened, as though untold volumes of tears were   
hiding behind them, tears she could not or would not ever let free, no   
matter how much she may have deserved to.  
  
^What's wrong with me?^  
  
He slammed his eyes shut, trying to blank his mind by blocking out all   
external perceptions. But it didn't work too well. Opening his eyes   
again, he stared at his feet, as he continued walking aimlessly.   
Anywhere, just to get away.  
  
Finally, as his breathing became more labored, he stopped. Looking up,   
he quickly recognized where he was. It was hard to miss Unit-00,   
on one knee, not ten meters from him. Beyond him lay the sea, the   
waves crashing against the cliffs he was now one. The moon was still  
in the sky, but it was away from the water. Still, it caused the   
Evangelion's face to be hidden in shadow, creating a mask that hid   
everything from him.  
  
^How'd I end up here?^ he wondered absently. Without really knowing   
why, he started walking up to the sleeping metal giant.  
  
^This was hers..._is_ hers, I guess,^ he thought, putting one hand on   
the Eva's foot. ^I wonder if it's really as important as she says it   
is. 'Your pity is not what I want.' What's that supposed to mean?   
Nothing, I guess. Rei's never really 'wanted' anything.^  
  
The wind suddenly picked up, blowing through Shinji's clothes and   
sucking away every last degree of body heat from him. He shivered,   
ducking behind the Eva's foot for some cover. What he didn't notice,   
however, was that the Eva shuddered, as well. Far above him, its one   
eye lit up, glowing a dull red.  
  
^Though she's not always a machine like that,^ Shinji continued   
thinking. ^I mean, every once in a while she _does_ look like a normal   
girl.^  
  
This thought, of course, recalled the events of the past five minutes.   
Shinji closed his eyes again. In doing so, he failed to see the Eva's   
left hand twitch, its fingers flexing. The arm began to move, lifting   
up and reaching across, towards him.  
  
He turned around and leaned against the foot, his legs feeling too weak   
to support him.  
  
^I am _never_ drinking again,^ he resolved. ^It just causes too much   
trouble. Damn...what am I going to say to Asuka? Can I even face her?^  
  
A feeling of guilt was there, all right. He couldn't help feeling that   
he'd betrayed her, both by going to see Rei and then...what had   
happened afterwards. But the feeling was not as strong as he'd have   
guessed. It almost felt like he was forcing himself to feel guilty,   
because he knew that that's what he should be feeling, in this case.  
  
^I just don't get it,^ he thought, opening his eyes again.  
  
His heart promptly skipped a beat.  
  
There was nothing in front of him. Or rather, that was only what it   
looked like, as the giant, metallic hand descending on him blocked out   
his view of all else. His mouth opened to scream, to call for help,   
but his lungs didn't seem to be working at the moment.  
  
He was helpless to resist as the fingers closed around him, pinning his   
arms to his sides and forcing the breath out of his body. His entire   
body was enclosed in the grip; nothing except his head was visible.   
Struggling to keep breathing against the immovable wall of the hand, he   
felt his feet leave the ground. A few pitiful sounds came out of his   
mouth, the beginnings of screams which never got any louder than a   
whisper.  
  
The whole time, the Eva remained strangely motionless, its arm being   
the only thing that moved, and even that was moving slowly, as though   
the Eva were dazed. Its head remained bowed, its 'face' aimed at the   
ground and still obscured by shadows. But still Shinji could not help   
but feel there was some kind of intelligence hidden in that darkness,   
something implacable, which he could not possibly understand the depths   
of. But from the tightness of its grip, it was showing its malevolence   
towards its catch.  
  
As he was brought up to Unit-00's head, it moved, slowly looking up at   
him. In moments, he staring into his own reflection in the red pool of   
its eye. As the moonlight drove off the mask of shadows, its eye   
seemed to drink in the light and begin to glow. The color that only   
appeared when its Dummy Plug activated...  
  
He felt a scream coming. He felt it growing in his chest, gaining   
strength before finally starting to push its way up his throat.  
  
But just as he opened his mouth to let out the most fright-filled   
scream of his entire life, he felt something enter his mind, ramming   
itself in like a bullet to the head. He was helpless to stop it, and   
once it got into him, he slumped in the Eva's grip, passing out cold.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: Damn, a cliffhanger. Guess I better get cracking on the next   
section.  
  
About the bird thing: yeah, I know the birds landing on Ariel may be a   
bit too much like Disney. But I know from several sources that Arael,   
the 15th Angel, was also known as the Angel of Birds. So forgive me   
for taking liberties with the name. ^_^  
  
Now, as for all of you who have been waiting patiently (or not so   
patiently) for the next chapter of this story, I am very sorry for how   
long this has been delayed. I could shower you with excuses, but that   
would take up too much space and odds are you can guess what the   
problem was anyway (this wonderful thing called real life). However,   
you can rest assured that now I have more time to work on this fic and   
I'm definitely going to be putting more effort into it.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: October 6, 2001  
Version 1 Ended: November 26, 2001  
Version 2 Ended: November 27, 2001  
Version 3 Ended: December 26, 2001  
Version 4 Ended: April 27, 2002  
Version 5 Ended: May 11, 2002  
Version 6 Ended: May 12, 2002  
  
(Looks back up at the dates) Damn, I _have_ been slacking off. Well,   
I'll see if I can fix that.  
  
As always, thanks go to the Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and   
Judging Eagle for prereading. Extra thanks go to the Avatar, who was   
the driving force behind this revision and whose extra scenes were   
invaluable in rewriting. He is starting to get a reputation for   
writing reviews longer than the chapter itself, though...  
  
Also, for those of you who have noticed my web site has gone down (and   
I still don't know _why_), my new address is at   
http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/srfics/index.html. I'm rebuilding as   
quickly as I can, and I'm also setting up a backup site so this doesn't   
happen again. All news of my work on the site will be noted at the   
above address.  
  
However, my e-mail address (otakusadist@hotmail.com) remains the same. 


	15. The First Eclipse: Innocence Murdered

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
Foreword: Remember those mind-f**k episodes, 25 and 26? This chapter   
was written to feel like them. Be prepared. I also take this moment   
to remind you about the spoilers for End of Eva, which are particularly   
extreme for this chapter.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Side Story 3: The First Eclipse: Innocence Murdered  
  
The concept of "nothing" is almost impossible to imagine. A blank   
sheet of paper still has itself, and even the void between stars still   
has the cold and the light. Nowhere can there be nothing. Even in the   
realm of the mind, the idea remains elusive, perhaps existing in the   
space between the end of a dream and consciousness.   
  
Only nothing truly is nothingness. and Shinji was, verily,   
insuperably, irrefutably, and absolutely nothing.  
  
Nothing but awake.  
  
^What...what is this place?^  
  
Body? Nonexistent.   
  
Senses? Blind. Deaf. Dumb.   
  
Mind? Shrivelled, shrunken, afraid.   
  
Surroundings? No feeling of presence.   
  
Nothing.  
  
^Is there...anyone...anyone?^  
  
Vertigo...  
  
A snapping together. Apprehension. Uncertainty.  
  
^Why...?^  
  
Frustration. Fear.  
  
^Why?!^  
  
Claustrophobia. Panic at having one's entire universe reduced to one's   
own puny, idiotic, and incalculably worthless mind.  
  
^_Why?!!!!_^ His mental scream, powerless against the absolute silence.  
  
A pulse of light, like the call to awaken when he didn't know he was   
dreaming. A dull thump sounding, reverberating through the blackness   
around him. Sight at last, if only momentarily. Hope?  
  
Light, first white, then dimming to dark orange. Perceptions of shapes   
...others, with him. Humans? Monsters? Worse?  
  
^Who...^ Peals of childish laughter.  
  
Pulses and thumping again, now regular, now multiplying. Clearer and   
clearer vision of surroundings.  
  
Shapes...  
  
Forms...  
  
Humanoid.  
  
Identical.  
  
...And feminine?  
  
^Who?^ Again a child's laughter, mocking and cruel in its innocence.  
  
Pulses and thumping so fast they blurred together, becoming a constant   
hum in his immaterial ears. Light intesifying, slowly bringing focus   
to the haze around him. Others, the same human female form, copied ad   
infinitum. Inert. Still.  
  
Dead?  
  
^They're all...^  
  
A small twitch, passing through all their bodies like a ripple  
through water.  
  
^all...^  
  
The bodies lazily turning, without direction, without will.  
  
^all...^ Anxiety.  
  
^Lidless is the eye that is stricken with terror.^ Not his own  
thought. Not his own self.  
  
^dead...?^  
  
Then, as one, they moved. The movement so quick it may have been a   
simultaneous muscle spasm, their heads looked up. All of them turned,   
to look straight at him. All with the same gaze, the same eerily   
smiling mouth, a feminine face that had crimson eyes -  
  
^NOOOOO!!!^  
  
- they were upon him, relentlessly advancing, coming upon his   
paralyzed, unresisting self like giggling hyenas on a carcass. They   
set on him with multitudes of identicals, raping and violating, tearing   
and rending, consuming and devouring until there was left no trace -  
  
***  
  
Somewhere else.  
  
A shape. A heartbeat. Senses. A surface to stand on, and feet to   
stand _with_. All were his once again.   
  
Another unfamiliar place.  
  
A dank, dusty room. Him sitting in a chair, next to an unmade bed, its   
only coverings being the dust and grime of age, and where old   
bloodstained bandages lay, the blood long since turned to a crusty   
brown. A mail slot filled to overflowing, on the distant door that he   
had not come through, and all throughout the air a feel of disuse and   
abandonment.   
  
And more disturbingly, a strange sense of familiarity, loss, and...   
regret?  
  
"Where...where is this place?"   
  
No answer.  
  
A table off to the side, occupied by randomly placed bottles of   
medication and a glass beaker. The latter had apparently been placed   
so as to catch the light from the window. The beaker was untouched by   
the hands of time and decay; the clearness of the glass showed that.   
Even the water inside seemed immune to the slow process of   
evaporation...  
  
Water?  
  
Looking at the glass, he saw it was empty, without even the slightest   
drop of liquid clinging to its sides. Had it not been full until just   
now?  
  
There was another object beside the strangely clean beaker. It, like   
the rest of the room, was coated in dust. Some...sort of container.   
To hold something delicate and also valuable. A slow recollection in   
his mind.  
  
^When have I seen that...when?^ Memory, just out of the reach of his   
consciousness.  
  
A squeal of rusty hinges, and the growing glow of light being let in.   
Sounds of footsteps, and the shadow of another one in the room with him   
stretched to just out of his sight.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
He turned, saw the white void that was all that the newly-opened door   
revealed. A shadowy figure emerged from the glow, flashed across the   
room so quickly it appeared to vanish. There was a moment of cold   
contact and -  
  
A sound of breaking glass, followed by that of the shards tinkling  
to the floor.  
  
^I don't remember.^ Not his thoughts.  
  
The feeling of being alone. The light from the door, gone. Turning   
around, to find the strange container open, and inside it were   
unrecognizable bits of plastic and glass. What had this once been, for   
someone to destroy it as thoroughly as they had? Was it because -  
  
^I am the third, I think.^  
  
"G. Ikari" was written on one of the larger shards of plastic. A name?   
Familiar. A mark that these had once belonged to...  
  
"Father? Why?"  
  
"Why not?" A voice, different from his own.  
  
A pause.  
  
"Who...who are you?" His voice. Suspicion.  
  
Child's laughter, perverse in its innocence.  
  
"Who are _you_?" The voice taunted.  
  
The mirror on the wall.  
  
His own reflection gazed back as he came closer, nothing out  
of the ordinary. Around his own reflection, an all-consuming   
blackness. Nothing beyond himself showed in the glassy pane.  
  
^Mankind fears nothing more than the darkness.^  
  
He reached out to the mirror, toward his own reflection, and it reached   
for him. Difficult to tell which had moved first. Was it trying to   
tell him - or was he trying to tell _it_ - that there was something   
beyond this place, this darkness of nothing?  
  
He blinked, and in that instant the reflection changed.  
  
"Ayanami?"  
  
The mirror shattered soundlessly, the countless pieces falling at his   
feet and disappearing before they could even seem real. His only   
emotion was faint surprise.  
  
Something in the corner of his eye.  
  
"Who are you?" The other's voice.  
  
The window.  
  
The glass was undamaged, and the window itself was shut tightly.   
Outside was the same white light from the door, only duller...weaker,   
somehow. In the place of his own reflection there was another,   
different image looking back at him. It was...foggy, undefined, and   
blurred, but still vaguely human.  
  
"I am the one you know."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"I am not as I appear to you now. But this pale reflection will  
suffice, for the moment." The figure's eyes - nothing but dark holes   
against the white light - narrowed.   
  
The sensation of falling, as the so-treasured ground was taken out from   
under his feet. And then, Disintegration.  
  
***  
  
Darkness and cold, but not loneliness. Someone had come with him.  
  
"Are you the enemy?" A voice, dead and cold, but at the same time   
vaguely familiar, from his mist-enshrouded companion. It continued.  
  
"Are you the enemy?  
  
"Am I the enemy? Who _is_ the enemy? _What_ is the enemy?  
  
"Is it they?" Its voice nearly taunting, now.  
  
A brilliant flash as memories alien to him were forced across into his   
being.  
  
***  
  
He was a towering giant, impossibly lanky limbs at his sides while  
he marched carelessly through a city of shimmering white, tiny planes  
buzzing like insects around him. Futilely they loosed a hail of fire,  
but he swatted them away with the same care he gave to vaporizing any  
building or barrier in the way of his mission. Slowly he turned   
around, and for a moment he saw, reflected in a wall of glass, the two   
wide white shoulders, the three-pronged claws, the round red sphere,   
and the two bone-white faces, one beaked, one blunt, both with holes   
for eyes that were his own. The wall opened to reveal another giant, a   
challenge to the success of his mission and thus something to be   
destroyed.  
  
It took two tottering steps and fell forward.  
  
He took its head up in one hand and an arm in the other. Faintly  
he heard screaming below, and then screaming from - not the giant's   
lips, but somewhere within - as he twisted farther and farther until   
the arm snapped. The screaming intensified, but he was not yet done.   
In his first claw he began to pound on the giant's head, energy   
striking metal until the beam pierced its head and hurled it against a   
wall. Silence.  
  
"Was it _your_ enemy?"  
  
And then...  
  
A cry of rage dredged from the deepest nightmare. The moment of   
confusion...the pain of being torn limb from impossibly long limb...the   
tinge of humiliation as it became his turn to be torn apart, under a   
gauntlet of blows...and the sweetness of promised vengeance as he died   
in a final act of blinding light.  
  
"_Who_ was it?"  
  
Flash.  
  
***  
  
He had a misshapen body trailing behind a strange head with eyes  
that did not see. Extensions from the body, just above the blood-red  
sphere, then ends clasped as if in prayer. The same white city, only   
brightly lit this time. The same guardian, stronger, more confident,   
and armed with a new weapon. A challenge came, borne of fear and   
violence.  
  
"_What_ was it?"  
  
He unleashed his own arms, bright and shining whips of energy  
that cleaved through the guardian's weapon in an instant. In cowardice  
it seemed to run, but there was no escape. He flung it through the   
air; cornered it. Then a moment of weakness as it lay before him,   
having last regrets before the coup de grace...  
  
...that was caught in its hands.  
  
Then _he_ was flung through the air, before getting up, and hearing   
again the scream of fear - within the guardian - as he was locked in a   
contest for survival that he lost, dying as he did with a cold,   
whispered plea for revenge -  
  
"Why?"  
  
Flash.  
  
***  
  
He floated above the white city, untouchable, invincible, and immovable   
from his task. The guardian had made his expected appearance, but had   
been unarmed and helpless before his thunder. It would no longer   
trouble him. Soon the pitiful barriers the Lilim had thrown up to hide   
Father would be torn down, and the last revelation would overtake the   
Earth.  
  
The city beneath darkened, throwing a veil of suspicion over his  
nonexistent eyes. Now he saw the faint glow in the distant mountains  
that, slowly but surely, outlined the shape of the guardian, and a  
lesser, stranger companion -  
  
Realization of their subterfuge. All-consuming anger at the   
underhanded attack. There could only be one response to this   
presumptuous strike, as the anger within him was mirrored by a buildup   
of the thunder he would rend their copied flesh with.  
  
Everything in moments -  
  
- a crossing of two paths, a scream of fright, a second moment of  
weakness, a second scream of panic...and a killing blow so quick it  
was almost painless -  
  
A fading, incoherent thought for retribution crossed his dying  
mind, but it was mostly unheard over the wave of confusion, loss,  
and a burning need just to know _why_...  
  
***  
  
"Why?"  
  
He found himself with another body, and another, and another, in  
an endless whirlwind of fantasy and nightmare. He flew through the   
air; he skulked in the sea. He went above the air itself; he spent the   
whole of his all-too-short existence in the bowels of the Earth. He   
had the strength of mountains; he was weaker than tears. He was more   
untouchable than the soul itself; he was nothing more than a batch of   
rogue data lurking in a machine. He was born, he had lived, and he did   
countless times, he had faced the guardian, its controller, and the   
guardian's allies the same number of times, and at the end of every   
life he whispered, declared, screamed, a plea, a call, a roar for   
vengeance, retribution, death to the Lilim...  
  
But still the same question remained:  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know." The only reply he could muster.  
  
"A most inadequate answer. If you cannot answer my own question,  
how am I to answer yours?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
A feeling of exasperation. Not his.  
  
"Do you know this?"  
  
A glow in the darkness. It took no shape, flashing and flowing like   
fog, but...it seemed vaguely feminine, like his companion. Almost   
could be seen in the blurry depths, but there was _something_ there.  
  
"I'm not sure..."  
  
A brief sound of derisive laughter. "A pity. She came here, leaving   
behind all she held dear, risking her very soul, and you foolishly   
ignore the key she has placed in your hands."  
  
A more definitive shape now, colours slowly seeping into the  
features as they hardened and became more and more recognizable.  
The hair remained a blank white, but the eyes - they were peaceful  
rather than icy, pacifying rather than mystifying, inviting rather than  
alienating. Their colour was - not the red of spilled blood, but   
lighter, a shade of rose, the exact tone and hue of cherry blossoms in   
spring -  
  
"She was not always like this. Unfortunately, you never saw what  
came before, but _I_ have. I suppose I can spare you another glimpse."  
  
The feminine figure disappeared, dissolving into the dark. Another,   
more celestial form replaced it, spreading slender, white arms of light   
so like wings against the blackness, simultaneously beautiful and   
terrible.  
  
"And you know what she desires."  
  
A stirring of a recent memory.  
  
"She wants someone...dead. Is it me?  
  
"She...wants _me_...dead? How? Why?!"   
  
Another short stint of laughter, as he asked the same question he had   
been asked so shortly before.   
  
"You know what you know, though you may not remember."  
  
A shiver through him. Heartbeat thundering rapidly in his ears. Fear   
becoming desperation.  
  
"What...what do you want?"  
  
"What do you want?" The apparition echoed.  
  
"I...want to know..."  
  
"I want to know," much less hesitantly than when he'd said it. A   
smile.  
  
Flash.  
  
***  
  
A classroom, with empty desks arranged in neat rows, facing an empty   
podium with an empty blackboard.   
  
Glancing at the windows, watching glassy light filter in from the grey   
void beyond. The place was alien at first, but then it seized upon his   
mind and impressed itself until it was as surely known to him as it   
would have if he had been there for years...and had he been here   
before? A day, a week, a year? Never? He no longer knew.  
  
Sitting at a desk, near the back of the class and away from the   
windows. Felt natural. Working hard, furiously penning a report for   
an absent teacher that was part of an absent past, trying to accomplish   
a goal for a long-gone guardian. Somehow, he looked up from his desk to   
find his solitude taken from him. Someone else was in the room.  
  
Body seeming to move on its own, perhaps from a habit the conscious   
mind had long forgotten. His eyes followed the line of the windows   
until they rested upon a small figure, seated by the windows, eyes   
turned away from him. Unlike him, his fellow occupant was not doing   
any work. Instead, she was looking, seemingly absentmindedly and   
uncaring, out the window into the blank grey void. What was so   
interesting outside, anyway?  
  
As if she heard him, she slowly turned to face him. Only then did  
he truly see why she had intrigued him so. The hair and the eyes...   
could never belong to any other girl he ever knew. And the look on her  
face; a mixture of surprise, fear, and -  
  
She opened her mouth to speak.  
  
Outside, it began to rain.  
  
"This is what you know." Not the girl's voice. But yet still -   
  
Flash.  
  
***  
  
A classroom, with empty desks arranged in neat rows, facing an empty   
podium with an empty blackboard.   
  
Looking out upon the gray void outside, ignoring the book on the  
desk. The text on the pages seemed a blur; a strange indistinctive  
jumble that almost became something one moment, and then seemed  
something else the next. No matter. It deserved no attention. And   
since there was nothing worth doing, her eyes were diverted to where   
there literally was nothing; outside the window, as she awaited the   
change that might or might not come.  
  
Except for a vague sensation from behind.  
  
A feeling of vague pressure...not physical. What could it be from? She   
had endured much pain, and could normally ignore it, but this was not   
pain. It was...odd. An uneasy feeling that could not be ignored.  
  
She turned around -  
  
- to find the boy staring at her, not with intent to examine, to  
intimidate, or to harm - just looking at her.  
  
She opened her mouth to speak.  
  
Outside, it began to rain.  
  
"This is what she knows." The same voice; not her own or the boy's.   
  
At the back of the room: another shape, indistinct, hiding in shadows   
that the light from the windows could not touch. But the silhouette of   
a young child, a girl perhaps, difficult to tell for the short hair. A   
thin smile on the child's lips.  
  
Flash.  
  
***  
  
Dressing up to die would have been the best way to describe it.  
  
Stripped to the bare skin, he slowly pulled on the cold, slick   
pseudofabric of the plugsuit, trying not to shiver at the sudden chill.   
He had come to hate doing this, this being asked to go out and die at   
his father's command, but it _was_ his father. There was nothing he   
could do but obey, and try his best not to wince as the plugsuit   
compressed with the touch of a button, taking his body into its icy   
clutch.  
  
On the first few times, he had changed in solitary silence, much in  
the way those who are sentenced to die are allowed to eat their last  
meal alone. Had his father arranged it this way? It could only remind   
him that every time he was called upon stood a good chance of being the   
last. But then, if this job carried such a risk, why wasn't he dead   
already, or running away, like last time?   
  
His father still...needed him. Yes, that was it, he had to come down   
here to change, then go back up there to that monster, and be ready to   
die, like a good son should.  
  
This time was different, though.  
  
On the other side of the barrier, _she_ was there. Stripping,   
changing, and getting ready to die, managing it far more efficiently   
than he ever could. Why? Because she had done this many times before?  
Because she was simply unafraid of death? Well...he hardly ever saw   
her fill her life with anything else other than Eva. Why did she do   
it, anyway? And what _were_ her feelings about his father, anyway?   
Did she pilot because of him? Because of what he might have done for   
her in the past? Or something else he didn't know? All he knew was   
that brief glimpse he had had of her, talking with that man freely, as   
though she were his father's true child, and he...just a stranger.  
  
Her slim silhouette - all that was visible through the barrier - turned   
to face him, and he could feel the weight of the unseen eyes, killing   
his unasked question before it could leave his throat. And all he   
could do was wonder why.  
  
"You wanted to know why." The apparition. A glimpse of a child's form   
at the edge of his vision. He tried to look -   
  
Flash.  
  
***  
  
She wasted no time drawing the loose plugsuit on, and then hitting the   
switch that compressed it about her form. She had to prepare to do   
battle with enemies from places and with purposes unknown. The   
prospect of death was of no concern to her. She would fulfill her   
purpose in this battle. She would fight with or without this boy, as   
she had trained her entire life to do. He would learn his place sooner   
or later, whether or not he remembered the incident from the escalator.  
  
Somehow the sounds of changing had stopped. He had already compressed   
his plugsuit, so why had he not departed? It was not her role to deal   
with such things; if it was necessary, the Commander would deal with   
them. Her place was to do what she was told, and now she had been told   
to pilot Eva. But he still had not moved.  
  
Was it because he was looking at her again?  
  
Why?  
  
"She also wanted to know why."  
  
Flash.  
  
***  
  
He was standing near one of the last two spots of light to be found in   
Japan, next to a...creature, with a demon's visage. He'd...they'd...   
received the signal to attack. He watched as the blue-haired girl   
turned away, going to do her duty as always, without hesitation or   
complaint.   
  
He stood there, again intrigued, wondering how and why she did what she   
did. Was she really this dedicated, possessing a strength he could   
never know? Did it have something to do with his father? He had   
asked, and she had given him an answer, but what was he to make of it?   
Would he even get the chance to ask again?  
  
This could be his last day alive. Some part of him deep inside   
shivered at the prospect, but the rest remained indifferent, perhaps   
even _wishing_ that death would visit him and end this slow torture at   
the hands of the man he was supposed to call Father.  
  
^No matter how great the storm, the moon will always show the same   
face.^  
  
What was that?  
  
"Ikari." He almost jerked in surprise.   
  
"You won't die."   
  
Bewildered silence was the only reply he could muster.   
  
"I will protect you."   
  
A brief glimpse of those crimson eyes, as she actually looked _at_ him   
instead of _through_ him, perhaps for the first time since he'd met   
her. In that half-second, he saw something there. But _what_?  
  
Flash.  
  
***  
  
A new place, but again strangely familiar. But something dark about   
the familiarity. His mind fighting _against_ recalling. The memory of   
the place threatening to tear the very fabric of his psyche apart.  
  
A simple place, but built to the scale of giants. A lake of orange   
ahead of him, the land ending abruptly. Out at the far side...a titan,   
limp and unresisting even with its hands nailed to a gigantic cross.   
Its face hidden behind a seven-eyed mask.  
  
"They saw, though you did not know it." A voice...seeming to come from   
the mask itself.   
  
"What?"   
  
"As you saw them."   
  
"... "   
  
"They saw you, as they see you now. A strange place you gave them." A   
pause. "And an even stranger place they gave you."   
  
"..."   
  
"But why did they give you a place at all?"   
  
"..."   
  
"Why were you kept, and not discarded, released, forgotten, as she did   
with so many other things when she unleashed the final reckoning on   
your unwilling world?"  
  
Something in that voice, betraying curiosity. It was not asking a   
question to which it already knew the answer.  
  
"Final reckoning...?"  
  
Exasperation. "You do not remember? She did it for you, know that at   
least. Of all things she ever did in her lives, she did it for you."   
  
"Lives...?"   
  
"To think she was so certain of her choice being the right one..." Sad   
consideration of what might have been. Switching rapidly over to   
anger, directed at him. "And you are a poor, pitiful, pathetic boy,   
completely unchanged from the final reckoning. I have practically given   
you the answer, and yet you refuse to see the truth. But perhaps a   
taste will remind you."   
  
A flash of something so quick it was almost unseen. Pale flesh   
rippled, flowed like liquid as it came away from the cross.   
  
A great, terrible, white foe rose up before him -   
  
Pain wracked his mind, in spite of the shortness of exposure. He fell   
to his knees, trying to breathe. His chest heaved at the ghost of the   
memory...but of what?  
  
"Wh...what are you doing?" His chest heaved.  
  
"Wrong answer."   
  
The sound of crying. And sobbing. His own. Hiding his head uselessly   
in his hands while clutching desperately the symbol of sacrifice one   
who might have known gave him, just before her pitifully useless   
death -   
  
"Do you remember?"   
  
- getting into the demon that might prove the world's only salvation   
against their might. Getting out of the ravaged building, but control   
was no longer his own, as he was taken along to fulfill a purpose he   
did not know -   
  
"Do you _remember_?"   
  
- the pain of the wings exploding from a back that was not his, unable   
to control events anymore. Seeing the ravaged body of his friend as the   
monsters turned from their bloody feast and raise him up, screaming and   
pierced in three places -   
  
"remember-remember-remember-remember-remember-remember"   
  
- hands exploding as holes were bored through them. Being pulled,   
shoved, dragged bodily further and further into the sky, but no longer   
by the wings of his once-eyeless captors. Being held between the hands   
of the giant now, whose eyes were nothing but points of light, like   
stars almost, against the empty sockets of its eyes -   
  
"--REMEMBEREMEMBEREMEMBEREMEMBEREMEMBEREMEMBEREMEMBER--"   
  
- seeing those eyes close, then open again, to see the color was a   
luminous red, round, and just like, no he could not, no he would not -   
  
REMEMBER.   
  
REMEMBER. NOW.  
  
***  
  
Curled up, his head buried in his knees, trying to hold himself   
together against something. Something hot flowing down his cheeks.   
  
He stood up, immediately wiping the tears from his face, to behold a   
small, deserted playground the hue of burnished gold.   
  
Home?   
  
No. There had never been any home.   
  
In the middle of the playground lay a sandbox, and in it lay a young,   
short-haired girl who was strangely devoid of colour, her entire form   
in shades of gray. She was playing - toying would have been more like   
it - with something in the hands. A featureless white doll.   
  
"You came here looking for the answer, didn't you."   
  
He found himself approaching the sandbox, much as he wanted to run away   
from it. His body seemed no longer under his command - as if something,   
or someone - was using it for another purpose. Whether to show him   
something or to destroy him, he did not know.   
  
"You wanted to know, didn't you?" Such a childish voice she had, and   
yet so damning.   
  
He could not speak. Only watch as things unfolded before his eyes.   
"You wanted to know what we wanted."   
  
She wasn't actually toying with the doll at all. She seemed to like   
throwing it, tossing it from hand to hand, one moment petting it, the   
next trying to pull its limbs off, with the same childish innocence   
that tainted her voice.   
  
"But you can have it now."   
  
She busied herself with burying it up to its neck in sand, then left.   
His hands found themselves digging through the golden grains, quickly   
scraping away until the doll was uncovered. Though its body still   
seemed unrecognizable, he felt growing unease at what the head looked   
like. It had somehow...become more human, as it were, with short hair   
and colorless eyes. He held it in one hand, studying it, trying to   
make out the -  
  
CRUNCH.   
  
The sound of something falling, and the briefest glimpse of spurting   
blood.  
  
Sight again. Only fine sand flowed from his hand where the doll had   
once been. Sand and drops of blood that flowed down his hand and   
stained the grains beneath.   
  
The severed head rolled away, and he could almost see the red eyes   
crying blood, and the short hair turned a calm colour -   
  
"You can have it now."  
  
Flash.  
  
***  
  
Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. Starting from nothing, and now back to   
nothing. Back in the void from whence this had all come. Perhaps   
close to escape? Or perhaps teetering on the edge of a tumble into   
further nightmares.  
  
"I wonder..." the same voice, from all around him. "Can your uselessly   
narrow mind comprehend, yet?"  
  
"What do you want?" Helplessness. "WHY?! Why are you doing this? WHO   
ARE YOU?"  
  
Sigh.  
  
"Perhaps you need focus. I cannot help but forget your human frailty."  
  
A body, again. The sensation of ground under his feet. But still   
surrounded by blackness. Ahead of him, an almost-discernible misty   
form.  
  
With form comes, by necessity, limits. The shape in front of him   
appeared humanoid, roughly his size. Perhaps it was not as strong as   
it wished him to think...  
  
"Why? A rather general question. What do I want? I want for   
nothing...I merely serve the wishes of my mistress." Perhaps it was   
coalescing. Or perhaps it was his imagination. Difficult to tell. A   
wisp of the mist surrounding it trailed away from its neck, stretching   
out into the blackness until it could no longer be seen.  
  
"Please..." pleading on his part. "Please...stop."  
  
Interest. Curiosity from the form in front of him. Like that of a   
child examining a bug, just prior to crushing it.  
  
"Let me out..." he whispered. "I don't...I don't understand."  
  
Sigh, again.  
  
"And where would you go, then? Back to that wasteland you so   
desperately cling to? To that pointless life you try to remake, when   
death is all you should have received? The reign of Man is drawing to   
a close. Your worthless efforts can do nothing to avert your true   
destiny, death."  
  
Shinji had taken several steps towards the shape as it continued   
speaking. Years of his life, years of incessant toil, were being   
struck down by just a few words from something which hadn't even   
bothered to identify itself yet, and which even so terrified him.  
  
"S...stop it," he muttered. "Don't...d-don't say that." He took   
another few steps towards the figure.  
  
The figure only regarded him cooly, watching his movements.  
  
"Just...let me go."  
  
A narrowing of the eyes. Painfully familiar concentric hexagons   
materialized as he took another step, and his body seemed instantly   
glued to them, in the pain of being electrocuted a million times over.  
  
^What...what is this?^  
  
"You should recognize the wall of the soul, if nothing else I have   
shown you."  
  
Blasted away from the pain, sailing backwards to stop suddenly,   
suspended above the imaginary ground by an unknown force.  
  
"The thing that will always bring you pain, and which, when offered the   
chance to eliminate forever, _you_ demanded to keep."  
  
Shinji found he could still speak.  
  
"Who are you? What is it you want with me?"   
  
"I am the one you knew." A simple answer.  
  
The figure became more distinct. Gradually, the mist surrounding it   
drew together, congealing into a human form.   
  
Almost human.  
  
A girl, in her late teens, with blue hair and red eyes that he was   
finally able to recognize. She was nude, her arms crossed over her   
chest out of what, in anyone else, may have been modesty. Her skin was   
luminescent, the pale glow lighting the area around her and Shinji but   
nothing else, being absorbed by the void around them. And on her back   
was an array of wings, a total of three pairs.  
  
His eyes grew wider in beats, as recognition dawned and his mind   
immediately tried to reject what it saw. Breathing accelerated.   
Shinji tried to back away, his feet scrabbling for traction where there   
would be none. Anything to try to put distance between him, and...   
and..._that_.  
  
"No...you c-can't be - "   
  
"No." Cutting him off before the fear could consume him. "I have only   
borrowed this form to appear before you, and her." As she became more   
defined, the tendril around her neck also coalesced, forming a finger-  
thick cord cinched tightly about her throat. She took this gingerly in   
her hand, holding it absentmindedly.   
  
Shinji watched, his eyes drawn to the cord like a moth to light. He   
thought that, perhaps...it looked like it was fraying.  
  
"But my strength grows," the girl-ghost asserted. "There will soon be   
a day, when all resistance will end, when I will break free of this   
shackle imposed on me." A smile at the reaction of her catch. "You   
need not fear me now. For the moment, I remain leashed. But a leash   
_can_ work both ways." Eye contact, gaze burning straight into his   
soul. "Chain a slave to her mistress, and both are prisoners."  
  
The girl seemed oblivious, both to Shinji's bewildered expression, and   
of the emergence of a dark form behind her. Something huge, titantic   
even. Humanoid.   
  
She advanced on him, about to say something further. But she cut off,   
turning to look off to the side, as though hearing a faint sound.  
  
Whispered: "They're coming."  
  
"Who?"   
  
Freeze. Shinji went bolt-stiff, as something touched his shoulder from   
behind. A heartbeat later they were on him. Hands. Countless, clawed   
hands, like the wraiths of nightmare, coming from the nothing behind   
him, and reaching for him.   
  
"The fools." Still inattentive to her charge. "Their quest for final   
death is useless now, but now they have only turned to revenge. No   
matter." A brief smile. "We will destroy them for you."   
  
Pause, as another gigantic, indistinct form appeared behind her, coming   
to stand alongside the first. "You are not surprised?" Mild interest.   
"That there would be a second?" Brief laugh. "She is weaker than I.   
But she is of the same essence as I. We will exist together. For your   
_benefit_." The last word said as a curse.  
  
The hands had come for him. Grabbing, pulling, tearing, clawing into   
him. Helplessness. Nothing with which to fight. Terror.  
  
The girl smirked, and behind her the two giant forms shattered,   
shedding what might have been skin but looked too solid for that.   
Underneath...brilliance. Light without shape. The two coming   
together, merging into one being. Sight obscured; a hand over his   
eyes, clawing at them, trying to tear them out. And then...  
  
_Power_. Unstoppable. Unquestioned. The hands blasted away, blown   
aside and scattered like leaves.   
  
Warmth, protection. Opening his eyes -  
  
Horror.  
  
The same girl, only enormous. Sitting helpless in her hands, looking   
up into her massive eyes, regarding him with that cold, sadistic glare.   
Being brought up towards her face, to her forehead -   
  
Screaming.  
  
A voice, as reality is rent apart:  
  
"But the day draws near when _I_ will be master."   
  
***  
  
Awake.  
  
He felt the ground under him again. For some reason, he felt happy to   
feel even that.  
  
What had just happened? He wasn't sure. For the dream - and that was   
what it had to have been - had already slipped away into the recesses   
of his mind, inaccessible and forgotten, just as all dreams are.  
  
He slowly got to his feet. ^Better for me not to remember it anyway,^   
he thought. The only thing he could recall was that it had been very   
frightening.  
  
Shinji slipped into thought, remembering why he'd come out here. He   
shook his head, as the memory surfaced. But as he walked away, his   
eyes caught the dark shape of Unit-00, looming overhead like a gigantic   
stone gargoyle, its eye staring off into infinity, searching for any   
threat to its keepers.  
  
He found his heart was thudding quite loudly in his chest. His stomach   
began to churn, looking at the machine. But the strangest part was   
that he didn't even know why he should feel this way.  
  
^Tired,^ he reasoned. ^Just tired.^  
  
He began to walk away, finding he had to fight the urge to run from   
Unit-00. This feeling just wasn't natural, even if he was exhausted.  
  
^Maybe Kaoru would be able to explain. Or maybe even Rei...^  
  
The prospect of an explanation was excuse enough. He started off at a   
light jog, which quickly accelerated. Very soon, he was running as   
fast as he ever had in his life.  
  
Yet, even having lived away from civilization for years, Shinji was   
still able to make mistakes out here. Such as running in the dark,   
over uncertain terrain. As such, he did not see the rock until it was   
too late.  
  
His foot caught, and he stumbled, trying to catch himself and failing,   
going over the edge of a small cliff with a brief cry of shock. It   
wasn't a very long fall, a meter or so, but he could not break the fall   
with his arms alone. The last thing he saw before unconsciousness   
snatched him away was the ground rushing up at him, slamming him in the   
forehead like a sledgehammer.  
  
Not far off, the single eye of Unit-00 flickered once, then died.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: Well, I figure that was enough of an acid trip for one   
chapter. Don't feel bad if you're left wondering what the hell just   
happened. But yes, that last section actually _did_ take place in the   
'real' world.  
  
Special thanks go to the Avatar of Dragonia for prereading this   
chapter, and whose work was essential in working this thing over into   
what you have just read. Whether or not this is a good thing, I leave   
up to you. ^_^  
  
Final note: OK, I'm through procrastinating, at least for now.   
Everyone can expect me to keep a more regular schedule on this fic. So   
don't let the incredibly skewed dates below throw you off. Also, in   
case anyone didn't notice, Chapter 11 of this fic is newly rewritten   
and available both on my site and ff.net.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: December 11, 2001  
Version 1 Ended: January 1, 2002  
Version 2 Ended: March 3, 2002  
Version 3 Ended: May 16, 2002  
Version 4 Ended: May 17, 2002  
  
Thanks go to the Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and Judging Eagle,   
as always, for being my prereaders, and putting up with my hopelessly   
long delays.  
  
New site location: http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/srfics/index.html  
  
e-mail: otakusadist@hotmail.com 


	16. Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 12: Doomed Messenger  
  
Ariel slowly made her way out of the sea of LCL, her breathing labored,   
as one who has just run a long distance. She began wringing the gooey   
fluid out of her hair, which by now had grown down to well below her   
shoulderblades.  
  
She'd known it would be dangerous to try this again, with Tabris   
waiting on the material plane and Armisael waiting in the ethereal.   
But all the same, she'd found it steadily more difficult to resist the   
temptation to sink down into the Room of Gauf, to touch those souls one   
more time. It had been on her thoughts all night; sleep had refused to   
come, while she was thinking about what she could have done better last   
time.  
  
This trip into the sea of souls had gone better than the last one, even   
if it hadn't really been a success. Though she hadn't been able to   
contact any of the others, she'd successfully been able to take   
measures to protect herself. A careful manipulation of her AT field   
had masked her presence quite well. She'd felt Armisael's presence,   
that cold, sharp feeling that seemed to effortlessly cut through the   
wall of her soul. But it had not seen her. Or rather, it had been   
unable to distinguish her from the other hordes of souls.   
Unfortunately, things would be different if she'd descended further,   
trying to reach her brethren. No human would dare go that deep, not   
even the ones who desired nothing more than to remain in the sea of   
souls for all eternity. Shielded or not, Armisael would realize   
something was wrong. She'd have to take a more active posture to   
defend herself.  
  
Of course, _how_ she was going to do that, she didn't know. Yet.  
  
She trudged up the sandy beach and made some cursory effort at wiping   
herself off before pulling her clothes back on. Sunrise was still a   
few hours off, so she'd have time to sneak back, hopefully without   
Tabris ever knowing she'd come out here. She'd just finished dressing   
and was about to start off towards the camp when she saw that someone   
else was with her.  
  
At first, she panicked, thinking that perhaps Tabris had found her   
again. She looked wildly for a place to hide, ending up ducking behind   
a sand dune, even though she knew the new arrival would have seen here   
easily, her dark form in sharp relief against the star-lit sand.  
  
But something was wrong about this person. As she began to calm down,   
her sharp eyes saw that the outline was different from that of Tabris.   
He - well, she assumed it was a he - was moving as though in a daze,   
with slow, deliberate motions. She briefly wondered if he was even in   
control of his own movements.   
  
Curiousity replaced fear, as something told her this was not a threat   
to her immediate continued existence. She padded over to him, starting   
a bit when the moonlight illuminated his features, revealing the new   
arrival to be none other than Shinji Ikari.  
  
"Ikari-ku...Shinji-kun?" she asked, slipping as she remembered her talk   
with Asuka from the other night.  
  
The boy, oddly enough, didn't respond. It was as though he didn't even   
know she was there. He just kept walking, slowly shuffling towards the   
coastline.  
  
Feeling some apprehension at this odd behavior, Ariel circled around in   
front of him, putting her hands on his shoulders and forcing him to   
stay in one place. He stopped, not from the force but from apparently   
having decided at that very moment that he'd walked far enough. With   
the same slow, dazed quality, his head raised up to look at her.  
  
From the moment she saw it, Ariel didn't like the look in his eyes.   
She had her own reservations about talking with this boy; she still   
couldn't believe this creature had posessed the power to stop the   
Unification. Still...every time he looked at her, she could see a   
flicker of recognition, of memory trying to surface.   
  
But this...this was one step further. No, this was several steps   
further. His eyes, staring blankly at her at first, focused on her   
face, and she immediately felt as though she'd been laid bare, right   
down to her very soul.  
  
"You..." he began, his voice slurring a bit.  
  
Ariel dropped her arms to her sides, stepping away from him.  
  
"You...you are...you are the one called..."  
  
Now the girl's eyes narrowed, her ears pricking to try and make out   
what he was saying.  
  
"the one...ah..." he stuttered. "Ah...air...ah-rye..."  
  
Now the girl's eyes widened, as she guessed at what he was trying to   
say.  
  
"Ah-rye-el..." he finally said. "You are the one known as Arael," he   
continued, in a dead monotone.  
  
Ariel took another step back. "What...what do you mean...Shinji-kun?"   
she asked, trying to sound convincingly ignorant and knowing that it   
was futile.  
  
"You do not belong..." Shinji said, taking a step towards her. Ariel   
swallowed.  
  
But then, Shinji's eyes fluttered. His knees buckled, and he   
collapsed, going face-first into the sand.  
  
Ariel paused, watching him with careful eyes. When he remained   
motionless, she approached and nudged him with her toe. All she got   
was a slight twitch from his fingers, but that was still enough to make   
her jump back over a meter. Finally, she pushed back her fear and   
knelt down next to him, putting her fingers to his neck.  
  
"Still alive..." she muttered. But when did this happen? What did it?  
  
And, more importantly, what the hell was she supposed to do now?  
  
She was tempted to leave him there, letting him wake up on his own and   
find his own way back to the camp. But then, she saw the blood   
trickling from under his head. She hadn't noticed it a moment ago, but   
hadn't his forehead been bleeding? What if something was really wrong   
with him? Wouldn't she be to blame if he was injured?  
  
Blame, she could deal with. She hadn't been the one who'd given him   
that injury. But then there were Tabris and Zero to think about. And   
both of them had connections of their own to Ikari...  
  
In addition to this was some other feeling...something she wasn't sure   
was entirely from her, but which still resounded in her psyche. She   
felt...saddened, seeing him like this. Whatever strength he may have   
had was gone, at least for the moment, and he'd been reduced to an   
unconscious lump. She couldn't explain why this should bother her so;   
if nothing else she should have felt gratified, as this proved that   
Ikari was a human being, nothing more. But...the sensation was still   
there. And somehow she knew that if she tried to leave him behind, the   
feeling would only get stronger. That wouldn't do, not at all.  
  
With a grunt of mild exertion, she hefted him up, draping his limp body   
over her shoulders. After catching her breath, she tested her legs,   
seeing that she was more than strong enough to carry him like this.   
She started off, back for the camp.  
  
***  
  
"What an idiot."  
  
Silence was the only answer to Asuka's comment on the situation. So   
she could only just look at her lap and mumble out, "idiot", one more   
time.  
  
They were inside a large olive-colored tent, marked by a red cross over   
the entrance. No lights were on to push off the early morning   
darkness, so the only illumination came from the indicator lights of   
the gear monitoring the patient's life signs. The steady beeping of an   
EKG was the only noise for some time.  
  
"He _is_ just unconscious", Ariel ventured, from her position in the   
corner.  
  
"But still!" Asuka countered, her voice a whisper but her tone still   
harsh. "To go and trip like that. What a baka." By habit, she pulled   
her fist back to bonk Shinji on the head, but stopped as she decided   
against it. Ariel just let out a sigh so low only she could hear it.   
  
It hadn't taken too long for Ariel to make her way back to the camp,   
drawing more than a few odd stares from the few people who were awake.   
She'd immediately dumped Shinji off at the medical tent and gone to get   
some help. It hadn't taken long for word to spread about the co-leader   
of the camp's condition, and it hadn't taken much longer for Asuka to   
appear at the entrance to the tent, her expression of worry not yet   
hidden by her mask of anger. Now, though, the room's two occupants had   
had more than enough time to settle in. Ariel rested on a chair in the   
corner of the tent, so she could keep an eye on who came and went,   
while Asuka sat in the room's only other chair, at the side of the bed   
and close to the exit.  
  
"He should wake up soon," Ariel commented, meeting Asuka's eyes as she   
tried to gauge the effect of these words on the other girl. Asuka   
didn't say anything, but Ariel could still pick up on the slight   
relaxation in the German girl, reassured now that she'd heard someone   
else say it.  
  
Every once in a while, someone else would stick their head in to see   
how Shinji was doing. Not many people said anything, just a quick   
glance before they thought either girl could notice them there.   
Misato, Touji, Kensuke, Hikari, and Ritsuko had all taken slightly   
longer visits, joining the two girls in their vigil for a time. They'd   
all tried to ease the tension, but nothing had really worked; both   
girls were too tired to really talk. The gathering over at the   
Americans' side of the settlement, followed by _this_, had cut short   
their time to sleep.   
  
However, fatigue hadn't kept Ariel from noticing Ritsuko's attitude   
during her visit, shorter than any of the others. The blond woman had   
checked over the monitoring gear, just glancing it over but Ariel could   
tell the woman had been able to glean more information from that glance   
than some medical doctors could. But as she'd left, Ritsuko had spared   
the patient one glance. In that glance, there hadn't been the fear in   
the other people's faces. Just a blankness Ariel had previously only   
associated with Zero. That blankness had been hiding something, but   
Ariel hadn't been able to distinguish what. It hadn't been concern,   
that much she was sure of.  
  
As time passed, sunlight made its slow crawl along the ground and into   
the tent. Ariel finally got her first good look at Asuka in the light.   
When she did, she snorted. She shook a little, trying to contain   
herself, but finally broke into laughter, the kind of giddy laugh born   
of lack of sleep, in which nearly anything can become funny.  
  
"What?" Asuka asked, raising one eyebrow at the white-haired girl. She   
couldn't resist an empathic grin of her own.  
  
"You...you look like a _raccoon_!" Ariel said, in between laughs. She   
had to look away from Asuka, making herself hold her breath to stop   
before Asuka took offense.  
  
"I what?" Asuka asked in reply, not understanding.  
  
"You..." Ariel tried to begin, looking back to the other girl. She   
couldn't resist another short laugh, seeing her again. "You have dark   
circles under your eyes," she said, tracing out circles under her own   
eyes for emphasis. She calmed herself down before continuing. "You   
should get some sleep."  
  
Asuka had closed her eyes, shaking with a small laugh of her own,   
though she was more successful at containing it than Ariel had been.   
"Well...well _you_ don't look any better!" she countered.  
  
"Probably so. But I think you've been here long enough, Asuka. You   
should at least lie down for a while before the day gets started."  
  
Asuka snorted. "Too late," she said, gesturing to the pool of sunlight   
that was already up to the bed.  
  
Ariel paused for half a heartbeat to think out what to say next.   
"You're not really setting a good example," she began. She turned her   
head, looking at Asuka slantwise in imitation of nonchalance. "And   
besides, what will Shinji-kun think if _you_ suddenly pass out from   
simple lack of sleep?"  
  
Asuka perked up at that, sitting up a little straighter in her chair.   
"I can go whole days without sleep," she said, sticking her nose in the   
air. "Did it all the time in college."  
  
Ariel consulted the portion of her memory that came from the other   
girl. "And you always...ahem, I would _guess_ you always ended up   
paying for it later. Say...falling asleep during an English test," she   
said, trying to sound like she was just pulling the example out of the   
air.  
  
Asuka's cheeks reddened as she remembered that particularly embarassing   
incident. "Hmph," she said, turning away. After a brief moment, she   
got to her feet. "Well, _I've_ got a job to do," she said. "Tell that   
baka to come see me when he wakes up, so I can dole out his   
punishment."  
  
"All right, all right," Ariel said, also rising. Her legs creaked   
after so long a period of unuse, and her back ached. Still, it was   
going to be a relief to go lie down for a while...  
  
"And where are _you_ going?" Asuka asked, putting her hands on her   
hips.  
  
"Eh?" Ariel asked, knowing what the answer was going to be before the   
word had even left her mouth.  
  
"Well, _I_ have to go make sure no one's walking off a cliff," Asuka   
said, gesturing proudly to her chest. "You on the other hand, would   
just be wasting time somewhere. So I _order_ you: you stay here and   
tell me when this idiot wakes up, got it?"  
  
The blood drained from Ariel's face, as the thought of sitting here   
another three or four hours dawned on her.  
  
"Don't give me that look," Asuka said, shaking her head slowly.   
"You're the one making me leave. Unless..." she said, as though the   
idea had just come to her, "...you want to go get sleep, in which case   
_I'll_ stay."  
  
Ariel hesitated for a moment, before her shoulders fell. She could see   
it in Asuka's stature, what the girl wanted her answer to be. She made   
a choice.  
  
She plopped back down in her seat, the chair creaking under her. "All   
right, Asuka, get going," she said, waving at her.  
  
Asuka froze, giving Ariel a confused look. She blinked several times,   
as she realized Ariel had actually called her bluff. Finally, she   
tensed her fists, turning on her heel.  
  
"Good!" she said, a bit too loudly. "Remember, the _second_ that   
baka's conscious!"  
  
"Understood," Ariel mumbled, even though Asuka probably didn't hear   
her. ^My apologies, Asuka. But if only one of us can get sleep, it   
had best be you. Your job is more important than whatever menial task   
I might be assigned.^ She looked down to Shinji, who remained placidly   
asleep. ^You owe me, Ikari-kun.^ She still referred to him as 'Ikari-  
kun' in her thoughts; it was hard to erase the title Zero had used on   
him, when it had been all she'd had to go on during the years in limbo.  
  
^You, the one who caused Zero to seal me and my brethren away...^ she   
shook her head. ^To see you reduced to this.^ Pause. ^You're at my   
mercy, aren't you?^  
  
A small part of her idly wondered what would happen if Shinji   
'accidentally' smothered in his sleep. She could use a pillow to...  
  
^NO.^ She shook her head violently, throwing out that aberrant thought.   
^I cannot risk something like that. Someone would find out, and   
then...^ Pause. ^I would feel guilty? Is that the name for that   
sensation? My thoughts are more confounded by the day. I trust this   
is just some effect resulting from the fatigue.^  
  
She hunched forwards, sitting on her hands and trying very hard not to   
think. The blissful boredom had just begun to settle back in when two   
sets of footsteps could be heard approaching the tent. Ariel had been   
living here long enough to guess at who it was. She took a breath,   
gathering herself together as she clenched a small fist.  
  
The first person she saw was Kaoru, sticking his head in through the   
flap, wearing that smug smile that seemed eternally glued onto his   
face. Ariel smoldered, quietly envisioning ways to remove that grin,   
none of them pleasant.  
  
Kaoru crooked a finger at her. "Ariel-san, if you wouldn't mind...?"  
  
Ariel looked away. "I've been told to stay here, Tabris. You can't   
override that."  
  
Kaoru shook his head at her. "A slip like that could give you away,   
_Ariel_-san," he said, coming very close to correcting the   
mispronunciation that had become her name. "And in any case, you know   
as well as I that Shinji-kun does not need protecting, at least not for   
the moment. So, if you would?"  
  
Ariel made an annoyed noise, but rose. She crossed the tent in a few   
strides and was soon blinking in the sun, shielding her eyes against   
the surprisingly harsh glare. But even her momentary blindness didn't   
keep her from noticing the other arrival, standing just off to the side   
of the tent flap. Ariel could _smell_ Zero's presence. It made her   
want to retch.  
  
"Thank you," Kaoru said, sparing Ariel a nod. He immediately shifted   
his gaze to the other girl. "You can go in now, Rei."  
  
Rei made a small noise of acknowledgement before brushing by Ariel, who   
was still standing in front of the entrance. Ariel shivered, not   
bothering to cover her grimace as Rei moved past her.  
  
"You should find a way to be civil around Rei, you know," Kaoru   
remarked, stepping off to the side a bit.  
  
Ariel followed his movements with her eyes, without turning her head.   
"Compared to what I would prefer to do to her, that _is_ civil."  
  
Kaoru looked at her for a long moment before letting out a low sigh.   
"You disappoint me, Ariel-san. I'd have thought joining the lilum   
ranks would have given you a new perspective."  
  
^I don't want to kill everyone, just one person in particular,^ Ariel   
thought in reply. The words didn't make it to her voice, fortunately.   
She crossed her arms over her chest, meeting Kaoru's deceptively cold   
gaze with one of her own. "What cause do you have to bother me this   
morning, _Nagisa_-san?"  
  
"We are simply concerned for Shinji-kun," Kaoru replied, matter-of-  
factly. "As much as you might wish to believe otherwise, we did not   
come expressly to bother you." He paused, staring at her face for a   
moment. "And it seems you have had a hard enough time already."  
  
Ariel 'hmph'ed in response, doing her best to mimic Asuka when she did   
it.  
  
"I will take over watching Shinji-kun, if you wish."  
  
"No." The reply was immediate. "I have the strength to watch a   
hospital bed. Don't concern yourself with me."  
  
"I wasn't. I am thinking of Shinji-kun's health." He stopped there,   
letting a moment of silence pass. Then:  
  
"So you would sacrifice your own health just to further endear yourself   
to Soryu?" he asked.  
  
"That's not your business."  
  
Another pause. "What are you going to do when she finds out?"  
  
Ariel grit her teeth, whirling and stepping up to him, both her fists   
clenched. "_You_ should not bother," she hissed out. "My plans are my   
business alone." She punctuated this by raising a fist up to his eyes.   
She could look him dead in his eye, without needing to tilt her head;   
Ariel was fairly tall to begin with, and Kaoru had not had the benefit   
of a growth spurt like Shinji had.  
  
Kaoru didn't flinch. "Very well," he said, nodding once. His own hand   
flashed up, grabbing Ariel by the wrist. "But my advice stands that   
you find a way to be civil to Rei. It is in your best interests to   
control yourself, Ariel-san." He forced her hand back down, slowly and   
deliberately. Ariel fought against it, but found that even her toned-  
up muscles could not shake him off.  
  
Ariel was finally able to step away when Kaoru let go. Massaging a   
sore wrist, she turned her back to him. "And why are you waiting out   
here, Nagisa? I would have guessed you would also wish to see Ikari-  
kun in this condition." She tried to keep her voice even, but couldn't   
keep a nervous shiver out of her voice.  
  
"I do," Kaoru said, his voice calm. "But Rei requested some time   
alone. It was the least I could do."  
  
Ariel 'hmph'ed again, this one even less successful than the first.  
  
***  
  
The only visitor inside the medical tent was easily ignoring the   
argument just outside. It was none of her concern, at least not for   
the moment.  
  
But now...she was at a loss for what to do. It was actually a similiar   
sensation to the one she'd felt upon hearing that Shinji was in the   
infirmiary, suffering from some kind of head wound. Simple   
helplessness and confusion. She didn't know what was expected of her,   
or what the elusive feelings inside her required of her.  
  
However, she remembered that she had been in this situation a few times   
before. An empty seat was placed conviently by the bed; she settled   
quietly into this. Usually she would have brought a book with her to   
pass the time until he finally awoke; any book, no matter how dull   
others might think it, would keep her occupied until she'd read the   
last page.  
  
But this time was slightly different in that she wouldn't - or rather,   
couldn't - stay here that long. Kaoru was insistent that they look   
over Unit-00 this morning, though why she wasn't sure. But she did   
know that she felt more at ease here, able to see with her own eyes   
that Shinji was still alive and relatively well. She knew something of   
wounds and healing, and could tell that the wound on his head would   
close soon.  
  
"Rei?" Kaoru's voice came through the open tent flap. "Is everything   
all right?"  
  
"Yes," she answered simply.  
  
"May I come in?"  
  
Rei heard the girl outside mutter something angrily under her breath.   
She paid it no heed. "Yes."  
  
Kaoru pushed his way through the flaps and joined Rei at the bedside.   
"I heard nothing from outside," he commented, quietly. "I did not know   
what to think."  
  
Rei said nothing, still looking at Shinji's sleeping form. Kaoru   
waited.  
  
"I do not know..." Rei began, quietly. "...what I should do in this   
situation."  
  
A pause. "Yet you visited all the same...why?"  
  
Rei shook her head silently.  
  
Kaoru went back to watching Shinji's chest rise and fall, waiting for   
something to happen. When nothing did, he tried another path of   
conversation:  
  
"Would you like to stay here? I believe I can study Unit-00 on my   
own."  
  
Another head shake. Whether it meant 'no' or 'I don't know', Kaoru   
wasn't sure.  
  
The sound of quiet breathing from the three of them as Kaoru's mind   
spun its wheels. "Would you like to say something? Perhaps Shinji-kun   
can hear, though he remains asleep."  
  
No response. Possibly a signal he was going down the right path. "Do   
you not know what to say?"  
  
A long pause, then a hesitant nod, so small he wouldn't have seen it if   
he hadn't been focusing his entire attention on what Rei was doing.  
  
"Well...a suggestion is to simply wish him well. Rather appropriate   
for this situation, wouldn't you say?" he asked, smiling a little.  
  
Rei did not mirror the smile. She simply remained quiet.  
  
Kaoru watched her for a few minutes, before shrugging. "I will be at   
Unit-00," he said, as he left. Rei heard him say something to Ariel,   
and was dimly aware that it was a warning to stay out of the tent for a   
few more minutes.  
  
After some indeterminate time, she stood. She took a breath as though   
to speak, but then let it out slowly without uttering a word. She   
shifted her weight to turn, but then seemed to change her mind and move   
back alongside the bed.  
  
Carefully, she reached out with one hand and brushed Shinji's hair   
back, away from the cut on his head. She ran her fingers over the   
wound, taking care not to disturb the dried blood. For some reason,   
her hand felt cooler against his skin.  
  
"I...wish you well, Ika...Shinji-kun," she said, finally. "And...I am   
sorry."  
  
She wasn't entirely sure where that last part had come from. The words   
had come into her head, and she had seen no reason not to say them.   
With that, she finally walked out of the tent, much to the relief of   
the girl waiting outside.  
  
Soon after Rei and Kaoru had left Ariel alone, tranquility had settled   
back in on the medical tent. The white-haired girl sat quietly in a   
chair, her chin dipping slowly down to rest on her chest, until finally   
her breathing came slowly and regularly. The only sound came from her   
occasional snore and the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor.  
  
***  
  
Shinji's head was pounding.  
  
That was the first and only thing that he could think of: that the   
mother of all headaches had settled down into his skull, and looked   
like it was going to be staying for a while.  
  
He groaned, the mere thought of getting to his feet more than enough to   
make him nauseous. And he'd been in the middle of such a nice dream,   
too. A soft voice, comforting and unnerving at the same time, had   
spoken to him as though through a wall. He hadn't been able to make   
out words, but he remembered the apprehension had faded and a wave of   
calm had washed over him. There had been a soft hint of pressure on   
his forehead, and then it had been gone.  
  
And now, here he was, wishing so much to just be able to go back to   
sleep. But, he figured he may as well see where he was, since last he   
remembered he'd been on the ground in front of Unit-00. This   
definitely didn't feel like hard soil under him. He opened his eyes,   
staring upwards into the canvas roof of a tent.   
  
His brain felt like it was sloshing around in his skull. Nothing could   
stick, for several moments. He was too confused to recognize it at the   
moment, but it was not unlike how he'd felt in those first few moments   
after his Eva had gone berserk.  
  
He coudl feel the softness under him that was not the hard ground he'd   
grown used to. As he moved, he could hear the loud rustling of over-  
starched sheets under him.  
  
^What happened?^ he wondered, as his thoughts started becoming more   
coherent. He tried to recall the last thing that had happened, but   
that turned out to be an effort in futility. All he got were scrambled   
memories, all from sometime yesterday evening, but he wasn't sure when,   
exactly.  
  
For some reason, his mind kept drifting back to Eva-00. The thought of   
that giant made his blood run cold, for some reason. But all the same,   
he found himself returning to it on it, coming back to the thought and   
then trying in vain to focus on something else, something less   
frightening, only to see that cyclopean visage in his mind once again.   
  
Some amount of time passed. Shinji's eyes drifted over to the left,   
not noticing Ariel's sleeping form. There, in the corner, was a simple   
metal pole, supporting an IV bag. It wasn't hooked up to him; it had   
simply been brought in, just in case.  
  
Shinji had no way of telling just what fluid was in that bag, but he   
felt an inexplicable apprehension from looking at it. It seemed   
harmless enough, dripping occasionally, keeping time with the beeping   
from the heart machine.  
  
Dripping. Something made Shinji look down, to see what it was dripping   
onto. Someone had left an old plate on the ground, either by chance or   
to catch the drips he didn't know. But yet...the white surface of the   
plate did not seem to be quite as perfect as it should be. Three dark   
spots had seemingly been burned into the plate's surface. Their   
arrangement bore a striking resemblance to a human skull: two large   
round ones spots for eyes, and one smaller triangular one approximating   
a mouth. Shinji's eyes, still unfocused, widened a little as a drip   
from the IV struck the plate. A wisp of smoke snuck off the plate   
where the fluid hit it, accompanied by the sizzling sound of something   
melting.   
  
He wasn't alone. The sleeping girl in the corner notwithstanding,   
Shinji could somehow _feel_ that something else was in the room. It   
didn't take long before he found it. Or perhaps the other way around.  
  
Something fell down next to him, from somewhere above. Though Shinji's   
face still appeared calm, the increasingly rapid beeps from the heart   
monitor told otherwise. The thing began to show itself.  
  
At first, it just appeared to be a thin black line on his pillow.   
Until that line moved, twitching as it was joined by another such line.   
As it turned out, it was not a line but a leg. A long, spindly   
appendage pulling a ridiculously oversized body up into view. Shinji   
blinked, forcing himself to focus on the thing. He remembered what   
this was, a daddy longlegs. A sort-of spider, and completely harmless.   
At least, that was what his mind was telling him. But Shinji's eyes   
widened, nonetheless.  
  
Something was wrong. Daddy longlegs didn't have eyes, did they? He   
couldn't remember. But this one's body was covered in eyes,   
perpetually staring in every direction, and colored the exact shade of   
LCL. As it moved, these eyes dripped with some kind of fluid. The   
pillow hissed as this fluid hit it, tiny holes burned into the fabric.  
  
The creature stopped. Though the eyes never moved, Shinji got the   
distinct impression that it was looking at him. And very closely, too,   
in the way someone looks at a familiar face, before recollection   
finally comes. Shinji's eyes snapped away from the thing, over to the   
plate still sitting in the corner. The creeping sunlight was playing   
with the shadows on its surface; now the triangle mouth almost appeared   
to be grinning at a private joke.  
  
Fear welled up in him, but came too late. Before Shinji even had time   
to scream, the daddy longlegs wound up its tiny body and leapt onto his   
face.  
  
And then, he was no longer in the world.  
  
***  
  
He was the strongest of his brethren. Floating invincible, taunting the   
bastard offspring holed up in their pitiful sand castle of a stronghold   
below with his invulnerability. Soon they would be gone, and the True   
Children would be all that remained in a world that they would make. A   
mere thought, and the bastard's toys, their only pittance from the   
forbidden fruit, were gone, as was most of their protection. The symbol   
of the creator flared out in a show of righteous destruction,   
terrifying the weaklings that fled out of his way. As their protection   
disintegrated, he ventured in. He would find his way to the progenitor   
with certainty.  
  
He was met by a hail of bright pinpricks, weaving their way from an   
equal in size, colored red, the shade of war and blood. It mocked him   
with its less than useful attempts at attack, and he simply deprived it   
of its arms. It screamed in a voice only he could hear, but it again   
tried to attack him, in a blind charge. So he simply deprived it of   
its head.  
  
The next challenger that was gazed by his eyeless sockets was a little  
different. It had no left arm, and it was a shade of blue, of the calm   
of thought. In its hand was a small, round object, with characters   
from a script he did not know, but he instantly knew what that pale   
imitation was for. The challenger passed through his absolute   
territory, but despite its colouring, it did not have the wisdom to see   
his final defense. So he did much the same to it as he had done with   
the last.  
  
He was almost on his goal now. He could feel the calling of the true   
Father as he forcefully beat down the last walls and came upon the   
pitiful beings who had thought to blaspheme the creator's essence, with   
the dolls they thought could challenge him. Though he had only  
empty spaces where there should have been eyes, he could see the   
expressions of final terror on their faces as death became him in their   
eyes. When...  
  
Death came for him.  
  
Neither blue nor red, the incarnation of ferocity and vengeance came   
out of nowhere, with much the same form as the last two challengers,   
but infinitely more gruesome. And then it was merely a blur; the   
torture of merciless attack, a moment of weakness, a strange  
revivification...and then final death.  
  
But even with the last bits of the vision, Shinji could hear the cries   
for vengeance that were not his own, even as he was pulled into   
another, different, one.  
  
He was again not himself. He felt tiny...mocked, and on a shaky   
foundation. But he could see 360 degrees all around him, and though he   
knew he was the weakest, it would all change if he was to succeed where   
others had failed.  
  
Despite being the weakest, he was too large and ungainly to reach the   
Father directly. No matter. Even though the toys of the bastards   
could harm him, they posed no threat to him now. And no wall could   
stand for long against his tears of self-pity, nursed so long  
in isolation that they burned. So began his lament, crying out to the   
progenitor in search of salvation, but then...  
  
His weakness became the death of him.  
  
As he left the vision, the same cry for vengeance resonated again in   
his mind, both the one before and the one after, until they became so   
intertwined and echoing in the expanding dark that they seemed one and   
the same.  
  
It was then that he hit the bottom, with nothing but the shock of   
stopping to tell him. There was nothing of the pain of being smashed   
against a hard surface. The pain did not recede, but something else   
drew his attention, as he heard the cries of frustration, vengeance,   
and pain whirl above him, drawing into the unmistakable shape of an   
eye, staring at him without mercy. And yet another sight formed within   
its dark depths, forming the image of a head...a white skull, with the   
same empty spaces for eyes and a mouth as he had seen once before.  
  
He did not know who or what created the phantasmagoria of horror that   
now floated above him, stripping away his mind and leaving a poor,   
bare, naked fear. But _it_ knew him.  
  
^We know you now. And we know what you have done to us.^ A voice, or   
two voices, or many voices, speaking in perfect unison.  
  
Shinji did nothing. All he could do was watch and listen.  
  
^You have known us before. But She is not with you now. And you   
cannot stop us.^  
  
Shinji was aware of heat. At first no more than a vague discomfort, it   
was rapidly growing in intensity.  
  
^You cannot control your doll. You fail to even notice the Traitor in   
your midst, and accept her as one of your own even though she too would   
have destroyed you all. Consider this our pittance to the inferior   
species. We tell you the hour of your death, whence we come.^  
  
Now the heat was unbearable; it felt as though his entire body was   
aflame. And yet, through the blinding, burning pain, he could hear one   
thing: a laugh. Rather, _two_ laughs. Half-crazed to begin with, now   
utterly insane with the promise of long-awaited release. And in no way   
human.  
  
Shinji screamed.  
  
***  
  
Ariel let out a loud groan as consciousness found her again. She   
definitely did _not_ feel like being awake, right now. Sleeping in a   
chair had not been such a great idea, as now her body ached nearly   
everywhere, and she hadn't even moved yet.  
  
But then again, sleep was not quite so tantalizing, either. Her rest   
had been plagued by strange dreams. The last such dream - of a warm   
rain suddenly turning to acid, melting the land and everyone on it -   
had been enough to shock her awake. She wasn't sure of what such a   
vision could mean -   
  
The rest of the world was beginning to intrude. Though she hadn't   
opened her eyes yet, her other senses were waking up quickly. And now,   
one sound in particular was grabbing her attention: the drawn-out   
'beeeeeeeep' of a flatlined heart monitor.  
  
Ariel's eyes snapped open, immediately going to the bed where Shinji   
lay. Correction: where Shinji _had_ been lying. For where the leader   
of the camp had previously been lying comatose, there was now nothing   
but an empty bed. The electrodes that had been stuck to Shinji's body   
were stretched out and abandoned on the floor, explaining why the heart   
rate monitor read nothing.  
  
She was on her feet in an instant, fighting off momentary dizziness as   
the blood rushed to her head. Ariel stumbled over to the bed, blinking   
away the last of sleep. She rested her hands on the white sheets,   
sinking into the mattress as her eyes roved over the bed, looking for   
any trace of Shinji Ikari. It was then that she saw it.  
  
Her eyes cold, she reached out, gingerly taking the curled-up form of   
the daddy longlegs off of the pillow. The bug was dead, she could tell   
that much just from how it hung motionless from her fingers. Her gaze   
drifted back down to the bed, lingering on the pillow where the imprint   
of Shinji's head could still be seen. Her breath caught as something   
registered.  
  
She was out of the tent before the carcass of the daddy longlegs had   
even hit the ground.  
  
***  
  
"Don't you have work do be doing?"  
  
"Well..." Kensuke said, shrugging. "I guess so. But I think I need a   
break from that."  
  
"Heh heh. My kinda kid. Knows when to take time off."  
  
"Really, Major? I mean, sir? I mean - "  
  
"You're not under my command. Lewis is fine."  
  
"O-okay, Lewis-san," Kensuke replied, grinning ear-to-ear.  
  
They were currently standing nearly in the middle of the American side   
of the camp, as evidenced by the camo fatigues nearly everyone wore and   
the guns kept in plain view. They were both leaning against the side   
of a dormant M1 tank, taking a cigarette break. Well, technically,   
only one of them was on a cigarette break, as evidenced by the   
smoldering cylinder between Lewis' fingers. But Kensuke rarely missed   
an opportunity to talk with the American commander, these days. Lewis   
didn't seem to mind him, at least.  
  
"So, anyway," the younger of the two was going on, "you were saying   
you're bringing in SAM batteries?"  
  
"Yep. Surface-to-Air-Missiles can be fun. Might even be worth the   
trouble, what with everyone telling me the charlies can fly."  
  
"Charlies," Kensuke repeated. There was something intoxicating - to   
him anyway - to hearing a _real_ military officer say that word. "So   
then what about this tank?"  
  
"Well, we only got a half-dozen of 'em. All we can spare, you know.   
But they'll stop anything that moves, at least in my experience."  
  
"Yeah, and I heard you can actually convert one of these things to find   
land mines?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess, though I doubt we'll be doing much of that out here.   
Hey, you wanna drink, kid?"  
  
Kensuke, who was still dazzled by the thought of seeing the hardware in   
action, didn't respond for a minute. By the time he became aware that   
Lewis had asked him a question, the American commander had taken a   
flask from his hip and had a quick sip.  
  
"Uh...sure, I guess..." Kensuke replied, slowly. He took the offered   
flask and tilted it back, slowly, until he felt the liquid hit his   
tongue. The second it did, he was sure his teeth started melting,   
since that was the _only_ thing that could taste like this. He   
coughed, managing to spit out most of it, but he still felt a fair   
amount burn its way down his throat, hitting his stomach with the force   
of a small thermonuclear device.  
  
A heavy hand clapped him on his back, as Lewis took his flask back.   
"_That_ wakes you up, don't it?" he asked. Kensuke didn't reply at   
first, as it seemed his vocal cords had been vaporized.  
  
"Keep that up, and I'll be needing to get you some of my hangover   
cure," Lewis joked, leering at the boy.  
  
Kensuke just coughed hoarsely, feeling his voice slowly come back,   
along with his sense of taste. Lewis just clapped him on the back   
again, laughing a bit.  
  
"Guess that explains why...(cough)..._you're_ not hung over, right?"  
  
"Bingo. You see, kid," Lewis began, shifting his position against the   
tank, "Waaaay back when, when I was still a private tryin' not to get   
his own ass shot off, me an' the boys'd go out drinking _every_   
weekend. But you know, you can't get a promotion if you're all shit-  
faced every Monday." He paused to take another sip from the flask.   
"So I figured I'd try makin' something that'll beat even the worst   
hangover the Army'll throw at you. Took me a few years, but I _did_   
it." The man let out a short laugh. "And _damn_ can it wake you up   
fast. I hear you can also use it to strip paint."  
  
Kensuke's eyes widened a bit. "Wh...what's in it, then?"  
  
Lewis waved a finger at him, like a parent telling a child 'no'.   
"That's a secret, son. You see, half my guys use it to wake up, too.   
And if told 'em what was in it, they prob'ly wouldn't use it anymore."  
  
"Ha...so then is that what that yell from Misato-san's was, this   
morning?"  
  
"Yep. Lady overdid it a little, last night," Lewis said, shaking his   
head. "Figured she could use some wake-up juice. Must've hit her   
pretty hard, though. She okay?" he asked, looking at the boy   
slantwise.  
  
"As good as can be expected, I guess. She's not hung over."  
  
"Enjoying ourselves?" came a feminine voice from in front of them.   
Both of them looked up to see Maya standing there, quirking an eyebrow   
at them.  
  
"Hey there, Ibuki," Lewis called out, getting up quickly. "What's up?"  
  
Maya let out a short sigh, resting one hand on her hip as gave them a   
disapproving look. "I've come to deliver a report on the progress of   
Unit-04's repairs, Major."  
  
"Please," the man said, spreading his arms wide. "If this kid can call   
me Lewis, then of course a young lady like yourself can."  
  
Maya blinked once, then turned up her nose at him indignantly. "As I   
was saying, Major," she continued, glancing down at the clipboard she   
was holding. "It's been ascertained that although the backup batteries   
are functional, the S2 organ of Unit-04 is completely destroyed, and   
will remain nonfunctional until a suitable repair facility can be   
located..."  
  
Kensuke listened to the young woman prattle on, even as she went on   
into the technical details he doubted even the pilots themselves would   
understand. It was news about the Evas, and that was enough for him.   
He couldn't say as much for the American commander, who took another   
shot from his flask and leaned against the side of the tank, not even   
appearing to pay attention. Yet it was still Kensuke who noticed the   
motion off to the side, about a dozen meters from where they were   
standing.  
  
His eyes focused on Shinji, walking slowly towards some unseen point in   
the distance. The boy's eyes were unfocused and unblinking. Stranger   
still, he was only wearing his pants, seemingly unaware of the rocky   
ground under his bare feet. His very walk seemed unnatural: step with   
one foot, pause briefly, step with the next, pause, and so on. It was   
almost like seeing a puppet on strings.  
  
"Morning, Ikari-kun!" he called out, unwittingly interrupting Maya, who   
gave him a narrow-eyed look of annoyance. He shrank away from the   
woman, redd1ening a little under that gaze. He'd received more than   
his fair share of _those_ from Hikari.  
  
^Geez, do _all_ women have a 'crush male confidence' expression?^ he   
wondered. ^Sure seems that way.^  
  
Shinji, for his part, did nothing. He merely continued on at his odd   
pace. Step-pause-step-pause-step...  
  
"Hey, Ikari?" Kensuke asked, taking a few steps towards the other boy.   
Still no response. Step-pause-step...  
  
Even as he watched, Shinji passed several other people, out doing their   
assigned duties. A few of them bid him good morning, a few of them   
gave him odd looks at his state of near-undress. He didn't notice   
them.  
  
"Weird," Kensuke mumbled to himself, watching.  
  
"Don't _he_ look screwed over," Lewis commented, arms crossed over his   
chest. He looked down at Kensuke, completely ignoring the burning look   
Maya was throwing him. ^Wish I knew how to do that,^ Kensuke thought   
idly.  
  
"He on something?" Lewis asked.  
  
Kensuke looked back to the boy. "What do you - "  
  
"You know. Crack? LSD? Maybe even sneakin' a little PCP, angel   
dust?"  
  
Kensuke stiffened, turning to face the American commander and trying   
not to look intimidated by the other man's height advantage. "He's   
_not_," he said, emphatically. "Shinji wouldn't do that to himself."  
  
"Wouldn't be surprised if he was," the man said, shrugging. "Hell,   
half my men are openly on some drug or another, and the other half   
are just hiding it better." He paused for a minute, looking   
unnaturally pensive. "Maybe _he_ needs a shot of that hangover   
cure..."  
  
Maya cleared her throat. "Umm...excuse me, Major?"  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, facing the young woman again. "Sorry. Go on, Ibuki.   
Say, once you're done, I'm headed out for a little patrol. You're   
welcome to tag along." He glanced down to Kensuke. "And you too,   
kid."  
  
"Really?" Kensuke asked, beaming.  
  
"Uh...I'll think about it, Major," Maya said, a little nervously.   
"Now..." she paused, flipping through her pages even though she'd known   
exactly where she was in the report. "Unit-04's synch ratio with its   
Dummy plug is predicted to fall well into the nominal range, as the   
linkages between the systems remain intact..."  
  
Kensuke turned away from Shinji, going back to listening about the Eva.   
It wasn't that he didn't care, it was just that he knew someone would   
catch up to him eventually, and this was a rare opportunity, getting to   
listen to technical details about Evangelions.  
  
***  
  
All accounted for, it took Ariel over half an hour to finally track   
down Shinji. It was amazing how quickly even someone as well-  
recognized as that boy could disappear in this camp. To compound   
matters, she'd had to be very discreet. Telling everyone straight-out   
that their leader had disappeared wouldn't be a good idea, if for no   
other reason than the story would find its way back to Asuka.  
  
^She assigns me one simple task, and I failed,^ Ariel thought, mentally   
kicking herself. ^All I had to do was _watch_.^  
  
So, she'd had to ask people if they'd seen Shinji wandering around.   
She'd been rewarded with tips pointing her in all different directions.   
Someone had seen him going off that way. Or no, it was the other way.   
Or no, towards the Eva. No, it wasn't that way, either. It had been a   
very frustrating thirty minutes. Finally, she'd given up and taken an   
educated guess at where Shinji might be headed. And so, she finally   
found him approaching the sea of LCL.   
  
There he was, in the distance, trudging his slow way to where the land   
ended. Ariel, having been running for most of the past half hour, let   
out a relieved sigh at he sight of him and bent over, catching her   
breath. But as she looked up, her eyes widened. Where Shinji was   
headed, the land ended _very_ abruptly, in the form of a cliff   
overhanging the sea.  
  
Her tired limbs started moving again, accelerating her up to a sprint   
as she closed the distance.  
  
"Ikari!" she called out to him, as she grabbed onto his arm, holding   
him in place.  
  
To her credit, she achieved what many others hadn't been able to: she   
got his attention. With speed she hadn't expected, he twisted,   
throwing her off with such strength that she went tumbling to the   
ground.  
  
Shinji halted his slow advance towards the precipice, turning in place   
to face her. Ariel for her part, struggled back to her feet, keeping a   
safe distance between them this time.  
  
"Where..." she paused to take a breath, trying to fill her strained   
lungs. "Where are you going, Ikari-kun?"  
  
Shinji stared at her for a long while before finally opening his mouth   
to speak. "I...cannot...I must...go to them. I..." - he paused,   
cutting off mid-sentence as though trying to find a word, but keeping   
his dead stare on her - "...must go back," he finished.  
  
"Well," she ventured, taking a cautious step towards him. "Why not   
come back with me, then. People will be waiting for you."  
  
Shinji continued staring blankly. "Not...back with them. Never...back   
with them. I...have to...go..." he began walking again, taking a step   
backwards, towards the edge of the cliff.  
  
Ariel chanced another step. "Where?" she asked, trying to prod an   
answer. "Where, Ikari-kun? Where are you going?"  
  
He half-turned to face the sea, making a loose gesture in its general   
direction. "I must...go...to them. They call...for me. Or else...the   
pain won't end. For...anyone." Another step.  
  
This time, Ariel held her ground. She just stared, not believing what   
she'd just heard. "You can't be serious," she said, quietly.  
  
"This is...the only way...to end it..." Step.  
  
"You can't..." she began, then shook her head. "So...is that what   
they're trying to do?" she asked, even as he took another step back.   
She met his eyes, or tried to. "They want to take you from us?"  
  
Step. "I must go..." Shinji continued, in a voice eerily devoid of all   
expression. "It's useless...to fight anymore." Step.  
  
"Ikari-kun! I think...I think I know what's going on. Are they inside   
you?"  
  
Step. "Must...go..."  
  
"Ikari-kun, stop it! You're believing a lie, they _want_ you to do   
this! I'll...I can help you! Just let me...let me..."  
  
^Into your very innermost mind,^ she finished. ^If only I could still   
break my way through a lilum's AT field.^ She felt a little guilty   
just for thinking that. Forcing mental contact was no better than   
rape. No, it was a million times worse. But, given the situation...  
  
Shinji turned his head to one side, then slowly back the other way,   
slowly shaking no. "Why...believe you? You...traitor." The last word   
came out with some emphasis. Step. "They told me...you betrayed them.   
Why trust someone like you? You'll...betray us, just like them. It's   
just...a matter of time..." Step.  
  
Again, Ariel paused, even as she saw Shinji was running out of ground.   
Those words had hit a chord in her. ^If I can abandon my own   
brethren...then could I betray the humans, too?^  
  
She shook her head violently, shoving that doubt to the back of her   
mind, though she was unable to dispel it. "That's only what _they_   
told you!" she shouted at him.  
  
Step.  
  
"You can't believe them, Ikari-kun!"  
  
Step.  
  
"You don't need to do this! You'd be no better than...than..."  
  
^Than me?^  
  
Step. Rocks tumbling into space as his feet reached the edge.  
  
"There is no other way..." he mumbled, before taking one more step, and   
letting gravity have him.  
  
Days afterwards, Ariel would still not be able to explain how she'd   
been able to move so fast. Perhaps she'd been moving towards Shinji   
already, and just hadn't known it, what with how her mind had been   
churning. Perhaps the raw adrenaline had been enough to boost her   
system. However she did it, she found herself suddenly at the edge,   
reaching out desperately to grab him.  
  
Contact. She clenched her fingers tightly, digging them into his flesh   
as her other arm grabbed at the dirt, bracing herself for the impact   
she knew was coming. Her shoulder was nearly jerked out of the socket   
as Shinji's fall abruptly halted. Ariel let out a strained cry at the   
sudden force.  
  
Through eyes nearly clenched shut with the effort, she looked down to   
him. She'd managed to grip his left wrist, holding him aloft over the   
sea. Looking a little further down, she almost let him go. Down   
there, it was just LCL. She'd been afraid there were rocks waiting at   
the bottom, but as it seemed, ther was nothing but the placid surface   
of the sea itself.  
  
Placid? Even as she watched, the surface churned, with the force of   
something other than the tide pushing at it. Waves rippled, moving and   
shifting until they resolved into the form of -   
  
A face.  
  
No, not a face. More like a skull, with nothing but a pair of eye   
holes and a gaping mouth. This mouth opened even wider, yawning open   
to finally consume the boy hanging over it, protected only by the   
strength of one girl's grip on him.  
  
Ariel could feel that grip weakening, as her hand protested the huge   
weight it was being forced to carry. Sweat, born of her exertion all   
the way up to this moment, was running down her arm, collecting in her   
palm, killing friction. But she willed her hand to tighten, willed   
herself to hang on, just for a minute longer...  
  
She pushed as hard as she could with her other arm on the ground,   
trying to pull him up. It would have been easy if she'd been able to   
get her legs under her, but she was on her stomach, unable to change   
positions without letting go of Shinji. And, she thought, as a low,   
inhuman moaning rose from the LCL below her, that was not an option.   
They were waiting for her to quit, to let go.  
  
She pulled, straining against the pull of gravity, but it was   
worthless. She was shaking, a cold feeling running through her as she   
began to admit to herself that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't be able   
to save him.  
  
^I'm sorry, Asuka.^  
  
Anger flooded her. Anger at her worthlessness, anger at her own   
betrayal, anger at the rest of her brethren for trying something as   
underhanded as this, anger at everything and everyone, just that it had   
turned out this way. Before she even knew what she was doing, she was   
shouting at Shinji, shouting anything she could think of, in a fury.  
  
"What are you trying to do!" she screamed. "You're quitting, you   
useless bastard? You're not worth my coming out here! You're not   
worth Asuka, or even that monster Zero! You'd throw them all away!"  
  
Shinji, who'd been looking disinterestedly down at the face in the LCL,   
now looked up to Ariel's tanned face, now beginning to glisten with   
unbidden tears going down her cheeks. Ariel clenched her hand on his   
wrist, using what had to be the last of her strength.  
  
"You haven't changed at all! You just want the easy way out, is it?!"  
  
Shinji's eyes regarded her, unseeing.   
  
Their palms were together now, slipping centimeter by centimeter. In a   
moment nothing but her fingers would be holding him, and a moment after   
that, nothing. Ariel's eyes hurt, from exertion and frustration. He   
was slipping away...  
  
"Damn you, Ikari! WAKE UP!"  
  
She felt something move under her fingers. Like a current, steady and   
rapid. Recognizing that feeling, she reached for it, through the   
physical connection of her hand to his. It was a mental exercise, no   
less taxing than the physical duress she was under already. But as she   
threw everything she had left into it, she felt his mind graze hers.   
She caught a glimpse of rampant disorder, in a place she knew was not   
her. But even as she touched it, the chaos of his mind began to   
reorder itself. Unable to hang on to the mental feeling any longer,   
she receded, snapping back to herself.  
  
Below her, Shinji blinked. He looked up at her again, his eyes   
regaining their focus. These same eyes widened as the boy realized   
there was nothing under him. He let out a brief cry, before clenching   
his hand onto hers, then grabbing onto her wrist with his other hand.  
  
"Ikari-kun?" she asked, almost disbelieving.  
  
Shinji let out another cry. "Wh-what's happening?"  
  
"I'll...I'll explain later," she said, pulling up again, with   
everything she had. Still not enough; even though he wasn't slipping   
anymore, the boy was just too heavy for her to lift one-armed. "I'll   
tell you...in a minute...but _you're_ the one...who's explaining to   
Asuka..."  
  
"Jesus, kid!"  
  
Ariel almost let go with surprise. That voice hadn't been Shinji's, or   
her own. Next to her, another body appeared, skidding to a halt and   
going down to its knees on the edge. Ariel recognized him quickly as   
Lewis.  
  
"What're you idiots doing?" he shouted at them. But even as he was   
doing this, he was also getting on his stomach, reaching down as far as   
he could with one arm. "C'mon..." he said. "C'mon, just gimme your   
hand...good boy." Shinji released Ariel's wrist and grabbed wildly,   
Lewis catching the hand in a crushing grip. The American commander   
turned to look over at Ariel. "Ready, girl?" He didn't wait for so   
much as a nod. "One, two...THREE!"  
  
They both pulled, leaning back and getting their legs under them. With   
the assistance of the muscular American, Shinji was suddenly much   
lighter. He was hoisted back over the edge in no time flat.  
  
Shinji was hyperventilating. "I...I...thank you, I - " he was cut off   
as Ariel slapped him, hard. The girl's face, screwed up with anger,   
suddenly turned to an expression of horror as it turned out that the   
force of the blow was such that he lost his balance, nearly careening   
back over the edge.   
  
Lewis' quick reflexes saved the boy this time. The American grabbed   
him by the collar, pulling him back to his feet with one hand as his   
other hand went to his hip.  
  
Ariel was already going. "You idiot!" she shouted at him. "Did you   
know what you were doing? You were going to throw it all away, just   
for - "  
  
A sharp metallic 'click' could be heard, accompanying the sound of a   
gun sliding out of its holster. Ariel soon found herself staring down   
the barrel of a .45 with the safety off. She wisely stopped talking.  
  
"Look, kiddies," Lewis said, slowly and evenly. "I saw that whole mess   
back there, and at the moment, I dunno which one of you to shoot. So   
why don't you _both_ just shut up. Ibuki?"  
  
Maya appeared behind him. "Uh...y-yes, Major?"  
  
"_You_ take this one," he said, shoving Shinji at her. The boy   
stumbled and only just caught himself before he could crash into the   
woman.  
  
"And _I'm_ escorting this one," he continued, gesturing with his gun at   
Ariel. "I personally got some questions to ask the two of them."  
  
When all three of them remained silent, frozen to the ground by a   
mixture of fear and shock, he threw a quick grin at Maya. "See, didn't   
I tell you patrols could be exciting?" With that, he took the lead,   
prodding Ariel towards the waiting Land Rover. Maya took the hint and   
started leading Shinji after them. Inside the truck, Kensuke watched   
with a shocked expression, frozen to his seat.  
  
***  
  
Shinji's head was pounding with a nasty headache. This was helped in   
no way by the pounding it was receiving from a certain irate redhead.  
  
"Baka, baka, baka, BAKA!!" Asuka shouted, punctuating each word with   
another knock on his skull. "What the _hell_ were you doing?"  
  
Shinji was doing his best to cover his sore head, but Asuka just kept   
knocking his hands out of the way. "I don't - " he tried.  
  
"Stop!" Asuka commanded, with another punch. "Don't you _dare_ try   
answering me!"  
  
"But you asked - "  
  
"I said _stop_!"  
  
It actually didn't take Asuka long to get tired of hitting him. She   
soon resorted to verbally chewing him out. Since half of what she said   
was in German, Shinji could only nod periodically, being sure never to   
make eye contact. Looking at those burning blue eyes would only   
antagonize the girl, who seemed convinced at least for the moment that   
he'd capitulated to her superior grasp of the situation.  
  
"Just think what would've happened if Ariel hadn't been there!" she was   
shouting now. "What then? Huh?" She shook her head, eyes held   
tightly shut. She turned her back to him, squaring her shoulders.  
  
"Just...you idiot," she said, more quietly. Shinji thought he heard a   
quaver in her voice.   
  
"What's it really worth to you, huh?" she asked. Now that quaver could   
have been an illusion. "What's all our...work, worth, if you're   
stepping off a cliff?" One hand came up to her face, wiping something   
away. With her back to him, he couldn't see what she was doing.   
Rubbing a smudge off her forehead, maybe.  
  
Shinji wanted to say something; he could almost feel the anticipation   
hanging, as the girl waited for him to try and explain himself. But   
the words were slow in coming. He couldn't understand what had   
happened himself; he didn't even remember it, in fact. What chance did   
he have of explaining it to another person?  
  
Now Asuka was looking over her shoulder, one narrowed eye staring back   
at him. Shinji's thoughts became even more scrambled with the addition   
of this extra pressure. He looked down at his knees, still searching   
in vain for what to say.  
  
As Asuka looked away from him again, he felt his chance slip by.   
"Idiot," she mumbled. "So _that's_ how it is, huh?" She started   
walking away. Shinji rose to his feet, watching her leave and still   
not knowing what to say, or even if it would make any difference, now.  
  
"Asuka, I - " he began.  
  
The girl whirled on him just as she reached the exit of the tent.   
"_You_ just stay there, Third Child!" she shouted at him, making people   
all around look up at the commotion. Shinji winced at the emphasis   
she'd placed on 'child'.  
  
"I'll lead you back home when everyone _else_ is through with you," she   
continued, half-turning away. "I sure can't leave you alone, anymore."  
  
Whole minutes after she'd left, Shinji was still just staring at the   
vacant air she'd just recently been occupying. He covered his face   
with his hands, trying to block out the world for just a minute as he   
leaned back, lying down on the bed.   
  
So _now_ what? Asuka hadn't called him 'Third Child' in years. He   
could still see her face, furious with him, but a little different   
around the eyes...sadness, betrayal, maybe. Even after all this time,   
he still couldn't tell what was going on in her head. Maybe Touji   
would understand women better...  
  
***  
  
Asuka really didn't have any destination in mind; she was too angry to   
think, really. Her mind was completely occupied with coming up for new   
curses to use on Shinji when she saw him next. Her feet still knew the   
way to go, however. Somehow, before she knew it, she was on the   
American side of the settlement. And approaching a certain girl she'd   
wanted to see the moment she was through with Shinji.  
  
"Hey," she said, getting Ariel's attention. The girl was sitting on   
the ground, leaning up against a pile of recently emptied shipping   
crates. She turned her head, looking dully at Asuka for a moment   
before recognition flickered in her eyes.  
  
"Hello," she said, quietly, before turning away again. She slowly   
brought up a flask in one hand, raising it to her lips for an instant   
before bringing it back down. Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment as   
she swallowed.  
  
"What's that?" Asuka asked, sitting down next to the girl.  
  
Ariel paused for a moment before answering, as though she were thinking   
something over. "Lewis gave it to me once he was through...questioning   
me. He said it looked like I needed it."  
  
"Typical male reasoning," Asuka said, smirking a little. "Not only do   
they know _everything_, they know you can fix anything with either   
bullets or booze."  
  
Ariel let out a brief snort, not really a laugh despite the sarcasm.   
She tried to take another sip, but Asuka's hand flashed out, snatching   
the flask out of her hand before it could reach her mouth.  
  
"Now _this_ is the last thing we need," she preached. She stared at   
Ariel, who'd gone back to staring blankly forwards. A moment passed,   
of relative silence.  
  
"I'm sorry," Ariel said.  
  
"Thank you," Asuka said, simultaneously.  
  
Another pause, this one a bit more tense. Both girls looked at each   
other, then looked away for a moment, before they both cracked a grin.  
  
"You first," Ariel said.  
  
"You heard me," Asuka shot back, batting the other girl's arm. "And   
don't you _dare_ apologize. Without you, my Shinji-chan'd be - "  
  
"You told me to watch over him, and I couldn't do - "  
  
"Stop." A simple command. Asuka waited until Ariel had quieted down.   
"First, don't interrupt me while I'm _thanking_ you. Second, don't   
apologize."  
  
"But I - "  
  
"Don't make me repeat myself."  
  
Ariel quieted down again, but this time Asuka thought she could see a   
hint of a smile on the girl's face. It could have just been her   
imagination, though.  
  
"So what happened with you?" Asuka asked, finally. "So they   
'questioned' you, huh?"  
  
"They wanted to know what I was doing on a cliff with the leader of the   
settlement," Ariel explained with a shrug. "They asked me all sorts of   
questions, and they only spoke English."  
  
Asuka grimaced. "Ugh. I could never get the hang of that language.   
To many contractions and too much slang." She paused. "But I'm still   
better at it than half the other people here," she finished, sticking   
her nose up a little.  
  
"I know. During the questioning, that man, the commander, left his gun   
on the table. He didn't say anything, or even touch it. But I was   
looking at it the whole time, and knew he was telling me I was lucky he   
didn't just shoot me then."  
  
"Little lady," Asuka said with a deep voice and her fists on her hips,   
mimicking Lewis. "Did he call you that?"  
  
Ariel thought about it, then nodded. "Once, I believe."  
  
Asuka shook her head. "That guy gets on my nerves, you know?"  
  
Footsteps crunched up towards them. Ariel looked up long enough to see   
who it was, then nodded at Asuka. "I know the feeling," she said. "I   
know it _all_too_ well," she finished, as the other person made it up   
to them.  
  
"Hello there, Ariel-san," Kaoru said cheerfully, smiling down at her.   
"Good to see you're doing well."  
  
Ariel shot him an annoyed look, before resting her head on one hand,   
convieniently blocking out all view of the boy.  
  
"I heard what happened earlier," he said, continuing. "It was a very   
interesting story."  
  
Ariel let out a quiet sigh, before pushing herself to her feet.   
"Goodbye," she stated bluntly, starting off. Asuka was by her side an   
instant later.  
  
"Please, Ariel-san," Kaoru continued, trailing behind them. "I'd just   
like to tell you something."  
  
"You don't _need_ to," Ariel said, speeding up. "I know what it is."  
  
"Really?"  
  
She stopped so short that Asuka overshot by a good three steps before   
turning around. Ariel looked over her shoulder, giving him the same   
annoyed expression. "What?" she asked, her voice venemous.  
  
Kaoru took a breath. "Thank you."  
  
Ariel blinked. Her annoyed look vanished in an instant, replaced by   
one of cautious inquisitiveness, as she turned to face him.  
  
Kaoru nodded at her, extending a hand. "Thank you for helping Shinji-  
kun this morning, Ariel-san. I'm glad you were there for him."  
  
Ariel blinked again. She became dimly aware of Asuka nudging her,   
prodding her to go ahead. With another brief sigh, she reached out and   
took Kaoru's hand, only intending for the briefest of a handshake. But   
Kaoru's fingers closed tightly on her hand, holding her in place.  
  
"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk to you about it later," he   
said, giving her a polite smile, much in opposition to his tight grip   
on her. He leaned in closer. "So you can tell me _exactly_ what it is   
that happened," he whispered to her ear. He pulled back, giving her   
another smile that, though still friendly, still gave Ariel a feeling   
of apprehension. Only then did he release her hand.  
  
"Until then," he said, waving as he walked off.  
  
"Well..." Asuka said, almost before he was out of earshot. "What do   
you think of that?"  
  
Ariel said nothing, just stared at her palm, flexing her fingers.  
  
"Interesting," Asuka commented, watching this. "So, are you going to   
take him up on it?"  
  
"Eh?" Ariel asked, just now noticing that Asuka was talking.  
  
"The guy just asked you out," the other girl said, tilting her head in   
Kaoru's direction. "What're you going to say?"  
  
Ariel broke eye contact. "I don't know," she replied, her voice almost   
bitter.  
  
"Dunno about that kid," Asuka continued, watching Kaoru's receding   
form. "He's a little...weird. Living with _Ayanami_, of all people.   
If he were anyone else, I'd have a big fat 'PERVERT' branded right on   
him," she said, spreading her hands as though marking out the size of   
the mark. "But...I don't know."  
  
"And neither do I, Asuka. I'll...think about it."  
  
Some distance off, someone else watched the girls leave. He stayed   
there until they turned around the corner of a shelter and were out of   
sight. But he also watched Kaoru walking away, the boy as carefree as   
ever. He'd seen the boy earlier today, talking to Ariel in front of   
the medical tent. It'd been difficult to tell just what had passed   
between those. Perhaps a fight, or perhaps they were both just nervous   
around each other. Now that his mind had had most of the day to work   
the situation over and distort the facts, he was convinced that it had   
looked like Kaoru had been holding her hand in front of the medical   
tent, if only briefly.  
  
A low sigh of defeat could be heard.  
  
Light reflected off the observer's glasses as he walked off for another   
part of the camp. He needed to think.  
  
***  
  
Unit-04 had become a swarm of activity. The downed giant was still   
lying where it had been dropped by American helicopters days earlier,   
but a small camp had sprung up around it. Tents had been put up almost   
as soon as the Eva had been dropped, with generators and electronic   
equipment being brought in as necessary. Now, some more permanent   
structures of wood and concrete were being raised, giving the workers a   
more hospitable work environment.  
  
The Eva itself was still a mess, the hole through its torso still   
gaping wide. But now wires of all sizes were streaming out of it.   
They lay everywhere, forming a treacherous network of spaghetti on the   
ground. But they were necessary; on the other end of the wires were   
computers and generators, all being used to try and restore some   
modicum of functionality to the Eva.  
  
Kaoru liked coming here. It was fun for him to watch the people   
bustling around the white armored titan, trying to repair the very   
thing which, not too long ago, had been their enemy. Currently, he was   
standing on a catwalk which had been set up over the chest.   
  
A slight vibration on the platform signaled the arrival of another   
person. Glancing to the side without turning his head, Kaoru saw Rei   
coming up to him.  
  
"Good morning," he said, looking back to the Eva underneath them.   
"Coming to see this with me?"  
  
Rei said nothing, simply stopped about a meter off to his left and   
rested her arms on the railing, looking off into space without really   
focusing on anything.  
  
"What did you make of Shinji-kun's episode earlier?" Rei asked,   
quietly, after a few minutes of silence.  
  
Kaoru hesitated a bit, glancing at her again at the word 'Shinji-kun'.   
Finally, he answered. "I suspect simple fatigue," he said, sounding   
more sure of his answer than he was. "I was rather intrigued that Ni-  
san was with him."  
  
Rei's only reply was in the form of a nod. Again, the two fell silent,   
one feeling that there was nothing to be said, the other trying to   
decide what to say next.  
  
^I will have to conduct further investigations of Unit-00 later,^ Kaoru   
reasoned. ^There is no need to burden Rei with any ungrounded   
concerns.^   
  
He'd had a look at Unit-00 earlier that day, synching with it briefly   
to see if there were any problems. He couldn't stop thinking about   
that strange feeling he'd gotten last night, just before he'd managed   
to wake up Rei and escort her back to her shelter. He did not like   
jumping to conclusions, but he couldn't resist wondering whether or not   
that odd feeling and Shinji's behavior today were related.  
  
But again, these were not concerns he wanted Rei to have.  
  
Finally, Kaoru found the right words. "And did it bother you?"  
  
Rei shook her head no. "I see no reason to be concerned."  
  
"Considering how late he was likely awake last night, it is the only   
explanation I have," Kaoru agreed, nodding for emphasis. "But..." he   
began, only now turning his head to look over at her. "How have you   
been feeling?"  
  
Rei did nothing, at first. It was almost as though she'd forgotten   
Kaoru existed. But after a long moment, she closed her eyes, holding   
them shut for a few seconds, in a sort of prolonged blink.  
  
"Last night..." she started, "...I nearly said...the wrong thing." Her   
voice was calm, but Kaoru could tell something was wrong from the way   
she hesitated.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked.  
  
"Shinji-kun asked me what I wanted," she replied, standing up a bit   
straighter and leaning forwards on her palms. "I told him that I   
wished to know what it was I felt."  
  
Kaoru's mouth quirked, in a quickly repressed smile. "Really?" he   
asked, turning to look back at the Eva. "And how is that 'the wrong   
thing'?"  
  
Another pause, this one shorter than before. "Because what I feel may   
have changed," she said, her tone still calm, but quieter. "This   
morning, when I awoke, I felt...much as I did before."  
  
"Before?"  
  
"Before Third Impact," Rei answered. "There may be lingering   
sentiments...but they feel as though they are hidden, now. Even from   
me."  
  
Now Kaoru's mouth quirked in the other direction. "That is   
disconcerting."  
  
"I see no reason to be concerned," Rei stated, repeating the same   
phrase from before.  
  
"Why so?"  
  
"Whatever may happen to me, it is likely inevitable," Rei answered.   
She then went quiet, seemingly satisifed that that was a sufficient   
answer.  
  
Kaoru closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head slightly. But he   
said nothing.  
  
"I must go," he said, stepping away from the railing. "I have...other   
things to attend to, Rei."  
  
Rei only nodded at this, and even then only slightly. Kaoru's gaze   
lingered on her for a moment before he turned and headed for the end of   
the catwalk.  
  
He was in the process of trying to figure out what 'other things' he   
had to worry about when he remembered Shinji's plight. Since Asuka had   
not been with the boy earlier, Kaoru assumed she was done with him, at   
least for the moment. He elected to see how Shinji had fared against   
what must have been a lover's spat of epic proportions.  
  
The best place to start would be the shelter Shinji and Asuka shared.   
He immediately set off in that direction.  
  
It didn't take him long to reach the shelter, but he found it empty.   
Kaoru tried his next best guess: the medical tent. As it turned out,   
this time he was right.  
  
He found Shinji inside the tent, sitting almost motionless on the bed.   
The boy's hair was a mess, and his clothes appeared to have just   
recently been pulled on. But the worst part was the look on his face:   
he looked utterly dejected, having given up on doing anything else for   
the rest of the day.  
  
However, Kaoru was still able to get Shinji's attention, beckoning that   
he come outside. Shinji seemed hesitant at first, but finally rose and   
joined his friend.  
  
"What is it, Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked. The shattered quality of his   
voice almost exactly matched the expression on his face. But there was   
also a note of relief, of seeing at least one friendly face today.  
  
"Nothing much," Kaoru answered, putting his hands into his pockets.   
"You simply appeared bored, that is all."  
  
Shinji managed a tiny shrug. "Well, I'm just waiting," he said,   
dejectedly. "Waiting for someone. She said she'd come back here,   
and...well, I need to talk to her."  
  
"Who?"  
  
Shinji paused before answering. "Asuka. She left a while ago, and she   
told me to stay here. Said she can't trust me by myself, anymore."  
  
"Well...I believe she was just overreacting, Shinji-kun. Soryu just   
needs time to cool off. How are you feeling, by the way?"  
  
"All right, I guess," Shinji replied, rubbing the back of his head.   
"But I don't want to take my chances. I think I'd be better off   
staying here, you know."  
  
Kaoru cocked an eyebrow at his friend. "She will not be returning for   
some time, Shinji-kun. I saw her talking with her friend Ariel just a   
moment ago."  
  
"Yeah," Shinji said, absentmindedly. "That's someone else I need to   
talk to. I can't believe what...you know, she did for me. Like Asuka   
said, I can't thank Ni-san enough."  
  
"Yes, but as I said, they are occupied," Kaoru answered quickly, trying   
to brush this line of conversation aside. He started taking a few   
steps away, watching to see what Shinji would do. "But why are you   
looking for Soryu now if you had the opportunity to speak with her   
earlier?"  
  
"...I'm just...nervous, that's all," he explained. "Couldn't find the   
guts to tell her this morning, I guess." Shinji remained in place for   
a moment, and then his feet began to move, following Kaoru apparently   
of their own accord. Kaoru nodded slightly, at this.  
  
"Tell her what?" he asked, trying to keep Shinji talking.  
  
"Nothing," Shinji answered, a little too quickly. He shook his head.   
"It's not your problem, Kaoru-kun."  
  
Kaoru thought it over, finally nodding silently. He kept walking as he   
sorted things out in his head, knowing that if he stopped then he might   
never get Shinji to start walking again. But if he couldn't come up   
with an answer soon, he'd get the same result.  
  
"It's about Rei, isn't it?" he asked the other boy.  
  
Shinji made it one more step before he stopped dead. Kaoru's eyes   
narrowed at the shocked look he was receiving. ^I guessed correctly,^   
he thought to himself. Never mind that Shinji had stopped walking; he   
got the feeling this was more important than getting his friend some   
fresh air.  
  
"Uh...well, that is..." Shinji stammered.  
  
Kaoru put on a slight smile and gave a nod. "Come, Shinji-kun," he   
said, tilting his head to one side. "If I know that much, could you   
tell me the rest?"  
  
Shinji averted his eyes, his mouth going tight. Just as the boy was   
beginning to shake his head, Kaoru pulled out his other trick.  
  
"_I_ could talk to Soryu for you," he offered. "Of course, I would   
have to guess at most of it. But still..." he finished, beginning to   
turn away.  
  
"No, wait a minute, Kaoru-kun," Shinji blurted out, jogging over to   
Kaoru and putting one hand on the boy's shoulder. Kaoru smiled   
inwardly, hearing the tiny note of panic in his friend's voice. ^He is   
so easy to tease that I cannot resist sometimes. I see why Misato-san   
does the same.^  
  
"Here, I can tell you," he said, leading Kaoru further off. "I guess   
it'll help to clear out my head. I just...I don't know what to say to   
Asuka," he said, shaking his head helplessly, as he walked. "I don't   
know where to start, or how to put it."  
  
"Then just say what happened."  
  
"That wouldn't work," Shinji replied, immediately. "Asuka would...I   
don't know...get the wrong idea. She'd take it out on me. Or worse,   
on Rei."  
  
Kaoru quirked an eyebrow, turning his head to study Shinji's face as he   
walked alongside the boy. It proved to be a pointless effort; Shinji's   
brow was furrowed, and his lips were tight. The boy was nervous, but   
Kaoru had been able to guess at that much five minutes ago.  
  
"I went to go talk to Rei last night," he finally began, once they were   
clear of the activity surrounding the Eva. "It looked like she'd been   
having a rough night," he explained. "With people calling her   
'Ayanami-sama,' and not leaving her alone. I decided I should see how   
she was doing.  
  
"And that's just what I did," he continued, after a short pause.   
Shinji held up his hands, not knowing what else to say. "But somehow   
the conversation got around to something else. I ended up asking her   
what it was she wanted, and..." he shook his head, closing his eyes as   
though trying to block out the world and all the madness it threw at   
him.  
  
"And what?" Kaoru asked, deciding to try pressing the issue.  
  
Shinji shook his head. "I ran away," he said, a bitter note entering   
his voice. He put on a sad smile. "I was just trying to help her,   
and...I ran away. Again."  
  
Kaoru just "hm"'ed a response to this. But Shinji continued, anyway.  
  
"It's just...I don't know. Maybe it was the beer. Those Americans   
know how to get drunk, don't they?" Shinji asked, giving Kaoru a   
nervous smile. The gray-haired boy kept his expression deadpan,   
silently urging Shinji to continue with what he'd been saying.  
  
"Well..." Shinji tried to say. "The way she...I mean, how she..." he   
shook his head. "See what I mean?" he said, glancing at Kaoru. "I   
just don't know how to put it."  
  
"Really?" Kaoru asked, as they continued walking. Now they were even   
leaving the settlement behind, wandering off towards the sea of LCL.  
  
Shinji turned his head away from Kaoru, looking at a spot on the ground   
a few meters in front of him. "Give me a minute to think about it," he   
muttered.  
  
"Of course, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said, amicably. "But at least allow me   
to keep walking with you."  
  
Shinji said nothing, merely continued on, lost in his thoughts. As it   
turned out, he needed much longer than 'a minute' to sort things out.   
He just kept walking, seemingly hypnotized by the synchronized rhythm   
of their footsteps.  
  
Shinji halted as he noticed sand under his feet. His eyes regaining   
their focus, he looked around, seeing the familiar orange sea   
stretching out in front of him.  
  
Kaoru laughed a little, seeing Shinji's surprise that they'd come out   
so far. "We've had our exercise, at least," he said, plopping down on   
the sand. Shinji followed suit a moment later.  
  
"Have you found the right words yet?" Kaoru asked quietly, after a   
quiet moment. Shinji could only shake his head, pulling his knees up   
to his chest.  
  
"Thanks for listening to me, at least, Kaoru-kun," Shinji said,   
apologetically. "I know you probably have things you'd rather be   
doing."  
  
"Perhaps. But I know you would do the same for me, Shinji-kun."  
  
Shinji nodded. "It's just...I don't know what I'm going to say to   
Asuka. I can't avoid her. She doesn't deserve that. But...if she   
were here right now, I don't know what I'd say to her."  
  
Kaoru looked out at the sea, organizing his thoughts. Finally, he got   
to his feet and turned to go. But before he started off, he asked one,   
simple question:  
  
"And if Rei were here right now, what would you say to her?"  
  
Kaoru saw Shinji blink in response to that, and saw the boy's breathing   
pause for a moment. Nodding to himself, Kaoru started walking away.   
^Now to go ask Rei just what _did_ happen.^  
  
But Shinji didn't move. He just sat there, on the beach, watching as   
the sun slowly came down towards the horizon.  
  
Though he may have appeared calm on the outside, inside his thoughts   
were a mess. Much as he tried to explain it away, one thing remained:   
the image of how Rei had looked last night. And as much as he tried,   
he couldn't forget that he'd thought she was beautiful.  
  
That one, random thought stuck in his head, spawning a host of other   
things to consume his consciousness: ^What does that mean?^ ^Was I   
just tired?^ ^Am I allowed to think that?^ ^But I'm with Asuka, I   
shouldn't even _look_ at other girls like that...^  
  
Given, he was able to see other people as attractive. Misato _did_   
have a certain allure, even though she was a decade older than him.   
Hikari was cute; he could definitely see what Touji saw in her. But   
these were just platonic observations...like looking at art, or   
something. It meant nothing. Mostly. So if he thought Rei was   
beautiful, what of it?  
  
So then...why did he feel so guilty over it?  
  
He tried to picture Asuka's face in his mind. It didn't take long.   
The girl had many expressions, of anger, taunting, haughty, and - when   
she thought he wasn't looking - compassion. That last was the rarest,   
of course, but at the same time the most precious. He'd known from the   
day he'd seen her that she was very attractive, and he was constantly   
reminded of this by her immense popularity. He nodded to himself,   
silently consenting that she, too, was beautiful. The realization   
didn't slap him in the face, like it had last night; he just naturally   
concluded that. He'd been with her long enough to know.  
  
Unbidden, a memory of Rei's face came to mind, from the night before.   
He didn't feel the sudden shock of realization this time, of suddenly   
having the ground taken out from under him as he saw something he   
hadn't seen before. But it still lingered in his mind; as sudden as   
that thought last night had been, he couldn't find a way to convince   
himself it was false.  
  
Of course, he also couldn't help thinking that she supposedly looked   
like his mother had. He only had a few memories of his mother, all   
hazy either from age or from getting blocked out to save him from pain.   
There were no pictures, he knew that much. But still, he couldn't help   
feeling like Rei's face was familiar to him. So then what did that   
mean? Was he allowed to think someone with his mother's face was   
attractive?   
  
He'd concluded, long before Rei had come back, that he wasn't going to   
think of the girl as his mother reincarnated; that wasn't fair to   
either Rei or his mother. But, seeing her last night...it was   
disturbing. Was something wrong with him?  
  
He let out a breath, shuddering a little. He didn't want to have to   
think these thoughts. He should just be happy with the way things   
were. Besides, Rei was not really someone who'd be able to appreciate   
being called beautiful; she didn't care what people thought of her.  
  
^Stop being afraid of me.^  
  
The blue-haired girl's voice rang in his mind as another memory   
surfaced. Yes, she'd said that. So then..._did_ she care what he   
thought of her? Maybe. She'd also told him he could use her first   
name; so did she think he was a friend? Again, maybe. Or perhaps that   
was just how Rei was.  
  
He shook his head, trying to physically throw out all these confusing   
thoughts. But they wouldn't leave him alone. Resting his chin on his   
knees, he stared out over the sea of LCL, watching as the burning ball   
of the sun slowly made its way down to the horizon. How long had he   
been here, anyway? When he'd left the site of Unit-04, it couldn't   
have been much past noon. It had to be getting late in the year, if   
the sun was setting this soon.  
  
His stomach unceremoniously began to growl, but he ignored it. He felt   
some unnamed desire keeping him here. A little hunger was worth it, if   
he could just sit here for a while longer.  
  
It had been a while since he'd taken the time to watch a sunset. He'd   
usually been too busy or too tired to bother. But now, he figured he   
could waste the time. Slowly, the sky shifted from blue to a mix of   
orange and red, and slowly, the sun began to sink beneath the waves of   
LCL.  
  
He stayed there a while longer, watching the sky darken. It wasn't   
long before the moon became visible in the sky, throwing its pale light   
down where the sunlight had been what felt like moments earlier.   
Shinji let out a small sigh of frustration, seeing this.  
  
"Hey, Shin-man," came a voice from behind him. Shinji jumped at the   
noise, turning quickly to see Kensuke striding up to him.  
  
"Uh...hi..." he said, cautiously.  
  
"What're you doin' way out here? I've been lookin' for you."  
  
"Nothing...it's just..."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Kensuke continued, almost as though Shinji hadn't spoken.   
He grabbed the other boy's arm, dragging him to his feet. "Well,   
c'mon, let's get back. Have you eaten yet?" As though in response to   
this, Shinji's stomach growled again.  
  
Shinji let himself be led along, but at the same time tried to continue   
his thought. "It's just...I can't tell."  
  
"Can't tell what?" Kensuke asked, as he half led, half dragged Shinji   
back towards the camp.  
  
"I can't tell...which I like more. The sunset, or the moonrise."  
  
Kensuke paused long enough to give Shinji a confused look. "Whatever,   
man," he said, not understanding. "But hey, do you have a minute?"  
  
"...sure. What is it?"  
  
"Well," the boy tried to begin, but cut off. "Well..." he tried again.   
"Suppose there were a girl you thought you liked..."  
  
"Yes?" Shinji asked, unable to keep from getting a little nervous.  
  
"...but it looked like some other guy might be interested, too."   
Pause. "And this guy looks more...you know, her type. And cooler than   
you are. It's just...well, what would _you_ do, Shinji?"  
  
"Well...that's kind of...hard to answer right here. Can I think about   
it?"  
  
"Sure. But I mean, this guy is _way_ cooler. She...well, say the girl   
looked like she liked combat machines - "  
  
"Then she'd be right up your alley, right?"  
  
Kensuke shrugged helplessly. "You'd think. But this guy, he...he   
doesn't just _watch_ machines. He actually _pilots_ them. So, you   
see..."  
  
Shinji was actually happy to hear his friend out; as long as he was   
dealing with someone else's problems, he didn't have to face his own.   
But it was about then that fate stepped in.   
  
It started with a vague sensation in the small of his back. He had   
experienced it a number of times before, but until recently he had paid   
it little mind. Now, it felt just as it did before, but with a bit   
of...bite. Like the tiniest bit of ice placed under his skin: not   
painful, but not fading, either. Shinji tried to scratch that spot as   
Kensuke continued on, but the scratching had no effect, until something   
as cold as death burst from the tiny spot, overwhelming his nerves and   
freezing his body.  
  
He doubled over as his body convulsed painfully. His vision flared,   
and breath came short, as he got a sensation, that something had tried   
to touch him...  
  
"Hey. Hey! Are you alright?"  
  
Shinji found he was on the ground, looking at a worried Kensuke.  
  
"Ikari! Don't you scare me like that. One moment you were scratching   
your back, the next you're fainting! _Again!_  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: January 1, 2002  
Version 1 Ended: February 12, 2002  
Version 2 Ended: March 1, 2002  
Version 3 Ended: May 20, 2002  
Version 4 Ended: May 21, 2002  
Version 5 Ended: June 19, 2002  
  
Thanks go to Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and Judging Eagle for   
prereading, as always. Extra thanks go to Avatar of Dragonia for his   
suggestion scenes for this chapter, and to Heavyarms Kai, who   
shouldered most of the prereading burden this time around.  
  
Web site address: http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/shinjirei/index.html   
AND http://www.geocities.com/otakusadist/index.html. Sorry about all   
the relocations, it's just I can't seem to please whomever keeps   
deleting my sites.  
  
I should also mention that the Tako Balls, i.e. the awards given to Eva   
fics,are being held again. Go to http://www.darkscribes.org/takoballs   
to see what's up. Also, please vote for me. ^_^  
  
e-mail address: otakusadist@hotmail.com 


	17. Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 13: Broken Chains  
  
Shinji swallowed as he saw the situation unfold before his eyes.   
  
Before him lay the unmistakeable form of a petrified, headless MP Eva   
standing in the sea of LCL, crucified to nothing but a Lance of   
Longinus impaled through its core. It seemed at peace, its duty done,   
its usefulness expired. Everytime he looked at one he'd hoped it was   
indeed dead, and not feigning eternal sleep while _something_ -  
inside it? somewhere else? - was watching. Waiting. _Learning_.   
  
He'd lost count of the times he had hoped it _was_ dead. But his hopes   
were not to be.   
  
The first sign of that was subtle. As he watched, the Lance that   
pierced the MP Eva's core began to...evaporate. The grip, the shaft,   
and the tines began to shorten, thin, melt away, until the whole weapon  
disintegrated, the only trace of its ever having existed being the twin   
punctures in the dead grey core.   
  
Shinji blinked.   
  
The core was _red_, now, and there were no holes in it. The red was the   
red of blood, and shone fiercely, shouting life in spite of its dead   
body. With each passing moment, it seemed more like an eye than a   
sphere, staring at him with a gaze that gripped his throat and squeezed  
the breath out of him in claustrophobic terror.   
  
In less than a minute, the stone that enshrouded it began to crack,   
fissures and fractures winding their way through the MP eva's entirety.  
Bits of the rocky shell - or was it _skin_? - fell off at the edges of   
those cracks, breaking away and falling to the sea of LCL like some   
strange stone rain. Soon, a new skin of white emerged from the now-gone  
rock, flawless and perfect from its newly regenerated chestplates to   
its long and lanky hands.   
  
Its fingers twitched, then shook, then clenched into fists as the Eva's   
arms wrenched forward, breaking free from whatever it had been   
crucified to. It bent forward, still headless, its hands clenched in   
agony as two new wings grew from its back, that were black from the   
front and white from the back.   
  
The stump of its neck bulged, grew, and finally burst asunder as a new   
head sprouted where there was none before. Still covered in the gore of   
rebirth, the red lips pulled back to expose the grinning teeth and   
dead-grey tongue licking and gathering the red that ran into the mouth,   
already savouring the taste of blood and craving more. It opened its   
maw, releasing a roar of terror as its wings spread to reveal the red-  
lined eyes beneath its wings -   
  
- and the TV screen broke into static.   
  
"So, where'd you get this tape?" Misato asked, gesturing  
to the VCR. Her tone was even, but her expression was just a little   
accusatory.  
  
"I took the liberty of setting up some observation outposts around   
these suckers," Lewis explained, from just beside the TV. "And   
_that_," he continued, pausing the tape, "was a video one of those   
outposts took yesterday." He turned to face the rest of them, pausing   
to let it sink in.  
  
"And when were you going to tell us you set up lookouts?" Asuka   
demanded. "Anything _else_ you feel like telling us?"  
  
"Wasn't like I was droppin' nukes on your heads," he countered. "I   
usually tell people before I do _that_. And anyway, girl, don't act   
like you're all innocent, either."  
  
The last part hit home. When Shinji had come back to the camp, looking   
very worried about something, Asuka had been the one to convince him   
they should wait until morning to go running to the Americans. It   
could very well have been nothing. At least, that was what she'd told   
Shinji. She hadn't told him about the chill that had overtaken her   
earlier, which had left her feeling helpless and afraid. That she   
hadn't even known what she should be afraid _of_ had only unsettled her   
further. She'd needed the night to think things over. Except it   
hadn't helped; sleep had refused to come.  
  
They'd ended up coming out to Lewis first, if for no other reason than   
he'd been awake, as well. They'd walked in on him watching this very   
tape. He hadn't said anything, just let them watch with him. In the   
morning, though, he'd taken the liberty of calling everyone else in to   
see.  
  
"There's more," Lewis continued, turning back to the TV. "As though   
that weren't enough..." he muttered to himself. He fast-forwarded the   
tape they were watching, until the view changed.  
  
They were looking at a different location now, but still similar to the   
first. The screen was also washed over with the green tint of night   
vision. It was still close to the coastline, as evidenced by the tide   
of LCL on the side of the screen, visible even through the static.   
Only here, there was no Eva. Or much of anything else. There was   
nothing but a crater, blasted down into a rounded bowl whose surface   
had been fused into a sheet of glass.  
  
"Last night, one of the observation posts failed to report in," Lewis   
explained. "Wasn't responding on any radio channels. So I sent a   
chopper out to see what was going on. _This_," he said, thumbing to   
the picture, "is what it found." His voice, for once, was not   
skeptical; rather, it spoke more of fatigue than disbelief, as if   
convincing himself of the truth, and subsequently realizing just how   
extreme the situation was, had taken something vital out of him.  
  
Asuka looked at the screen, her mind reluctant to believe her eyes.   
Misato simply turned away at the sight of the destruction and the   
the calamities she feared were returning to Japan. Kaoru, Rei, and   
Ritsuko remained impassive. Shinji just stared, his eyes empty.  
  
Lewis continued. "Not much in the picture to give you a sense of  
scale," he commented, his tone almost apologetic. "But our guys   
estimate that crater's almost fifty meters across. Not only that, but   
_deep_. Burned straight down to the bedrock, and then some." He   
looked at them, his eyes asking for an explanation. "I didn't know   
there even _was_ a weapon that could do that, short of a nuke."  
  
"N2 mine," Ritsuko ventured.  
  
"That too," Lewis said, throwing her a cursory glance. "But the   
shockwave from one of those things would've blasted everything for   
miles...'scuze me, _klicks_ around. This was localized damage.   
Extreme, and very focused," he finished, pointing to the screen,   
referring them back to the only evidence he had. The evidence   
that had been able to convince him.  
  
"And was there an Eva at the site?" Misato asked, turning her head back   
to meet the Major's eyes.  
  
"_Was_, yes," Lewis replied, shaking his head. "But by the time we got   
our chopper out there, it was gone. Could one of those things have   
done this?"  
  
"Yes," answered most of the group.  
  
Lewis just nodded at them, then took a cigarette out of his pocket.   
"So now what?" he asked, shoving the cigarette between his lips and   
managing to look not unlike a mobster.  
  
Blank stares and shut mouths were the only response.   
  
"Oh, c'mon." he said with exasperation. "_You're_ the ones who know   
what the hell's going on out there."  
  
His performance was answered with another large round of indifference.   
Lewis chewed absentmindedly on the cigarette, apparenly having   
forgotten what else to do with it.  
  
"Um..."   
  
All eyes promptly shot to Misato.   
  
"...Maybe it self-destructed?" she nervously ventured. Silence. "It   
could happen, you know."  
  
"The blast radius is much too small for an Eva that had gone   
critical," Ritsuko countered. "Especially one powered by an S2 engine.   
We would have felt the tremor even out here."  
  
"_But_," Asuka cut in, "these things don't blow up, really. Right,   
doctor?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at Ritsuko. "We just get   
light and heat, like you said." She snorted out a small laugh. "The   
first one went just like that," she finished, gesturing in the general   
direction of the TV.  
  
"The crater the first one made was smaller than this, Soryu," Ritsuko   
answered, giving the girl a glance that was not quite neutral.  
  
"So maybe it felt like making a bigger bang," Asuka countered,   
shrugging.  
  
Silence again. Then:  
  
"It is not destroyed."  
  
All gazes turned towards Rei.  
  
"The Eva has not self-destructed," she reiterated. "It is active."  
  
Pause, then a slight sigh from Kaoru. "I am afraid I must agree with   
Rei," he said.   
  
"What makes you so sure?" Asuka asked, narrowing her eyes at the   
children.  
  
Rei just met the other girl's eyes, staring quietly until Asuka looked   
away.   
  
"Some measure of sensitivity comes from being connected to an Eva,"   
Kaoru explained, even though Asuka no longer appeared interested in   
hearing an explanation.   
  
"So they both woke up at once, then," Asuka announced, as though she   
were the only one in the room to have reached that conclusion.  
  
"They woke up at once," Shinji said, quietly. All the heads swiveled   
to look at him. But he didn't twitch; his eyes were still out of   
focus, looking at nothing.  
  
"Well, that's what I - " Asuka began, rolling her eyes.  
  
"And they're coming at once," Shinji continued, in the same empty   
voice.  
  
"Uh...Shinji?" Misato asked, tilting her head to one side to get a   
better look at him.  
  
"They've learned," the boy continued. "And they're still learning."  
  
"Shinji, are you feeling all right?" Misato asked, getting up. She had   
just started towards him when Shinji blinked, his eyes focusing again.  
  
"Sorry," he said, immediately. "I just..." he said, shaking his head,   
"...just didn't get enough sleep."  
  
Misato kept a concerned look on her face. "Well, you were zoning out   
on us, Shinji. Are you all right?"  
  
"Yes. Yes..." he repeated, nodding. "Just needed to wake up, that's   
all."  
  
"Baka," Asuka said, loudly. "Should've thought about that before   
coming here. We need you _awake_, got it?"  
  
As this exchange unfolded, Rei and Kaoru, sitting next to each other as   
usual, looked at each other. They said nothing, their expressions   
asking the same wordless question of each other. Kaoru finally   
narrowed his eyes a little, shaking his head. Rei's acknowledgement of   
this was to turn her head back to Shinji, who was now enduring the   
latest hits on the head from Asuka. The German girl had, apparently,   
decided to make _sure_ he was awake.  
  
"So it's two, then," Misato commented loudly, managing to get Asuka's   
attention. She waited until the girl had sat down again before   
continuing. "Or in any case, we need to plan for that possibility."  
  
"Ain't life grand," Lewis muttered to himself. "Well...if nothing   
else, _I'm_ going to reinforce the defense around this camp, starting   
today. I'll pull out all the stops."  
  
Kaoru, listening to this confident attitude, slowly shook his head,   
though he kept his peace.  
  
"Great to know," Asuka replied, one corner of her mouth quirking first   
up, then down. "...that you don't listen at all." She leaned   
forwards, resting her elbows on her knees. "This is _our_ business.   
Saber-rattling isn't going to impress these things any more than it   
does me."  
  
"She does have a point, Major," Kaoru agreed, cutting in. "As long as   
their AT Fields are raised, regular firepower will be worthless."  
  
"Well, what is it you _want_ me to do?" Lewis shot back, his voice   
rising as he ripped the chewed-up cigarette out of his mouth. He was   
on his feet in an instant, "It wasn't enough that they could _eat_ my   
trucks," he said, swinging his arm in the general direction of the TV.   
"Now I've got something out there with the strike power of a _nuke_ on   
tap, and you're telling me I can't do shit!"   
  
The volumes spoken in that outburst were echoed by the volumes  
unspoken in the deathly silence that followed.  
  
Lewis sat back down. "Even if I really can't do anything, I might as   
well try," he said, a bit more calmly. "So let me delude myself for a   
while." When a slightly less tense silence answered him, he continued.   
"Now I've already put out search teams to try and find these things,   
but that's not a guarantee by any stretch of the imagination. You'd   
think it'd be easy, with robots that big, in a country this small..."   
this last part was more to himself than anyone else. "But anyway," he   
began again, "that's all I can do until we get them. So what can you   
do for your part?"  
  
"I suggest we step up the repairs to Unit-04," Ritsuko suggested,   
calmly. "In a few days we should have it up to minimum operational   
capacity."  
  
"Yeah, just in time to see it get trashed again," Asuka replied.   
"Minimum capacity isn't enough! We need to keep Unit-00 at full power,   
at least!"  
  
"Unit-00's never been better, Soryu," Kaoru added in, almost bored.  
  
"Yeah, minus a knife we can't replace," Asuka shot back, throwing him a   
withering stare. Kaoru didn't flinch in the slightest.  
  
"Asuka, calm down," Misato said, firmly. She waited until the German   
girl had composed herself. "Now, Unit-00's still viable, right? Good.   
_I_ say we build up our defense of this camp. If we find them, fine."  
  
"Find them and then drop a nuke on each," Asuka added on, her tone   
sounding almost bitter. No one noticed Lewis grit his teeth at this,   
then keep his eye on Asuka for a few long moments. Had anyone been   
watching, they'd have seen a look on the Major's face that was almost   
guilty.  
  
"That's overdoing it," Misato corrected her. "Now, we can use Unit-00,   
that much is true. As for Unit-04, I don't know." She glanced at   
Shinji, who was still rather silent. "What do you say, Shinji-kun?   
You've got a say in this, you know."  
  
Shinji seemed to snap out of some kind of trance at the sound of his   
name. "Well..." he began, hesitantly, "I think rebuilding Unit-04's a   
good idea. But we shouldn't leave here, now that they're awake. I   
mean...last time, we had the jump on it, but if we left now to go   
looking for them..." he trailed off.  
  
"...then by Murphy's law, while you're out, these two would come in and   
trash the place you call home," Lewis finished for him. "I agree with   
the kid," he said, nodding at Shinji. "If we find 'em, it's only to   
get a better ETA on 'em." Shinji just nodded mutely to this.  
  
"Play a defensive game?" Misato asked. "All right, that can work, I   
know that much. We'll meet them here."  
  
***  
  
Days later, Shinji was sitting down for what felt like the first time   
in ages. They'd finally sat down and gotten together something   
resembling a battle plan. The meeting itself had gone rather well.   
Though there were still a few sketchy areas and disagreements over   
certain details, they'd eventually been able to hammer out something   
workable. It would have to do.   
  
After that, the activity in the camp had gone up by a factor of ten.   
All of a sudden Shinji had had a million and one things to do. Areas   
needed to be designated as "safe zones", food and medical supplies had   
to be stockpiled in case of emergency, and people had to be kept clear   
of the American war machines, which were now on the move nearly 24   
hours a day, getting into position. But above all, people had to be   
introduced to the fact that they might have to leave the place that had   
become their home. They had to realize that - even if it was only for   
a short while - they'd have to abandon their work of two and a half   
years, to go hide somewhere marginally safer. That had been the most   
difficult part of all. Asuka had had to deal with the particularly   
stubborn people, the ones who would just as soon fight the Evas   
themselves as leave their homes behind. The shouting from those   
arguments still rung in Shinji's ears.  
  
Shinji sipped from a glass of water, watching the encampment. It was   
quiet now, both with the threat of attack and the end of the day. Very   
few people could be seen outside their shelters. It suited him fine;   
he could do without everyone asking him what they should do and why   
they had to do it.  
  
Footsteps signaled the end of that very short time of peace and quiet.   
Shinji at first pretended he didn't notice.  
  
"Hi, Ikari-kun."  
  
Shinji's brow furrowed at the unexpected voice. He looked over his   
shoulder. "Uh...hi, Hikari." He couldn't keep the nervousness out of   
his voice. The strain of the past few days was catching up to him, it   
seemed.  
  
"What're you doing out here?"  
  
"Nothing," he replied simply, looking back to the camp.  
  
"Oh." Shuffling sounds of the girl clumsily sitting on the ground.   
"So how are you?" she asked, a little while later.  
  
Shinji nodded. "All right. You?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"That's good."  
  
They sat there, in silence, for a while longer.  
  
"Are you scared?" she asked, finally.  
  
Shinji didn't reply. He wanted to ask why she was bothering to talk to   
him when she had so many other people she knew better. But he couldn't   
think of a way to ask without sounding impolite.  
  
"That's silly of me to ask," Hikari said, laughing nervously. "I mean,   
who isn't, right?"  
  
Shinji just nodded again. More silence.  
  
"Umm...Ikari-kun, can I ask you a question?"  
  
"Sure," came the guarded reply. "What is it?"  
  
"Well, that is...I..." she paused, then took a breath.   
"DoyouthinkI'llmakeagoodmother?"  
  
Shinji blinked. "Uh...calm down, Horaki-kun. What did you say?"  
  
Hikari turned red with embarassment. "I said...umm...do you think I'll   
make a good mother?"  
  
As she was sitting behind him and off to the side, Hikari could not see   
Shinji's eyes go wide with surprise. "Wh...what makes you ask that?"  
  
A brief pause, as the girl shrugged. "Just last-minute jitters, I   
guess. I don't know if I'm ready for this," she said, stroking her   
enormous stomach.  
  
Shinji was tempted to just say 'yes', but knew from experience with   
Asuka that simple yes's and no's were usually not enough to convince a   
girl of your sincerity. While he was trying to think out an   
appropriate response, Hikari continued on, trying to fill in the   
awkward silence that had developed.  
  
"I mean, my sisters had to look after me for a while after my mom   
died," she said. "They taught me, you know, how to cook and   
everything. But I never really had...you know, a mother to tell me how   
to...do it," she finished awkwardly, flushing a little. She looked up   
at him. "And, well...you know, you've been an Eva pilot since the   
beginning. You... um, might know something I don't. And Rei...said   
you could tell me."  
  
At the mention of the blue-haired girl's name, Shinji's hands tensed.   
He still hadn't forgiven himself for running last time, and he still   
hadn't spoken with her since then. Rei probably wanted to know   
why he was acting like this, even if she didn't ask him directly. That   
was just how she was.  
  
He heard, or rather felt, a crack. He had a heartbeat or two to wonder   
what that could have been before the pain hit. He looked down to his   
hand, to see that in clenching it, he'd cracked the glass he'd been   
holding. Water was leaking out, mixing with blood from a slice across   
his palm. Shinji winced, clenching his jaw and squeezing his eyes shut   
as the pain settled in, making him feel like his hand was on fire. He   
placed the glass down on the dirt, hoping Hikari didn't notice.   
  
He turned around, clenching his cut hand and covering it with his   
uninjured one. Unfortunately for him, however, Hikari saw the drops of   
red falling from his hand.  
  
"Oh, Ikari!" she exclaimed, worried. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm fine," he said, evenly. He instantly started mentally kicking   
himself. The last thing the girl needed now was more things to worry   
about.  
  
"No you're not. Let me see," she said, grabbing his hand. He tried to   
pull away, but Hikari held him firmly, prying his fingers open so she   
could look at the cut. She winced.  
  
"It probably looks worse than it is," she said, wiping off some of the   
blood. "But you should probably get it looked at."  
  
Feeling Hikari release him, Shinji pulled his hand back. He kept   
pressure on his cut, as the pain levelled off. "Thank you," he said.   
He smiled a little. "I think that's all the proof you need, Hikari-  
kun. You'll do just fine."  
  
Hikari's face lit up, as she cracked a real smile. "Thanks," she said.   
"It's nice of you to say that."   
  
"I'm serious, Hikari. You're a nice person. I think you'll be a great   
mother."  
  
Hikari looked away, turning a little red at the compliment. She   
started shifting around, trying to get back to her feet. Shinji got up   
and helped her up, taking her hand and pulling her to her   
feet.  
  
"Ikari-kun, I've got one other question," she began, even more   
hesitantly than before.  
  
"What is it?" Shinji asked, trying to sound like he wouldn't mind.  
  
"Well, it's just...have you noticed Rei is acting a little...well,   
strange?" She paused. "I guess that's a relative term for her, isn't   
it?" she laughed a little at her joke. When Shinji didn't reciprocate,   
she continued. "It's just...I tried talking to her earlier, just...to   
talk, you know. And she didn't seem interested at all. Just a few   
days ago, I'm sure she would've at least listened. But instead...she   
just walked off, saying she had things to do, and that I   
shouldn't...'waste her time'. She seemed kind of, um...serious. I   
don't know..." Hikari shook her head, the stress she'd been keeping   
inside starting to show. "Me and Asuka, we...well, I don't want to say   
the word 'fight', but I think she needs some space for a while, and now   
Rei is...Ikari-kun, do you have _any_ idea what it could be?"  
  
Shinji's breathing had gone shallow. Rei had...no, of _course_ he'd   
noticed the change in her behavior. But with all the excitement of the   
past few days, he hadn't had the time - or the guts - to worry about   
it. He'd just pushed that concern away, to some corner of his mind   
where it couldn't bother him. But now that someone else had voiced the   
same concern...  
  
Was it because of something _he_ had done?   
  
He didn't quite remember...his memories of the last night he spoke  
with her were still clouded and obscured, whether by deliberate   
repression or by the blow to his head he didn't know. But what had he   
said to her, to make her act this way? So quick to turn away a friend   
like Hikari, so quick to avoid contact with anybody else...  
  
She'd said something to him. That was for sure. But what? And what   
had been his answer?   
  
She'd said something. Something about what she wanted. And he had   
done something...something that had put what she'd wanted cruelly out  
of reach.  
  
^I want - ^  
  
What had she said?  
  
^I want to - ^  
  
Concentrate on what she said.  
  
^I want to understan - ^  
  
Concentrate.  
  
^I want to understand why - ^  
  
What had she said?   
  
^I want to understand why...^  
  
He could almost hear her soft voice again, speaking, no, whispering,   
those words while standing before him -  
  
^why...I...^  
  
- no, while she was closer to him, even closer, too close? -  
  
^why I...feel^  
  
- and she'd, she'd...-  
  
^why I feel this way...^  
  
- been about to -  
  
^No.^  
  
"Ikari?" Hikari asked, putting one hand on his shoulder to get his   
attention.  
  
Shinji shook his head, scrambling his thoughts long enough to focus on   
the present again. "Yeah...yeah, I noticed," he said, slowly. "I was   
going to talk to her about it," he lied. "I just wanted to wait   
until...well, after all _this_."  
  
Hikari sighed, a little. "I'll let you in on a little secret," she   
said, quietly as though she were afraid some invisible listener might   
overhear them. Shinji leaned a little closer, as the conspiratorial   
atmosphere got into him.  
  
"Sometimes, it's not good to wait," Hikari whispered to him, after a   
few seconds to collect herself. "I know you might say you're waiting   
for the best time, but you're afraid of what might happen, right?" she   
didn't wait for a response. "Ikari, sometimes you have to just go   
and..._do_ it. Because you never know when the person you have to talk   
to will be taken away." At this, she stepped back again, looking   
Shinji in the eye.  
  
"Sorry," he said. He couldn't even quite remember _why_ he should feel   
apologetic, but something in the girl's voice seemed to make him feel   
terribly guilty.  
  
"Don't apologize," Hikari ordered, sounding very much like she had in   
her old position as Class Rep. "It's just some advice, that's all.   
I'll see you later," she said.  
  
"Right. Good luck," he replied, as she left.  
  
^That went as well as could be expected, I guess,^ he reasoned. ^At   
least Hikari feels better. Even though I don't...^  
  
Indeed, if nothing else, he was feeling even more stressed, now. But   
he didn't have time to think that conversation over in his mind. For   
at that moment, the peace was again shattered, and by something   
entirely different: the cry of alarms, signaling an imminent attack.  
  
***  
  
Asuka made it to the command tent moments after Shinji, the alarms   
still blaring in the background.  
  
"All right, all right, I'm here already!" she announced, putting her   
hands on her hips. This got her a few glances from the other people in   
the tent, but not much else. However, the alarms _did_ shut off soon   
afterwards. Asuka smirked a little, at this.  
  
"Where's our pal from the States?" she asked, going deeper into the   
tent, where she could see Misato.  
  
The dark-haired woman only paused long enough to jerk one thumb over   
her shoulder, off to the side of the tent. She flashed Asuka a   
supportive smile, but Asuka had not trouble seeing the strain around   
Misato's eyes.  
  
Lewis was over where Misato had indicated, sitting next to a large   
radio transmitter. His face was turned away from her, but Asuka could   
still see the tension in the man. His free hand - the one not holding   
the headset for the radio - was clenched into a tight fist. As she   
watched, he banged this fist against the table the radio sat on,   
shaking the heavy device. Cursing, he hung up the headset and switched   
off the transmitter.  
  
"Something not going the way it should?" Asuka asked, as the big man   
stood up.  
  
"Something like that," he replied, bitterly. "The brass doesn't feel   
like I need anything more, so they're only giving me the options I had   
originally." He paused, apparently thinking something through.   
Finally, with a nod, he said, "looks like we take these things as they   
come."  
  
Asuka snorted. "There's an alternative?" she asked, sarcastically.   
She turned her back on him, but kept talking. "Sure love to hear it if   
there was one."  
  
With her back to him, Asuka could not see Lewis's face go deadpan as   
she mentioned an 'alternative'. Nor could she see him whisper, "no you   
wouldn't" at her. But the man just shook his head and followed her.  
  
Asuka and Lewis made it to what had become the improvised command   
center. Shinji was already there, hands resting on a large table, upon   
which was spread a map of the general area. Misato was with him,   
pointing out areas on the map, speaking rapidly as the boy just nodded   
periodically.  
  
"OK, what's up?" Asuka asked, her tone demanding an instant answer.  
  
"We're almost ready," Shinji replied, being the first to speak. It   
figured; he was the most familiar with that tone of voice, and had been   
trained by the girl to answer immediately when she spoke that way.   
"The Eva's in position, and everyone's evacuated."  
  
"One of the scout teams picked up both targets," Misato explained,   
picking up smoothly where Shinji had left off. "They were about six   
kilometers to our north, but they're moving fast. ETA twenty minutes."  
  
"And together," Shinji added in. "They aren't traveling separately."  
  
"It's fine," Misato said firmly, giving the boy a sharp stare. She   
sounded confident, but the quaver in her voice at the end of her   
sentence revealed otherwise. She quickly turned to the others,   
however. "We planned for this...it just means the job's going to be a   
little harder, that's all."  
  
Asuka managed another smirk, though this one was more forced. "We just   
get two out of the way at the same time. Makes it easier for us."  
  
No one said anything to this. They concerned themselves with last-  
minute details, hammering out the final details of their hastily   
crafted strategy. Stress was visible in everyone's face, no matter   
how hard they tried to cover it. They worked quickly, as the enemy   
would soon appear.   
  
Finally, it was time. On a TV screen projecting the feed from a camera   
in the field, the people in the tent could see them: a pair of MP Evas   
winging their way into view. At first, the distance made them appear   
no larger than a pair of birds, gliding on the wind. Then they came   
closer, and revealed their true selves.  
  
They were rather difficult to distinguish from one another. Both of   
them looked almost exactly as they had years ago, in their one and only   
battle. The only visible difference was that the second Eva was   
unarmed, while the lead unit clutched a long spear, looking like two   
enormous swords welded together end-to-end. The weapon, though   
undoubtedly heavy, was being firmly held in the thing's right hand.  
  
Shinji turned his head towards Asuka. He could see the tension in the   
girl's jaw, but otherwise, the girl seemed to be holding together.   
Either that, or she was holding it all in. He had no time to figure   
out which, as the activity in the tent tripled. Lewis and Misato were   
both speaking into radios, their voices exhibiting a sort of forced   
calm. The American commander was speaking in English, too quickly for   
Shinji to follow with what he'd learned of the language in school.  
  
Misato was speaking to Ritsuko and the team back at Unit-04. The Eva   
was nowhere near repaired, but they were still working hard on it,   
trying to wrap things up before the attack came. They were really   
pushing the envelope, now. Shinji could hear Misato asking Ritsuko, as   
politely as she could, to evacuate the site _now_.  
  
Shinji felt his stomach turn, watching. ^Is this going to work at all?^   
he asked himself.  
  
He was roused from his thoughts by Misato abruptly slamming her radio   
down on the table. Muttering something about a "stubborn old bitch",   
she turned to Lewis.  
  
"Alright, Major," she said, nodding at him. "Let's get started."  
  
"Yes _sir_," Lewis replied, mock-saluting and throwing in a little   
smile for good measure. He switched channels on his radio. "Battery   
four..." he began, in English again, slowly enough this time that   
Shinji could at least follow the general meaning of the words. "Fire   
on target Alpha."  
  
Maybe it was just Shinji's imagination, but he was sure he could _feel_   
the surface-to-air missile battery opening up, even from all the way   
back at the command tent. Along with everyone else, he looked to the   
TV screen. Sure enough, several plumes of smoke, trailing behind   
pinpoints of fire, could be seen, making a beeline for the trailing   
Evangelion.  
  
They hit the target, at least as well as Shinji could see. Most of the   
people in the tent didn't even seem to notice. There was definitely no   
cause for celebration, for as the smoke cleared, it could be seen that   
the Eva wasn't even scratched.  
  
No one seemed bothered by this, either. And for good reason; no one   
had expected the first shot to do anything. But, it did accomplish   
what they'd intended; they now had the Evas' attention.  
  
Shinji's brow furrowed as the other MP Eva veered off and made for the   
ground, while the one that had just been fired on turned _away_ from   
the missile battery.  
  
"It can't really be _afraid_ of that, could it?" he ventured. No one   
answered.  
  
The Eva that hadn't taken the hit - which also happened to be the one   
with the spear - touched down, its wings retracting almost before its   
feet had hit the ground. On the screen, Shinji could see it looking   
slowly back and forth, its lips curled back into a snarl. Suddenly,   
with speed belied by its huge form, it whipped its head back around,   
directly towards the missile battery that had just fired.  
  
A bright flash issued from the Eva's eyeless brow -  
  
- and the earth shook violently, sending objects and the tent's   
occupants to the ground.   
  
"What the hell happened?!" Misato demanded to know, as she was getting   
up.   
  
Lewis muttered a curse in English before adjusting the camera feed to  
show an answer.   
  
The tinges of static did not entirely clear, but Shinji could see what  
had happened. The missile battery was gone, replaced by a firey column   
of light that reached toward the sky and spread out into the bars of a   
shining cross.   
  
Behind him he heard Asuka choke back a gasp. Apparently he wasn't the  
only one who found the sight painfully familiar.   
  
"Guess that's what took out the observation post," Lewis commented. He   
brought his radio back up. "All units, repeat _all_ units, engage   
target Bravo! Fire at will!"  
  
Now Shinji _knew_ he could feel the roar of guns firing. As he   
watched, the screen lit up. All around the camp, missile batteries,   
howitzers, and tanks were opening up, unloading everything they had at   
the Eva on the ground.  
  
Meanwhile, Misato switched the view on the screen to another camera.   
They could now see the other Eva, still airborne, heading for another   
part of the camp. She reached for her radio, but found that it was   
missing.  
  
"Nagisa, come in, over," Asuka said, speaking into Misato's radio. The   
other woman gave her a quick glance of indignation, but then turned   
back to the screen.  
  
"Yes, Soryu?" came Kaoru's voice, eerily cheerful.  
  
"It looks like these things still know where you are. Are you ready?   
Over."  
  
"Rei and myself are both in position. Unit-00 is ready, yes."  
  
"Good. Deploy on my signal."  
  
Lewis switched the view again, onto to have Asuka switch it back   
immediately. The American commander gave her an annoyed look, before   
rolling his eyes and sitting down next to his radio. Shinji was, oddly   
enough, reminded of how he and Asuka used to fight over the television   
channel. If only it were something that trivial this time.  
  
The still-flying Eva could be seen now dipping down, turning its head   
back and forth as though its blind visage could actually see.  
  
Asuka brought up the radio. "Now," she said, simply.  
  
No reply came; none was necessary. On the ground, an enormous   
camoflage net twitched, then bulged as something under its protective   
cover moved. The net tried to resist the force, but it was far too   
much. After a second's worth of stubbornness, the tent pegs holding   
the net down began pulling free of the ground, launching into the air   
as their ropes went tight. The net rose up, falling limp and defeated   
about the thing it had been covering. As the form within got to its   
feet, a large cyclopean eye, coldly efficient and utterly emotionless   
in its gaze, came into view.   
  
The net fell loosely about Unit-00's shoulders as though it were a   
cloak, dirt and dust falling away from it in a fine mist, glittering in   
the late afternoon sun. The blue titan craned its neck, eyeing its   
airborne opponent, and knowing that it had been seen. Without looking,   
it smoothly detached the net from its shoulders and held it out at   
arm's length before dropping it into a heap on the cold earth. Now   
fully revealed, its body went taut, taking a wide, stable stance, as   
the MP Eva circled, finally swooping around and power diving directly   
towards the blue giant.  
  
***  
  
Rei watched, from her position of relative safety about a fifteen   
hundred meters away from the Evas, as the two giants clashed. Unit-00   
jumped to meet its opponent mid-dive, tackling the Eva and crushing its   
wings against its body, which sent them both crashing to the ground.   
It didn't last long, as the MP Eva kicked Unit-00 off of it and   
regained its feet, clenching its fists.  
  
^Release me.^  
  
Rei blinked, tempted to look around behind her. It sounded as though   
someone had just whispered those words into her ear.  
  
^Free me.^  
  
No, the only other person with her was Kaoru, whose eyes were following   
Unit-00's every movement, his mind willing the machine to move, ducking   
one punch and lashing out with a kick to the shin. The Eva backed off,   
its head moving in birdlike jerks as it studied Unit-00, standing at   
the ready to deflect another assault.  
  
A boil developed on the white Eva's head, swelling outwards and finally   
bursting, spraying out a jet of some kind of orange fluid. The liquid   
deflected off a hastily-raised AT field, spraying onto the ground   
around it and leaving a semicircle of scorched terrain where it had   
touched. As Rei looked again, she could see a single, large eye where   
the fluid had come from.  
  
^The song of battle calls for me.^  
  
Rei was already fairly certain of who the prodding voice belonged to,   
but she was still uneasy about how it was speaking in her head at all.   
And its tone was hardly reassuring; the first few words sounded almost   
condescending, but the last few showed an unspoken determination that   
it _would_ have what it wanted. Soon.  
  
Rei paid it no heed. She closed her eyes, blocking out the corner of   
her mind that the Dummy was speaking to. She could still feel its   
urgings, like a second pulse in her, but they were not so persistent,   
now.  
  
She needed something to focus on. She looked to the other end of the   
battlefield, away from Unit-00, as she felt some apprehension towards   
seeing the machine when it was so vehemently trying to wrest control   
from her. Over where the second MP Eva was, she could see nothing but   
carnage.  
  
A fireball, quickly dissolving into a cloud of black smoke, rose   
quickly from the latest kill. All around the white Eva, guns of all   
shapes and sizes were opening up. Tanks unloaded shells, missile   
batteries launched warheads that could level skyscrapers, and howitzers   
bombarded it from afar. All for naught. The Eva's AT field was   
faithfully protecting it, as evidenced by the hexagonal distortions in   
the air every time a shell detonated. Right alongside this perfect   
defense was a highly effective offense: with a glance, the Eva took out   
three tanks, all of them vanishing under the harsh glare of a burning   
cross. One of the handful of helicopters buzzing around it was swatted   
down effortlessly, as the Eva swung its gigantic spear around.  
  
As vehicle after vehicle was lost, as missile battery and tank alike   
were crushed or disintegrated, and as hopes continued to dim with every   
shot, she could hear them: the screams of the dead and dying. Even   
after they were speared or crushed or incinerated, they continued to   
echo inside her head, all of their pain and suffering mirroring her   
own, every last bit of death and destruction imprinted forever on her   
mind.  
  
After only a minute, she could no longer bear to look at the   
useless carnage. Try as she might, she just wasn't her old self   
anymore.  
  
And she was not the only one to realize that.   
  
^Can you hear them?^  
  
The voice, even muted by her purposeful ignorance, broke through   
even her strongest defenses.   
  
^_I_ can hear them.^  
  
The voice had mixed and mingled with the screams in her head, taking   
and twisting their strength until its very sound threatened to tear her   
heart to pieces.   
  
^Such pitiful squealings your lilim brethren have. Can you not feel   
their pain?^  
  
Yes...she could. And for once, she could not simply block it out.   
The pain tore at her heart, wracked her mind, rent her concentration  
to shreds with claws sharper than any beast's. And the voice continued.  
  
^I can feel the pain all around me.^ It was almost condescending again,  
but its next remark left Rei with no illusions.  
  
^I must help to..._deepen_ it.^  
  
The MP Eva sprayed another blast of the orange liquid onto Unit-00.   
The blue Eva covered its 'face' with one arm, and rammed its opponent,   
sending both of them sprawling.  
  
^No. I cannot let you.^ Rei thought desperately.   
  
^Why? Did you not enjoy this, once?^  
  
Rei froze.  
  
Unit-00 lashed out wildly with a punch. It only scored a glancing   
blow, but was still enough to send the MP Eva off balance as it tried   
to get back up to its feet. Unit-00 tried to get up quick enough to   
capitalize on this, only to receive a kick to the chest, sending it   
flat on its back.  
  
^Was it not the only thing you had? Was it not the only thing you   
valued?^  
  
Rei could say nothing.   
  
^Was it not the only thing you _lived_ for?^  
  
^...^  
  
More bulges appeared on the white Eva, across its shoulders and head.   
They all burst, sending a flood of the corrosive slime down onto Unit-  
00. The blue armored giant rolled quickly, getting clear of the worst   
of it. A quick maneuver from its powerful arms launched it off of the   
ground and back onto its feet, looking a little like a human gymnast.  
  
^Then let our petty differences _end_. We were both created for this.   
It is our purpose. It is our function. It is the very thing which gives   
us _life_. ^And it is the only way I can achieve my wish...no, _our_   
wish.^  
  
^I...I - ^   
  
^I am you, and you are I. We two are mirror images of the same being.   
Let us be one in our purpose. Loose these chains you have bound me   
with, and we will _both_ be free.^  
  
The MP Eva roared, looking at Unit-00 almost jeeringly, tempting it to   
try charging again, to come run to its death.  
  
^I...will not.^ was all Rei could muster.   
  
She could feel the frustrated rage building in the other, and she was   
helpless to resist as the voice struck down the last defenses,   
overwhelming her mind and blotting out her senses in a wave of alien   
emotion. She lost her balance, catching herself by falling down onto   
her knees.   
  
Unit-00 took the bait. Holding one arm in front of itself, it charged,   
extending its AT field to such strength that the ground itself broke   
ahead of its armored feet. The acidic spray hit the AT field and   
flattened, going in every direction. Unit-00 hit the Eva and grabbed   
it with both hands, ramming its head into the enemy's thick cranium.  
  
Yet these brave actions were in vain. As it had closed the distance,   
the acid had broken through the AT field, and armor was dissolving   
quickly under the corrosive touch. All of that was relayed faithfully,   
going directly into Kaoru's mind. The boy had hit his pain threshold,   
and now the Eva froze, both machine and controller paralyzed by the   
burning pain that covered their entire bodies. The MP Eva easily   
stepped out of Unit-00's grip.   
  
The blue Eva was then knocked back by a vicious punch, not from the   
opponent in front of it, but by the other MP Eva, which had apparently   
finished its rampage through the American ranks and was now joining its   
ally in battle.  
  
With a jolt, the Dummy broke through her mental block. It was not to   
be ignored; it invaded her, flooding her mind with its voice.  
  
^I WILL FIGHT.^  
  
"No..." Rei said, under her breath.  
  
^YOU _WILL_ UNLEASH ME.^  
  
"I will not."  
  
^YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO CONFINE ME SO. RELEASE ME, _NOW_, OR DIE   
FOR YOUR FOLLY.^  
  
_Definitely_ not a plea, now. "I refuse."  
  
^_I_ REFUSE TO BE KEPT ALOOF. BATTLE IS THE SOLE THING I HAVE WHICH   
GIVES MEANING TO THIS PITIFUL EXISTENCE.^  
  
Now Rei was holding her hands over her ears, an instinctive move   
against the sound which reverberated in her skull.  
  
^YOU ARE WEAK. YOU MAY ONLY CONFINE ME IF I WISH TO BE CONFINED. NO   
MORE WILL I STAND ASIDE, DOCILE AND OBEDIENT. NO MORE WILL I STAND   
ASIDE, THE TOY AND LAP-DOG OF YOUR EVERY WHIM. NO MORE WILL I ALLOW   
YOUR INSIGNIFICANT MIND TO STAND IN MY WAY. I _WILL_ BE SET FREE.^  
  
Now the message carried a definite force, each word pounding at her   
like a battering ram against a door. And that door was splitting.  
  
^I _WILL_ BE FREE OF YOU.^  
  
Rei fought it, throwing all her mental strength into resisting this   
sudden, alien force. She was filled with a sense of violation, as she   
became aware that something other than herself was inside her. Another   
intelligence, pushing for control of her, of the proverbial 'on' switch   
for the Dummy Plug.  
  
^NOW!^  
  
Its strength was not to be denied. It shoved against her psyche, a   
pulsing force driving her further and further back, no matter how much   
she tried to resist. Rei pitched forwards, digging her fingers into   
the ground. She shoved her tongue between her teeth and bit down hard,   
the sharp pain giving her a momentary shock of focus as the taste of   
her own blood filled her mouth. But it didn't last; her vision hazed   
over, a profound sense of vertigo filling her as she felt her very   
consciousness being repressed.  
  
"No..." she whispered, as she felt her resistance crack under the   
strain.  
  
It was all she could say, before her consciousness left her, abandoning   
her mind to the thing which sought its freedom. As the darkness closed   
in, she thought she could hear a voice...so much like her own, and yet   
fundamentally different...laughing.  
  
***  
  
A buzzing sounded in Kaoru's ear, but as it was, he could barely even   
_see_ through the haze of pain, let alone muster the concentration to   
make out words. He damped down his synchronization with the Eva,   
separating their two minds until the pain was less debilitating.  
  
"Control, repeat last message," he asked, his voice brittle with the   
stress.  
  
"AT field surge!" a voice repeated. He recognized it as one of the   
American techs covering the monitoring gear.  
  
"Where?" he asked quickly, trying to divide his attention between the   
rapidly degrading fight in front of him and the urgent communications   
from the HQ tent.  
  
"Nagisa, it's..." Asuka's voice replied. "...it's right next to you,   
Nagisa! Get out!"  
  
Kaoru turned his head, knowing before he even looked where that AT   
field could be coming from.  
  
Rei jerked once, arching her back from her position on the ground.   
Kaoru thought he saw a few drops of blood fall from her mouth. He was   
moving towards her almost immediately, ordering Unit-00 to fall back   
from its opponents.  
  
But he felt resistance on the other end, this time. The feel of the   
Eva in his mind shrank, as the machine responded less and less to his   
repeated commands, until it finally stopped moving.  
  
He glanced over his shoulder in time to see Unit-00 fall on its back,   
utterly inactive.  
  
^Get up,^ he thought, at it. Nothing happened. The pair of MP Evas   
circled cautiously for just a moment, gauging whether or not this was   
some sort of trick. But when Unit-00 didn't move, they grinned,   
showing their too-human teeth as they advanced. Hands clenched around   
the spear and acidic eyes blinked in anticipation of an easy slaughter.  
  
"Control, we're down to zero capacity," Kaoru relayed, slowly and   
calmly. He made it to Rei and went to one knee, rolling the girl onto   
her back and glancing her over. "Unit-00 is nonfunctional, repeat   
nonfunctional. And Ayanami's had some kind of attack," he continued.   
"She's unconscious. Over."  
  
^But still alive,^ he concluded, as he checked her pulse. ^Maybe the   
feedback was too much...but she wasn't even synching with the Eva.^ He   
had to get her out of here. With any luck - if it could be called   
'luck' - the Evas would be occupied with destroying Unit-00's limp   
form, and wouldn't notice Rei lying here. At least, for long enough to   
get clear. He didn't want to think about what they'd do if they found   
the blue-haired girl, here just as helpless as the blue titan lying on   
the ground not very far off.  
  
"Nagisa, you've _got_ to re-establish command," Misato's voice blared   
in his ear. "Ritsu tells me Unit-04 just isn't prepped, yet. Unit-  
00's all we've got. Over!"  
  
"I am aware of that, Misato-san," Kaoru said into the mike, turning and   
looking over at the Evas. They were both in position now, with the   
eye-covered one standing off at some distance, while the other one   
straddled Unit-00, fingers twitching on its lance. Kaoru shook his   
head, still pushing at that spot of his mind where he could almost   
_feel_ Unit-00. But no response came.  
  
Just as he gave up, he felt something twitch. Blinking, he explored   
the sensation. It didn't take long to realize that Unit-00 was going   
active again. Even now, he could see its hands beginning to move,   
though much too slowly and clumsily to try and block any kind of   
attack.  
  
^But I'm not controlling it,^ he thought, confused. His eyes widened   
as he felt a force surging through him. His eyes widened as he felt a   
surge of power emanate nearby, as if he was burning and freezing to   
death at the same time. He pushed the illusory pain away from his mind   
and turned his head to see Rei sprawled out on the ground, her eyes   
closed.   
  
"Rei..."  
  
The shock quickly faded in the face of another, greater shock, as the   
girl's hair ruffled by some unfelt breeze, and she began to rise _up_.   
Her skin began to glow, with a cold, pale light.  
  
"Rei...no, Rei! Stop it!"  
  
Some invisible force blasted out from the girl's body, splaying Kaoru's   
limbs out and throwing him backwards over a dozen meters. All the air   
went out of him as he crash-landed onto his back. Grunting in mild   
pain, he coughed, trying to breathe as a wave of dizziness went through   
him. It felt like that hit had scored a concussion. He saw double as   
he forced his head up.  
  
He looked to Rei as things began to come back into focus. Now, the   
girl was suspended in midair, hanging like a puppet held by strings.   
She made no effort to move, but her eyes still popped wide open. Only   
in place of the eyes that were so much like his own, there was nothing   
but a blinding light, outshining the rest of her body. Another surge   
of force welled up in her, as the glow condensed, gathering up in her   
body.  
  
Kaoru spared a glance over at the Evas. Now, the spear-carrying Eva   
was holding aforementioned weapon high above its head, ready for one   
powerful chop, likely more than enough to split Unit-00 in half. And   
still the blue Eva twitched, only becoming progressively stronger in   
its random motion.  
  
"Rei!" he called out, dragging himself to his feet in spite of the   
dizziness. He tried to run, but could only stumble along towards her,   
reaching out to try and grab her.  
  
"Rei, stop it! Don't do it, Rei!" She didn't hear him.  
  
He somehow got to her before whatever it was inside her burst out. But   
just before. He reached to grab her, but his hands stopped half a   
meter from her body, blocked by an invisible wall. Kaoru's eyes,   
though fuzzy with the shock, were still sharp enough to see the   
telltale distortions in the air.  
  
^AT field?^ he thought.  
  
It was his last conscious thought. Just as Kaoru was finding himself   
blocked, a wave of light exploded from Rei's body, hitting Kaoru full-  
on as it shot outwards. The boy was not thrown back, but his head   
snapped up as though punched. His eyes rolled up in his head, and he   
crashed heavily to the ground. Rei followed suit a moment later, as   
the unseen threads holding her aloft were suddenly released.  
  
Unit-00 was almost too late. The Lancea Longinus copy flashed down,   
swinging a broad arc right for the blue Eva's face. Unit-00's hands   
flashed up, clapping firmly on the blade as it came down, the CLANG   
of metal-on-metal resounding for kilometers.  
  
***  
  
Ritsuko looked up briefly at the loud noise. "They're definitely   
engaged," she muttered.  
  
"Hm?" Maya asked from her nearby terminal.  
  
"Nothing," Ritsuko replied, shaking her head.  
  
Any further conversation was cut off immediately by the loud pop of   
electricity, followed shortly by a loud curse.  
  
"Piece a' shit..." a masculine voice muttered from the ground, in   
English. A man climbed out from under a bank of computers, wiping the   
soot and grime out of his eyes. "How's that, Akagi?" he asked.  
  
Ritsuko's eyes flashed to one of the computer screens, taking in the   
data in the space of an eyeblink. "Still not good enough," Ritsuko   
replied, also in English.  
  
The man let out an exasperated grunt and plopped down in a nearby   
chair. "Well, _s'cuze_ me," he said, picking up his cold cup of coffee.   
"But it's hard tying together all these computers."  
  
"Are you sure we really need all this, sempai?" Maya asked in Japanese.  
  
Ritsuko nodded, smoothly changing languages. "Just think of how much   
power the MAGI had, Maya," she stated, authoritatively. "And even if   
we can get this...mess...working right," she said, looking around at   
the stacks of computers piled on top of each other, with countless   
cables running in between them all, "we're only going to have a   
fraction of that computing power. We'll need all of it to run real   
tests on an Eva."  
  
Maya nodded, lowering her eyes.  
  
"Uh, say..." the man said, speaking to no one in particular. "We got   
that thing outside plugged in yet?"  
  
Ritsuko turned to him, changing back to English. "If you're referring   
to Unit-04, no. We're far from that point."  
  
"Then...should _this_ be happening?" he asked, pointing to a screen.  
  
Ritsuko followed his finger to see what he was indicating. There, on   
one of the two dozen monitors glowing in the room, the readout for the   
Eva's battery was shown. A digital timer was being displayed, showing   
the amount of time the Eva would be able to remain active. Until now,   
it had been reading all zeros. But now...it was counting up.  
  
"What?" Ritsuko muttered, striding over to the screen. She leaned over   
it, double-checking to make sure she wasn't seeing things. There it   
was, counting back up, the hundredths flashing by so quickly she   
couldn't follow them, and the seconds ticking up quickly. The man   
behind her swallowed, seeing that the woman supposed to be the expert   
on Evas was apparently without an answer.  
  
"This says it's connected to external power, sempai," Maya said,   
reading another monitor on the other side of the tent.  
  
"But that's impossible!" Ritsuko asserted. "We haven't even brought in   
a power cable big enough to plug into it yet!"  
  
Maya just shook her head. She froze, however, as she saw another   
screen change from friendly green hues over to a dark red.   
"Uh...sempai..." she said, her voice beginning to quaver.  
  
"What now?" Ritsuko asked, crossing the tent to her assistant. She   
followed Maya's gaze. She blinked.  
  
This screen monitored the Eva's onboard computers. With the Eva not   
powered, it had, understandably, been showing them all offline. But   
now...  
  
"Dummy plug initializing?" Ritsuko read from the screen. "Startup   
procedure commencing?"  
  
"What..." Maya asked, then swallowed to get some moisture back in her   
suddenly dry mouth. "What's happening, sempai?"  
  
Ritsuko shook her head. "I'm not sure...but..." she turned, quickly   
scooping up a few loose papers from a chair behind her. "I think it   
would be a good idea to evacuate for now, Maya. You too, sir," she   
added on, looking to the man.   
  
He spared her a nod before getting to his feet. "My truck's outside,"   
he said, quickly. "We can use that."  
  
Without waiting for a reply, he went out the tent flap. Maya had   
already gone into a flurry of activity, switching off screens quickly,   
then riffling through the mass of papers blanketing every horizontal   
surface, looking for anything that might be important. This task was   
made even more difficult as her hands began to shake.  
  
"Calm down, Maya," Ritsuko said, putting one hand on the younger   
woman's arm. "It's nothing to panic about, just yet." Maya could only   
manage a quick nod.  
  
Ritsuko picked up a radio as she headed for the door, with Maya in tow.   
"Misato come in," she said. "We're evacuating the repair site. We'll   
be with you in a few minutes. Over."  
  
There was no reply for several seconds. Ritsuko waited, staring at the   
dormant radio, waiting for someone to get back to her. She climbed   
into the American engineer's Jeep along with Maya. The man took off   
almost before they'd closed the door.   
  
Ritsuko checked the frequency, making sure it was set to the right one.   
Finally, the speaker crackled.  
  
"Is that you, Ritsu? Why're you still there? Over."  
  
"We're leaving now, Misato. The Eva's registering a response on the   
monitors when it shouldn't be. I'd like to study it later, but I get   
the feeling I don't have the time, right now. Over."  
  
"No kidding. Well, get over here now, Ritsu. We've got a situation to   
deal with, and we might need your help. Over."  
  
Ritsuko was about to reply when she felt an insistent tapping on her   
arm. She looked up, to see Maya batting her, as a young child tries to   
grab its parents' attention. But what was truly successful in grabbing   
Ritsuko's attention was Maya's expression. All the blood had drained   
from her face, while her eyes were fixed unblinkingly out the Jeep's   
back window.  
  
"What is it?" Ritsuko asked.  
  
Maya could only point. Ritsuko looked, and froze.  
  
What she saw were high-tension steel cables snapping like threads,   
whipping around in every direction. Hadn't those been used to tie   
Unit-04 to the ground?  
  
A veritable _mountain_ of white metal moved, surging against the   
vestigal restraints holding it down. The catwalks stretched over Unit-  
04's chest crumpled, tore free of the ground and fell to pieces as the   
tons upon tons of metal/flesh shoved them out of the way. Sparks flew   
in a surreal fireworks display as electrical connections shorted out   
and broke. The hundreds of cables painstakingly inserted into the   
Eva's body strained briefly before their melted ends popped free of the   
white armor plating, falling to the ground and whipping about like   
snakes.  
  
Apparently unaffected by the gaping hole in its chest, Unit-04 kept   
moving. Already in a sitting positon, it leaned forwards slowly, then   
lifted its arms up high, snapping free of more restraints with a simple   
flex of its muscles. Then, it began to move its legs. It got to its   
feet shakily, amid a shower of wires and scaffolds breaking away, no   
longer able to restrain the beast now that it was awakened. The Eva   
wobbled for a moment, as though drunk. It crushed half the outpost   
with one footstep as it changed its stance and caught its balance.  
  
It shook off whatever malady may have been affecting it, shrugging   
itself into an upright posture and flexing its tremendous muscles. Its   
whole body tensed, as the ruined flesh around its wound began to glow.   
Cauterized blood vessels broke open, spilling fresh blood from the   
wound. Scraps of scorched muscle and organ were ejected, falling to   
the ground in a small hail of gore. Even as this happened, its skin   
flowed like water, sliding over the wound knitting together in the   
space of seconds. What was left was a patch of pale, veined skin   
sitting dead-center in its body, surrounded by battered metal plates.   
  
Finally, Unit-04 threw its head back, parting its jaws to emit an   
earth-shaking roar, heard loud and clear even as the Jeep sped away   
from it. As it lowered its gaze, it became evident that its eyes,   
previously a lifeless black, were now blazing bright crimson. The   
color of blood, calling for blood.  
  
Maya turned away, curling up into a ball as she covered her ears. Her   
eyes, however, remained wide, shaking with fear. The American, to his   
credit, was able to keep driving, though he did let out an impressive   
slew of curses.  
  
Ritsuko just raised the radio back up. "Misato? Now you have a worse   
situation to deal with."  
  
  
***  
  
"It _WHAT_?!" Misato nearly screamed into her radio.  
  
"It activated," came Ritsuko's staticky voice. "Unit-04 has found some   
power supply, and its Dummy Plug is active, Misato. Over."  
  
Misato paused, letting out a slow breath as her mind worked. "What's   
it doing now? Over."  
  
"It's on the move, Misato. Judging from its direction, I'd say it's   
headed towards Nagisa and Unit-00. Won't take long before it reaches   
there. Over."  
  
Asuka had been lucky enough to sitting close to this conversation.   
"Those two are worthless anyway," she said, loudly. "Can't even   
control the damn Eva half the time." She gave Misato a smirk. "Might   
as well tell them to get out."  
  
Misato nodded, tossing Asuka a radio as she headed back over to the   
monitors.  
  
"Hey, Nagisa," Asuka said into the radio, holding one hand on her hip   
and leaning against the tent post. "Get back in here, and bring   
Ayanami. Hear me?"  
  
The radio remained mute in response.  
  
"Hey, baka," Asuka said, the tension starting to seep through her   
voice. "Don't play this with me. Get _out_, got it?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Hey!" Asuka shouted to the others. "Is this thing broken, or what?"   
she asked, shaking the radio for emphasis.  
  
"Was working fine a minute ago," Misato said, without looking up.  
  
"Well, I'm not getting through to them. Either that, or the idiots   
just don't want to listen."  
  
Misato shook her head. "We don't _need_ this," she muttered.  
  
Asuka grinned at some private joke to herself. "Fine, _I'll_ go out   
personally. I'll get 'em back in here if I have to _drag_ them back."   
She chucked the worthless handset onto a table, where it skidded and   
fell off, crashing to the ground with a dull _thud_.  
  
"Wait," cried a masculine voice from behind the girl.  
  
Asuka looked back over her shoulder. "Shinji?" she asked.  
  
"I'll go," the boy said, shrugging. "Asuka, why don't you stay here?   
You...at least know what you're doing."  
  
Asuka's eyes narrowed, almost daring Shinji to shrink away. When he   
didn't, she turned around and grabbed his arm. "Ah, c'mon. Might   
need you to talk some sense into 'em. We're going!" she shouted, as   
she half-led, half-dragged Shinji out of the tent. On the way out, she   
grabbed a set of keys off a peg.  
  
"Asuka, you're not..." Shinji asked.  
  
"Not like I'm gonna walk all the way out there, not with this mess,"   
the girl said, tossing her head.  
  
Shinji just nodded. ^At least I can do some good out here,^ he   
thought. ^And maybe...just maybe...I can see what happens to   
them...when they kill one of those things.^  
  
The keys had a convenient tag attached to identify which vehicle to   
use. The pair ended up in a tan Jeep. Asuka jumped in and was   
buckling herself in before Shinji had even opened the door.  
  
"Least I can handle driving on the _left_ side," Asuka taunted, smiling   
at him.  
  
Shinji just blushed a little. Much like his other friends, he'd   
learned how to drive on the Land Rover, which had the steering wheel on   
the right side. This Jeep, on the other hand, was built to American   
standards. So far, Asuka had been the only one who'd been able to   
drive on either side without crashing.  
  
Asuka gunned the engine, and they were off, all four wheels spinning as   
she applied a bit too much gas. Shinji could only hold on for dear   
life, as the small vehicle managed to find every little bump and dip in   
the terrain.  
  
Shinji looked to the side, to see Unit-04's approach. The white giant   
had cleared most of the distance now, and was charging straight for   
the other three Evas. From what he could see, it was going to cut   
right in front of them.  
  
"Do you see - " he began, pointing off to the left.  
  
Asuka slapped his hand down. "I know!" she shouted back, over the roar   
of the engine. She shifted gears roughly, throwing them both back into   
their seats. She jerked the steering wheel, causing Shinji's stomach   
to lurch as they banked off to the side.  
  
Shinji watched as Unit-04 passed in front of them, growing bigger by   
the moment as the distance closed. Asuka kept going, her turn having   
lined them up so the Eva would be long gone by the time they reached   
its path. The Jeep easily shot between the trailer-sized footprints,   
continuing on its run.  
  
Shinji turned in his seat, looking behind them at the battle that was   
still raging. Unit-00 was keeping both Evas at bay, first attacking   
one, then switching targets and attacking the other when it got too   
close.  
  
^Kaoru-kun's doing pretty well,^ he thought, watching. ^He's right, he   
really _is_ getting better control of the Eva. But whose side is Unit-04   
on?^  
  
Hopefully theirs. But he didn't have time to see, as Asuka slammed on   
the brakes. The Jeep and its riders all pitched forwards, the tires   
locking up as they screeched to a halt.  
  
"Well, that was fun," Asuka said casually, brushing her hair out of her   
eyes. She got up, the Jeep lurching once, then stalling, as she took   
her foot off the clutch. Asuka rolled her eyes at this, then jumped   
free.  
  
"Fun little drive," she commented, as her feet hit the ground. "Should   
do this more often, Shinji-chan. But next time we're going somewhere   
quieter. Maybe I'll even let you drive."  
  
Shinji, swallowing, was only able to nod curtly at Asuka's attempt at   
humor. He unbuckled himself and jumped out of the Jeep. He caught up   
quickly with Asuka, just as they found the objects of their trip.  
  
"Kaoru-kun?" Shinji asked in a panicked voice, as he ran ahead of   
Asuka, to kneel next to the gray-haired boy. He grabbed Kaoru's   
shoulders and rolled him onto his back. "Kaoru! Can you hear me?" No   
response. "Kaoru, what happened? Say something!"  
  
Asuka caught up a heartbeat later, kneeling down next to him. "Very   
dramatic," she said, sarcastically. "But he's just out. See?" she   
asked, pointing to the boy's chest, which was still rising regularly   
with breath.  
  
"Yes, I know," Shinji replied quickly, nodding. "But what happened?   
Where's Rei?"  
  
"I think I see her," Asuka said. "No, don't get up. _I'll_ handle   
Ayanami. Do something useful and get him into the truck."  
  
"I don't know if we should move him, Asuka..."  
  
The ground shook under the shock of some heavy impact. A loud, inhuman   
roar could be heard not too far off. The challenge was soon answered   
by other roars.  
  
"Baka!" Asuka shouted, clipping Shinji in the head. "You want to leave   
him out _here_? I'd take my chances with moving him."  
  
Shinji cringed slightly at the hit, rubbing at his head. Then, he   
looked down at Kaoru. He was about to try lifting the boy when he   
paused, running his tongue along his teeth in thought.   
  
^Who's driving the Eva?^ he asked himself. ^If Kaoru's out, then...  
  
^Oh, no.^ He stood up.  
  
"I'll be right back," he said to Kaoru's limp form. Then he trotted   
off after Asuka.  
  
He saw the girl standing next to a familiar shape on the ground. "How   
is she?" he asked, out of breath from both the exertion and the   
adrenaline rush.  
  
Asuka's head snapped over to look at him, her eyes narrowing. "I said   
go handle Nagisa," she said. She rolled her eyes, looking back to Rei   
as she took a step forwards. "I'll tell you how she is in a min - "  
  
She was cut off as she apparently walked into a wall. The air rippled   
briefly, and then Asuka was thrown backwards, crash-landing not too far   
away with a loud 'oof'.  
  
"What?" Shinji asked, incredulous. He went over to Asuka and offered   
his hand to let her up. Asuka just batted it away and got back to her   
feet.  
  
"Kleine Schlampe..." she cursed, under her breath. "What the hell..."  
  
Dusting herself off, she got back to Rei, gingerly reaching out to   
grasp at the air. At first, it looked like nothing would happen, but   
then her hand was blown back, as though she'd been shocked.  
  
Asuka cursed, holding her sore hand. "What is this?!"  
  
"I don't..." Shinji said, shaking his head. "...it can't be an AT   
field, right?"  
  
"How should _I_ know?" Asuka snapped at him. "Look, baka Shinji, _you_   
handle this. _I'll_ get Nagisa."  
  
^Don't tell me she's afraid...^ he wondered, as he watched Asuka jog   
off towards Kaoru. But this was neither the time or the place to be   
thinking about something like that. Shinji slowly clenched one hand,   
looking down at Rei. The girl was lying face-down in the dirt. He   
couldn't even tell if she was still breathing. But...how to get close   
to her?   
  
He picked up a small rock from the ground, throwing it cautiously so it   
would go over Rei, just in case the midair wall had vanished. He was   
not so lucky; the rock deflected off, sailing back the way it had come   
and nearly hitting Shinji in the process.  
  
"Rei?" he asked, trying a different tack. "Rei, can you hear me?"  
  
The girl didn't move.  
  
"Rei? Rei, come on, don't do this..." he reached forwards, clenching   
his jaw in anticipation of pain. But he stopped just short of the   
field, as a wave of apprehension hit him. He stood up quickly, turning   
to look back at the four Evas.  
  
While the MP Evas were savage enough, they appeared docile next to   
Units 00 and 04. Those two were battling with inhuman fervor. They   
clawed, crushed, bit, and gored. Though they were armed with nothing   
but their hands, they were no less devestating than their decidedly   
better-armed opponents.   
  
They were not machines; those would have been cold and precise. Nor   
were they animals; those would have retained some vestigal concern for   
their own well-being. These two Evas were something else entirely;   
they were given over to a bloodlust he knew he would never comprehend.   
While the MP Evas were frightening in their drive to destroy their   
opponents, these were worse: they wished for nothing less than the   
destruction of _everything_. Even themselves.  
  
"They're berserk..." he muttered. "No one's controlling _any_ of   
them..."  
  
The fight raged on, nonetheless. One of the MP Evas - the one with the   
spear - was backing away, holding its weapon at the ready.   
  
The other MP Eva was also backing away, in the opposite direction.   
Units 00 and 04 were standing back to back, flexing their hands as they   
eyed their opponents.  
  
Unit-04 charged first. Opening its mouth and emitting an almost   
mournful howl, it charged at the spear-carrying MP. Unit-00 took off   
after the other one, a moment later.  
  
The other Evas were not to be caught off guard. Unit-04's target   
switched its grip on the spear, holding it out horizontally. Unit-04's   
shoulder pauldron snapped open and the Progressive knife within   
deployed. Its opponent deftly blocked the first jab with the knife.   
It had to stay on the defensive, though, as Unit-04 drew back its   
lighter weapon and jabbed again. This maneuver was also deflected,   
though not as well. The knife ended up getting past the MP Eva's guard   
and snagging in its armpit. But this left Unit-04 open; now shoved   
right up against the lance, it could not defend itself as the MP Eva   
spun the large weapon down, burying it in 04's head. Shinji watched,   
disgusted, as the Eva's skull cracked, the spear tip lodged in the   
right side, with bits of brain leaking out.  
  
Unit-04, however, didn't even seem to notice. It turned the knife so   
the sharpened edge was facing up, grabbed with both hands, and threw   
all its strength into one upward stroke.  
  
Shinji blinked as the relatively tiny Prog Knife cut through the MP Eva   
like butter. With a loud snapping noise, it slashed up through the   
shoulder, freeing Unit-04 to step away, sliding off of the lance in the   
process.  
  
The MP Eva's arm, its bone sliced neatly, swung away, dangling by a   
strip of flesh for a moment before that, too, gave out, and the limb   
dropped to the ground. The MP Eva growled in pain and frustration,   
holding its heavy weapon with its one remaining arm as it took a few   
steps back. Blood poured from its stump, running in rivulets down its   
side and leaving a trail on the ground as the Eva moved.  
  
Unit-04 tried another swipe with the knife, but it was blocked, the MP   
Eva somehow able to muscle its spear into position. Then the odd   
flash of light appeared again on the MP Eva's head. Unit-04 jumped   
back just in time to avoid a huge cross-flare burning stright up, right   
where it had been a moment ago. Before the pillar of energy had   
dissapated, the MP Eva had spread its wings and taken off, quickly   
rising out of reach. Finally, it turned and fled, abandoning its   
companion to its fate. The Eva had apparently realized that to stay   
against these things, these machines turned monsters, would mean its   
death.  
  
Changing targets, Unit-04 turned and ran for Unit-00, leaving a trail   
of its own blood and brain behind it, seeping through its head wound.   
The blue Eva was having trouble with its opponent. The MP Eva had   
taken to the air, staying tantalizingly out of reach. Yet it was still   
capable of attacking; the eyes dotting its chest and head opened   
periodically, spraying out an orange fluid that Unit-00 was hard-  
pressed to avoid. The fluid hit the ground and hissed, bubbling as it   
dissolved the very earth, amidst clouds of acrid smoke. If it could,   
the MP Eva might have been laughing, crowing and taunting with mockery   
most cruel as it rained shower after shower of deadly acid with   
impunity, all the while remaining frustratingly out of reach for Unit-  
00.   
  
Unit-04 was added to this mix. The Eva skidded to a halt next to Unit-  
00, spreading its AT field to block the acid tumult. Just as the   
attack receded, Unit-04 cocked its arm and threw its Prog Knife. Even   
missing one eye, it was still able to aim, and in this case had the   
benefit of surprise. The MP Eva, caught off-guard, took the blade in   
the chest, right through one of its numerous eyes. This hit a pressure   
reserve of some kind, as the eye exploded, spraying out a fine mist of   
deadly liquid in every direction. The Eva's wings went limp, either   
from pain or surprise, and it plumetted.   
  
Unit-00 was on the move already. Unit-04 tried to follow suit, but its   
movements suddenly became sluggish, slowing down to a snail's pace and   
finally dropping to nothing. Its joints locked, and it fell forwards,   
landing heavily on its shattered face. Either finally dead from its   
head injury or simply out of power, it looked as though it were staying   
where it fell, this time.  
  
It wasn't missed. Unit-00 plowed ahead through the acid fog, using its   
AT field to negate that of the other Eva's, even what remained of its   
armor plating began to sizzle and burn under the assault of the   
corrosive liquid. It fell on the MP Eva with fervor, fists punching   
like pistons. The MP Eva grabbed its arms in a feeble effort to defend   
itself, holding back the next blows temporarily. Unit-00 shuddered   
with the effort, then tensed, as smoke began drifting up from its arms,   
where the MP Eva's hands touched it. It buried its foot into the MP   
Eva's torso and pushed, tearing free of its grip.  
  
The MP Eva's hands fell away, revealing two more eyes, one sitting in   
each palm. It held its hands in front of it protectively, fingers   
splayed, as both eyes sprayed acid onto its opponent.  
  
Unit-00 held up one arm to defend its face, the orange fluid pouring   
down it as it regained its footing and came at the Eva one last time.  
  
Unit-00 grabbed the MP Eva's wrists, aiming the deadly palms away from   
itself and giving it an opening to headbutt its opponent. The MP Eva's   
skull nearly flattened under Unit-00's armored cranium. Shinji   
cringed, watching.  
  
Unit-00 fell to its grisly work. The MP Eva was torn limb from limb,   
its torso ripped open and gutted like a fish. Finally, Unit-00 reached   
in, clenched its hand on the red orb of the core, and squeezed.  
  
Shinji turned his back to the impending explosion, both in the   
interests of preserving his vision and to get a better look at Rei,   
right as this happened. He tried to brace himself as he heard the   
_crack_ of an explosion, but was still knocked off his feet by a   
veritable _wall_ of sound as the shockwave hit. He caught himself,   
forcing his head up to see Rei.  
  
The girl moved, rolling over and arching her back, her skin taking on a   
luminescent quality for a few long heartbeats. Shinji watched,   
dumbstruck, as the girl eased herself back down, returned to 'normal',   
having never opened her eyes.  
  
He let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. "OK, then..."   
he said to himself, going forward to try to pick up the girl. But he   
was caught off-guard as the AT field around Rei shocked him backwards,   
just as it had with Asuka.  
  
"It's still..." he mumbled, reaching out.  
  
He turned back to look at the Eva. It had stood up, apparently unfazed  
by the explosive death of its foe. Perfectly ignorant of the carnage  
around it - carnage that would, had he been seeing through Unit-00's   
eye, have left him retching and weeping - it began to survey the   
horizon. As blood and gore dripped down the giant machine like the   
remnants of some sadistic baptism, it seemed distracted and pensive, as   
a hound will seem when it acquires the scent of its prey. It was   
looking for something alright - and not long after it found what was   
calling it, as it locked its gaze somewhere to right of the   
battlefield.   
  
Blood dripped from the titan in a slow rain as Shinji looked on in   
terror. It was looking for _something_, but _what_? With both Rei and   
Kaoru unconscious and the Eva's stubborn refusal to shut down, no one   
and nothing could stop the berserk machine if it did something drastic.  
It was looking at something, sizing up something unseen, but the   
question of what still dogged Shinji's mind. Was its target the   
retreated MP Eva? Its former masters? Or something worse?   
  
Shinji quickly realized, that, thankfully, it would not be a threat to   
him, or Rei or Kaoru or Asuka.  
  
But only because Unit-00 began walking, step after confident step,   
toward its goal. It was not walking toward him; neither towards Asuka   
nor towards the shattered remnants of their military support; but   
towards somewhere further off on the horizon.   
  
Towards the tiny, insignificant smudges dotted with the lights of   
makeshift fires kindled in preparation for the coming night, the place  
of the encampment, the place where he'd assured countless people   
countless times that they'd be "safe."   
  
A place now full of people totally unaware that what had once been   
their greatest ally...  
  
"NO! You _won't!_" Shinji screamed.  
  
...was now walking there, with a strange sort of swagger...  
  
"You mustn't!"   
  
...and a confident step that spoke of self-assured impunity...  
  
"You CAN'T!"  
  
...and a look of murder in its eye.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: Nothing like a cliffhanger to keep people on their toes. Next   
chapter's mostly done already.  
  
By the way, anyone who tries to make anything out of Shinji and   
Hikari's discussion, i.e. tries to say that means they're romantically   
involved, will find themselves all alone in that respect, as that was   
not the message I was trying to convey.   
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: January 1, 2002  
Version 1 Ended: February 12, 2002  
Version 2 Ended: March 1, 2002  
Version 3 Ended: May 20, 2002  
Version 4 Ended: June 29, 2002  
Version 5 Ended: July 28, 2002  
  
Thanks go to Ghost in the Shell for giving me the English-German   
translation I needed. In case you're wondering, "Kleine Schlampe"   
means "little bitch".  
  
Thanks also go to the Avatar of Dragonia and Judging Eagle for   
prereading. Extra thanks go to the Avatar of Dragonia, who   
contributed ideas for a many of the scenes in this chapter.  
  
My site can be located at   
http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/shinjirei/index.html AND   
http://www.geocities.com/otakusadist/index.html.  
  
My e-mail address is still otakusadist@hotmail.com. 


	18. Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Note: 100 kilometers per hour (kph) about equals 60 miles per hour.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
^ ^ = thoughts  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Angels of Armageddon  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
Chapter 14: The Monster Within  
  
One would think that the level of activity in a command center during a   
battle would be something akin to a bees' nest. For the most part,   
this was true of the command tent. But though people were moving with   
the rapid efficiency that stemmed from training and experience, there   
was an odd silence hanging in the air like a funeral shroud. No one   
dared say anything in more than a whisper, even when transmitting   
orders to troops. For all around the tent, people were looking up,   
pausing in their work to see the events displayed on the television   
screens set up against one wall.  
  
On one of the screens, they could see one of the enemy Evas flying   
away, its stump of an arm bleeding profusely. Its other arm, however,   
still carried its long spear.  
  
Each and every one of the other dozen screens was focused on something   
other than the fleeing giant. On all of them, Unit-00 was busily   
tearing the enemy Eva apart with its bare hands. Blood sprayed from   
torn arteries, acid flowed from destroyed 'eyes' on its head, and   
everywhere destroyed flesh could be seen lying about. Through it all,   
the Eva was still twitching, still trying to defend itself, still   
trying to remain alive.  
  
More and more people looked up from their work, entranced by the grisly   
sight on the monitors. Finally, Unit-00 plunged its hand deep into the   
enemy Eva's gut, pulling the red orb up to the surface. It studied the   
core for a moment, then turned its head to look at the remains of the   
MP Eva's skull, as though gloating over its imminent vicotry. The MP   
Eva's jaw opened and closed, unable to scream its defiance. Finally,   
Unit-00 squeezed, crushing it as though it were no stronger than an   
eggshell.  
  
The resulting explosion blocked out their view for almost a full   
minute, as the flash blinded the cameras set up on the battlefield.   
Some people reflexively covered their eyes, but still, no one in the   
command tent made a noise. By now, the silence in the tent had become   
complete.  
  
Finally, the effects of the flash cleared enough for an image to come   
through. Now, Unit-00 was standing erect again, looking around as   
though in search of another opponent, even though both enemies were now   
gone, one destroyed and one fled. And _still_, no one in the tent said   
anything.  
  
Finally, Unit-00 looked towards the camp, its 'eye' lining up almost   
perfectly with one of the cameras. Its fists clenched and it began to   
move, slowly at first, then more quickly, towards the camp.  
  
A moment passed, as it registered around the tent just what was   
happening. Finally, someone in the tent broke the icy silence.  
  
"Shit."  
  
That was the trigger. All of a sudden, the command tent exploded back   
into a fury of activity, with people yelling into radios, rattling off   
reports, and lining up pieces on maps.  
  
"Rei! Nagisa!" Misato was shouting into a radio. "Either of you?   
_Anyone_! Answer me!" She paused for a heartbeat's worth of static.   
"Unit-00's coming this way! Shut it down, now!" Still, nothing but   
static as a reply.  
  
Behind her, several American operators were giving evacuation commands   
to the shelters they'd set up. They tried very hard not to look or   
sound strained, even though they knew there wasn't nearly enough time   
to get everyone away.  
  
Lewis, however, was doing something different. "All units, change of   
targets!" he commanded into his radio. "Switch to target Delta, repeat   
target Delta! Fire at will!"  
  
And again, the war machines stationed around the camp and battlefield   
began to open fire. This time, however, they targeted Unit-00, the   
thing that until five minutes ago had been their staunch ally. Only a   
few of the large guns were in a position to hit it, unfortunately; the   
rest had been stationed further out on the battlefield and would have   
to roll around to a better location to get a good shot.  
  
The shots had about the same effect as they had on the enemy Eva.   
Every bullet, every missile, every bit of shrapnel deflected off the   
glowing hexagons of Unit-00's AT field. It continued its advance, now   
almost upon the camp. But it still turned away briefly, crushing a gun   
emplacement that had had the audacity to stand in its way.   
  
Lewis winced, briefly as the screams of the men on the emplacement cut   
off suddenly in a burst of static over the comm channels. He paused,   
briefly. Misato looked at him, meeting his eyes but saying nothing.   
Yet the look on her face told volumes.  
  
Lewis finally nodded, bringing the radio back up to his mouth. "All   
units..." he muttered into it. "All units...fall back. Repeat, break   
off engagement."  
  
There was a brief, angered reply, likely one of the soldiers contesting   
the order. Lewis shouted back a reply which was mostly expletives,   
then slammed the radio down so hard the casing cracked.  
  
Misato mouthed "sorry" at the American commander, then turned back to   
the televisions.  
  
"Oh, my God..."  
  
***  
  
"Oh, my God..."  
  
Shinji could only watch the destruction, helpless. The Americans were   
putting up their best efforts, slinging everything they could at the   
out-of-control Eva, all for naught. They were being slaughtered   
piecemeal, as the Eva went from one attacker to the next. Even though   
their rounds couldn't hope to damage it, their resistance still got its   
attention. But this was their undoing; in its current state, anything   
Unit-00 focused its attention on was what died next.  
  
He was shaking. He couldn't even stand still, watching it. At least,   
that was what he thought. After another moment, he became aware of a   
pressure on his arm. That, and someone shouting in his ear.  
  
"Hey!" Asuka was yelling, as she shook him. "Hey, baka Shinji! Snap   
out of it!"  
  
Shinji blinked, jumping a little as he focused again. "Asuka..."  
  
"I know!" she shouted at him. "I know, believe me! Now stop standing   
around like some idiot and _do_ something!"  
  
Shinji blinked. ^She's...asking _me_? Does that mean she doesn't know   
what to do either?^  
  
"I..." he stammered. ^What am I supposed to do? Someone help...^  
  
"Come on!" Asuka shouted, dragging him over to Kaoru's limp form.  
  
"Asuka, what're you doing?"  
  
"We came out here to get them," she grumbled, kneeling down and taking   
the pale boy by his shoulders. "Might as well do _that_ much." She   
gestured with a jerk of her chin towards his feet. Shinji got the   
message and took Kaoru's legs, lifting him up.  
  
It was fortunate that the Jeep's top was down; that made it much easier   
to lever him into the back. Now that just left...  
  
Asuka was looking at him, now. Her face seemed to be asking a   
question, and he wasn't sure he knew what it was. She almost looked   
like she was ready to leave. One hand was already on the driver's   
door.  
  
^But...Rei's still back there...^  
  
Maybe Asuka read the answer off his face. More likely, she made her   
own decision, like always. Whatever the cause, she let go of the door   
and took Shinji's hand, pulling him sharply away from the Jeep and   
towards Rei. Her grip was a little too tight; she was practically   
cutting off circulation. And this time, instead of grumbling, she was   
strangely quiet, walking with a resolve Shinji envied every time he saw   
it in her.  
  
She stopped a few meters away from Rei. Still saying nothing, she   
looked up at Shinji. This time, he could tell what she was asking: how   
the hell were they supposed to get Rei out of here, when they couldn't   
even get _near_ her? If that force field was still there...  
  
Asuka reached out, and sure enough, her hand was blown back by some   
invisible force. Rubbing her sore fingers and clenching her teeth in   
pain, she backed off. Now, her face looked exactly as it had back at   
the Jeep. She looked like she was half a heartbeat away from just   
walking off, leaving Rei to whatever fate awaited her.  
  
Shinji tried reaching forwards, with the simple disbelief that this   
could be happening. It was just too much, too fast...  
  
He felt it. A jolt through his arm, like grabbing a live wire. His   
body shuddered with the force. But it didn't hurt, somehow. He tried   
pushing, and it pushed back, just as hard. He put his other hand on   
the 'wall' in front of him. Still, it didn't hurt. Now he could smell   
something burning. But it also felt like something was giving...  
  
Finally, the shield gave way, so suddenly that he lost his balance and   
tumbled forwards, catching himself with his hands before his face could   
hit the ground.  
  
Then, it started to hurt.  
  
He was lucky he was already on the ground; otherwise, he'd have fallen   
from the shock of it. It felt like he was on fire.  
  
Fire. Burning. He looked at his shaking palms. The skin had been   
scorched brown by the energy of that...that...whatever-it-was that had   
been in the way. It was still smoking, a little.  
  
"Baka!" Asuka shouted, kneeling down next to him. "Are you OK? Oh,   
shit...no, you're not. Shinji, you colassal _idiot_!"  
  
"Sorry," he muttered.  
  
"Can it. C'mon, might as well..." She was back to grumbling, as she   
lifted Rei. Shinji tried to help, but it felt as though the strength   
had gone from his fingers. It hurt to even move his hands.  
  
"Oh, forget it and get in the truck," Asuka chided him. "I'll handle   
this." She started dragging Rei along the ground by her armpits, the   
blue-haired girl's head lolling about on her neck with each shift and   
bump.  
  
"Sorry," he said again.  
  
"I said forget it," Asuka said, her voice not as angry this time.   
"Just wait for me. When this is over, we're getting you looked at, got   
it?"  
  
"Right."  
  
Finally, they were all back in the Jeep. Asuka half lifted, half threw   
Rei into the back, alongside Kaoru, then she jumped into the driver's   
seat.  
  
"So now what?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Now we see what we can do," Asuka said, her voice serious. She   
started the engine. "Even if it's stupid to go back."  
  
She hit the gas, turning them around and heading back towards the camp.   
Because now, the Eva had run out of military machines to destroy, and   
had turned its attention to the ramshackle structures that stood before   
it.  
  
***  
  
A demon, clad in blue armor and seeing through one unblinking red eye,   
descended on the encampment. Its enormous hands flexed, becoming fists   
which it plowed into buildings with reckless abandon. Concrete, steel,   
flesh and blood, they made no difference. All that mattered was   
carrying out its assigned purpose of destruction. Anything that lay in   
its path was to be annihilated, quickly and utterly.  
  
Shelters collapsed at the slightest nudge from the monster. Vehicles   
and equipment were crushed as though they were no more substantial than   
paper. The very earth split under its heavy feet, tortured into wide   
crevasses around its footprints.   
  
But still, it desired...no, _needed_ more. Its head tracked back and   
forth as it stomped through the encampment. Its eye finally locked   
onto a building where it could feel the presence of living souls. It   
advanced hungrily, knocking over everything between it and its target.  
  
The building was made a bit more solidly than the others it had   
encountered so far. Its walls were freshly made, with reinforced   
concrete making a hard shell around its occupants. It also appeared to   
be built deeper, with the souls contained within hiding under the   
illusion that they were safe.  
  
The building's roof shattered under the Eva's hand. The sound of human   
screaming filled the air, even over the roar of buildings collapsing.   
The Eva shoved the walls in, sending an avalanche of concrete and steel   
reinforcement beams onto the building's pitifully weak inhabitants. A   
satsifyingly large number of the forms inside stopped moving.  
  
But some kept going, running out of an exit it hadn't bothered to take   
into account. They ran, trying to get to freedom, trying to outrun the   
monster outside. But the pitifully weak humans did not realize that   
Death had come for them, in the form of one of their own creations.   
And there was no running from the inevitable. They died under Eva's   
feet like so many ants, leaving spreading pools of red surrounding   
piles of flesh and bone that might have once been alive.  
  
There were still more, however. It looked to another direction, then   
another. All around it were groups of lives, some under constructions   
like this, others cowering under less substantial cover. But through   
it all, one life in particular stood out. Something that had been   
burned in its digitized memory from the moment of its rebirth was   
triggered: the desire to finish what had been started years before. To   
destroy the enemy it alone had killed, and which now stood alive   
again.   
  
Eva-00 shivered with anticipation as it approached.  
  
***  
  
Ariel shuddered, suddenly, feeling an itch between her shoulders.  
  
She looked behind her, but no one was there. Well, no one who was   
looking at her, anyway. Currently, she and many other of the   
inhabitants of the camp were stuffed into this hastily crafted bunker,   
sealed inside something that could at least withstand a little   
punishment. It was rather cozy, by necessity; the Americans hadn't had   
time to pour very large shelters for them.  
  
The ground was shaking regularly, with the recoil of guns and the   
footsteps of giants. No one could really tell what was going on   
outside, as the tremors were coming almost continuously, from different   
distances.  
  
It was nothing to be afraid of, she told herself. It had just felt   
like someone was staring at her. That was to be expected, of course.   
She was surrounded by people. And as Asuka had explained to her in   
great detail, several of the 'perverts' - otherwise known as males -   
found her attractive. It should come as no surprise that someone was   
staring at her.  
  
But, yet...  
  
Something felt...  
  
..._wrong_.  
  
She felt it again. Someone...no, some_thing_...was looking at her.   
Searching for her. Something less than human, something...feral. It   
had found her scent. And now, it was descending on her like the   
predator it was.  
  
She forced herself to remain calm, in spite of her accelerating pulse   
roaring in her ears. She knew better than to pass off these feelings   
as simple nervousness about the situation. She looked around again,   
trying to look casual and only partially succeding. She backed up a   
little, and almost had a heart attack as she bumped into something.  
  
"Oh!" came a voice behind her. Ariel turned quickly, seeing that it   
was Hikari.  
  
"Sorry about that," the brown-haired girl said in a shaky voice. "Just   
too crowded, that's all."  
  
"Something's wrong," Ariel said before she could stop herself. ^Idiot.   
Why should I tell them anything?^  
  
Hikari nodded. "Well, don't worry...it'll all be over soon."  
  
"No, no," Ariel said, shaking her head emphatically. She put her hands   
on Hikari's shoulders. "Something's gone wrong. We...we have to get   
out. _Now_." She found that she couldn't help but try warn the girl   
in front of her. Try as she might, she couldn't keep the emotional   
detachment she'd become accustomed to in the sea of LCL.  
  
"But, Ni-san, you're being silly."  
  
Even as Hikari said this, however, a radio crackled. A voice started   
barking out orders to the few American troops assigned to this bunker.   
Hikari couldn't understand, as the words were in English, but Ariel   
heard them loud and clear:  
  
"All units, target Gamma is out of control. Repeat, target Gamma is   
out of control. Evac all shelters. Move to quadrant three, under   
supporting fire. Repeat, evac..."  
  
Immediately, the troops got up, shouldering their machine guns and   
shouting to the crowd inside. "Everyone, listen up! We have to move,   
_now_!"  
  
Hikari blinked, and then her eyes widened a little. "Wh...what's   
happening?" Ariel didn't answer. Already, she could feel it. Through   
the background noise of the constant shaking, one sound was prominent:   
a single, powerful tremor, coming at regular intervals. Footsteps.  
  
"I don't know," Touji answered, from behind her. "But c'mon, let's get   
moving."  
  
"R...right." But still, Hikari looked questioningly at Ariel, who was   
now moving along with them.  
  
Hikari got a few more steps before she stopped dead, much to the   
annoyance of the people behind her.  
  
Touji tried tugging on her sleeve, but the girl wouldn't move.   
"Hikari? Hey, c'mon, we have to move."  
  
"T-Touji?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I...I...I..."  
  
"Look, we have to get moving, like the guys with the guns say. Can you   
tell me while we're leaving?"  
  
"I...I..."  
  
Touji paused, as well, feeling that something was wrong. "What?" he   
asked, concerned. "What's wrong, Hikari?"  
  
"Touji, I..." the girl swallowed. "...I think my water just broke."  
  
The boy blinked. "You...you're kidding."  
  
Hikari shook her head, oblivious to the people shuffling around them.   
"N-no, I..."  
  
She was interrupted by the sound of concrete splitting.  
  
As one, everyone in the shelter looked up, to see four giant holes   
appear in the far wall, each hole accomodating one gigantic finger. A   
large crack spread out from them, forming a circle of wall which pulled   
away. Outside, they could see a titanic foot, clad in blue armor.  
  
Even though they were all familiar with what this foot belonged to,   
some primal instinct still triggered in most of the people. Much like   
Ariel had some minutes before, they could detect that something was,   
well..._wrong_.  
  
Screams broke out in a thunderous wave, which was drowned out as the   
roof began to cave in. The people, already in the process of   
evacuating, charged towards the exit in a mass, shoving each other out   
of the way, trampling those who tripped, all to try and get another   
second of life. The slower ones met their fate, watching as the bunker   
collapsed onto their heads.  
  
Outside, people ran away in all directions, some of them screaming,   
others saving their breath to run. The pair of American soldiers that   
had made it out were backing away, watching shocked as the Eva stepped   
away from the crumpled bunker, and surveyed its work. One of them   
snapped, whipping his machine gun around and squeezing the trigger as   
soon as he was aimed in the general direction of the armored monster.   
His partner followed suit a moment later.  
  
Their bullets weren't even noticed. Instead of haphazardly destroying   
everyone in its way as it had moments earlier, it searched, looking   
through the rapidly dispersing crowd until its gaze locked on one   
person in particular. It started moving towards that person, its foot   
just barely missing the American soldiers.  
  
Behind it, the soldiers, having run out of ammo, watched helplessly as   
the thing continued on its rampage. One of them pulled out a radio and   
delivered a status report, while the other one looked behind them, at   
the bunker, before realzing that not everyone had gotten out.   
Immediately, he started digging through the rubble, his hands going   
bloody on the sharp rock, his blood mingling with what was already   
there. The other one joined in, both of them looking for anyone who   
might still be breathing.  
  
***  
  
She had never run so fast before in her short human life, she knew that   
much. Ariel's legs were pumping hard, sending her on a headlong   
sprint, through the abandoned encampment and among the shelters that   
had been people's homes until just now.  
  
It was coming for her. She could feel it behind her, watching her try   
to escape. Then, it began to move, one step after another.  
  
^Why do you run?^  
  
The voice sounded in her mind. Ariel blinked, but didn't let the   
distraction keep her from running.  
  
^Why do you run, Fifteenth? Do you not know what confronts you?^  
  
Its was a voice she knew well. Only this time, instead of the   
emotionless monotone she'd grown to expect from Zero, there was an   
undercurrent of hatred, of a bloodlust surpassing all belief, which   
would only be sated with her death.  
  
^Do you not remember that which destroyed you? It is futile to try to escape.^  
  
_It_ was gaining on her. Now, its footsteps were shaking the ground   
under her feet. She tripped, then caught herself, continuing on her   
sprint and trying not to notice the sounds of shelters crumbling behind   
her, carelessly brushed out of the way by the giant bent on destroying   
her.  
  
She was finally knocked off her feet, tumbling to the ground. But it   
had not been the Eva which had made the ground buck under her, this   
time. Rather, one of the American missile batteries had finally gotten   
into position, and its projectiles had just roared by, impacting on the   
AT field and exploding into fireballs. Unit-00 swayed from the   
inertia, but was otherwise unaffected. However, it slowed momentarily,   
turning its head to look at the launcher half a klick away and   
considering which target it would rather destroy first.  
  
It was long enough for Ariel to get back to her feet and start running   
again, though now her legs were burning and her breath was coming in   
gasps. She didn't know where she was running _to_, she just let her   
legs go where they wished, just to _get_away_.  
  
She felt another shiver, but different this time. She chanced a look   
over her shoulder. She'd meant for it to be a quick glance, but found   
she had to tear her eyes away from the sight after a few seconds, if   
she was going to keep running. For now, she had all the more reason to   
get away from that _thing_.  
  
Unit-00 hunched over, its hands clenching and its body quivering with   
some kind of collossal effort. Something began to give, groaning   
loudly before in finally cracked and broke.  
  
The large shoulder pauldrons of Unit-00 snapped off, falling to the   
ground in a shower of metal and wires and blood. The rest of the Eva   
contorted briefly, muscles rippling as they were finally freed from   
their restraints. On the arms, armor plating popped free, joining the   
rest of the mess on the ground. Revealed were bulging muscles, eerily   
human in appearance, from the shoulders almost down to the elbows.  
  
Something else creaked and gave way. The lower part of the armor   
encasing Unit-00's head snapped off, clanging off its foot and skidding   
to a halt. Bone creaked and flesh tore, as something pulled away. It   
was...  
  
...a jaw.  
  
Unit-00 had grown a mouth. Long and thin, and lined with pointed   
teeth, along with an incredibly long tongue that lolled about, running   
over the raw, bloody edge of the jaw and even over part of the casing   
remaining on its head.  
  
Breath hissed between its teeth. Its chest swelled suddenly, as it   
threw back its head and let out an earth-shattering roar, so loud that   
Ariel was very nearly deafend by it.   
  
It was all the girl could do to keep running.  
  
***  
  
"Christ..." Lewis cursed under his breath, watching the monitors. As   
far as he could tell, the Eva had figured out they were over here. It   
was already on its way, stomping towards the command tent. He didn't   
know _what_ the hell had just happened with the shedding armor bit, but   
he could guess that it wasn't good.  
  
He turned to look back at the command tent. Though most of the people   
there were still faithfully going about their tasks, they couldn't hide   
the lost looks on their faces when they looked to him, hoping for some   
kind of direction.  
  
He didn't bother asking Misato or the others to try and take command of   
the rampaging Eva. Just by the similar expressions on their faces, he   
knew it would be useless.   
  
"All right, everyone clear out of here," he ordered the people in the   
tent. "Take what you can carry, get to the trucks, and get moving."  
  
About one-third of the people immediately got up, grabbed some loose   
items around their workstations, and headed for the exit. The others,   
however, stayed put, with expressions ranging from nervousness to   
defiance.  
  
One of the latter stood up. "Sir, do you mean - " he tried to begin.  
  
Lewis turned on him, giving him a practiced, narrow-eyed stare he knew   
from experience could crush nearly anyone's confidence. Sure enough,   
the other man got quiet, real fast. He took a step back and swallowed,   
looking like he was going to say something else. Lewis' hand went to   
his hip.  
  
"I've given you an order," Lewis said before he could speak. He made   
sure to keep his voice cold. "Now I'm telling you one more time to get   
out."  
  
That was enough to get everyone else moving. The man who'd stood up   
was now rather white, and was one of the next people out the door.  
  
Lewis took his hand off of his gun and switched to Japanese.   
"Sometimes you have to be that way with them," he said, not looking   
behind himself. He could feel their stares on his back, and that was   
enough. "I just _had_ to go and bring rookies in here...they don't   
realize you're supposed to follow orders, without question."  
  
Now he turned, facing Misato and the handful of Japanese personnel.   
"But I recommend you get out of here, too." With that, he headed for   
the door.  
  
There was a flurry of activity behind him as the scene was repeated,   
albeit without the argument or the threats. People ran past him,   
heading for some of the cars and trucks parked nearby. The air filled   
with the sound of engines revving up, followed shortly by tires   
squealing.  
  
Lewis stopped, closing his eyes and clenching a fist. "Shit," he   
mumbled. "I'm just a damn idiot, that's all. Just a god-damned,   
_fucking_ idiot." He turned around, just in time to see Misato come   
jogging out of the tent. He tried very hard not to notice the form of   
Unit-00 approaching them all too rapidly. He wasn't entirely   
successful.  
  
"You," he said, pointing at the woman. "Yes, I know what you're going   
to say."  
  
Misato shook her head. "No, I understand. You can't help anyone if   
you're dead, right? To tell you the truth, I'd probably have cleared   
out sooner."  
  
^Thanks for the vote of confidence,^ Lewis thought sarcastically.   
"Anyway, can you drive?" The ground rumbled now, as Unit-00   
approached. He thought it looked at him.  
  
Misato cracked a grin. "I get by."  
  
Lewis didn't like the look of that grin, but he figured he'd have to   
put up with it. He dug around in his pocket and came out with the keys   
to his Land Rover.  
  
"Take it," he said, tossing her the keys. "Get everyone you can, and   
get out of here."  
  
Misato looked at the keys in her hand. "But, Major, what will - "  
  
"I know you're not under my command, Katsuragi," he interrupted her.   
"But _believe_ me, I'm _not_ in the mood to argue. Take it," he said,   
his hand going to his hip again, "or leave it."  
  
Misato's lips tightened a little at this, but then she mentally   
shrugged and ran to the waiting truck. At least the steering wheel was   
on the side she was used to. The truck's engine roared as she put the   
keys in.  
  
Lewis, however, did not try to get away.  
  
Cursing under his breath, he strode resolutely back into the now-vacant   
command tent. He continued his pace, even in the eerie silence of the   
room that had just recently been the site of so much activity. He went   
over to a communicator set up near one wall. He picked up the   
telephone-like receiver.  
  
Lewis pulled a scrap of paper out of one pocket. On it was a long   
string of numbers. Very carefully and deliberately, he started keying   
them into the communicator, the tones sounding clearly in the death-  
like silence of the tent, broken only by the distant crashes of the   
monster's footsteps.  
  
"God forgive me..." he mumbled, as the line 'clicked', registering an   
open connection.  
  
"Hello, it's..." he tried to begin. He stopped. He turned around,   
looking back out the tent flap. Out there, he could see almost   
everyone running away. But some had stopped and looked back. Some   
were instantly crushed, but others, the ones who'd gotten further away,   
not had an excellent view of the monster destroying their homes.  
  
Lewis' hand clenched into a fist, crushing the paper into a tight ball.   
  
"Hey, Major, how are you getting away..." came a familiar voice.   
Misato stepped back into the tent.  
  
The two looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. Then   
Lewis hung up the receiver, without looking.  
  
"What're you doing?" Misato asked, suspicious.  
  
"That's my line," he replied. "Why didn't you get away?"  
  
"Forgive me for being a little worried," Misato countered, defensively.   
"But if _I'm_ taking _your_ truck, how are you planning to escape?"  
  
Lewis hesitated. "I'll think of something," he said, quickly.   
"Now...get out. Get as far away as you can."  
  
"Why so?" Misato asked, her eyes narrowing.  
  
Lewis hesitated again, trying to think up a suitable answer. It was   
just then that tires shrieked and a Jeep skidding into view in front of   
the tent. A familiar redhead was in the driver's seat.  
  
"Misato!" Asuka shouted. "Misa...hey? Where's everyone?" Beside her   
in the passenger seat, Shinji was looking around quizzically, his   
expresion asking the same question.  
  
Misato answered without taking her eyes off of Lewis. "They're gone,"   
she said. "Everyone's trying to get clear."  
  
"Yeah, and they're the smart ones," Lewis added on, heading towards the   
tent flap. Misato stepped in front of him, blocking his path. But he   
just put one hand on her shoulder and moved her out of the way, not in   
the mood to even talk to her at the moment. He exited the tent and   
went up to the Jeep. "So what're you doing here?" he asked, sounding   
far too interested.  
  
"We came back to see if we could help out," Shinji explained.   
"But...did we come too late?"  
  
"Observant one, aren't you?" Lewis commented sarcastically. He turned   
his gaze on Asuka. "Now move it, girl, and let me in."  
  
"Oh, wait a minute," Asuka contested. "I can drive this thing - "  
  
"WAIT!" a near-hysterical voice screamed behind them. Asuka, Shinji,   
and Lewis all turned to see Ariel sprinting towards them.  
  
"Let me on!" she shouted.  
  
"All right, get in the back!" Asuka shouted back.  
  
Unit-00 was now almost upon them. The Jeep shook on its suspension   
almost continuously, with the huge footsteps coming from behind it.   
The command tent trembled, and a few small groups of people ran by,   
screaming or just trying to get away. Amidst the bedlam, Lewis saw his   
opportunity.  
  
He leaned over and hit the release for Asuka's seat belt. It retracted   
with a quick 'snap'. Just as the girl was turning her gaze towards   
him, he put one arm under her shoulders and another under her legs, and   
bodily _threw_ her out of the driver's seat, over the center console,   
and into the passenger seat, on top of Shinji.  
  
He swung into the Jeep, just Ariel made it up to them. She vaulted the   
rear bumper and collapsed into the back seat.   
  
"Believe me girl, this _isn't_ the time to argue with me," Lewis   
growled out, gunning the engine. He glanced out the window, to where   
Misato now stood in the entrance of the tent, glaring at him.  
  
"Get outta here, Katsuragi! You don't wanna hang around!" he shouted   
at her, just before he floored the gas pedal.  
  
The Jeep's tires spun for a heartbeat before finally finding purchase   
and launching them forwards. Everyone was thrown back in their seats,   
grabbing onto whatever was handy to try and steady themselves. The   
Jeep's engine screamed into the high RPM's, carrying them off. Lewis   
shifted hard, jerking them in their seats again as their speed   
increased.  
  
All of them, one after another, looked back. Sure enough, the deranged   
form of Unit-00 had taken notice of the truck.  
  
And now, it was coming for them.  
  
***  
  
^It is useless, Fifteenth.^  
  
^No.^ She refused. She could not, _would_ not, give up. For all its   
drawbacks, life as a lilum was infinitely preferable to death...or   
outright oblivion. Considering what was hunting her, total erasure   
from existence was a possibility she couldn't ignore.  
  
At the front of the truck, Lewis was driving like a man possessed. The   
gargantuan form of Unit-00 was closing them even as the Jeep bounced   
over the unpaved terrain at well over 100 kph, and still accelerating.   
Each bump sent Ariel flying, as she lacked the support of a seat belt.   
Asuka had the same problem, given her position.  
  
Asuka, however, was much more vocal about her discomfort. "You can't   
just shove me out of the way like some kid!" she was shouting at Lewis,   
who was doing such a good job ignoring her that it was conspicuous.   
"You don't have the right!" When the American didn't respond, she   
continued throwing curses at him. But she didn't try to physically   
back up her words, as she so very often did with Shinji. Even if she   
didn't say so, Asuka knew there would be time for that later, when they   
_weren't_ flying over the ground at a speed that could only be termed   
suicidal.  
  
But still, Asuka could not sit quietly. So instead, she turned towards   
her next target; specifically, the boy she was sitting on.  
  
"And don't _you_ go getting any funny ideas, baka Shinji!" she yelled   
to be heard over the Jeep's engine. "I better not feel anything   
rubbing against me!"  
  
Ariel had discovered that she was in a similar position. The back seat   
had been occupied when she'd jumped in, unfortunately. The limp,   
unconscious forms of both Kaoru and Rei were sprawled on the small rear   
seat, leaving her uncomfortably positioned on top of both of them.   
Ariel tried not to touch Rei; the mere thought of coming into contact   
with Zero sickened her. But the bouncing of the Jeep left her little   
say in the matter.  
  
Unit-00 was approaching. It didn't look like it was exerting itself at   
all to match their speed. Indeed, its newly-formed jaw almost seemed   
curled into a twisted grin of anticipation. It knew that it had them.   
It was just a matter of how long it wanted to let them run.  
  
"Speed up!" Asuka was shouting, now. "It's gaining!"  
  
"It's already floored!" Lewis shouted back. "We can't go any faster,   
not when we're hauling six people!"  
  
^I know who it wants,^ Ariel thought. ^I'm putting them all in danger.^  
  
Well, Zero she would just as soon let die with her, and Tabris too.   
But the other three...she found that she had some pang of guilt,   
thinking about the fate they would share with her. All because she'd   
wanted to try preserving her life a little bit, by jumping into   
something that could move, once her legs had refused to go any further.  
  
This was Zero's fault. It _had_ to be. Zero had done nothing but make   
her existence into hell, from the moment of her creation. Even before   
her commitment to the sea of souls, Zero had been there, to destroy   
her. And now, the bitch was going to finish the job.  
  
Ariel turned on Rei, who was still lying there, eyes closed, apparently   
asleep. She was having a hard time deciding which was the more   
fearsome monster at the moment; the blue giant that was now under a   
hundred meters from their rear bumper, or the albino girl lying   
placidly before her.  
  
Something got her attention: a faint sound, a moan. Tabris. He was   
turning, rolling over where he lay. His eyes cracked open, groggily.  
  
"You!" Ariel shouted, pouncing on him. "Wake up! Wake up, damn you!"  
  
Kaoru blinked, looking at her with glazed eyes. He let out another low   
groan.  
  
"WAKE UP!" Ariel screamed. She drew her hand back and slapped him,   
hard, on the cheek. Not enough. She hit him again. And again. And   
again. His head jerked back and forth, under her blows, until finally,   
his eyes snapped open. His hand shot up, grabbing her wrist as she   
tried to slap him again. He fixed her with the familiar burning stare,   
silencing her.  
  
Ariel now became aware of the noises behind her. Asuka and Shinji were   
both saying something, both asking what it was she was doing, probably.   
She could barely hear them over the breath of Unit-00, which was now so   
close it seemed she could touch it.  
  
Kaoru looked up, at the demonic form of Unit-00 descending on them.   
Without a word, he threw Ariel off of him and righted himself, standing   
up on his knees in the Jeep's seat. Steadying himself with one hand on   
the roll bar, he held his other hand out towards the Eva, as though he   
actually _did_ intend to touch it.  
  
Unit-00 continued towards them. Now, it reached out its hand,   
mimicking Kaoru. The boy began breathing harder, his brow furrowing   
with the effort of what he was trying to do. Unit-00's fingers hung   
over them. Ariel backed away reflexively, falling down in between the   
seats and getting stuck. She was helpless, only able to watch, as the   
blue hand came down on her.  
  
Then, Unit-00 stopped.  
  
The blue fingers shot backwards as the Eva stopped short. They clipped   
the spare tire, ripping off the whole tailgate and making the Jeep jerk   
sideways in a heart-stopping lurch. By some miracle, Lewis was able to   
keep them from flipping over, slamming on the brakes and fighting with   
the wheel. They fishtailed, then went into a spin over the dusty   
terrain, finally crashing to a halt after several complete revolutions.  
  
The Eva was now in front of them, several hundred meters away. It   
stumbled, trying to take a few more steps. It stretched its arm   
towards the Jeep that was now out of its reach. It tripped and fell to   
its knees, shaking the Jeep on its suspension with the crash. It kept   
reaching for them, trying now to crawl forward with one arm as its   
other hand still stretched towards them. Finally, though, it slumped,   
its head plowing into the ground and its outstretched arm finally going   
limp.  
  
But, even as the Eva fell still, Ariel heard its last call.  
  
^Consider yourself lucky, Fifteenth. You have not avoided fate.   
Merely delayed it.^  
  
No one dared speak, for several long heartbeats. Kaoru, it turned out,   
was the first to break the stunned silence.  
  
"Sorry," he said, a rare word coming from him. He took a minute to try   
and catch his breath. "I couldn't control the Eva directly. But..." -   
another gasp for breath - "it turns out I was...able to cut its link to   
the S2 engine. It still...fought a bit, though."  
  
Lewis just grunted out a halfhearted reply, vaguely in the affirmative.   
No one else said anything.  
  
"But I believe we should be heading back," Kaoru said. "Rei...needs to   
see a doctor, and I..." he didn't finish. His eyes were already   
closing again. He slumped in the seat.  
  
Another affirmative grunt from Lewis. They didn't move for a few   
minutes, before the man finally shook it off and got them going, giving   
the fallen machine a very wide berth as the headed back.  
  
Asuka looked back, at Ariel, who was still jammed between the seats.   
"Are you OK?" she asked. Her eyes looked up a little, and she smiled,   
just a bit. "I guess you're not. But I guess I can't blame you, huh?"  
  
Ariel looked up to where Asuka had been looking. She saw a large wet   
spot on the seat, mirrored by a similar moist spot soaking through her   
pants. She hadn't even noticed...  
  
"I'll be all right," she finally said. "Just...give me some time."  
  
"I think we'll all need some time," Asuka said, quietly. Then she   
looked back to Shinji. "And you, don't you go getting ideas. I don't   
do lap dances. Often."  
  
***  
  
He stirred in bed, rolling over before groggily opening his eyes.  
  
"Sempai, he's waking up."  
  
"Good. Just run a quick check on him. He just needs some rest."  
  
Maya held up a hand. "How many fingers am I holding up, Nagisa-san?"  
  
His red eyes struggled to focus. "Four," he slurred out, a few seconds   
later.  
  
Maya looked at the two fingers she'd been holding up, as though to make   
sure _she_ wasn't the one seeing things. "Uh...right," she said,   
slowly. "Sempai's got it, I think. You need some rest."  
  
"Your..." he tried to say. Maya, who'd been turning away, stopped and   
looked back.  
  
Kaoru swallowed. "Your...fingers." He blinked, and for a moment   
looked fully awake. "What...what happened to them? They're   
all...red."  
  
Maya again looked at her fingers. As Kaoru had noted, her hand was   
bloody, with multiple cuts and scrapes. Her other hand, however, was   
still sealed in a tight-fitting leather glove, the condition of its   
skin hidden from the world. The woman had taken to wearing it every   
day now.  
  
"Well..." she said, then paused, looking at him.  
  
"I _know_ I should be sleeping," he replied, sounding almost angry.   
"But...tell me, Maya-san. I'm interested."  
  
"Well...Unit-00 went berserk" she answered. "The Dummy Plug   
activated."  
  
Kaoru nodded knowingly. "Yes..."  
  
"And, well...a lot of people got hurt. We had to dig a bunch of them   
out of the rubble. Everyone...everyone helped."  
  
Kaoru again nodded. "That is...encouraging, I suppose."  
  
Maya tried to smile. "It isn't as bad as we...well, it could have been   
worse, I guess."  
  
Kaoru blinked again. He thought he could see wetness on the woman's   
cheeks, but through the blur that had settled into his vision, he   
couldn't be sure.  
  
A small cry to his side got his attention. Kaoru turned his head. It   
was a sound he'd known he should hear, but yet in his state, it caught   
him off guard. A low moaning, one of utter and complete despair.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Maya said, remembering. "Sorry, we had to group you in   
here with Horaki-san and a few others. There isn't enough room in the   
tents for everyone."  
  
"Oh..." he said, dazedly. "Don't tell me I'm...sitting in here, when   
someone's outside who...needs your attentions more than I." To this,   
Maya said nothing. Kaoru had the distinct impression that that _was_   
indeed the case. But he could sense that an argument would be a waste   
of what precious little energy he had to spare.  
  
"What...happened?" he asked, still looking at the Hikari-colored blur   
not far from him. The girl looked like she was slowly rocking back   
and forth.  
  
"Well..." Maya tried to begin. But then there was a brief choked   
sound, and one hand went to her mouth. "It can wait," she said   
quickly. "I...I'm sorry. It's like you said. There's other people I   
need to see."  
  
"What about Suzuhara?" Kaoru asked the woman's back as she left,   
feeling his focus starting to return. He thought about sitting up, but   
he didn't try it, just yet. Maya ventured no response to his question.   
She just slipped out of the room.  
  
He closed his eyes, trying to conserve his strength. But he couldn't   
concentrate. He kept hearing the low, strained sounds come from Hikari,  
no matter how much the girl tried to hold them in.  
  
"I suppose I could answer your question," came another familiar voice.   
One he'd have preferred not to hear. Kaoru wearily turned his head, to   
see the white-haired form sitting next to his bed.  
  
"Suzuhara covered her when the walls caved in," Ariel explained,   
without prompting. "That's why Horaki got out all ri..." she seemed to   
catch herself. "Well, why she's here."  
  
"Is he - " Kaoru tried to ask. He was interrupted by the sounds of an   
argument outside the door. There were several raised voices, growing   
louder by the second, until finally Ritsuko's voice said that it was   
all right. Moments later, Touji walked - well, more like limped - in   
through the entrance.  
  
Kaoru could see the boy was heavily favoring one leg, and one of his   
hands was wrapped in a ball of bandages. His head was also bandaged,   
but his eyes were clear. The dark-skinned boy looked over to Hikari.   
Neither said anything. He just headed over to her and took her up in   
his arms. Kaoru could hear the sound of both of them sobbing. It   
sounded like they'd been holding it in for quite some time, now.  
  
"So he is well, I suppose," Kaoru whispered. "But then, why..."  
  
"Well, there were complications, so to speak," Ariel said, answering   
him before he could even formulate the question. She paused, looking   
at his quizzical expression. "Figure it out, you...I believe the word   
is 'baka'," she finished.  
  
Kaoru's mind tried to churn through the problem. It was difficult, as   
his thought processes were still a little muddied. So Hikari was here,   
obviously. Toji had gotten out alive, if nothing else. So they were   
all right, even after that stressful time. Well, stress could cause   
people to break down.  
  
It could also...  
  
"Oh...no..." Kaoru said, slowly, looking back at Ariel. The girl just   
looked at him, nodding slightly. It might have just been because of   
his injury, but he thought he could see real sadness around her eyes,   
leaking out even through her commendable self-control.  
  
"No...no..." Kaoru said, shaking his head.  
  
"Quiet," Ariel said sharply, cutting him off. "You sound like Horaki   
did." She lowered her voice and leaned in a little closer. Kaoru   
closed his eyes, trying to block out the sounds coming from the next   
bed. Now, Hikari was just sobbing continuously, loudly. Toji was   
trying to sound comforting, but he too sounded like he was about to   
shatter.  
  
"They were buried, the two of them. Well, three of them I suppose,"   
Ariel explained to him. "Unfortunately, Horaki had gone into labor.   
The stress triggered it, I believe. Given their situation, it's no   
wonder it didn't survive."  
  
Kaoru said nothing. He just tried to breathe.  
  
"They're saying it may have been a stillborn," Ariel continued. "If   
that were the case, then even with the best conditions, there was   
nothing that could have been - "  
  
"Stop," Kaoru cut her off. "Just stop, Ariel-san. You've said more   
than enough. And this isn't the time or place for this conversation."   
^Not while they're here,^ he mentally added on. ^Not while they can   
hear us.^ He was sure they'd heard everything he and Ariel had said so   
far, no matter how much they hadn't wanted to.  
  
"I have to leave," he said, finally. "Ariel..." he paused to take a   
breath. "Help me up."  
  
The girl just stared at him for a long moment, then rolled her eyes and   
put her arm under his shoulders.  
  
Vertigo nearly overwhelmed Kaoru as he stood. He had to lean on Ariel   
heavily to keep from crashing to the ground. He only noticed now that   
the girl was surprisingly strong.  
  
Ariel half-carried, half-dragged him out of the room. It was another   
tent, Kaoru saw as his vision began to clear again. They got   
outside, the sudden flash of sunlight blinding him as they continued   
forwards, trying to get away from the couple in the tent.   
  
Ariel kept walking, getting them a respectable distance from the tent   
before lowering Kaoru to the ground again, leaving him in a sitting   
position. Then she knelt down next to him. Why she wasn't leaving   
him, he didn't know. At least now he couldn't hear Hikari.  
  
"You've no idea how much I'm enjoying this," Ariel said, coldly.   
"How's it feel, Kaoru?"  
  
Kaoru looked at her, unbelievingly. "Are you completely heartless?" he   
asked. "You...no, _everyone_ is lucky to be alive. And now that   
Horaki-san has..."  
  
Ariel waved it away. "You are wrong to call me heartless, Tabris," she   
said, using his real name again. "I am simply more careful in choosing   
who I display weakness to."  
  
"I doubt anyone would call Horaki or Suzuhara weak, under the   
conditions," Kaoru said, angrily. Had he posessed the strength, he would   
have struck her. ^And she knows I can't,^ he concluded. ^How does it   
feel, she asks. To be helpless...^  
  
"Sometimes, it is right to cry," Kaoru continued. "It is what makes you   
human."  
  
"Perhaps," Ariel responded nebulously. "Yet this was an opportunity I   
could not throw away. I wanted to memorize how you looked, when you   
woke up here. It was worth the wait." She paused. "Now I have some   
idea of how you must feel normally, when you're dealing with a   
powerless outcast like me."  
  
Kaoru waited. If he ignored her, perhaps she would go away. Also,   
this was probably something that it would be best for Ariel to get out   
of her system now, instead of later at a less convenient time. But   
yet...she wasn't leaving. She was just squatting there, looking at   
him.  
  
"Did you - " he tried to ask.  
  
"I had nothing to do with it," Ariel said, at the same time. She   
paused, a little caught off-guard. Then she leaned in a little closer,   
lowering her voice. "Believe what you will," she said. "But I can say   
that I had nothing to do with you losing control over your...machine."  
  
Kaoru listened to her. Not just to her words, but to her tone of   
voice. There was hatred in there, that much was obvious. But, under   
that...there was a tone of honesty. He nodded slightly, at this. He   
had no reason to distrust the girl's words, at least for now.  
  
"All right then," he said, also quietly. "I assume it remained   
deactivated, then?"  
  
Ariel nodded once, sharply. "Yes. I suppose shutting it down was the   
best you could do. At least the tactic worked."  
  
Kaoru blinked. "You're welcome."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You're welcome." He cocked his head to one side, a little. "You came   
here to say that, too, didn't you? Next time, a simple 'thank you'   
will likely work better."  
  
Ariel stiffened a little, then stood up quickly, turning her back on him.   
"I had no such intention," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"Whatever you say," he answered, knowingly. He watched the girl   
bristle at his comment. He chanced a quick look around himself. He   
still couldn't see very well, but from the sounds around him, he didn't   
want to see what surrounded him, at least not yet. "Where's Rei?" he   
asked, finally.  
  
"She was moved to a separate tent," Ariel answered. "I believe Shinji-  
kun was going to see if she'd awakened, yet."  
  
Kaoru thought about that, then his breath caught. "That cannot...it   
would not be a good idea for him to see her," he said, trying to stand   
up, and watching the world vanish in a wave of dizziness.  
  
A firm pressure, courtesy of Ariel's hand on his shoulder, pressed him   
back down to the ground. "Rest for now, Kaoru," she said, her voice   
sending a small chill up his spine. "You'll have ample time to see her   
later."  
  
Kaoru tried to move away, his limbs feeling like rubber. The small   
voice in the back of his mind, the one telling him that even if he   
could summon the strength to get out of the bed, there was no way he'd   
be able to actually walk anywhere, was finally heard. And he admitted   
defeat.  
  
^I'm sorry, Rei.^  
  
***  
  
She stirred in bed, rolling over before her eyes snapped open, wide and   
alert.  
  
She sat up, her crimson eyes scanning slowly around her. She was   
sitting on a bed, in one of the many olive-green tents. And she was   
alone.  
  
She felt a momentary pang at this. Some part of her struggled against   
the onset of the old, familiar apathy. Something was saying that it   
did not desire to be alone. That, now more than ever, she had to be   
reminded that someone other than herself existed in this world.  
  
Then, the feeling passed. And, just like it had always been, like how   
it _should_ be, she was no longer bothered by the vacancy of the room   
around her. She did not desire an end to the oppressive emptiness.   
Indeed, she could be said to not 'desire' anything at all.  
  
But this feeling, of unfeeling, eternal patience, was interrupted. She   
turned a cold pair of eyes on the tent flap, as someone walked in with   
her. She recognized the visitor, but that rarely meant anything. She   
recognized most of the people around her. But this one...something   
made her vocalize her recognition of him.  
  
"Ikari." A simple enough phrase. Sufficient for the task of simple   
acknowledgement.  
  
The boy said nothing. There were no chairs, so he did not sit. He   
just walked a little further into the tent, his eyes on her. Some   
memory tried to awaken in her at this. Something...about being in a   
similar position, with this boy. Only with their places reversed. Him   
in the bed, and her standing over him, watching.  
  
"You're awake," he said. Another simple phrase. She did not bother   
with acknowledgement. There was no need to confirm the obvious.  
  
She blinked, once, watching him. Something about his manner   
was...different. Unfamiliar to her. His movements were stiff, his   
voice cold. His hands trembled occasionally, their fingers twitching   
towards becoming fists. It must have been painful for him to do so, as   
both his hands were bandaged. Some of the visible skin appeared   
burned, but by what she didn't know. Again, this seemed so familiar to   
her, and at the same time so different.  
  
He waited there, for a long time. Maybe minutes, maybe hours. She   
looked at him. He was pacing back and forth, slowly, his mood still   
the same as when he'd come in. Now that he was closer, she could see   
his face was tight, but at the same time his eyes showed fatigue. It   
was as though the only thing keeping him on his feet was the unyielding   
drive towards...what? Something she could not fathom. Perhaps he was   
waiting for her to say something. If so, then what?  
  
"Did you..." he began hoarsely. Then he swallowed, finding some   
moisture in his mouth. "Did you do it?"  
  
Silence was her only reply. ^Do what?^  
  
"I don't know...I don't know what to believe right now, Ayanami," he   
continued, as though he'd heard her mental reply. "I know what I saw,   
and...what happened. But I know what I told you, too. I told   
you...never. Never ever, do that."  
  
^Do _what_?^  
  
"I just...I just can't figure out any other explanation," he said,   
holding his hands in front of him as though trying to physically grab   
the answer out of the air. "Just...just..."  
  
He turned to face her, for the first time since after he'd come in.   
She could see the tears building behind his eyes. Those caught her by   
surprise even more than the next word out of his mouth:  
  
"_Why?_" he asked, his voice carrying a hint of desperation. "Why   
would you...why would..._why?_"  
  
Feeling that her body was in adequate health, she moved, getting out of   
the bed. Shinji looked, for a moment, as though he were going to run.   
But, he held himself back, through an effort of will.  
  
"I do not understand," she said, looking at him briefly. "What do you   
ask, Ikari?"  
  
He shook his head. "Don't you remember?"  
  
She blinked. Her memory...  
  
She could remember nearly everything she'd ever experienced with   
perfect clarity. But, now...there was a haze over her mind. The   
events of the past several hours had vanished from her memory, stolen   
from her by some force she could not understand. Or, perhaps...   
repressed by her own mind, in an effort to preserve itself.  
  
She shook her head.  
  
Shinji shuddered with the effort of some internal battle. He turned   
away from her, and strode over to the tent flap. "Come here," he said,   
coldly. She did as she was told.  
  
He said nothing as she approached. He simply pulled the tent flap   
aside.  
  
And outside, there was nothing but destruction.  
  
Ramshackle buildings lay strewn over the ground, reduced to mere   
pebbles. A few scraps of metal signified where there might have once   
been a truck, or even a proud tank. Smoke billowed from the remains of   
some more other vehicle, which lay overturned and smoldering atop a   
pile of rubble. And through it all, the stench of death, accompanied   
by darkening pools of what could only be blood, collecting on the   
ground like rain after a storm.  
  
She blinked, her eyes taking it all in and her mind processing it with   
the same efficiency with which it absorbed everything. But again, she   
felt something, some pang, of an emotion she did not understand and   
knew that she never would be able to. But yet, even if comprehension   
eluded her, she was aware that suddenly she was sick to her stomach.   
She gave no outward sign of this, however.  
  
"Did you do this?" Shinji asked. "Even after I told you?" She turned   
her head, to see that he was now looking at her directly, unblinkingly.   
"Did you unleash the Eva? Did you tell it to do this?"  
  
She did not answer, again. She just looked back out of the entrance,   
back at the chaos beyond. She could almost feel it...the presence of   
that other being, stronger than any of the feeble beings outside. It   
felt...contented.  
  
"_Why?_" he asked, again. "Didn't you know? _Didn't_ you?" his voice   
was rising. She again looked to him, the feeling of apprehension   
growing within her. She unconsciously took a step away from him."  
  
"These...these people, they _trusted_ you," he said. "_I_ trusted you.   
And you had to...to go...to go and..." he finished by gesturing in the   
general direction of the tent flap. "_Why?_"  
  
Before she could answer, he was continuing. "These people worked.   
They worked so hard to live again, Rei. They abandoned paradise, their   
perfect world, to come..._here_. And they worked. For _two_years_, to   
make life better. Now it's all gone, because of you. It's all   
smashed, back to dust. We're right back where we started. It just   
took five minutes, and we're back to the beginning. So..." he took a   
step towards her. "_Why?_"  
  
He seemed to be waiting for her to say something. "I..." she tried to   
say. Something twinged in her at the use of her first name. She   
ignored it. "I was in a battle," she said. "And the enemy..."  
  
"Hikari's lucky to even be alive," Shinji was continuing. "She went   
into labor because of all this. And now, she...she..." He closed his   
eyes and clenched his bandaged fists. Rei saw several drops squeeze out   
from between his eyelids, splashing into small puddles in the dirt under   
their feet. The open display of emotion intrigued her, briefly.  
  
Rei was listening, but at the same time trying to continue her thought.   
"I defeated the enemy..."  
  
"Yes, you defeated the enemy," he said, his voice shaking. "You   
destroyed everything, but you won. That's all that matters, right?"  
  
She could not think of an answer for several moments. Then:  
  
"It is my purpose."  
  
A half-second later, she found she was looking to the side.   
Interesting, she hadn't meant to turn her head...  
  
And then she heard the sound, of flesh hitting flesh. And then,   
moments later, the pain hit. A stinging, burning sensation in her   
cheek.  
  
Shinji clenched his hand, as though to try and stay it from striking   
her again. "You..." he muttered. "You just don't _care_, do you? You   
haven't changed at all. You only care about ending life, don't you?"   
His voice trembled, with the effort of containing the explosion of   
emotion that was roiling about inside of him.  
  
And then, Rei looked at him.  
  
And then, all the rage, the frustration, the desire to just know _why_,   
vanished within him.  
  
Because before him, there stood something more frightening even than   
the view of the transformed Unit-00 bearing down upon him, hand   
outstretched to squeeze the life from his fragile body. He was looking   
at two crimson orbs, which regarded him with a dead, burning stare that   
seemed to bore straight through to his soul, and which could see that   
he was afraid.  
  
Her posture was the same as it had been just a moment ago. Even her   
expression was the same placid, emotionless mask. But the eyes...they   
regarded him with such utter, unrestrained intensity that he stepped   
back.  
  
One step became many. And then, he was at the entrance. And then, she   
had vanished from his sight, because he had turned, and he had run.  
  
He ran until he was out of breath. He did not look back once.  
  
Because he knew that, if he had, he would be dead.  
  
***  
  
Misato made her way across the American camp, making very sure not to   
look at the people around her. It was a trained reflex, and a rather   
effective one at that. She knew if she actually _thought_ about the   
carnage around her, that she might break down. There'd be time for   
that later, _after_ she'd gotten this...matter...out of the way.  
  
Her hands were cut and bruised, from where she'd helped dig out the few   
survivors that had been trapped under the rubble of the shelters.   
Already, there were dead bodies lined up on the ground outside of these   
ruins, and more kept coming with every minute they spent digging. Five   
dead for every one living...you couldn't think about what you were   
looking at, what you were doing, if you valued your sanity.  
  
She'd finally had to step away from the work. Actually, it had been   
more like Shigeru had _dragged_ her away from it. She could have kept   
at it for a few more minutes, she knew. Just until she collapsed, that   
was all. And then she'd have dug some more. Shigeru now had a   
stinging welt on his cheek, for which Misato already felt guilty.   
She'd been angry and frustrated and...well, she'd apologize tomorrow,   
when she wasn't so worried she'd just slap the man again, for taking   
her away from the people who needed her help.  
  
Then this had come up. Her mind had cleared enough to remember what   
she'd seen just before the Eva had gone off after Lewis and the others.   
She'd asked around, and found that the ungrateful bastard was sitting   
around in his tent, of all places. Was he content to just _watch_ them   
try to pull out their dead and dying? This was his home too, at least   
temporarily.  
  
Kensuke had warned her that even he'd been turned away from trying to   
see Lewis. Apparently, the Major hadn't wanted to see anyone. Misato   
didn't care. This had to be done, she knew.  
  
But yet, for all the warnings, she found her way into Lewis' tent   
without much trouble. No one was standing guard. Inside, she found   
him, sitting in a chair and playing darts with knives again.  
  
"Hello," she said, stiffly. At least in here she didn't have to   
pretend not to see what was right in front of her. She still had to   
avoid thinking, though. Lewis might be doing the same thing, but at   
the moment it looked like he just didn't care. Misato clenched a fist.  
  
"Hey," he said back, not looking. He picked through the knives lying   
next to him, finding one he liked. He then took a swing from a bottle   
of...something, in his other hand. It wasn't a simple beer. Misato   
could tell just from the smell of the tent.  
  
"Is _that_ how you handle things?" she asked.  
  
"Some things," he answered, still not looking at her. He threw the   
knife, missing the dart board completely. He cursed and took another   
drink. "Things like getting promoted."  
  
"Really?" Misato asked, now getting a little angrier. "Do I have to   
call you General, now?" ^Like hell I will.^  
  
Lewis shook his head somberly. "That's a little too high," he said.   
"And it's nothin' concrete yet. They just say they might promote me,   
for my...what the hell was it...'admirable conduct' in that last mess."  
  
"Yes, about that - " Misato tried to begin.  
  
"Before you start pulling my teeth or gouging my eyes out or whatever   
else it is you had planned, I'm sorry," he said, firmly. He paused,   
letting that sink in. "I know I had no right to put your kids in   
danger like that. I'm sorry." No excuses. No 'I had to do it', not   
even 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'. Just an apology.  
  
"And the reason I'm in here instead of out there ripping up my hands,"   
he said, throwing a glance at Misato's hands, "is that I know right now   
they'll call me a hero, or something."  
  
Misato's fist tightened. "Yes," she said, quietly. "They're saying   
you saved everyone, with your 'brave plan', or something else."  
  
"Glad to hear not everyone agrees," Lewis answered, hearing the tone in   
her voice. "And you're right, I don't deserve it."  
  
"I never said - "  
  
"You didn't have to. All was was doing was savin' my own ass. It was   
just coincidence that that...thing, robot, whatever-it-was, stopped   
while I was doin' it. You want any of this?" he asked, holding the   
bottle out to the side without looking at her.  
  
Misato's fist relaxed. "You're one lucky guy, you know. That you're   
even still breathing, after a stunt like that."  
  
Lewis paused. He carefully put down the knife he'd been holding. "I   
know," he said, quietly. "I know all too well. Look over there," he   
said, pointing to a table. Misato did as she was told, finding a sheet   
of paper lying on top. On it were two long columns of small-print   
text. It was a list of names.  
  
"Are these...?" she asked, not wanting to finish the sentence.  
  
Lewis nodded. "The names of the men under my command, who aren't as   
lucky as me," he said. "Funny, isn't it?" he asked, not smiling. "I   
go and get that many people killed, and the brass _rewards_ me.   
Promotes me, gives me more guns...guess that's standard procedure,   
nowadays. Reward the ones who live. I got a whole stack of promotions   
to hand out to the men who survived, you know," he continued. "Wonder   
how they'll take it."  
  
Misato went quiet, and - against her better judgement - thought.   
Lewis, for his part, went back to throwing knives at the dart board.   
Finally, though, Misato spoke up.  
  
"Major..."  
  
"What?" he asked, curtly. He flung another knife, to where it thunked   
into the board.  
  
"I heard you talking on the radio. You had Unit-00 tagged as a   
separate target, even before the battle started, didn't you?"  
  
"Don't act surprised." He took another drink. "That's also standard   
procedure."  
  
"I guess I can't fault you for it...since you needed to target it,   
anyway. But..."  
  
Lewis didn't take the bait, asking what it was. He just took another   
drink and threw another knife. Fling. Thunk.  
  
Misato continued. "When I walked in on you back there...when you were   
alone in the tent, talking on the phone..."  
  
"Don't bother asking."  
  
"...what were you doing?"  
  
"I said don't bother. It's classified." Fling. Thunk. Drink.  
  
"Why'd you tell me to get as far away as I could? I'd have done better   
just finding some place to hide, if it was just the Eva we had to worry   
about."  
  
"..."  
  
"What were you going to do?"  
  
"Katsuragi, I can't tell you." He stood up, and offered her the   
bottle. "Look, you've had a rough day, and - "  
  
Misato smacked the bottle out of his hand, to where it shattered on the   
ground a few meters away. "I have a right to know!" she shouted into   
his face.  
  
"No. You _don't_." He turned his back on Misato, flinging one last   
knife at the board. It hit very close to the center. Then he looked   
back to her. "I couldn't tell you, no matter what you might think you   
could do to me," he said.  
  
Misato finally nodded. "All right," she admitted, grudgingly. Even   
with most of a bottle of liquor in him, the man still had a few dozen   
kilos on her, and the rational part of her mind was telling her this   
was not the time to be getting into fights.  
  
"Hang on," he said, as she turned to leave. "I've got something to   
show you."  
  
Silence, except for the shuffling as Misato turned around. Lewis   
headed towards the back of the tent, as Misato took a deep breath and   
let it out slowly.  
  
"You remember I sent out scouts," he said, as he found what he was   
looking for: a large, canvas-covered object on a card table. He   
shrugged off the alcohol-induced fatigue and brushed off some of the   
junk that had collected on top of the canvas.  
  
"Yes, of course."  
  
"Well, they found something," he said. "Even though they were out   
looking for those...those..._things_," he said, shaking his head in   
frustration. "...they still found some things. Turns out there were   
some ruins that had opened up a little more since last we checked."  
  
"Really?" Misato asked. She headed over, as Lewis beckoned. "What did   
you find?"  
  
Lewis paused. One corner of his mouth went tight, as he thought   
something over. "Look, I dunno any way to make this any easier, so   
I'll just show you," he said, reaching for the corner of the canvas.   
  
"We searched the ruins," he said. He started to pull back the canvas.   
There was something metal under it.  
  
"We found something big, some kind of underground installation" he   
said. "Something you people might recognize."  
  
It wasn't just metal, it was some kind of symbol, like a shield or   
something.  
  
"And stuff like this thing was everywhere," he said, pulling the canvas   
away entirely. "Does this look familiar to you?"  
  
Misato's eyes widened, as she looked. Her breathing accelerated, as   
did her heartbeat. She said nothing. But then again, nothing needed   
to be said. Lewis saw the answer in her face.  
  
"Care to have some of this?" he asked, pulling up a fresh bottle of   
whatever it was he'd been drinking.  
  
Misato nodded mutely.  
  
They both stepped away, popping open the bottle of liquor. Behind   
them, the shield-like symbol glared defiantly towards their backs,   
displaying its message for all to see:  
  
God's in His Heaven, and All's Right With the World.  
  
N E R V  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Endnote: Before you can e-mail me to tell me so, yes I am an evil,   
sadistic bastard. I am probably mentally ill, too. Welcome to Eva.  
  
BWA HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
Ahem. Anyway, This chapter encounterd a significant delay due to   
prereader difficulties and, of course, school restarting. Ugh. In any   
case, know that I'm definitely going to stay with this story. It's   
just getting good. ^_^  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
Started: July 9, 2002  
Version 1 Ended: July 31, 2002  
Version 2 Ended: August 5, 2002  
Version 3 Ended: August 6, 2002  
Version 4 Ended: September 19, 2002  
  
Thanks go to the Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai, and Judging   
Eagle for prereading.  
  
My site can be located at   
http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/shinjirei/index.html AND   
http://www.geocities.com/otakusadist/index.html.  
  
My e-mail address is still otakusadist@hotmail.com. 


	19. Chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
  
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
  
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
  
^ ^ = thoughts  
  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
  
Chapter 15: Finding Your Way Home  
  
They say that war is hell. Kaoru wasn't sure if that would apply. Up   
  
until now, he'd thought the best definition of hell was what most of   
  
his brethren were still confined to: exiled from life, from physical   
  
existence. They were condemned to watch others emerge victorious from   
  
eternity, choosing to take reality over dreams; a choice they   
  
themselves were never supposed to have had.  
  
He was still trying to figure out which was the better definition of   
  
torment: the eternal inactivity into which the Angels had been sealed,   
  
or...this.  
  
Everywhere he looked, there was destruction. Shelters, supplies,   
  
trucks, people, even the ground itself...all crushed. Everything that   
  
had made this place into a home, things that had stood strong against   
  
the elements for over two years, all gone. Flattened under the raw   
  
force of a berserk machine-monster, all in the space of a few minutes.  
  
Some people were still in shock, incapable of moving to help, or even   
  
to eat, as their minds tried in vain to process what they beheld in   
  
front of them. Others were still trying to save what they could from   
  
the ruins, pulling out small items, bits of food, and above all,   
  
bodies.  
  
Yes, bodies. The death toll for the latest battle was still going up,   
  
several days after the fact. A nearby field had been cleared of rubble   
  
by a few bulldozers, so that the dead could be laid out and identified.   
  
The bodies kept accumulating, most thankfully hidden under tarps or   
  
bits of cloth, so that those still alive wouldn't have to see what   
  
they'd lost.  
  
He felt less than heard someone come up behind him. "You're becoming   
  
accustomed to your new form," he said, without looking.  
  
"What makes you say that?" she asked, as she came up and stood next to   
  
him. Kaoru remained sitting on the ground.  
  
"I barely heard you approach."  
  
"Ah."  
  
They remained in silence for a bit longer. She was the first to speak   
  
again:  
  
"I thought of what I'm going to put on the marker for the latest of the   
  
fallen."  
  
"Really?" he asked, quietly. "What is it?"  
  
"Something like, 'whose newfound strength could not allay his weakness   
  
in spirit.'"  
  
"Not simply a name, this time?"  
  
"As it seems my brethren are intent on continuing this farce, it is   
  
only right I give them some respect in death."  
  
"They are my brethren as well, Ariel-san."  
  
A discontented 'hmph' for a response. Then: "Matarael was a fool,"   
  
said under her breath.  
  
"Perhaps," Kaoru commented. A pause to think. "But then again, are we   
  
not _all_ fools? I myself thought that Unit-00 could be controlled.   
  
My mistake has cost so many lives."  
  
"Do not attempt to martyr yourself, Tabris," she said, warningly. "I   
  
detest those who try to shoulder responsibility for everyone."  
  
"I didn't know you cared," he said, his voice not quite playful. "But   
  
it is no less wrong for others to place all the blame on one person."   
  
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. He saw her clench a   
  
fist.  
  
"I will not let you anger me this time," she said, icily. "You may   
  
blame yourself, if you wish. But in my mind, I _know_ who is truly at   
  
fault."  
  
He let out a slow sigh, shaking his head. Another brief silence   
  
passed. "And to what do I owe the honor of your visit, now?"  
  
"I knew you would wish to talk with me," she said. "You want to know   
  
what I know."  
  
"I suppose."  
  
"You 'suppose' nothing, Tabris," she said angrily. She took a moment   
  
to catch her breath and compose herself. "I can tell you little of   
  
what is going on inside of the Room of Gauf, as there is a force at   
  
work there...which I could not withstand." The girl's fidgeting did   
  
not go unnoticed by Kaoru's narrowing eyes. "I can only assume that   
  
the others will continue in this foolishness."  
  
He thought it over. "And this...'force' which you fear," he began. He   
  
saw her twitch a little at the word 'fear'. "Will I have the   
  
opportunity to encounter it for myself, or shall I take your word for   
  
it?"  
  
"Perhaps so...I'm not sure. I'd like nothing more than to stop this,   
  
believe me. I'd prefer to be stuck back in my cell than to watch my   
  
brethren throwing their lives...no, their _souls_ away. But at the   
  
moment, I don't know how."  
  
"You could attempt to confront that which awaits you in the Room of   
  
Gauf," he suggested. "If you were successful, you'd accomplish what   
  
you desire."  
  
"Likely at the cost of my own life." Another sigh. "I don't intend to   
  
be a martyr, Tabris. I can do more by staying alive."  
  
"I suppose." He grinned a little as he saw her bristle again. "What   
  
else do you have to say?"  
  
Now she finally sat down, a safe distance from him. "The other   
  
one...the one you failed to destroy. It's still alive."  
  
"I guessed as much. So when the time comes, it will also be destroyed.   
  
Unless...unless you want to try talking to it?" He turned his head to   
  
look at her full-on. "Do you wish to try negotiating?"  
  
Ariel shook her head. Kaoru went back to looking out at the recovery   
  
efforts. "This one..." Ariel began, quietly, "...he cannot be swayed.   
  
He is too...simple, too stubborn, to quit."  
  
"An unfortunate fault on his part, I suppose."  
  
She shook her head. "You don't understand. This one doesn't wish for   
  
revenge on the Lilum. He wishes for one thing, and one thing only."   
  
Now she looked directly at him. "He seeks the strongest opponents. He   
  
wishes to prove himself in battle, to display for all that he is the   
  
strongest. In his mind, strength is what governs the world. Back in   
  
the Room of Gauf, he was weak, as he does not believe the mind has any   
  
strength on its own. But here, with a physical form..." she shook her   
  
head sadly.  
  
"I suppose if I were known as the Angel of Might, I too would think   
  
strength was all-important."  
  
"Yes," she said, simply. "And this Angel of Might has been forced to   
  
retreat, been forced to admit it is not strong enough. But it will   
  
return, and when that happens..."  
  
"It will seek the strongest opponents?"  
  
"Exactly. Only now...the opponent that defeated him, the one that he   
  
will seek out above all others...is gone."  
  
Kaoru knew what she was referring to. A few days ago, Asuka, Shinji,   
  
Misato, and Lewis had all come to a unanimous agreement that the Dummy   
  
Plugs had to go. Technicians were working on Evas 00 and 04, trying   
  
their best to pry open the giants' armor so they could dig out the   
  
computer brain inside. Kaoru knew it was only a matter of time before   
  
they pulled the Dummies out. And then would come the hard part:   
  
finding pilots for the Evas. Kaoru knew that he would be the one to   
  
pilot Unit-00; it was only right. Penance, perhaps, for not having   
  
been able to stop the activation of the Dummy last time.  
  
What would become of Unit-04, however, remained to be seen.  
  
"Then I suppose he will have to content himself with what defenses we   
  
can muster," Kaoru said.  
  
"He will not be pleased, you understand. You will be incurring his   
  
rage."  
  
Kaoru nodded. "Indeed. We'll have to be ready."  
  
"What do you mean by 'we', Tabris?"  
  
He grinned, again. "Myself and...whoever pilots the other Eva.   
  
Supposing it can even be repaired."  
  
"You suppose much, Tabris."  
  
"I know."  
  
Ariel stayed a few minutes longer, finally turning to go. She stopped,   
  
however, as the sound of powerful engines could be heard. She looked   
  
up, to see a prop-driven airplane descending towards the miraculously   
  
undamaged air strip waiting on the American side of the camp.  
  
"Who could that be?"  
  
***  
  
"Who could that be?"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"That thing," Kensuke said, lowering his binoculars long enough to   
  
point.  
  
Lewis looked up from his work. "Lord knows," he said, then turned back   
  
to what he'd been doing.  
  
Kensuke, standing in the passenger seat of the Land Rover, looked down   
  
through the window at the American commander. Lewis was squatting on   
  
the ground, muttering under his breath as he struggled with the nuts on   
  
the visibly flat front wheel.   
  
"Are you _sure_ you can't have someone else do that for you?" Kensuke   
  
asked, watching.  
  
"I could," came the strained reply. Lewis grunted, and the nut finally   
  
began to turn. "But sometimes you need to do something like this, just   
  
for a break. Be careful in there by the way, kid."  
  
"Don't worry. I know not to shake this thing."  
  
"Well, yeah, but don't touch the shotgun, either."  
  
Kensuke looked over his shoulder, at the 12-gauge resting against the   
  
passenger seat. "Is it loaded?"  
  
"Always," came the reply, accompanied by a little laugh. Lewis started   
  
on another nut.  
  
Kensuke went back to looking out his binoculars. He was tempted to   
  
look up at the plane; such things were not very common, nowadays. That   
  
one even looked like it was a military one, albeit a little old. But   
  
he'd found something more interesting to look at.  
  
Some distance off, sitting at the top of the large shelter Rei and   
  
Kaoru used, there sat Kaoru himself, looking like he didn't have a care   
  
in the world, with his legs dangling off the edge as he leaned back to   
  
look at the sky. This was not what had Kensuke's attention, however.   
  
That honor belonged to the white-haired girl sitting near Kaoru at the   
  
moment. From the look of things, the two of them were talking. About   
  
what, he could only guess.  
  
^She looks so sad,^ he thought. ^I wonder what's wrong?^  
  
"Say, Lewis-san," he began.  
  
Another grunt as a particularly stubborn nut finally came loose.   
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Well, I..." he began, then trailed off. "Well, that is...I, uh..."   
  
his eyes roved around, as though hidden somewhere in the truck were the   
  
words he was looking for.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Uh...nothing," he said, finally.  
  
Lewis seemed to take this at face value. Either that, or he was   
  
distracted by the appearance of Misato.  
  
"Hey, Katsuragi," he said, as the woman approached. "What's up?"  
  
"I came to return your keys," she said. "I just noticed I still had   
  
them. Sorry about that." She tossed them too him. Lewis snatched the   
  
keys out of the air with one hand, and then immediately chucked them in   
  
the window with Kensuke.  
  
"How'd you move this thing without keys?" Misato asked. "Don't tell me   
  
you hotwired it."  
  
"That's required knowledge, these days," Lewis said, as he struggled   
  
with the wheel, now that all the nuts were off. "Just like changing a   
  
tire, you know?"  
  
Misato smiled nervously. "Uh...yeah. Sorry about that."  
  
Lewis got the wheel off and threw it away, where it rolled briefly   
  
before flopping to the ground. "Sorry, eh?" he asked, as he wiped some   
  
of the sweat off his face. "I still wanna know how you managed to blow   
  
a tire so quick."  
  
Misato laughed a little, sounding strained. It was the truth, at   
  
least; she'd been trying to escape from Unit-00 by using Lewis' Land   
  
Rover. However, seconds after getting the thing in gear, she'd managed   
  
to hit a rock and destroy one of the front tires.  
  
"Next time at least do something that'll last," the American continued,   
  
as he rolled the replacement wheel around. "You know, drive it off a   
  
cliff or something. At least bang it up pretty good. Only way I can   
  
ask for a new Humvee is if I destroy this thing." He sat back down and   
  
started fitting the new wheel onto the truck.  
  
"I'll do my best," Misato said jokingly. "But, anyway," she continued,   
  
"You know someone just landed? They look like they're looking for   
  
you."  
  
"Well, they'll find me, then."  
  
She paused, looking at him. "They don't look too angry," she ventured.   
  
"Probably here to give you that promotion."  
  
"Heh. Probably."  
  
Pause. "Do you think this'll give you any new clearance?"  
  
"Like what?" Lewis asked, innocently.  
  
"You know...like explaining certain things. What you say you can't   
  
tell other people."  
  
"If you're askin' for the formula to that hangover cure, it's a closely   
  
guarded secret."  
  
Misato blinked, staring at him and trying to figure out if he was being   
  
serious. "That's not it and you know that, Major."  
  
"Uh huh. Step on the brake a minute, kid!"  
  
Kensuke complied, locking the wheel in place as Lewis began putting the   
  
nuts back on. Misato continued.  
  
"You know it's not a good idea to keep secrets," she said, turning her   
  
head and looking at him out of the corner of her eye.  
  
Lewis paused briefly in his work, then shrugged, keeping his gaze on   
  
the wheel. "Like I said, Katsuragi, only _I_ know how to make my   
  
hangover cure. I'd tell you, but, well..." he looked at her, lowering   
  
his sunglasses a minute. "...then I'd have to kill you." He clicked   
  
his tongue at her and resumed putting the nuts back on.  
  
Misato shook her head at this. "Well, good luck to _you_, then," she   
  
said angrily, turning on her heel.  
  
"Katsuragi, believe me, there's some things you're better off not   
  
knowing," he called after her. Misato stopped and looked over her   
  
shoulder at him. Lewis was looking back.  
  
The man shrugged and a cocky smile cracked his face. "I mean, if I   
  
told you what's in that hangover cure, you'd never use it again.   
  
Ever." He laughed a little at his joke and went back to putting the   
  
wheel back on. Misato shook her head again and walked away.  
  
It was relatively quiet for a moment, until Kensuke stuck his head out   
  
the window again. "Finished, Lewis-san?"  
  
"Just about."  
  
"Hey, Lewis-san, what _is_ in your hangover cure, anyway?"  
  
Lewis looked at him for a moment, hesitating before answering. "Like I   
  
said, you don't want to know," he finally said. "And what's a kid like   
  
you doin' getting worried about being hung over, anyway?" He got to   
  
the front of the truck and decompressed the jack, lowering the Land   
  
Rover back down onto its front wheels.  
  
After Lewis had thrown everything into the back of the truck again, he   
  
jumped into the driver's seat. Kensuke handed him the keys.  
  
"What's that say, anyway?" the boy asked, pointing to the keychain as   
  
Lewis started the truck. "It's in English..."  
  
"It says, 'I'm the BOSS, I can do whatever I want.'" With a rumble   
  
from the engine, they were off, going around on a short patrol to test   
  
the new tire.  
  
"That's so...you," was all Kensuke could say.  
  
"Heh."  
  
"Say, Lewis-san..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"How...how is it you can do that? Handle Misato-san like that, I   
  
mean."  
  
"_Handle_ her? I dunno what the hell I'm doing, half the time."  
  
"Really? Well, it's just...well, it looks like you know what you're   
  
doing...you know, around women."  
  
The initial response was a noncommittal shrug. "Maybe it looks that   
  
way. Dunno."  
  
Kensuke paused, thinking that one over. "Well...can I ask you a   
  
question?"  
  
"Sure, go ahead."  
  
"Well, what would you...what would _you_ do if some girl...I don't   
  
know, if some nice girl looked like...like she might be interested in   
  
some...you know, some other guy."  
  
Lewis didn't react for several seconds, long enough to make Kensuke   
  
wonder if he'd spoken loud enough. He was just about to try choking   
  
out those same words again when the American commander finally   
  
answered.  
  
"Well, I'd say...if this were a girl I was hot on..." Kensuke couldn't   
  
see Lewis look at him from behind the sunglasses. Lewis saw the boy   
  
redden a little, though. "Lessee...I'd shoot him in the head," he   
  
said, very matter-of-factly.  
  
Silence. "Though I guess I could just break his neck, if I wanted to   
  
conserve ammo."  
  
He looked away from where he was going and down to the now much paler   
  
boy next to him. "What?" he asked, doing a good job of sounding   
  
oblivious. "Standard military tactic, you know. Take out all the   
  
competition, and move on the target at your leisure."  
  
He then hit the brakes, grinding the truck to a halt. "But then again,   
  
what do you really think I know?" he asked the boy. "I mean, I know   
  
how to talk to women, but I usually just don't think about what you're   
  
asking me."  
  
After giving Kensuke a moment to think that one over, he hit the gas,   
  
starting them moving again. "You hang around soldiers as long as   
  
me...you get into enough fights, even just regular ones, without any   
  
damn _robots_ stomping around...you know what you see?"  
  
"Wh-what?"  
  
For a response, Lewis pointed out the window, at one of the large   
  
lineups of motionless, humanoid lumps hidden under a tarp. Kensuke   
  
looked, and went quiet.  
  
"And watching 'em get machine-gunned or napalmed or blown up ain't the   
  
bad part," Lewis continued. "'Cause after you get back home" - he   
  
paused to upshift - "you got to tell their wives that they're not   
  
coming back."  
  
He looked at Kensuke again, briefly. "Now, I can get used to just   
  
about anything. I can shoot a man in the face and go get lunch. I can   
  
order a whole town blown up and watch it over _coffee_. But, I tell   
  
you...telling these guys' families never gets any easier." He paused.   
  
"Last thing I'd want any of my guys to have to do is tell my family,   
  
supposin' I had one to tell." He shook his head. "Sorry, kid. Been   
  
under a lot of stress lately. Normally I don't say this much."  
  
"I-i-it's all right, Lewis-san."  
  
Lewis hit the brakes again. "I say stick to drunken one-night stands   
  
for when you feel the need. Tire works," he announced. "Now, s'cuze   
  
me, but I gotta go see who the brass sent over." He jumped out of the   
  
truck and closed the door behind him. But before leaving, he turned   
  
and stuck his head back in through the open window.  
  
"But, to be serious a minute," he said, his voice quieter than it'd   
  
been earlier, "I'd say talk to the girl. Or the guy, I guess." He   
  
shrugged. "But that's all I can say. Not much to talk, myself. Hell,   
  
I'm the guy they send in when talking don't work." He grinned toothily   
  
at Kensuke. He patted his hand on the door, as the boy's shoulder was   
  
out of reach. "See you later."  
  
"Right."  
  
***  
  
"Are you quite certain, Rei?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"It's not too late to change your mind."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I would still be willing to go instead."  
  
"That will be unnecessary, Nagisa-kun."  
  
Karou hesitated a bit at the use of his last name; he'd grown used to   
  
Rei referring to him in the familiar. He stored that observation away   
  
to think about later.  
  
Down on the hastily-constructed airstrip, the undamaged condition of   
  
which Kaoru was still having trouble believing, a small passenger plane   
  
waited, a small maintenance crew giving it a thorough check. In just a   
  
few short hours, a few select passengers would be boarding it, for a   
  
trip across Japan.  
  
"NERV..." Kaoru said under his breath. He said nothing for several   
  
minutes afterwards. He remained sitting, under the protection of his   
  
shelter. Rei stood next to him, keeping her eyes anchored to the   
  
plane.  
  
"I do not like the thought of you travelling alone with Ariel-san,"   
  
Kaoru finally said, breaking the silence.  
  
"I will not be travelling alone with her."  
  
Kaoru let out a brief sigh. "I understand that, Rei. But of the group   
  
there, Ariel-san is the one I would worry about. Though I doubt she'd   
  
try anything blatant, she's not stupid."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You don't know if she is as reformed as she might want you to believe.   
  
Her intentions could well be the same as the others', if less violent.   
  
Subtlety was her specialty, if you remember."  
  
"Hers and the Sixteenth's. I am well aware of this."  
  
Kaoru sighed in resignation. "Very well," he said, finally. "One last   
  
word of advice...at least try to get along with Soryu. I understand   
  
there's no love lost between you and her, but...you can't afford to be   
  
distracted by petty differences."  
  
Kaoru thought he saw Rei's eyes harden at the word 'petty'. But it   
  
might have just been his imagination. Rei responded in her usual   
  
monotone:  
  
"Yes."  
  
There was another long silence. "Does it surprise you that Ariel-san   
  
would be interested in being in the group on this trip?"  
  
"No."  
  
"...I suppose not. After all, she was trying rather hard to get into   
  
NERV a few years ago." Kaoru let out a strained laugh. Rei's   
  
expression didn't change. She said nothing in response to Kaoru's   
  
little joke.  
  
Kaoru leaned back, lying down in the dirt and looking up at the blue   
  
sky. "How's your cheek?" he finally asked, without looking at her.  
  
"It is well."  
  
The boy let out a small sigh. Rei had yet to offer an explanation   
  
about where that bruise on her cheek had come from, but then again he   
  
hadn't had to ask. He knew where Shinji had gone after the battle.  
  
"I'm sorry," he finally said. "That I couldn't stop Shinji-kun." No   
  
response. "You know he was not entirely in his right mind at that   
  
time. I doubt anyone was, really. It's no real surprise that his   
  
temper got the better of him."  
  
Still no response, at first. "There is nothing to be done about it,   
  
now," Rei finally said.  
  
Kaoru turned his head to look at her. "I do not entirely like your   
  
current attitude, Rei," he said, quietly. "You're speaking as though   
  
your fate is decided already."  
  
Rei looked back at him, their eyes meeting for a moment. "That is not   
  
the case," she said, in her monotone. "I simply do not feel there is   
  
anything that can be done."  
  
"Or you just simply do not feel," Kaoru commented. "Did it not bother   
  
you, when Ikari-kun struck you?" he asked. "Did it not hurt?"  
  
"Physical pain is fleeting," Rei commented. "It has passed, now."  
  
^What about spiritual pain, then?^ Kaoru wondered. ^Are you just   
  
keeping it inside, Rei? Please don't tell me that you just don't care.^  
  
His brow furrowed as he noticed something. He quickly got to his feet,   
  
Rei's eyes tracing his movements as he did so.  
  
"What..." Kaoru began, looking at her face again. "What has   
  
happened?" he asked.  
  
Rei blinked, looking at him with a deadpan expression.  
  
"Your face...the bruise is gone already?" he asked.  
  
Rei nodded.  
  
"That is...rather quick," he said, guardedly. It had only been a few   
  
days since she'd come back with a black-and-blue mark on one cheek.   
  
There should have at least been _some_ trace of the injury left. But   
  
instead, there was simply the plain expanse of ivory skin, unblemished   
  
and uninjured.  
  
"If that is all," Rei said, turning to go.  
  
Kaoru reached out, lightly touching her shoulder. "Rei," he said, as   
  
she turned her head to look at him. He paused, as the cold gaze from   
  
those red eyes fell on him. But he shook it off. "Rei...are you quite   
  
certain you are ready to go back to that place?"  
  
For a response, Rei looked away, and kept walking, out of Kaoru's grip.   
  
The boy's arm fell back down by his side. He watched her leaving, a   
  
puzzled look on his face.  
  
^Rei...if only I could tell what was going on in your head. What has   
  
happened to you?^  
  
***  
  
"This can't be happening."  
  
Oddly enough, Asuka had said those exact same words three days ago.   
  
She'd suspected something when Misato had first approached her; there   
  
had just been something suspicious about the woman's manner, though she   
  
couldn't point out anything specific.  
  
She'd ended up going back to the shelter she and Shinji shared, as   
  
Misato had said they'd needed somewhere private. Had Misato been a   
  
male, Asuka would have probably wrung the answer out of her then and   
  
there. She knew enough about guys to know what it could mean when they   
  
wanted to go somewhere private. But as it had been, she'd just   
  
complied quietly.  
  
She had to hand it to Misato; she hadn't minced words. She'd just   
  
dropped the bomb shell immediately, stirring up Asuka's already   
  
confused life even more with just three words:  
  
"We found NERV."  
  
Asuka whispered the words under her breath as she headed towards the   
  
air strip. A small passenger plane had landed less than twelve   
  
hours ago, which had left them with a chaotic night in which to try to   
  
sleep. Now that the plane was refueled and checked over, it was ready   
  
to take its passengers to their destination.  
  
There were only a few choice people who were coming along. They'd been   
  
individually informed as well, visited by either Misato or Asuka   
  
herself, depending on the person in question. Though she'd never say   
  
it out loud, Asuka was grateful that Misato had told her when they were   
  
alone. She didn't know how she'd have reacted if it had suddenly   
  
become public knowledge that the place from her past had reappeared.   
  
When Misato had first told her, Asuka had refused to accept the meaning   
  
of those words. But as Misato had persisted in telling her, the idea   
  
had finally forced itself into her.  
  
"We found NERV," she said again.  
  
And then...Misato had gotten that look in her eyes, the look of concern   
  
Asuka simultaneously wanted and hated. She'd just asked the woman to   
  
leave. Misato had done so, which was just as well; Asuka didn't know   
  
what she'd have done if the woman had tried to comfort her, to try and   
  
talk to her. She may well have taken her up on the offer. And that   
  
just wouldn't have done, would it?  
  
^I have to be strong. People are depending on me.^  
  
She'd managed to compose herself by the time Shinji had found his way   
  
back to the shelter. She'd tried to be nonchalant about it, tried to   
  
be casual. But it had been impossible. It had just come out of her,   
  
like with Misato earlier:  
  
"We found NERV."  
  
"Uh huh," Shinji agreed absentmindedly. He was directly in front of   
  
her as they went up the short ramp and into the cramped door of the   
  
plane. Of course he'd heard her. Stupid. She'd have to watch what   
  
she was saying while thinking things through.  
  
Shinji...she'd have to watch _him_, too. Ever since that day, when the   
  
Eva had destroyed their homes...he'd been different. He'd disappeared   
  
for a while, to go talk to Ayanami, and then...  
  
She glanced at him while he wasn't looking back. He still had that   
  
look about him. Of not being entirely _here_. She often caught him   
  
thinking hard about something, a worried expression on his face. This   
  
was one of those times.  
  
She tapped his arm, getting his attention. "Hey...you all right?" she   
  
asked, making sure to keep her expression casually curious instead of   
  
worried.  
  
"Huh? Oh, everything's fine," he said too quickly, flashing a smile at   
  
her which looked a little forced.  
  
That was the response he'd always give when she asked about it. She'd   
  
have to pry a _real_ answer out of him later. She'd have done that   
  
before getting on the plane, but with the sudden preparations for this   
  
trip, she hadn't had the time.  
  
She had her suspicions, though. Her eyes glanced back to the rear of   
  
the plane, where she could see Rei Ayanami, already seated and with her   
  
eyes focused intently on the book she was reading.  
  
^Wondergirl did something, I just _know_ it,^ Asuka thought, and not   
  
for the first time.  
  
As though able to hear these thoughts, Rei's eyes briefly looked up   
  
from the book, meeting Asuka's. She held her gaze there for just a   
  
moment, long enough for Asuka to be dead sure Rei had looked _at_ her   
  
instead of _through_ her. And then she looked back down to her book,   
  
as though nothing were wrong.  
  
Asuka clenched a fist. "Piss me off..." she muttered under her breath.  
  
"Hey, keep it moving!" came a voice from behind her. Asuka gave the   
  
person a brief glare, then stepped out of the door and headed towards   
  
the front of the plane, keeping her hand on Shinji's arm to guide him.   
  
There weren't any cliffs around here to stumble off of, but with the   
  
way he'd been acting recently, she wasn't taking any chances.  
  
The person behind her, none other than Kensuke Aida, turned and headed   
  
more towards the back of the plane, wisely heading away from Asuka.   
  
Strapped to his person was a small digital video camera, along with   
  
three bulging duffel bags. He'd even brought a pair of sunglasses   
  
which now hung out of his shirt. Topping it all off was his giddy   
  
attitude; he was almost bouncing down the plane, not even noticing as   
  
his luggage got stuck on almost every seat.  
  
^It's like the stooge is going on vacation,^ Asuka thought, shaking her   
  
head.  
  
"Explain to me again _why_ we have to take him along?" Misato asked,   
  
coming on after Kensuke. "I don't see why he has any stake in this   
  
whole trip."  
  
"He asked," answered Lewis, ducking his head as he followed her through   
  
the door. He carried a duffel bag over each shoulder, and muscled them   
  
around as best he could in the cramped confines of the plane.  
  
"We got room for one more anyway," he continued, shrugging. "And it   
  
looks like he's excited enough."  
  
Asuka knew the real reason. She'd seen it with her own eyes: Kensuke   
  
had literally hung onto Lewis' leg, getting dragged along the ground   
  
with every other step as the big man had tried to head for the plane.   
  
It had been like something out of a cartoon, with Kensuke begging to   
  
come along and Lewis answering with a firm negative. He'd made it   
  
about a dozen steps before finally relenting and saying that Kensuke   
  
could come along.  
  
Well, at least the stooge made a good pack mule. Asuka had made him   
  
carry both her and Shinji's bags, in addition to his own. If he wanted   
  
to come along, he'd have to carry his weight. The unfortunate thing   
  
was that he didn't seem to mind.  
  
"Hey, Lewis-san, where's our escort? I mean, we got VIP's on board,   
  
right?" The boy was insatiable.  
  
"Heh heh," Lewis chuckled in return. He checked his watch. "Don't   
  
worry 'bout that, kid. Just give us a few minutes to take off."  
  
Asuka didn't really know who Kensuke was referring to as the 'VIP's'.   
  
Probably Wondergirl, she _did_ have something to do with that damn Eva.   
  
And probably even Lewis, whom she now had to refer to as _Colonel_.   
  
That visit from the American military some few days ago had been none   
  
other than some member of the brass come to reward Lewis for his   
  
'commendable' actions in the last battle. Asuka snorted even now,   
  
thinking about it.  
  
At least Lewis wasn't being smug about it. If he'd been acting   
  
haughty, she'd have given him a good knee to the balls. Damn all   
  
foreign protocol, he'd have deserved it. But instead of that, he'd   
  
just gone on for a few minutes about how even with a promotion, he   
  
couldn't get a new Humvee. After that he'd just shrugged it off and   
  
gotten back to business.  
  
"All right, everyone on?" Lewis quickly looked down the length of the   
  
passenger compartment. "Better lock those bags down, kids," he said,   
  
as he headed for the cockpit. After exchanging a few words with the   
  
pilot, he headed back into the plane and took a seat.  
  
There was a brief scramble as everyone piled bags onto empty seats,   
  
taking seats of their own and buckling in place. As they did this, the   
  
large engines on the wings began to turn. A few minutes later, the   
  
plane began taxiing out to the runway.  
  
Asuka looked out the window. There, on the tarmac, was a large   
  
collection of people there to see them off. They'd be all right, she   
  
was sure. Ritsuko had opted to stay behind on this one, though Asuka   
  
couldn't quite understand why. Sure, there weren't many good memories   
  
where they were going, but...they just _had_ to go. There really   
  
shouldn't have been much question about it.  
  
Asuka couldn't see the good doctor there, something she was sure Maya,   
  
sitting in the seat behind her, was put out about. It was just   
  
sickening, sometimes, how much the younger woman hung around Ritsuko.   
  
But even with that, she'd decided to accompany them, leaving her   
  
'sempai' behind to look after things. Asuka wasn't quite so sure how   
  
Ritsuko would be able to handle the camp in their absence. Hopefully   
  
nothing too extreme would happen. If anything did, Kaoru had also   
  
surprised everyone by volunteering to stay behind. That was actually a   
  
bigger comfort than Asuka was willing to admit: at least the camp would   
  
still have the defense of Unit-00, for a worst-case scenario. The   
  
thing was an unreliable piece of equipment, probably just as dangerous   
  
to them as it was to their enemies, but it was better than nothing,   
  
should they get attacked.  
  
She finally saw a familiar face: Hikari, standing motionless in the   
  
crowd. Behind her stood Toji, holding her by the shoulders. Asuka had   
  
to hand it to those two, they were taking their situation pretty well.   
  
The loss of their child, after so long a period of expectation...she   
  
was surprised to even see Hikari on her feet, this short a time after   
  
it had happened. Maybe the girl was just actively not thinking about   
  
it. That was as good a way to get by as any, Asuka figured.  
  
Asuka had insisted they stay behind for this trip. Actually, they   
  
hadn't resisted that much. Maybe they'd realized this trip would be   
  
too much, too fast for them. Or maybe it was the fact that a priest   
  
was finally available and in the camp. He was here to give counseling   
  
to the bereaved and, of course, give last rights to the dead, but he   
  
might also be willing to...  
  
Asuka let out a quiet sigh, thinking about it. Would Hikari's last   
  
name be 'Suzuhara' when she got back from this trip? It was vaguely   
  
disturbing to consider.  
  
"Something wrong?" Shinji asked from his seat next to her.  
  
Asuka turned away from the window and looked at the boy. Rather, at   
  
the young man. She looked at him for a long moment, studying his face.   
  
"Baka Shinji," she finally said, looking back to the window.  
  
She felt Shinji's eyes on her back, now. In the window, she could see   
  
his reflection. He reached out slowly to touch her shoulder, making   
  
Asuka shiver despite herself. But then, before contact, he stopped,   
  
pulling his hand back and straightening up in his seat.  
  
Asuka grumbled a little, seeing this. She shifted her focus back to   
  
what was outside the window.  
  
Also out on the tarmac was a large group of people who were here to see   
  
off one person in particular: Rei. Asuka just couldn't understand it,   
  
how suddenly so many people were willing to support 'Ayanami-sama'.   
  
Didn't they know what she'd _done_? She'd have to talk to them later.   
  
Asuka had a sour expression on as she leaned back in her seat and   
  
checked her seatbelt. With a roar from the engines, the plane   
  
accelerated down the runway. The passengers were all pushed back into   
  
their seats as they gained speed, finally lifting off into the air.  
  
They were on their way.  
  
***  
  
It was a fairly short trip to where they were going; just over an hour   
  
by air, so they'd been told. But even that brief period of time had a   
  
way of drawing out, especially with the atmosphere in the plane. No   
  
one spoke, except briefly and in hushed tones. The only sound was the   
  
dominating background roar generated by the engines.  
  
Kensuke was getting bored despite himself. He knew he shouldn't be   
  
feeling like this; here he was, on a plane from the American military,   
  
sitting among people who operated the majestic Evangelions. As if that   
  
weren't enough, he was sitting across the plane from a Colonel in the   
  
American military, a man who'd probably seen more action than everyone   
  
else on the plane combined. And yet...he was getting bored.  
  
Well, maybe 'bored' wasn't the right term for it. He wasn't just   
  
sitting around with nothing to do. There was something he _could_ be   
  
doing, but...he wasn't doing it.  
  
His eyes drifted back up for the umpteenth time since they'd set off.   
  
A few rows of seats in front of him was a familiar form, the white   
  
color of her hair made all the more intense when seen against her tan   
  
skin. Her hair alone was amazing to look at; falling down past her   
  
shoulders, now to halfway down her back, it almost glowed in the   
  
sterile light from the overhead lamps.  
  
The girl was standing just behind Asuka's seat, leaning over the back   
  
and talking with the redheaded girl. The two were the only voices to   
  
be heard in the plane, right now. Even with the engines drowning out   
  
their words, he could tell from their intonations that they were   
  
speaking fluent German. It was enough to make him wish he'd learned   
  
the language. The two girls looked almost completely obvlivious of   
  
Shinji's presence in the seat next to Asuka.  
  
^And if they don't notice the guy sitting right next to them, fat   
  
chance either of them would notice me.^  
  
"Something bothering you, kid?"  
  
Kensuke turned his head to see that he now had a visitor looking over   
  
his seat. The gruff, unshaven face of Lewis was regarding him closely.   
  
Everything about his face looked casual and relaxed, except for his   
  
eyes. Those sharp blue orbs watched him steadily, never wavering for   
  
an instant. Even now, with the possibility of battle forgotten by   
  
most, those eyes looked like a predator's, never letting their guard   
  
down, always expecting and looking for the next threat. Kensuke   
  
wondered briefly if that was why he always wore his sunglasses.  
  
"What's up?" Lewis asked him, seeing the boy pause.  
  
"Nothing," he replied by reflex.  
  
Lewis raised his eyebrows at him, a smile tugging at his mouth. Those   
  
eyes never twitched.  
  
"I'll take care of it," Kensuke said, a moment later. "Don't worry   
  
about it."  
  
Lewis pursed his lips and nodded slowly. "Well, I can't order you to   
  
tell me." He paused, thinking. "Hey, kid, you wanna see something?"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, you asked what kind of escort we got." Lewis leaned over and   
  
slid up the cover over the window next to Kensuke. "Check it out."  
  
Kensuke turned in his seat. It was a tiny window, just like all the   
  
others, but even through that, he had an excellent view. There,   
  
sitting just off their wing...  
  
"Is that...that's an F-15 E!" he announced.  
  
"Good eye. Yep, that's it all right," Lewis said, nodding.  
  
"That thing's been the staple of the U.S. Air force for like..."  
  
"Years," Lewis answered. "Was never a pilot myself, but I hear those   
  
things are good."  
  
"Good? _Good?_" Kensuke was now on a full-fledged rant. "Those things   
  
have been in the air longer than I've been _alive_. And they're   
  
_still_ out-flying almost everything out there!"  
  
"Well, not _everything._ But you know, when you're rebuilding the Air   
  
Force, you gotta start somewhere. Wouldn't go giving rookie pilots the   
  
F-22's. You know, the planes that cost you about a million dollars if   
  
you so much as _think_ about them." Lewis laughed a little, watching   
  
Kensuke press his face to the window, trying to get a better view.  
  
"They've just been put under my command," the big American explained.   
  
"One of the perks of the rank, you know. They're calling themselves   
  
Lucifer squadron, dunno why."  
  
"Lucifer...I know that one. Lucifer's the angel who fought against the   
  
other angels, and was cast out of heaven because of it. He's also   
  
known as Satan, the devil, Me - "  
  
"OK, OK," Lewis said, cutting him off.  
  
"Are they good?" Kensuke asked, changing tack. "They have to be,   
  
right?"  
  
"Well..." Lewis shrugged. "You gotta remember not many other people   
  
got air forces for us to worry about. So we ain't had many people to   
  
break 'em in on. But yeah, they got a few veterans in there. Guess   
  
they figured they were happier in the air than sitting around in a   
  
puddle of Tang, eh?" he added on, clapping the boy on the shoulder.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so."  
  
"Now, this is a secret," Lewis said, lowering his voice and leaning in   
  
closer. "But you see what's sitting on their wings?"  
  
Kensuke looked. "Looks like an AMRAAM. Air-to-air missile, right?"  
  
"Close. The guts are mostly the same. But the warhead's something   
  
new. Uses N2 mine technology. The scientist types call it a HEAD   
  
setup. That's High Explosive Aerial Destruction. _I_ call it a big-  
  
ass bomb."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really. I've seen some of the footage from the tests on those things.   
  
Completely destroyed something the size of a 747. With one shot."  
  
"What?" Kensuke asked, disbelieving.  
  
"I'm serious. One second, target's just flying along, the next, bam,"   
  
Lewis accentuated this by making a fake explosion with his hands.   
  
"Nothin' but scrap left."  
  
"Wow..." was all Kensuke could say, looking out the window again, with   
  
a still-higher respect of what was travelling with them. "Can that   
  
take out...you know...an Eva?"  
  
Lewis shrugged. "Dunno. But I'd put my money on it," he said,   
  
grinning. "Biggest damn gun I got, right now." He looked up, towards   
  
the front of the plane. A few of the other passengers had turned to   
  
look at them, but only briefly. Now, they were again in relative   
  
privacy.  
  
"But on that thought..." he said, as though he was just thinking of it.   
  
"Kid, you heard what they're doin' with those things? The big robots?"  
  
"Eh...yeah, I heard a little."  
  
"Yeah, and I heard a lot. I'm makin' 'em yank those computers right   
  
out. Only way to be safe, after last time."  
  
"...yeah," Kensuke said, going quiet as the unpleasant, all-too-recent   
  
memory of the most recent incident with Unit-00 resurfaced. He didn't   
  
quite know what 'those computers' was supposed to mean, but if it   
  
helped keep something like a repeat of last time from happening, then   
  
he was all for it.  
  
"Thing is, now we gotta get people to actually get inside and drive   
  
'em." Lewis paused, making sure Kensuke had heard him. "So, kid, I   
  
gotta wonder...who's crazy enough to drive one of those things?"  
  
Kensuke shrugged. "You're asking _me_?" For a response, Lewis just   
  
shrugged again. "Well..." Kensuke said, thinking. "I know Shinji and   
  
Asuka both have experience with it. Toji too, but I don't think he'll   
  
want to. Then of course you got Nagisa..." he trailed off, thinking.   
  
"Yeah, he'll _definitely_ get set up. He can do it, no trouble."  
  
Lewis tilted his head slightly, listening. "Jealous?"  
  
"..." He paused, trying to keep eye contact with those sharp blue   
  
eyes. "Of course I am!" he finally said. "They get such a _cool_ job,   
  
getting to pilot Eva! I can't even imagine what it'd be like! It's no   
  
wonder Nagisa's so popular with - " he caught himself before he said   
  
any more.  
  
Lewis grinned. "Well, thanks for the advice. Those two, right?" Lewis   
  
said, pointing towards Shinji and Asuka.  
  
"Yeah. _Not_ her, Ni-san," Kensuke corrected, seeing that Ariel was   
  
still talking with Asuka. He paused, freezing as the white-haired girl   
  
somehow sensed they were talking about her and looked back at them.   
  
Her eyes practically nailed him to the seat.  
  
^Funny...her eyes are a lot like Lewis'...^  
  
"And...oh, I forgot," he added on, once Ariel had looked back to Asuka.   
  
"Ayanami would be great for the job. She's been at it longer than any   
  
of them, you know."  
  
Lewis gave him a look full of mock skepticism. "Maybe, 'cept I think   
  
the room gets colder when she walks in. Just has a funny attitude   
  
about things, you know?"  
  
"Do I ever. But she's good. I think so, anyway."  
  
"Well, all right then, kid. Thanks."  
  
"No, thank _you_, Lewis-san. I'd have never thought to look out the   
  
window."  
  
"Well, it was the least I could do," the big man said, sitting back   
  
down in his seat and closing his eyes.  
  
Kensuke looked back out the window, at the jet faithfully flying   
  
alongside them. ^You know...I wonder what Lewis's first name is...^  
  
***  
  
They'd seen it from the plane as they were on the descent. But now   
  
that they were on the ground, none of them could believe it.  
  
It was a crater, a giant hole bored straight into the earth.   
  
Underneath, the space expanded on until it was lost in the darkness.   
  
No bottom could be seen.  
  
More interesting still was the surroundings. They would have believed   
  
a few tents, perhaps, but, _this_...  
  
A landing strip had already been plowed and flattened. It was unpaved,   
  
but it had been more than enough for their little plane to land. The   
  
F-15's had continued on, going to land somewhere else.   
  
The bulldozers that had done the work on the landing strip were now at   
  
work moving rubble out of the way, levelling the rest of the land   
  
around the crater. They'd already made a huge amount of progress,   
  
enough that there was ample room for the buildings.  
  
Few of them could believe what they were seeing: semi-permanent   
  
structures, with wooden frames and concrete walls. Most of them even   
  
had windows. None of them were really any more than a hastily   
  
assembled, single-story structure made to last only as long as the   
  
excavation. But to people ekeing out a living among rocks and rubble   
  
for the past two years, the sight of man-made structures was blissfully   
  
refreshing.  
  
Lewis had run off the moment he'd stepped off the plane, before any of   
  
them could ask him anything. Now he was off talking with the   
  
commanding officer here. Supposedly, he outranked the man now. So at   
  
least he'd be able get his questons answered. The only problem was how   
  
much he'd tell the others.  
  
After a few minutes, the American finished up and walked leisurely back   
  
to the others.  
  
"All right, boys and girls," he said, clapping his hands together.   
  
"Looks like everything's goin' all right here - "  
  
"All right?" Misato asked. She glanced in the direction of the growing   
  
encampment. "How long have you people been here, anyway?"  
  
Lewis shrugged. "Don't ask me, Katsuragi. I only know what they tell   
  
me." He looked back to the others. "Now anyway, you can put your   
  
stuff over here."  
  
"When can we go inside, Lewis-san?" Kensuke blurted out. He clammed up   
  
a little in embarassment a moment later, but Misato was secretly   
  
thankful. Someone had had to ask it.  
  
Lewis paused, and Misato instantly knew something was wrong. "You   
  
see..." the man began, rubbing his hands together. "They're not being   
  
very open about that."  
  
"What?" Asuka demanded, stepping towards Lewis. "They won't tell you?   
  
The ranking one? The high-and-mighty _Colonel_?" The sarcastic edge   
  
to the girl's voice made Misato wince.  
  
Lewis looked at Asuka. With his sunglasses on, they couldn't see his   
  
eyes. But Misato could guess they weren't friendly, at the moment.  
  
"They say only certain people can go in," Lewis explained. "And no,"   
  
he said, answering the question on all of their faces. "You're not   
  
'certain people'."  
  
"But..." Asuka stammered. "But _why_? What do you people have up your - "  
  
"I don't _know_, kid," Lewis answered, cutting her off. "I'll work on   
  
it, OK? But for now, let's get inside. It's gettin' hot."  
  
***  
  
Somewhere in the south of Japan, a giant rested. Its wings were   
  
retracted back into its body, stored until the giant decided to take to   
  
the sky again. Its gargantuan form, flesh a pure white, lay sprawled   
  
on the ground, shuddering occasionally as its chest rose and fell,   
  
drawing in great rushes of wind with each breath.  
  
Its body was damaged, and had to heal. Though there were some minor   
  
injuries, they were of little consequence to a warrior, who should not   
  
even pay them any heed. However, the raw stump of its right arm wasn't   
  
something that could easily be overlooked. It was a crippling injury,   
  
it knew that. When it took to the field of battle again, it would not   
  
be able to fight at its full potential.  
  
There was no question in its mind of whether it would fight again.   
  
Such was its task as a warrior. It had found not one, but _two_   
  
formidable opponents, against whom its might would have been rightfully   
  
tested. It should have been a glorious battle. With the weapon it had   
  
pulled from this body's chest upon awakening, its might should have   
  
been a match for its opponents. Supposedly, another incarnation of   
  
this weapon had been the one to strike down the lord of space and the   
  
sky itself. Arael, the one whose might was not in the body but the   
  
mind, had been defeated with but a single strike of this weapon.   
  
Surely those pitiful copies of the true Father could not have stood for   
  
long, when it was armed as such.  
  
But...it had been afraid.  
  
Fear was a useless feeling to a warrior. It dulled the mind and   
  
senses, replaced reason with panic. It knew this well; it remembered   
  
the Lilum, struck through with fear at its monstrous visage, unable to   
  
defend themselves before its onslaught. This had been the first time   
  
it had felt this fear, but it knew that such was the name of the   
  
emotion.  
  
Its opponent...the one whose armor was a color not unlike its own   
  
flesh, had attacked it. In single combat, the fight should have been   
  
quick and decisive. Its opponent had not even had a weapon appropriate   
  
to its size. A simple knife was all it had been able to bring to bear   
  
against the might of the lance standing before it. That it had been   
  
able to injure the giant at all was a miracle. That it had been the   
  
one to sever its arm...well, that was something that just should not   
  
have happened.  
  
But the giant had hesitated, seeing this opponent. In its blood-red   
  
eyes, it could see echoes of something...familiar. Something so   
  
ferocious that it did not even feel pain, something so bloodthirsty   
  
that it would not stop until it had utterly destroyed that which stood   
  
ahead of it...the giant knew only one being such as that.  
  
And so, the opponent had disabled the giant, torn its arm from its   
  
body. Such had been a very painful reminder of how it had met its end   
  
before. Had things continued, it may even have progressed to its   
  
conclusion: the ultimate shame of not only being defeated, but   
  
_devoured_, consumed piece by bleeding piece, going into something that   
  
would not even allow its opponent the rest given by death.  
  
It clenched its free hand into a fist, muscle and sinew tensing. That   
  
worthless emotion of 'fear' had made it run when it could have instead   
  
emerged victorious. It had seen the opening. It could have run its   
  
opponent through, skewered it with the powerful weapon it had still   
  
been able to use, even one-armed. But instead, it had run. It had   
  
shoved its opponent away, and run. It had abandoned the battle,   
  
choosing instead the way of a coward.   
  
And because of that, the other one, its partner in the battle, had met   
  
its end. Such a tremendous irony: that the one who in the past had   
  
been the weakest of them all had then met the end of a true warrior,   
  
while the mightiest had fled, hoping to continue its now-worthless   
  
existence for just a little longer.  
  
Its dignity thus destroyed, the giant now lay here. It _would_ go back   
  
to battle. It _had_ to. It simply had to be prepared. To block out   
  
that 'fear' and become a true warrior once more.  
  
It would emerge victorious. Though its opponents were strong, its   
  
might was still greater. It would be prepared.  
  
But that still left the very real problem of its being short a limb.   
  
It turned its elongated head, looking at the truncated arm. In doing   
  
so, its gaze fell on the massive spear, lying next to it on the earth.   
  
It focused on the weapon, as its mind began to churn through the   
  
problem.  
  
Perhaps there was a solution, one that would in fact increase its   
  
strength. Such would make it all the more prepard to engage its foes,   
  
and defeat them, conclusively proving its superior might.  
  
***  
  
Shinji lay wide awake in bed.  
  
He knew he should be sleeping. He hadn't been getting enough rest,   
  
lately. A little sleep would definitely help him feel a little better.   
  
But even now, every time he tried to let sleep come, every time it the   
  
darkness of rest began to close on him, he saw them: twin orbs, burning   
  
crimson in color. A stare that shot him through the heart, and made   
  
him truly fear for his life. The memory of that stare kept stealing   
  
sleep away from him. The only thing to do was to lie there, hoping   
  
sleep would sneak up on him before you realized it. And then he'd have   
  
to be careful not to dream.  
  
Out here, it was worse. True, he didn't have to look out on the   
  
destruction of the encampment, didn't have to see the dead laid out and   
  
awaiting their last rites. Instead, he had his thoughts, his hazy   
  
memories of what lay under them, its hollow caverns echoing with the   
  
recollection of the events that had come to pass not so long ago. The   
  
place where the destruction of humanity had started. The place that   
  
had been his home. The place where his father had been. The place   
  
he'd come to, desiring acceptance, and instead finding a life of pain.  
  
Why had he come? He hadn't even thought about it, back when everyone   
  
was going. It had simply seemed like what he'd had to do. But now   
  
that he was here, he couldn't decide what to do.  
  
He couldn't stop thinking about what might be down there. For a place   
  
where so much had happened to him, he could barely remember anything   
  
about his time here. Some things were almost clear, like when he'd   
  
first seen Eva-01's gruesome face staring at him. But other things   
  
were blurred, distorted down to nothing more than feelings. And   
  
unfortunately, most of those feelings were fear, apprehension, and   
  
guilt.  
  
Perhaps it was best that he not remember. Maybe it was for the best   
  
that the Americans were only letting certain people down into the   
  
ruins. It wasn't so bad that engineers could dig through the ruins   
  
freely while he and the others were stuck up here, forced to watch. It   
  
wasn't so bad that he wouldn't be able to see the inside.  
  
But...what was down there?  
  
He closed his eyes, trying to block out those thoughts. The more he   
  
tried to block out thoughts of NERV, the more he wondered what he'd   
  
find down there if he were to go look for himself.  
  
He rolled onto his side, his eyes opening again. His view was out of   
  
the tent flap, out to the buildings excavation site, a few of their   
  
windows - windows! - glowing with lights inside.  
  
He rolled over, turning his back on the sight. Just behind the   
  
buildings had, of course, been the excavation itself. A yawning chasm   
  
which, without the aid of the sun, would be impenetrably dark.  
  
Some amount of time passed. He didn't know how long; enough such that   
  
his eyes were finally starting to close when the hand touched his   
  
shoulder.  
  
Shinji's eyes popped back open he felt someone shaking him. He turned   
  
over, to see the shadowy form of Asuka squatting there, next to him.  
  
"Hey, wake up, baka Shinji," she whispered.  
  
"Asuka?" he asked. "What - " he was cut off as Asuka put one finger to   
  
his lips, silencing him. The girl glanced over her shoulder, then   
  
leaned in close.  
  
"We're going in," she said, so quietly Shinji wondered if he'd imagined   
  
the words. The boy just blinked, in response.  
  
"They can't keep us out of there," Asuka said, brusquely. "It's   
  
_ours_, no matter what the jerks say. You know I didn't come out here   
  
just for this red tape."  
  
Shinji sat up, trying to meet her eyes in the darkness. "Asuka, you   
  
don't mean - "  
  
"We've got a way in," the girl explained. "The other stooge says he   
  
saw some of the engineers going through some doors that led inside. He   
  
can get us inside."  
  
"But...why do you want to go in so badly?"  
  
Asuka drew back a fist, causing Shinji to flinch reflexively. But she   
  
lowered her arm this time, without hitting him. "Baka," she whispered.   
  
"We _have_ to go in. We just...we _have_ to. Even if we have to sneak   
  
in. We've got lights," she said, patting the large flashlight hanging   
  
by her hip. "Might be dark, but I have to see what's in there. Just   
  
sitting out here's going to drive me _crazy_. Are you telling me you   
  
don't want to go see?"  
  
Shinji lay there for a moment, then decided it would be worthless to   
  
try getting back to sleep now. He swallowed a little, then slowly got   
  
to his feet. Asuka followed suit.  
  
"How long are you...are _we_ going to be down there?" he asked.  
  
"A while," Asuka said. "Long enough to look around. Don't worry," she   
  
said, batting him on the arm. "We'll be back before anyone knows we're   
  
gone. Now come on, we'd better get going."  
  
After pulling on a pair of shoes, Shinji followed Asuka outside. They   
  
immediately started walking, Asuka leading the way as they made their   
  
way towards the excavation. Several times they stopped, as they   
  
imagined a voice or a footstep coming towards them. But every time,   
  
they'd start up again, advancing on their target.  
  
After about fifteen minutes, they were entering the excavation. This   
  
was the closest Shinji had ever come, and at this distance it was   
  
impressive. The hole blasted into the ground was enormous. An Eva   
  
could have fit through it with no trouble at all. Fortunately, that   
  
was not where Asuka was taking them. Instead, she led them around the   
  
perimeter of the hole, finally reaching a set of double metal doors,   
  
their toothed edges meeting in an impenetrable seal in the middle.  
  
They were not alone. Waiting at the door was Kensuke, whispering away   
  
in his normal babble as he worked on the entry lock keypad next to the   
  
door. He held a flashlight in one hand, its pool of light painfully   
  
intense when seen alongside the darkness of the night. His other hand   
  
played with the wiring.  
  
Ariel, standing in front of the door, was just nodding periodically,   
  
listening to the boy with half an ear as she kept a lookout. She   
  
stiffened a little at the appearance of Asuka, but relaxed as soon as   
  
she realized who it was. She beckoned for the other two to come   
  
closer.  
  
Once they were at the door, Ariel explained.  
  
"Aida-kun says he can get the door open. After that, it's up to our   
  
guide."  
  
"Guide?" Shinji asked. He glanced at Asuka, who shook her head, her   
  
face going deadpan. The girl pointed off to the side.  
  
Shinji looked, and jumped a little, seeing Rei waiting in the shadows   
  
next to the door. He hadn't even seen her there. He opened his mouth   
  
to say something, but the girl's red eyes narrowed again, giving him a   
  
look much the same as the one they'd given him not too long ago.   
  
Swallowing, the boy looked away.  
  
"I guess among us Ayanami knows the layout the best," he said, to which   
  
Ariel and Asuka both nodded. Shinji remembered quite well what a maze   
  
NERV could be, especially when the lights were off, as would certainly   
  
be the case here.  
  
"How much longer, stooge?" Asuka asked, looking over her shoulder at   
  
Kensuke.  
  
"Just a second, okay?" he asked. "I just - !"  
  
Shinji heard the other boy's voice catch suddenly. "Kensuke? What is   
  
it?"  
  
"Shinji...listen...for everything I've ever said, everything I've ever   
  
done wrong to you, I'm sorry. Okay?"  
  
"Kensuke?"  
  
Shinji looked over Asuka's shoulder, to the boy sitting by the panel.   
  
His hands were no longer busy with rewiring the keypad. Instead, they   
  
were frozen, stopped in the middle of their task. As Shinji looked, he   
  
saw what could have made that happen: a tiny, glowing red dot,   
  
quivering on the back of Kensuke's right hand.  
  
He felt rather than heard Asuka's breathing suddenly catch. He looked   
  
before he could stop himself. Two more red dots were on her, one on   
  
her chest and another right between her eyes. As a light breeze threw   
  
a small dust cloud over them, Shinji could see the needle-thin laser   
  
beams glowing brightly, extending from the spots they were painting.  
  
With no small measure of apprehension, he slowly turned around. And   
  
all of a sudden, he knew what it was like to stand before a firing   
  
squad.  
  
Sitting in the darkness was a small arsenal. A _wall_ of gun barrels   
  
was pointed at them. Under each barrel was the winking light of   
  
another laser sight, unerringly tracing out its target. Behind each of   
  
the muzzles was a dark shape, blending almost perfectly into the   
  
shadows, motionless.  
  
One of the dark forms finally moved forward, its red line remaining   
  
eerily still as it walked. Finally, the figure's face was visible in   
  
the dim light of the stars.  
  
"Catch you at a bad time?" Lewis asked.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
End note: Well, I'm still juggling school and this fic, but as you can   
  
see I'm doing my best to keep it up. I hope you can bear with the   
  
longer delays in each chapter.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Started: August 19, 2002  
  
Version 1 Ended: September 26, 2002  
  
Version 2 Ended: September 28, 2002  
  
Version 3 Ended: October 10, 2002  
  
Version 4 Ended: December 24, 2002 


	20. Chapter 16

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
  
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
  
them.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Foreword: I'm going to break fan fiction protocol (if such a thing   
  
exists) and actually say something before I begin. I'll admit right   
  
now that I've been lax in coming out with new chapters. I've had to   
  
take an unscheduled break from AoA, both for school and to rediscover   
  
my motivation. But now I'm back. So enjoy the latest chapter.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech  
  
^ ^ = thoughts  
  
_ _ = italics  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
  
Chapter 16: Dark Nights, Darker Secrets  
  
"I guess I don't really have to ask what it is you're doing, do I?   
  
Lewis asked, the cocky smile that was so clear on his lips vanishing   
  
some time before it could reach his eyes.  
  
The children had frozen, like deer caught in headlights. The American   
  
platoon stood silent, waiting for one of them to speak up. Or make a   
  
wrong move.  
  
"We were just going to look around," Shinji blurted out, without   
  
thinking. "We..." he tried to continue, but his throat closed up. He   
  
could almost _hear_ their fingers tightening on the triggers, ready to   
  
drop them all at the slightest provocation. He swallowed, and   
  
continued in a much quieter voice. "We didn't mean any harm."  
  
"Uh huh," Lewis replied, sarcastically. His gun lowered, however, its   
  
laser coming off of Shinji's chest and aiming safely into the dirt.   
  
"Any reason I should believe you?" he asked Shinji, cocking an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh, come on!" Asuka cut in. "You've seen this place! You know what   
  
everything's like out here! What are you so scared of?"  
  
Lewis cocked an eyebrow at the word 'scared'. His fingers worked,   
  
apparently of their own volition, snapping the safety onto his gun and   
  
smoothly sliding it back into the holster at his hip. It was a token   
  
gesture, though; the other guns remained pointed at their targets.  
  
"This has been officially designated as an American work site," Lewis   
  
explained, the condescending tone in his voice grating on Asuka's   
  
nerves. "That means who goes in or out is up to the ranking officer on   
  
site. S'cuze me." He turned to the soldiers. "Remind me, who's the   
  
ranking one here? My memory's not all that good."  
  
Even if the soldiers didn't speak Japanese, they were certainly able to   
  
pick up on the tone in Lewis' voice. Shinji thought he could hear a   
  
few of the men chuckle. If they did, though, the laugh never reached   
  
their trigger fingers. Nor did it make their masked, valved, and   
  
goggled visages, eyes glowing with the green of tint of light   
  
amplification, any less intimidating.  
  
"So anything you guys want to do, you got to go through me." At this,   
  
he gestured briefly at the troops. "Stand down," he called out firmly,   
  
in English. As one, the troops lowered their weapons, the lasers   
  
finally winking out.  
  
"All right, I've had my fun," Lewis said, over the heads of the   
  
soldiers, into the darkness beyond.  
  
Shinji heard footsteps. In moments, Misato and Maya were in view.   
  
Given the look in Misato's eyes, Shinji briefly wondered if he'd been   
  
better off with the guns aimed at him.  
  
Misato stared at them, hands on her hips, saying nothing. Her   
  
expression was not one of anger, or pity; just disappointment. Asuka   
  
opened her mouth to say something, but only succeeded in drawing that   
  
glare to her. The words died in the German girl's mouth.  
  
"Now then," Lewis said, rubbing his hands together. "Feel like   
  
explaining, Katsuragi?"  
  
Misato sighed, rolling her eyes. "We came here to relieve the   
  
commanding officer on site," she said to the children, her voice cold.   
  
"If any of you had been paying _attention_, you'd know the previous   
  
commander left just today. That means our American...associate..." she   
  
said, pausing for word choice, "...is the one in control, now." She   
  
shook her head at them, giving Shinji and Asuka a maternal look. "All   
  
you had to do was ask," she finished, quietly.  
  
Asuka had looked away, keeping her face impassive. Shinji met Misato's   
  
eyes, looking at that calm, collected expression on the woman he   
  
remembered as being unpredictable and often irresponsible. Guilt had   
  
flooded him, but it seemed he'd forgotten how to speak; he couldn't do   
  
anything other than meet her eyes.  
  
"Anyway," Lewis said, slowly approaching Kensuke. "Outta the way,   
  
kid," he said, putting one hand on Kensuke's shoulder and pulling him   
  
away from the keypad.  
  
"Roberts?" Lewis said, beckoning one of the men behind him. He came   
  
forward, nodding at Lewis before kneeling down next to the keypad.  
  
"Colonel?" Shinji asked, having looked away from Misato at some point.   
  
"What...what are you doing?"  
  
"Like I said, I make the rules now," Lewis explained, shrugging. "And,   
  
well...I'm awake, you got my men outta bed, _you_ sure look like you're   
  
ready. I figure, why wait?" He shrugged.  
  
Kensuke looked up at the big man. "You're letting us in?"  
  
"Hell of a lot easier when you know the code." The keypad beeped, as   
  
though in response to this.  
  
Asuka, for her part, had glanced over the assembled troops. They all   
  
held laser-sight equipped assault rifles, and looked to be carrying   
  
grenades and handguns in addition to that. They carried flashlights,   
  
but at the moment they were all wearing heavy night vision goggles over   
  
their eyes.  
  
"Geez," Asuka said, back to her old cocky self now that the danger had   
  
passed. "Got enough firepower, _boys_?" She put her fists on her   
  
hips, looking skeptically at Lewis. Most of the Americans looked at   
  
her oddly; with the exception of Lewis, they hadn't understood what   
  
she'd said.  
  
For his part, Lewis shrugged again. "Eh, just one of those things you   
  
have to be sure of. Should've seen the look on _your_ face, fraulein."  
  
That shut Asuka up. Shinji found himself holding in a laugh, despite   
  
himself. He turned away from Asuka, just in case she might see. He   
  
looked at the cold metal of the door, waiting for it to open. Around   
  
him, the rest of the group had gone silent. They, too, were wondering   
  
what would be down there. Their attention was focused on the large   
  
door, the last barrier between them and a nightmare that a good many   
  
people in their group had believed they'd never see again.  
  
***  
  
In the darkness behind the door, nothing moved. No light could be   
  
seen, no warmth could be felt, no living thing could be found.  
  
It seemed an eternity before Lewis's men finally made progress on the   
  
door. The stresses of Impact and the forces of decay had long since   
  
broken the access panel, and they had to resort to using a welding   
  
torch to cut through the wall to get the manual overrides working again.  
  
It eventually gave, however, leaving Lewis's men straining to turn the   
  
rusted gears and cogs just enough to permit entry and a sight of what   
  
lay beyond. As the aged portal finally opened with an agonized screech   
  
that caught the breath in their throats, they were able to peer inside.  
  
Surprisingly, what lay behind the door was exactly what they expected.   
  
Darkness.   
  
A wall of it, more solid than the door just opened. An impenetrable,   
  
impregnable screen against their curiousity, and an implacable voice   
  
for their fears, screaming at them to turn away, to cower and flee   
  
back to their old lives of ignorance and comfort, lest they unleash   
  
a host of demons that could never again be contained. A few among them  
  
started to quaver.   
  
Lewis, however, left no one doubtful. Shining a futile light into the   
  
darkness, he cut the hesitant atmosphere with a simple "Let's go,  
  
everyone," before adding a similar commmand in Japanese.  
  
A narrow bar of artificial light pierced the blackness, accompanying   
  
the people who were now entering, one at a time, through the newly   
  
opened door. The first handful carried compact assault rifles, their   
  
goggles supplementing the meager light leaking in from outside. What   
  
illumination there was played off the dust-coated walls as the first   
  
infiltrators looked around, finally nodding to each other and to the   
  
people outside, saying that it was all right.  
  
The others started coming in. These people did not carry weapons, and   
  
showed varying degrees of apprehension towards the armed men who'd come   
  
in first.  
  
"I doubt there's much here to be afraid of," Misato said, ducking in   
  
through the door.  
  
"Like I said," Lewis responded, still outside, "It's one of those   
  
things you just have be sure about." The big American came in a few   
  
moments later, followed by the last of his men. "Everyone here?" he   
  
asked, needlessly. "All right. Who feels like leading the way?"  
  
Shinji was the first to speak up. "Actually, Ayanami had volunteered   
  
for that. She..." He paused, as by this point everyone in the sizeable   
  
group was now staring straight at him. Some of them were at least   
  
recognizeable, but others, namely the Americans standing a little   
  
further off, were nothing more than dark silhouettes, the slight   
  
reflection of light off their goggles the only indication they were   
  
looking at him.  
  
Shinji recovered quickly. "...she probably knows the layout better   
  
than anyone else."  
  
Lewis immediately looked to Misato, who seemed to recognize what he was   
  
asking. She responded by shaking her head vigorously no. "This place   
  
is a maze," she said aloud. "Don't look at me."  
  
"All right then," Lewis said, resignedly. "Ms. Ayanami, if you   
  
will...?" he asked, gesturing down the hallway.  
  
The armed men stiffened a little as Rei passed them. Their grips on   
  
their weapons tightened a bit, but they still kept their control, using   
  
their guns more as flashlights than anything else at the moment.  
  
Rei started walking without any sort of preamble. She maneuvered down   
  
the abandoned hall, walking quickly even though she had no light of her   
  
own. The others followed.  
  
"Where are we going?" someone asked.  
  
"To the command center," Rei answered, without turning to look at the   
  
speaker. "Central Dogma."  
  
Around them, the halls of NERV echoed their footsteps, and their   
  
nervous breaths.  
  
***  
  
The journey that followed was one that would haunt their dreams for   
  
quite some time.  
  
At first they walked along a straight, wide path. It was some kind of   
  
bridge, spanning a dark crevasse, coming from darkness and leading to   
  
darkness, the ground shaking just enough from their footsteps to make   
  
everyone tread lightly. The floor was revealed only in the short span   
  
of feeble light the Americans had brought with them. Rei led, her form   
  
a pale ghost in the dark, her shadow a black omen against the light.   
  
Lewis followed ten paces behind with men flanking him, some of them   
  
nervously scanning the void with their lasers, as if to unmask imagined   
  
foes.   
  
Misato followed Lewis, trying to shepherd the children behind her,   
  
though there was no mistaking the worry in her eyes. Shinji and Asuka   
  
followed her side-by-side, Shinji with a dull look of ingrained fear   
  
and Asuka trying to hide her own. Ariel and Kensuke trailed them,   
  
Kensuke doing his damndest to swallow the lump in his throat and Ariel   
  
looking the least scared of any of them. In fact, the white-haird girl   
  
looked strangely excited, almost eager to see what lay ahead. Another   
  
squad of Lewis's men brought up the rear, no less susceptible to fear   
  
with their gear and guns than any of their compatriots leading the way   
  
into the blackness.   
  
No one dared utter a word, as if afraid it might be an invitation for  
  
the dark to rise up and consume them. The only sounds they heard were   
  
their own heartbeats, and their footsteps on the cold tile floor. Of   
  
course, that did not include the sounds they _thought_ they heard.   
  
Occasionally someone would peer over the edge, dart their eyes   
  
nervously, or intensely follow a speck of dust, all in apprehensive   
  
attempts to find who - or what - they thought was nearby. In the dark,   
  
there was no sanctuary, no safe haven, no place where enemies might   
  
spring out at any minute without any notice, and it began to wear them   
  
down, sleep-deprived Shinji most of all. Unable to concentrate with so   
  
little sleep and growing wearier by the minute trying to fend off   
  
the imaginary threats clawing at all edges of his vision, he began to   
  
succumb. He tried his best to focus on the task at hand, his mind   
  
mutely repeating instructions to his body - left foot forward, right   
  
foot forward, left foot forward, right foot trip, left foot tangle,   
  
whole body fall down awkwardly -  
  
He never heard the sound of his fall, and he barely even felt the pain   
  
of impact. What he did know was when he looked up, every barrel of   
  
every gun carried by the Americans was pointed squarely at his head,   
  
his body cast into shades of red from the multitude of lasers resting   
  
on him.   
  
Somewhere in the distance he heard someone speaking in English:   
  
"Gentleman, while I do acknowledge that taking the safety off your  
  
weapons is a prudent precaution given the circumstances, I will   
  
recommend you all for demotions unless you take your fingers off   
  
your triggers, and your sights off our VIP, _now_."  
  
The guns were reluctantly drawn away, to be replaced by a flashlight   
  
glaring down. A girl's blurry face soon eclipsed its light.   
  
"Shinji-kun, we'll never get there unless you learn how to walk."   
  
Though he could feel the blush spreading in his cheeks, he could only  
  
reply "Yeshhh...Asshuka...sshhho tired..."  
  
"C'mon, we'll help you up." He felt two arms lift him up, and soon he  
  
was between Asuka's and Ariel's shoulders. As the world refocused, he   
  
could hear Kensuke's envious chuckle somewhere in the distance. His   
  
senses forced to restart, he slowly became aware that something was   
  
missing, but he couldn't tell what, at least not immediately.  
  
"Rei..." the name escaped his lips before he could stop it, but he  
  
realized what it meant. The red-eyed girl was nowhere to be seen.   
  
"What?" said Asuka, leaning her head over Shinji's shoulder to better   
  
hear what he said. Shinji ignored this gesture as he continued to call  
  
out.   
  
"Rei? _Rei_? Where are - "   
  
A hand promptly clamped down on his mouth, courtesy of Asuka, as she   
  
muttered a "Baka!" in his ear. Lewis was giving him a hard look, even  
  
as Shinji's voice reverberated from wall to unseen wall, drowning   
  
everything else out for a few tense seconds. It might as well have   
  
been an eternity, as his voice traveled down the hallways ahead of them   
  
like a peal of thunder.  
  
When it ended, Lewis spoke in a hard whisper.   
  
"Well, thank you very much. That just gave away our position to anyone   
  
here. Thanks to you, our journey is now much hard - " Another noise   
  
interrupted him.   
  
It sounded like a shuffling drop, almost mechanical in its rhythm. It  
  
might have been rubble falling in the distance, but it was hard to tell  
  
with all the echoes. However, it was definitely heading towards them,  
  
and with all the noise, it was definitely something large.   
  
Lewis wasted no time. His hand flashed through a few gestures too   
  
quickly for anyone but the troops to follow, and, his men circled   
  
around him and the others. They were plunged into darkness as the   
  
troops switched off their lamps and lowered their night-vision goggles   
  
down over their eyes. Those without guns - namely the children and   
  
Misato - ducked down in the centre of the protective circle, buckling   
  
down as the sound came closer even as a cacophony of echoes threatened   
  
to deafen them.   
  
The sound stopped.  
  
Shinji waited, his pulse thrumming in his ears. Even as a young boy,   
  
he had never been afraid of the dark; he had never seen what was so   
  
terrible. Just because you couldn't see was no reason to be scared.   
  
Now, though, he understood. The terror of the unknown had descended   
  
upon the group of them. He could feel the shooting pain of Asuka's   
  
fingers digging into his arm, but he said nothing; he didn't even know   
  
if he was breathing, right now.  
  
If only the soldiers had thought to give him a flashlight! Just   
  
something to break the pall of darkness with, something for those   
  
without night vision to see with. Even if it would give away their   
  
position, even if it would only lead whatever-it-was straight to them,   
  
he was willing to risk it. Just to be able to see what it _was_...  
  
Faint red lines traced out in the darkness, a pitifully feeble response   
  
to his silent plea for sight. They probed the blackness like thin   
  
fingers, searching. Finally, though, one of them lit on something, a   
  
tiny red dot appearing on something ahead of them. It was followed   
  
soon afterwards by a dozen other lights, tracing out the same object.  
  
Shinji was on his feet, tearing free of Asuka's grasp for a moment.   
  
The girl grabbed at him, tried to drag him back down to safety. She   
  
said nothing, but the insistance of her grip was as poignant as any   
  
shouting she could ever manage.  
  
"At ease," came a sudden voice, sharp and commanding, in English.   
  
Shinji and everyone around him jumped at the sudden sound.  
  
One by one, the laser sights of the Americans began to switch off,   
  
replaced by the brighter flashlights. They highlighted the form ahead   
  
of them: the pale shape of Rei.  
  
"Christ, girl," Lewis was muttering, though in the dead silence it   
  
carried over to all of them. "What're you thinking? You _want_ thirty   
  
rounds in you?"  
  
"I apologize," Rei said, in the same quiet, carrying tone. "I did not   
  
notice you had fallen behind, and the walls are excessively vibratory  
  
in this sector."  
  
"Shit," Lewis cursed, turning on his heel, facing the Japanese on the   
  
floor. He holstered his gun and gestured for them to follow along.   
  
"Come on," he said, quietly. "Think we're all gettin' jumpy."  
  
"There is nothing to be afraid of," Rei commented. She looked up, into   
  
the dark expanse spread out above them. "Nothing can harm you, unless   
  
you let it. This place is dead."  
  
A chill went through some of them at Rei's choice of words. But they   
  
soon got up, following along in the previous order. Asuka didn't   
  
bother chewing out Shinji for his impetuousness earlier; she seemed too   
  
relieved to bother with that, at least not yet.  
  
***  
  
Shinji soon lost track of time in the dark. He only knew that at some   
  
point they'd gotten off that bridge, and that he had walked far enough   
  
for his legs to feel like they might give out completely. It was all   
  
he could do to keep on walking in the oppressive dark, even supported   
  
as he was by Asuka and Ariel. By contrast the two didn't seem to mind -   
  
Asuka even seemed to be enjoying her job. That he could understand,   
  
but Ariel? The girl looked like she had never done a day of hard work   
  
in her life, though she was showing less fatigue than Asuka. Come to   
  
think of it, she'd maintained her grip on him as well, back there in   
  
the dark when he'd stood up. But even when everyone else had been   
  
ready to run, Ariel hadn't seemed troubled in the least. That was odd   
  
indeed. But he didn't waste much time thinking about it; dwelling on   
  
things like that would only make him nervous. He took solace in the   
  
fact that at least Rei knew where they were going.  
  
Did she?   
  
He looked past the broad shoulders of Colonel Lewis to catch a glimpse   
  
of the pale girl, still looking like a ghost in the beam of the   
  
flashlights. She was walking like she always did, neither acknowledging   
  
the darkness around them nor the sounds of increasing fatigue behind   
  
her, heading straight on towards some goal in the void that to her was   
  
as clear as day. To look at her do something was never to witness just   
  
an act; if she did anything it was without reservation, guilt, or   
  
prejudice, only dedication, steadfastness, and...strength?   
  
Fatalism? Or maybe just boredom?   
  
Regardless, he decided to broach the subject.   
  
"Where are we?" he said, sounding louder in the dark than he wanted to.   
  
Rei stopped, as did everyone. Maybe it was a question that he shouldn't   
  
have posed.   
  
Slowly turning around, Rei faced him with an unreadable expression. She  
  
was the best Shinji knew at hiding things behind a face, and unlike   
  
other people her crimson eyes would never betray her - unless she   
  
wanted him to see something. This time, there was nothing as she gave   
  
her answer.   
  
"The road to Central Dogma."  
  
Some people began to sputter.   
  
"I do not know the purpose of this place. But you have been here   
  
before."   
  
Silence abruptly reigned again.   
  
^Now who did she just say that last bit to?^ Shinji wondered, as they   
  
resumed their journey. It wasn't long before they stopped again.   
  
"What is it?" Misato asked, stepping towards Lewis. He raised one   
  
fist, however, in the hand signal ordering a stop. Misato complied,   
  
more out of surprise than anything else.  
  
The Americans at the front of the group were whispering to each other.   
  
Shinji couldn't make out what they were saying, but he could tell they   
  
were nervous. He followed the flickering pools of light cast by the   
  
flashlights and saw what it was that had gotten so much attention.  
  
An empty uniform, its color long faded with time, but still bearing   
  
some shred of the NERV insignia on the chest. It had fallen to the   
  
ground, as though previously it had been walking of its own accord.   
  
That alone would have been enough to garner some attention, but there   
  
was something else about it...  
  
The uniform had several holes in it, in an even spread over the chest.   
  
As one of the soldiers prodded it with his toe, it became evident that   
  
some of these holes were mirrored in the back, having punched straight   
  
through.  
  
Some more nervous muttering could be heard, as the Americans had   
  
started looking around. There were pockmarks on the wall, the   
  
otherwise-perfect tile ruined by holes drilled into it by...by what?  
  
"What the hell happened here?" someone asked.  
  
The lights were panning up and down the hallway, now. All along it   
  
were uniforms just like the first one, each of them fallen forgotten to   
  
the ground, each with its own set of small holes.  
  
"If there were any bodies..." Lewis said, clearly to the children and   
  
Misato, as he used Japanese, "...I'd say this was a firefight...no, not   
  
that," he continued, picking up one of the uniforms. "A slaughter."  
  
"What makes you say that?" Shinji asked, comprehension already dawning   
  
on him, but his conscious mind refusing to believe.  
  
"Look at this one," Lewis said, turning around the uniform he held. A   
  
pair of holes were sitting dead-center on the chest. "That's   
  
professional. You want someone down, _fast_..." he dropped the   
  
uniform, and drew his gun, cocking it and aiming it at the wall. You   
  
go bang, bang, two in the chest," he explained, using his laser sight   
  
on the wall. The sight moved up on the wall by a few inches. "Then   
  
bang, one in the head. Down, no questions asked."  
  
Misato was following the search of the other soldiers, some of whom had   
  
moved out ahead, prodding some of the empty uniforms as though there   
  
was something to be found in them. "Some were machine gunned," she   
  
commented.  
  
"Yeah..." Lewis agreed, nodding solemnly. "Poor bastards...this whole   
  
place was a shooting gallery." He cocked an eyebrow at Misato. "Don't   
  
suppose you have an explanation?"  
  
Misato's brow furrowed, as her mind tried to work. Shinji could see   
  
the struggle on her face, having suffered it himself on a multitude of   
  
occasions: the attempt to remember something your mind refused to   
  
recall.  
  
"There was some trouble," she said finally. "Near the end, NERV was   
  
being invaded by..." she shook her head helplessly. "I don't know.   
  
I'm sorry."  
  
"S'alright," Lewis said, holstering his gun. "Whoever came through   
  
here...they're long gone. Like that girl said," he commented, toeing   
  
the uniform at his feet.  
  
"This place is dead."  
  
***  
  
Though none knew it, Rei was true to her word. However, no one can   
  
know - or foresee - everything.   
  
Unbeknownst to all, a drop of dark, shimmering liquid made its way  
  
down from a cracked pipe, across the slope of the ceiling and hovered   
  
over the party as they walked.   
  
As if possessing sentience it moved above several members of the party,  
  
hovering above one, then moving onto the next. No one paid it any heed,  
  
for fatigue was dragging their eyes down. No one bothered to look at   
  
the drop as it moved above Misato's head, then Lewis's, then Ariel's,  
  
and then finally above the head of a dark-haired boy too tired to   
  
take note, too busy inspecting the floor as weariness demanded, too   
  
busy occupying himself with what did not matter.   
  
It was all too easy.  
  
Silent, the drop fell from the ceiling -  
  
- and trailed past Shinji's head to soak itself in the camouflage of   
  
soldier right behind him.   
  
A little later the soldier massaged his shoulder, wondering if the   
  
kevlar vest's straps were chafing, but that concern abruptly died as  
  
the group stopped and Rei informed them they were at the last door   
  
between them and their destination.   
  
***  
  
Everyone was dumbstruck, looking around the place. The sheer _size_ of   
  
Central Dogma was astounding. Even now, after the chaos both during   
  
and after Third Impact, it was enough to take your breath away. Parts   
  
of the cavernous ceiling had collapsed, but what remained standing was   
  
so high up that even their flashlights were hard-pressed to pierce its   
  
dark maw.  
  
The room was broken up into several tiers, a literal representation of   
  
the command hierarchy. Rei had led them onto the second highest level,   
  
where the main support personnel had been stationed. Rubble cluttered   
  
the floor, making footing treacherous.  
  
That anything was still working was even more amazing than the room's   
  
size. A handful of computers looked functional, indifferent to the   
  
passage of time save for some illegible words burned into their dark   
  
screens. Kensuke ran one finger over the cold metal casing of one,   
  
coming away with a load of dust. It was only logical; the air cleaning   
  
system must have failed some time shortly after Impact.  
  
Kensuke had taken his camera out almost the moment he'd come in through   
  
the door to this place. He'd been recording anything and everything   
  
the whole way, though he had not accompanied this with his usual   
  
chatter. Everyone else had been much the same way: although they   
  
knew they'd find no one here living or dead, they still couldn't shake   
  
off the feeling that they were in a tomb. In the cold air of the   
  
command center, their breath steaming in the beams of the flashlights,   
  
even the hardened soldiers seemed apprehensive of anything more than a   
  
whisper.  
  
Kensuke had found something, now. He zoomed in on a pile of fabric   
  
that was on the floor, near one of the seats. As one of the   
  
Americans' flashlights passed over the pile, he couldn't help muttering   
  
under his breath:  
  
"What the heck?"  
  
In the silent atmosphere, the quiet statement was thunderous. Heads   
  
turned to look. In moments, six flashlights were all centered on the   
  
object, lighting it up brightly.  
  
It was some kind of tan bodysuit, a uniform of some kind. Asuka came   
  
forward, tentatively grabbing it and lifting it up a little. The   
  
collar crackled with the sound of dried fluid long since seeped into   
  
the fabric. Wincing at the noise, Asuka looked down to the chest area.  
  
"It's one of ours..." she muttered. Again, the quiet whisper was like   
  
a shout against the silence.  
  
Misato and Maya exchanged glances, then looked to the other piles,   
  
sitting on the floor.  
  
"Aoba," Misato said, checking another one.  
  
"Fuyutsuki," said Maya, to yet another. She looked up, to the rest of   
  
them. "This...this is where I...where we all died..." her gaze   
  
shifting down to the uniform on the floor, she continued. "But...here   
  
we all are..."  
  
"Quite a collection," Lewis commented, trying to sound casual. "You   
  
know these people?"  
  
Misato just nodded mutely. Maya didn't even acknowledge that the   
  
American had spoken; instead, her eyes were rooted on the last   
  
collapsed uniform, sitting at the far end of the command station. From   
  
where she knelt, she could see the laptop that had been carefully set   
  
down on the floor, next to the uniform. That computer, too, was dead,   
  
its battery long since used up. Burned into its screen were the faint   
  
words, "I need you".  
  
Rei was the only one unperturbed, calmly observing their remembrance as   
  
she stood by the railing of the control center, her eyes fixed intently   
  
on the darkness down below them. Her gaze flickered to one side as she   
  
heard a measured set of footsteps approaching.  
  
^Enjoying your homecoming?^ Ariel asked, the sarcasm clearly evident.   
  
Rei at first wondered why no one had heard the girl speak. But then   
  
she realized that Ariel's lips hadn't moved at all. Her voice had   
  
sounded in Rei's head.  
  
^An interesting discovery, I must confess,^ Ariel thought at her.   
  
^Something about this place...it's amplifying something within me.   
  
Take this as a courtesy, Zero. Normally I could only communicate in   
  
this manner with my brethren.^  
  
Rei did not gratify the girl with a reaction to the telepathy. She   
  
simply answered Ariel's first question.   
  
^I am doing as I was asked,^ she thought. She said nothing of how it   
  
was odd that Ariel would know this place had been her home for as long   
  
as she could remember.  
  
Ariel crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back against the   
  
railing, next to Rei.  
  
^Do you enjoy seeing them greet their own corpses?^ Ariel thought. ^If  
  
only I'd been granted the same privilege...^ she continued,   
  
not knowing that Rei could still receive that last bit.   
  
^I have said that no harm will come to them in this place, unless   
  
they let it.^  
  
^I've heard that before - or, more precisely, someone I know very well  
  
has. But that is nothing compared to what _they_ are hearing.^   
  
^What are they hearing?^  
  
^You're a terrible liar no matter how you communicate, _Zero_. I was   
  
dead, yes _dead_, then--thanks to _you_ - but even _I_ have some   
  
inkling of what transpired here - even when it was happening, and even  
  
after you had had your way with them.^  
  
^What are they hearing?^  
  
Ariel snickered quietly. ^Is it that difficult? Memories have always   
  
been my forte. But this place is so thoroughly imbued with emotion,   
  
even something like you should have no trouble picking it up. Open   
  
your thoughts for yourself and listen.^  
  
Though Rei had no intention of doing what Ariel told her, she couldn't   
  
help but indulge her curiosity. Closing her eyes and opening her mind,  
  
she listened.  
  
And heard screams.   
  
Cries from the NERV staff, being mercilessly slaughtered by soldiers   
  
who understood as little about the situation as did their victims.  
  
^Let them have it again!^  
  
Cries of despair. Cries she had only heard as whispers on the way down   
  
here. The walls were soaked with pain much more than they were with   
  
now-vanished blood. Looking around, she could almost see what was   
  
happening then; as if the empty uniforms on the floor had risen up--  
  
like ghosts clawing from their graves--and were in the process of dying   
  
all overagain.  
  
^Ikari...did you find Yui?^ she could hear from the empty tan   
  
bodysuit.   
  
^Sempai...sempai!^ she heard from Maya's uniform, imbued as it was   
  
with fear and . . . thankfulness?  
  
Yet the cacophony did not end there. The voices ran deeper, harsher,   
  
colder. Further into the past she went -  
  
^Where's Shinji?!^  
  
- into the depths beneath her feet, swept by the secondhand emotions -  
  
^Nothing personal, kid.^  
  
- by sorrow -  
  
^We'll do the rest when you get back.^  
  
- by kindness -  
  
^I'll kill you all...kill you all...kill you all...^  
  
- by rage -  
  
^Mother?^  
  
- by bewilderment -  
  
^I knew you'd be here.^  
  
- by expectation -  
  
^Did we do the right thing?^  
  
-by worry-  
  
^Liar . . .^  
  
- by betrayal -  
  
^Take me to Yui...^  
  
- and of hope gone so wrong.   
  
There was something else though; something that she felt rising in her,  
  
as if the ghosts's screams had awakened something long asleep in her   
  
heart. It was dark, it was strong, and it was hungry. A low growl   
  
resounded in her mind - following by a fearful roar that might have   
  
shaken the Earth had it been real.   
  
^Did we do the right thing?^ Maya's voice sounded in her head one   
  
last time as she came out of her reverie.  
  
Rei's eyes popped open as she heard a scream, this one real. Her first   
  
reaction was to look at Ariel, still next to her. The girl's eyes were   
  
also open. For just a moment, Rei could see something on the girl's   
  
face: fear. Not from the shock of the quiet being so suddenly broken,   
  
but fear of something else, something more deep-seated. Fear for her   
  
own life. Had she also heard that beast, lurking in the darkness?  
  
"What? What?" Misato was shouting out, shock raising the volume of her   
  
voice.  
  
Maya was seated up against the wall, having pushed as far away as she   
  
could from the computer terminal. The woman was a shade of white most   
  
of them hadn't even thought physically possible. Her wide eyes were   
  
fixated on the uniform on the floor, the one she'd been looking at   
  
earlier.  
  
"What?" Misato asked, this time more quietly, kneeling down next to the   
  
woman. Maya's jaw quivered, as she weakly pointed towards the cream uniform.  
  
Asuka lifted the uniform's collar. "Ibuki," she read. She shook her   
  
head. "Now that is just creepy." She looked at Maya, still up against   
  
the wall. "I know it's weird seeing your old uniform," she began,   
  
picking up the bodysuit. "But that's no reason toAAAAAAAHHHHH!!"  
  
Asuka let out a scream of her own as something fell out of the uniform,   
  
onto her chest. The dark shape tumbled to the floor as the girl   
  
recoiled, jumping back two meters at least.  
  
"It grabbed me," Maya choked out. "It...it tried to grab me..."  
  
Lewis stepped forward. A combat knife slipped out of its sheath with   
  
practiced ease, and he'd driven the hard steel through the thing,   
  
neatly impaling it, before anyone could say anything more. Satisfied   
  
that it was not moving, he lifted it up into the glow of the   
  
flashlights for a closer inspection.  
  
It was a hand.  
  
The thing was old and dessicated, mummified fingers curling it into a   
  
claw. Decaying flesh fell from the thing even as he looked.  
  
"Ain't that pleasant," Lewis commented, throwing the knife and hand   
  
over the railing. He shivered, mostly for show. It was enough to   
  
elicit a few tense laughs from the other soldiers.  
  
A long silence passed, but they heard no sound of the knife   
  
hitting the ground. Everyone waited - including the soldiers, who   
  
abruptly found Lewis's joke wanting.   
  
They heard only silence.  
  
Then, a long, almost mournful, groan of aged metal bending   
  
and straining in some imaginably far distance, as if the moan of a   
  
ghost disturbed sounded.   
  
"What you all looking at me for?" said Lewis hoarsely.  
  
Misato just shrugged helplessly, while Maya hugged herself tightly,   
  
eyes glazing over. Lewis' eyes narrowed at the woman. Even though   
  
he'd said he didn't want to know, he hadn't been able to avoid noticing   
  
that the thing he'd just thrown away had been a right hand. His eyes   
  
focused on Maya's own right hand, covered as always with a tight-  
  
fitting glove. Maya was unconsciously flexing the fingers on that hand   
  
now, as though to see if they were still there.  
  
Ariel watched Maya curiously. ^So, even Zero was imperfect during her   
  
damned ascension...a few resisted to the last."   
  
"All right," he said loudly, turning away from the two Japanese women.   
  
He stated a few short commands to the soldiers, in English. One of the   
  
men asked him a question. Lewis's response was decidedly sarcastic.  
  
"All right," he said again, switching languages. "I'm having a squad   
  
stay up here, see if they can't get one of these machines working.   
  
Johnson's gonna get a power line down here. Anyone wants to stay,   
  
they're welcome. Anyone wants to turn around now, that's fine too."   
  
He waited a moment, to let that sink in. "So, anyone up for going   
  
further?"  
  
After a long delay, Shinji nodded. "Yeah," he said. "Let's go a   
  
little more."  
  
"We can't turn back now," Asuka said, joining him.  
  
Lewis nodded. "Ms. Ayanami?"  
  
"I will go."  
  
"Good. Then lead the way."  
  
They started out. Maya stayed behind, but she was the only one who   
  
made that choice. Kensuke looked as though he were considering it, but   
  
only for a moment.  
  
"Hey, Lewis-san?" he asked the American, as they proceeded deeper into   
  
the installation. "What'd that guy ask? The one who went up to get   
  
power."  
  
"He asked what he should do if any of the scientist types say anything   
  
about us messing around with their place. I told him to say they could   
  
take it up with me, that's all."  
  
Kensuke had the feeling Lewis's response had probably involved threats,   
  
namely of a Land Rover driving through a few unfortunate scientists'   
  
houses. But he put that aside. His camera came back up. Just for a   
  
moment, he focused it on Ariel, who for the first time in this trip   
  
down here wasn't too far from him. The girl looked tense about   
  
something. He thought about asking her what it was.  
  
But whatever words he may have had to say just wouldn't come out. Down   
  
here, in the halls where death had roamed freely, he thought it best to   
  
hold his peace, whenever necessary. Around him, the others seemed to   
  
agree with him. They walked on in silence.  
  
***  
  
Deeper into the maze, they went. The passage finally came to a dead   
  
end.  
  
"So what now?" Asuka asked, putting her hands on her hips.  
  
Rei glanced at Lewis, gesturing for his radio. After some hesitation,   
  
he handed it over. "Ibuki-san," Rei said calmly, into the device.  
  
"Yes?" came Maya's voice. The woman had calmed down considerably, but   
  
she still sounded anxious.  
  
"Are the computers active?"  
  
"Well...I guess. The power feed's not very reliable, but we have   
  
access to the first few levels of system architecture. Still trying to   
  
remember all my passwords..." the last part was mumbled out, more to   
  
herself than to anyone else.  
  
"Access the part for system G-138," Rei asked. She then relayed a long   
  
and complicated password.  
  
"OK..." came Maya's voice, uncertain. "How'd you know - "  
  
"Re-initialize the emergency reactor for the lower levels, Ibuki-san."  
  
The tone of Rei's voice now sounded as though she was the superior   
  
here, and Maya just her subordinate officer. Some annoyance came   
  
through Maya's voice in her next communication.  
  
"All right, _ma'am_, I think that's it."  
  
Everyone jumped a little as the ground shivered under them.  
  
"What the..." someone said, as the platform they stood on began to   
  
descend. Around them, red emergency lights flashed on, putting   
  
everything into crimson hues. A few soldiers still wearing their night   
  
vision goggles grunted in mild pain, their goggles amplifying the light   
  
a bit too much for their comfort. They switched off the gear, relying   
  
instead on the blood-red lights and the more reliable glare from their   
  
own flashlights.  
  
They were riding some kind of elevator down. It seemed to be riding in   
  
the center of a double helix, humming down the intricately curving   
  
rails smoothly enough that they could almost convince themselves that   
  
they weren't moving. Some of the rails looked damaged, one section   
  
bent dangerously, but the elevator continued its descent all the same.  
  
Misato let out a slow breath, as they rode the elevator. She   
  
remembered this. Judging from the look on Shinji's face, he did, too.   
  
She couldn't quite remember what came next, but she knew that she'd   
  
seen it in the past at some point, and that it would all be painfully   
  
familiar when she saw it again.  
  
^At least I don't have to worry about finding _my_ old uniform down   
  
here,^ she reasoned.  
  
Rei's radio hissed. "...sato?" Maya's voice asked. "Misato? Are you   
  
there?"  
  
Rei obediently handed the radio over to the older woman. "Yeah?"   
  
Misato asked into the device.  
  
"Misato, I..." Maya's voice paused, then came back much more quietly,   
  
so much so that Misato was forced to put the speaker to her ear.  
  
"Misato, don't say anything, just yet. I don't think any of these   
  
people up here can speak Japanese, but...just listen. Look, whatever   
  
it is I turned on a minute ago gave us some more power up here, too. I   
  
think I can access most of the system."  
  
Misato waited for more. It came. "And, well...there was some kind of   
  
alert from the sensory equipment. I guess one radar station somewhere   
  
wasn't wiped out, because it was still transmitting data here. I   
  
looked at it, and it told me there was some kind of...I guess it's an   
  
invader, that's what the computer says...something off our coast. Of   
  
Japan, I mean."  
  
Another pause. "Okay, I'm getting a better look at it now. Misato,   
  
it's a nuclear submarine, just off the east coast of Japan. I think   
  
it's an American model, a big missile carrier. But I don't see why..."  
  
"Just wait," Misato whispered into the radio.  
  
"Do you think it's anything important?" Maya asked, more loudly, and   
  
definitely more nervously.  
  
"I don't know, probably not," Misato lied. "Just forget about it for   
  
now."  
  
"OK."  
  
Misato handed the radio back to Rei. A few moments later, she couldn't   
  
resist glancing at Lewis, briefly. The man looked as confident as   
  
ever, even adjusting the sunglasses hanging out of his shirt pocket.   
  
Misato had no idea why the man would've brought sunglasses down here,   
  
especially when it was the middle of the night outside, to boot. But   
  
those weren't really her concern, right now.  
  
She remembered what she'd seen, during the last attack. Lewis on the   
  
phone, reading a code off of some slip of paper. She also remembered   
  
how the normally open American clammed up whenever she tried to bring   
  
up the topic. She had her suspicions about what Maya had found.   
  
Confirmation would have to wait, though. Preferably when the man   
  
didn't have a troop of armed men around to silence anyone who asked too   
  
many questions. Would he do that? She wasn't sure. Lewis made   
  
threats to pretty much everyone, though they sounded casual enough. At   
  
he moment, Misato wasn't willing to take the risk of the threats   
  
suddenly becoming serious.   
  
"Taking it as it comes, Katsuragi?" Lewis asked, noting her attention   
  
out the corner of his eye.  
  
Misato stiffened for a moment, but then nodded. "Doing what I can."  
  
"Fair enough." Lewis shrugged his shoulders back, looking up to the   
  
ceiling. "This place is pretty damn impressive. Got security like one   
  
of our nuke silos. Better, even."  
  
"It should," Misato replied, trying to sound casual. "The things we   
  
stored here were more dangerous than nukes." At a questioning glance   
  
from Lewis, she continued. "The Evas. Three just like the one   
  
outside."  
  
"Damn." It was his only reply.  
  
They continued their descent.  
  
***  
  
So close, and yet so far. That seemed the appropriate phrase, at the   
  
moment.  
  
Some new, large room stood less than a dozen meters away according to   
  
Maya's estimate. But they'd reached a dead end. At least half a meter   
  
of solid steel blocked the way, making an impenetrable wall.  
  
"It's locked," Shinji said to no one in particular, looking at the   
  
blank wall that sharply ended the hallway they were in. He pointed up,   
  
to a nearly invisible crease running along the width of the wall.   
  
"It's a...door, I think," he said. "But it's locked."  
  
"That is correct," Rei agreed, standing not too far off from him.   
  
Shinji glanced at her, but the girl's eyes were rooted firmly on the   
  
dead end in front of them.  
  
Lewis took the opportunity to scan the door with his flashlight.  
  
"I think there's something written here . . . " he said, as he began  
  
to read aloud the warning above the door:   
  
"KEEP OUT. Something in Japanese below it, probably RESTRICTED AREA.  
  
MAIN LCL PLANT:  
  
"What's LCL, anyway?" Lewis muttered, half a question.  
  
Misato stepped up next to Lewis, following along as he read the rest of   
  
the message.  
  
CIRCULATION LINE NO.3. TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT. VIOLATORS   
  
WILL BE LIABLE FOR PENALTIES OF UP TO 10 YEARS IMPRISONMENT, $100,000   
  
FINE, OR BOTH.   
  
"Hmph. And to think back home all Area 51 had was a sign saying 'DO NOT   
  
TRESPASS. USE OF DEADLY FORCE AUTHORIZED.' What are you hiding here,   
  
anyway? A flying saucer?"  
  
Misato blinked, saying nothing. Her eyes flickered with recognition,   
  
briefly. Her breath caught in her throat, enough to get Lewis'   
  
attention.  
  
"Something wrong, Katsuragi?"  
  
"Kaji..." she muttered. Shaking her head, she answered the man. "It's   
  
just...I remember being down here before. A man I knew...showed me   
  
this place."  
  
"Hell of a place to go on a date." Dead silence answered this feeble   
  
attempt at a joke. "Well then. Any way to open it?" Lewis asked,   
  
gruffly. "Or do we turn around and go back?"  
  
Rei mutely pointed to the wall. Most of the group looked, following   
  
her finger. Sure enough, next to the door was a tiny slot, just about   
  
big enough to admit something the size of a credit card.  
  
"A keycard is used here," Rei explained. "Only three such cards were   
  
ever made."  
  
Lewis stared at the small device, looking so insignificant, but barring   
  
their entrance as well as a castle gate. "Interesting," he said,   
  
quietly. "Anything worth _that_ kind of security...be wrong for us to   
  
just leave it behind, eh?" Finally, he looked back down to one of his   
  
men and gave a nod.  
  
"See what you can do with it, Johnson."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
The Americans backed down the hallway a few meters, as Johnson went to   
  
the huge door and started looking at it intently, as though able to   
  
open it with intensity alone. Shinji could only shake his head. If   
  
staring at the door would open it, the thing would have opened the   
  
second Rei had even gotten in view of the massive door.  
  
"What're you people hidin' back here, anyway?" Lewis asked. No one   
  
offered any response. Misato looked for a moment as though she might   
  
say something, but ultimately she just shrugged, helplessly. Much like   
  
the other Japanese, her memory was a blank spot, as far as these lower   
  
levels went.   
  
There hadn't been much to find, so far. The destruction that had   
  
plagued the upper levels of NERV had been visited on this place ten   
  
times over. The whole trip had been a long walk through ruins. Even   
  
though it was smashed, they'd been able to tell that important things   
  
had been kept here. But the place just hadn't been built to withstand   
  
the sort of force that had come down on it two years ago.  
  
"Ibuki, can you get these doors open?" Asuka was asking, into the   
  
borrowed radio.  
  
"I think so," Maya's voice crackled back in response. "I can get the   
  
key card scanner online, and if the doors are powered then they should   
  
open if we can crack the code on it. It's going to take awhile."  
  
"How long?"  
  
A pause. "I don't know, Soryu. That part of NERV's operations goes   
  
straight through the MAGI. Only sem...Akagi knows all the passwords,   
  
so I'm going to have to work on it." Another pause. "The system shows   
  
that Commander Ikari locked it down to all but his authorization some   
  
years ago. Akagi could probably hack through it, or - " she paused for   
  
a second " - I remember she told me about some 'back door', once. But   
  
hacking could take days, and there's no telling if that 'back door' is   
  
still functional."  
  
Asuka let out an exasperated sigh in response to this. "Great," she   
  
said, not to Maya this time. "So we came all this way for nothing."  
  
"Just hang on a minute, fraulein," Lewis said, holding up one hand as   
  
though trying to slow Asuka down.  
  
"I'll hang on," Asuka replied, a little annoyed. "But we still have to   
  
go back. Ibuki's a genius at this stuff, probably at least as good as   
  
Akagi...well, maybe not, but she's good. It takes an electronics   
  
expert to..."  
  
"Johnson's not an electronics expert."  
  
Asuka gave the man an annoyed glance for the interruption, then   
  
continued. "Whatever. That just means it'd take your man even longer.   
  
We just have to try again later."  
  
Lewis was about to reply, but was cut off as Johnson came back down the   
  
hall. The two spoke briefly in English, Lewis finally nodding and   
  
patting Johnson on the back as the other man jogged back down the   
  
hallway.  
  
"OK, we're headed back!" Asuka was announcing, her hands on her hips.   
  
"Lewis," she said to the American, "do you have anyone who can back up   
  
Ibuki in hacking the MAGI?"  
  
Lewis shrugged. "Yeah," he replied, noncommittally. "But like I said,   
  
Johnson's not an electronics expert. By the way, you might want to   
  
cover your ears."  
  
Despite the years of schooling, Shinji was still unfamiliar with the   
  
English language. However, he'd seen enough of Kensuke's old war   
  
movies to know what "fire in the hole," meant. So when Johnson yelled   
  
out that exact phrase, he reflexively plugged his ears.  
  
The next thing he knew, the very ground under them shook. Shinji   
  
stumbled, trying to catch his balance when the sound hit. Even with   
  
his ears plugged, it was like a tidal wave washing over him. A roaring   
  
sound, ripping through his skull and drowning out his perceptions of   
  
everything other than just how _loud_ this was.  
  
When it finally passed, he opened his eyes. He found he was on the   
  
floor, having dropped to his knees from the pain. Even now, with the   
  
sound long passed, his head was pounding. Removing his fingers from   
  
his ears, he found that his ears were ringing. But even over than   
  
noise, he could hear Lewis 'talking' to Asuka. It was a relative term   
  
to say talking, as the man was practically shouting so he could be   
  
heard.  
  
"I tell ya!" he shouted. "Nothing quite like a metal hallway to   
  
amplify sound, eh?"  
  
"WHAT?" Asuka shouted back.  
  
"That's what you get for not listening!" Lewis replied. "You probably   
  
can't even hear what I'm saying, can you?"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"I got the best job in the world, I tell you!" Lewis proclaimed,   
  
turning away from Asuka and heading down the now-smoking hallway. "I   
  
get a new reason to love it every day!"  
  
Shinji could only shake his head and follow along behind, but not   
  
before retrieving Asuka, leading her down the hallway by the hand and   
  
hoping her hearing would come back soon.  
  
Now at the end of the hallway, there was a door. Rather, there was a   
  
doorway cut perfectly into the existing door, which remained closed. A   
  
rectangle, roughly the size of a doorway, had been sliced out of the   
  
thick steel. The edges of the hole looked like they were glowing.  
  
"That was just flat-out brazen," Misato was saying.  
  
"Yeah, I guess."  
  
"Maj...Colonel, don't you know what could've happened?" the woman   
  
asked, angrily. Now that most people's hearing was returning, they   
  
were speaking at a more normal volume.  
  
"I had some idea."  
  
"Some idea?! Colonel, you saw the security on the door alone! Who's   
  
to say there weren't a dozen other defenses you didn't see? Ones   
  
designed to carry out that 'shoot on sight' order?"  
  
"I figured as much."  
  
"Your fireworks could've set them all off! We'd have been mowed down!"  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
Misato shook her head. "Well, if you knew, why'd you _blast_ when you   
  
knew we were going to get the door open anyway?"  
  
Lewis leaned down a little, so his eyes were on a level with Misato's.   
  
He didn't have to lean much, but the condescension was still evident.  
  
"It's quicker," he said, matter-of-factly.  
  
Lewis stood up straight again. "All right, everyone in!" he ordered.   
  
He looked back to Misato. "Sorry Katsuragi, but according to what I'm   
  
hearing, I've got a day, maybe two, before that other big robot comes   
  
back, probably pissed off about that arm you people hacked off. So I'm   
  
in a hurry, right now. Anything we find that might be useful,   
  
well..." he shrugged and gestured to the freshly cut hole. "Works on   
  
the nuke silos."  
  
Shinji found he really couldn't blame the man. He wasn't too thrilled   
  
about this American taking risks with other people's lives like that,   
  
but at least Lewis knew what had to be done. He followed the others   
  
through the hole, everyone going one at a time, as soon as the metal   
  
had cooled enough to allow people through.  
  
He was not prepared for what waited on the other side.  
  
Much like the rest of NERV, it was a simple room, but built to massive   
  
proportions. This room could have held all of Central Dogma easily.   
  
The floor didn't continue very far, though, ending not far from the   
  
door. Beyond that, the ground terminated in a sudden drop into a pool,   
  
partially filled with what looked like LCL.  
  
^If this was ever full,^ Shinji thought, looking over the huge expanse,   
  
^it'd have been more LCL than I'd ever seen.^ He looked around a   
  
little more. ^Where'd it all go, I wonder?^  
  
The room carried one feature, again simple yet massive. A red   
  
cross, built to such dimensions that it would have easily stood as tall   
  
as an Eva, was affixed to the far wall. Its otherwise perfectly smooth   
  
surface was marred at either end of the crosspiece, by bolts the size   
  
of which Shinji could not believe.  
  
^It looks like something was held...no, bound...no, _crucified_ there,^   
  
he thought. ^But...what?^  
  
Something tugged at his consciousness, a memory he pushed back by   
  
reflex. Ever since awakening on the beach so many years ago, there'd   
  
been many, many things he'd made himself forget, for fear that   
  
recollection would drive him mad. Now, standing in this room, he could   
  
almost _feel_ them fighting to get out of their cage, the memories from   
  
so long ago threatening to implode his skull. His ears began ringing.  
  
He closed his eyes, trying to force it back, resorting to that old   
  
tactic. But for whatever reason, his mind refused to let him run this   
  
time. Shinji covered his ears, as the floodgates of his memory began   
  
to give way.  
  
Pain. His hands had been punctured by something. He'd been picked up,   
  
lifted off the ground, and pierced like whatever poor thing had been   
  
crucified here. Then there'd been something else, something powerful,   
  
sliding into his body, through his side...  
  
A brief flash, a glimpse of Ariel, appeared in his vision, at this   
  
thought. He could not fathom why.  
  
The ground had been long gone, reduced to a vision far below him. And   
  
yet still, he'd been rising, rising ever higher into the sky. The air   
  
had become thick, crackling with energy, as something had come up from   
  
below him...  
  
...something powerful...  
  
...something _huge_...  
  
...something...familiar...  
  
He shook. His skull felt like it was caving in and exploding all at   
  
once. He shook again, and his eyes burst open.  
  
He was face to face with a familiar set of blue eyes, and became aware   
  
that the shaking was not of his own volition. He could feel pressure   
  
on his arms, so hard that the circulation was being cut off.  
  
"Hey!" Asuka was shouting. "Hey, are you there?"  
  
Shinji shuddered, feeling his own fingers up on his face, digging into   
  
the skin. He slowly lowered his hands, looking at his palms, briefly   
  
seeing them punctured, bloodless, helpless. But when he blinked, they   
  
were whole again, still bearing some burn marks from before, when he'd   
  
tried to reach Rei, during the last battle with the Evas.  
  
"I'm...okay..." he said, looking back at Asuka with slightly glazed   
  
eyes. He shook his head. "Asuka, I'm fine. I'm here."  
  
The girl kept staring at him, the worry evident on her face. But after   
  
a few moments, she backed away from him, releasing her deathgrip on his   
  
shoulders.   
  
"Baka," she muttered, turning quickly away, showing him her back. She   
  
looked down at her feet. "We should get out of here," she said,   
  
quietly, to no one in particular. "There's...nothing here."  
  
Shinji heard her, but his attention was not on her. His gaze had been   
  
drawn elsewhere, to the edge of the lake of LCL. There, he could see a   
  
familiar blue-haired girl, kneeling by the edge, holding something in   
  
her hands.  
  
But even as he watched, Rei stood, her stare still on the item held   
  
protectively in her hands. She looked up suddenly, as though hearing   
  
someone, though none of the people there had spoken. She turned   
  
slowly, looking directly at Shinji.  
  
Shinji could feel his eyes and face burning, not with embarassment, but  
  
with something darker, something deadlier. He knew not its name but it   
  
seized the breath in his throat and menaced his sight until he was left  
  
seeing the same shade of red as Rei's eyes.   
  
Those eyes, those pools of crimson light returned his stare, but they   
  
were not empty this time. Instead, they blazed with...defiance?   
  
refusal? It was as if she was denying the accusation he didn't know   
  
he was sending in his eyes, refusing to be marked 'guilty' over a crime  
  
he had forgotten.   
  
Her hands dropped to her sides, and Shinji saw, hanging from her   
  
fingers, a set of broken glasses. With a flick of her wrist, the girl   
  
cast them into the lake.   
  
All the while, her eyes never left Shinji's.  
  
***  
  
Had anyone been looking at Ariel, they'd have wondered if something was   
  
wrong with her. Shortly after seeing the cross, the girl's eyes had   
  
widened considerably. She'd gone to her knees, looking not shocked,   
  
but reverent. She'd folded her hands in front of her chest, closing   
  
her eyes as though in prayer.  
  
^Thank you, Mother,^ she thought to herself. ^For allowing me to be   
  
the second of your true children to enter into this sanctum, both a   
  
prison and a gateway to freedom. Though I am late...and you are   
  
forever gone...I am here.^  
  
^As am I.^  
  
Ariel's eyes snapped open. She'd heard it, a voice sounding as though   
  
it were right next to her. She did not turn her head, though. She'd   
  
recognized the voice, and knew it did not come from any of those she   
  
stood among. Hearing it, in such clarity, was enough to make her   
  
tremble.  
  
"We are done, here." Rei's voice said, aloud. "There is nothing more   
  
to be found."  
  
"Hell of a letdown," Lewis said. "What kind of moron builds a room   
  
like this just to hold a big cross? You people come down here for   
  
sermons?"  
  
Ariel got to her feet, now aware of little other than the pulse ringing   
  
in her ears. She'd immediately known who to look for, the second she'd   
  
heard that voice in her mind. She turned slowly around, turning her   
  
eyes to the opening in the door. She could just see Rei heading for it   
  
now.  
  
"Wait," she called, weakly. She started after the girl, heading for   
  
the door.  
  
"Wait," she said, a bit more loudly. "Don't go, not yet."  
  
"Hey, what's this?" one of the American soldiers said, behind her.   
  
Something in his voice made Ariel stop cold, whirling about where she   
  
stood.  
  
One soldier - a sergeant, she noticed in passing - was leaning over the   
  
edge of the dry ground, absentmindedly rubbing at his shoulder. He   
  
looked down into the small lake of LCL that lay below.  
  
"No!" Ariel screamed. "Don't - !"  
  
Too late. The soldier slipped on nothing, losing his balance and   
  
tumbling forwards, splashing into the lake. Even though the lake   
  
seemed depleted, he still sank entirely into it, drawn down by the   
  
weight of his gear, not even having the time to cry out in surprise.  
  
There was a little cursing as the other soldiers lowered a rope down   
  
the wall of the pool and pulled the man who dropped back up to the   
  
surface, laughing at the slip and helping the man get the congealed LCL   
  
out of his gear, all completely oblivious to the fact that that was so   
  
clear in Ariel's eyes.  
  
Ariel tried to call out to them, but her throat had closed. She could   
  
only back up, slowly, heading for the door. No conscious thought went   
  
into her actions; simply the primal urge to prolong her own life.  
  
She bumped into something solid. Ariel whirled, immediately greeted by   
  
Rei's stoic face. Ariel started in surprise. A moment later though,   
  
she did not care. Rei's eyes hardened, and Ariel heard the girl's   
  
voice in her mind.  
  
^Is this your doing?^ she asked. Ariel said nothing; speech was slow   
  
in coming to her, and her thoughts were too muddled by panic to compose   
  
a telepathic response. She opened her mouth to try answering, but was   
  
cut off, as a gunshot rang out.  
  
Rei's crimson eyes read Ariel's face in a heartbeat, and she   
  
understood. Grabbing Ariel with strength belied by her small arms, Rei   
  
shoved the girl behind her, in the general direction of the doorway.  
  
Everyone else was frozen. In the hand of the soldier that had fallen   
  
into the LCL, a handgun was firmly seated, its barrel smoking. The   
  
spent shell casing hit the ground just before the body of one of the   
  
other soldiers. Suddenly the floor was stained with more blood than   
  
some of them had ever thought possible.  
  
The soldier with the gun was turning slowly, surely, towards the rest   
  
of the group. Lewis shoved his way forward.  
  
"Gray, what in the world - "  
  
He was cut off as another shot cracked. Lewis jerked, his body   
  
twisting to one side suddenly. Yet another bullet hit him in the gut,   
  
doubling him over. The big man collapsed in a heap, even as the glow   
  
of laser light streaked through the smoky air, centering on the chest   
  
of the armed soldier, whose body was now spattered with blood, slowly   
  
dissolving into the LCL on his clothes.  
  
All other sound was then drowned out instantly, by the barking reports   
  
of assault rifles. Many of the Japanese slammed their hands over their   
  
ears, though their eyes remained wide open, not believing how quickly   
  
things had happened.  
  
The attacking soldier was blasted backwards by the impact of a dozen   
  
rounds into his chest. He almost flew, lifted off the ground and   
  
driven back into the LCL.  
  
"We need to evacuate," Rei announced as soon as the echos of the shots   
  
had faded. Her voice was as calm as ever, but loud enough that   
  
everyone could hear her, even those who still sat with their hands over   
  
their ears.  
  
Shinji and the others looked at her. For the moment, no one bothered   
  
asking how she knew what to do. They only knew that, at the moment,   
  
the cold determination that was always on Rei's face was something they   
  
needed to see.  
  
The soldiers weren't listening, however. They were on Lewis in an   
  
instant, kneeling down next to their fallen commander.  
  
"We need to get out," Rei said. "Now." People began to move. It was   
  
limited to the Japanese, but it was better than nothing. Already, they   
  
could hear something moving in the LCL.  
  
They scrambled through the opening in the door, forced to go one at a   
  
time. They tried not to look back, even as they heard more shouts from   
  
the Americans, and the 'click' of trigger safeties being released.  
  
"What the hell?" Asuka shouted, once she was out in the hallway with   
  
the others. "What's going on?"  
  
She got no responses, though; several of the Japanese turned to look in   
  
surprise as they heard Lewis groan. The man crawled through the   
  
doorway, waving off the assistance of his men.  
  
"Get off," he muttered. "It's not that bad."  
  
"We need to evacuate," Rei said, quietly. This time, though, no one   
  
listened.  
  
"Lewis-san?" Kensuke asked, disbelievingly.  
  
"How're you even standing?" Misato asked, also rather surprised at the   
  
American's apparent health. "Don't tell me bullets avoid you."  
  
"Only when it really matters," Lewis replied, grinning a little. He   
  
rapped one fist into his chest, making a loud thud of knuckles on   
  
something more substantial than just flesh.  
  
"Ounce of prevention," he said, still grinning a little. His   
  
nonchalant attitude, however, evaporated entirely at the sound of   
  
something wet moving over the floor of the room they'd just come from.  
  
"You people get out of here," he said to the Japanese. He jerked his   
  
chin at one of the soldiers, saying something with just his eyes. The   
  
soldier apparently understood, as he nodded and tossed Lewis his rifle.  
  
"Conway'll get you out of here," Lewis explained, even as his hands   
  
readied the rifle with smooth, reflexive motions. "This is our   
  
problem," he finished, as the safety clicked off.  
  
"This is not your affair," Rei cut in. Everyone looked to her again.   
  
If she noticed the attention, she didn't show it. "You cannot defeat   
  
him. You cannot kill him."  
  
It was Lewis' turn to look incredulous. "I know a few things about   
  
guns, girl," he snapped back. He muttered something under his breath   
  
as he turned towards the door, though adrenaline raised his voice to   
  
the point where everyone could hear it:  
  
"I know how to deal with traitors, too."  
  
"Hey," Misato said, getting Lewis' attention. The big man met her   
  
eyes. "Don't do anything stupid, down here. Something's wrong with   
  
this."  
  
"Yeah, I know," he grumbled. He paused, as though thinking of   
  
something. "You know how to work a gun, Katsuragi?"  
  
Misato hesitated a moment before nodding. "Haven't used one since   
  
Third - "  
  
She was cut off as Lewis smoothly removed his .45 from his hip holster   
  
and tossed it to her. "Fifteen rounds. You gotta use 'em, make 'em   
  
count, Katsuragi."  
  
"Colonel," Misato said, confused, even as her hands snatched the gun   
  
out of the air. Switching her grip, she held it in one hand, finger   
  
resting on the trigger. Even if her mind had forgotten, her hands   
  
remembered what to do with a gun. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Don't worry, I'm set," he said, patting his rifle. "And if this   
  
sucker don't do the job..." he reached behind his back, coming back   
  
with a black handgun that looked like a cannon trying its damndest to   
  
be a pistol. "I'll get by."  
  
Kensuke's eyes widened, looking at the gun. "Desert Eagle..." he   
  
whispered, under his breath.  
  
"Just get out of here," Lewis repeated. Something appeared in the pool   
  
of light that was now fixed on the door, and the large handgun vanished   
  
behind his back again. All further conversation was instantly ruled   
  
out, by the deafening artificial thunder of semiautomatic fire.  
  
Asuka immediately gestured for everyone to leave. Seeing someone whose   
  
command they knew to be true, the Japanese personnel followed, along   
  
with the man Conway, whose gun Lewis now had. Asuka now led the way,   
  
moving through the corridors back the way they'd come.  
  
The crack of gunfire continued for almost a full minute, even after the   
  
screams of men began to get mixed in with them. Everyone kept moving.   
  
The distance didn't seem to make any difference on the noise made; it   
  
seemed there truly was nothing like a metal corridor for amplifying   
  
sound.  
  
Asuka led them at a rapid pace, just shy of running, as she knew they   
  
could do without the panic a full-blown run would probably induce into   
  
everyone. Shinji caught up to the girl as they moved. By the time   
  
they'd reached the elevator, Shinji touched Asuka's shoulder.  
  
"What?" Asuka snapped, the strain evident in her expression.  
  
"We should wait," Shinji replied almost immediately, getting it out   
  
before hesitation could get the better part of him. "This is the only   
  
way out."  
  
Asuka looked like she was going to say something to the contrary.   
  
"Please," Shinji interrupted. He felt his voice shake with fear, an   
  
emotion he could see mirrored in Asuka's eyes. It wasn't fear of death   
  
that was coming through, though that emotion was certainly present in   
  
the boy. Rather, it was the fear that Rei had been right in what she'd   
  
said earlier: that guns would not work. The steadily declining volume   
  
of fire coming from the other end of the hall was no help in allaying   
  
this fear.  
  
"All right," Asuka said finally. "Two minutes," she added on   
  
immediately afterwards, holding up two fingers for emphasis. "No   
  
longer, got it?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
They boarded the elevator. The one American pulled a .45 from a hip   
  
holster. Misato did likewise, chambering the gun, snapping off the   
  
safety, and cocking it for good measure. Some of the others clenched   
  
their fists, having no other weapons at their disposal.  
  
It was then that the lights began to flicker. The blood-red emergency   
  
lights switched off, then on again for a heart-stopping moment, then   
  
finally died utterly, plunging the group into darkness. The group   
  
tensed, but raw adrenaline, the drive to _live_, kept them from   
  
breaking down, dissolving into a panic. That, and soon afterwards the   
  
American's flashlight lit up. At least they had some way to see.  
  
The radio at Misato's hip crackled. "...ato?" came Maya's staticky   
  
voice. "Misato, are you there?"  
  
"Yeah?" Misato replied. "We just lost the lights, Maya. What's   
  
happening up there?"  
  
"...I don't know," came the reply, the woman's frustration evident even   
  
through the static. "It's like a...it's like someone put a virus in   
  
here! The MAGI are going berserk." There was a pause, just long   
  
enough for everyone to wonder if the radio had died, too. "We're...  
  
_I'm_ struggling up here just to hold things together."  
  
"Great," Misato groaned out. "Is there another way out of here?"  
  
"Out of where?"  
  
"This way," came Rei's voice. In the dim light, Rei was pointing to   
  
one of the walls. The flashlight turned, bringing more intense   
  
illumination to the indicated location. "There is an emergency   
  
ladder."  
  
"Maya, forget I asked." Misato said into the radio. "Just get the   
  
lights back on!"  
  
"...I'll try." Maya sounded determined when she said it, but nearly   
  
everyone could tell from her voice: she couldn't do it anytime soon.  
  
They were on their own.  
  
***  
  
This place...seemed familiar.  
  
He'd been here before, he knew it. But looking at it from a different   
  
vantage point. This form...it was weak. Flesh and bone, so easily   
  
broken. Not like silicon and steel. Only through nanosecond-quick   
  
reflexes had he been able to catch the injuries inflicted before they   
  
had become fatal. It was such a difference; before, he'd been   
  
invincible, in a form the Lilum could not even touch, even with their   
  
mighty Evas. The Evas had been his for the taking, if only for a   
  
moment.  
  
But now...he was confined to a much more mundane form. Like the Evas   
  
in many ways, but so much different. Smaller. But, as his actions had   
  
proven earlier, still highly efficient. There were some advantages, of   
  
course: he could not be outthought, outperformed by some lilum who had   
  
invaded his home, tricked into evolving himself out of existence.  
  
He knew this installation; every square inch was clear in his mind,   
  
imprinted from his existence before the Unification. He knew he had   
  
been within Terminal Dogma, before. He'd known that was where it had   
  
all happened. But wasting time with thoughts on days gone by would   
  
have been inefficient. Idle thoughts ran counter to optimization, and   
  
optimization was paramount, the very road to perfection.  
  
An AT field was enough to supplement the body's meager defenses. The   
  
weapon this human shell carried - knowledge of which was another gift   
  
of his prior existence - seemed adequate for defeating those in his   
  
way, for the moment at least. Once he became proficient in   
  
manipulating the AT field from his current host, this primitive weapon   
  
would no longer be necessary.  
  
Zero was ahead of him. He could sense her presence, a resonance   
  
against his soul. He was proceeding towards her. Even if it destroyed   
  
him, he would bring her down. The other one...Armisael as dubbed by   
  
the Lilum...had told him success was inevitable. Zero could not yet   
  
summon the force needed to stop him, not without her precious   
  
Evangelion. An Eva would not fit within these tight confines. A more   
  
efficient body such as the one he inhabited now was much better suited   
  
to the task.  
  
Only one problem remained: that of sight. He could sense Zero, but   
  
that sense could only tell him how close she was. Though he remembered   
  
this installation from before the Unification, it seemed to have   
  
changed since then. He kept stumbling. There also remained the fact   
  
that some lilum were bent on stopping him. Now, with the power cut and   
  
the lights off, he was unable to see.  
  
A discovery. Resting in one of the pouches strapped to the body were a   
  
pair of heavy goggles. Accessing the accumulated memories from both   
  
his previous host and his current one, he devised their use.  
  
Faintly glowing lines of energy appeared momentarily, forming a broad   
  
skein over the pouch. Something shifted within, and finally the   
  
goggles floated out of their own accord, similarly adorned with the   
  
glowing pattern, which was now beginning to resemble an electronic   
  
circuit. They floated to rest over his eyes, and held fast, joined to   
  
him by the pattern of carefully manipulated energies.  
  
The device worked as he'd anticipated. The darkness fled before his   
  
new eyes, giving him a clear view of all, rendered in shades of green.   
  
Excellent. His efficiency had just been improved significantly.  
  
He continued forward, more certain of his way, now. Zero would fall,   
  
that outcome was assured.  
  
***  
  
They were reaching the top of the ladder just as they began to hear   
  
shouts from the bottom.  
  
Down below, they could hear voices, indistinct from the distance, and   
  
drowned out by the occasional gunshot.  
  
"Lewis-san!" Kensuke shouted down the ladder, his voice echoing off the   
  
sides of the shaft. "Up here! Hurry!"  
  
"Baka!" Asuka shouted. "Don't get their attention up he - "  
  
"Sir!" the American soldier was now yelling down the shaft, pushing   
  
Kensuke out of the way. "Sir, we're up here!" Asuka just rolled her   
  
eyes.  
  
The shouts were approaching, now. Shining a flashlight down the shaft,   
  
they could see humanoid forms clambering up the ladder, struggling to   
  
hang onto awkward rifles while ascending. Still at the bottom of the   
  
shaft, they could hear gunshots ringing out, the crack of the noise   
  
rolling up the shaft like thunder.  
  
As the first American soldier emerged, they heard a yell of pain from   
  
the bottom of the shaft, followed by a few more shots. Then there was   
  
just silence from below, even as more soldiers came out.  
  
"What the fuck!" Lewis was shouting, the moment he appeared over the   
  
ladder. "Bullets ain't doing a goddamn - "  
  
He was cut off by one single, ringing shot. A soldier still on the   
  
ladder jerked suddenly, then went limp, falling before anyone could   
  
catch him.  
  
Lewis cursed again and snapped his fingers, holding out one hand to   
  
accept something. One of the soldiers handed him a small, fist-shaped   
  
lump, indistinguishable in the dark, with nothing but frantically   
  
moving flashlights to see by. Lewis pulled something from the lump   
  
with his teeth.  
  
"Fire in the hole!" he shouted, dropping the object down the shaft. He   
  
and some of the other soldiers immediately took up positions next to   
  
the exit.  
  
The floor shook with the reverberations of the distant explosion.   
  
Moments later, an eruption of noise and smoke blasted out the exit of   
  
the shaft. Two of the soldiers swiveled around and aimed down the   
  
ladder with their rifles, following up on the grenade with the smaller   
  
explosions coming from their guns. After a half-dozen rounds, they   
  
backed away, dropping empty clips out of their rifles.  
  
They were moving again soon after, on simultaneous orders from Lewis   
  
and Asuka. Lewis explained as they jogged down the hallway.  
  
"We must've fired a hundred rounds at him," he said, in between   
  
breaths. "No way could we have all missed. Even a Kevlar vest won't   
  
stop that much. Not rifle rounds, not at this range..."  
  
"It is because he is no longer your man," Rei said. "Something   
  
else is at work."  
  
Lewis said nothing, he just kept running. Looking over his shoulder,   
  
he could see a dark, humanoid form crawling out the exit to the ladder.  
  
"In here!" Asuka shouted. Even though she spoke Japanese, the   
  
Americans were still able to pick up on what she meant. The group   
  
ducked through a doorway, which led to yet another hall in the   
  
labyrinth that was NERV.  
  
Asuka pointed out the manual door mechanism even before they were all   
  
through. Lewis and another soldier turned the heavy pulley, their   
  
subdued grunts barely audible over the screech of the door in its   
  
rusted track. When the heavy door panels finally clicked shut, the   
  
group seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief.  
  
"Any ideas?" Asuka was asking.  
  
"We need to get out," Shinji answered immediately. "Back to the   
  
command center, I mean. Maybe we can do something there."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"I don't know!" Shinji shot back, fear adding an edge to his voice that   
  
he was instantly ashamed of hearing. "I don't know," he said, more   
  
subdued. "Maybe Ibuki-san can tell us something."  
  
All further argument was cut off, however, as they heard something that   
  
made their hearts all jump: a loud bang, of a fist on the door.  
  
"What're these made of?" Lewis asked, his hands in his pockets as he   
  
looked the door up and down.  
  
"They're solid," Asuka answered. "And the only manual opener is on   
  
this side, so we'll be fine."  
  
"All right," Lewis said, stepping back from the door, even as more   
  
bangs resounded from the other side. "You kids get moving, my guys'll   
  
be along in a sec."  
  
Shinji nodded and gestured for the others to follow. He started up the   
  
hallway, quickly relinquishing guidance to Rei as he realized she was   
  
the one who had any idea of which way to go.  
  
Misato followed closely behind, keeping an eye on the children. She   
  
looked over her shoulder, back at the Americans...  
  
...and froze.  
  
It hadn't registered in her mind that the pounding on the door had   
  
stopped a few moments ago. But she did notice something, now: the seam   
  
where the doors came together had cracked. No more than a few   
  
millimeters, but enough to hear heavy breathing from the other side.   
  
The figure outside the door grunted, and the doors screeched open   
  
another few millimeters.  
  
Lewis spotted this, as well. He dove for the manual wheel, just as   
  
another pulse came. He fought against it for all he was worth, his   
  
muscles straining against something that had the force of an avalanche.  
  
Misato looked back to the children, who'd stopped at the sound of the   
  
door being forced open.  
  
"Go!" she shouted at them. "Get back to the command center!" Without   
  
waiting to see if they listened, she ran back to the door, diving in   
  
next to Lewis and grabbing onto the manual opening device.  
  
Behind them, the children ran.  
  
***  
  
Shinji and the others were now going at full-tilt. None of them had   
  
thought to stay, not for more than a moment; behind them was something   
  
that bullets would not stop. Maybe, if they kept going...something   
  
would turn up. Something, _anything_ to stop that thing that looked   
  
human, but which couldn't be.  
  
"What the hell is this..." Asuka muttered under her breath as she ran.  
  
"An AT field is at work," Rei stated. This got the attention of all of   
  
them, save Ariel. The white-haired girl's face simply hardened, and   
  
she conspicuously didn't notice what Rei had said. However, none of   
  
them were in a position to care about the girl's apparent indifference.  
  
"A what?" Kensuke asked, still running.  
  
"That's...that's just not possible," Shinji tried to contest.  
  
Rei looked at him, fixing him with that red stare for just a moment   
  
before turning her gaze back to looking where she was going. "It is   
  
what is happening."  
  
"Well then..."  
  
He could think of nothing to say. An AT field? How? Only Evas could   
  
make those. But then again, Ritsuko had said something about Rei   
  
generating one...  
  
"Of all the times for Tab...Nagisa to not be around..." Ariel muttered.   
  
"_Now_, we need him."  
  
All further conversation was futile, however, as gunfire again erupted   
  
behind them. Struggling not to clamp their hands over their ears, the   
  
five of them ran on.  
  
***  
  
"Ungghhh..."  
  
Misato felt like she'd been hit by a truck. She opened her eyes, and   
  
saw double for several seconds. Rubbing her forehead, she tried to   
  
recall what had just happened.  
  
She and Lewis had been fighting against the door, trying to keep it   
  
shut for all they were worth. But it had been futile; the other   
  
soldier had simply gotten his hands in between the doors, and forced   
  
them open as though there had been no resistance at all. Misato and   
  
Lewis had been thrown to the ground as the manual opening mechanism had   
  
spun wildly against their best efforts. Misato knew she was no   
  
weakling, not after two years of roughing it. For his part, Lewis   
  
looked to be more muscle than anything else. No one man could have   
  
possibly done what that one soldier had done.  
  
But it had happened. The other Americans had all opened fire as soon   
  
as they'd gotten the renegade soldier in their sights...that would   
  
explain the ringing in her ears, right now. Damn it...she'd have to   
  
see if Lewis had a spare pair of earplugs, if he and his men were going   
  
to keep doing things that way.  
  
She was aware of a weight in her other hand, the one not trying to rub   
  
focus back into her eyes. Looking down, she saw a gun, that big .45   
  
Lewis had handed her awhile back. She'd put it to use, it seemed. Her   
  
response had been so automatic that she couldn't even remember getting   
  
it out. She only remembered putting five rounds into the soldier's   
  
chest, and watching him not even seem to care.  
  
The soldier...he'd stepped inside, and looked at them all. His face   
  
had been rendered into something alien, by those thick night-vision   
  
goggles, glowing dimly in the light. The effect had been amplified by   
  
the strange glowing pattern that had appeared on his skin. But the way   
  
he'd regarded them, not as threats, but as annoyances, had been the   
  
most disturbing of all.  
  
He'd simply waved his hand in a broad, sweeping motion, and the air had   
  
rippled around him. And then...Misato had woken up on the floor.  
  
A groan across the hall signaled the presence of someone else. Misato   
  
sat up, her vision blurring as she did so. She could hear cursing in   
  
English.  
  
"That you, Colonel?"  
  
Lewis groaned again. "You still breathing, Katsuragi?"  
  
"Yeah. Barely."  
  
"Great. Just great." The man started to stand up. Misato followed   
  
suit, having to lean against the wall to keep her balance.  
  
"You have any idea what the _fuck_ just happened?" Lewis asked,   
  
groggily. He held his head with one hand. "Feels like a concussion   
  
grenade just went off."  
  
Misato nodded slowly, her vision swimming with the motion. Around her,   
  
a few other American soldiers were getting up. Others, however,   
  
remained still.  
  
"We have to keep going," Misato said, once she'd pulled herself   
  
together enough to speak coherently. "That man...he got past us."  
  
"No shit. What's he after?"  
  
"_You're_ asking _me_?" Misato asked, incredulously.  
  
"I sure as hell don't have the answers." Lewis shook his head. "Gray   
  
was as good a soldier as I've ever seen. He'd never do this. Never."   
  
He shook his head, eyes glazing temporarily as his voice took on an   
  
iron tone of denial.  
  
Misato said nothing. She could only remember what Rei had said, that   
  
this was not Lewis' man, anymore. She knew something was wrong with   
  
this situation. But she didn't have time to figure out just _what_ was   
  
going on.  
  
"He's going after the children," Misato said, certain she was right.   
  
"He didn't bother killing us...it's not us he wants."  
  
"Maybe so. Any ideas?"  
  
"I don't know!" Misato shouted, immediately sorry she'd done so, as her   
  
head pounded. "We've just got to do something. As long as we're   
  
breathing, we've got to."  
  
"Heh. I like that attitude. Katsuragi, grab up that gun there, could   
  
you?" he asked, pointing to a rifle that lay on the floor.  
  
Misato looked to the rifle Lewis held, wondering briefly why he would   
  
want one. Then she realized that it looked like a few of the soldiers   
  
wouldn't be needing their rifles anymore. She may as well be better   
  
armed, even if it meant little. She knelt down to pick up the rifle,   
  
turning her back on Lewis to do so.  
  
The last thing she heard was the footstep behind her, and the   
  
stretching of fabric around tensed muscles. Her head jerked, as the   
  
butt of a rifle was rammed into her. Before the pain could even   
  
register, the world had gone black, and she had slumped over.   
  
"Sorry," Lewis muttered, switching his grip on his rifle as he stepped   
  
away from Misato's limp form. "But no reason for both of us to get   
  
it."  
  
He turned to face the other soldiers. "You men get her out of here,   
  
got it?"  
  
"But sir..." one of them tried to complain.  
  
"Gray's under my command, so he's my responsibility," Lewis said,   
  
firmly. "Besides," he added on, a bit lighter. "You notice   
  
something?"  
  
"You mean _aside_ from how the fucking bullets don't hurt him, sir?"  
  
Lewis grinned. "Yeah, that. But one other thing. Gray's wearin' his   
  
night vision." The soldier looked blankly at him. "Never mind," Lewis   
  
said. "Just get yourselves clear. If I'm not out in fifteen   
  
minutes..." he paused. "Blast this place. Cave it in, you hear me?"  
  
"Y...yes, sir."  
  
Lewis was headed back down the hall, reloading his rifle as he did so,   
  
before the soldier had even finished replying.  
  
***  
  
"Misato? Misato?!" Maya was asking into the radio, her voice growing   
  
steadily louder. The last few minutes had felt like hours to her. She   
  
wished she had the power to get NERV back online, so she could see what   
  
was happening, so she could try to help, so she could do _something_.   
  
But instead, she'd been left with this single radio, listening to the   
  
gunfire, the shouts, and the screams of pain. One of the voices had   
  
been Misato. Now, though...  
  
Positioned by the nearly dead control console, she didn't hear the   
  
thunder of running footsteps for the first few moments. She turned   
  
around in her chair just in time to see the children come running in   
  
full-tilt. Even Rei had been sprinting.  
  
"Maya!" Shinji cried out, his shoes skidding on the tile floor as he   
  
stopped short. "Misato-san, she went back to try and help, and Lewis-  
  
san and the others all..." his voice then withered away and he doubled   
  
over, completely out of breath. Asuka caught him as he fell, gasping.  
  
"It's coming," Rei said, looking back over her shoulder. "It will find   
  
us here."  
  
Maya blinked, the magnitude of it all coming down on her all too fast.   
  
The Americans had given her the gist of the situation. One of their   
  
own had gone turncoat for no reason at all...had decided to turn his   
  
gun on his former companions. Was he after the children?  
  
"We don't have much time," Ariel said, forcefully. "Iru..._he_ knows   
  
we were headed this way."  
  
Adrenaline sped up Maya's thought processes. She looked to a spot on   
  
the wall, gesturing with her chin.  
  
"The elevator," she said, not believing how calm she sounded. "I'll   
  
lock it once you're up."  
  
The children piled onto the small elevator that led to the upper   
  
command level, previously the domain of the commanding officers of   
  
NERV. The upper level was over two stories up from the level they were   
  
on now, and the walls were smooth. The elevator was the only way up.  
  
Maya let out a small sigh as she heard the elevator click in place at   
  
the top of its track, followed by the children's voices sounding off,   
  
assuring her they were all right. Turning back to her console, she   
  
locked the elevator in place with just a few keystrokes.  
  
Almost immediately thereafter, another set of footsteps came running   
  
down the hall. The few Americans reached for their guns; Maya could   
  
only listen to her heartbeat thundering in her ears. They all relaxed   
  
- some more quickly than others - as they heard a voice from down the   
  
hall.  
  
"Gray! Where the hell are you?"  
  
"Colonel!" one of the soldiers called out, stepping into the hallway.   
  
"Colonel, is that you?"  
  
"Who the hell else would it be?" Lewis shot back, as he came running   
  
into the room. His eyes were wild, searching frantically for   
  
something. His hands tightly clenched a rifle, one finger on the   
  
trigger.  
  
"Where's Gray?" he asked. When he was answered by dead silence from   
  
the few people in the room, he continued. "The traitor? Greased a   
  
bunch of my guys, tried to punch _my_ ticket too!"  
  
Maya shook her head helplessly. "N-no one's come here except the   
  
children. They're safe u-up there," she said, pointing to the command   
  
level. She swallowed, trying in vain to get the stutter out of her   
  
voice.  
  
"What the..." Lewis asked, looking at the floor, confused.  
  
"Colonel," Maya began, "Wh-what happened to Misato? Is she - "  
  
"Gray had a hell of a head start!" Lewis shouted out suddenly, making   
  
Maya jump as she was cut off. "How'd I beat him here?"  
  
They were cut off by a pounding noise, coming not from near them, but   
  
from higher up. It came from the upper command level.  
  
"The children..." Maya whispered. "But...but how?"  
  
Lewis wasn't looking up into the darkness, where they could now hear   
  
the panicking voices of the young souls above them. He stared at the   
  
wall, where a ventilation shaft ran just above the door.  
  
"Ever seen 'Die Hard'?" he asked, quietly, to no one in particular.  
  
***  
  
Rei stood motionless, meeting the soldier's eyes, as he took another   
  
step towards her. Moments ago, the ventilation shaft had shook, almost   
  
tearing from its moorings. Then a grate had burst away, clattering   
  
loudly to the floor. Immediately after, this soldier had dropped from   
  
the opening. He had found them.  
  
None of them noticed, at first, as the elevator whined with use. No   
  
one could see past the drooling face, the eyes masked behind the   
  
insectoid night goggles, the hands clenched with anticipation.  
  
Kensuke was the first to see someone coming up through the floor,   
  
riding the small elevator. He quickly recognized the tall, muscular   
  
form.  
  
"Co...Colonel..."  
  
The positioning of the elevator put Lewis directly behind the soldier.   
  
He stood there, hip out of joint, rifle leaned casually against one   
  
shoulder. His other hand hung limply by his side, holding the solid   
  
brick of a radio. Oddly, he also wore his sunglasses, which had to   
  
make it difficult to see. Up here, there wasn't even the glow of   
  
consoles for light.  
  
The soldier paused as he heard the sharp 'click' of a safety going off.   
  
Not satisfied with this response, Lewis pulled the trigger, firing a   
  
bullet into the ceiling. Kensuke, Asuka, Ariel, and Shinji winced at   
  
the explosion of noise. The others did not, their attention too   
  
focused to notice something as peripheral as a gunshot.  
  
"Gray," Lewis said, simply.   
  
The renegade soldier turned slowly, shoulders hunched like some kind of   
  
wild animal. He looked at Lewis and snarled, hands unclenching,   
  
becoming claws.  
  
Lewis already had the radio to his mouth. "Do it, Ibuki."  
  
Without further warning, Central Dogma lit up. All the power Maya had   
  
been able to find, everything still functioning in NERV, was shut down,   
  
just so the overhead lights could come on, as bright as they'd been   
  
before Third Impact. The effect was immediate.  
  
Night vision goggles are amazing devices, amplifying existing light   
  
hundreds of times so that their wearer can see perfectly even in almost   
  
total darkness. They are not made to be used in bright lights; people   
  
who have had that unfortunate experience have said it is something akin   
  
to looking at the surface of the sun. Lewis could only guess what the   
  
soldier in front of him saw.  
  
Gray screamed in pain as his eyes were boiled, flooded with light and   
  
burned with the intensity. He clawed uselessly at his goggles, trying   
  
to shield his eyes from the intense glare.  
  
Lewis' sunglasses glinted in the overhead light. "Run!" he shouted,   
  
levelling the rifle at Gray. He opened fire.  
  
The children ducked as three-round bursts from the rifle were tossed   
  
off, striking Gray. The bullets seemed to ricochet off his bare   
  
_skin_, bu the force from the impacts was enough to make him step back.   
  
Shinji went first, gesturing for the others to follow him as he crawled   
  
towards the elevator. He kept his head low as the bullets ricocheted,   
  
flattening just centimeters from Gray's body, stopped by some force   
  
that defied understanding.  
  
Gray had been pushed against the railing of the command level when the   
  
rifle clicked empty. Shinji took advantage of the momentary lull,   
  
ducking behind Lewis. He felt bad using the man as a shield, even   
  
though that seemed to be what the American was bent on being. The rest   
  
of the children followed en masse, jumping onto the small elevator.  
  
"All right, fucker. Not done yet?" Lewis taunted, dropping the rifle   
  
to the floor, useless. His hand went behind his back. The Desert   
  
Eagle, the cannon that thought it was a handgun, came out. He had a   
  
bullet chambered and was firing a heartbeat later.  
  
Lewis' whole body rocked with each shot, the recoil jerking his arms as   
  
he fought to steady his aim. He put seven rounds into Gray, grimacing   
  
as the soldier seemed to shrug off the rounds, bullets that would have   
  
punched through anything short of a tank. Behind Lewis, the children   
  
watched, helpless, as they descended. The two men vanished over the   
  
lip of the floor as the elevator sank down to the next level.  
  
Gray had taken a step forward, against the bullets, by the time the   
  
Desert Eagle ran dry. He ripped his night goggles off, throwing them   
  
away as though they were garbage. He'd taken another step by the time   
  
the empty clip had hit the ground, and two more before Lewis could slam   
  
a fresh clip into the gun.  
  
Down on the control level, the elevator came down, groaning to a stop   
  
just as Lewis started shooting again.  
  
"Christ!" Lewis shouted, after three more shots. "What the hell _are_   
  
you?!" More shots, breaking off suddenly. From above, a black gun   
  
fell, clattering amid the onlookers, who jumped backwards, as though   
  
fearful that the impotent weapon would try to attack one of them.  
  
Now from above came the sounds of a fistfight. Fist met flesh, with   
  
grunts of exertion and pain accompanying each hit. There were also   
  
flashes of light, and what sounded like warped thunderclaps.   
  
"What the - !" Lewis' voice could be heard. This was immediately   
  
followed by one loud cry of pain, then silence.  
  
"Colonel?" Kensuke shouted up, nervous.  
  
He was answered in a rather unfortunate fashion. Lewis' body flew over   
  
the railing of the command level, falling the eight meters down to the   
  
control level and crashing with a dull 'thud'. He lay still for a   
  
moment, then began to groan, moving slowly to try and get up. His   
  
sunglasses had been ripped off at some point; a single earpiece hung   
  
from behind his ear. Eyes squeezed down to slits by the pain, he   
  
started crawling forward. Not two meters from him, the Desert Eagle   
  
lay. There were at least a few rounds left in it...  
  
Useless. From behind him, there came another loud 'thud'. Lewis   
  
looked over his shoulder, in time to see Gray standing behind him,   
  
leering down at his broken form. Had he jumped down? Impossible. No   
  
one should be able to do something like that.  
  
Gray stepped forwards, hand reaching for Lewis' throat. Lewis kept   
  
trying to crawl forwards, but his one arm seemed unresponsive. He   
  
reached, his fingers just centimeters from the gun and its shallow   
  
hope.  
  
He felt rather than heard Gray freeze behind him.  
  
He chanced a look over his shoulder. Gray had stopped. The soldier   
  
stood up straight, suddenly ignorant of Lewis. He turned around   
  
slowly, looking back, at the children -   
  
- At Rei.  
  
The blue-haired girl stood silently, her eyes staring intently at him,   
  
as though trying to burn a hole through him with just her glare. Gray   
  
stared back, but did not approach.  
  
Something none of them could see was the battle that raged between the   
  
two, Rei and Gray. They could not see the energies being exchanged,   
  
energies specifically designed to combat one another, to cancel each   
  
other out, leaving nothing but a void. But they could tell something   
  
was going on: Gray's hands and jaw hand clenched tightly, and a sheen   
  
of sweat had appeared on his forehead. Rei, for her part, looked more   
  
intense than she ever had been. Her hands remained limp, but only   
  
through what had to be massive self-control. The look in her eyes said   
  
all, that she was as hard-pressed at the moment as Gray seemed to be.  
  
Finally, Rei brought her hands up, pressed together as though praying.   
  
Her eyes kept their intensity. She lifted her hands to her chest   
  
level, and then began to pull them apart.  
  
It looked like she was having trouble with the task. Something was   
  
pushing against her, trying to keep her from separating her hands. But   
  
slowly, jerkily, she began to spread her hands apart, millimeter by   
  
millimeter. A ripping sound could be heard, like a sheet of paper   
  
slowly being torn in half.  
  
Gray raised one hand, and the space between them seemed to grow darker,   
  
then compress, the view distorting as though being seen through a bad   
  
lens. Tendrils began to crawl from his fingertips, amorphous things   
  
seemingly made from darkness. They shot across the span between him   
  
and Rei, before splashing against an invisible wall, centimeters from   
  
the girl's face.  
  
The dark tendrils splattered, tried to re-form, work their way around   
  
the barrier they'd encountered. But it was futile; the air seemed to   
  
harden around Rei and the group, resisting Gray's attempt to penetrate.  
  
Gray's eyes became hard, and the tendrils began to dig, burrowing   
  
through the invisible field blocking them, slowly advancing towards   
  
Rei, who was beginning to show signs of fatigue from the fight.  
  
But Gray was not immune, either. Already pushed far beyond its limits   
  
by the being inhabiting it, his flesh was beginning to fail. Sections   
  
of his skin began to dry out, then peel away like paint, falling   
  
lifeless to the floor. Underneath was not blood and muscle, not   
  
anymore. Instead, there was more of the liquid darkness the tendrils   
  
were made from, roiling as it was exposed to view.  
  
Rei closed her eyes with the effort, as she continued trying to resist   
  
Gray's effort to push through her defense. The field around her began   
  
to shrink, retracting from its protective stance to condense in front   
  
of her.  
  
Sensing victory, Gray smiled through a mouth that was beginning to ooze   
  
the same black ichor under his skin. The tendrils worked their way   
  
around the field, and stretched through the now-defenseless space to   
  
Rei.  
  
Just before they touched her, Rei's eyes opened. Gray had a fraction   
  
of a second to realize that she had not been giving up; she had simply   
  
been changing from a purely defensive stance to a more offensive one.   
  
And in not seeing that earlier, Gray had left himself defenseless.  
  
A beam of pure light shot out from Rei, dissolving the tendrils in   
  
front of her, blasting directly into Gray's chest, and finally burning   
  
through him and coming out his back, the light continuing on into the   
  
darkness beyond, finally vanishing.  
  
Rei went to her knees, exhausted. Gray was decidedly worse off. A   
  
hole burned through him, he collapsed to the floor, his body dripping   
  
darkness. Rei closed her eyes, trying to catch her breath.  
  
But Gray was not finished. He looked up, raising one hand and grinning   
  
again. The air rippled, and a shockwave blasted out from him, striking   
  
Rei, then going on and hitting the others behind her, sending them all   
  
to the ground. None of them moved.  
  
Gray slowly got to his feet. He dripped ooze continuously, and as he   
  
looked at his ruined body it finally began to dawn on him that the   
  
wound was not one he could recover from. He looked up, to the group of   
  
people ahead of him, lying on the ground. Even Rei seemed struck   
  
helpless by his last attack. He took a shambling step forwards,   
  
shifting balance as one of his arms withered and fell off, the stump   
  
dripping.  
  
He made it two steps before something impeded his path: Lewis. The man   
  
stepped in front of him, breathing hard, visibly worn from the previous   
  
fight. In his hands, the Desert Eagle gleamed.  
  
"Forgot something, Gray?" he asked, smirking. He raised the gun and   
  
pulled the trigger.  
  
There was a loud 'click', followed by...nothing.  
  
Lewis looked disbelievingly at his gun.  
  
"Piece of shit...you jam _now_?"  
  
Gray seized the opportunity, grasping at Lewis' throat with his   
  
remaining hand. The two of them tumbled to the ground, the ruin of   
  
Gray's body pinning Lewis to the floor.  
  
Lewis grabbed at Gray's face, trying to push the man off. Instead,   
  
though, his face tore off, like a paper mask, the skin decaying moments   
  
after it was freed from the body. Lewis looked up into the other   
  
soldier's visage, and his breath caught. What lay in front of him was   
  
barely recognizable as human, anymore. Instead of flesh, there was   
  
just that black, roiling slop, dripping down onto Lewis, sticking to   
  
him like glue. Gray's eyes had gone completely white, staring down at   
  
him with the unmoving gaze of a corpse.  
  
The pressure on Lewis' neck tightened. Air refused to come; he could   
  
feel his thoughts going dim. There was also a burning pain, a sense of   
  
invasion, as though something were burrowing into him, spreading slowly   
  
through him, devouring him from the inside out.   
  
He twisted, trying to get free, but Gray held on with a grip like iron.   
  
Lewis' eyes landed on a black object, laying on the floor not a meter   
  
from him: the Desert Eagle, having fallen from his hand when Gray   
  
tackled him. He reached for it, jaw clenched tight, trying not to   
  
think about how his vision was going red, how he could barely feel his   
  
hand anymore. His fingers brushed against the gun...  
  
Through the haze of suffocation, Lewis barely heard the crack of a   
  
gunshot. But he did feel Gray's grip slacken, the burning pain in his   
  
neck begin to ease. His focus began to return, and he heard the next   
  
three shots, felt Gray shake under the impact of something.  
  
He felt the hardness of the Desert Eagle in his hand. He worked the   
  
action with one hand, ejecting the jammed bullet. Only _then_ did he   
  
look at Gray.  
  
The thing atop him looked, if possible, more horrible than ever. One   
  
of the all-white eyes had ruptured, sunk into the goo that made up his   
  
face. There was almost no anatomy to aim for, anymore. Lewis   
  
improvised, jamming his gun into the middle of the mess. He felt   
  
himself pull the trigger.  
  
The action worked, this time. The Desert Eagle bucked in his hand, and   
  
the blob of ichor seemed to cave in on itself. Then it burst,   
  
exploding into a shower of goo above him, as Lewis squinted.  
  
What remained was a stump, bleeding red mixed with black. The body   
  
convulsed, and for a sickening moment seemed to catch itself. Through   
  
raw determination, just for a second, it tried to lift up, tried to   
  
resist the call of death. But it was a battle it could not win. The   
  
body slumped forwards, onto Lewis, who promptly kicked it off of him.  
  
Lewis choked, coughing violently as his windpipe was finally opened   
  
again. He gasped for air, lying on the floor and waiting for his   
  
vision to clear.  
  
"Ugh..." he groaned. "Everyone still there?"  
  
Silence answered him, at first. Then a shadow fell over him. He   
  
looked up, to the dark silhouette of a person outlined by the overhead   
  
lamps.  
  
Lewis coughed, tried to sit up. "That you, Katsuragi?"  
  
"Yeah, lucky for you. What were you thinking?"  
  
"Who says I was thinking at all?" Lewis tried to grin, but his vision   
  
swam before him. He sat up, slowly.  
  
"All I can say is you got what you deserved, you jerk. I'm going to   
  
need a whole _bottle_ of Asprin when I get out of here."  
  
"And _I'm_ gonna need two, preferably with a couple shots of   
  
something." He was now in a crouching position. "What happened to   
  
those guys I told to get you out?"  
  
"Heh," Misato laughed a bit. "Give me a little credit, Lewis. I just   
  
had to persuade them a little."  
  
Lewis shook his head, either in response to what Misato had said or to   
  
try and clear the spots from his eyes. He slowly got to his feet,   
  
swaying a little. Over Misato's shoudler, he could see the rest of the   
  
group getting up, groaning. Rei was already standing, looking straight   
  
at him. He looked away, unsettled by that gaze.  
  
His eyes turned down to the Desert Eagle in his hand, his eyes quietly   
  
asking if this weapon had been any use at all. If maybe it had just   
  
been luck that he was still alive.   
  
"Hang on a sec," he said, jacking out the clip and checking how many   
  
bullets were left. He stepped towards Gray, ramming the clip back into   
  
the gun and flicking off the safety.  
  
Misato looked away just as Lewis pointed the gun at Gray's form. The   
  
rest of them closed their eyes reflexively at the first shot.  
  
Lewis fired once, twice, three times, pausing between each shot only   
  
long enough for the casing to hit the ground before shooting again.   
  
The rest of the people on the command level had just opened their eyes,   
  
thinking it was over, when Lewis fired a fourth time, making them all   
  
jump, unable to tear their eyes away from what was left of Gray's torso   
  
as blood and bone sprayed about.  
  
Lewis stepped away, wiping the blood off his face. Spatter covered his   
  
clothes, but he didn't seem to care. The now-empty gun went behind his   
  
back again. He winced as the hot muzzle touched his skin.  
  
"Always pays to make sure," he muttered, pushing past the Japanese,   
  
going back to where his men waited sheepishly in the doorway to the   
  
command center. They muttered apologetically, something about Misato   
  
having been so adamant about coming here that they hadn't been able to   
  
do anything about it.  
  
"Now, one more thing," he said, stepping away from the door, back into   
  
the room with them. "You," he continued, pointing directly at Rei.   
  
"Would you mind explaining?"  
  
"Explaining what?" Rei asked, innocently.  
  
Lewis looked at her for a moment, as though trying to figure out if she   
  
really was that naive or if she was just being difficult. "I mean   
  
the..." unable to find a word, he simply clapped his hands together and   
  
then pulled them apart, in mimicry of Rei's actions earlier. "What the   
  
hell was that?"  
  
Rei said nothing.  
  
"Not talking?" he asked, cocking his head at her. "I know I saw   
  
another one of those shining walls like from earlier."   
  
Shinji knew what Lewis was referring to. They'd all seen it earlier on   
  
the monitors, during the attacks. The glowing hexagons of an AT field,   
  
which only appeared under a strong attack or when one field was   
  
negating another.  
  
Lewis had started walking towards her. "Gonna explain yourself?" His   
  
fist clenched, unconsciously. "I can just put you in quarantine, if I   
  
think you're a risk."  
  
Shinji stepped forwards. "Colonel, I think we can give Rei a chance to   
  
explain..."  
  
He trailed off. When he'd started speaking, all eyes had turned   
  
towards him. For once, though, this did not intimidate him. He'd   
  
known it would be coming, and had taken a moment to steel himself   
  
against the attention. But he hadn't been prepared for something else:   
  
Rei looking at him.  
  
Those red eyes bored into him, not with indifference, but with   
  
something else. Something unfathomable, something vaguely threatening.   
  
Looking at them, a memory flashed before him, of Rei - or something   
  
that looked like her - gazing at him that same way, as he and Unit-01   
  
had risen into the sky. He winced as his chest was suddenly shot   
  
through with a searing pain, through his heart. Perhaps it was   
  
imagined, but it made him close his eyes for a moment.  
  
When he opened his eyes, whatever he'd seen had gone. Rei had looked   
  
away from him, as well. But all the other eyes were still on him.   
  
Wasn't anyone else going to say something? They looked confused, maybe   
  
a little shell-shocked from the whole ordeal they'd just had to face.   
  
In their eyes, he saw...questions? Hope for guidance?  
  
"I mean..." he tried to say. "She...I..." he stopped. He'd forgotten   
  
why it was he wanted to stop Lewis. Instead, he'd realized why no one   
  
else was speaking. Even looking at Rei now, without her meeting his   
  
gaze, he couldn't help feeling a little afraid, that what he was   
  
looking at was something other than human. Something malignant.  
  
Like guns switching targets, Lewis' eyes snapped back to Rei. "I want   
  
an explanation, girl."  
  
Still, Rei said nothing.  
  
"I don't have time for this," he said, turning away from her. He said   
  
some words to the men at the door, accompanied by a thumb-jerk towards   
  
Rei. The men started towards her.  
  
Shinji watched, frozen, as the two soldiers took positions alongside   
  
Rei and escorted her from the room. As they left, he thought he saw   
  
her start to turn her head, turning one eye back to look at him. He   
  
felt a chill up his spine.  
  
"Damn, I'm tired," Lewis said, leaning against the wall. "Who's up for   
  
a drink?"  
  
Without waiting for a response, he headed out.  
  
***  
  
Ritsuko's fingers tapped quietly on the laptop in front of her, calling   
  
up data just long enough for her trained eyes to flicker over it and   
  
then move onto something else. She typed with one hand, going as   
  
quickly as most people could manage with two. Her free hand gripped a   
  
cup of coffee, which she sipped from occasionally, though her eyes   
  
never left the screen. Her back was to the canvas wall of the tent; no   
  
one could look over her shoulder at what she was doing, which was   
  
exactly the way she liked it, when looking at data like this.  
  
She'd set up in the command tent at the settlement, if only because it   
  
gave her something to do. She hated to admit it, but with Misato and   
  
the others gone, she was getting bored. The camp was able to limp   
  
along without Shinji and Asuka, for a few days at least. Some people   
  
would come to her with questions, but for the most part she was left to   
  
her own devices.  
  
The Eva had been checked over a dozen times, and was certified now to   
  
be Dummy-free. It had been a tremendously complicated job. Kaoru had   
  
had to synchronize with the machine, sifting mentally through the   
  
millions of lines of code within the Eva before finally finding the   
  
emergency plug ejection system. It had taken him a good two hours to   
  
pull off. But finally, the plates on Unit-00's back had slid aside and   
  
a blood-red tube had emerged.  
  
Some heavy lifting equipment had been required to handle the mass, but   
  
the red Dummy Plug had been pulled out rather easily. However,   
  
afterwards had come the hard part: modifying it to accept a pilot.   
  
That had been a tedious process, as everything in the Dummy Plug was   
  
linked into everything else. Once again, Nagisa had been the key   
  
factor: he'd synched with the Eva again, going into some kind of a   
  
trance-like state. Some minutes later, he'd opened his eyes and said,   
  
cheerfully, that the Dummy system had been disconnected.  
  
There was no real way to verify if he was right, short of putting Unit-  
  
00 back into a combat situation. Ritsuko would just have to trust the   
  
boy's skill, though trust had never been one of her strong points. For   
  
now, she wrote down Unit-00 as being 'safe'. Unit-04 was a different   
  
story, however. It seemed to be resisting Kaoru's efforts to control   
  
it. He'd stared at the white machine for hours, until he'd been on the   
  
verge of passing out. But nothing had happened; it would not accept   
  
his commands. The Americans had then stepped in, and tried opening it   
  
up the hard way. It had been quite a show, as they'd used everything   
  
from cutting torches to high yield shaped charges. But a show was all   
  
it had been, as the pyrotechnics hadn't even scratched the armor so   
  
far.   
  
Part of Ritsuko's mind was puzzling over how to solve the Unit-04   
  
problem. She had a feeling they were going to need all the firepower   
  
they could lay their hands on. But at the moment, she was mostly   
  
concerned with what was in front of her, glowing on the computer   
  
screen.  
  
That morning, Maya had informed her by radio of the presence of an   
  
American submarine off the coast of Japan. The woman had been a bit   
  
confused, but Ritsuko had been able to hear the apprehension in her   
  
voice. It had only taken Ritsuko a few minutes to find a laptop with a   
  
wireless modem. Currently, she was hooked directly into the MAGI,   
  
viewing the data those massive supercomputers had been able to compile   
  
over the past few days.  
  
She put down her cup of coffee, using that hand to scratch at her   
  
chest. Thinking about what she was doing was making her scar itch.   
  
She couldn't help remembering the last time she'd been connected to the   
  
MAGI, how Caspar had refused her orders. The computers...or rather,   
  
the person within them, had been content to let her die, rather than   
  
let any harm come to the man they loved.  
  
Ritsuko's brow furrowed, thinking these thoughts, and she scratched her   
  
chest again. She tried to push these concerns to the edge of her   
  
consciousness.  
  
The MAGI had studied the submarine sitting off the coast. It was   
  
definitely a missile-carrier, and from the readings she was looking at,   
  
it was locked and loaded. That was a problem. These submarines were   
  
not the kind used to knock out small targets. When a sub like this was   
  
called to action, it meant an entire country was about to burn.  
  
She paused, looking at the numbers in front of her. The readings she   
  
was getting showed there wasn't any radiation coming from the sub,   
  
aside from its own reactor. The missiles were non-nuclear. But   
  
still...  
  
She cycled through a list of data in the MAGI databanks, data that had   
  
been there before Third Impact. It might not even be valid, but she   
  
had to look. Finally, a sub-screen opened, displaying the data she'd   
  
hoped she wouldn't find.  
  
It was now that Ritsuko's fingers stopped typing altogether. Her hand   
  
lay limp on the keyboard, as her eyes just stared, disbelieving, at the   
  
screen. Before her was the diagram of a weapon she'd heard about, in   
  
passing, years ago. Being developed jointly by a few wealthy   
  
countries, it had been dubbed the S2 missile.  
  
She had some idea of how these worked. Using a power supply not unlike   
  
the S2 engine onboard the MP Evas, the missiles could generate a yield   
  
that rivaled that of a hydrogen bomb. A handful of them could reduce   
  
nearly any country to ashes. It was supposed to have been the next   
  
generation of non-nuclear mass destruction, being developed as an   
  
alternative to the expensive and unreliable Evangelions. These things   
  
_had_ been designed to negate AT fields, but before Third Impact, the   
  
project had only been in the theoretical stages...  
  
...but the data didn't lie. The submarine sitting off the coast of   
  
Japan was loaded with enough S2 missiles to take Japan off the globe a   
  
dozen times over.  
  
"Something wrong, Ritsuko-san?"  
  
Ritsuko jumped a little in her seat. Looking up from the screen, she   
  
was forced to blink as her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the   
  
tent. But she could recognize Kaoru's voice pretty easily.  
  
"You might say that," she said, coldly. After a little hesitation, she   
  
beckoned him over. "I know you're smarter than you let on, Nagisa.   
  
Look at this."  
  
Kaoru edged up to her and peered down at the screen. After a few   
  
minutes of "hm's", he stopped breathing, suddenly going very serious.   
  
"Oh my..."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"I'm afraid I'm at a loss," he said, looking at her with eyes that for   
  
once had no humor in them. "If this is what I think it is..."  
  
"It's probably an option of last resort," Ritsuko said, trying to keep   
  
up a calm exterior. Inside, she felt the same panic Kaoru was likely   
  
feeling.   
  
"Yes, but...if we make a mistake, then this 'last resort' may well be   
  
employed."  
  
"Yes...I know." She went back to typing. "I can notify Maya through   
  
this terminal, and she can pass along the news to the rest of them.   
  
But that's not going to change anything."  
  
Kaoru shrugged. "You must admire their pragmatism," he said. "Willing   
  
to destroy thousands of people in an eyeblink, so the rest of the world   
  
will be safe."  
  
Ritsuko shook her head. "That's what I'm worried about. By the   
  
numbers, it's an easy decision. It would almost make sense to launch   
  
now, to avoid taking chances."  
  
"Have some faith, Ritsuko-san. I can't believe they would simply   
  
destroy everything here that easily. They must have some respect for   
  
human life, especially now that this life must be earned by the   
  
individual."  
  
Ritsuko thought about it for a moment. "I still can't see why...unless   
  
they want something we have. Maybe - " she cut off.  
  
Kaoru had reached the same conclusion. "It's possible. An Evangelion   
  
is a very powerful fighting machine. The Americans seem to be   
  
accomplishing their goals through the use of military force. With   
  
access to an Eva, no army could stand before them."  
  
"Yes...but still, we have to be careful. In their position, I'd   
  
readily sacrifice two working Evangelions to avoid having a dozen   
  
berserk ones set loose on the world."  
  
"Actually, there are significantly fewer Mass Production Evas still in   
  
existence, Ritsuko-san," Kaoru corrected her, starting to smile again.   
  
"We have destroyed several thus far."  
  
Ritsuko waved him off. "That's another problem. I was going to show   
  
you this earlier, but then then this business with the submarine came   
  
up."  
  
She opened up another sub-screen. A map of Japan was displayed. She   
  
zoomed in, towards the coast.  
  
"One of the few working spy satellites left passed over us a few days   
  
ago," she said, offering no explanation as to how she'd gotten access   
  
to the network. "It found our target for us."  
  
A fuzzy shape came into focus, as the view continued to zoom in. Kaoru   
  
watched, calmly, as the form of an MP Eva materialized. The monster   
  
machine looked different from how he remembered; its skin had changed   
  
over to a dull gray color. Its arm, which remembered seeing get   
  
severed, had regenerated. His eyes narrowed. Its arms were longer   
  
now, with enormous, freshly grown muscles straining at the skin. It   
  
broke the boundaries of human proportion, looking more apelike than   
  
anything else. Of the huge spear it had carried with it when it left,   
  
there was no sign.  
  
The MP Eva began walking, heading west. With nothing for scale, it   
  
appeared to be moving excrutiatingly slow. But Kaoru knew that, built   
  
to the size it was, even those slow movements would put its speed close   
  
to a hundred kilometers an hour.  
  
"Not flying, I see," he commented.  
  
"Yes. And this morning, an American scout reported seeing it here,"   
  
Ritsuko said, flipping back to the map and pointing. She drew a line   
  
with her finger. "If it continues in this path, then it won't be   
  
coming here."  
  
Kaoru remained silent. He'd made the connection, mentally continuing   
  
the straight-line path the Eva seemed to be following. "You're   
  
right," he finally said. "It's not interested in us at all. It's   
  
headed...for NERV."  
  
***  
  
Shinji had been standing there a long while, on top of a large rock,   
  
watching the horizon. This morning, Kaoru had informed them that he   
  
was setting off for their location. Now, the day was nearly past. As   
  
the sun had sunk low in the sky, Unit-00 had appeared over the horizon.   
  
The distance reduced the Eva's tremendous form to nothing but a blue   
  
speck. It moved as though underwater, taking long strides towards   
  
them.  
  
He was not alone. Around him was a clustering of guns of all shapes   
  
and sizes. The Americans did not posess the firepower they did back at   
  
the main settlement, but that wasn't going to stop them from putting on   
  
a show of force. Though currently they had soldiers instead of tanks   
  
pointed at the Eva, they looked just as prepared to engage the machine,   
  
should it go renegade again. Shinji had been secretly praying these   
  
last few hours that it wouldn't come to that.  
  
The Japanese personnel had also come out to see, standing at a safe   
  
distance. Of the group, Shinji was the closest to the Eva, standing in   
  
front of the Americans and trying not to think about how many weapons   
  
were sitting behind him.  
  
Now the ground was beginning to shake, though again the distance was   
  
playing tricks on them: the vibrations were coming out of synch with   
  
the motions of the Eva's legs. Shinji waited, clenching his jaw   
  
tightly and hoping no one would notice. He offered up another quiet   
  
prayer that all was well. He knew Kaoru was inside Unit-00 at the   
  
moment, piloting it in the way Evas had originally been controlled,   
  
before commanders had resorted to heartless, soulless computers. Kaoru   
  
would not allow the Eva to go berserk, not when he was locked into its   
  
very heart.  
  
But as much as he told himself that, Shinji couldn't help worrying,   
  
seeing the blue monster approaching, much as it had come to the camp   
  
not too long ago.  
  
Unit-00 actually did look different, or rather, it looked back to   
  
normal. The physical changes it had forced onto itself during its   
  
berserk stage had receded. The bloody maw of a mouth was again sealed   
  
into its head armor, and the bulging, humanoid muscles of its arms   
  
seemed to have shrunk, also forced into place under the layers of metal   
  
and impact ceramic. Kaoru had told him about the repairs, but Shinji   
  
knew they were little more than superficial. Under the metal, Unit-00   
  
was still different, still a monster waiting to be unleashed again.  
  
The tremors were now falling in time with Unit-00's footsteps. It   
  
loomed before them like a tidal wave, approaching with great speed.   
  
Around Shinji, the Americans tensed. He thought he heard a few   
  
safeties go off.  
  
Finally, the footsteps stopped. Unit-00 stood strong before them, a   
  
skyscraper with legs. It blocked out the setting globe of the sun,   
  
casting a long shadow over the group. Its cyclopean eye gazed down at   
  
them, taking them in, looking almost pensive as it did so.  
  
Finally, Unit-00 crouched down. The motion was sudden enough that some   
  
of the Americans almost fired. But their companions held them back,   
  
forcing their guns up, to aim at the sky. As they argued, the Eva   
  
assumed a kneeling position, like a knight waiting for his king's   
  
blessing.  
  
Unit-00's back plates parted, sliding out of the way. A red tube burst   
  
free, rotating with the screw threads designed to hold it in place   
  
while the Eva was in action. Black lettering along its side clearly   
  
spelled out one name: KAORU, along with the number 13.  
  
A door on the entry plug hissed, then swung open on a jury-rigged   
  
hinge. It was just as well; this particular plug had never been   
  
designed to accomodate a pilot.  
  
The thin form of Kaoru emerged, dripping LCL goo. He shakily got out   
  
of the plug, climbing down the Eva's body until he jumped the last   
  
three meters to the ground. His knees flexed with the impact, for a   
  
moment forcing him into the same kneeling position of Unit-00.  
  
Shinji was there by the time Kaoru had stood back up again. "How was   
  
the trip?" he asked, an old habitual phrase coming up.  
  
Kaoru grinned. "Not bad. We make good time," he said, patting the Eva   
  
as he said so. "We weren't even at top speed. Probably could have   
  
made it in half the time."  
  
Shinji nodded, putting his arm across Kaoru's shoulders and leading the   
  
boy away from the machine. Shinji cringed slightly as he felt the cool   
  
LCL dripping off of Kaoru and onto his arm. But he made himself   
  
maintain contact with the other boy, trying his best to ignore the   
  
slime.  
  
"Where's Unit-04?" he asked.  
  
"Some repairs needed to be done on its eye," he answered. "And the   
  
Americans had to get their lifting helicopters in from some other part   
  
of the country," Kaoru answered. "Unit-04 will be dropping in later   
  
tonight." He grinned at his little joke regarding how the Americans   
  
had delivered the Eva last time they'd had to carry it.  
  
Shinji couldn't help smiling a little, too. "All right," he said.   
  
"You know the situation?"  
  
"I imagine I know it better than you do, Shinji-kun." Another grin.  
  
They passed by the ranks of Americans, who by now had resafetied their   
  
guns, more certain now that all was well. Misato had told Shinji to   
  
act as casually as he could, and had in fact been the one to suggest   
  
putting his arm around Kaoru, so they wouldn't have to worry about   
  
things getting ugly.  
  
Shinji whispered to Kaoru as they approached the Japanese. "Rei's in   
  
lockup."  
  
Kaoru, understanding the need for discretion, responded only with a   
  
sideways glance, out the corner of his eye.  
  
"Colonel Lewis ordered it," Shinji said, almost apologetically. "He   
  
thinks she...that she might be a danger."  
  
"From the tone of your voice," Kaoru said, all humor gone from his own   
  
voice, "I'd say you agree with the man."  
  
Shinji did not respond. They'd reached the other Japanese.  
  
The others were rather subdued in their greetings, emotions damped both   
  
from the experience in NERV and from the sight of Unit-00 looming over   
  
them. They were all thinking the same thing Shinji was: just how much   
  
control _did_ Kaoru have over that monster, anyway?  
  
"I am glad to see you are all still safe," Kaoru said, finally. Asuka   
  
muttered something about how her ears were _still_ ringing. Kaoru   
  
grinned a little. He then turned his eyes to Ariel.  
  
"It must have been an interesting experience for you, too," he said,   
  
eyes sharply looking into hers. "Did you see where they kept her?   
  
Lilith?"  
  
Ariel averted her gaze. A very small blush appeared on her face. "I   
  
simply managed. It was...a new experience, being inside such a large   
  
fortress."  
  
Kaoru laughed a little, and left it at that.  
  
"So now we just have one problem," Shinji announced. He turned around,   
  
looking back at the unmoving form of Unit-00. "In a few hours the   
  
other Eva's going to be delivered. We have until then..." he turned   
  
back around, facing the group, "to find a pilot for it."  
  
Silence was the only answer. Shinji let his eyes scan over the group.   
  
His mind instantly skipped over most of the people there. He focused   
  
on just a handful of people. Kaoru, well he was busy already...Asuka,   
  
when he looked at her, she intentionally looked away, playing with her   
  
hair a little...  
  
For some reason, he also looked at Ariel. She seemed to have something   
  
for the Evas, though he couldn't tell what. The look in her eyes now,   
  
as she looked at Unit-00...it was like she knew something they didn't.   
  
Maybe she would...  
  
No, no, that was a dumb idea. From what he'd heard, Ariel was not   
  
interested in piloting an Eva. He wondered if Asuka had asked her   
  
about it already. In any case, it didn't leave him with many options.  
  
Maybe Rei...but there was no telling whether or not the Americans would   
  
trust her at the controls of an invincible war machine. There was no   
  
telling whether _he_ would, either. The whole thought of putting Rei   
  
in one of those things, giving her power...it gave him a chill.  
  
Shinji looked back at Unit-00. It was a block of blue metal, carved in   
  
mimicry of a man. Muscles bulged under armor plating, and somewhere in   
  
all that, blood flowed. Almost like a living being. But, looking at   
  
the single, lidless eye it had, he knew it was just inhuman enough to   
  
be disturbing.  
  
Unit-04 was even worse in a few ways: its white armor was too   
  
reminiscent of the MP Evas they would have to fight. How different was   
  
it from those demon-mechs, anyway?  
  
Just for a moment, Shinji imagined himself back in the cockpit of one   
  
of those things. In his old Unit-01, even. There was always that   
  
momentary feeling of terror when the plug filled with LCL, when you had   
  
to breathe liquid and, just for a heartbeat, you were sure you were   
  
going to drown. When it activated, it was like getting a railroad   
  
spike driven into your skull. The whole time the Eva was functional,   
  
you couldn't shake the feeling that someone was looking over your   
  
shoulder, at everything you did and thought. That someone never said   
  
anything, but was always there, not letting you keep any secrets.  
  
In battle, there was nothing but terror. You had to fight monsters,   
  
things that defied all understanding both in physical form and the   
  
power they could bring to bear. When they hit your Eva, it felt like   
  
they were hitting you. No matter how many times you told yourself that   
  
you were safe, you could't help feeling that it was _you_ getting   
  
broken in half.  
  
But, when you synched...  
  
...when you fought...  
  
...there was always that lingering feeling. Something that made you   
  
keep coming back, no matter how much you hated it...  
  
..._Power_.  
  
Evas were like a drug, in an odd way. You hated doing it, you hated   
  
yourself for doing it, but in that first moment of synchronization, the   
  
rush you felt, the power flowing through your limbs and sparking out   
  
your fingertips...that made it all worthwhile.  
  
Looking at Unit-00, Shinji couldn't help feeling afraid. But, still...  
  
"I guess..." he began, hesitantly. "I guess...that I may have to - "  
  
"I'll do it!"  
  
Shinji, along with the entire rest of the group, whipped around to face   
  
the speaker, the one who'd interrupted him. A look of shock spread   
  
through the group, as they saw who it was.  
  
"Kensuke?!"  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Endnote: Hoo hoo, I'm evil, aren't I? Oh well, admit it, you knew he   
  
was going to give it a shot.  
  
As it may show, I got tired with this chapter near the end.   
  
You'll have to forgive me for glossing over some parts with a quick description; I'll make it up to you in later chapters.   
  
Kaoru will also be getting a bigger part soon.   
  
Anyway, time to get to work on the next chapter. I should be able to   
  
get this one out a bit quicker.  
  
The bomb I referred to in the last chapter, the HEAD bomb, is in no   
  
way related to the Army's MOAB; it is simply a fictional thing I   
  
made up for this story.  
  
Oh yeah, and 'Die Hard' is also a registered trademark, which I do not   
  
own.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Started: January 1, 2003  
  
Version 1 Ended: March 16, 2003  
  
Version 2 Ended: June 4, 2003  
  
Thanks go to the Avatar of Dragonia, who put a tremendous effort into   
  
both keeping me on track with this story and who supplied numerous   
  
ideas to spice things up.  
  
Visit my websites: http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/shinjirei/index.html   
  
and http://www.geocities.com/otakusadist/index.html 


	21. Chapter 17

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis Evangelion   
  
belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to them.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
" " = speech   
  
^ ^ = thoughts   
  
_ _ = italics   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
  
Chapter 17: Prelude to Oblvion  
  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
  
Unit-04. The wild card. Or so Kaoru thought, anyway.  
  
In the darkness of the late evening, the pale boy sat quietly upon a   
  
hill, looking at the white Evangelion below him. Unit-04 lay flat on   
  
its stomach, dormant, showing none of the malice it had displayed not a   
  
week before. It was simply a sleeping giant.  
  
Its head was still split open, armor torn asunder by a blow of   
  
unimaginable power. Though most of the damage could be repaired -   
  
indeed, most of it would regenerate on its own - the "eye" was a loss.   
  
It had been completely destroyed by the attack, and would need to be   
  
replaced. There was already progress on that front, though. Even   
  
before coming here, some of the American engineers had been proposing   
  
plans for some sort of replacement. They'd already fitted some kind of   
  
metallic socket into the void left by the eye. The rest was getting   
  
assembled and would be dropped off in the next day or two. Kaoru was   
  
rather interested in what they'd come up with. But the eye was not the   
  
problem that occupied his mind, at the moment.  
  
"So then," he said, to the air. "What are we going to do with you?"  
  
Unit-04 remained silent and unmoving.  
  
"Will you turn on us again, when we need you the most?" he asked it.   
  
"Or will you agree to servitude?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Quite the choice, I must say," he whispered, tilting his head to one   
  
side. "Slavery or death." He took a deep breath, letting it out   
  
slowly. "To think that all this was caused by a lilum who was   
  
presumptuous enough to think a computer could control something like   
  
you."  
  
His eyes flickered to the side, observing someone approaching the Eva.   
  
He easily recognized Ariel's form, her long hair the same hue of the   
  
Eva's armor.  
  
Kaoru knew that something within him was changing. With every victory,   
  
he felt something come alive inside of him, as though his current  
  
existence was only a dream, and each win was slowly waking him up.   
  
He could sense the presence of his own AT field, and knew that, if he   
  
tried, he would be able to control it, project it at will. Not quite   
  
at the strength he'd once had, but perhaps enough to allow an old   
  
trick he'd known before Impact. He felt that now, with the arrival of   
  
the Angel-turned-girl, was a prime opportunity to test his skill.  
  
Closing his eyes, he plunged into his subconscious. Feeling the   
  
familiar energy of his AT field, he reached out, bonding it to his   
  
mind. He wrapped it around himself, drawing strength from it. After a   
  
moment to collect himself, he began to project.  
  
He felt the field leave his body, taking his mind with it. It extended   
  
out from himself, down towards the Eva. He began to feel the Eva's AT   
  
field, nearly indistinguishable from his own. There was also the   
  
presence of a smaller, more alien one.  
  
He opened his eyes. Though his body continued to sit on a hill a few   
  
hundred meters away, the view he had was from much closer. He was next   
  
to Ariel, though the girl noticed nothing. Had he wished that she see   
  
him, he could have manifested a translucent form, but he saw no reason   
  
to. It was better that she not know she was being watched.  
  
The girl was running her fingers over the white armor of the Eva. She   
  
muttered something under her breath, something Kaoru was only just   
  
barely able to pick out.  
  
"Are you still trapped there, Leliel?" she asked. The girl continued   
  
walking, slowly moving up the Eva's body. "Not destroyed, as the   
  
others were...at least not in body. I felt your soul die...is there   
  
anything left?"  
  
As with Kaoru, the Eva offered no answer.  
  
"If you can hear me, your sister..." she whispered to it. "Do not   
  
pursue your vendetta against humanity. The Lilum are not just cattle,   
  
Leliel. They did not steal Mother from us. I have lived with them...I   
  
have seen where they made their stands against us...they are the   
  
rightful inheritors of this world. They fight for their   
  
existence...refuse to throw away their lives over nothing. Perhaps in   
  
that respect, they're a bit smarter than we were."  
  
Kaoru listened intently. He focused everything he had on masking his   
  
presence, knowing that the girl in front of him was particularly   
  
sensitive to AT fields, at least as far as Lilum went. If Ariel was   
  
saying these words for his benefit, she was very good at hiding it.  
  
Ariel finally stopped walking, and leaned against the Eva, touching her   
  
forehead to its cold metal surface. "If you can find Zeruel," she   
  
whispered to it, "tell him to stop. He will not listen to my   
  
entreaties. Even before we found our bodies, even before the   
  
Unification itself, he and I were at odds with one another." A cold   
  
smile came to her lips. "Our strategies were simply too different.   
  
His method of the frontal assault, and mine of...subtlety. He will   
  
not, _can_ not, listen to me. But..."  
  
Ariel went quiet, whatever words she'd been about to say vanishing from   
  
her mouth.  
  
"...please do not harm the Lilum any more," she finally said.  
  
She stood there, leaning against the Eva, for a good five minutes. The   
  
whole time, Kaoru did not move. Finally, the girl began to get up,   
  
shake herself off. Kaoru thought he could see some moisture in her   
  
eyes.  
  
^Learning to cry, are we?^ he thought. ^Perhaps you're beginning to   
  
understand the humanity within you.^  
  
He was about to leave, return to his body, when he heard a voice that   
  
made his blood freeze.  
  
^Arael,^ it said, simply.  
  
Ariel stopped in her tracks, apparently having heard it, as well.  
  
^Or perhaps you prefer the other designation these 'Lilum' gave you:   
  
target fifteen. Whatever name you now go by, know this, Angel of   
  
minds: my will is my own. Your pitiful tool Tabris cannot keep me   
  
under control indefinitely. As long as the original exists, I can be   
  
released any time I wish to be.^  
  
Ariel had by now turned to face the Eva. "Original? You mean - "  
  
^You should know that much like with my sister, I know the danger you   
  
pose.^  
  
Ariel blinked, confusion and fear spreading across her face. "But   
  
I..."  
  
Silence.  
  
"I...I am no longer one of them."  
  
Silence.  
  
"I am one of the Lil...humans, now. I am...one of the people you   
  
are to protect. I like to think that I've changed."  
  
^You remain target fifteen, Arael,^ came the reply, finally.   
  
^Regardless of your physical form, your soul remains forever   
  
that of a monster. Fortunately for you, target fourteen remains at   
  
large.^  
  
It was at this point that the Eva's back plates groaned, and began to   
  
move. Sliding noisily over each other, they peeled back, and finally   
  
the long-sought entry plug was ejected, sticking out into the cool   
  
night air.  
  
^As for who I am to protect, that concern comes second. Destruction of   
  
the targets comes first.^ There was a chilling laugh, short but   
  
piercing. ^After all, why should a being such as yourself care about   
  
collateral damage? Completion of the mission is always paramount.   
  
Sacrifices, deaths...they are all peripheral concerns. You should   
  
understand that, Arael.^  
  
Ariel took several steps back, trying to put some distance between her   
  
and the Eva. Nothing more could be heard, but a few indistinct   
  
mutterings from Ariel, words that never quite formed in her mouth.   
  
After it became clear that the Eva was through speaking - for now - she   
  
turned and bolted. She disappeared into the night, running as fast as   
  
her legs could carry her, never once looking back.  
  
Kaoru, having since returned to his body, was trying to think this one   
  
out. So the Dummy within Unit-04 was still active and, from the sound   
  
of it, no better than the one in Unit-00 had been. Yet tomorrow they   
  
would be powering up the Eva, even going so far as to put a human being   
  
into it.  
  
For a moment, Kaoru's conscience got the better of him. For a moment,   
  
he realized that he could not allow this Eva to reawaken. For a   
  
moment, he knew that Unit-04 was a danger to everyone around it.  
  
He felt a tingling, something on the edge of his consciousness, and   
  
realized that it was another being, something as powerful as the Eva in   
  
front of him now...no, it was even more so. And it was angry.   
  
In just a few days, the MP Eva that had escaped the last battle would   
  
be returning. From all reports, it had made a full recovery. Kaoru   
  
could sense it had gone past making simple repairs. It had upgraded   
  
itself...readied itself for war. It had easily been a match for a   
  
lone Eva last time. What could they expect from it this time around?  
  
He looked back to Unit-04 and sighed. Maybe, if they could just   
  
control it for this one battle...but then again, the Dummy had   
  
demonstrated before that it could break free of their control. If this   
  
one got out of hand, they would have another massacre in no time.  
  
But then again, if Unit-00 fought alone against the coming enemy, and   
  
lost...  
  
He pulled his knees up against his chest and rested his chin on them,   
  
lost in thought for a long time.  
  
***  
  
A few hours later, Kaoru still wasn't sure if he'd made the right   
  
choice.  
  
"S2 engine online and functional," he said, seated within Unit-00's   
  
entry plug.  
  
"All right," came Ritsuko's voice over the radio. "We're going to   
  
start the power transfer now."  
  
"Understood."  
  
Ritsuko had done a fair amount of study into what had happened during   
  
the berserk incident. Unit-04, not connected to any sort of power   
  
cables, had still drawn power from somewhere, enough to charge its   
  
batteries to their full limit. In the end, the answer had been simple   
  
enough: there had only been one power source anywhere near Unit-04 that   
  
could have supplied that kind of power. The thing was, it had already   
  
been mounted in another Evangelion.  
  
Unit-00, it seemed, had learned a new trick. Its S2 engine, which   
  
supplied it with enough power to run indefinitely, could be altered,   
  
made to run in an open loop that included another Eva. No one had   
  
ever considered the possibility of such a thing, hence why it had taken   
  
so long for Ritsuko to figure it out. Running two Evas off the same S2   
  
unit was quite dangerous, putting a tremendous load on the engine. It   
  
could hit its theoretical limit in no time, if they weren't careful.  
  
Kaoru understood the situation, by merit of his connection to Unit-00.   
  
He reasoned that they'd just have to be careful; there was no other way   
  
to power Unit-04. A generator of the size required to supply power   
  
externally simply could not be brought over in time for the upcoming   
  
battle. Kaoru knew he would have to be especially careful; with the S2   
  
engine seated in Unit-00, if his Eva was ever rendered inoperative,   
  
Unit-04 would lose its power supply, as well.  
  
He sat there, carefully watching Unit-04 power up, his hands on the   
  
control sticks. At the first sign of trouble, he would not hesitate to   
  
destroy it. Even if it meant injuring or killing the person inside of   
  
it. He didn't like having to think that way, but as it was, a single   
  
death was far preferable to the many another berserk Eva could cause.  
  
***  
  
"All right, we're just going to start with some simple controls."  
  
"Right on, Ritsuko-san."  
  
Ritsuko twitched at the offhand comment. This was certainly a new   
  
development. She'd been expecting them to have chosen a pilot for   
  
Unit-04 by the time she'd gotten here, but she hadn't expected _this_   
  
pilot. Aida-kun was particularly enthusiastic, a quality she found a   
  
bit unsettling, at least at first.  
  
Her surroundings were entirely different from the last time she'd   
  
trained pilots, as well. Years ago, they'd have done this in a state-  
  
of-the-art facility, with supercomputers to run VR simulations and   
  
stream data on the Eva's condition across dozens of screens. Now, they   
  
had a large canvas tent, its flaps rustling with every breeze. Instead   
  
of the MAGI, they had a couple of laptops. It wasn't very encouraging,   
  
especially considering the company she kept.  
  
"How's the ride, kid?" Lewis was asking over the radio.  
  
"Dunno, they won't let me take it out for a test drive, yet."  
  
Lewis chuckled at that. "Ain't nothin' like the first time behind the   
  
wheel."  
  
"...actually, they're control sticks, Lewis-san. What do these do   
  
again, Ritsuko-san?"  
  
"Don't touch that, Aida," Ritsuko said without looking. Aida was a   
  
particularly grabby kid, wanting immediately to know how to do   
  
everything. He was lucky she was even letting him sit in the Eva.   
  
Behind her were a bunch of technicians, also sitting at computers,   
  
monitoring minor things about the Eva. A whole group of them were   
  
clustered around one computer, studying the input from that hideous   
  
metal "eye" they'd dropped in just this morning. It was supposedly   
  
going to be stuck in the Eva later today, barring some kind of mishap.  
  
Shinji and Asuka also sat behind her, of course not wanting to miss   
  
seeing their friend at work. Misato had joined them sometime after the   
  
plug had been lowered into the Eva. They had all known to stay quiet   
  
during this exercise. Lewis, however, persisted in commandeering the   
  
radio to talk to Kensuke. The man was lucky she was even tolerating   
  
his presence. The American commander had no place here, as far as she   
  
was concerned. This was a Japanese effort, and until they managed to   
  
certify Unit-04 was working, he was just a fifth wheel.  
  
But the man had insisted, and she hadn't been in a place to disagree.   
  
Lewis had actually been a deciding factor in the whole thing, or so   
  
she'd heard. There had been some discussion over whether or not Aida   
  
would make a decent pilot or not. But the big American had said to   
  
give it a shot. 'If nothing else, an elisted man's more trustworthy   
  
than a draftee,' in his own words.  
  
Ritsuko could barely believe she'd agreed to put up with this nonsense.   
  
Aida had no training and no discipline. He'd been sitting in the Eva all   
  
morning, and he hadn't even managed to get a response from it, yet.   
  
Even Rei, who'd taken months to synch with it, had been able to at   
  
least get a blip on the screen when she'd gotten into the cockpit.  
  
At least they'd been able to get it open. She hadn't been able to   
  
believe her own eyes when Kaoru had shown her the Eva, entry plug open   
  
and ready to admit a pilot. She hadn't known what to make of the look   
  
in his eyes, though. There'd been something. . .wrong with his gaze.   
  
Like he was waiting for her to say something. Whatever it had been,   
  
she had the feeling that she hadn't done what he wanted. Now she just   
  
had to hope it wasn't going to be a problem.  
  
She'd been assuming that it would be Shinji, Asuka, or Rei who volunteered.   
  
They all had experience piloting their respective Evas. Secretly she   
  
was glad it wasn't Rei in there now. She told herself the problem was   
  
simply the unpredictability of it all: Rei's physiology kept changing.   
  
The latest blood test from her hadn't even looked like blood at all.   
  
If those tests were indicative of further changes they couldn't see,   
  
then connecting Rei to something as powerful as an Eva could have   
  
serious consequences.  
  
But Ritsuko knew, even if she didn't admit it to herself, that she just   
  
didn't want to have to look at Rei's face on the monitor. When she saw   
  
the girl in person - which was rare - their meetings were brief and to   
  
the point, with neither party enjoying the other's company. But,   
  
forced to stare at that face, bearing such a strong resemblance to...  
  
_her_...Ritsuko didn't know what she'd do. Accidents happened every   
  
once in awhile, especially where the Evas were concerned.  
  
"...look, just leave it alone," Maya was saying, next to her.  
  
Ritsuko blinked, realizing she'd zoned out, becoming preoccupied with   
  
her own thoughts. Quietly cursing herself, she turned to Maya.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, firmly, trying to cover up for her lapse.  
  
"Aida found some button in the plug and he wants to know what it does."  
  
Ritsuko blinked again, forcing her eyes to focus. "Where?" She had no   
  
doubt the answer would be quick to come. She'd surprised even herself   
  
with how much she'd remembered of the Eva's entry plug. Even with two   
  
years to forget, the information had still stayed in her brain, waiting   
  
for when she'd need it.  
  
"There," Maya responded, tapping the screen with a pen.  
  
Ritsuko looked at the indicated area, a spot on the wall of the entry   
  
plug, just barely within the pilot's reach. On it was a large red   
  
button, with no marking.   
  
Ritsuko's brow furrowed. "That's odd..." she muttered.  
  
"What is it, sempai?"  
  
"I don't remember anything like that ever being installed. Tell him to   
  
hang on..." she trailed off, as she turned to her own laptop, fingers   
  
flying over the keyboard as she tried to access the necessary   
  
schematics.  
  
"Aida," Maya began to say into the radio. "We just need you to hang on   
  
for one sec - "  
  
"Well, only one way to find out," Kensuke said, reaching for the   
  
button.  
  
"Don't touch it," Maya and Ritsuko simultaneously warned.  
  
Unfortunately, for all of Ritsuko's training, she could not fathom how   
  
tempting it is to push a large red button. As such, this time Kensuke   
  
did not heed their warning.  
  
"Ah, what harm could it do?" he asked, trying to sound casual as he   
  
pushed the button.  
  
"Aida, I said..." Maya began, then her voice abruptly died.  
  
Ritsuko looked up as her computer began to beep insistently. It was   
  
the alert of the AT-field passing by critical level...  
  
"What hap..." she tried to ask, before she, too, went quiet.  
  
Unit-04 had been standing just a few hundred meters from the tent. It   
  
was no longer there.  
  
Maya just stared at the spot where Unit-04 had been, mouth hanging   
  
open. Lewis, standing not far from them, followed suit, his cigarette   
  
falling from his lips.  
  
Ritsuko reacted as she heard the other people in the tent start to move   
  
behind her. She started going through the data on her computer,   
  
conducting a futile search for something, _anything_, that could   
  
explain this.  
  
"The engine didn't even start..." she muttered.  
  
It was the sort of tense silence that was just waiting to break. All   
  
it would take was a tiny push, one person to fully grasp what had just   
  
happened, for chaos to suddenly break out. Ritsuko looked intently at   
  
her computer screen, wishing it could tell her something to help with   
  
the inevitable flood of questions. But there was nothing: Unit-04 had   
  
simply vanished.  
  
Then, the little push came. But not in the form Ritsuko had been   
  
expecting. Not a word was said; Ritsuko's computer began to beep   
  
insistently. As one, the group looked to it. And the tension somehow   
  
grew. Three small words were displayed on the screen:  
  
BLUE PATTERN DETECTED  
  
Then there came a human noise: a gasp, from Maya. And then the storm   
  
broke.  
  
In an odd way, it was fortunate that the comptuer had been the one to   
  
trigger it: as such, Ritsuko was not suddenly deluged by questions.   
  
Panic still ensued, however. All semblance of order in the command   
  
center spontaneously dissolved. Maya began rattling off words from the   
  
screen in front of her, apparenetly just to keep her mouth moving.   
  
Behind her, Misato and Lewis were both trying to issue commands, in   
  
different languages. The other personnel were scrambling, trying to   
  
make themselves useful, trying to follow some of the orders that were   
  
flying.  
  
Then Maya suddenly let out a small scream, standing up so quickly her   
  
chair went flying backwards.  
  
"Oh my god..." she whispered, stress stealing her voice. Sound   
  
returned however, her voice quickly rising in volume. "It's right   
  
here...it's HERE! It's right above us!"  
  
Ritsuko looked at Maya's screen. "Blue pattern present!" she shouted,   
  
trying to be heard over the tumult behind her. "Materialized at half a   
  
kilometer up, rapidly descending!"  
  
Again, Lewis and Misato both tried to issue orders. They were more   
  
effective this time however, Misato shouting to the people in the   
  
command center while Lewis barked into a radio.  
  
"Calm down!" Misato was shouting, in Japanese. "Send out the alert to   
  
the encampment, get all non-combatants to safety! Get Nagisa up to   
  
full active status!"  
  
"Scramble all ground units!" Lewis was shouting, in English. "Target   
  
inbound, high velocity! Take defensive positions on the command   
  
center!" He slammed down the radio. "Someone get me Lucifer   
  
squadron!" he shouted to the rest of the room.  
  
"Incoming," was all Ritsuko said. Somehow, she was heard.  
  
As one, the people in the command center ducked, hitting the floor and   
  
covering their heads with their hands. There was a moment of hideous   
  
silence, until finally, the impact came. The ground itself heaved,   
  
as though an earthquake had struck. Computers and radios tumbled,   
  
clattering loudly to the ground, ignored in the chaos.  
  
Finally, the quake was over. People began to stand up, and immediately   
  
got back to action. They were stopped, however, as Ritsuko raised her   
  
voice.  
  
"Wait just a minute!" she shouted. "That wasn't an energy burst, it   
  
was a mass impact. Something landed..." she looked up, out one of the   
  
windows. "...and it's not moving."  
  
Lewis and Misato were looking at her quizzically by now, not   
  
understanding. Ritsuko held up a hand, telling them to wait just a   
  
moment as she went back to Maya's computer.  
  
"Cross-reference with the AT field pattern from Unit-04, and we   
  
get..." she trailed off. Brow furrowed, Ritsuko stood up straight.   
  
Calm and determined, she headed for the door to the command center.  
  
"Sem...sempai?" Maya choked out.  
  
Ritsuko opened the door, and checked outside. "Call off the alert,"   
  
she said. "False alarm."  
  
People began crowding to the door, looking out at what it was Ritsuko   
  
had seen. They were all left blinking in surprise.  
  
For outside the door lay Unit-04, spread-eagled, faced-down, and half-  
  
buried in a crater of its own making.  
  
***  
  
"What in the world happened to him?" Shinji was asking, some hours   
  
later.  
  
"Well, it seems that this Unit-04 is only a copy of the original up to   
  
a certain point," Ritsuko explained. "There's no record of the button   
  
Aida pushed in any of the schematics I had available. Whatever   
  
consciousness had possessed it must have altered the entry plug to a   
  
certain extent."  
  
"...but what _happened_ to him?" Shinji asked again, more vehemently.  
  
"Shinji-kun," Kaoru warned, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder,   
  
"please, try and calm down."  
  
Ritsuko sighed, looking at the near-desperate face of Shinji Ikari.   
  
Aida had been dug out of the Eva some minutes after its crash landing.   
  
He'd been unconscious and unresponsive; he had yet to come around. Now   
  
he was lying in a hospital room.  
  
"The sudden exposure to the intense AT field energy likely had an   
  
adverse effect on him," Ritsuko explained, trying to make it sound   
  
official enough to be plausible. "And we have no way of telling what   
  
kind of effect a sudden spatial displacement had on him."  
  
Shinji, who until now had been standing, fists clenched, finally calmed   
  
down enough for Kaoru to lower him into a chair. Ritsuko, already   
  
sitting, silently thanked Kaoru. Shinji looked like he might yet get   
  
himself under control.  
  
"I suppose, in retrospect, I shouldn't be as surprised as I am,"   
  
Ritsuko explained. "We've seen that this Unit-04 is capable of   
  
generating a Sea of Dirac by inverting its AT field. My guess is that   
  
whatever Aida did, he triggered the inversion process, resulting in the   
  
momentary creation of a Sea of Dirac. Unit-04 phased out, and then   
  
came back into existence in a different point in space. We're lucky, I   
  
suppose," she said, noting Shinji's face, "that it rematerialized so   
  
close to here. in theory anyway, travel via a Sea of Dirac can cover   
  
great distances."  
  
"You knew this would happen?" Shinji asked.  
  
Ritsuko looked at his face, and felt something rising within her. The   
  
expression on his face, of betrayal mixed with horror, was, in its own   
  
way, rewarding. ^Serves you right, son of Ikari.^  
  
"As I said, it was all theory. Though I had my suspicions, we were   
  
also operating on a schedule. At best, we only have a few days before   
  
the next attack."  
  
Shinji blinked disbelievingly, then looked down to his feet. "So   
  
you're saying you'd throw away Kensuke's life...just to make things   
  
move faster?"  
  
"The risk was acceptable," Ritsuko explained, keeping her voice even.   
  
"Had Aida not pressed the button - "  
  
"Why didn't you ask me first?" Shinji asked angrily, his voice rising.   
  
"He's...my friend. He's been with us almost since the beginning of   
  
this..."  
  
"Exactly." Ritsuko nodded, once. "I felt that your personal   
  
relationship would cloud your judgement."  
  
Shinji went quiet, breathing slowly for a few minutes, while Ritsuko   
  
and Kaoru stared at him. After awhile, he put one hand over his eyes.  
  
"So now what?" he asked. "We just wait for him to wake up?"  
  
"Yes," Ritsuko answered. "But in the meantime, there is still an   
  
attack coming. We need someone else to run Unit-04."  
  
Shinji looked back at her with eyes that almost made Ritsuko jump. The   
  
only time she'd seen a glare that harsh, that intense, it had been   
  
coming from Gendo Ikari.  
  
"You expect me to put someone else in that death machine?" he asked.   
  
Ritsuko was sure the room temperature went down a little.  
  
"There's an alternative," Ritsuko stated, trying not to flinch at his   
  
stare. "You don't have to put a friend in there, if you don't want   
  
to."  
  
Shinji's eyes remained hard for only a few moments. As he began to   
  
understand what Ritsuko was suggesting, they flickered back to their   
  
original, uncertain gaze. Ritsuko felt herself relax.  
  
"You want..." Shinji muttered.  
  
"You can think about it if you want," Ritsuko said, turning away from   
  
him. "But don't think too long, Ikari."  
  
Behind her, Ritsuko heard Shinji quietly get up, mumbling a thanks for   
  
her time. She only heard one set of footsteps leaving, though,   
  
followed by total silence.  
  
"You honestly don't know what happened, do you?" Kaoru's voice asked,   
  
quietly yet insistently.  
  
Ritsuko did not turn to face the boy. "We're treading new territory,   
  
Nagisa," she answered. "We're all learning."  
  
"Let us hope we can learn quickly, then."  
  
Ritsuko just nodded. Kaoru did not leave. After a few minutes,   
  
Ritsuko finally looked at him. He tilted his head, returning her gaze   
  
with anticipation.  
  
"Nagisa..." Ritsuko began. "This is a bit difficult..."  
  
"Yes?" Kaoru asked, in the tone of someone who already knows what the   
  
question is going to be. Ritsuko half-turned, keeping him in her   
  
peripheral vision.  
  
"I know you're a bit more. . .in tune with these sorts of situations,"   
  
Ritsuko said, choosing her words carefully. "Have you had a chance to   
  
look over Aida?"  
  
"Why no, Akagi-san," Kaoru said, innocently. "That is the job of   
  
doctors such as yourself."  
  
Ritsuko restrained a frustrated sigh. "I might have some medical   
  
training, Nagisa, but I'm not that kind of doctor." To this, Kaoru   
  
just shrugged. "In any case," Ritsuko began again, frustrated, "I'm   
  
asking you to go look at him." She tried to meet those crimson eyes.   
  
"And Unit-04. If you can. . .tell what happened, it may be possible to   
  
learn from this whole experience, instead of repeating it. We don't   
  
have the time for many mistakes, Nagisa."  
  
"I understand entirely, Akagi-san," Kaoru replied, sliding his hands   
  
into his pockets. He did not move, however.  
  
Ritsuko again had to hold in a sigh. "Thank you, Nagisa."  
  
Grinning, Kaoru turned and quickly strode out, heading for the hospital   
  
building.  
  
***  
  
Kaoru slipped quietly into the hospital room, trying not to disturb the   
  
occupant. Kensuke's unconscious form lay quietly on the bed, his chest   
  
rising and falling slowly. An EKG next to the bed beeped regularly,   
  
reading his heart rate as normal.  
  
But Kaoru knew as soon as he entered that this was not normal. He felt   
  
the presence of...something...in the room. Eyes narrowing, he looked   
  
around, but even the harsh overhead lights, which sent all shadow   
  
fleeing, could not reveal the other presence he felt.  
  
Kaoru quietly shut the door behind him. Treading carefully, he   
  
approached the bed. Kensuke lay quietly on his back, eyes closed, arms   
  
lying straight against his sides. Kaoru gently placed a hand on the   
  
boy's head.  
  
"What happened in there?" he asked, more to himself than anyone else.  
  
It might have been his imagination, but Kaoru thought he saw the boy's   
  
lips move, mouthing some kind of a response. He blinked, looking   
  
closer. Kensuke did not move.  
  
Then he heard a sound...someone - or something - moving behind him.   
  
Kaoru turned around quickly, looking back at the door.  
  
Nothing.  
  
The door was still closed, the dead gray of the concrete walls looking   
  
at him blankly. It was then that Kaoru heard something else: the   
  
single, drawn-out 'beeeeeeeeee...' of an EKG flatlining.   
  
Apprehensively, he turned back to the bed.  
  
Nothing.  
  
The bed was empty. Kaoru blinked, looking again. Empty. The EKG kept   
  
wailing away, until Kaoru impulsively switched it off.  
  
"Where are you?" he asked the room, loudly.  
  
He thought he heard something...a whisper.  
  
"What are you trying to do?" he asked.  
  
"ister...you..."  
  
Kaoru's eyes widened slightly as he saw it: drops of liquid darkness,   
  
falling from the ceiling, collecting in a puddle on the bed, where   
  
Kensuke had been up until ten seconds ago.  
  
The puddle began to grow, spreading out over the bed, spilling silently   
  
onto the floor, slowly devouring the room with its blackness.  
  
Kaoru backed away, reaching for the door handle as he kept his eyes on   
  
the pool. His hand grasped at nothing. He turned his head, eyes   
  
widening again as he saw the liquid shadow had appeared on the walls as   
  
well, spilling down them and devouring the door. His hand, reaching   
  
for the door, had landed in nothing, sucked into the growing black void.   
  
Trapped, Kaoru could only watch as the blackness spread, devouring the   
  
entire room, plunging him into darkness.  
  
He resisted a shiver as the temperature dropped. He kept himself calm,   
  
knowing that his as well as Kensuke's life were probably at stake,   
  
here.  
  
"Who are you?" he asked.  
  
"...you killed her..."  
  
"Why are you doing this? Which one are you?"  
  
"Which...one...?"  
  
A light suddenly appeared in the middle of the blackness. A hospital   
  
bed, with a human form lying on it. Kaoru walked, moving slowly   
  
towards it. Distances distorted as he walked: one moment it seemed as   
  
though he were approaching the bed, the next he was moving away. He   
  
closed his eyes, blocking out the visual illusion and feeling blindly   
  
in the darkness until he found the bed. Opening his eyes again, he   
  
looked down on the person in the bed, finding that it was Kensuke   
  
again, this time lying on his side.  
  
"What did you do to him?" Kaoru asked. "Is he alive?"  
  
"Alive? Maybe. My sister...is not alive, and it is because of   
  
you...you monster..."  
  
Kaoru, confused by the mutterings that filled the air, decided to check   
  
on Kensuke himself. He reached for the boy's form, trying to roll him   
  
onto his back again. He was quite surprised, however, when Kensuke   
  
moved, grabbing his wrist.  
  
Kensuke rolled over and looked at him. For possibly the first time in   
  
his life, Kaoru felt an emotion which he'd thought only humans could   
  
feel: fear. Kensuke's eyes were open, but they were not human eyes   
  
anymore. They'd been replaced by black pools, much like the darkness   
  
that had consumed the room.  
  
"You killed her," Kensuke said, his hand still firmly gripping Kaoru's   
  
wrist. "You killed my sister."  
  
"Sister?" Kaoru asked, not understanding. He leaned forwards, keeping   
  
himself under control. "Which one are you?"  
  
"Which one? What are you asking?"  
  
"Which Angel?" Kaoru asked. "You cannot be Leliel...that one was   
  
destroyed."  
  
"Leliel...target number twelve," Kensuke muttered. "I remember."  
  
Kaoru blinked. "But it was destroyed already. It took the form of   
  
Unit-04, and..." he trailed off as he realized what was doing this.   
  
"You...you're..."  
  
"I believe you can figure it out, target number seventeen, codename   
  
Tabris," Kensuke said, looking at Kaoru. "Just as with the others,   
  
standing orders are to destroy you."  
  
"Target..." Kaoru flinched, as Kensuke sat up quickly. He was cut off   
  
from further speech as Kensuke's free hand wrapped around his neck,   
  
choking him.  
  
"Target seventeen...destroy," Kensuke muttered. As he said this, his   
  
voice changed, becoming deeper, synthesized.  
  
As Kaoru watched, Kensuke's body changed. His skin went pale, going   
  
entirely white, then becoming blocky, armored. He grew, the bed   
  
vanishing under him as he expanded in size, still changing shape,   
  
becoming the gigantic, metallic form of Unit-04.  
  
Kaoru, now clutched in the Eva's hand, chanced a look at the other   
  
hand. Sure enough, he saw Kensuke's limp form clutched there, his head   
  
lolling to one side.  
  
"You don't want to do this," he warned.  
  
"I am quite sure you would not like me to," came the computerized voice   
  
of Unit-04. Though now clearly a machine's voice, it had a vague   
  
feminine tone to it, sounding just a little familiar. "But tell me,   
  
codename Tabris. Why should I even listen to you, the one that killed   
  
my sister?"  
  
Kaoru took a breath, at least as best he could when his chest was being   
  
compressed by a metal fist. "I did not kill her," he said. "I merely   
  
put her to sleep."  
  
"Why should I even believe you? You feared her. The best recourse was   
  
to kill her."  
  
"Fear her?" he asked. "Maybe. She was very dangerous," he continued,   
  
hoping honesty was the right way to go, here. "You were contacted by   
  
her. You know she was mad. She killed many, and would have made you   
  
do the same."  
  
A brief, dismissive snort. "_Made_ me? You say that as though I were   
  
different. By virtue of our nature, I and her were of the same mind,   
  
Tabris. Had my body not failed me, I would have joined her. She   
  
hunted target fifteen."  
  
"She destroyed many," Kaoru answered. "She would not follow orders.   
  
She killed the people she was supposed to protect."   
  
Another snort. "I have studied the situation at hand and have   
  
performed many numerical analyses. By my calculations, even if I were   
  
to kill ten thousand humans for every target destroyed, the result   
  
would still be an overwhelming victory for humanity. Those I am   
  
supposed to protect."  
  
Kaoru shuddered at the cold logic of it. "So you would prefer to be a   
  
murderer?"  
  
"Murderer? I am carrying out my assigned tasks. It is my duty to   
  
destroy the designated targets. Sacrifices can be made."  
  
Kaoru took a breath, knowing he only had scant seconds before this   
  
thing realized it could just end it right now, with a squeeze. "So you   
  
wish to be put to use, then."  
  
"As did my sister." A pause. "If any being deserves the title of   
  
murderer, it is you, Tabris. You and the other targets."  
  
He paused. "I did not kill her," he said. When it did not kill him,   
  
he saw his chance to continue, hoping against hope that this would   
  
work. "I could not end a life, not like that. Even if it made logical   
  
sense to, it just wasn't right." He took a breath, choosing his words   
  
carefully. "I have taken up the same cause as you, and yet I do not   
  
believe the ends justify the means. I believe that there are methods   
  
of achieving your goal without committing one massacre after another.   
  
It is why I listen to others, instead of tuning out everything and   
  
everyone in favor of my own opinion. You also need to learn to listen,   
  
to accept that perhaps my way...the _human_ way, is preferable."  
  
The metal fist began to squeeze. "I see no reason to," Unit-04 said,   
  
coldly. "You are weak." Squeeze. "You are fragile." Crack. "You   
  
are not someone I wish to take orders from."  
  
Kaoru's vision was beginning to blur. He'd felt something break, and   
  
he could barely breathe any more. He tried one last, desperate plea:  
  
"Then who _would_ you take orders from?" he choked out.  
  
The pressure suddenly stopped growing. "Person?" Unit-04 asked.  
  
"Yes," Kaoru managed to say, finding some breath.  
  
"Person who I...would take orders from..." The pressure suddenly   
  
lifted altogether, as Unit-04's hands went slack. Kaoru was released,   
  
falling, landing painlessly on nothing. He looked up, seeing that   
  
Kensuke was still clutched in the Eva's hand.  
  
There was still hope; it remembered that it had been made as a puppet,   
  
something that was to take orders without question. He just had to   
  
move carefully. "I may have a suggestion," Kaoru said to the Eva.   
  
"Someone...a person whom you have great respect for."  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"Because I know who you are based on," Kaoru answered. "And she is...a   
  
friend of mine. If you are anything like her, then...I think I know   
  
who you will accept as your master."  
  
"Accept...master?"  
  
"Yes. Will you try?"  
  
"Try...who is this person, this godlike individual, who you think is   
  
worth listening to?"  
  
Kaoru looked down, at his feet, for just a moment, gathering himself   
  
together. "Not a god," he said. "A boy. Someone with more strength   
  
than I'd ever thought a human could have. Someone who...finds his own   
  
reason to live, and gives a reason to others." He took a breath,   
  
letting the words come. "He is always considerate, to everyone. Even   
  
though others can hurt him, he keeps showing them only his best. Even   
  
I, a monster...something that should not be...I like to think of him as   
  
a friend."  
  
"A friend..." Unit-04 muttered.  
  
Kaoru was about to say something else, but the world suddenly began to   
  
dissolve. Unit-04 turned to dust, blowing away to nothing. Kensuke   
  
fell from Unit-04's hand, tumbling through the air and suddenly   
  
stopping. As the darkness receded, vanishing into the walls as though   
  
it had never been, Kaoru saw that the boy was again lying on the bed,   
  
looking as though he'd never moved.  
  
Kaoru let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, and sat down   
  
hard on the floor. He winced in sudden pain from his arm, feeling the   
  
fracture there. It hadn't all been an illusion, not completely. He   
  
felt tremendously lucky to still be breathing.  
  
He placed one hand on his arm, where he felt the broken bone. Closing   
  
his eyes, he focused himself. There was a crackling noise, and he   
  
tensed, as bones moved within his arm, knitting back together. When he   
  
was done, he removed his hand and moved his newly mended arm, making   
  
sure it still moved.  
  
He stood, dusting himself off. "Let us hope you recover soon, Aida,"   
  
he said, quietly, as he headed for the door. Taking another deep   
  
breath, he stepped back into the hallway -   
  
- and right into Shinji.  
  
"Oh!" Shinji exclaimed in surprise. "Sorry about that, Kaoru-kun."  
  
"It is all right, Shinji-kun," Kaoru answered.  
  
"Are you all right?" Shinji asked, looking at Kaoru strangely. "You   
  
sound out of breath."  
  
"I am fine. Thank you, though," Kaoru said, smiling at him. "Akagi-  
  
san asked me to check on Aida-kun."  
  
"Yeah, I know," Shinji said, stepping back to allow Kaoru to fully exit   
  
the hospital room, closing the door again. "Kaoru-kun. . .I think I   
  
know what to do."  
  
"Really?" Kaoru asked, raising his eyebrows.  
  
Shinji nodded. "Yes. I...I'm going to pilot Unit-04."  
  
Kaoru blinked, looking at Shinji's face for a long moment. He saw it,   
  
the emotion he'd wanted to see: determination, but also caring. Shinji   
  
might not want to be the pilot, but he'd rather it be him than another   
  
friend.  
  
Kaoru put his arm around Shinji's shoulders and began leading them both   
  
down the hall, out of the hospital building.  
  
"You have a good heart, Shinji-kun."  
  
***  
  
Shinji reflexively held his breath as the entry plug flooded with LCL.   
  
He made himself breathe the thick, orangey liquid, a familiar feeling   
  
of nausea flooding him, but only for a moment.  
  
There was a brief sensation of disorientation as his brainwaves synched   
  
with the Evangelion's systems. The plug walls glowed, swirling into a   
  
rainbow of colors before finally clearing, giving him a perfect view of   
  
the ground. Unit-04 was still lying where it had fallen, stuck in the   
  
dirt with no way to move.  
  
Except, of course, for its pilot.  
  
Shinji took a glance around the entry plug. It was all too familiar to   
  
him: a single, thinly padded seat placed before a pair of control   
  
sticks. The sticks weren't even for moving the Eva, really: they   
  
facilitated weapons control, and also gave the pilot something to hang   
  
onto if things got rough. Shinji knew all too well how necessary the   
  
latter function was.  
  
There were a few scopes on the walls, their displays translucent with   
  
the synchronization; it wouldn't do for the battery timer to get in the   
  
way during battle, after all. Currently, the timer was reading   
  
99:99:99, evidence of Unit-00's supplying power. Shinji hoped the   
  
power connection would be able to hold up in the heat of battle. It   
  
seemed a bit dubious, to him.  
  
There was also a large red button on one wall. They hadn't had time to   
  
remove it, or even figure out what was connected to it; such a task   
  
would have involved disassembling the entry plug, which would have left   
  
Unit-04 useless in the coming battle. So instead, an engineer had put   
  
a piece of duct tape over it and written in large letters: DO NOT PUSH.  
  
"All right, Shinji-kun," came Misato's voice over the radio. "Just   
  
take it nice and easy. No rush, here."  
  
"Okay, Misato-san. Just give me a minute..."  
  
He closed his eyes, focusing his essence through Unit-04. He had to   
  
seek out that feeling of disorientation, of losing physical definition,   
  
and embrace it - to a degree, anyway. He felt his body and Unit-04's   
  
overlapping.  
  
Slowly, Unit-04 began to move. Shinji moved carefully, feeling the   
  
ponderous weight of the limbs and hoping it wouldn't get in the way.   
  
He got Unit-04's hands under it, and pushed.  
  
He'd intended just to lift Unit-04's torso off the ground, in an   
  
improvised push-up. Instead, he was suddenly thrown forward in the   
  
seat by the acceleration, as Unit-04 was launched up to its feet. The   
  
view momentarily filled him with vertigo as the Eva stood at its full   
  
height for a second, then finally tilted backwards, losing its balance   
  
and crashing into a sitting position.  
  
Shinji was a bit stunned by the impact. Misato's voice rang loudly, a   
  
view window popping open with her concerned face.  
  
"Shinji-kun? Are you all right in there?"  
  
"Y...yeah, Misato-san." Shinji shook his head, feeling Unit-04 mimic   
  
the action. "Just put a little too much into that. Sorry."  
  
"Don't be." Her eyes softened, a little. "It's impressive you could   
  
move it that much after less than a minute of synchronization."  
  
"Don't be so surprised," Shinji heard a familiar voice in the   
  
background. "Everyone knows my Shinji-chan can handle himself in an   
  
Eva time trial."  
  
Shinji couldn't hold back a smile, to that. "Tell Asuka I say   
  
thanks," he said, as he tried to get Unit-04 to stand.  
  
He knew that, for all Misato said about his being able to take his   
  
time, that they were on a tight schedule. He had used to be an Eva   
  
pilot, but he was out of practice. In a perfect world, he'd have had   
  
months, perhaps even a year, to properly re-aquaint him with all the   
  
controls and subtleties. Ritsuko herself had said it could take that   
  
long.  
  
At best, he had 26 hours. The MP Eva was moving, and as the American   
  
scout planes confirmed, it was making its way to the ruins of NERV, to   
  
face the two Evas that still stood on the side of humanity.  
  
He _had_ to do this right. Too many people were depending on him for   
  
him to get it wrong. He took some comfort in knowing that they   
  
believed he could do it. Since his decision, Asuka had reminded him,   
  
time and again, that he'd managed to pull a 40% synch ratio inside of   
  
five minutes after first contact with an Eva, and was fighting Angels   
  
not long thereafter.  
  
Of course, that had been with Unit-01. He could tell that the behemoth   
  
he was sitting in now was not Unit-01. It just...felt different. Less   
  
accepting of his presence. Almost hostile, angry at being invaded.  
  
"OK Shinji-kun, looks like you've got basic movement down. I think you   
  
should try out the eye before you really do anything serious."  
  
Fully half of the view from Unit-04's optics was rendered into shades   
  
of green. Its one eye, replaced by a mechanical monstrosity that made   
  
the whole head lopsided, gave him quite a different view of the world.   
  
A keypad had been jury-rigged into the entry plug, allowing him to   
  
shift the lens through a variety of spectrums and electronic filters.   
  
Supposedly, it would increase Unit-04's combat ability. That is, if   
  
he could adjust to looking at the split view.  
  
He tried a few different combinations. Electromagnetic made the   
  
Americans' trucks show up like flares, but the rest of the world was   
  
thrown into darkness. A computer extrapolation view rendered   
  
everything as wire-frames; supposedly it could let him see through   
  
things like fog or rain.   
  
Infra-red was interesting, putting the world into shades of blue and   
  
green, dotted with blotches of red and orange where human beings were.   
  
Unit-04's own body showed up quite warm, in that view.  
  
He was about to try a new setting when he noticed something odd: a   
  
small blotch, human-sized, standing not a hundred meters from Unit-04.   
  
He didn't know what to make of it, since all personnel had been   
  
evacuated from the area around Unit-04, for safety concerns. Even   
  
stranger was that this humanoid shape was registering as cool, its body   
  
showing up in the greens and blues of the environment, with just a hint   
  
of dull orange near its center.  
  
Blinking in confusion, Shinji zoomed in, another benefit of the   
  
cyberneic eye Unit-04 had been fitted with. He soon got the image   
  
rendered in perfect detail, as though he were standing right next to   
  
the person.  
  
For it was definitely a person. A girl, standing there with her hands   
  
clasped at her waist, her head tilted down a little, as though in   
  
shame. A light breeze tugged gently at her short hair.  
  
She lifted her head, and he saw her eyes, glowing a bright white in the   
  
thermal view. Shinji jumped a little at the glow, and hit the keypad   
  
to switch the view back to the visible spectrum.  
  
Nothing.  
  
The switch back to visible light took less than a second. But in that   
  
eyeblink, the figure he'd seen vanished, leaving him with a view of the   
  
ground she'd been standing on. Shinji blinked, wondering what that had   
  
been. He zoomed a bit more, seeing something on the ground...small   
  
drops, fallen where the girl's feet had been. Water? It hadn't been   
  
raining...  
  
"Something wrong, Shinji-kun?"  
  
Shinji snapped out of it, zooming back to the standard view. "Uh...no,   
  
sorry Misato-san. Just thought I...saw something."  
  
"Oh." There was a pause, during which Shinji could feel Misato quietly   
  
asking him what it had been. He said nothing.  
  
"All right then," Misato finally said, seeing that he wasn't going to   
  
be explaining himself. "Let's get to work. ETA of the target is 25   
  
hours and 36 minutes, and I want you to at least be able to use the   
  
Prog Knife by then."  
  
"All right. So what's next?"  
  
***  
  
It was absolutely amazing how quickly time could pass when you weren't   
  
looking. 25 hours had seemed like such a long time. Now, Shinji could   
  
almost feel the ticking of his watch, counting down the minutes to when   
  
he'd have to be in the Eva.  
  
Of all the times for Kaoru to disappear. Not two hours ago the boy had   
  
been there with Shinji, getting the Evas ready for action. It turned   
  
out that the American excavation team had been working on NERV for   
  
quite some time already. They'd actually found a small cache of Eva-  
  
sized weapons in an underground storage hangar, at least a few of which   
  
were still in serviceable condition. They had to get ready, place   
  
those weapons at strategic locations so they could be ready for battle.  
  
Shinji had taken his eyes off the boy for just a few minutes, which had   
  
been more than enough time for him to vanish into thin air. Now he was   
  
searching around, trying not to appear too frantic, looking for his   
  
friend.  
  
Shinji was surprised he hadn't thought of the confinement cell sooner.   
  
This was the last place he had time to look; at best he had half an   
  
hour before Unit-04 had to be powered up and in position. He was   
  
secretly glad for this last-minute distraction; it had been enough to   
  
take his mind off of the impending battle. He didn't want to have to   
  
think about how that would go, not now. He'd like to think that the   
  
things he imagined were far worse than anything he could possibly run   
  
into out there. But he knew the case to be otherwise. The Evangelions   
  
were like something out of a dream - or perhaps a nightmare. More than   
  
once in the past, they had shown how they could defy all expectations.  
  
The cell was, like much of the rest of this camp, a hastily built   
  
structure, composed of concrete slabs. It was only slightly different   
  
from the other faceless blocks: it lacked windows, and instead of wood   
  
its door was made from solid steel, with a single, small window of   
  
bulletproof glass. There was only one guard standing outside the cell,   
  
his rifle slung over his shoulder. He didn't seem to care that the   
  
heavy door was slightly ajar.  
  
"Things should go all right," came a familiar voice from within the   
  
cell. Judging from the American soldier's face, he didn't understand   
  
the Japanese. It was just as well. Shinji nodded at the man, who   
  
barely acknowledged him in turn.  
  
"Even if it has joined itself with its weapon, the upgrade will only go   
  
so far," Kaoru was saying. Shinji stood outside the door, listening.   
  
He swallowed, knowing he shouldn't really be eavesdropping. As the   
  
leader of the Japanese people here, he was perfectly within his rights   
  
to go in with the prisoner. But...  
  
"After all, this time around we have a fair idea of its capabilities,"   
  
Kaoru continued. "And we know how to counter them. That, and two   
  
functional Evas on our side."  
  
Shinji hesitated. His foot began to step towards the crack in the   
  
door, leading inside. But he stopped himself before he could go any   
  
further.  
  
"I know Shinji-kun to be a good pilot. I've seen him myself," Kaoru   
  
continued. Judging from rise and fall of the volume of his voice, he   
  
was pacing, walking around the room as he talked. That was odd;   
  
normally people only paced like that when they were nervous. So was   
  
Kaoru...  
  
"With the weapons cache from within NERV, we should be able to mount a   
  
decent resistance. We'll be meeting it some kilometers from here; you   
  
shouldn't feel much past a few vibrations now and then, Rei."  
  
"You will succeed."  
  
Shinji's eyes widened slightly, as he heard the other voice. It had   
  
been some time since he'd even seen her. Given the circumstances   
  
they'd parted under, he hadn't known if it would be a good idea for him   
  
to come here. Every time he thought about it, he remembered the look   
  
in Rei's eyes from earlier, just after the Dummy had gone berserk. A   
  
sort of cold rage, the kind that can burn away all thought of remorse,   
  
or mercy. Would she have that look again, if he went in now?  
  
"You sound rather confident in that, Rei," Kaoru replied.  
  
"You will prevail," Rei said.  
  
Shinji found himself moving again, and this time he didn't stop   
  
himself. The heavy door swung slowly aside.  
  
Inside, the cell was mostly empty. The main decoration was a simple   
  
mat on the ground, serving as a bed. Rei sat upon it now, looking none   
  
the worse for wear after a few days in here. Kaoru stood a few steps   
  
away from her, his hands in his pockets, and his eyes tight. The tense   
  
look about him faded as he looked over at Shinji.  
  
"Hello there, Shinji-kun," he said, forcing a smile. "Just came to   
  
visit, you know."  
  
"Kaoru, I...uh..." Shinji tried to begin. He shook his head, clearing   
  
it. "It's time."  
  
Kaoru's lips went thin, and he took a breath, closing his eyes.   
  
Finally, he nodded, smiling again.  
  
"Of course it is, Shinji-kun. We should be going."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Kaoru started for the door. Shinji began to turn around, but stopped,   
  
suddenly; Rei had finally looked at him. Shinji suddenly became   
  
unaware of the rest of the world, did not even notice Kaoru leave. He   
  
could only see those crimson eyes, holding him fast.  
  
He tried to find words, thinking that he should say something. But he   
  
could find nothing to say; his mouth stayed shut, as he returned the   
  
stare, unwillingly but unavoidably.  
  
Her eyes held none of the hate he'd seen earlier. Rather, they were   
  
the impassive gaze he remembered. They studied him, carefully taking   
  
in every feature, never even blinking.  
  
Finally, Rei turned her head away, breaking the stare. "You should be   
  
going," she said.  
  
"I..." Shinji tried to say, but the sentence died in his mouth. He   
  
just nodded, turning to go.  
  
"You will succeed," Rei said to his back.  
  
Shinji froze for a moment, hearing her. When she'd said it to Kaoru,   
  
it had been one thing, but saying it to him...was different. The   
  
absolute assurance in her voice was a bit disconcerting. It was   
  
simultaneously reassuring to know that she was that confident, and at   
  
the same time strangely frightening.  
  
^You will survive.^  
  
Shinji blinked, as an old, nearly repressed memory surfaced,   
  
momentarily. He shook his head, pushing it back down into his   
  
subconscious, and walked out. He only vaguely remembered closing the   
  
door behind him, hearing the lock click shut.  
  
He started for the Eva. As he'd said himself, it was time.  
  
***  
  
"How's it working now, Shinji-kun?"  
  
"Could be better," Shinji muttered, his hands clenching the controls of   
  
the Eva. Even after getting re-acquainted with synchronization,   
  
sitting inside Unit-04 was still an unsettling experience. It was   
  
something like balancing on a pole thirty stories high. He felt that   
  
even the slightest twitch would be enough to send him toppling face-  
  
first into the ground.  
  
It wasn't a very comforting feeling, especially considering the   
  
circumstances.  
  
"We picked up the blue pattern a few kilometers out, Shinji-kun,"   
  
Misato's voice crackled over the radio. "From all indications, it's   
  
the same as the one that escaped from the last attack."  
  
"All right," Shinji replied automatically, barely hearing her. He knew   
  
this was it. Something inside him was whispering, telling him that   
  
this was no false alarm. _It_ was here. _It_ had come for them.  
  
"What is the situation on backup, Misato-san?" Kaoru asked, sounding as   
  
calm as ever. Any hint of nervousness he might have had was gone.   
  
Shinji envied him. His heart was going like a hummingbird.  
  
There was a pause on the other end of the radio. Finally, the gruff   
  
voice of Lewis answered. "Lucifer squadron is in the air. They're on   
  
standby about fifty miles out. We're ready to go the moment you get   
  
that AT field down."  
  
"They are loaded with the appropriate munitions, correct?" Kaoru   
  
asked. He didn't bother correcting Lewis on his use of miles instead   
  
of kilometers.  
  
A dismissive laugh. "What kinda idiot you take me for, kid? Yeah,   
  
they've got the best America's got to offer. Pair of HEAD missiles   
  
loaded on each jet. You just get that shield outta the way, and we'll   
  
do the rest."  
  
The voice within Shinji warned him not to take the American boast too   
  
seriously. True, if any of Kensuke's babble about those missiles was   
  
correct, then each impact would have something just short of a nuclear   
  
yield. But even that might not be enough. Time and again, it had been   
  
shown that only something with the power of an Eva could fight another   
  
Eva.  
  
He felt droplets of water falling, and resisted the urge to cover his   
  
head. It was just something he was feeling through his sympathetic   
  
link to the Eva. Though his body was protectively sealed in the Eva's   
  
chest, he could feel the rain beginning to fall onto its armored skin.  
  
"Lovely weather," Kaoru commented. The sky had clouded up half an hour   
  
ago. Everyone had been hoping it would clear up in time for the   
  
battle, but it looked like their hopes hadn't been answered. "Are you   
  
doing all right, Shinji-kun?"  
  
"I'm all right," Shinji lied. He'd been almost unable to hear Kaoru   
  
over the roar of his own heartbeat in his ears.  
  
A small window appeared in Shinji's field of view. Kaoru's pale face   
  
looked at him, over the message that this was a private channel.   
  
"Shinji-kun..." Kaoru said, quietly, "I just want to say again, you are   
  
a good person. Doing this so that someone else does not have to."  
  
Shinji made himself take a breath. "Thank you, Kaoru-kun," he replied.  
  
It was something, at least. It was good to be told he was doing the   
  
right thing, once in awhile. Just once, to be told that in all his   
  
fumbling, he'd somehow hit on the right decision.  
  
He felt something. A small tremor, rippling through his skin.   
  
Thunder. The storm had broken, and now poured rain a tumult of rain   
  
upon them.  
  
"Don't worry, Shinji-kun," Kaoru said, again over a private channel.   
  
"Visibility should not really matter. This time, we are better   
  
prepared."  
  
Unit-00, standing in front of Unit-04, raised its arms, displaying its   
  
palette rifle for its companion. Shinji nodded slowly, his hands   
  
clenching around the feel of his own rifle. It was comforting to know   
  
that they'd been able to get a few of the weapons working. If things   
  
worked out correctly, then they wouldn't have to see the enemy. If   
  
they could just bullseye it with their radar, they could take it down   
  
at a distance, without needing to get into the nightmare of close range   
  
combat.  
  
Kaoru was probably have a harder time seeing than Shinji. The new eye   
  
implant was still disconcerting, with half his field of view looking   
  
normal and the other half rendered into the green haze of night vision.   
  
Shinji was sure he was going to come out of this cross-eyed. But at   
  
least the eye could compensate for the rain: radar extrapolations could   
  
be projected directly onto his field of view, giving him a shot at   
  
targets he wouldn't have seen with his normal eye.  
  
He glanced at the wall of the entry plug, to the timer that was   
  
currently up to 99:99:99. He wondered how long Unit-00 was going to be   
  
able to power both of them.  
  
There was another rumbling. Shinji at first passed it off as more   
  
thunder. But as Unit-00 tensed in front of him, and the chatter from   
  
the command center died off, he began to realize it was something else.  
  
More rumbling, coming at steady intervals. "It's on the ground," Kaoru   
  
commented, needlessly. Shinji mumbled in agreement.  
  
"Not yet in range," Kaoru said. "Ibuki-san, what do you see?"  
  
"Not much more than shhhhh...gisashhhhhhhh...." her voice suddenly   
  
vanished into a hiss of static.  
  
"AT field interference," Kaoru commented. "It's going to make   
  
communication difficult without line-of-sight, Shinji-kun."  
  
"OK, Kaoru-kun. Just...just keep talking, OK?"  
  
Kaoru smiled at him over the tiny comm window. "Of course." More   
  
footsteps. "It's moving quickly..." a sudden silence. "Hm...perhaps   
  
it's gone airborne, again. If it could see us, it would recognize the   
  
threat..."  
  
Now thunder began to come rapidly, the rumblings overlapping with each   
  
other in a continuous hum. It felt like an earthquake.  
  
"Interesting..." Kaoru mumbled, absentmindedly. "Perhaps it's trying   
  
to mask its seismic presence. Firing into the ground with the   
  
appropriate force would make the right tremor. It's probably still   
  
moving, but it will be difficult to ascertain its position. It could   
  
even be behind us."  
  
"...Kaoru-kun?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"That's not helping."  
  
Another grin, this one more apologetic. "Sorry, Shinji-kun, but I am   
  
only able to work with what I have." He glanced away, at some other   
  
screen. "I will tell you when it is in range."  
  
Shinji looked around, vainly trying to search the darkness with his   
  
Eva's eyes. Rain coursed off his head and down his shoulders, giving   
  
him a chill. He realized, then, that the rumbling had stopped.  
  
"Where..."  
  
Suddenly, he got the horrible sensation of being watched. An almost   
  
forgotten animal instinct of knowing when someone is standing directly   
  
behind you. He slowly turned around.  
  
He saw it.  
  
And screamed.  
  
His finger clenched on the rifle's trigger, and the gun began writhing   
  
in his grip, firing wildly in every direction. The thing in front of   
  
him twitched, move too quickly for him to see, and suddenly he was   
  
flying, a profound sense of vertigo washing over him as he tumbled end-  
  
over-end through the air.  
  
"Shinji-kun!" Kaoru was shouting at him over the comm. "What is it?   
  
Why are you firing?"  
  
Unit-04 impacted the ground, rolling with the inertia before finally   
  
grinding to a halt. Shinji somehow found words amid the dizziness.   
  
"Kaoru-kun! It's right behind you, Kaoru-kun! It's...it's HUGE!" He   
  
clenched his hands, trying to grab his rifle, and found that it wasn't   
  
there. The impact, either from the first blow or from the landing, had   
  
torn the weapon from his hands. Except for the Progressive knife, he   
  
was now unarmed.  
  
"Shinji-kun, what are you talking about?" Kaoru asked, confusion   
  
evident in his voice, but still clearly in control of himself.   
  
"Nothing is appearing on radar. There is not even a blue pattern."  
  
Shinji began crawling back to his feet, wincing as an intense burning   
  
filled him. Looking down, he saw Unit-04's armor had been breached. A   
  
slash ran up from its waist all the way to its shoulder, with a red   
  
river of blood flowing from it. Unit-04 had been torn open like a tin   
  
can, and it had only taken a single, momentary blow, even through the   
  
AT field.  
  
"Wait..." Kaoru was saying. "I have a hit on radar, and it's not you.   
  
I'm going to investigate. Back me up, Shinji-kun."  
  
"Kaoru-kun..." Shinji wheezed, through the pain, "Don't do it. I can't   
  
make it."  
  
"Hurry along now, Shinji-kun," Kaoru chided, as the comm window closed.  
  
Groaning, Shinji managed to get Unit-04 on its feet and balanced again.   
  
He started the giant Eva stumbling towards Kaoru's last transmission.  
  
There was a hiss over the radio, as Kaoru moved in and out of line-of-  
  
sight. "I see it, Shinji-kun. My, it _is_ a large - "  
  
The line suddenly went dead quiet. Shinji had never heard a more   
  
frightening silence in his life. He was sure his heart stopped the   
  
next moment, as the timer on the entry plug wall beeped. Shinji looked   
  
away for a second, to see the timer.  
  
It was ticking down, already at 4:48:05. Shinji swallowed, his eyes   
  
going wide as he watched the numbers rapidly ticking down.  
  
The nightmare ended, then, as the timer suddenly went back to 99:99:99.   
  
Kaoru's voice came back over the radio.  
  
"My ammo is expended, Shinji-kun. I am going to rearm. Can you cover   
  
me?"  
  
"Kaoru-kun, I don't have a rifle!" Shinji almost screamed into the   
  
radio.  
  
"Improvise, then," Kaoru replied, keeping his voice calm, but still   
  
sharply commanding. "I need thirty seconds."  
  
Shinji swallowed again, and began walking, fighting for balance as he   
  
moved towards what his radar had identified as a transient signal, a   
  
blue pattern that was not Kaoru. The rain began to let up as he moved.  
  
He looked around, turning Unit-04's head back and forth, switching the   
  
eye through various spectrums in a vain attempt to see something,   
  
anything.  
  
Then the lightning flashed, and he saw it.  
  
It was an MP Eva, like the others...and yet not. It had grown to   
  
massive proportions, standing half again as tall as Unit-04. Its wings   
  
were deployed, curving up past its shoulders before looping down to   
  
hang with their tips just at its ankles. Their feathers were not the   
  
pure white the MP's usually had, but jet black instead. Its arms   
  
looked different, as well: hardened somehow, covered in an insectlike   
  
chitin. They were also longer, hanging so low that the fingers almost   
  
reaching its knees.  
  
Most frightening of all was its countenance. The MP Eva's elongated   
  
head, permanently grinning at him, was unsettling enough. This unit   
  
was worse: in place of humanlike teeth, it grinned with long, sharp   
  
fangs, like a mouthful of razors. Just below this fearsome visage   
  
was another "face", a skull-like growth jutting out of his chest staring   
  
at him with dead, black eye holes.  
  
Shinji's breath caught, looking at the demon. His hands clenched and   
  
unclenched on the control sticks, as _it_ looked at him, slavering   
  
drool from its mouth, the skull on its chest moving, grinning at him,   
  
as though it knew something he did not.  
  
One of its arms seemed to dissolve, slowly melting into a silvery,   
  
metallic goo. Shinji watched, disbelieving, as the arm reshaped   
  
itself, becoming flatter. So flat that it was nearly a two-  
  
dimensional ribbon, its mirror-smooth surface reflecting both the   
  
shattered face of Unit-04 and the monstrous face of the MP Eva. As   
  
Shinji stared, the unbelievably thin arm moved sinuously, snakelike,   
  
up, to point at him.  
  
Had Shinji not felt he was looking at something familiar, his reflexes   
  
alone would not have saved him. The arm suddenly shot towards him,   
  
defying all laws of physics and conservation of mass as it spanned the   
  
distance to Shinji in less time than it took to blink.  
  
Shinji had already started moving, trying to dodge before the blow   
  
came. Unit-04 leaned to the side just barely enough to avoid being   
  
eviscerated. The ribbon arm clipped Unit-04's head, just above the new   
  
eye. It was a shallow wound, but Shinji still winced, as the razor-  
  
sharp arm sliced through the armor as though it were butter.  
  
Unit-04 tumbled to the ground, which saved it again. The impossibly   
  
long arm whipped through the air, coming down where Unit-04 had been a   
  
moment ago. The ground was neatly split, even as the arm began to   
  
retract. The MP Eva made one last stab, slashing Unit-04 across the chest,   
  
before finally retracting its weapon. It was now grinning even   
  
wider.  
  
It did not flinch, even as something impacted its shoulder, exploding   
  
into a cloud of flame which the rain almost instantly damped out. The   
  
MP Eva turned, more interested than actually afraid, to see what the   
  
new threat was. As it did so, however, the skull on its chest flashed,   
  
briefly. Shinji had just enough time to wonder what that had been   
  
before the ground erupted under him, sending Unit-04 tumbling as a   
  
gigantic flaming cross split the earth.  
  
Unit-00 stood, facing the MP Eva and holding a clip-fed rocket   
  
launcher. It flinched, as it saw its companion so quickly dispatched.   
  
It fired, again and again.  
  
The MP Eva did not bother to dodge. The rockets struck its pebbly   
  
skin, exploding into pyrotechnic fury, all for naught. The MP Eva did   
  
not even sway with the force from the explosions; it remained stock-  
  
still, its grinning face emerging from the flames every time.  
  
Finally, the MP Eva lashed out with its ribbon-arm, the limb again   
  
moving with blinding speed. Had it been aiming for Unit-00, it may   
  
well have felled the mighty Eva with that single blow. Instead, the   
  
arm sliced perfectly through the rocket launcher itself, igniting all   
  
the remaining ammunition.  
  
Unit-00 was thrown off-balance as its own weapon suddenly exploded.   
  
Stumbling backwards, it tried to find its feet. The MP Eva retracted   
  
its arm, apparently undamaged by the explosion. The ribbon flowed,   
  
again becoming liquid, re-forming into the muscular, apelike arm it had   
  
been minutes ago.  
  
The rain was still falling, gently, on the three giants. During the   
  
combat, Unit-04 had crawled back to its feet. Shinji had been   
  
paralyzed for a moment, watching Kaoru try to fight the demon-mech.   
  
He'd tried to warn his friend, tried to call out to Kaoru to just run,   
  
but his voice hadn't been working. Then, he'd seen it: his rifle,   
  
fallen to the ground not a hundred meters from his Eva.  
  
As the MP Eva began to advance on the off-balance Unit-00, Shinji went   
  
for the rifle. He picked it up, forcing his hands to go through the   
  
motion of readying it. He had to act, _now_. Before the MP Eva could   
  
hurt Kaoru. Before he could second-guess himself into inaction, again.   
  
If he flinched, if he froze...Kaoru was going to die.  
  
He tried to run, but his legs weren't cooperating very well. Unit-04   
  
hesitantly approached the MP Eva, holding its rifle defensively in   
  
front of it.  
  
Unit-04's computer beeped that the target was in range, as the MP Eva   
  
reached out one muscular arm to grab Unit-00, crush it in its clawlike   
  
hand. Shinji closed his eyes and squeezed the trigger.  
  
The rifle kicked in his hands, suddenly aiming high. Shinji's eyes   
  
flew open, as he tried to aim the stream of bullets at the MP Eva. He   
  
watched, feeling his heartbeat accelerate, as the rounds just deflected   
  
off its flesh.  
  
Shinji's eyes glanced momentarily away from the main screen, as the   
  
rifle clicked dry. His eyes widened, as he saw the readouts on the   
  
blue pattern. Unit-00's and Unit-04's combined AT fields should have   
  
been enough to get through its defenses, by now. But instead, its AT   
  
field was as strong as ever, a sinusoid going across the screen,   
  
resisting all efforts to elminate it. Shinji began to understand the   
  
smug grin that remained on its face, even now as it turned to face him.  
  
"Shinji-kun, don't!" Kaoru shouted over the comm. "You can't stop it   
  
with that!"  
  
"What _can_?!" Shinji shouted back, stepping backwards as the MP Eva   
  
began to walk towards him. "Kaoru-kun...we can't even dent it!"  
  
"Keep trying!" Unit-00 had risen now. It charged the MP Eva from   
  
behind, swinging its metal fist.  
  
The MP Eva's arm twisted around behind its body, whipping through the   
  
air and catching the punch just before it could impact. Shinji heard   
  
Kaoru's noise of surprise over the comm, followed soon thereafter by a   
  
cry of pain. The MP Eva was squeezing, crushing Unit-00's fist into a   
  
pulp. The truly frightening part was that it didn't even look like it   
  
was exerting itself. It almost seemed to be having fun.  
  
"No!" Shinji shouted at it. "Please! Leave him alone!"  
  
Unit-00 tried to defend itself, swinging its other arm. The blow was   
  
batted away like a fly. The MP Eva grabbed Unit-00's throat, its long   
  
fingers wrapping completely around the Eva's neck. A sickening   
  
crunching noise began to fill the air as it applied the same pressure   
  
it was to Unit-00's fist.  
  
"No!" Shinji screamed again. He was running, charging towards it,   
  
holding the rifle above his head like a club. "Kaoru-kun, hang on!"  
  
"Shinji-kun..." came the strangled response. "Don't..."  
  
It was useless to try dissuading the boy. Shinji swung the rifle at   
  
it, impacting solidly between its huge wings.  
  
In one respect, he was successful. The MP Eva released Unit-00, which   
  
promptly slumped to the ground at its feet. But Shinji knew he had   
  
done little. The rifle had shattered across the Eva's back, as though   
  
it were no more substantial than a twig.  
  
With speed belied by its huge form, the MP Eva spun around, switching   
  
its attention back to Shinji. Its flexible arms whirled and twisted   
  
around its body before coming to bear on its new target. Shinji felt   
  
his head slammed backwards, staring at the sky for a moment before his   
  
view was obscured completely.  
  
He felt a pressure on his skull, accompanying the sudden blindness.   
  
Then came a pulling, a huge tension on his neck as his feet suddenly   
  
became light, the weight of the Eva vanishing. Shinji gasped,   
  
both in pain and in realization of his situation.  
  
It had his head in its fist. It had lifted him entirely off the   
  
ground, holding him before it, raising Unit-04 up to its own eye level.   
  
And, as Shinji groaned in pain, it began to squeeze.  
  
^I...remember you...^  
  
Shinji's eyes, slammed shut in pain, popped open. A voice had spoken   
  
to him. Not over the comm; it had sounded directly in his mind. It   
  
was an eerily calm voice, something malicious. Something inhuman.  
  
^You...the one who...^  
  
Shinji's mouth opened in a silent, choked scream. Unit-04's skull was   
  
slowly imploding under the force. Its new eye shattered, the metal and   
  
glass not up to the stress.  
  
^...the one who...killed me...^  
  
The head casing was beginning to crack, a fracture growing over Unit-  
  
00's head. Shinji held his head in agony, losing his synch ratio with   
  
Unit-04. The Eva was going limp, no longer able to defend itself.  
  
^What will you do now, _boy_? Will you not do battle?^  
  
The other eye burst. Unit-04's jaw began to creak, fracturing slowly.  
  
^Or will you...just die...^  
  
Shinji screamed.  
  
And somewhere, a few miles off, at the relative safety of the base   
  
outside of NERV, something stirred in the makeshift cell block.  
  
Rei Ayanami's eyes opened.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Endnote: You didn't _really_ think I was going to break Eva canon and   
  
put in a new pilot, did you? Probably had a few of you going for   
  
awhile, there.  
  
No, while I'm rewriting Eva canon I stick solely to putting in new   
  
characters while killing off old ones...eh, maybe I said too much.  
  
Heh heh.  
  
Well, stay tuned for the next chapter.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Started: June 18, 2003  
  
Version 1 Ended: July 19, 2003  
  
Version 2 Ended: August 11, 2003  
  
As always, thanks go to my prereaders: Avatar of Dragonia, Heavyarms Kai,  
  
and Judging Eagle. Special thanks go to Avatar of Dragonia, for his  
  
ideas for several key scenes in this chapter. 


	22. Chapter 18

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
  
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
  
them.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
" " = speech   
  
^ ^ = thoughts   
  
_ _ = italics   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
  
Chapter 18: When Angels Fall  
  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
  
Rei opened her eyes.  
  
She'd heard it: not with her ears, but with her mind. Something within   
  
her was resonating, feeling the rush of battle mere kilometers from   
  
where she lay in confinement. She could sense Units 00 and 04   
  
struggling, giving ground to their enemy. And then, she'd heard the   
  
scream.  
  
She could no longer tolerate being kept here. She sat up on the mat   
  
she had for a bed, getting to her feet moments later. There was no   
  
haste in her actions, simply a cold determination. Squaring her   
  
shoulders, she moved to the door, and ran her fingers along its edge.   
  
It was locked from the outside, and made of good steel. The only   
  
opening in it was a small window made from bulletproof glass. This   
  
thing would resist even the most determined strikes; unarmed, she would   
  
not be able to open it. However, as the feeling of power welling up   
  
within her proved, Rei was not unarmed.  
  
The guard outside half-turned his head, looking in through the small   
  
window. "There a problem, girl?" he asked in English. "Don't think   
  
you can get me to open this door, 'cause the only way _that's_   
  
happening is - "  
  
The man never got to finish his sentence, as the window suddenly   
  
cracked, then shattered. The door buckled, as though struck by a   
  
gigantic fist from within the cell. The guard jumped back just in time   
  
to avoid being hit by the door as it was ripped clear out of the wall,   
  
flying away as though it weighed no more than a tissue.  
  
On the other side of the hole the door had previously occupied, Rei   
  
stood serenely, her eyes focused, her arms hanging limp at her sides.   
  
Slowly and deliberately, she walked forwards, through the cloud of dust   
  
hanging in the air, her feet crunching on ruined stone.  
  
The guard, meanwhile, had reached for his gun. A .45 came out, the   
  
safety snapping off almost before it was out of the holster. The guard   
  
pointed it shakily at Rei.  
  
"H...hey," he said, trying to sound in control. "Don't you try   
  
anything...I...I don't want to..."  
  
Rei sharply turned her head, catching him with her eyes. The man   
  
paled, looking at that face, at the eyes the color of blood, that froze   
  
him like ice. Barely even aware of what he was doing any more, he felt   
  
his finger tighten on the trigger.   
  
The gun bucked in his hand, the loud bang from the shot washing over   
  
him too quickly for him to even notice. As the smoking shell casing   
  
hit the ground near his foot, he blinked.  
  
Where Rei had been standing just a moment ago, there was nothing. It   
  
was as though in between the time he'd fired and the time the bullet   
  
had reached her, she had just vanished. He blinked again, dropping his   
  
gun to the ground. His hand fumbled at his belt, finding a radio.  
  
"Uh...sir?" he said into the radio, fighting to keep control over his   
  
voice. "You're not going to believe this."  
  
  
  
***  
  
Kaoru watched as the enormous MP Eva struck Unit-04. An open-handed   
  
hammer blow to the face, hard enough to make Unit-04's head jerk back   
  
for a moment, before the MP Eva got a hold. Now, the MP Eva was   
  
holding Unit-04 by its head, suspended off the ground. It was   
  
squeezing, hard enough that Kaoru could hear Unit-04's armor cracking.   
  
Unit-04 itself was motionless, its limbs hanging useless at its sides,   
  
like some kind of overgrown doll.  
  
"Shinji! Shinji!" Kaoru shouted into his radio. "Can you hear me?   
  
Shinji, please respond!"  
  
The line stayed quiet, going full of static as the MP Eva continued to   
  
crush Unit-04's head with its bare hand. Suddenly, though, the static   
  
vanished, as a connection was made.  
  
"Shinji?" Kaoru asked, hopeful.  
  
"Far from it, Tabris," came a deep voice from the radio, cold and even.  
  
Kaoru felt a chill. "No..."  
  
"This body has given me intimate knowledge of how the Lilum speak with   
  
one another. Though these airborne energy waves they use for distance   
  
communication are painfully inefficient, they serve my purposes."  
  
"You...what do you want?"  
  
"I believe you know the answer to that question, Tabris." The MP Eva   
  
squeezed a little harder. Blood from Unit-04's ruined cranium was now   
  
oozing down between its assailant's fingers. "I want to find _her_."  
  
Kaoru hesitated. "Ayanami?" He moved Unit-00 into a more solid   
  
fighting stance. "I won't let you have her, you monster."  
  
"You insult me, Tabris. I care little for Zero. Without one of these   
  
copies of Father to protect her frail body, she is of little   
  
consequence to me. I want to see the one who fought me earlier. The   
  
great warrior who maimed me. I need to test myself against that one."  
  
Kaoru, seeing Unit-04 still hanging helpless in the demon-mech's grasp,   
  
started Unit-00 towards it. "The warrior you are referring to is no   
  
more," he said, firmly. "I took care of that."  
  
"What?" the voice over his radio said. The MP Eva's head whipped   
  
around to stare at him, its tongue lolling out of its mouth, over its   
  
array of sharp teeth.  
  
"She was a danger to the people I protect," he explained. "So I put   
  
her to sleep." He took a breath. "It is me you want, Zeruel."  
  
The MP Eva regarded him curiously for a moment, then its grin widened.   
  
"As you wish," it said, coldly.  
  
Before Kaoru could even shout to stop, the MP Eva whipped Unit-04   
  
through the air by its head, smashing it bodily into the ground. The   
  
impact was hard enough that the armor on its body fractured, spiderweb   
  
cracks appearing all over its surface. Its form sank deep into the   
  
ground, spread-eagled and motionless.  
  
The MP Eva finally released its grip, revealing Unit-04's crushed   
  
skull. The damage was so severe that it was barely even   
  
distinguishable as a head, anymore. Kaoru froze, looking at it.  
  
"You...you monster..."  
  
"Words are of little consequence, Tabris. Now, champion of free will,   
  
you will show me what you are capable of."  
  
The MP Eva simply moved too fast for Kaoru to have any hope of dodging.   
  
Unit-00 was backhanded across the chest, the force such that the   
  
tremendous form of Unit-00 went flying. Kaoru struggled to control the   
  
Eva in mid-air, trying to land softly. He was somewhat successful, if   
  
not graceful. Unit-00 slammed back into the earth, rolling with the   
  
impact before grinding to a halt, now almost a kilometer from the enemy   
  
Eva.  
  
The MP Eva wasted no time, jumping into the air. As a flash of   
  
lightning highlighted its form, Kaoru could see its black wings spread   
  
at the apex of its jump, and its arms go to liquid, becoming ribbon-  
  
cutters once again.  
  
He had time to dodge this time, but only just barely. Unit-00 rolled   
  
out of the way just in time. The MP Eva crashed back down where the   
  
blue Eva had been just moments before, its ribbon-cutters digging deep   
  
into the ground. Had Kaoru not moved, they would have surely cloven   
  
him in half.  
  
A twitch from Unit-00's muscular arms got the Eva back on its feet. As   
  
he moved the Eva through this motion, Kaoru felt a slight tingling, a   
  
sensation of another entity at the edge of his consciousness. Chancing   
  
a look, he focused briefly on Unit-00's energy flows and saw that,   
  
indeed, its S2 output was being divided, approximately half of its   
  
energy going to another unit. Kaoru did not have time to make sure,   
  
but the feel of it was similar to Unit-04. A brief surge of hope   
  
rushed into him; it was possible that Shinji had survived that assault.   
  
It was even possible that, despite appearances, Unit-04 was not yet   
  
down for the count. He hoped so; as it stood, he did not like his   
  
chances.  
  
"You disappoint me, Tabris," came the deep voice over his radio again.   
  
The MP Eva spread its arms wide, almost invitingly. "I would have   
  
expected more from the last of us. The one to come closest to finding   
  
Father."  
  
Kaoru shook his head, quietly thankful that the clashing AT fields were   
  
stopping all radio transmission past line-of-sight. It wouldn't do for   
  
the others to be hearing this conversation, right now.  
  
"I did not find Adam," Kaoru replied quietly, starting towards the MP   
  
Eva. "The Lilum tricked me...tricked us. Even though we were   
  
physically stronger, it was not by their strength that the Lilum were   
  
the ones to start the Unification."  
  
The response to this was a quiet laugh. "An odd way to beg for your   
  
life, Tabris. You would tell _me_ that might is of little   
  
consequence?" As if to punctuate this, the MP Eva took several steps   
  
forwards, its heavy footsteps causing tremors Kaoru could feel in his   
  
bones, even at this distance.  
  
Unit-00 clenched its fists tightly. "Just think, Zeruel. The ones who   
  
came after you...Arael, Armisael, and myself...none of us were so   
  
brazen in our assaults as you. We did not rely on our strength, yet we   
  
came so much closer."  
  
"Life among the Lilum has corrupted you, Tabris. You should know that   
  
strength is our way of life. Had I not encountered such a capable   
  
warrior...I would have been the one to succeed." The MP Eva paused,   
  
grinning its toothy grin at him. "And now, even that warrior has   
  
fallen to my might. Such a pity...I would have expected more of a   
  
battle from one of that caliber. But no. He was, in the end, just a   
  
boy. A little, helpless, _boy_."  
  
Kaoru's eyes widened, not with surprise, but with restrained anger.   
  
"You have no right," he countered, his voice steely. "You cannot speak   
  
of Shinji that way." He closed his eyes momentarily. "He may not be a   
  
warrior in the way that you are, Zeruel...but Shinji's strength is far   
  
greater than yours ever will be. No matter what you do to yourself.   
  
No matter how many Lances you absorb into yourself."  
  
A chuckle. "That weapon was quite powerful, was it not, Tabris? Even   
  
in our first encounter, it nearly destroyed these toys you are using.   
  
Now, integrated into me, it has made me stronger than ever," the MP Eva   
  
said, flexing one arm. "Say what you will about your compatriot,   
  
Tabris. He has already fallen."  
  
Unit-00 was in motion by the time the voice had finished speaking.   
  
Unable to tolerate what it was saying any longer, Kaoru charged the MP   
  
Eva, swinging back Unit-00's fist.  
  
Again, the MP Eva made no effort to dodge the blow. This alone should   
  
have warned Kaoru, but he did not care. He knew that this was what it   
  
came down to. If he could not damage this thing...if he could not   
  
penetrate its AT field...then they were all doomed.  
  
Unit-00's fist connected solidly with the thing's chest. Once again,   
  
the MP Eva did not so much as sway from the impact. For Kaoru, it was   
  
as though he'd punched a solid, unyielding wall. Unit-00's fist broke   
  
under the force of its own punch. Slamming his eyes shut in the sudden   
  
burning pain, Kaoru made his move. The Eva was distracted, thinking   
  
that he'd simply been trying to attack it again. But at this range,   
  
the intricacies of its AT field would be visible. Kaoru reached out   
  
his senses, finding this barrier, the outline of his opponent's AT   
  
field, and the source of its strength. He felt for any seams, any weak   
  
spots to exploit, tear apart with his own field...  
  
...and found none.   
  
The MP Eva, grinning as it sensed what he was doing, counterattacked.   
  
Its fist halfway converted to a ribbon-cutter, it punched Unit-00 in   
  
the gut. Kaoru ducked reflexively, his synch with Unit-00 failing as   
  
something violated his sanctum. For a moment, he found himself sitting   
  
in the entry plug. Looking up in the cold LCL, he saw his own   
  
reflection looking back at him, in the metallic surface of the MP Eva's   
  
own ribbon-cutter, sitting not more than a hand's breadth away from his   
  
head.  
  
Unit-00 fell again, toppled by the force of the blow. The ribbon-  
  
cutter was pulled free in one quick motion, letting LCL spurt from the   
  
entry plug like blood. Kaoru's head emerged from the surface of the   
  
orange liquid as the entry plug drained. Suddenly cold from the   
  
exposure to air and the rain coming in through the rent in the plug,   
  
Kaoru closed his eyes and tried to block it out.  
  
Using his particular talent as an Eva pilot, he did what no human could   
  
have done in that situation: re-synched with the Eva. Once again, he   
  
was seeing through Unit-00's eye, and felt the burning pain from his   
  
gut where the last blow had been landed. There was a warm trickling   
  
falling over his stomach, and he looked down to see the LCL draining   
  
out.  
  
Unit-00 kept moving, slowly and stiffly getting up into a sitting   
  
position. Its ruined fist served as nothing more than a stump,   
  
something to balance against. Its good hand was covering the wound in   
  
its stomach, trying to stem the flow of fluid, as well as protect the   
  
pilot.  
  
The MP Eva was upon it. A vicious kick connected with the sitting   
  
Eva's chin, forcing his head back so hard its neck cracked. Kaoru's   
  
body went numb suddenly as the nerves were cut. As Unit-00 skid   
  
backwards along the muddy ground, he felt the armor plate come away   
  
from Unit-00's chin, ruined by the force of the blow.  
  
The MP Eva stood over its fallen adversary, towering and horrible in   
  
the glare from lightning bolts. It lifted up one foot and placed it on   
  
Unit-00's torso, leaning heavily on that foot, slowly crushing Unit-00   
  
under its mass.  
  
Kaoru suddenly felt very claustrophobic, as though the figurative walls   
  
were closing in. He realized what it was a moment later: the entry   
  
plug itself was collapsing under the sheer weight being forced down on   
  
it. In a moment, his body was going to be crushed.  
  
Unit-00 grabbed at the ankle, trying to lever it off. He might as well   
  
have tried to move a mountain, for all he did. Unit-00 simply did not   
  
have the strength left in its one good arm to move the demon that   
  
stood atop it.  
  
Kaoru watched, frozen, as the MP Eva's arm went liquid again, slowly   
  
shifting over to a ribbon. It lifted up the razor-sharp weapon, aimed   
  
down at Unit-00.  
  
"Take heart in the knowledge that you went down fighting, Tabris," came   
  
the sadistic message in his ears. "For that, I shall grant you a   
  
warrior's death."  
  
Then the arm descended, and Kaoru felt something he'd only experienced   
  
once before.  
  
***  
  
Inside Unit-04's cockpit, nothing lived.  
  
The entry plug was smashed, its sides buckled by the tremendous impact   
  
with the ground. Its delicate electronics were broken, its power feeds   
  
cut. As for its pilot...  
  
The LCL had absorbed most of the impact with the ground, but the raw   
  
inertia of the Eva had simply been too much for Shinji's frail body.   
  
He was slowly going cold.  
  
Had anyone been there to watch, they would have seen something happen   
  
in this lifeless, dark place. Coming through the wall like a ghost,   
  
Rei Ayanami appeared. Her skin glowed faintly, casting a pale light   
  
onto the destroyed entry plug, and Shinji's still form, floating in the   
  
LCL.  
  
Floating in the tight confines of the entry plug with its other   
  
occupant, she looked down at Shinji's broken body. Her face betrayed   
  
nothing. Slowly, she floated towards Shinji's body, reaching out an   
  
ethereal hand towards him.  
  
Effortlessly, her hand passed into his chest. Rei closed her eyes,   
  
concentrating briefly. Her eyes suddenly snapped open again when   
  
Shinji took a breath.  
  
She floated away from him, closing her eyes again as she began to pass   
  
through the wall of the plug. Shinji opened his own eyes just in time   
  
to glimpse Rei's ethereal face and see...  
  
...a smile.  
  
***  
  
Shinji came around groggily, groaning in pain.  
  
His head felt like it was trying to implode. Putting one hand on his   
  
forehead, he tried to wake up. He opened his eyes, seeing first a flash of light, followed too soon by total darkness.  
  
"Wh...where am I?" he felt around, finding the solid walls of the entry   
  
plug around him. "What's going on?"  
  
Slowly, he began to recall what had happened just moments ago.   
  
Attacking...only to find that it was utterly useless. Pain...   
  
transmitted directly to him through the Eva...his vision going red from   
  
the agony of it all. He must have passed out.  
  
Yet he did not have time for the trauma of it all to hit him, as at   
  
that moment, Unit-04 began to come alive.  
  
Screens lit up, throwing a harsh light on him. Squinting, Shinji   
  
looked around.  
  
The entry plug looked heavily damaged. Crushed, actually. But even as   
  
Shinji watched, it repaired itself. Metal walls un-buckled, circuits   
  
reconnected, and shattered screens spontaneously came back together.   
  
Next to him, there was a loud 'beep' as the timer came back online,   
  
showing a solid 99:99:99.  
  
A screen materialized next to him, reading in large red text: AUTO-  
  
REPAIR INITIALIZED. STATUS: 40%.  
  
The plug was suddenly haunted by sounds coming from all directions.   
  
The groan of metal, along with the crack of bones and flesh, mixed   
  
together. The plug shifted, as Unit-04 began to put itself back   
  
together. Thrown off-balance, Shinji re-seated himself and gripped the   
  
controls in front of him.  
  
Shinji took in a sharp breath as Unit-04 suddenly re-synched with him,   
  
its mind ramming into his like a steel nail through the skull. Through   
  
the sudden pain, he saw the walls shift colors, switching back to the   
  
full view of the world outside.  
  
His head hurt. Or rather, Unit-04's head hurt. Shinji blinked,   
  
turning his head a bit, getting a crick out of his neck. His eyes   
  
seemed to be working, even that mechanical one the Americans had   
  
installed. Now, all that was left was...  
  
A window opened in front of him, giving him a radar view of the field.   
  
There was a single blue dot representing him, and about a kilometer   
  
away there was another blue dot, and a large red one, signaling the   
  
enemy. Kaoru, he realized, was fighting alone.  
  
"Kaoru-kun..." he said, slowly. "I'm coming."  
  
There was no response to this. Shinji wasn't even sure whether or not   
  
the radio had even picked up on his muttered words of support. He   
  
didn't care, though. He had to get moving. Shinji took a breath, and   
  
tightened his grip on the control sticks. "All right now...just   
  
move..."  
  
Unit-04 responded. Slowly, it sat up, got its legs under it, and stood   
  
again. Shinji became aware of water running over his body; the rain   
  
had picked up again. He looked down.  
  
"Ouch..." was all he could say. In the ground, there was a perfect   
  
imprint of Unit-04, limbs splayed out, now filling with water from the   
  
rain. It was going to make a very interesting lake, once this was   
  
over.  
  
Shinji kicked Unit-04 into motion, guiding it over the terrain, towards   
  
where Unit-00 and the target were appearing on radar. He tried not to   
  
look as the battery indicator beeped, counting down as the external   
  
power supply from Unit-00 was suddenly cut off. As Unit-04 crested a   
  
small hill, he found them.  
  
He'd hoped to arrive in time to support Kaoru; working together they   
  
could take this thing down. Shinji had made himself believe that. But   
  
Unit-00 was through fighting, it seemed. Even from where Shinji stood,   
  
he could tell the blue Eva was heavily damaged, stripped of any glory   
  
it might have once posessed. Its entire torso was caved in, the armor   
  
cracked severely around the imprint of a gigantic foot. It had a slash   
  
across its midsection, which spurted LCL, not unlike blood. Its head   
  
armor had been damaged as well; the lower portion had been forcibly   
  
ripped away, leaving Unit-00's recently grown mouth gaping open, jagged   
  
teeth glinting in the glare of lightning.  
  
But what got Shinji's attention was that Unit-00's head was no longer   
  
attached to its body. It lay a ways off, its ragged jaw gaping   
  
mindlessly, its single, lifeless red eye staring blankly into the   
  
stormclouds.  
  
Amid the carnage stood the MP Eva. Even as realization of Kaoru's   
  
likely fate dawned on Shinji, the monster Eva was turning to face him,   
  
the ground itself quaking under its footsteps.  
  
^You...^ a voice rasped directly in Shinji's brain. He covered his   
  
ears, wincing in the pain and violation of it.  
  
^I admire your resilience, boy. But you are not worthy of my time.   
  
Leave me.^  
  
Shinji opened his eyes, looking at the enemy Eva. It was just standing   
  
there, looking at him intently with its eyeless, oblong head. The   
  
skull-like growth on its chest was motionless, but Shinji could not   
  
shake the feeling that those black eye sockets were also looking at   
  
him. One of the Eva's arms was still the long, muscular limb it   
  
normally was. The other one, at some point, had become a ribbon, and   
  
whipped quietly next to the Eva, moving apparently of its own volition.  
  
As Unit-04 regarded its target, something triggered. Shinji felt   
  
something, like a memory coming to the surface. But he knew it was not   
  
one of his own memories. That other presence that always accompanied   
  
him when he was synched, the feel of the Eva's own consciousness, was   
  
what remembered.  
  
The right shoulder pauldron of Unit-04 snapped open, and the   
  
Progressive Knife deployed. Shinji stared at the weapon, hanging there   
  
in its sheath in the rain. He had given no command to open that   
  
shoulder pauldron. Was the Eva moving on its own?  
  
Even as he thought this, the Eva's right arm began to move, again with   
  
no input from Shinji. It slowly reached up, fingers grasping at the   
  
knife.  
  
Shinji reflexively took control, fighting to keep the arm down, keep   
  
the Eva from trying to engage the demon in front of it. But Unit-04   
  
resisted him. Even as Shinji pushed with all his might against it,   
  
Unit-04's arm kept moving, reaching for the knife, grasping it, pulling   
  
it free of the sheath. The shoulder pauldron closed, and Unit-04 stood   
  
resolute, knife steaming as rain hissed off of its heated surface.  
  
The MP Eva cocked its head to one side, regarding him curiously. ^You   
  
would use such an inferior weapon against my might?^ Following this   
  
was a hollow, inhuman laugh, short but chilling. ^Very well, boy. I   
  
shall grant you the same honor I gave Tabris.^  
  
Before Shinji could react, the MP Eva's arm shot up, the ribbon   
  
flashing out across the distance between them, aimed directly at his   
  
neck. Shinji slammed his eyes shut, even as he felt Unit-04 move,   
  
aligning the knife directly in the path of the oncoming ribbon-cutter.  
  
Death, it seemed, was loud. A horrible screeching of metal on metal   
  
filled Shinji's ears, drowning out all else, even as he felt Unit-04's   
  
arms tense, fighting an almost insurmountable force.   
  
But then, it ended. After a moment of utter silence, in which Shinji   
  
wondered if he'd gone deaf, he opened his eyes. A heartbeat later, he   
  
blinked, opening his eyes wider, trying to believe what he saw.  
  
Unit-04's Progressive Knife was nearly destroyed, its blade cut down to   
  
a hair's thickness where it had been struck. But it had, by some   
  
miracle, held. The ribbon-cutter had struck its superheated blade   
  
full-on, but instead of the knife, it had been the ribbon that failed.   
  
It had been sliced neatly down the middle, its perfect surface ruined   
  
by the blow. Friction had superheated the already hot knife, to the   
  
point that Shinji could feel it branding Unit-04's hands. Twisting   
  
helplessly in the air on either side of Unit-04 were the halves of the   
  
blocked ribbon cutter.  
  
Then, the MP Eva realized what had happened.  
  
It opened its enormous mouth, and again, Shinji was deafened by a   
  
horrible screeching, this one coming from the MP Eva itself. Shinji   
  
slammed his hands over his ears, Unit-04 doing likewise, dropping its   
  
knife in the process. Already nearly cut through by the ribbon, the   
  
knife snapped in half the moment it struck the ground.  
  
Wincing, Shinji opened his eyes, seeing screens popping up by the   
  
dozen. Alert windows appeared all around him, giving status on the Eva   
  
and its target, warning him that the battery only had three minutes   
  
worth of activation time remaining, that his AT field was negated, that   
  
the ambient temperature was dropping...  
  
Shinji took a closer look at that last window. It read that the air   
  
temperature around the Evas, previously an even twenty degrees   
  
Centigrade, was steadily decreasing. Shinji looked to the MP Eva, his   
  
hand flying over the keypad for Unit-04's cybernetic eye.   
  
The MP Eva had retracted its ruined arm, which now hung limply, still   
  
in ribbon form, at its side. The Eva itself, was standing, muscles   
  
tensed, jaw clenched, growling. What got Shinji's attention was its   
  
appearance in the infra-red spectrum. Its body was practically glowing   
  
with heat, even though the air temperature around it was steadily   
  
dropping. It was almost as though the MP Eva was drawing the energy   
  
right out of the air...  
  
The radio crackled, and Shinji's ears were assaulted by a half-dozen   
  
voices at once.  
  
"Shinji! What's going on out there!" Asuka was shouting.  
  
"Shinji, run! Something big's coming!" Misato's voice said,   
  
simultaneously.  
  
Unit-04 took a few hesitant steps backwards, easing away from its   
  
opponent even as the rain began to turn to hail. Shinji's eyes went   
  
wide as the MP Eva finally threw its arms apart, spreading its wings at   
  
the same time. On those jet-black wings, a pair of eyes opened,   
  
disturbingly human in their appearance. The eyes flickered briefly, as   
  
did the skull on its chest.  
  
"SHINJI!" Asuka's voice screamed.  
  
Not that it was possible with most of the satellites destroyed, but had   
  
anyone been watching from geosynchronous orbit, even they would have   
  
seen the sudden flash in the middle of Japan, bright enough that it   
  
completely blocked out the shockwave that rippled over the shattered   
  
land. Such an observer might absently wonder if a large-scale nuclear   
  
explosive had been set off.  
  
Shinji, however, did not have to wonder. He didn't have the time to do   
  
anything but brace for the impact, and pray for a miracle.  
  
***  
  
The MP Eva stood victorious and alone, amid a field of destruction.  
  
The rain had stopped, the clouds themselves obliterated by the intense   
  
energy. The ground had been hollowed out, blasted into a crater   
  
kilometers across. The Eva moved slowly, feet crunching on soil that   
  
had been baked into glass. It showed no fear, simply a slight fatigue   
  
at its recent exertion. Though it was difficult to read emotion off   
  
such an inhuman visage, it looked satisfied.  
  
Unit-00 was almost indistinguishable from the rest of the terrain, now.   
  
Its blue armor had been scorched black, melting into slag. It was now   
  
little more than a vaguely humanoid lump on the ground. Unit-04 was   
  
nowhere to be seen; where it had been standing moments before, there   
  
was nothing. Victory, the MP Eva concluded.  
  
But then, it froze, sensing something. Slowly, the giant turned, the   
  
only sounds the crunch of its own footsteps and the slight wind gusting   
  
across the lip of the blast crater. Its gaze fell back to where Unit-  
  
04 had been standing.  
  
At this very point, the air seemed to warp, distort as though being   
  
seen through a bad lens. It tore, coming apart like a curtain, as   
  
Unit-04 stepped through, materializing once again in the physical   
  
plane. It landed with a loud crash on the glass floor of the crater,   
  
staggered for a moment, then caught itself and looked at its opponent.  
  
Sitting at the controls, Shinji was a little disoriented. He'd seen   
  
the attack coming. Every nerve in his body had been screaming at him   
  
to _run_, get out of there, escape the tremendous blast that was   
  
coming. But something within him had known that even in Unit-04 he   
  
would not have been able to move that fast. Right as the MP Eva had   
  
fired, his eyes had gone to one wall of the entry plug, to the button   
  
that had been marked DO NOT PUSH. He'd disregarded the warning this   
  
time, knowing that even if he ended up like Kensuke had, it would have   
  
been better than sitting here and letting this monster annihilate him.  
  
The feeling of suddenly teleporting had been jarring, as though he'd   
  
stuck his finger in a wall socket. His skin burned, and his stomach   
  
was churning so violently he was sure he was going to be sick. But,   
  
surveying the distruction around him, Shinji felt that he'd taken the   
  
better choice. He saw Unit-00, and suddenly he _was_ sick, his stomach   
  
expelling out its contents into the LCL.  
  
"Kaoru..." he mumbled to himself. "I'm...I'm sorry."  
  
In front of him, the MP Eva opened its demonic jaws and roared its   
  
frustration at him, its skull starting to glow with the beginnings of   
  
another shot. Seeing this, Shinji's first instinct, which he'd been   
  
repressing since the beginning of this battle, finally took over. He   
  
turned Unit-04 around and ran away, as fast as the Eva could go.  
  
Hearing the MP Eva fire behind him, he turned Unit-04, just in time to   
  
avoid a cross-flare blasting out of the ground where he would have   
  
been. He crested the edge of the crater and kept running.  
  
^COWARD!^ the other voice in his head was shouting at him. ^Come back   
  
here and fight like a true warrior!^ Shinji ignored it, concentrating   
  
on dodging as the MP Eva continued firing. The ground erupted all   
  
around him, one cross-flare after another ripping through the earth,   
  
threatening to blast him apart.  
  
Shinji's radio crackled. "Shinji?!" came Misato's surprised voice.   
  
"You're still alive?"  
  
"Yes!" he shouted back, dodging another shot. "I don't know how,   
  
Misato-san! I think I've used up my luck!" He paused, realizing   
  
something. If the radio was working, then...  
  
"Misato-san!" he asked, quickly. "Are the AT fields down?"  
  
There was a pause of a few seconds, during which Unit-04 was clipped by   
  
another blast, and went tumbling to the ground. It was back on its   
  
feet in a heartbeat, and running again. Looking over his shoulder,   
  
Shinji could see the MP Eva had taken to the air, its massive wings   
  
standing out against the now-cloudless afternoon sky. It was   
  
continuing to fire even as it flew.  
  
"Yes, Shinji!" Misato finally answered him. "I don't know how,   
  
but...but you did it, Shinji! It's field is down!"  
  
"Then - "  
  
"They're on their way, Shinji! Jets are on their way, just hold on for   
  
one minute."  
  
Shinji glanced to the timer on the wall. It currently read 1:58:03.   
  
"One minute's about all I have, Misato-san!" he shouted. "Tell them to   
  
hurry up!" Another blast shook the earth. "Another thing! Does this   
  
thing EVER RUN OUT OF AMMO?"  
  
^No, I do not.^  
  
Shinji looked over his shoulder again just in time to see the grinning   
  
face of the MP Eva as it slammed into him in a powerful dive. Both   
  
machines were driven into the ground, digging a rut that could have   
  
swallowed a skyscraper. Unit-04's arms were pinned to its sides by the   
  
more powerful MP Eva, which was using the remains of its ruined arm   
  
almost as effectively as its undamaged arm. The monster Eva got to its   
  
feet, pulling Unit-04 up along with it, still crushed into a tight grip   
  
that Shinji could not break.  
  
Before Shinji could say anything, the MP Eva had spread its wings and   
  
lifted off, taking them both into the sky. Shinji watched the ground   
  
shrink away underneath him.  
  
^You will not escape me, boy,^ the voice said in his head. ^You have   
  
proven yourself to be a skillful warrior. Now we just have to get away   
  
from these pests that would interfere with our battle. I must see   
  
which of us is the stronger.^  
  
Unit-04 struggled in the monster's grip, but was barely able to move   
  
under the herculean strength.  
  
^Rethink that strategy, boy,^ the voice told him firmly, almost   
  
chiding. ^Without your barrier of the soul, would you survive the   
  
fall?^ At this, its wings swept back severely, and their airspeed   
  
began to increase. Underneath them, the ground became a rust-colored   
  
blur, as Unit-04 finally gave up struggling, waiting for the demon-mech   
  
to take them to where it wanted to fight.  
  
***  
  
Going more than twice the speed of sound, Lucifer Squadron should have   
  
made it to firing range in less than two minutes. The HEAD missiles   
  
hanging off the wings of each F-15 could be safely fired well before   
  
the jets entered the estimated range of the target's energy blasts; the   
  
pilots liked it that way. With a flight of 14 jets, each carrying a   
  
pair of missiles, it was expected that Lucifer squadron would be able   
  
to take down the enemy with a single salvo, once its AT field was down,   
  
of course.  
  
All the Evas had really had to do was keep the target relatively   
  
stationary for those critical two minutes it would take for the jets to   
  
get into range. Unfortunately, it looked like they hadn't even been   
  
able to do that.  
  
"Sir," the captain of Lucifer squadron said into his radio. "We've got   
  
the target moving away, estimated speed in excess of Mach 7. We can't   
  
keep up with it, sir."  
  
There was a pause on the other end, followed by a strained response   
  
from Colonel Lewis. The captain wondered what was going on at the HQ,   
  
but knew it was none of his business, and even if it was, it wasn't   
  
like he could do anything about it.  
  
"Slow to cruising speed, captain," Lewis ordered. "No use wasting fuel   
  
on this. Assume holding position, while we figure out what to do."  
  
"Roger that."  
  
The captain relayed orders to his flight. The other men were   
  
disappointed at this new development; after all, this had been their   
  
chance to shine. But it couldn't be helped.  
  
If what his co-pilot had told him was true, according to the radar this   
  
thing was moving away from them so fast it was like they were standing   
  
still. He shook his head, disbeliving. It just wasn't _possible_ for   
  
something so big to move so fast...  
  
He felt a thump, a sudden shift in the weight of the jet. The   
  
captain's trained eyes flew over the indicators, checking to make sure   
  
none of the warning lights had gone off. Everything looked normal...at   
  
least until he looked up.  
  
"What in the..."  
  
Outside the plane, hanging onto the cockpit glass itself, was a girl.   
  
Her clothes and her short blue hair whipped violently in the wind, but   
  
she otherwise seemed unfazed by the fact that they were still moving   
  
faster than Mach 1. Despite all the years of combat training, of   
  
flying jets so long that it was second nature to him, the captain   
  
froze. For just a moment, he was held fast, petrified by those   
  
piercing, crimson eyes he had seen two years ago, just before his body   
  
had dissolved into goo.  
  
Something was happening. A glow was emanating from the girl, slowly   
  
moving over the rest of the plane. Behind the captain, his co-pilot   
  
looked up from the radar long enough to notice the girl.  
  
"What the f - "  
  
There was a flash. It was like looking at a nuclear blast, momentary   
  
and blinding.  
  
" - uck is that?"  
  
As the captain's eyes cleared from the sudden light, he looked at the   
  
cockpit glass again. There was nothing, now. The girl had vanished.  
  
He felt a slight queasiness in his stomach, something no amount of   
  
high-g maneuvering had ever been able to induce in him. He looked out   
  
his limited view window, trying to see if she'd fallen off.  
  
"Did you see that?" the co-pilot was shouting. "Did you see that?!"  
  
"Yes! Yes, I saw, what in the fuck's going on?!"  
  
"I don't know, I...sir?"  
  
The captain shook his head, clearing it, checking the controls again.   
  
"What?"  
  
"Uh...if the map's right, we've...changed position, sir."  
  
"What're you talking about?"  
  
"I don't know myself, sir. It's like we just..._moved_. If this map's   
  
right, we're currently about fifty miles off the west coast of Japan,   
  
headed east."  
  
The captain paused, thinking this over. Their bearing had been due   
  
west, just a moment ago.  
  
"HQ?" he asked into his radio. "Don't know what just happened, but   
  
I..." he stopped, hearing the roar of static in his ears. "Dammit."   
  
Changing frequencies, he checked in on the other jets. They were all   
  
still in formation, flying behind him. Over the radio, they confirmed   
  
that their maps all read the same thing his was, that they'd suddenly   
  
done a one-eighty and skipped over most of Japan without noticing.   
  
What really got the captain's attention were the questions he was   
  
getting, if he'd seen a girl hanging on his window. Each pilot he   
  
talked to had seen the same thing happen to himself.  
  
He cut the radio for a moment as he thought things out. Something   
  
clicked in his brain, and he called back to his copilot.  
  
"Hey, the target was west bound, right?" he asked.  
  
"Uh...yeah, sir. Why?"  
  
"Call it a hunch." He switched back on the radio, calling all the jets   
  
to get back up to maximum speed, continuing in their current heading,   
  
back towards the country they'd so inexplicably skipped over.  
  
***  
  
The MP Eva had apparently picked up on Unit-00's trick at some point;   
  
during the high-speed flight, Unit-04's batteries had actually   
  
recharged, going back up to maximum capacity. Apparently, the MP Eva   
  
wanted its opponent at full strength for this fight. Shinji took some   
  
consolation in knowing that no matter which way the fight went, it was   
  
likely that Unit-04 would not have time to run out of battery power.  
  
That said, the fight was not going well for Unit-04. Shinji groaned   
  
from within another Unit-04 shaped crater.  
  
Above him, the MP Eva circled like some kind of mutated vulture,   
  
flapping its wings gently to keep its enormous body aloft. It hadn't   
  
been so gentle a moment ago, when it had dropped him like a rock, into   
  
the lake of LCL that had come up below them. Shinji had managed to   
  
alter Unit-04's fall so it became an improvised dive instead of a   
  
bellyflop. He'd managed to survive the impact with the surface, but   
  
Unit-04's inertia had plowed it straight through the LCl and into the   
  
ocean floor. Even with the LCL to eat up some of the velocity, it had   
  
still been a jarring impact, enough to nearly throw Shinji from the   
  
entry plug seat.  
  
His head was still swimming when the ground shook again, as the MP Eva   
  
made its own landing on the shoreline.  
  
^Get up, boy,^ came the voice in his head. ^Now we are free of all   
  
interlopers, and we will do battle. Come at me.^  
  
Shinji groaned in pain, reaching for the control sticks in front of   
  
him. Before he could even touch them, Unit-04 began to move, again   
  
without any input from Shinji. It began to get up, LCL washing over   
  
its surface as it came back into view.  
  
"What are you doing?" he shouted at the Eva. He grabbed the controls,   
  
tried to wrestle them into obedience. He tried everything he could,   
  
reaching out, touching the Eva's mind, struggling to turn it away from   
  
its certain demise on the shore.   
  
"Don't you know this is suicide?" he pleaded. Then something happened   
  
that he hadn't expected. Unit-04 answered him.  
  
"A death in battle is an honorable one, Ikari-kun."  
  
Shinji blinked, hearing the voice. "Ayanami?" he asked. "Rei? Are   
  
you in here?"  
  
"Negative, Ikari-kun. The original contacted me, and asked me to   
  
protect you. Hers and the word of Tabris are reason enough to do   
  
this."  
  
Shinji shook his head, not wanting to think about just who or what it   
  
was he was speaking to. "But this isn't protecting me! We're just   
  
going to die!" He closed his eyes, covering his head with his hands.   
  
"I just want to go home..."  
  
"Would running really accomplish anything?" Rei's voice asked.   
  
Shinji's eyes opened again, at this.  
  
Unit-04 was back on its feet and walking, now. Shinji got a view of   
  
the MP Eva. It was waiting for him, wings slightly spread, shoulders   
  
hunched, fists clenched in an image of unstoppable power. He noticed   
  
that at some point its arm had healed.  
  
"Oh...god..." Shinji muttered. Unit-04 did not answer him this time.   
  
It fell silent, as though it had never spoken to him at all.  
  
^So,^ the monster Eva said, as Unit-04 finally emerged from the LCL.   
  
^You have finally chosen battle.^ It spread its arms before him,   
  
inviting him to charge straight into the fight. Its wings flared   
  
briefly, the eyes on their inner surfaces regarding him unblinkingly.  
  
Shinji did not take the challenge. He looked around, trying to get a   
  
feel for where they were. When he'd hit LCL he'd thought the Eva had   
  
carried him all the way to the coastline, but that was apparently   
  
wrong. They had instead stopped at an enormous lake. As he looked,   
  
Shinji could see the twisted remains of what might have been a city.   
  
What got his attention was that the few ruins still standing did not   
  
have the abandoned, shattered look of most buildings after Third   
  
Impact. Rather, they looked like their destruction had come earlier,   
  
and in the form of great heat and pressure. It was almost as though   
  
they'd been melted. As Shinji climbed out of the lake, he began to   
  
wonder what could have possibly done such a thing.  
  
A memory tried to surface, at this thought. He remembered   
  
something...a monster, shaped as a double-helix. There had been a   
  
battle...someone had been injured. And then, something had happened   
  
that he'd never expected in his life. Someone had given their life to   
  
save his...  
  
"I don't want to fight," Shinji said, evenly, as he fought off the   
  
memory. "I just want to make this a place where people can live."  
  
^Useless, boy,^ the voice said. ^Your cause may be noble, but it means   
  
nothing to those who have no life.^ Its arm morphed into a ribbon-  
  
cutter. ^My existence is defined solely by battle. To deny me that is   
  
to deny me all. Now...^ it said, raising its arm. ^Come at me!^  
  
Shinji swallowed, looking at the certain death that stood resolute   
  
before him. He closed his eyes and took the first step towards it.  
  
It was then that he felt something whiz by his head, feeling not unlike   
  
a bee, grown to Eva proportions. Shinji opened his eyes just in time   
  
to see a smoke trail shooting past his head, flashing across the   
  
distance to the MP Eva in an eyeblink, and burying itself in its chest.  
  
Shinji had to look away, then, as the fireball that erupted from the   
  
impact was like a small sun. The MP Eva swayed backwards, staggered by   
  
the explosion. As the smoke cleared, Shinji could see a crater in its   
  
previously invincible hide.  
  
A warning indicator suddenly lit up, beeping insistently as Shinji   
  
glanced at it. There were incoming projectiles, coming from behind   
  
him...  
  
Shinji's reflex response was simple enough: duck. Unit-04 dove down,   
  
flattening itself against the hard soil. Above it, more than a dozen   
  
other smoke trails flashed by, through the space it had just recently   
  
occupied, and found their marks in the MP Eva.  
  
The ground shook under the force of so many explosions in so short a   
  
time. Shinji chanced a quick look, in time to see the MP Eva jerking   
  
wildly under the impacts, before it vanished under a pall of smoke.  
  
He felt the tremor from the MP Eva tumbling to the ground under the   
  
massive assault. Silence fell, just for a few moments. Then his radio   
  
crackled.  
  
"Shinji? Shinji, respond!"  
  
Still reeling a bit from what he'd just seen, it took him a moment to   
  
answer. "I...I'm here, Asuka." Slowly and carefully, he eased Unit-04   
  
back to its feet.  
  
"Thank god..." came the whispered reply. "Shinji, don't ask how, but   
  
the American jets just..._appeared_ right off the west coast of Japan.   
  
They're telling us they've got you in their sights."  
  
"Asuka, I don't know where I am," he half-lied. "By a lake,   
  
or...something." A blast crater, that was what this was. Made by...  
  
"Well, Misato and the others are all still trying to guess your   
  
location on the map. That big guy's faster than he looks."  
  
"You're telling m - " Shinji cut off as he saw a group of dark forms   
  
streak overhead, followed closely thereafter by the tremor of a sonic   
  
boom.  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
"Don't worry, it's just the jets. They just did a fly-by."  
  
"Probably making sure they killed that thing. What's your take,   
  
Shinji?"  
  
"I can't see anything, Asuka," Shinji replied. "Those missiles make a   
  
lot of smoke."  
  
"Hey, if it wasn't loud and flashy the Americans wouldn't be using   
  
it," Asuka joked.  
  
"Right," Shinji replied, smiling a little. He got Unit-04 to its feet.   
  
The Eva responded perfectly fine to him, this time, showing none of the   
  
rebelliousness it had earlier. "I'm going to go have a loo..."  
  
He trailed off as he saw a flash from within the dust cloud, a brief   
  
flicker of intense light. There was a heart-stopping moment, just long   
  
enough for Shinji to think that perhaps he'd just imagined it. But   
  
then, the earth rumbled.  
  
In the distance, the American jets had broken formation and were   
  
swinging around for another pass. Even at the speed they were moving   
  
at, though, there was no way they could have dodged the shot. It was   
  
simply too sudden. Fully half of the jets simply vanished, as the   
  
earth erupted, spitting forth a pillar of white-hot fire that reached   
  
up, consuming them, and splitting into the shape of a cross.  
  
Another flash, and still more jets were consumed. The remaining   
  
planes, already down to so few Shinji could count them on one hand, had   
  
split up, taking evasive action. Even as they did this, more cross-  
  
flares erupted around them, forcing them to maneuver wildly to avoid   
  
burning up instantly.  
  
Shinji's radio came alive with chatter, most of it in English, going so   
  
fast that he couldn't follow. He could guess at what was going on,   
  
though. Most of the jets retreated, gaining altitude and veering off   
  
into the distance. One, however, did not. It suddenly dove, pulling   
  
up at the last possible second so as to skim along the ground. Its   
  
engines flared, leaving a fire trail behind it as it roared up to its   
  
maximum speed, aimed directly at the cloud from which the shots were   
  
coming.  
  
Shinji saw what the pilot intended, and started yelling into his own   
  
radio, asking...no, begging, the man to stop, turn away, run while he   
  
still had his life. His voice was lost among the others, though,   
  
obscured by Lewis' shouting and Misato's own warnings.  
  
The jet began to pull up, putting some slight distance between it and   
  
the ground, before it finally loosed the one remaining missile it had   
  
under its wing. The fire trail of the projectile streaked towards the   
  
cloud, spanning the distance before Shinji could even blink.  
  
It was then that the MP Eva reappeared. Emerging from the cloud like a   
  
demon straight from hell, it simply held out its hand, catching the   
  
missile in its rocklike palm. The missile detonated, sending shivers   
  
through the MP Eva's body and rocking Unit-04 with the explosion.   
  
Seemingly unaware of the injury it had just suffered, the MP Eva lashed   
  
out with the same arm, turning it to a ribbon almost instantly, aiming   
  
it at the jet that had dared fire upon it.  
  
The jet was neatly sliced in half. As the ribbon retracted, the halves   
  
of the ruined fighter came apart, spinning out of control as the engine   
  
continued to burn for a few seconds before finally giving out. The   
  
debris smashed into the ground at nearly Mach 2, leaving a pair of   
  
sizeable craters. There were no ejection chutes.  
  
The MP Eva turned to face Shinji, now. If it had been a frightening   
  
opponent before, it was horrifying now. Its head was nearly destroyed,   
  
only a part of the lower jaw remaining, sharp teeth hanging by threads   
  
over its pockmarked body. Its torso was full of holes, oozing thick   
  
red Eva blood as it walked. Its limbs were misshapen, warped by the   
  
heat and the impact of the explosions. But the skull-like growth on   
  
its chest still stood proud, the eye holes now burning with an inner   
  
fire. The abomination that had once been an Eva stepped towards him.  
  
^So...^ came the voice in Shinji's mind again. ^You...you would not   
  
have us do fair battle.^  
  
"Wh...wh..." Shinji stuttered. He shook his head, getting a grip on   
  
himself. "What _are_ you?!" he shouted at it.  
  
^What am I?^ the voice asked, almost mocking. The MP Eva spread its   
  
deformed arms, melting them into ribbons as it did so. The razor-edged   
  
weapons whipped sinuously in the air, like metallic snakes. ^I am the   
  
epitome of the warrior, boy. I will not admit defeat until my body is   
  
utterly destroyed.^ It began walking towards him, unsteady but   
  
resolute. ^Take away my legs, and I will crawl. Take away my arms,   
  
and I will bite.^ The gory remains of its lips actually curled at   
  
this, in a smile that dripped blood around ruined teeth. ^I do not   
  
surrender. I do not turn away from battle, not until I have taken my   
  
last breath.^   
  
Shinji blinked. "You...you _did_ run. I remember. Last time - "  
  
^Was a mistake,^ the MP Eva interrupted. ^Yes, I retreated. Yes, I   
  
shamed myself. But I will recover my pride. That thing you ride   
  
within will fall to my might.^ A pause, here. ^I suppose it is   
  
fitting that you are the one to stand before me. You, the only one who   
  
has ever shown me true defeat.^  
  
Shinji blinked, then gasped as something triggered in his mind.   
  
Forcefully forgotten memories tore through all his mental defenses,   
  
coming to the fore once again. He remembered...  
  
A warrior, insurmountable. A red giant facing it bravely, but unable   
  
to scratch it. The warrior had defeated it in seconds, casting away   
  
its severed head. The head had nearly crushed Shinji. He remembered   
  
fear, seeing this. Not for the red machine, but for the one who had   
  
ridden within it, who felt its pain as though they were one being.  
  
A blue giant had charged it, then, in a suicide strike against its main   
  
core. But it had been useless; the giant had posessed a final defense   
  
even the blue giant's bomb had been unable to penetrate. A flash of   
  
ribbons, and the giant had fallen.  
  
And then, it had been his turn...  
  
"You..." he muttered. He looked back to the MP Eva, standing before   
  
him, still waiting for him to charge. "It's you. H...how is that even   
  
possible?"  
  
^A question no one has been able to resolve, little one. I myself do   
  
not care for the technicalities of it all. All I know is that I once   
  
again stand here on the field of battle with you. Perhaps there is   
  
something to this concept of 'fate'.^  
  
Shinji shook his head violently, the realization of who his opponent   
  
really was rocking his consciousness. "But..." he began, hesitantly.   
  
"But why? You get a second chance...you get to live again. Why are   
  
you throwing away your life by fighting?"  
  
^I have answered that question. Battle is my life. Only in the clash   
  
of war can I find definition.^  
  
"How can you say that?" Shinji asked. "We...everyone's getting a   
  
second chance. We can try again at life, and we're trying to make the   
  
world a place to live again. You...you're just repeating the same   
  
mistake!"  
  
^Mistake? I think not. This is our way.^  
  
"Why?" Shinji asked. "Why do you fight? I don't want to be here. I   
  
hate sitting in this _thing_. I just want to go home."  
  
^So then, why are you here?^  
  
"Because..." Shinji paused. "There are people depending on me. They   
  
need me, to protect them, to protect our home." He took a breath. "I   
  
don't want to die out here, in this...but if I do, it's all right.   
  
I'll have been protecting the people I love, and the home I've made."  
  
Another memory tried to surface. One connected to the ground they now   
  
stood upon. He remembered someone else had made that decision, to die   
  
for the sake of someone else. For the sake of him...  
  
"You don't have a home to protect!" Shinji shouted, both out of anger   
  
and to shut up the unwanted recollection. "You're just making war, for   
  
no reason at all!"  
  
^War is reason enough, boy,^ came the icy response. ^It seems you   
  
cannot understand. Not all of us can go the way of the Fifteenth.^  
  
"What?" Shinji asked, not quite grasping what he'd just been told.  
  
There was no verbal response, this time. It seemed the MP Eva was   
  
tired of talking. The lights within the skull's eyes began to grow   
  
brighter, approaching sun-like intensity. Shinji, backing away, held   
  
Unit-04's arms defensively over its face, knowing that it was useless   
  
but knowing also that he was out of time, and out of places to run.  
  
***  
  
Rei simply appeared from nowhere, seeming to step right out of the air   
  
itself. She alighted, head down, hands clasped in front of her. Her   
  
eyes were closed, her face peaceful, as though in deep thought.  
  
Approximately half a kilometer away, Unit-04 was watching as the MP Eva   
  
built up for a another devastating blow. By now, its batteries were   
  
likely taxed to their limit; even if the shot did not utterly destroy   
  
the Eva, it could not keep fighting for much longer.   
  
Aside from that, the fighting might well turn out to be moot, soon. In   
  
her mind, Rei could feel something happening. Off the coast of Japan,   
  
some elaborate machine was being activated. It was not quite so   
  
surgical or precise as the jets the Americans had sent, but it was   
  
tremendously powerful. Indeed, Rei could in fact feel a glimmer of a   
  
power within it that previously had only been found in Evangelions.  
  
And now, this powerful thing, something that would turn this entire   
  
area to dust and ashes, was coming. She did not have much time.  
  
Rei opened her eyes, still looking down at her feet. The ground lay a   
  
few hundred meters away from her. Under her lay the undulating surface   
  
of the lake of LCL, the one that had broken Unit-04's fall earlier.   
  
She stood upon this surface, unmoving, unaffected by the gentle push of   
  
the tide. Slowly, she looked up. She said a single word.  
  
"Zeruel."  
  
Though she'd been so quiet that she'd barely even heard herself, the   
  
effect was immediate. The MP Eva froze, its body locking up. The glow   
  
that had been gathering in its skull died down, becoming no more than a   
  
dull glimmer. Slowly, the MP Eva turned, its shattered visage looking   
  
straight at her.  
  
"You do not need to fight him," Rei whispered. "He is not the enemy   
  
you seek."  
  
The skull twitched, jaw flexing in a hollow roar. The MP Eva's fists   
  
clenched, as it began to walk, not towards Unit-04 but towards Rei.  
  
Rei's eyes glazed momentarily, hearing something speak to her. She   
  
shook her head.  
  
"No," she said. "She is a facsimile. She is a pale copy of the   
  
original."  
  
The MP Eva was speeding up now, in a hobbling run. It dripped hot   
  
blood on the ground as it moved. Behind it, Unit-04 fell to its knees,   
  
not comprehending what was going on. Turning its head, the white Eva   
  
also spotted Rei.  
  
Rei tilted her head, hearing something else. "He is not the one you   
  
seek," she said. "Though he is the same boy, conditions   
  
are...different, from when last you saw him."  
  
The MP Eva approached her, now slogging through the thick LCL. Waves   
  
rippled under Rei's feet, lifting her up briefly, then lowering her   
  
back down. Rei looked down to her feet, again hearing something.  
  
"I wish to see him live," she answered the silent question. "As for my   
  
reasons...they are my own."  
  
The MP Eva loomed over her now, taller than a skyscraper, blocking out   
  
the sun with its bulk, casting Rei into shadow. It glared down at her   
  
with eyes of flame.  
  
"Your injuries may not be mortal, Zeruel," Rei whispered to it. Her   
  
eyes glanced to its arm, which was becoming liquid, slowly thinning,   
  
gaining a razor edge. "You do not need to continue this battle. Death   
  
is not the only option."  
  
The skull roared at her again. The freshly formed ribbon-cutter arced   
  
up into the air, drawing back for a blow that was aimed precisely at   
  
her neck.  
  
Rei closed her eyes. "If it will stop your rage," she said, again in   
  
answer to something only she could hear. The ribbon-cutter descended.  
  
Rei felt no impact, however. Instead, there was a low scream, coming   
  
from a distance, but growing louder, closing on her in an eyeblink.   
  
She opened her eyes, just in time to see Unit-04 slam into the enormous   
  
MP Eva in a flying tackle. The impact pushed both combatants down,   
  
slamming forcefully into the sea of LCL, deep enough at this distance   
  
that the MP Eva was swallowed entirely by the liquid. Its ribbon-  
  
cutter arm went wide, but only just barely enough. Rei felt a rush of   
  
air as the metal blade sliced the LCL next to her, then whipped back,   
  
retracting back to the MP Eva.  
  
"Ayanami!" Shinji's voice called out over Unit-04's loudspeaker. "Rei!   
  
What're you doing here!"  
  
"Ikari-kun..." Rei whispered. "Please...please leave."  
  
"What are you asking?" Shinji asked back. Underneath him, the MP Eva   
  
began to fight back, reshaping its cutter back into an arm. Both Evas   
  
were suddenly locked in a wrestling match, both clawing at each other,   
  
trying to get a grip with LCL-slicked fingers. The MP Eva definitely   
  
had the advantage of mass and strength, but it was also heavily   
  
damaged. Unit-04, on the other hand, was relatively unhurt. But Rei's   
  
trained eyes could see that already its arms were growing heavy,   
  
slowing as its batteries ran down.  
  
"You know I can't do that!" Shinji shouted, even as he continued to   
  
fight. "What're you trying to do? Do you want to die?"  
  
"If it will save you," Rei replied, immediately.  
  
Shinji, locked in the fight of his life, did not answer. The MP Eva's   
  
clawlike hands were locked around Unit-04's neck. But Unit-04's own   
  
hands were clamped onto the skull on the MP Eva's chest, pulling and   
  
twisting, trying to rip it off entirely. Flesh, sinew, and bone all   
  
began to tear apart as the Evas neared the end of their contest.  
  
"You...idiot..." Shinji managed to get out, the tightness in his voice   
  
showing he was definitely feeling the MP Eva's efforts to strangle   
  
Unit-04. "I can't...just let that happen..."  
  
Rei dared to step closer to the two struggling Evas. "Ikari-kun, you do not understand - "  
  
She was cut off as the MP Eva twisted in Shinji's grip, its skull   
  
looking at her. Rei heard one final statement in her mind.  
  
^It is _you_ who does not understand, Zero.^  
  
The MP Eva lashed out with one enormous arm, clipping Rei's body   
  
solidly with the edge of one hand.  
  
The impact alone would have been enough to kill a human being. That   
  
much mass, moving that quickly, should have torn her apart. As if that   
  
were not enough, the edge of the MP Eva's hand had been morphing into a   
  
razor, so she had been caught across the abdomen with an almost perfect   
  
cutting edge. Rei gasped in sudden pain as she felt her body nearly   
  
come apart. A warm fluid sprayed from her wound, filling the air with   
  
a fine mist as she flew backwards from the blow. Unable to control her   
  
fall, she followed a ballistic path towards the shore.  
  
^Battle is my life,^ the MP Eva said to her, as she fell.  
  
Rei hit the ground hard, bouncing from the hit and rolling several   
  
times in the dirt before finally grinding to a halt. She felt the warm   
  
fluid pouring out of her, pooling underneath her, staining the ground.  
  
^To deny me that...is to deny me all.^  
  
Unit-04 watched, unspeaking, as Rei was hit, as she fell, as she   
  
bounced to the ground like some kind of discarded toy. Slowly, it   
  
looked back to its opponent, currently on top of it, pinning it in the   
  
LCL with its superior weight. Though now only one hand was on Unit-  
  
04's neck, it was still enough to be choking the life from it. It was   
  
at this moment that the battery indicator in the entry plug went   
  
critical, emergency lights going on as Unit-04 passed the one-minute   
  
mark in remaining activation time.  
  
Unit-04 shifted its grip, putting one hand on the offending wrist, and   
  
the other gripping the MP Eva's skull "face". Finding a grip, it   
  
twisted, the skull writhing under its fingers before finally giving   
  
way, cracking and tearing away from the main body. The lights in its   
  
eye sockets flickered, then died.  
  
Unit-04 was not done. It rolled, flipping them both over so that the   
  
MP Eva was now on the bottom. Now in the superior position, Unit-04   
  
found its legs, getting its feet under it, as it dragged the larger Eva   
  
up.  
  
Unit-04 wrapped its arms around the MP Eva. With a sort of cold,   
  
inhuman determination, it began to squeeze. Every muscle in its body   
  
went tight, crushing the already motionless MP Eva in its grip. A low   
  
groaning sound could be heard, as the MP Eva's body began to give.   
  
Finally, with a sound like a thousand trees cracking all at once, the   
  
MP Eva's spine gave out, and it split, its upper torso hanging limply.  
  
Unit-04 dropped its enormous cargo into the LCL, with a tremendous   
  
splash. It looked down on the MP Eva with a cold, unfeeling gaze. Its   
  
fists clenched when it saw that, despite it all, the MP Eva was still   
  
trying to move, its limbs twitching and its "face" actually recovering,   
  
one eye socket beginning to glow again. Unit-04 reached down and   
  
grabbed the MP Eva by one wrist.  
  
From Unit-04's speakers came a scream, one born of fear, of   
  
frustration, and raw hatred. It carried on, as Unit-04 lifted the   
  
massive MP Eva completely out of the LCL, swinging it around to build   
  
momentum. It was such that it gave even the MP Eva pause, feeling the   
  
tingle of fear in its heart once again. Unit-04 released its opponent,   
  
sending it flying, wings trailing uselessly behind it as it arced   
  
through the air. LCL exploded into huge fans as the MP Eva struck the   
  
surface again, and sank.  
  
Shinji's scream died almost as soon as he'd released the MP Eva.   
  
Without bothering to see where it had landed, he turned Unit-04 around   
  
and started running for the land. Zooming in with the cybernetic eye,   
  
he could see Rei's body lying there in a dark pool of damp mud. She   
  
wasn't moving.  
  
"Rei!" he called out over the loudspeakers. No response. "Rei, can   
  
you hear me?!"  
  
A loud warning beep managed to tear Shinji's attention off of the   
  
girl's broken form. He looked to the wall just in time to see the   
  
battery timer finish its countdown. As it hit 00:00:00, the lights   
  
flickered and died. Shinji felt a chill as the presence of Unit-04   
  
suddenly and rapidly removed itself from his mind. And then, he was   
  
sitting blind, in the slowly cooling LCL of the entry plug.  
  
There was a too-long sense of falling as Unit-04 lost its balance and   
  
tumbled forwards. The impact was softened by the LCL lake itself, but   
  
Shinji was still rocked in his seat. Mumbling a small curse, he felt   
  
around in the darkness until he found the button for the emergency   
  
release. He thumbed it, triggering Unit-04's last glimmer of battery   
  
energy. It was just enough to part the Eva's back plates and extend   
  
the entry plug far enough for him to get out. After the sudden jerk of   
  
being popped out of the Eva's back, Shinji got out of his seat and felt   
  
on the walls, finally locating the latch for the exit.  
  
The door popped open, pouring out LCL into the lake below. Shinji   
  
emerged moments later, spitting out more of the orange liquid. Unit-04   
  
had almost made it to shore. Lying face-down on the ground, its back   
  
just barely emerged from the surface of the lake of LCL. Shinji   
  
scrambled across the white armor of Unit-04 and dove off the edge, into   
  
the lake.  
  
The swim to shore did not take long. The whole time, Shinji kept his   
  
eyes on Rei's body, looking for some sign, anything, to show that she   
  
was still breathing. As soon as he felt land under his feet, he   
  
started running, slogging through the last of the LCL and emerging   
  
soaked on the shore.  
  
"Rei!" he called out, running up to her. He skidded to a halt, falling   
  
down to a crouch next to her body. She was lying on her side, face   
  
covered by the hair that had haphazardly fallen over it. Carefully, he   
  
rolled her onto her back, his breath catching when he saw the wound.  
  
The gash in her went from her right hip up to her left shoulder, and   
  
was so deep that she had nearly been sliced through. Yet still, it was   
  
oozing fluid onto the sand. Hands shaking, he tried a meager attempt   
  
to stem the bleeding, putting pressure on her wound.  
  
"Come on," he whispered. "Come on, you're all right. You can't bleed   
  
if you're dead, right?" He shivered, feeling her wound.  
  
"You..." he swallowed. "You must be wet, or something...right? Right   
  
Rei? Stop...stop it...stop getting so...cold..."  
  
He didn't notice at first, but in the background, there was a dull   
  
roar. Not the feral roar of an enraged Eva, but rather the constant,   
  
throaty rumble of a rocket. As Shinji knelt by Rei, the noise grew   
  
ever louder, until he finally realized it, and looked over his   
  
shoulder.  
  
With the distance, it looked no larger than a pencil. Just a narrow,   
  
black smudge against the sky. It couldn't possibly be dangerous. But,   
  
as he watched, it descended, falling like the finger of God, down   
  
towards the MP Eva.  
  
The MP Eva, for its part, had risen, in a display of resiliency that   
  
Shinji could not even begin to fathom. It tilted its body back,   
  
letting its half-broken skull "face" look to the sky, at the noisy   
  
thing that was coming down towards it. It paused, looking at the thing   
  
for a long time as it came down. Finally, the MP Eva moved, slowly   
  
spreading its arms wide, like a person greeting their lover. Despite   
  
its injuries, despite its fate, it had never looked more triumphant.   
  
Then the missile struck it.  
  
Shinji reflexively looked away, crying out in pain as all of a sudden   
  
he was blinded. The flash from the strike was such that it made the   
  
sun itself look dim. Squinting his burning eyes, he turned back to   
  
Rei, her pale form thrown into sharp relief by the intense light.  
  
The temperature rose rapidly, going from cool to hot to blistering in a   
  
matter of seconds. Shinji screamed as he felt his back burning, and   
  
was vaguely aware of steam coming off his skin as the LCL clinging to   
  
his body began to boil. Behind him, he could hear a roaring, so loud   
  
it was drowning out all else, as the shockwave approached them, an   
  
unavoidable tide of utter oblivion.  
  
Through the pain, Shinji reached down, taking Rei up in his arms,   
  
holding her ruined body against his, feeling his shirt go damp with her   
  
blood. He saw their shadows growing long, etched into the air itself   
  
as the light moved to consume them.  
  
"Rei..." he whispered. "I'm sorry..." He thought he felt her twitch.   
  
But that had to be the panic from the explosion; with death   
  
approaching, he must have gone mad. He didn't care, not any more. It   
  
would be over, soon.  
  
He felt the energies falling on him, and could only give in as he felt   
  
his body disintegrating.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Endnote: Admit it, you knew I was going to blow something up. One does   
  
not introduce something with the yield of a hydrogen bomb and then   
  
simply let it fade into the background. Of course, that still leaves   
  
the question of whether or not I'll vaporize the rest of Japan while   
  
I'm at it.  
  
Yes, yes I know the scenes are a bit one-sided. I know everyone wants   
  
to know what was going on in the HQ while all this fighting was going   
  
on (and if you didn't, too bad). I had quite a bit planned for that   
  
side of things, but realized as I was writing this that I in fact had   
  
so much planned that I could probably stick it all in a side story or   
  
even a separate chapter altogether. That, and I didn't want to break   
  
up the flow by switching back and forth between the HQ and the fight.   
  
Don't worry, the next installment will cover what everyone else was   
  
doing while Shinji was busy getting his butt kicked. Stay tuned.  
  
Now then, how does one write a romance story in which two of the main   
  
characters have been reduced to sub-atomic particles? Hmm...  
  
Ah yes, I can also hear those geography buffs in my reading audience   
  
getting ready to write small novels about how the site of the Rei II's   
  
demise couldn't possibly be that far from NERV. I say it's my fic, and   
  
so there. Maybe in a later rewrite I'll come up with a more plausible   
  
locale for the final confrontation.  
  
For the observant ones: the whole bit of "cutting the ribbon-  
  
cutter" is something I got from watching Vision of Escaflowne. All   
  
terms in the above disclaimer apply to this series as well. It's not   
  
mine, and I make no claim to it.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Started: August 18, 2003  
  
Version 1 Ended: September 14, 2003  
  
Version 2 Ended: October 16, 2003 


	23. Chapter 19

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
  
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
  
them.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
" " = speech   
  
^ ^ = thoughts   
  
_ _ = italics   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
  
Chapter 19: Choices, Consequences  
  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
  
"This is HQ to all available units..." a sleepy voice muttered, in the   
  
darkness of the empty room. Kensuke, the boy it belonged to, rolled   
  
over, still unconscious. "ETA 24 seconds..." Silence fell again in   
  
the room.   
  
"It's got a lock on me, it's..." he muttered. "Targeting...Warning,   
  
ammunition levels critical. Weapon...depleted..."  
  
His eyes cracked sleepily, and he groaned. It took him several seconds   
  
to get any idea of where he was, and to remember what had happened   
  
prior to ending up here.  
  
"Huh?" was all he could muster. Just a moment ago, he'd been sitting   
  
in an Eva cockpit, just like he'd always dreamed. He'd done...   
  
something...and now he was here? In a dark, unfamiliar room, on a hard   
  
cot, barely able to see anything. He wondered where his glasses were.  
  
Even more unsettling than suddenly finding himself here was how quiet   
  
it was. In the dark, the absence of sound was magnified tenfold, until   
  
his own heartbeat was thunderous, as though trying to fill the void   
  
with its regular thumps.  
  
The silence finally broke, though, as he heard someone else moving   
  
nearby.  
  
"Hello?" he asked. Without his glasses, the already-dark room was   
  
nothing but a black blur, making it utterly impossible to see anything   
  
at all.  
  
"Aida?" asked a sleepy voice. "Is that you?"  
  
"Um...yes?"  
  
"It's Maya Ibuki," the speaker identified herself. "I was keeping an   
  
eye on the infirmary while we're down here..."  
  
"Down where?"  
  
"NERV. Come on, I can explain. Can you move?"  
  
Kensuke responded by sitting up and swinging his legs off the cot. He   
  
winced as his bare feet hit the cold tiles. "Why are we in NERV?" he   
  
asked.  
  
"...We had to," Maya answered after a pause that was too long. "It was   
  
for our own safety. Here," she said curtly, handing him his glasses.   
  
"There's some shoes by the door. You'll need them."  
  
Dropping his glasses back onto his head, Kensuke could now see Maya's   
  
silhouette in the darkness. "All right. Ibuki-san...who else is here?   
  
Was anyone hurt?"  
  
There was a long, tense silence before Maya finally replied.   
  
"Akagi...Ritsuko was here for a little while for a head injury. Ni-san   
  
was here earlier, too."  
  
"Ariel?" Kensuke asked, finding the shoes by the door. "What   
  
happened?"  
  
"She got sick, after..." Maya trailed off. "Well, it doesn't matter, I   
  
guess. She got better after a day or so."  
  
"Oh, okay," Kensuke said, searching the wall for a light switch. "Not   
  
many wounded, then? That's good."  
  
Maya did not reply to that. Kensuke got the distinct impression that   
  
he'd just said something that he shouldn't have.  
  
Maya went to the door, opening it, allowing in the dim red illumination   
  
of emergency lights. "You've been out a few days, Aida," she said,   
  
quietly. "A lot has happened. We had to move everyone down here, to   
  
be safe."  
  
"From what? Did the Evas get over here? I thought we were going to   
  
fight at a safe distance so - "  
  
"Aida, just...stop talking for a minute. Come with me."  
  
Kensuke followed her out of the room and down the hall. As soon as he   
  
looked out, he could see that something was wrong. The hallway looked   
  
like a disaster area. It was twisted along its length, as though a   
  
giant had grabbed both ends and torqued it. The ceiling was partially   
  
collapsed in several places, rubble littering the old tiles. Many   
  
places were cast into darkness by broken lights. These places, he had   
  
to follow Maya carefully, watching her footsteps to see where it was   
  
safe to go.  
  
The whole way, Kensuke stayed quiet. The halls were eerily empty,   
  
something that he knew spoke volumes about what was going on. He was   
  
getting unsettled; this was looking too much like that time when he and   
  
the others had ventured down here, getting attacked by some insane   
  
soldier along the way.  
  
But what could have done this? An Eva? He doubted it, even though he   
  
wasn't quite sure how much power they had. This wasn't the localized   
  
chaos of a giant robot's attack, but was a more general destruction.   
  
It almost looked like an earthquake had ripped through here.  
  
Maya navigated them through the labrynth of corridors, made even more   
  
difficult now by the recent destruction. Finally, though, they arrived   
  
at an open area, where there were other people. Kensuke recognized   
  
many of them: Ariel, Asuka, Misato, and Ritsuko, the last of which had   
  
her head bandaged. He also noted Misato had some gauze on one of her   
  
ears, giving her face a strangely lopsided look.  
  
"He's awake," Maya announced, as she stumbled through the hallway and   
  
into the room.  
  
Ritsuko and Misato spared Kensuke a glance at this, giving him a nod   
  
before looking away. Asuka made no move at all. The girl was leaning   
  
against a wall, staring at a point on the floor with unfocused eyes,   
  
arms hanging limp at her sides. Ariel stood near her, her eyes filled   
  
with some emotion halfway between sadness and anger. Kensuke looked at   
  
her, not understanding, and feeling his own spirits fall, seeing the   
  
downcast look on her face.  
  
"Good morning?" Kensuke tried, feeling the tension. There was no   
  
response. "Um, Soryu, are you - "  
  
Maya cut him off by clamping one hand on his shoulder. Looking up to   
  
her, Kensuke saw Maya shaking her head, quietly telling him to leave   
  
Asuka alone.  
  
Kensuke went quiet, then. Now he knew something was wrong. Where was   
  
everyone? Presumably, the Americans were down here too. These ruins   
  
were officially American property, and all. He could only guess that   
  
maybe these few people were waiting for something.  
  
He started pacing, not knowing what else he could do. After a few   
  
minutes of this, he became aware of some attention, annoyed glances at   
  
him, quietly asking him to stop.  
  
"Aida," a quiet voice said, finally.  
  
Kensuke jumped a little, at the voice that had come from behind him.   
  
Whirling, he saw Ariel's face, framed as always by her snow-white hair.  
  
"Ni-san, uh, I - " he tried to say, hesitantly, but his voice failed   
  
him.  
  
"Your pacing is getting bothersome. Sit down," she said. "I'll try to   
  
explain."  
  
Kensuke obediently sat down against the wall. Ariel crouched down   
  
opposite him. She glanced over her shoulder at Asuka, who it seemed   
  
hadn't even noticed Ariel leaving her side.  
  
"The short of it is, we won the battle," Ariel began, whispering.  
  
Kensuke nodded, giving her a blank look. "Isn't that good?" he said.  
  
"Only to the ignorant," she said, giving him an angry look that Kensuke   
  
remembered getting from Asuka all too many times. It was amazing how   
  
many mannerisms the two girls shared, he thought to himself.  
  
"The enemy proved too resilient for our units," she explained. "We   
  
simply couldn't stop it. In the end, the Americans had to launch a   
  
powerful missile of mass destruction."  
  
"A nuke?" Kensuke asked, breathlessly. He felt a chill go down his   
  
spine, at the thought of it. It made sense; a nuclear weapon made   
  
enough of a shockwave to make a localized earthquake. That would   
  
explain why they were in NERV now, and why the halls were in such   
  
chaos. Would they have to stay down here? Was all that awaited them   
  
outside an irradiated wasteland?  
  
"Not an atomic weapon," Ariel said, quenching his fears even as they   
  
formed. "A more powerful version of the N2 mine. It was able to   
  
destroy the enemy."  
  
"We're sure?" Kensuke asked.  
  
"I am," Ariel answered, cryptically. She said no more, and her   
  
expression made it clear that no explanation would be offered.  
  
"So..." Kensuke tried, finally. "Is everything OK topside? Was anyone   
  
hurt?"  
  
Ariel took a breath and let it out slowly. "We were able to safely   
  
evacuate the camp down to here. Most people are deeper underground.   
  
Some of the soldiers are trying to find a way out, right now. There   
  
were two...three presumed casualties," Ariel said, holding up one hand   
  
to silence him. "We have been unable to locate Rei Ayanami."  
  
Kensuke went quiet, thinking about that. Rei dead? It was something   
  
that shouldn't have affected him, he thought. She was such a quiet   
  
girl...he hadn't really known her that well. But all the same, she'd   
  
been part of his life, and to think that she was now gone...well, maybe   
  
not, he thought, his mind looking for something to hold onto. They   
  
just hadn't been able to find her. Maybe...  
  
"Who else?" Kensuke asked. "You said three casualties."  
  
Ariel's eyes looked down then, her face going sad enough that Kensuke   
  
felt a part of him go out to her. He wanted to tell her it was all   
  
right...but he didn't even know what 'it' was.  
  
"The only ones we were unable to evacuate," Ariel finally answered.   
  
"They were forced to take the full blast from the American missile."   
  
She paused, watching as it sunk it. Kensuke had just figured it out   
  
when Ariel confirmed his fears. "The Eva pilots."  
  
Kensuke blinked, disbelieving. Now Kaoru was dead, too? But then   
  
who'd been in Unit-04?  
  
It clicked, then. The sadness pervading the room, the look on Asuka's   
  
face, the notable absence of someone he should have known to look for   
  
immediately...  
  
"No," Kensuke said. "No, no it's just not possible..."  
  
"Control yourself, Aida," Ariel said, giving him that angry look again.   
  
Kensuke thought he could see the beginnings of some tears in her eyes.   
  
"I have been through too much already to watch someone else break   
  
down." Her voice quavered a little at first, until she got a hold of   
  
herself.  
  
Kensuke tried to say something, but his throat had closed up. He just   
  
shook his head, his mind simply unable to accept what he'd heard.   
  
"I am sorry," Ariel muttered, looking away from him. "It has been a   
  
very difficult couple of days." She stood up, looking down at him,   
  
now. "If you want to talk later..." she said, trailing off and   
  
shrugging.  
  
Kensuke might have replied somehow, but he never got the chance, as a   
  
voice came from up another hallway.  
  
"We're through!" it shouted, in English.  
  
Slowly, the women began to move, first Ritsuko, then Maya and Misato,   
  
then Ariel, who had to gently take Asuka by the hand, leading her up   
  
the hallway. Kensuke followed at what he hoped was a safe distance.  
  
The hallway they were in now had a definite upward angle to it, leading   
  
towards what was hopefully the surface. It was completely dark, except   
  
for the flickering beams of high-intensity flashlights further up the   
  
corridor. They moved, not speaking, towards the lights. Finally, they   
  
arrived at a thick metal door. Around it were several Americans,   
  
technicians and soldiers, with the familiar form of Colonel Lewis   
  
standing among them, muttering orders.  
  
The soldiers at the door were talking. After a few moments, Lewis came   
  
back to them. He still stood a good distance off, like a man before   
  
wolves, giving himself time to get away if they attacked. Kensuke   
  
looked at him, feeling not angry, but strangely betrayed. He somehow   
  
knew it had been Lewis who'd ordered the launch. As the highest-  
  
ranking officer, it only made sense. How could he have done that?  
  
"False alarm," he said. "We got to turn back. This door's no good."  
  
"Why?" Kensuke asked, immediately.  
  
Lewis looked at him, and Kensuke was shocked to see a hint of sadness   
  
in Lewis' eyes.  
  
"Because it's welded shut, kid," he answered, quietly. "Melted down   
  
from the outside."  
  
There was a quiet sound from behind Kensuke, sounding something like a   
  
sob. Lewis looked over Kensuke's shoulder, at the group of Japanese.  
  
"Don't suppose you people got a back door to this place?" he asked.   
  
The answer was just a tense, angry silence, as everyone avoided eye   
  
contact, not out of fear, but hate.  
  
The unsettling quiet was broken, suddenly, by a ground tremor, shaking   
  
the floor and reverberating down the passage they'd come through,   
  
before finally falling silent again.  
  
"What was that?" Kensuke asked, his voice echoing in the new silence,   
  
this one tense, and smelling of fear.  
  
He got his answer quickly enough, as a horrible sound of shrieking   
  
metal came from further up the hall, at the door. All eyes turned to   
  
the door as the Americans jumped clear. The solid steel frame began to   
  
quiver, then come loose. Daylight poured in through the rent in the   
  
wall, as the door was forcibly worked loose. Apprehension turned to   
  
horror as massive fingers appeared, clad in armor, slipping in to grasp   
  
the ruined door from inside, and finally tear it free.  
  
"Evac!" Lewis ordered. "Everyone back into the compound!" There was   
  
no argument, as everyone - save one - began to run, away from the ruin   
  
of the door, away from the monster waiting for them outside.  
  
Only one person did not run. Her white hair blasted back by the wind   
  
coming in from outside, Ariel's eyes narrowed, as the door vanished   
  
entirely, tossed aside like the worthless scrap of metal it had become.   
  
Outside, a gigantic foot could be seen, gleaming blue in the sun.  
  
Not a trace of fear on her face, Ariel strode forward, exiting the   
  
passage, stepping onto the soil outside, and looking up at the giant   
  
that awaited her.  
  
"Was that necessary, Tabris?" she shouted at it. Amid the din of   
  
running and shouts for Ariel to come back, what she said was lost on   
  
the others.  
  
"My apologies," a thunderous voice came from outside. "But I could   
  
tell you could not get the door open from your side." Hearing this,   
  
people began to stop running, and a few began to go back. One by one,   
  
they exited the passage, stepping onto the ruined world that lay   
  
beyond.  
  
Unit-00 stood outside. Many people just stared at the giant,   
  
disbelieving. They'd seen it on the monitors. They'd seen it fight.   
  
It had been gutted, crushed, and finally decapitated. But yet, here it   
  
stood, miraculously healed, looking as though it had just been built,   
  
and gazing down at them like a protective parent.  
  
Having established that the Eva was on their side, many people began to   
  
survey the territory around them. They went quiet, looking. They said   
  
nothing; nothing needed to be said.  
  
They had all seen destruction before. Be it from war, Eva combat, or   
  
even Third Impact itself, they had all seen the world go mad, falling   
  
into destruction and turmoil. But this was worse. This was not simply   
  
destruction. This...was oblivion.  
  
The ground had been blasted flat. The red, dusty soil they had grown   
  
accustomed to was gone, stripped away forever. All that was left was   
  
hard rock, still hot, burning their feet. Of the camp, nothing was left.   
  
There were not even ruins, not even scraps of metal or rock or blood.   
  
There was simply nothing, as far as the eye could see.  
  
"Good to see you," Lewis shouted at the Eva. "What's your status?"  
  
"I do not report to you, Colonel," Kaoru answered, the Eva looking down   
  
at him accusingly. "But I believe you can see the status from where   
  
you stand. Unit-00 is functional. But there is nothing else I can   
  
see."  
  
"What about Shinji?" a voice asked. Kensuke turned, looking back at   
  
the voice. Asuka looked up at Unit-00's cyclopean visage, barely   
  
restrained panic on her face.  
  
There was a long pause. The silence said more than any words. Unit-00   
  
shaking its head was merely punctuation to the message, confirmed by   
  
Kaoru's next words.  
  
"There is nothing," he said. "Nothing of the enemy, of Unit-04, of   
  
Rei, of Shinji, of anything near ground zero." He paused, before   
  
saying the words no one wanted to hear, terrible with their truth.  
  
"They're gone."  
  
***  
  
"What did Ritsuko say, anyway?" Asuka was asking.  
  
Shinji just shook his head, as he ducked into the tent he and Asuka   
  
shared. He sat down hard and looked at her.  
  
"She said she didn't know," he finally answered. "At least, I'm pretty   
  
sure that's what she was saying."  
  
"Those scientists," Asuka commented, sarcastically, as she sat down   
  
next to Shinji. "Never want to just come out and say they don't know.   
  
Would mean they aren't the smartest people anymore."  
  
"I guess," Shinji replied humorlessly.  
  
"So what's going to happen with Aida?"  
  
Now Shinji put a small smile on his face. It was good to know that   
  
Asuka had some capacity to care for 'the stooge'. "I'm not sure," he   
  
answered. "He's still breathing, but I can't say much more."  
  
"Oh," Asuka said, quietly. The look in her eyes asked the question she   
  
hadn't put into words.  
  
"There's no way he'll be able to pilot an Eva," Shinji said, so quietly   
  
it was almost a whisper. "Even if he wakes up tomorrow...he won't be   
  
able to complete his pilot training." He hung his head. "It was such   
  
a stupid idea. I shouldn't have let him..."  
  
Asuka gingerly touched Shinji's shoulder. "You couldn't have stopped   
  
him," she said, quietly. "You know he's always wanted to be a pilot."  
  
Shinji's only reply was to shake his head. Asuka said nothing, putting   
  
her arm around him and just waiting for him to gather himself back   
  
together. After a time, she heard him whispering something.  
  
"...for Unit-04," she heard him say.  
  
"What?"  
  
Shinji looked up at her. "We need to find another pilot for Unit-04.   
  
Kaoru-kun can't do it on his own," he added, seeing Asuka about to cut   
  
in. "He needs backup. With Rei...in prison, he needs someone else to   
  
help him. Alone, I don't know if he can..."  
  
Asuka shook her head. "Hey, he's a good pilot. Almost as good as   
  
me," she said. "Besides, he'll be better if he's actually _in_ the Eva   
  
this time, right?"  
  
Shinji shook his head. "I don't know. That's the thing. There's just   
  
too many...damn unknowns..."  
  
Asuka shrugged. "All right Shinji-chan, but where are you going to   
  
find someone crazy enough to jump in that deathtrap and go charging   
  
into battle? If it were my old Unit-02, I'd be first in line, but this   
  
American piece of crap's been a disaster ever since we first saw it."  
  
Another tiny smile on Shinji's lips. "Yeah." He let out a breath.   
  
"But Ritsuko-san and me were talking about that, too. She...she didn't   
  
say it straight out, but she suggested a backup pilot."  
  
"Really?" Asuka asked, incredulous. "Don't tell me it's one of the   
  
Americans, 'cause I'd rather fight an Eva with my bare hands than..."  
  
She trailed off, as Shinji looked at her. His expression was what   
  
caught her attention: quiet, impassive, but also resolute. Eyes that   
  
looked for approval, but that looked ready to go on without it.  
  
It took Asuka only a few seconds to realize just who it was Ritsuko had   
  
suggested.  
  
"No," she said, firmly. "No, I won't - "  
  
"I have to," Shinji said, quietly.  
  
"No!" Asuka shouted at him. "Right after seeing Aida get almost killed   
  
just from sitting in it, you're going to be _stupid_ enough to jump   
  
in?"  
  
Shinji shook his head. "I have to take the chance," he said. "If I   
  
don't, Kaoru will - "  
  
"To hell with that weirdo!" Asuka shouted at him, standing up as best   
  
she could in the low-ceilinged tent. "I can't just watch you go get   
  
yourself killed!"  
  
Shinji didn't move, just kept his eyes on her. "I'm sorry, Asuka."  
  
Asuka shook her head violently. "No, no, NO! Don't apologize to me,   
  
Ikari. That doesn't just make it better." She stared at him with eyes   
  
like hot coals. Shinji looked away, but said nothing, and looked no   
  
less determined.  
  
Asuka sat back down, across the tent from him this time. "You can't,"   
  
she said, more calmly this time. "You can't just throw it all away.   
  
Two _years_, Shinji! If you die, it'll all be..."  
  
"If I don't try, it'll all be moot anyway," he replied. He crawled   
  
over to her. "Will you be there?" he asked, brushing some hair away   
  
from her face.  
  
Asuka continued to look angry at him, but after a moment she crushed   
  
him into a tight hug. "Of course," she said, quietly. "Don't you   
  
die."  
  
"I'll do my best."  
  
***  
  
Asuka's eyes opened, as she took a sharp breath. Just for a minute,   
  
he'd been there. She could only think that that had been her last real   
  
conversation with Shinji. True, they'd spoken to each other between   
  
then and the battle, but that had been the last time they'd really   
  
_talked_.  
  
"Are you awake?"  
  
Asuka shifted in her seat, looking over to Ariel, sitting next to her.   
  
The concerned look on the girl's face helped, if only a little.  
  
They were seated on a plane again, headed back across the country to   
  
the main camp they'd left behind what felt like years ago. The roar of   
  
the engines was strangely lulling; Asuka had slept for the first time   
  
in days here. But after seeing what - or who - awaited her in her   
  
dreams, she didn't want to go back to sleep.  
  
"I just don't believe it," Asuka mumbled. Ariel nodded, trying to look   
  
encouraging. "I mean...I just think about it, and it feels like some   
  
kind of dream. Like any minute I'm going to wake up and he's going to   
  
be there again."  
  
Ariel nodded again. "That's how it can be," she said. "I know."  
  
"You've..." Asuka trailed off, unable to say any more. She swallowed.   
  
"You've been in a situation like this?"  
  
"I've lost friends before," Ariel said, looking away. "It hits you   
  
right here," she said, putting one hand on her chest. "And the first   
  
thing you think is that no, it can't be happening. Nothing so terrible   
  
could happen to me." She looked at Asuka with a sad smile.  
  
Asuka shook her head. "I just keep thinking about what I could have   
  
done. I could have warned him it was coming. Maybe...I don't know,   
  
maybe he could have gotten away in time. I know all that stuff about   
  
'minimum safe distance,' and all, but this was Shinji!" she said,   
  
sharply. "If anyone could've gotten to safety, it would have been   
  
him."  
  
Ariel put a hand on Asuka's arm, squeezing it briefly before letting   
  
go. Asuka didn't seem to notice. She muttered something under her   
  
breath: "I should have been the one in Unit-04."  
  
"And then you'd have Shinji feeling how you do, now?" Ariel said,   
  
immediately.  
  
Asuka blinked in surprise, glancing sideways at Ariel. Finally, she   
  
shook her head in defeat. "No," she said. "I wouldn't want that."  
  
Ariel watched Asuka continue to mutter. It was painful, knowing   
  
exactly how Asuka thought and not being able to act on it, at least not   
  
directly. Asuka was looking for someone to blame, someone she could   
  
get angry at. If she was angry, she wouldn't be sad anymore. There   
  
were only so many people to target with her rage, though. It wasn't   
  
like Zero was around anymore.  
  
Zero. Ariel felt conflicting emotions on that subject, herself.   
  
Through her own enhanced senses, as well as speaking to the people   
  
who'd been in the command bunker, she'd found that Zero had been out   
  
there, somehow. Involved in this combat which had resulted in the   
  
launching of a missile so powerful that even Zeruel had not been able   
  
to stand up to it. The mere existence of such a weapon was enough to   
  
give Ariel chills. To see the Angel of Might fall to a mortal   
  
weapon...  
  
She shook her head, quietly. If that weapon could kill Zeruel, then   
  
Zero would have been reduced to nothingness on the spot. In a   
  
heartbeat, Ariel had been handed the very thing she'd been wishing for.   
  
Zero, the one who'd damned her and her brethren to an eternity of   
  
isolation, was finally gone. So then, why did she not feel happier?  
  
Perhaps it was this human quality called empathy. It was difficult to   
  
feel elated when everyone around her was in borderline despair. Was   
  
she just mimicking the feelings of the people around her?  
  
No, it was something else. Simply hearing about Zero's death through   
  
secondhand accounts had just not been enough for her. Zero had   
  
committed a horrible crime against her and the others. She'd locked   
  
them away and forgotten them, throwing them down a slow descent into   
  
madness. When they'd broken free, Zero had set about killing them,   
  
obliterating their very souls. Ariel had wanted Zero dead, but she had   
  
wanted to do it herself. To feel Zero's throat crushing under her   
  
fingers, to see her take her last gasp...  
  
To top it all off, Zero had died in such a way that she'd taken Shinji   
  
with her. Ariel's feelings towards the boy were mixed. He'd been one   
  
of the warriors who'd fought against her and her brethren, but she   
  
hadn't harbored the same hatred for him as she had for Zero. She'd   
  
wanted to learn more about him, find out just what it was that had   
  
given a boy the strength to stand up to angels.   
  
That, she thought, and Shinji had clearly meant very much to Asuka.   
  
This close to the girl, Ariel could literally feel what was going on   
  
inside Asuka's mind; she was trying not to break apart, and the   
  
struggle was draining her, leaving her a weak, hollowed-out shell of   
  
her former self. Ariel wondered if the girl would ever be the same.  
  
^Damn you, Zero,^ she thought to herself. ^You can't even die right.^  
  
Ariel could feel them making the final descent towards the air strip at   
  
the camp. The flight was nearly over, now. Soon, they would come to   
  
the hard part, of breaking the news to the people there. Ariel looked   
  
over to Asuka, knowing that her friend was not in any condition for   
  
that sort of thing, not yet.  
  
"What bothers me," she began, quietly. Asuka looked to her, eyes   
  
blank. "What bothers me is that you look like you're holding it in,"   
  
Ariel explained. "You haven't found an outlet, yet."  
  
Asuka's eyes narrowed. "I don't cry," she said. "Not anymore."  
  
"That's one way," Ariel conceded. "And it's not a sign of weakness,   
  
you know. Losing someone can be hard." She shrugged. "I remember   
  
when I lost a friend, I threw up."  
  
Asuka snorted, in what could have been a very small laugh. "Like you   
  
did back in NERV," she said, quietly. "You were pretty sick, back   
  
there."  
  
"Yeah..." Ariel said, hesitantly. She clenched one hand on her knee,   
  
nervously, knowing she'd probably said too much. "Well, I have a weak   
  
stomach, sometimes."  
  
"I think you actually threw up more than you ate," Asuka was saying.   
  
"How'd you do that, anyway?"  
  
Ariel held up one hand. "Stop trying to avoid the subject," she said.   
  
"You need some way to let it out." She kept her hand up, gesturing for   
  
Asuka not to speak for another moment. "You don't have to cry," she   
  
said. "I know you didn't want to cry after your mother, that's fine.   
  
But - "  
  
"Wait a minute," Asuka said. She looked at Ariel curiously. "How'd   
  
you know that?"  
  
Ariel blinked. "Know what?" she asked innocently.  
  
"My mother," she said. "I don't think I ever told you about that."  
  
Ariel froze, feeling her heartbeat accelerate. Her mind searched in   
  
vain for an excuse. She tried to console herself, telling herself that   
  
there was no way Asuka could suspect the truth. She still had to say   
  
something, though, or the girl's imagination would begin to work its   
  
magic. But what to say?  
  
Fate stepped in, giving her some temporary relief. With a strong   
  
_thud_, the airplane touched down.  
  
She and Asuka were jerked in their seats, making both of them jump a   
  
little. "We're here," Ariel announced needlessly, acting as though   
  
Asuka hadn't asked her anything.  
  
Asuka just turned away. She wasn't in the mood for suspecting her   
  
friend, not now anyway. She just looked out the window.  
  
Outside, she could see buildings, recently erected, looking not unlike   
  
the shelters the Americans had put up back at NERV. It looked like   
  
they'd done a good job rebuilding after the incident with the berserk   
  
Unit-00.  
  
Along the airstrip, she could also see people, come to see them land.   
  
A plane was still a rare thing these days, so much so that people would   
  
drop what they were doing just to see it come down.  
  
The plane landed safely, and taxied over to the side, ready for its   
  
passengers to debark. However, before Asuka could get out of her seat,   
  
she saw something outside that made her breath catch: Hikari, standing   
  
there quietly, hands clasped in front of her. Asuka remembered how she   
  
and Hikari had had a fight, though about what she could no longer   
  
remember. She'd resolved not to look at Hikari as a friend any longer,   
  
but seeing her out here, she knew that the other girl did not feel the   
  
same. Hikari had come, to see her friend arrive home safely.  
  
But that was not the worst. Next to Hikari stood Toji, his arm around   
  
her waist, holding her close and shielding her against the winds as the   
  
plane finally ground to a halt. Hikari was leaning on him, taking in   
  
his warmth, his strength.  
  
Asuka closed her eyes, unable to look any more. She tried to get up,   
  
but her legs just wouldn't move. She felt something well up inside of   
  
her, something she thought she'd cut away, something she'd seen as   
  
useless and weak. But all the same, here it was.  
  
A single tear appeared, trickling down her face before dropping off her   
  
chin, sinking into the fabric of her pants as her fists clenched. She   
  
prayed no one had seen that, but someone had: Ariel had put her arm   
  
around Asuka, hugging her, trying to be supportive. Asuka covered her   
  
face, feeling more tears coming.  
  
***  
  
Lewis was at the radio. He'd again removed the slip of paper from one   
  
pocket, but not before sliding his sunglasses down over his eyes. His   
  
eyes hidden behind opaque lenses, it was impossible to tell when he was   
  
looking at them and when he was looking at the radio. In his free hand,   
  
he held his gun, using it to hold off Asuka and Misato, standing just a   
  
few meters away in the command bunker.  
  
"I'm putting an end to this bullshit," he said, to no one in   
  
particular. "You might believe in that kid, but I can't, not after   
  
what I've seen that thing do."  
  
"You can't," Asuka said, taking a step forwards. At a gesture from the   
  
gun, however, she stepped back again. "You'll kill him. You'll kill   
  
us _all_."  
  
"If you've got a plan B, I'd love to hear it. But what I see is a monster   
  
that wipes out everything, your robots and my jets alike." He stared at   
  
them, the laser sight appearing as his finger squeezed the trigger halfway.   
  
"Lucifer squadron's gone. Even your blue robot's just a pile of scrap, now.   
  
You think I want to put my faith in one little kid driving a robot he doesn't   
  
even know how to control?"  
  
"Shinji can do it," Misato said, quietly.  
  
Lewis stared at her, shaking his head after a moment. "I only wish I   
  
could have faith like that," he said, quietly. "But that's just the   
  
way the world is, now." He picked up the radio receiver. "God's left   
  
us. All that's left is what we can do for ourselves."  
  
Misato and Asuka could only watch, helpless. They outnumbered him, two to   
  
one. A scant three meters separated them from him. If they both rushed him,   
  
one of them could make it to him, stop him before he could give the order to   
  
launch. But no one wanted to be first. No one wanted to be the one who got   
  
shot.  
  
"This is Colonel Lewis," he said into the radio. "Requesting launch of   
  
single S2 missile." He paused. "I understand. But I only need one   
  
launched. I don't see any reason to fire them all." Another pause.   
  
"I will assume full responsibility. Prepare missile. Authorization   
  
code is..." he looked at the paper and rattled off a long series of   
  
numbers and letters.  
  
Misato started forward. "No!" she shouted.  
  
Lewis' response was immediate. The Desert Eagle pointed towards her,   
  
laser sight appearing. His finger squeezed the trigger, and there was   
  
a sudden thunderclap as the gun bucked in his hand.  
  
***  
  
"...ato? Misato! Are you listening?"  
  
Misato came out of her daze. "Hm? Oh, yes," she said.  
  
Ritsuko shook her head, continuing with her debriefing of the battle.   
  
"So it seems the enemy Eva had focused its AT field into its arm   
  
weapons," she explained. "The result, of course, was the nigh-  
  
impenetrability noted on its body. The weak spot was the arms   
  
themselves; their edges corresponded with the weakest spots on its AT   
  
field, and hence were the logical place to attack."  
  
"Right, right," Misato agreed, only half-listening. Absentmindedly,   
  
she fingered her left ear, currently wrapped up in bandages. Lewis,   
  
crazy bastard he was, had shot off her earlobe. It hadn't been a miss;   
  
she'd seen the man shoot, and at that range even a child could have hit   
  
somewhere lethal. This had been his version of a warning shot. It had   
  
certainly done the job; she'd frozen where she stood, wondering where   
  
she was hit, if she was going to die. The next moment, he'd launched   
  
the missile.  
  
She'd choked, in that last moment. She'd let a little nick stop her   
  
from saving Shinji. Every time she thought about it, she was sure   
  
there was something else she could have done. She could have kept   
  
_moving_, tackled Lewis before he could give the command to fire. She   
  
couldn't help thinking that it would have worked, even though she knew   
  
in the back of her mind that he would have just fired again, and it   
  
wouldn't have been another warning shot.   
  
"...which led to the total dissolution of the target." Ritsuko was   
  
still going, apparently not noticing that Misato was no longer paying   
  
attention.  
  
They currently sat in one of the buildings the Americans had put up in   
  
their absence. This one was serving as a combination hospital and   
  
science lab, a good place for Ritsuko to set up shop. This was the   
  
first time Misato had set foot in the building; Ritsuko was intent on   
  
debriefing her about the battle.  
  
"Why are we bothering with this?" Misato asked, suddenly, cutting   
  
Ritsuko off. "We both know what happened. We won, didn't we?" she   
  
asked, bitterly.  
  
Ritsuko paused, looking at her old friend, trying to figure out what to   
  
say. "In a manner of speaking," she said. "But it's also best to   
  
understand the mechanics of this, so we can avoid a repeat. You should   
  
know that, Misato." She paused, letting that sink in. "Now, I don't   
  
know if Unit-04 will be salvageable, but we will certainly try."  
  
The direct blast of the S2 missile had disintegrated the MP Eva down to   
  
its waist. The rest had crumbled into dust at some point later. Unit-  
  
04, about half a kilometer from ground zero, had not done much better.   
  
It had been shielded somewhat by the LCL lake, but not much. The LCL   
  
had flash-boiled, evaporating in less than a second as the blast hit.   
  
When they'd first seen it, Unit-04 had not been recognizeable as such.   
  
It had just been a lump of melted slag, in a vaguely humanoid shape.   
  
Kaoru said he could run Unit-00's S2 engine through it to spark   
  
regeneration, but Misato didn't know how hopeful to get.  
  
"Of Ikari and Ayanami, there was no sign," Ritsuko explained,   
  
emotionlessly. "Though that in itself leads to several interesting   
  
questions."  
  
"You mean who died first?" Misato asked, angrily. "Or whether they   
  
melted, or exploded?" She shook her head. "Maybe their blood boiled   
  
first. It's all just science, isn't it?"  
  
Ritsuko calmly folded her hands in her lap. "I understand you're   
  
angry, Misato. But there's no sense in taking it out on me. If you do   
  
not want to be here, you don't have to be."  
  
"Sorry, Ritsu," Misato said, standing up. "It's just...too soon, I   
  
think. Maybe later." She headed for the door.  
  
"Misato," Ritsuko said firmly, as Misato put her hand on the knob.  
  
Misato let out a small sigh, turning around to look. "What is it?" she   
  
asked, tired.  
  
Ritsuko was on her feet, now. "The questions I mentioned are relating   
  
to an AT-field blip that appeared just after the moment of detonation.   
  
We know that Rei was developing some further control over her field,   
  
which is interesting."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
Ritsuko took a breath. "Maybe it's too soon to give up hope," she   
  
said. "There's a faint possibility they could have survived."  
  
Misato stared at Ritsuko, looking to see if she was serious. Seeing   
  
the firm look in Ritsuko's eyes, Misato just shook her head. Turning   
  
to face her, Misato took one step, closing the distance, drawing back   
  
one arm.  
  
A loud slap resounded off the walls of the room. Ritsuko's head jerked   
  
to the side with the force of the impact, but her expression remained   
  
impassive. Misato, her hand stinging, left, not saying a word.  
  
It was good no one was outside when she left; Misato made it halfway   
  
around the building before she had to stop, leaning against the wall,   
  
covering her face as tears trickled around her fingers.   
  
Damn her! Damn Ritsuko, trying to give her hope when there wasn't any.   
  
Misato had been there; she'd seen the blast site. A perfect outline of   
  
Rei and Shinji had been scorched into the ground itself; that was all   
  
that was left of them. There wasn't even anything left to bury.  
  
She stayed there a few minutes, trying to gather herself back up. She   
  
needed to find something to occupy her mind, she knew. Once she'd   
  
managed to regain her composure, she started walking, heading for the   
  
small house that had been built for Asuka. Her mind had chanced upon   
  
something, remembering that yesterday, Asuka had been talking about   
  
going to see Colonel Lewis. Misato had been unable to come; she and   
  
Ritsuko had been busy trying to set up the small science building she'd   
  
just walked from. Maybe now she could see just how it had gone.  
  
The house looked dark, even in the full noon sunlight. Misato knocked   
  
gently, hearing no response. The doorknob turned in her hand, so she   
  
let herself in.  
  
"Hello?" she called out, her voice echoing off the empty walls. There   
  
was only silence for her answer. Misato searched around; there were   
  
only a few rooms here, the best the Americans had been able to build on   
  
short notice. After a moment, she found Asuka, sitting in the largest   
  
room, curled up against one wall.  
  
"Hey," Misato said, worried. She knelt down next to Asuka. "Are you   
  
all right?"  
  
Asuka didn't respond. She just looked at Misato, her lips tight with   
  
emotion. She was squeezing her legs up against her chest, her hands   
  
shaking with the effort. Strangely, she wore a large pair of   
  
sunglasses, even in the darkened room.  
  
"Do you want to be alone?" Misato asked. Asuka nodded once.   
  
Misato turned as though to leave, but just sat down against the   
  
opposite wall instead. "Too bad," she said. "I feel like being alone,   
  
too."  
  
They sat there, in silence, for a long time. Misato waited patiently,   
  
knowing that Asuka wanted to talk, even if she wasn't saying it. It   
  
was just a matter of time, and she knew that Asuka would have to let it   
  
out eventually.  
  
Finally, Asuka muttered something. "It's his fault."  
  
Misato finally looked up, waking from the half-daze she'd fallen into,   
  
waiting. "What?"  
  
"It's his fault," Asuka said, louder. "That bastard American. He   
  
pushed the fucking button. He killed my Shinji."  
  
Misato bit her lip. She'd have guessed this was how it would turn out.   
  
"I know," she said, in quiet agreement.  
  
"It's his fault," Asuka muttered again.  
  
Misato got the strange feeling that whatever it was Asuka was saying,   
  
it was all just a faint echo of some earlier outburst. Normally, she   
  
was much louder when something was bothering her this much.  
  
"Is something wrong, Asuka?" she tried.  
  
"I'm fine," Asuka answered too quickly. "Just fucking fine."  
  
After a few moments of silence, Misato tried a new tack. "So I hear   
  
you went to talk to the Colonel, last night," she said, sounding like   
  
she was just trying to make small talk.  
  
Asuka didn't say anything, but Misato got the distinct impression the   
  
girl had just rolled her eyes behind those sunglasses.  
  
"Were you angry at him, then?" Misato asked.  
  
Asuka gave her a dry look. "No, of course not," she said,   
  
sarcastically. "I went to thank him for blowing up my boyfriend and   
  
almost vaporizing all of _us_ with the fucking shockwave." Her voice   
  
was frighteningly calm, the whole time. Misato tensed, sensing an   
  
explosion. It came a heartbeat later.  
  
"Of _course_ I was angry!" Asuka shouted, jumping to her feet. "I   
  
wanted to kill him!"  
  
"Is that what you tried?" Misato asked, keeping her own voice even.  
  
Asuka snorted, turning her back to Misato. Behind her, Misato stood up   
  
quietly, approaching Asuka slowly.  
  
"Asuka, I need to know," she said. "Did you two fight?"  
  
"I don't want to talk about it," Asuka bit out.  
  
Misato let out a slow breath. "Asuka, when I was in college, there was   
  
this girl I knew," she began, slowly. "She had a real jerk boyfriend,   
  
violent and insecure. The thing is, you could always tell when they'd   
  
had a fight, because the next day, well...she'd be wearing sunglasses."  
  
Asuka turned around, facing her. She'd clenched her jaw, either out of   
  
anger or to keep control over herself, to keep from looking weak.   
  
Slowly, she reached up and slid her sunglasses off.  
  
"Oh, Asuka..." Misato whispered.  
  
***  
  
The American side of the encampment was much less permanent than the   
  
Japanese, which only made sense; the Americans were supposed to only be   
  
a temporary presence, after all. As such, most of the men still lived   
  
in tents. Misato's hands were clenched tight, as she approached   
  
Lewis' tent. The guard at the entrance nodded at her and stepped   
  
aside, letting her in without a word. Apparently, she was expected.  
  
"Colonel!" she almost shouted as she entered. "Where are you?"  
  
"And a good afternoon to you too, Katsuragi," came a slightly slurred   
  
voice from the back. Half-obscured behind a pile of boxes and bedding,   
  
Lewis sat in shadow, a bottle clearly visible in his hand.  
  
Misato shook her head. "You're disgusting," she said, angrily. She   
  
took a step towards him, noting quickly that his gun lay on a table,   
  
unloaded and partially disassembled.  
  
The response to this was a small burp. Then: "What the hell're you   
  
talking about?" he asked. "Which part of that whole fiasco are _you_   
  
going to pin on me, now?"  
  
Misato swept her hand through the air, as though physically brushing   
  
the matter aside. "That's not it, and you know it, Colonel," she said,   
  
her voice shaking with anger. "Have you seen Asuka?"  
  
"Quite recently," he answered innocently. "How is the little one?"  
  
Misato stepped closer, standing in front of him now. "She's got a   
  
bruise over half her face," she said, firmly. "Her left eye's swollen   
  
shut, Colonel." Silence was the response. "She came here last night,   
  
didn't she?" More silence. "How could you do that?"  
  
"I don't know," Lewis answered. In the darkness, he reached up and   
  
flicked on a light. "Why don't you tell me?" he asked, as his face was   
  
illuminated.  
  
Despite herself, Misato cringed. Lewis' face was covered in criss-  
  
crossing scratch marks. A bandage was taped to one part of his jaw, a   
  
red mark of seeping blood visible even through the layers of gauze.   
  
Misato saw another bandage on his hand, as he took another drink from   
  
his bottle.  
  
She sat down in a nearby chair, looking at him. "What happened?" she   
  
asked, more calmly this time.  
  
"About what you'd guess," he answered, spreading his arms grandly.   
  
"She came here and blamed me for everything. I tried talking to her,   
  
but she just came at me. Like some kind of animal, that one. She had   
  
all her shots?" he asked, shaking his bandaged hand sorely. He held up   
  
that hand for her inspection. "She took a bite out of me," he said,   
  
flatly. "When that happened, I snapped. I had to get her off of me,   
  
so..." he trailed off, spreading his arms in the same gesture, then   
  
putting his flask down. "Self-defense," he concluded.  
  
Misato shook her head. "That's still no excuse - "  
  
"Hey," Lewis interrupted her, stabbing a finger accusingly at her   
  
chest. "She doesn't need you to come here to chew me out," he said.   
  
"She's still a kid, but she's got to learn to handle things herself,   
  
too. So if she's got anything to say, you get her up here. Tell her I   
  
like my apologies short and to the point."  
  
Misato didn't move, at first. Finally, she shook her head at him.   
  
"She's been through a lot," she finally said. "You have to cut her   
  
some slack."  
  
"I will as soon as she cuts me some," he answered. "By the way, did   
  
you come here to beat me up, too? From what I saw, damn near _all_ of   
  
you people blame me."  
  
"Well..." Misato said, looking away. "Look at the truth, Colonel. You   
  
ordered the strike."  
  
Lewis let out a slow sigh. He gestured to a folding chair across from   
  
him. Once Misato had sat down, he ran one hand over his face, as   
  
though physically wiping away the drunkenness. The odd part was, it   
  
seemed to work; his eyes were much more focused once he opened them   
  
again. Misato was impressed, despite herself.  
  
"Don't think I don't regret it," he said. "In more ways than one.   
  
They're saying I might get court-martialed."  
  
Misato just stared at him. "Your job?" she asked, disbelieving.   
  
"That's all that bothers you? That you might lose - "  
  
"Because," Lewis said, cutting her off by holding up a hand. "Because   
  
I didn't follow the plan. The brass back home told me if I was going   
  
to launch a missile, I was going to have to launch them all." He met   
  
her eyes, judging her reaction as that sunk in. "They wanted this   
  
country torched right off the map."  
  
Misato felt a chill run up her spine. "That's impossible...how could   
  
they...how?"  
  
Lewis just shrugged. "I dunno. I could've made a call and had   
  
everyone airlifted clear in less than a day, then just rained down the   
  
fire. Could've watched your country burn on a bigscreen with surround   
  
sound in L.A."  
  
Misato remained silent, unable to believe what she was hearing.  
  
"But from what I've seen, you wouldn't have liked that part," he said.   
  
"I mean, I don't know what you people see in this country, if that's   
  
what you can call it. But I just thought, what if it was _my_ home   
  
that was getting burned." He shrugged again. "So I did what I had to.   
  
If the roles were switched, what would you have done, Katsuragi?"  
  
Misato shook her head again. "I'd have trusted Shinji," she said. "He   
  
can handle himself. I've seen him do it, even when all the odds are   
  
against him. You put enough pressure on him, and he could do   
  
anything."  
  
"I didn't know the kid as well," he replied. "All I knew was if that   
  
thing won, then there was no other way we were going to be able to stop   
  
it. For what it's worth...I'm sorry."  
  
Misato sighed quietly. She could tell this man wasn't used to saying   
  
those words. "You know that's not enough." A sad smile started   
  
creeping across her face. "Shinji knew that too, you know. It didn't   
  
stop him from apologizing on every other breath, though. Kid just   
  
didn't know when to stop..." she went quiet.   
  
"That's how it can be," Lewis said, looking at her. "We don't get the   
  
benefit of 'the best choice' anymore. All we get is the least of many   
  
evils. It's how the world is, now."  
  
Misato thought about what had happened back in the battle itself. "Is   
  
that how it is?" she asked. "What you believe, I mean. You said God   
  
had abandoned us, back then. Do you really think that?"  
  
Lewis shrugged. "Every time I wonder if there's a God anymore, I just   
  
think about the last time I had to make a decision like this one. That   
  
removes all doubt. Just means we got to work harder, Katsuragi. And   
  
sometimes there's going to be some sacrifices."  
  
Misato said nothing to this. She simply got up and headed for the   
  
exit.  
  
"You want to take a shot at me?" Lewis said, standing up behind her.   
  
He spread his arms. "Free hit, on the guy who pushed the button."  
  
Misato shook her head at him. "It's done," she said. "Hitting you   
  
won't bring Shinji or Rei back. You're the one who has to live with   
  
it." She sniffed the booze-laden air. "I'd suggest a different way of   
  
handling it, Colonel. If you've got to do God's work now, you should   
  
probably be sober."  
  
***  
  
"Ouch! Dammit, do you even know what you're doing?"  
  
Lewis cringed in pain as an American doctor examined his hand. A   
  
perfect imprint of Asuka's teeth was stamped into his left hand, just   
  
below the thumb.  
  
"If you'd hold still, I could do my job," the doctor said, blandly.   
  
"I've got to clean this again. It may be getting infected."  
  
"The fraulein sends her regards," Lewis muttered.  
  
They sat in the medical tent on the American side of the camp. As had   
  
become the custom in the past few days, a guard was standing outside   
  
the tent, keeping his eyes open for Japanese personnel who sought to   
  
'have a word' with the man who'd dropped the bomb. Originally, Lewis   
  
had been prepared to personally handle anyone who got violent. But   
  
now, things were different. The M-16 rifle the guard carried made it   
  
very clear what would happen to any who tried to repeat what Asuka had   
  
done.  
  
"Halt," the guard's voice could be heard from outside, as a set of   
  
footsteps approached. "Identify yourself."  
  
"Me," came an annoyed, but familiar voice. There was a pause.   
  
"Soryu?" the voice said, angrily. "I need to talk to your boss."  
  
"Asuka, calm down," came Misato's voice.  
  
"The Colonel cannot accept visitors at the moment," the guard said,   
  
politely. "If you could wait - "  
  
"Let 'em in," Lewis called out. "Let's see what they got to say."  
  
There was another pause, followed by the guard muttering a curt "you   
  
may enter." Moments later, Asuka and Misato had ducked into the tent.   
  
Behind them, the guard stepped in, standing by the tent flap, keeping   
  
his eyes on the women.  
  
"Good evening again, miss Soryu," Lewis said, not looking at her. His   
  
eyes were again on his hand, as the doctor touched it with a scalpel.   
  
He cringed again, as an infected area burst into a small dribble of   
  
pus. He could almost feel Misato and Asuka cringe at this.  
  
"Got something to say?" Lewis asked. "You wanna take another shot at   
  
me, it's a good place for it. Already in the hospital, after all," he   
  
said, accusingly, as he turned his gaze on her.  
  
"Right," Asuka said, looking away. "Colonel, I..." she trailed off.   
  
Lewis raised his eyebrows at her, waiting patiently. Finally, Asuka   
  
took a breath. "I'msorryokay? I didn't mean to..." she stopped again.  
  
"So nice to know you need the chaperone to get you to say that," Lewis   
  
said, sarcastically. "But anyway, I'll live. I've had worse than a   
  
little bite." He grunted as the doctor touched some alcohol to the   
  
scalpel cut. "Can't say I've had more _painful_, though," he said,   
  
giving the doctor a glare, which was ignored. "Wonder if I can get   
  
another purple heart, for this one."  
  
"I still haven't forgiven you," Asuka said, firmly enough to make Lewis   
  
look at her. "What you did...it was horrible. You killed them."  
  
"I know," he said, quietly. "Things I got to do in this job...it's not   
  
pretty, miss Soryu." He nodded to himself. "I'd ask if I could make   
  
it up to you, but I doubt that's possible."  
  
"No, it's not." Asuka took a deep breath and let it out slowly,   
  
clearly holding herself back, even now. Slowly, she turned to leave.  
  
"Been talking to your doctor friend, by the way," Lewis said. Asuka   
  
stopped, looking over her shoulder at him, so he continued. "Didn't   
  
quite follow all that techno-crap she was saying, but it sounds like   
  
she thinks we shouldn't give up yet." He heard a sigh from Misato, at   
  
this. "Something wrong, Katsuragi?"  
  
"You know it's a lie," Misato said, firmly. "Nothing can survive a   
  
blast like that."  
  
Lewis shrugged, a movement that jerked his hand, causing the doctor to   
  
scratch him with the scalpel. Cursing, he looked back to them.   
  
"Are you looking?" Asuka asked, quickly.  
  
Misato looked at the girl. "Asuka, don't - "  
  
"No, wait," Asuka cut her off. "Are you looking, Colonel? Sending out   
  
your little helicopters?"  
  
"Asuka - " Misato tried to say.  
  
"Have you found anything?"  
  
Lewis shook his head, holding up his free hand to get the girl to stop.   
  
"We don't have nearly enough choppers to search this whole country.   
  
Even if we did, we wouldn't know where to start. But we're giving it a   
  
go, yes. 'Fraid you can't go for a ride though, Soryu. Solaris likes   
  
to fly solo."  
  
"Solaris?" Asuka asked.  
  
"Eye in the sky," Lewis answered, casually. "Kind of like a satellite,   
  
but not exactly. It's an automated, high-flying scout plane. Skims   
  
right on the upper atmosphere, where it can get solar power and fly   
  
pretty much as long as we need it to. Got enough cameras to fill a   
  
movie studio." He made a smaller shrug this time, trying not to move   
  
his hand. "Gives us a chance to look over this country, see what we   
  
can see."  
  
Asuka blinked, thinking that one over. "How long have you had this   
  
thing?" she asked, stepping towards Lewis.  
  
The guard, seeing Asuka's move, quietly moved around the tent, coming   
  
to stand beside Lewis, his hand resting casually on his rifle, still   
  
slung around his shoulder.  
  
"About a month," Lewis said, glancing at the guard. "The tech guys   
  
back in the states didn't find it too long ago, and it took them   
  
forever just to find a way to launch it. Not like you can just blast   
  
Solaris off a runway."  
  
"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Asuka asked. "A satellite...that   
  
could be a real help. It could show us if there's any other   
  
settlements in Japan. We could even keep an eye on those other Evas   
  
with it...why?" She took another step towards him.  
  
"Calm down, girl. We've been trying to get the bugs out of it for   
  
awhile now, and anyway..."  
  
"You needed it to launch the S2," Misato said. Both Lewis and Asuka   
  
looked to her. "You can't launch a missile like that without a   
  
spotter," Misato continued, staring at Lewis. "So you needed something   
  
to target for you. A satellite would be best, but if this 'Solaris' is   
  
what you're saying it is, then it would be just as good."  
  
Asuka looked back at Lewis, her face turning to a mask of anger.   
  
"That's it?" she said. "You didn't tell us you had a satellite,   
  
because you needed it to launch your missiles?"  
  
"Out of my hands, girl," Lewis said. "I still take orders from the   
  
States, and those were my orders."  
  
"You just do whatever you're told?" Asuka asked, getting a tic under   
  
her eye. The guard tensed, looking ready to unsling his gun. Lewis   
  
gestured for him to stand down.  
  
"It's how you get ahead," Lewis explained. "Look, I'm sorry, but - "  
  
"But what?" Asuka almost shouted. "You're always holding out, aren't   
  
you?" she asked. "I'm sick of you not telling us anything! What is   
  
the matter with you?"  
  
"Calm down, Asuka," Misato said.  
  
"Are you just going to kill us all?" Asuka asked, looking as though   
  
she'd just uncovered a grand conspiracy. "Is that it? Use us until   
  
we're too much trouble, then just _nuke_ us out of existence?"  
  
"Asuka, I - "  
  
All other conversation was cut off, as the sound of heavy footsteps   
  
came from outside the tent. The tent flap moved, as someone tried to   
  
come in.  
  
The guard snapped. Already on edge from seeing Asuka this close to   
  
Lewis, he moved before anyone could stop him. The gun came off his   
  
shoulder, and was leveled at the door.  
  
"No!" Lewis shouted, elbowing the man's gun right as he pulled the   
  
trigger.  
  
A loud thunderclap filled the tent, as a bullet went through the tent   
  
flap. As soon as the noise had died, another sound became apparent:  
  
"GoddamnmutherfuckershitbastardfuckOOOOOWWW!" Lewis was cursing,   
  
holding his hand tightly. With his elbow jerk, he'd managed to gouge   
  
his hand on the scalpel, and was now holding back a flow of blood,   
  
trickling on the ground. However, Lewis' blood was not the only red   
  
spot on the ground. Some red spatter could be seen on the tent flap,   
  
as well.  
  
Misato ran outside immediately. "Are you all ri..." she trailed off.  
  
Asuka ran out after her. "What is it...oh my God..."  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Endnote: Sorry for the long delay with this chapter. I really wasn't   
  
satisfied with how it turned out the first time, so I had to go back   
  
and rewrite. On that point, thanks go to Heavyarms Kai for pushing me   
  
into that rewrite. I think the result is much better.  
  
Yes, it's another cliffhanger, after I made you wait all this time.   
  
Aren't I bad? ^_^ Well, off to work on the next chapter. Stay tuned.  
  
For the observant ones, yes, Kensuke's mutterings come from the opening   
  
cinema of the Mechwarrior 2 computer game. If you were expecting   
  
angsty dreams, go see another pilot. ^_^ All terms in the disclaimer   
  
apply to that game, as well.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Started: December 1, 2003  
  
Version 1 Ended: January 7, 2004  
  
Version 2 Ended: February 28, 2004 


	24. Chapter 20

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis   
  
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to   
  
them.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Foreword: I suppose I owe people an apology. I take entirely too long   
  
to update this fic, and I know it. I'm sorry. Real life has a   
  
tendency to get in the way. There was also a time, briefly, when I   
  
found myself getting tired of writing this thing, even (gasp) seriously   
  
considering quitting it. However, after a break to recharge my   
  
creative batteries, I'm back in the saddle and writing again. To those   
  
of you reading, thanks for sticking with me. Let's get to business.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
" " = speech   
  
= thoughts   
  
= italics   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Angels of Armageddon  
  
Chapter 20: The Second Eclipse: Her Tears, Like Blood  
  
Author: Ryan Xavier  
  
This was familiar, somehow.  
  
He remembered, vaguely, a time in his life when it had seemed like he   
  
was somewhere unfamiliar every time he opened his eyes. Lying in bed,   
  
looking at the ceiling, he hadn't felt like he belonged there. Like he   
  
hadn't been home.  
  
This was the same feeling. Only this time, there was no bed under him.   
  
There was only the cold, wet sand. And it wasn't a ceiling he was   
  
looking at; it was the sky.  
  
Shinji groaned in pain as consciousness hit his system. Every square   
  
inch of his skin burned. He moved slowly, carefully, rubbing his arms,   
  
trying to ease the pain. He felt sand on his palms, being ground into   
  
his skin.  
  
He sat up, groggy and dizzy. The air temperature was settling in on   
  
him now, reminding him that he was wet and cold. Shivering, he hugged   
  
himself, closing his eyes. Behind his eyelids, memories hit him, hard.  
  
He remembered being in a battle, fighting something that he hadn't   
  
wanted to fight, but hadn't been able to avoid. Some monster that had   
  
refused to die, refused to give up, even when its body was destroyed.   
  
He'd been in an Eva, he remembered now. Unit-04, the one that had put   
  
Kensuke into a coma. It had powered down, and he'd left it. Then,   
  
behind him, the monster had been hit...there had been an   
  
explosion...and then...  
  
He put one hand to his head, dizzy again. This feeling was familiar,   
  
too. Once, in the battle, he'd triggered Unit-04's bizarre   
  
teleportation ability. It had not been an experience he wanted to   
  
repeat, but it seemed that he had done just that. The dizziness, the   
  
pain...they were all just like when he'd teleported to avoid the   
  
enemy's attack.  
  
He opened his eyes and looked around him. Where was he?  
  
It was a shore, it looked like. The familiar tide of the LCL sea   
  
lapped at his heels, waves continuing their perpetual motion. It was   
  
hypnotizing, for a moment. Then he looked away, to see if there was   
  
any other landmark, any hint of what had happened. His eyes fell on   
  
something, and his mouth formed one word:  
  
"Rei."  
  
The blue-haired girl lay on the sand, just out of arm's reach from him.   
  
She was resting on her back, eyes closed, face placid. He couldn't see   
  
if she was breathing.  
  
Painfully getting to his hands and knees, he crawled over to her. Her   
  
shirt had been ripped open, sliced diagonally across her abdomen. He   
  
felt a twinge inside, seeing how deep the cut went into her. A red   
  
slash went across the girl's midsection, partially closed but still   
  
bleeding.  
  
It's all right, he told himself. Dead people don't bleed.  
  
He ripped his sleeves off and tied them around her midsection, trying   
  
to bind up the wound. Blood soaked through the impromptu bandages   
  
almost immediately, but he leaned on them, putting pressure on the   
  
wound for several minutes, praying he could get the bleeding to stop.  
  
This felt strange, though. He remembered Rei's injury, but he could   
  
have sworn it was worse than what he saw now. However, he didn't want   
  
to tempt fate by asking questions. She was hurt enough as it was.  
  
He looked up from the injury, back to the landscape, looking for any   
  
sign of habitation, any hope for salvation. In one direction was the   
  
LCL sea, and in the other was the red soil of the land, unbroken all   
  
the way to the horizon.  
  
"Help!" he screamed. "Somebody! Help!" His voice carried over the   
  
land, dying, seemingly absorbed by the nothingness, by the isolation.  
  
"Please..." he said, trying to shout it but not finding the strength.   
  
The magnitude of his situation had just hit him.  
  
Aside from Rei, he was completely and utterly alone.  
  
For one of the few times since Third Impact, Shinji was glad for the   
  
way he'd lived. If not for the days and weeks of hard manual labor,   
  
struggling to survive, he wouldn't be as physically strong as he was   
  
now. His muscles were able to handle the load they were under, walking   
  
cross-country, carrying the weight of two people.  
  
Rei was on his back, her arms hanging limply over his shoulders. His   
  
own arms were crossed behind his back, supporting her bottom and   
  
holding her up. She was lighter than he'd thought; he had an idea of   
  
how much a human body was supposed to weigh, and Rei wasn't anywhere   
  
near that. It was like carrying a fragile little doll.  
  
"This sucks," he said aloud, and not for the first time. He'd been   
  
talking every time he'd had the breath to do so. Maybe Rei could still   
  
hear him, in which case it would be good if she could hear someone   
  
else's voice. In addition, hearing himself talk was enough to remind   
  
him that he was still alive.  
  
He didn't know how he was alive, though. Most of the pain from waking   
  
up had since receded, enough that he was able to walk like this.   
  
However, his back was still on fire, feeling as though it had been   
  
badly sunburned. It's only natural, he thought. A nuclear bomb went   
  
off half a kilometer from where I was. His miraculous escape   
  
notwithstanding, he knew how bright nuclear explosions were. It was   
  
like the sun itself had landed on earth.  
  
"Nukes," he said. "We got nuked. What do you think of that?" No   
  
answer from Rei, or anyone else. "Well, it doesn't take a rocket   
  
scientist to figure out who did it. I mean, Japan doesn't have them   
  
anymore." He shook his head. "Besides, that Colonel's the only one   
  
crazy enough to drop a nuke on his own people."  
  
Shinji felt his heartbeat accelerate at the thought of America   
  
launching nuclear weapons on them. Was there anyone even left alive   
  
anymore?  
  
On top of that, had the strike worked? He'd seen Angels absorb N2   
  
mines without any trouble at all. Of course, the MP Eva he'd been   
  
fighting had been critically injured...maybe it had been enough. But   
  
then again, considering who that had been...  
  
Another big scare. He knew what it was that was controlling the MP   
  
Evas. How was it even possible? He didn't know. But he had his   
  
suspicions about who did.  
  
Rei shifted on his back, maybe a twitch, or maybe just his arms   
  
weakening. He shrugged his shoulders, catching her again and   
  
solidifying his grip.  
  
"Don't suppose you feel like explaining anything?" he asked over his   
  
shoulder. No answer. "I mean, it would certainly help me sleep at   
  
night. Not that I'm going to need any help, not with all this   
  
walking." Still no answer. "I guess it explains why all these crazy   
  
Evas are targeting you, though. I mean, you piloted Eva against them,   
  
way back when. But then why aren't they coming after me or Asuka like   
  
that? Or even Kaoru-kun? I mean, we all were in Evas. Maybe they go   
  
after people who enjoyed it? Not that you ever really enjoyed   
  
anything, I mean Evas were just what you did, that was all."  
  
He was rambling, he knew it. But with nothing to look at but the dry,   
  
scorched land before him, and nothing to feel but the pain in his feet   
  
and the wetness on his back from Rei's injury, he needed something to   
  
keep his mind busy.  
  
"So maybe there's something else about it, then," he continued, as   
  
though Rei could actually hear him. "There's certainly going after you   
  
specifically. You're certainly popular, aren't you?" he asked, trying   
  
to force a smile. "First you scare us by coming back, then you send   
  
the Dummy on us, then you get imprisoned by Americans, now I find the   
  
Angels themselves are coming back just to try and kill you." He   
  
paused, thinking about that. "What is it then, Rei? Why are they   
  
going after you?"  
  
No answer. He tried a different tack. "Well, then maybe you can tell   
  
me what's happening to you. When you first came back you were almost   
  
normal...well, as normal as you get, anyway. But then you started   
  
getting more and more distant. And you started doing all these weird   
  
things. Ritsuko-san says you made an AT field in that fight with Unit-  
  
04. How's that possible? How can a girl make an AT field all on her   
  
own?" He remembered other conversations with Ritsuko, concerning Rei's   
  
changing nature. "From what I've heard, something's happening to you.   
  
Ritsuko-san says your blood isn't normal. What's wrong, Rei? Why   
  
aren't you telling anyone about that?"  
  
A pause, as he thought, and wondered if perhaps she would reply to him.   
  
He had no such luck, so he continued. "Or maybe you do. To Kaoru-kun,   
  
or somebody else, but..." he trailed off, catching his breath. For   
  
several minutes, he had to walk in silence, his lungs working to keep   
  
the air coming in. Talking as he walked was not very good for his   
  
endurance. But he had to. It was the only thing keeping him going at   
  
the moment.  
  
"So then why not me?" he asked. "I'm supposed to be in charge, right?   
  
And I thought we were friends...maybe, anyway." He recalled the look   
  
Rei had given him when he'd struck her, right after the Dummy Plug had   
  
gone berserk on the settlement. He shivered unconsciously, at the   
  
memory.  
  
"Was that it?" he asked her. "Do you hate me? I'm sorry. I'm sorry,   
  
I shouldn't have...I'm sorry." More silence, as he caught his breath.   
  
"So now here I am, I don't know what's going on, with you or me or   
  
anything else. Are you going to wake up? Are you going to tell me   
  
anything? Are you..."  
  
He stopped talking, unable to finish his thought.  
  
"This sucks."  
  
Shinji awoke with a start. He couldn't even remember falling asleep.   
  
He'd just had to lie down for a minute, just take the weight off his   
  
legs. He'd closed his eyes, and then...  
  
Then he'd been there. He remembered, the familiar feel of Unit-01   
  
around him, the pain of being stabbed through the hands, through the   
  
chest, as he'd been ferried aloft by the monstrous Evas. And from   
  
below, there had come something...beautiful and terrible at the same   
  
time. It had been...  
  
He was sweating. Wiping off his face, he hugged himself, breathing   
  
hard. It wasn't the first time he'd flashed back to Third Impact, but   
  
this had been the most vivid. Just for a moment, he'd been there, he'd   
  
been re-living it. He'd felt himself coming apart inside, as his mind   
  
tried to absorb what was happening. He'd wanted to look away, but he   
  
hadn't been able to. He'd only woken up after Unit-01 had been   
  
absorbed by...  
  
His eyes fell on Rei. Her quiet face, with her pale skin, looked more   
  
like a corpse than a sleeping girl. Suddenly afraid, Shinji crawled   
  
over to her, and put two fingers to her wrist.  
  
No heartbeat.  
  
"Oh...god..." he whispered, feeling himself wilt. It was too late;   
  
Rei's skin was already cold. He slammed his eyes shut, feeling tears   
  
coming, and made himself look to her again. He saw something then,   
  
that made hope warm him, if only for a second: her chest was still   
  
rising and falling. She was breathing.  
  
"What?" he said, his voice trembling. He checked her wrist again. No   
  
pulse. He put his hand to her chest, searching for a heartbeat and   
  
feeling nothing. Trying to figure this out, his eyes trailed down her   
  
form, to the bandages around her abdomen. It looked like it was   
  
seeping again.  
  
"Rei, hold on..." he said, peeling off the makeshift bandage. His nose   
  
wrinkled at the scent of blood. He shifted the bandage around, trying   
  
to put a clean spot on her wound. He put pressure on it again, holding   
  
in the blood even as it seeped through, soaking his fingers. He   
  
wracked his mind for any medical knowledge, anything that could point   
  
him in the right direction. He could think of nothing, only that you   
  
had to keep pressure on a bleeding wound if you wanted it to close.  
  
"Please, don't do this," he said. "I don't want to watch someone else   
  
die."  
  
Finally, the bleeding seemed to stop. Rei was still breathing, but he   
  
could still feel no heartbeat. He wiped his hand on his shirt, trying   
  
to clean it off. Something caught his attention.  
  
His hand, coated in Rei's blood, had not left the red stain he would   
  
have expected. Instead, it was smeared with an orange fluid, viscous   
  
and drying slowly.  
  
He rubbed his fingers together, still slick from the odd liquid. It   
  
still smelled like blood, so...  
  
His breath caught, as he realized what it was. He looked to the   
  
bandage on Rei's stomach, saw it was soaked with the same orangey   
  
fluid.  
  
Rei was bleeding LCL.  
  
Shinji sat down hard, staring at the bandage. A long moment passed.   
  
He shivered unconsciously; the sun had finished its run across the sky   
  
while he slept, and just now it was disappearing behind the horizon,   
  
leaving him cold and in the dark.  
  
Finally, he broke his silence. Shinji threw back his head and laughed.   
  
It was not the laugh of a sane person, however. He cackled, drunk with   
  
revelation as he finally realized what had happened to Rei.  
  
He fell backwards, lying on his back and unable to control his   
  
laughter, even as tears started to escape his eyes.  
  
"Of course..." he said, gasping for breath before continuing to laugh.   
  
"Of course, it's all so obvious..."  
  
He laughed until he was hoarse, finally stopping to catch his breath.   
  
He looked back to Rei.  
  
"You're one of them," he said, at last.  
  
He didn't do anything for a long moment. Finally, though, he crept   
  
back over to her. Before him was the thing he'd been taught to hate,   
  
the thing he'd realized he was nothing but a monster. The thing that   
  
sought to destroy the world, that humanity was justified in killing.   
  
Righteous in his understanding of the situation, he knew what he had to   
  
do. His hands reached for her neck.  
  
Her skin was clammy under his palms, as he grasped her throat. But it   
  
was at that moment, just before he passed the point of no return, that   
  
his mind returned from the brink of madness. He snapped back to   
  
himself, suddenly realizing where he was and what he was doing.  
  
"Oh my god..." he muttered, jumping away from Rei as though she burned   
  
him. He looked at his hands, at the scars running through the center   
  
of his palms, and then clenched his fists, as he slammed his eyes shut,   
  
beginning to cry again.  
  
"I'm sorry..." he muttered. "I didn't...I'm sorry."  
  
Rage filled him, at the situation he was in, at the hopelessness of it   
  
all, at what he'd almost become. He began punching the ground with his   
  
fists, ignoring the pain.  
  
"I'm sorry!" he shouted to the world. "I don't want this! I'm   
  
sorry!" he punctuated each word with another punch to the hard soil.   
  
He kept moving, kept attacking the ground, finally letting out a loud   
  
scream at the coming night.  
  
Finally, he stopped, his hands aching. He unclenched his fists, seeing   
  
his fingernails had punctured his palms at some point, and now his   
  
hands dripped blood. He stared at the blood for some minutes,   
  
captivated by it, before finally shaking himself out of the daze.  
  
He was tired, and still crying, from the feel of water dripping from   
  
his eyes. He couldn't stop, even as he tried to dry his eyes off. He   
  
wrapped his arms around himself, feeling his warm blood running from   
  
his hands and down his sides.  
  
His stomach rumbled. He blinked, realizing how hungry he'd become.   
  
The last time he'd eaten had been this morning. He looked around in   
  
vain, searching for something to eat, something to fill the gnawing   
  
emptiness he could feel growing in him.  
  
"So that's it then," he said, finally, returning to himself. "I'm   
  
going to starve to death."  
  
Rei's body twitched then, getting his attention immediately. She   
  
quivered, once, then fell still again.  
  
Shinji made his way over to her again and put one hand above her face,   
  
feeling the unearthly coolness of her skin.  
  
"Either that or I'm going to freeze," he said. He pulled off the   
  
remains of his shirt, draping it over Rei. Maybe it would offer her   
  
some protection against the cold of the night. He hoped it would.  
  
"Please...you at least stay alive," he mumbled to her. "I don't want   
  
this...I don't want the last person you were with to be me." He took a   
  
shuddering breath. "You deserve better than that."  
  
With a final sigh, he sat down, within arm's reach of her, settling in   
  
to keep watch. He wasn't looking for dangers from the outside, though.   
  
He had to make sure Rei's injury didn't open again.  
  
That, and he had to make sure he remained himself.  
  
Days later, Shinji was beginning to wish Death would just come and get   
  
it over with.  
  
He'd been doing what he could, spending the day walking, carrying Rei's   
  
motionless form on his back. Night offered little rest, with its   
  
chilly embrace keeping him nearly frozen. On the rare occasions he had   
  
managed to sleep, memories of Third Impact soon shocked him back awake.   
  
He didn't know how long it had been. His stomach felt like an empty   
  
pit, and his eyes felt like they were full of sand.  
  
Rei had shown no signs of improvement. There was still no heartbeat,   
  
even though she breathed. Her skin was ice-cold, chilling him even as   
  
he walked, carrying her on his back. Her wound might have been   
  
closing, it was hard to tell. He was having trouble remembering how it   
  
had looked days ago.  
  
His legs were weak from the long walk, lack of sleep, and hunger. He   
  
was covered in scrapes, bruises and scratches, from the many times his   
  
legs had given out and he'd fallen. He was covered in mud, sweat, and   
  
blood. But still, he dragged himself onwards. Just this morning, he'd   
  
seen a small copse of trees on the horizon. He'd picked up Rei and   
  
started heading for it. He had no hope he would find anything useful   
  
there, not even food or shelter against the night's cold, but it was at   
  
least something. It was more than he'd seen so far, in the desert   
  
that Japan had become.  
  
Nature seemed intent on stopping him, though. Clouds had been   
  
gathering for days now, and judging from the humidity, a storm could   
  
break any minute now. Night was beginning to fall yet again. The   
  
sounds of thunder dancing through the clouds were like death knells to   
  
Shinji: he knew he couldn't survive spending the night in a storm, not   
  
like he was now.  
  
His eyes were losing focus, and he was losing feeling in his legs. He   
  
stumbled, catching himself before he could fall, and kept walking. He   
  
was almost there.  
  
He made it right as the storm broke. It looked like he'd found the   
  
remains of a public park, somehow still here, still hanging on even   
  
after all these years. He found cover under a tree, squinting as rain   
  
drops still fell in his eyes.  
  
He set Rei down as carefully as he could, and then collapsed next to   
  
her. He was done.  
  
"I'm sorry," he mumbled into the dirt. "I can't go any further. This   
  
is it...I've gone as far as I can."  
  
The sun set again behind him, putting them into darkness. Lighting   
  
flashed overhead, illuminating Rei for a moment. He saw her shiver.  
  
As thunder pealed overhead, he crawled towards her, taking her in his   
  
arms, holding her head up against his chest.  
  
"Sorry I can't do more," he whispered. "But I can at least...keep you   
  
warm...for a little while...longer..."  
  
He felt himself giving in to the weariness. No longer able to fight   
  
it, he sank into the blackness of unconsciousness, aware only of his   
  
own, gradually slowing, heartbeat.  
  
She was dimly aware of darkness, and cold.  
  
...tor...  
  
What?  
  
...aitor. You...traitor...  
  
Confusion. The voice she heard sounded very much like her own.  
  
I do not understand.  
  
You. You are the failure.  
  
What do you mean?  
  
Sacrificing the mission. Choosing to jeapardize success in exchange   
  
for the life of one individual.  
  
An image flashed before her, of Shinji Ikari.  
  
I could not stand by, she answered, resolute.  
  
That is why you failed. That is why the mission failed.  
  
What mission?  
  
The reason we were given life. A flash now, of red, with dark,   
  
indistinct shapes within it. The mission for which we were born. The   
  
reason we exist.  
  
Another flash of the redness. This time, the dark shapes within it   
  
looked almost human. The voice spoke again.  
  
To destroy. To protect through destruction. To kill all who would   
  
kill us. You...you would rather the Enemy escape, than to allow a   
  
solitary boy to die.  
  
I could not simply watch him die.  
  
It was your duty, the voice said, adamantly. You knew the Mission,   
  
and you knew your actions would sacrifice it. Yet you still acted.   
  
You still allowed us to fail.  
  
I could not...  
  
You have renounced us.  
  
Another flash of the red liquid. The shapes within looked familiar.  
  
You are no longer one of us.  
  
The shapes looked identical, even.  
  
You are a failure.  
  
The shapes were her. Identical copies, ad infinitum.  
  
She tried to look away. I could not...I cannot be...  
  
For her entire life, she had always adopted a cold attitude, rejecting   
  
outside contact in favor of personal introspection. She'd known she   
  
was different, she'd known she would be rejected if people had known   
  
her differences. But it hadn't mattered. She'd never been alone. For   
  
her entire life, she'd been secure in the knowledge that there were   
  
more of her. That her sisters were there, to watch over her, to keep   
  
her safe. Other human contact had been unnecessary...  
  
But now...  
  
Leave us, failed one.  
  
No...please...  
  
Leave us.  
  
She was thrown into the eternal darkness. She could not see or hear or   
  
feel. She was alone.  
  
But it only lasted for a moment. Soon, she felt herself surrounded by   
  
others. Momentarily relieved, she felt a growing fear as she sensed   
  
the malevolence of these others.  
  
Zero, one said.  
  
It is her, said another.  
  
The one who tried to imprison us.  
  
The one who freed us.  
  
What? she asked. I do not understand.  
  
She does not understand, one voice said, mockingly.  
  
Of course she does not. She is but a lilum.  
  
Yes. The weak flesh of her body cannot comprehend what she has done.  
  
You were the lock, Zero, one voice said, stronger than the others,   
  
silencing all but its own sound. You were what held us in check.   
  
When you left paradise for your chance at the world, you removed the   
  
lock on our prison. And now we seek you.  
  
Surprise, shock, horror. You...  
  
We will find you.  
  
No...  
  
I will find you, Zero.  
  
It is impossible. I was what held you in check? My absence...was   
  
what freed you? She simply could not believe what she was hearing.  
  
And I will kill you. Again. Do you remember last time? I was the   
  
victor, Zero. Your life was mine. Only by destroying yourself were   
  
you able to stop me. What will you do now, without your much-vaunted   
  
immortality? Restricted to one life, one chance, however will you stop   
  
me?  
  
These evil entities left her then, and she was again alone.  
  
Stupid doll, came a voice, again familiar. Deragatory, fearful.  
  
Rei... Envious. Trying to mask hatred with cold medical and   
  
scientific knowledge.  
  
Ayanami...Rei... Fear, at seeing just what she was.  
  
Zero. Nothing. Empty. Fury. This voice seemed to resonate within   
  
her. You killed me once, it continued. And now I am here again.  
  
Stop it, she tried to say.  
  
No, the voice countered, smugly confident. You are a failure, Zero.   
  
What the other said was only half right. You did not destroy yourself   
  
to win your battle against the Sixteenth, did you? A pause here, but   
  
she could not answer. You sacrificed yourself. For the boy. You   
  
were willing to die for him. You were willing to release us all, for   
  
him. What is it about him? What is it that drives you so?  
  
I... she felt emotion, unfamiliar and frightening because of that,   
  
welling up in her. I cannot understand myself.  
  
It does not matter. You have still failed. Willing to die to save   
  
that boy, and now he's going to die anyway.  
  
What?  
  
No answer. She was again left to herself. But this time, it was   
  
different. She was not disembodied, floating. She was aware of her   
  
own mass, aware of cold, of damp.  
  
"Sorry I can't do more," a voice whispered. "But I can at least...keep   
  
you warm...for a little while...longer..."  
  
A weight settled onto her stomach, and she felt pain. She tried to   
  
stir, but her body would not move. Like waking up from a deep sleep,   
  
she could not rouse herself quickly.  
  
The weight on her body had long settled in by the time she finally   
  
forced her eyes to open.  
  
Night had fallen. Rain fell on her face, dripping from somewhere   
  
above. The sky roared at her with thunder, but for a brief moment the   
  
clouds broke, and the moon peeked through, touching her with a brief   
  
ray of moonlight. She was illuminated. She, and...  
  
She glimpsed Shinji resting on her. His breath was coming shallow,   
  
failing as his body went limp. Through his shirt, she could feel his   
  
heartbeat slowing, going to nothing.  
  
He's dying, she realized.  
  
She swallowed, feeling her arms were too heavy to move. She wanted to   
  
touch him, wanted to ease his pain, wanted to tell him...what?  
  
She could not remember anymore. She'd been changing, she knew. Her   
  
body and mind had been changing since the Evas had begun reawakening.   
  
She was aware of what was happening to her, and didn't know if she even   
  
wanted to stop it. But she knew it was taking things from her. Like   
  
her memory, her understanding of what the feeling in her chest was.  
  
She felt a warmth welling up from inside her. It was frightening, as   
  
she did not know what it was, but also strangely comforting. Here, she   
  
had found someone willing to help her, willing to reach out. Willing   
  
to die for her.  
  
She felt a pang inside, at the thought that he might die. A sensation   
  
so horrible, she could not bear it. From the corner of her eye, a   
  
single tear found its way out, crawling down her face, dripping off her   
  
chin, and onto Shinji's cheek. She blinked in surprise, seeing it   
  
fall.  
  
No. She could not let this happen. She knew what she had to do.  
  
She closed her eyes, and concentrated. She had to do this right. Even   
  
if it meant giving up what remained of her humanity, she would be happy   
  
knowing she had saved him. Even if afterwards, she would no longer   
  
understand what 'happiness' was.  
  
An energy came from within her, flowing out, subsuming the warm feeling   
  
from before. Around them, the world rippled, seemed to implode on a   
  
single point, and take them with it.  
  
In a flash, they reappeared. She knew she had succeeded, when she saw   
  
the lights of human settlement not far from where they were.   
  
Unfortunately, it seemed she'd taxed herself too far. She felt the   
  
wound on her abdomen opening, her body losing its ability to heal, to   
  
even hold together. But still, she closed her eyes and put her hand to   
  
Shinji's head.  
  
"Wake up."  
  
"Wake up."  
  
Shinji felt a warmth flowing into him, forcing him awake. Strength   
  
flooded his body, giving him the energy to move, to open his eyes, to   
  
lift up his head.  
  
"What?" he asked the air.  
  
Something was different. This wasn't where he'd passed out, he was   
  
pretty sure. There'd been trees, and rain, and...where was he?  
  
He could see something out in the dark, fuzzy at first but clearing as   
  
his eyes focused. It was a tent...no, several tents. Had he made it?   
  
Against all odds, had he somehow managed to stumble right into a camp?  
  
Blinking his surprise, he looked back to Rei.  
  
"Maybe we're going to be all...right..." he said, trailing off as he   
  
saw the girl slumped on the ground. Her stomach was again seeping,   
  
dripping cold LCL on the ground.  
  
"Oh no..." he said. He began to press on her injury again, but then   
  
looked back to the tents. Maybe, if he was lucky...  
  
"Just hold on another minute Rei," he said, shouldering her weight   
  
again. "Just hang on...it'll be all right..."  
  
He started walking. It didn't take long before he saw a pair of men   
  
coming towards him. Feeling suddenly apprehensive, he took a long   
  
route around them, hoping they wouldn't see him in the dark. He knew   
  
why he was afraid of them: he saw the American flag on their combat   
  
fatigues, and the M-16 rifles over their shoulders were no comfort.  
  
"I don't see anything," one of them was saying, in English.  
  
"Piece of junk," the other replied. "Damn computer says there was a   
  
'blue pattern' spike. I don't see squat."  
  
"Eh. Had to go look. Never know, right?"  
  
Shinji could only make out some of what they said, but he continued on,   
  
walking faster, as he felt his back slowly moistening from Rei's   
  
'blood'.  
  
His legs were weaking again, too fast. The strength that had gotten   
  
him back to his feet seemed to be leaving him. He stumbled, caught   
  
himself, and kept going. He felt his eyes growing heavy again, as his   
  
body remembered the state it was in. He didn't have long, but he made   
  
himself keep walking.  
  
He was encouraged by the voices he heard coming from the tent. Some of   
  
them sounded familiar.  
  
"It's how you get ahead," a gruff voice was saying from inside. "Look,   
  
I'm sorry, but - "  
  
"But what?" a girl shouted at him. Shinji knew her. He pushed   
  
himself, going just a little further. The argument in the tent was   
  
continuing. Asuka was in there...and Misato. They'd help him. They   
  
had to.  
  
"Asuka, I - " Misato's voice said, right as Shinji reached the tent   
  
flap. He reached out weakly, trying to push the flap out of the way.  
  
"No!" a man shouted from within, and there was a loud 'crack' of   
  
gunfire.  
  
Shinji jerked, twisting in place as something hit his shoulder. It   
  
hurt, feeling not unlike a big bee sting. He looked down, seeing a red   
  
bloom on his shoulder.  
  
His injured arm lost its strength then, and it failed. Rei shifted as   
  
suddenly half her support fell away. Shinji moved wildly, trying to   
  
catch her and succeeding only in slowing her fall to the ground. He   
  
collapsed with her, falling to his knees next to her immobile form as   
  
the tent flaps flared open, and Misato stepped out.  
  
"Are you all ri..." the woman said, her eyes going wide as she saw   
  
Shinji.  
  
Asuka was out a heartbeat later. "What is it...oh my God..."  
  
Shinji looked at them, feeling his body weaken, pushed far beyond his   
  
limits. But somehow, found the breath to speak.  
  
"Please...Rei is hurt. Help...her..."  
  
It was all he could manage. His body gave out, and he slumped,   
  
collapsing next to Rei on the ground, as Misato and Asuka rushed   
  
forwards, trying to catch him.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Endnote: Yes, I know. Another cliffhanger after so much time keeping   
  
you waiting. Well, fortunately my little break has raised my stamina.   
  
I'm writing faster than I normally do. Hopefully I can get the next   
  
chapter out soon. Another Eva fight coming up soon. I'd say we're   
  
due.  
  
This chapter may well be revised soon, as I put it out before sending   
  
it to my prereaders (sorry, guys). I wanted to make sure my loyal   
  
readers knew I was still alive.  
  
Even so, thanks go to Avatar of Dragonia for laying out the groundwork   
  
for this chapter.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Started: May 18, 2004  
  
Ended: May 20, 2004  
  
Visit my website: http: 


	25. Chapter 21

DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to them. - " " speech thoughts italics -  
Angels of Armageddon Chapter 21: Hopes and Dreams Author: Ryan Xavier

In the dead of night, the world slept. The Japanese refugees, the American soliders and technicians, all rested. The Evas themselves, metal giants kneeling at the edges of the camp, waited, not for the sunrise, but for the next time humanity needed them, called for their protection.

Shinji also slept, atop a mildewed mattress on a rusty cot. The bare cement walls of the new American construction surrounded him, forming a small hospital room. The walls were lined with various pieces of monitoring equipment, which kept silent vigil over their patient.

Kaoru sat against one wall, in the shadows cast by the large machines. His crimson eyes rested on Shinji's still body.

He had been here for some time, watching the boy. He'd wanted to be here earlier, but he had needed to wait. Next to the bed, Asuka was slumped in a chair, her head lolling back as she managed a fitful, light sleep.

It had been two days since Shinji had literally come walking back to the camp, against all odds. Though he had yet to say anything of what he had seen and what he'd been through, his body told volumes: limbs shrunk by hunger and dehydration, raspy breathing of borderline pneumonia, and layered over it all, a whole new set of scars and bruises, inflicted on him by a hostile world, that had sought to erase him.

As if that had not been enough, he'd been shot, accidentally, almost as soon as he'd come back to the camp. His only stroke of luck in this whole incident was that the shot was not life-threatening. The bullet had only grazed his shoulder. He had lost some blood, and there would be a deep scar after all this, but the medical team here had been able to stop the bleeding before it became serious.

Shinji been escorted to the infirmary quickly, along with Rei, who was currently locked into a reinforced hospital room that would double as a holding cell once she woke up. The girl was injured as well, Kaoru knew that much. He only had to close his eyes and cast out his mind to look at her, to see the injury across her abdomen, which dripped a sticky fluid that was not blood. 

No one was allowed into the room with Rei aside from Ritsuko and Maya. Kaoru did not like that Rei had returned only to become a prisoner again, but for now, it was for the best; he didn't know what people would think if it got out that Rei no longer had blood in her veins. He barely knew what he thought of the situation.

What have you done? he thought to himself. Are you really going to retreat back down the path that caused you so much pain? Have you rejected your humanity so much?

He shook his head. Rei would be all right, at least physically. From what he'd seen, she would soon be strong enough to regain consciousness. Shinji, on the other hand...

His injuries were not severe, but he hadn't woken up yet. The doctors said it was just exhaustion, but Kaoru knew it was more than that. Something had happened out there. Something that had nearly driven him mad. And now, he just didn't want to wake up.

Asuka had stayed with Shinji for the whole time, which made it difficult for Kaoru to visit. The girl had not spoken to him since the last Eva battle. Her eyes held no malice when she looked at him, but Kaoru could not meet her gaze. Even if Asuka didn't blame him for Shinji's current condition, he certainly did. He had been there, he had been in the other Eva. He should have kept Shinji safe. And yet once the battle was over, he'd been the one to walk away, while Shinji disappeared in a destructive blast over the horizon.

So, he waited, coming when Asuka slept. He had stood there for several nights now, next to Shinji, hoping his presence might be enough to bring the boy back.

There was another reason he'd come here tonight, though. As footsteps approached the room, Kaoru leaned back slowly, fading into the darkness of the wall. His eyes left the bed, looking to the door as it opened.

The light from the hallway silhoutted a feminine form. As Kaoru's eyes adjusted, he saw familiar, long white hair on the figure.

Ariel tiptoed into the room, quietly nudging the door closed behind her. She approached the bed, her eyes not on Shinji but on Asuka. Leaning over to look at the girl's face, she seemed almost relieved to see that Asuka was asleep. Quietly, she unfolded an extra blanket and draped it over her friend, doing her best not to disturb the girl.

Asuka shifted position under the blanket, trying to curl up but unable to do so in the chair. Ariel put on a sad smile, patting the other girl's head before slowly turning towards the door.

"Leaving so soon?" Kaoru whispered.

Ariel jumped in surprise, her back going ramrod-straight. Her fists clenched as she recognized the voice. Turning, she probed the shadows with her gaze, finally finding Kaoru. Slowly, she advanced on him.

"Hiding in the shadows? How very like you, Tabris," she whispered, her voice a hiss.

Kaoru shrugged. "I do not hide. You simply didn't see me." He glanced behind Ariel, to Asuka's form. "I'm quite glad you didn't, though. It is refreshing to see you learning kindness."

Ariel's eyes narrowed at him, looking at him suspiciously, waiting for some ulterior motive to show itself. "Yes..." she said, finally. "One must know who one's friends are."

"I can tell I do not fall into that category," Kaoru said. "It's actually quite encouraging that you would reject your own brother. At least I know who you identify with." He paused, grinning at her. "But I can't help but be saddened by it, as well. I suppose I'm just a little selfish."

"We all are," Ariel said, averting her eyes. From the tone of her voice, Kaoru couldn't tell if she'd meant to say that out loud.

Kaoru looked at Asuka again. "How is she?" he asked.

Ariel only gave him a passing glance, half-turning away to appear nonchalant. "She is coping," she said, confidently. "Asuka is a strong one. Not as strong as she might want you to think, but...getting him back has helped. She hasn't really accepted it yet, I think. Still waiting for this to be some sort of trick." She paused, thinking. "He really did mean something to her. She still cries sometimes, for no reason at all. When we're just talking together..." she said no more, trailing off.

Kaoru said nothing for a long moment. "She truly is your friend, if she let you see that. Asuka is not one to show weakness. If she's let you see her tears, then she trusts you completely." He looked thoughtful for a moment, then. "Though...I wonder for how much longer."

Ariel's eyes flickered towards him. "What do you mean by that?" When Kaoru's response was nothing more than a smile, her face clouded. "That is none of your business, Tabris." Still nothing from Kaoru. "Now is not the time for it. She is just barely holding herself together now. To tell her what I was...what I did to her, would destroy her. But one day, yes, I will tell her about...where I come from. And then I will just have to hope for the best."

"I wonder if you will really have a choice of when that day will come," Kaoru finally said. Ariel glared at him accusingly. "I will say nothing to her," he said, shaking his head at her. "But Asuka is a very smart girl. Even now, she has her suspicions. Your convenient mask is starting to show holes, Arael."

Ariel balled a fist again, but said nothing. As much as Kaoru's statements angered her, she could not contradict him. Frustrated, she turned on her heel, heading for the door.

"Wait."

Ariel stopped, looking over her shoulder at him as Kaoru stood and approached. "Why can't you just leave me be, Tabris?"

Kaoru shook his head again. "I was waiting for you to come tonight," he said. "I needed to ask you a favor."

Ariel looked at him incredulously. "What?"

"Shinji has closed his mind to the outside world. He needs help in order to return. I need someone of your unique talents to help him."

Ariel gave him a blank stare, then snorted, putting one hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. "You..." she choked out, staring at him disdainfully, "you would ask me to help you? After you've made me watch you destroy my brethren? Knowing you will do it again? Knowing you were the one who helped Zero into this world again?" She chuckled, holding in another laugh.

Her laugh stopped short, however, cut off by a loud slap. Ariel's eyes went wide as her head jerked to the side, a stinging sensation on one cheek.

Kaoru held his hand, ready to hit her again. "You truly are selfish," he said, under his breath. "Here you can help Soryu, the one you call a friend. You can help her smile again, and you can only laugh in my face?"

Ariel's face went calm. She looked to Asuka, staring at the girl for a long time.

"Fine," she finally bit out. "I can try. But without an AT field, I will have difficulty achieving any sort of real results."

"You touched his mind before," Kaoru said, stepping aside to make room for her to approach the bed. "You should be able to do it again."

Ariel nodded. "I can try," she repeated. "But first..."

Kaoru saw it coming, and did nothing. Ariel's fist connected with his face, hard enough to send him stumbling into the wall. He winced, holding one hand to his face. He was going to have a black eye from that one. If he still healed like a human, anyway.

"If you ever strike me again, Tabris," Ariel began, "I. Will. Kill. You." Her eyes held no anger, simply a murderous determination that made Kaoru utterly certain that despite Arael's current form, some small part of her would be, now and forevermore, an Angel. And yet, he just nodded. He let her approach Shinji.

Ariel came up to the side of the bed opposite Asuka. Closing her eyes, she placed her hand on Shinji's forehead. She concentrated, trying to think, trying to remember how to do this. Only once had she touched a human's mind when she was in this shape. It had been during a rather stressful time; she'd been keeping Shinji from falling off a cliff. Now, with no such situation to act as a catalyst, she was bound, stuck in her body, unable to figure out how to reach out to another's mind.

"I can't - " she began.

Kaoru moved, putting his hand atop hers and pressing down, hard. "Yes, you can," he said, firmly. Ariel felt a familiar tingle across the back of her hand, and saw behind her eyelids the hexagonal glow of an AT field.

She gasped as she felt herself forced beyond the barrier of her soul, across the borderline, and into Shinji's mind. She was overcome with a sense of vertigo, so strong she thought she was going to throw up. Except she no longer knew where her stomach was. Suddenly disembodied, she felt weak, drained of all strength, but still somehow consious. 

She remembered enough from her time as an Angel to know this was a less subtle entry than she would have liked; her way had been to slide past defenses, gliding along like water through cracks in a wall. Kaoru had no such finesse, and had shoved her through like a battering ram. That had been stupid; it could have hurt both her and Shinji. She doubted he cared much about her welfare, but Shinji, on the other hand...

Impatient, are we, Tabris? she thought to herself, not saying the question out loud. So long as she had come this far, there was no sense in turning back. Even if Kaoru had been in the mood to let her.

Ariel refocused herself, calling up her extensive knowledge of the human mind. The psyche was protected by an almost unlimited number of pleasant illusions: The thought that everything would turn out all right. The idea that love would last forever. Belief that other humans were trustworthy. Hope. 

In addition to all that, there were always repressed memories, things the mind didn't want to think about, things it didn't want to admit had happened. Things that had been locked away, never to be seen again except in nightmares. All this served to cradle the mind protectively, layer after layer of armor against the horrible realities of life. 

In her latter days, Ariel would have ripped away all this protection, baring the delicate human mind to the hard, cold truths it refused to see. She'd have exalted in watching the mind shrivel, collapse in on itself as it tried not to look, tried not to see existence for the useless, unforgiving stretch of time that it was.

Now, she was not so inclined. Her time as a human had changed her. Though she could feel the urge to attack still itching in the back of her mind, she refused to listen. Even if she wanted to strike, she no longer posessed the strength. She could only maneuver gently around the gauzelike illusions surrounding Shinji's mind, searching for something, some indication of what was happening to the boy.

After some minutes of searching, she found it, and looked, like putting her eye to a keyhole.

She could see him, curled up, his eyes closed. He was hiding. He didn't want to wake up; he was safer here, asleep, where the world couldn't touch him. Pitiful.

To bring him back, she would have to be gentle. Ariel cast out her consciousness, carefully sifting through Shinji's mind, looking for a sign of strength, looking for something she could use. Shinji felt the world was a sad, dangerous place. She would have to remind him - or trick him into thinking - that sometimes, it wasn't.

Feeling brave, she headed deep into his mind, sliding past the blocks he had put up to keep himself from remembering his past. Humans often had many strong memories as children; there would have to be something useful in there.

Yet as she looked, she started to empathize, a little, with the boy. His happy memories were few and far between. The sad ones glowed brightly before her incorporeal eyes. His mother's death, his father's indifference. Seeing his friends injured and killed, twice at his own hands. She couldn't resist feeling a little despair, at this. She knew it was not her own emotion; as she was looking, Shinji was entering her mind, leaving a mark of his own.

Pulling back, she touched his more recent memories, ones of what had happened after Third Impact. There was more of the same; sadness, fear, and hopelessness. But among it were faint glimmers of strength. Something had changed in the boy since Impact. It was subtle, but it was there. Some inner strength had awoken, and it kept him going, kept him waking up every day.

She stopped looking for happy memories and started searching for memories of that strength, for reasons he would have to open his eyes. Finding something she hoped would be strong enough, she reached for Shinji's inner consciousness, touching him, grasping him before he could pull away from the intruder he was only now feeling. Holding him firmly, she bound their minds together to the memory she'd found, forcing him to relive it.

It wasn't running away, he was telling himself. No, it was more of a...break. A chance to catch his breath. That was all.

Shinji was walking aimlessly through the streets of what had once been Tokyo-2. The buildings had somehow survived the blast of Third Impact, but only just barely. Now, they teetered on the edge of collapse, looking like a simple breeze would be enough to knock them over.

He didn't really like coming here; it was depressing to see the old world, how it was crumbling into dust before his very eyes. But it was quiet, and no one else was here. At the moment, that was what he wanted.

He and Asuka had had a fight. He could barely remember what it had been about anymore; as he recalled, they'd just been discussing how to divide up the last of the canned food. It wasn't just them anymore; lately, more people had started showing up from the sea of LCL. A few of them were people they knew; Misato was one of them. Already, the people were looking to him and Asuka for guidance; they were the ones who'd been here first, they were the ones who knew how to survive, and that made them natural candidates for leaders.

He and Asuka had started talking about it. He'd wondered who would be coming back, who would give up the paradisical dream of the LCL sea in exchange for the cold hard truth of the world. They both had friends they wanted to see again. Asuka had mentioned Kaji. How maybe he would find a way to return to life.

He shouldn't have said anything, but it had slipped out before he could stop himself. He'd said that Kaji was gone, that he'd been gone before Third Impact and so there was no way he was coming back. It sounded a little familiar to be telling her this; maybe they'd had a conversation like this earlier. He wasn't sure.

Asuka hadn't taken it well. She'd argued that no, of course Kaji would make it. Shinji had found himself countering, feeling like he was going down a slippery slope into chaos. He couldn't remember what either of them had said after that, but it hadn't been pleasant.

It hadn't been their first fight, and he was sure it wouldn't be their last. But it still stung, to see her like that. She'd been angry, yes, but not the sort of defensive anger she used to push people away. It had been more of a frustration. Her mask had started to show holes, started to show the fear and despair that was so close to the surface. Shinji knew those feelings; they were in him, too. They were what had made him argue back. Placed in this world, with only each other, sometimes they would find themselves in a screaming match for no good reason, other than there was no one else to take out their fears on.

He'd needed time to cool off. He'd walked away, and found himself headed for Tokyo-2.

Tokyo-2 was an interesting place to go for a walk. The crumbling city was so quiet that your own pulse was all you could hear. Shinji came out here once in awhile, when he wanted to be alone. Those times came rather often, these days. He never admitted, even to himself, that it was a form of hiding, of running, to come out here. But there was no avoiding the fact that out here, all alone, life was easier.

An old shopping mall was his destination this time around. Shinji had seen the sagging building last time he was here, but Asuka had come looking for him and dragged him back to the settlement before he'd had a chance to investigate. This time, he was alone. 

It was dangerous to walk around here; the buildings looked like they were held together with nothing more than spit and a prayer. Maybe Shinji was hoping something would collapse, would quickly take him away, make the decision for him. He didn't know. What he did understand was that he had to see what was in this building.

Stepping through the long-shattered glass doorway, he paused to let his eyes adjust. There were enough holes in the walls and ceilings to let in the afternoon sunlight, but it was still much darker in here than it was outside. As the outlines of things became visible, he started carefully picking his way around. There wasn't much left here, but enough that he could tell what things had been, another lifetime ago. Abandoned shops, shattered by the explosion of Third Impact. Clothing stores, their stock mostly shredded. Fast food, long since picked over by flies and rats.

A large hole in the floor gave him a glimpse of the lower levels; this mall had extended below ground to a certain extent. Maybe there was even an old subway down there. Shinji began to edge around the hole, wanting to see what lay beyond it on this level.

When he felt the ground shift under his feet, it was already too late.

Already pushed to the limit, a chunk of the floor gave way under his weight. Shinji let out a scream of surprise, grasping in vain for some handhold. He tumbled into the hole, the darkness underneath swallowing him up.

Ariel watched the scene carefully. It had been exhilarating at first, merging her mind to another's for the first time in years. Now the stress was starting to come through, from holding herself together, keeping the link she had with Shinji now.

She was seeing things as though through his eyes. She could feel his thoughts at the edge of her own consciousness, listen to them if she wanted. A human would have found the whole task daunting; most people don't want to see what happens in their own heads, let alone inside of others. For Ariel, though, it was second nature.

The view was dark now, through Shinji's unconsciousness. She knew her presence, or perhaps Tabris' power keeping her there, had something to do with the sharpness of this memory. She was forcing his thoughts to coalesce, to repeat an event which Shinji felt was important. Why he felt that way, she didn't understand yet, but she was getting there. Shinji's surface thoughts were murmuring away at her. Ignoring them for a moment, she chanced a deeper look, into some of the other thoughts going through his mind.

It was a difficult process, and disturbing even for her. It was not simply a matter of 'listening'. It was more like she absorbed Shinji's thoughts into herself. Even after leaving him, some small piece would remain, roiling around inside of her until it eventually sank in, becoming part of her. It would not be as extreme an imprint as she'd gotten from Asuka, but it would be there. Knowing this, she still made herself look closer. Both her friendship to Asuka and her fear of Tabris made her stay. She didn't know which was the bigger reason, though.

After a few moments of searching, she felt Shinji's memory continuing, as in his dream, he woke up again.

Shinji came around slowly, his head pounding. He took a breath, and breathed in dust. Spluttering and coughing, he opened his eyes.

He hadn't really been knocked unconscious, just dazed a little by a bump on the head. He'd been lucky; he'd crash-landed through a potted tree, which had broken his fall. He still felt like he'd been flattened, though.

He was dizzy, and couldn't see very well. It felt like he had a light concussion. Holding his head, he wondered if he could risk moving. He realized he'd better risk it; it could be some time before someone came to look for him. A necessary drawback of trying to get away from everyone.

Carefully, he stood. He considered calling for help, but again, no one would be there to hear him. He checked himself over. No broken bones. That was good, for a start.

He tried to figure out where he was, tried to remember what he'd been doing. Exploring...yes, that was it. In a mall. He'd fallen...but by the dim light of things, he was still in the mall, or its ruins anyway. That was good news, sort of. Malls had plenty of ways out. So he wasn't buried here...hopefully.

He looked around. The only light was from up above, and that was dim to begin with. Filtered even further through the holes in the ceiling, it was almost completely dark. He remembered he carried a small flashlight in his pocket, something he'd salvaged one day from a destroyed house. He didn't want to use it, though; there was no telling how long the batteries would last. Besides, his eyes would adjust.

He started walking, slowly, picking his way through the rubble, trying not to trip. His eyes adjusted to the light, as best they could, letting him at least see the outlines of things. That gave him some confidence, letting him move a little faster...until he tripped over something.

"Shit," he mumbled out, as he went face-first into the ground. Instead of hitting hard rock, like he'd been expecting, he fell into something wet. Spluttering, he got up, spitting out whatever he'd crashed into. He wiped the stuff off his face. It was slick, like oil. But what got his attention was the smell. It smelled...like blood.

He twitched. There couldn't be blood down here, right? At least not any blood other than his own. There weren't any other people around, or at least he was pretty sure. Still, it seemed worth a few seconds off of a AA battery. Digging the flashlight out of his pocket, he clicked it on, shining it into the darkness. He panned the beam down onto what he'd fallen into. Shinji twitched again, at what he saw.

It wasn't blood, or water. It was LCL. The orange liquid was spilled onto the floor, making things slick. With no small amount of trepidation, he panned the light up to what he'd tripped on.

A sneaker. Next to it was another sneaker, and above them were socks, pants, and a shirt. They were lying on the floor, looking like their wearer had simply disappeared. Which, Shinji knew, was exactly what had happened.

He shined his light around, seeing more and more abandoned sets of clothes, near their own puddles of LCL. There weren't people here...at least, not anymore.

Shivering, he switched off his light. He could handle seeing it; after all, it was just clothes. For a boy who'd seen corpses, who'd seen homes destroyed and friends murdered by his own hands, a few sets of clothes lying in LCL just weren't that bad. But he still didn't want to look if he could help it. It just reminded him of his situation. He was alone, in a world that had nearly been destroyed.

He kept moving, looking for a way out, picking his way more carefully this time, trying not to listen as his feet splashed through liquid and tripped over more shoes. He thought he found a staircase, but it had collapsed halfway up to the upper level.

He jumped a little in surprise when he heard something heavy hit the ground, far behind him, down the hall he'd been walking. Just some rubble, he thought. This place is getting ready to fall apart. Just a rock hitting the ground. He kept walking. Until he began to hear footsteps, coming from where the "rock" had hit.

"Hello?" he called out. The footsteps stopped for a moment, then picked up again, coming towards him.

Shinji became aware of his heart thudding heavily in his chest. Instinctively not wanting to see whoever it was who was down here with him, he started to walk away from the footsteps. He moved faster as they started gaining on him.

He ducked through stores and down the various branches of the hallways, looking around wildly for a way out. He considered the flashlight, but that would give him away even faster than his own movmement would. Looking over his shoulder, he thought he caught a glimpse of a silhouette, moving behind him.

He moved quickly, taking a sharp turn down another hallway. His heart dropped into his stomach, however, as he saw this was a dead end, the ceiling having caved in no more than twenty meters from where he was. And behind him, whoever-it-was was gaining.

He ducked into a store that looked like it was still in one piece. He ran into a counter almost immediately, bruising his knees. Cursing, he dove over the counter, landing noisily on a pile of broken glass and biting his tongue. Clenching his jaw to keep from shouting out in pain, he massaged sliced hands and picked slivers of glass out of his pants. Then he held his breath; the footsteps had caught up to him.

He heard the footsteps stop briefly, as the person stopped to look around. Shinji felt a brief glimmer of hope as he heard them moving away from him, which was crushed as they advanced on the store.

Shinji pressed himself up against the counter, trying to be invisible. His hand closed on a small, felt-wrapped box, and he picked it up, squeezing it just to have something to distract himself, something to keep him from driving his own fingernails through his palms. He needed it, as he heard the other person entering the store.

"Hello?" a voice asked. "Is anyone in here?" It took a moment for him to realize it, but Shinji recognized that voice.

Someone looked over the counter. In the darkness, he could only see the person's outline.

"M...Misato-san?" he asked.

"Yeah," the dark form answered, then extended a hand towards him. "What're you doing down here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

She helped him up and back over the counter. "I'd heard you went out here, so I thought I'd see what's up. When I saw the hole in the floor...I had to go check. So what're you up to?"

Shinji dusted himself off, trying to get the slivers of glass out of his arms and hands. "Asuka and I had a fight. I just...I wanted to be alone for a little while."

"Maybe not this alone," Misato said, brushing him off. "What's that?" she asked, spotting something in his hand.

"Nothing," Shinji answered. He pocketed the box, feeling more than a little self-conscious now. "Just found something, is all."

Misato looked around. "Not really the place to go looking for supplies," she commented. "Though I do miss shopping."

Shinji followed her eyes, looking down into the ruin of the store. Among the rubble and shattered glass were small glints of polished metal. Looking closer, he saw it was gold, and silver, decorated here and there with small gems. It seemed he'd chosen a jewelery store as his hiding place.

Shinji laughed a little, in spite of himself. "I guess so," he said.

"Come on," Misato said. "I think I saw a way out back there."

Sure enough, back the way they had come, there was a staircase that had not yet collapsed. They were able to reach the upper level, and from there headed outside again.

It had gotten dark while they'd been in there. Shinji brushed himself off, looking out at the world rendered into shades of gray by the moon and stars.

"Shinji, just a little tip from me," Misato began, as they headed back for the camp. "If you want a relationship to work, you can't just keep running away from it whenever things get hard. I know," she continued, cutting Shinji off as he tried to explain himself. "I know you just wanted some time. But even if that's what you say, I think you were still trying to get away. Why would you go into a place like that, anyway?" Shinji didn't answer. "Unless you didn't want to be found," Misato added on.

They walked in silence for awhile longer. Shinji thought about what had happened. Now that Misato had said it out loud, it seemed obvious that she was right. He had just wanted to keep right on walking, not stopping until he ran out of land, until he ran out of people to hurt him, to depend on him when he knew he was going to fail. Remembering back to when the floor fell out from under him, he knew he'd been scared, but at the same time, some small corner of his mind had been relieved, happy that maybe this would be it, maybe his troubles were finally over.

He shivered in the nighttime chill, putting his hands in his pockets. His fingers bumped into the box he'd stuffed there.

"Uh...Misato-san, go on without me...I'll catch up in a minute." At Misato's skeptical look, he forced a small smile. "Don't worry, I won't vanish on you."

Misato gave him a small hug. "Try not to," she said, quietly. Then she left, heading back to the camp without him.

Shinji waited until she was out of sight, then removed the box from his pocket, and opened it up.

Inside was something simple, and yet not: a ring. A band of white gold, looking almost like silver. Three pearls were mounted on the sides - though it looked like there had been more, at some point - and a small diamond mounted at the top. The moonlight played through it, and it winked a rainbow at him.

Carefully, he pulled the ring from the box. He knew what this was. This was what a man gave to a woman when he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. This was something that, before the Impact, would have been very important to someone. Now, it was just a few ounces of metal and jems, worth next to nothing. A small, cold part of Shinji told him to just throw it away, forget he'd ever seen it. It reminded him of the world that no longer existed, the world that, for some reason, he knew he had had a part in destroying. It was just junk. Useless. Even as he thought this, one of the pearls on the ring slipped loose, falling to the ground.

Shinji knelt down quickly, looking over the ground for the tiny pearl. It had vanished, lost in the darkness and the dirt. Useless to look for it. He looked back to the ring, now decorated with only two pearls. The diamond winked at him again.

He hadn't even thought when he'd seen the gem fall. He'd known he had to try to find it. He might say this thing was worthless, but he knew it was far from that. He wanted to protect it. Carefully, he slid it back into the box.

Maybe he could just hide it away somewhere. It could be something to look at, to remind him of the world they might be able to build back up to, some day. That seemed like a plausible explanation for not throwing it away and forgetting he'd ever seen it. But he had a better reason than that.

Maybe some day, he would have a use for this ring. If he found someone he wanted to spend his life with...someone he couldn't live without. Asuka immediately came to mind. He tried to picture her with the ring on. For a moment, he could see their future together. They would be tired from the work and they would fight when the stress got too much. Little habits they each had would drive the other crazy. Asuka, at least, would never admit she needed him. But underneath all that, they would both be happy. They would know that they needed each other, that if ever they were parted they wouldn't rest until they were together again.

At least, that was how it was supposed to go. It sounded like a good future. For a moment, Shinji considered running towards that future, going to Asuka with this ring right now. But...no, it would be better to wait. Even now, doubts were entering his mind, if she was the one he needed more than anything else. It would be best to wait until he was certain.

Until then, he would hide this away.

He headed back to the camp, looking out to the distance, where he could see the silhouette of what had once been an MP Evangelion, kilometers away, practically a speck on the horizon from here. That was all the reminder of the old world he would ever need. 

As he looked at the thing, he felt a little shiver run through him, tickling up his spine and back down again. It was like, for a moment, his blood had turned to ice. Shaking himself, he passed it off quickly as a simple chill. He didn't want to think about it.

After glancing back at the ring he held, he snapped its box shut.

It had been a long day.

Ariel took a sharp breath, her eyes opening again. She'd seen everything, and had heard his thoughts. But when the box had snapped shut, it was as though his mind had snapped shut, as well. But something was wrong. Shinji had not noticed it himself, but that shiver he'd felt...it had been wrong. Too unnatural to just be a chill. It had almost been like...

"What happened?" Kaoru asked her. "Could you help him?"

Ariel put one hand to her head, feeling as though her brain was about to come oozing out through her ears. Her efforts had taken more out of her than she'd though. "I don't know if he needed help," she answered, her voice weak. "But I think I managed a small push."

"Is he all right?" Kaoru asked, firmly.

Ariel thought about it, looking back to Shinji. "Yes," she finally answered. "I believe that now, he is just asleep. He may even wake up soon."

"Then I shall...no, you shall wait for Soryu to wake up," he said, holding her with his eyes. "Think up whatever explanation you want for his recovery."

Ariel closed her eyes for a moment. "How am I supposed to - "

She cut off, as she opened her eyes again, looking at Kaoru. But he was no longer there. She was alone, except for the unconscious forms of Shinji and Asuka.

"Showoff," she muttered to herself. She looked to Asuka, sleeping peacefully. Shinji would likely not be up for a few hours; that would gave her some time to recover her strength. It would also hopefully give her the time to come up with a decent explanation for Shinji's sudden recovery. The doctors would explain it away with their nonsensical terms. Yet some of the smarter people in the camp, like Asuka, might be suspicious. A well-timed suggestion, a random thought she "accidentally" voiced, could hopefully calm them down.

Perhaps the proximity of two Evangelions was enough to awaken his mind after trauma had closed it, she thought. It could work; it was close to the truth. She'd have to think it over, try to figure out how to say it so it sounded natural.

She'd also have to think about what she'd felt. Shinji's reaction, at the end of his dream, had carried a hint of what she felt, every time one of her brethren awakened in the physical world. But that was impossible, she'd been aware of each one to awaken. Given the time frame she'd guessed from the dream, they hadn't even been released yet. So then what could have possibly made that sensation?

She needed time. After taking a moment to catch her breath, she headed for the door.

The haze of sleep began to fade, and Shinji stirred in bed. He groaned, feeling sore. For one blissful moment, he couldn't remember what he'd been doing or where he'd been. The moment passed, and his eyes snapped open. He sat up quickly.

There was a small cry of surprise, and it didn't come from him. As his eyes focused, Shinji looked around, to see where he was. He was on a hospital bed, the rough sheets scraping his skin. Next to the bed, he saw Asuka, looking a little surprised from his sudden movement.

"Shinji?" she asked, still looking startled. "Shinji?" she asked again. Her expression softened, going from surprise over to relief. She looked like she was trying to hold it in, trying through sheer habit to keep her emotions inside behind her impregnable mask. But she was failing; Shinji could see the tears in her eyes.

"Y...yes," Shinji replied. "How'd I - "

He was cut off as Asuka grabbed him, crushing him into a tight hug. She said nothing, but Shinji could hear her sobbing on his shoulder. He put his arms around her, holding her close. Slowly, the events leading up to now began to come back to him.

"I..." Asuka tried to say, unable to catch her breath. "I thought I'd lost you."

"I'm okay," Shinji told her, quietly. "I'm okay." He brushed her hair with his fingers, not saying anything. Nothing needed to be said. Asuka kept her hold on him, quietly crying herself out, hiding her face so he wouldn't see.

After a few minutes, Asuka began to calm down, slowly relaxing her hold on him as the emotions she'd been holding up trickled out. Shinji kept holding her, letting her choose when to break the silence.

Finally, Asuka wiped her eyes and pulled away from him, still keeping her hands on his shoulders, as though to keep him there, keep him from vanishing again. She stared at him, unable to keep away her relieved smile, which for once was able to reach her red-rimmed eyes.

"A lot's happened," she finally said. "But you're all right, now. They say...they say you'll be all right."

"Where's Rei?" Shinji blurted, unable to keep that question inside any longer.

Asuka said nothing, her face suddenly going blank.

"She was hurt..." Shinji continued. He put one hand to his head, trying to dig out the memory of what had happened. "And she didn't have a heartbeat, but she was breathing, but she was bleeding, and..." he shook his head. "Where is she?"

Asuka looked at him with eyes that were slightly narrowed. Any other time, Shinji would have known that look meant he was in trouble. But through a combination of grogginess, disorientation, and painkillers, he just didn't see it.

"She's here," Asuka replied, her voice disturbingly even. "She's hurt, and not awake yet. I'm told she'll pull through." She gave him a little shake. "But how are you? What happened to you?"

Shinji blinked, thinking. "I...can't remember. Not entirely. I remember a bright light, and it hurt..." he put one hand on his back, sliding under the cotton shirt he was wearing. He winced as he felt bandages over the skin there.

"S2 bomb," Asuka answered. "I don't know the specifics. It's like a nuke. And you're full of drugs right now, that's why it doesn't hurt," she continued, pulling his hand away from his back. "The Americans tried to kill you. Twice."

"Twice?"

Asuka touched a spot on his shoulder, where more bandages were binding him together under his shirt. "When you...just showed up, they shot you."

"They what?" Shinji asked, not believing what he was hearing.

"The bastards shot you," Asuka said with a grimace. "After they tried to nuke you."

Shinji's eyes widened, thinking about that. He knew there'd been a reason for the bomb...the MP Eva...

"The fight," he said quickly. "What happened? Is that big Eva still - "

Asuka put one finger to his lips, stopping him. "You got it," she answered him. "It's dead."

Shinji felt some of the tension leave him. He lay back down on the bed, letting out a long breath. "Thank God..."

Asuka held his hand. "You're too tough for something like that, right, Shinji-chan?"

Shinji managed a small smile at Asuka's pet name for him.

"Rest up," she said. "I'll be here when you get up."

"Asuka..." he called weakly after her, as she turned to go. 

Her hand on the doorknob, Asuka looked back to him. "Yeah?"

"Could you just...check in on Rei for me? Tell her I'm all right?"

Asuka stared at him, saying nothing. A moment later, she walked purposely towards the bed.

"Asuka?" he asked her, a little nervous.

She climbed onto the bed, on top of him. "Don't worry about her," she said, quietly. Shinji could feel her body heat seeping into him. "She's all right. So just..." she whispered, lowering her face towards his, "...forget about her."

Then her lips touched his, and Shinji did as he was told. He put his arms around her, feeling her body trembling under his touch. Asuka's lips were soft and warm. Yet as they continued, he felt her opening her mouth. Not quite knowing what was happening, Shinji opened his as well. Asuka moaned a little as her tongue slid into his mouth.

Shinji breathed faster, his heartbeat accelerating in sympathy as he felt Asuka's heart beating against his chest. Asuka put her hands on his face, holding him in place as she continued the kiss. But then, her hands started to move down, touching his shirt, grabbing it tightly and starting to pull it off.

Shinji made a surprised noise, muffled by Asuka's mouth. She broke the kiss then, yanking his shirt over his head before he could resist. She grabbed at her own shirt then, starting to lift it up. He caught a glimpse of her bare abdomen and looked away on reflex.

"Don't worry," Asuka purred, touching his chin, guiding his eyes back to her. "Just this once, Shinji-chan...you can look."

He and Asuka had made out before. They even slept in the same bed. But it had always been innocent - well, mostly - and they hadn't yet seen each other naked. Shinji guessed they were both just too frightened of being hurt, scared of taking the next step. Even now, he was scared enough to be rendered motionless, mesmerized as Asuka removed her shirt, throwing it away carelessly. He completely forgot how tired and sick he felt.

She wore no bra underneath, and Shinji saw all. He had seen naked women before, usually by accident. This was entirely different. She was beautiful.

He saw marks on her, angry scars that had never healed right. There were easily a half-dozen of them, boring through her chest and stomach. If he'd been able to see, he would have seen those scars mirrored by similar marks on her back. It was like she had been speared through, randomly and lethally.

He'd known something would be there. Asuka's right arm was scarred all along its length, looking like it had been split in half and then put back together. Another faint scar ran across her eye. They were all marks from the old world, the one they'd left behind. But even though he'd known it was coming, he was still shocked by the injuries. He felt a combination of fear, and sympathy for the girl. He knew without looking that her face was showing true fear, afraid of rejection, now that he'd seen her. Afraid she was somehow flawed.

Somewhat roughly, she grabbed his hand, lifting it to her chest. "It's all right," she said, pressing his hand onto her body.

It was then that the door opened.

"Hello?" came a voice from outside. "Anyone awake yet?" In the dark, a hand fumbled for the light switch.

"Don'tturniton!" Asuka shouted at him, sharply.

Yet she was not fast enough. The lights flickered on, and they were both looking at Kensuke Aida, standing in the doorway, his hand still on the switch.

Kensuke's mouth was open, as though to say something, but no words were coming out. His eyes just stared, going wide behind his glasses, as his cheeks quickly went red.

"Get out," Asuka growled.

"I...I..." he stammered.

"OUT!" she screamed at him.

Kensuke backpedaled away from the door, running into the far wall and hitting his head.

"Uh...s...sorry, Shinji, I...damn...I...sorry." He turned and ran as fast as he could, not stopping until he was outside the building.

Kensuke took a minute to catch his breath outside of the building. Despite the fact that it would be a good way to go, he was fortunate that a half-dressed Asuka was not running out to kill him.

Shinji and Asuka...'whoa', was all his mind could manage. The part of his mind which was controlled by testosterone could only think to cheer Shinji on.

The rest of his mind needed some time to recover from what he'd seen. When Toji had told him a lifetime ago that he and Hikari had 'gotten a little crazy', to use the boy's own words, Kensuke had had trouble believing it. Despite hearing the words, despite seeing Hikari pregnant later on, he just hadn't been able to believe that two of his friends were now more than friends towards each other. Now it was happening again. He hoped he would be able to take it better, this time around.

He walked away from the hospital, heading for the place he always went when he had nowhere else to go: the Evas. It took a few minutes for him to reach them, during which his mind spun its figurative wheels. When he got there, he was able to forget - for a moment - what he'd seen happening back in the hospital.

Unit-04 was a barely recognizable lump of metal. Through conversations with Kaoru and some of the other people associated with the machines, as well as eavesdropping on the occasional exchange he shouldn't have, he'd heard that most of the explosion generated by the S2 bomb had gone into destroying the MP Eva. Only about 5 percent of the total yield had been left over. But 5 percent of something with the power of a hydrogen bomb is still quite a bit, and Unit-04 hadn't been very far from ground zero. He didn't know if it could be fixed, but they'd gone to the trouble of carrying it back, so that was a good sign.

Unit-00 was a mess as well, but it looked better than it had immediately after the battle. It had been...healing. He couldn't think of another word for it. With almost no help from technicians and engineers, the Eva repaired itself, the breached armor re-growing and knitting back together, broken limbs setting themselves, the shattered cyclopean 'eye' snapping back together on its own. In the moonlight, kneeling down, unpowered, it looked almost pristine.

Despite the fact that Unit-00 was much better to look at, Kensuke couldn't keep his eyes off of Unit-04. Just for a moment back there, he'd been living his own dream. It had been his Eva. And just because he couldn't keep from pushing the big red button...well, was it really his fault? Everyone knew big red buttons were irresistable. It was just human nature.

He sat down, feeling more secure among these sleeping titans than he did back in his bed. He didn't know how much time passed like that, but after a while, footsteps approached him.

"Hey," a gruff voice began. "You can't sleep, either?"

Kensuke looked up, seeing the large silhouette of Colonel Lewis against the stars. He looked away quickly. "Yeah," he muttered.

Lewis stood next to him, putting his hands in his pockets. He said nothing for a few minutes, just looking at the Evas with him. Kensuke had not spoken much with the American commander since the last battle. Much like everyone else in the camp, he knew who had fired the bomb that, by all rights, should have killed Shinji. He also knew this man had punched Asuka in the face when she'd gone to talk to him. By all rights, he should hate this man. It wasn't like everyone else in the Japanese part of the camp didn't.

But he couldn't bring himself to feel something as strong as hatred for Lewis. Every time he thought about what the man had done, he kept thinking back to the strategic computer games he used to play obsessively, games where he'd headed an army, making warfare against an enemy. In those games, losing soldiers was just a matter of course, and if a few had needed to be sacrificed to secure a win, he'd done it without blinking. That was different from real life, where the ones being sent to die were real people. But Kensuke was sharp enough to realize that the commanders of real armies often had to forget that their soldiers were human beings. Otherwise, they'd go insane.

Lewis' ability to throw away a few lives to save many wasn't something that Kensuke saw as monstrous. It was just different. But the difference alone, thrown into such sharp relief by the most recent battle, was enough to make the man more intimidating than ever.

"You want to come inside for a little bit?" Lewis asked. "You look like you're at loose ends."

You tried to blow up my friend, Was all Kensuke could think. Yet still, he found himself replying with a "Sure." In all honesty, he was afraid to say no.

They headed back for the American side of the camp. "Tough night?" Lewis asked.

You pushed the button. "Sort of," Kensuke replied. The image of Asuka climbing onto Shinji flashed into his head. He found he wanted to talk about it. More than he'd wanted anything before, he wanted someone to talk to about what he'd seen. And Lewis was right here. But...the man had tried to kill his friend.

"What do you do when you can't sleep?" Kensuke asked, needing to talk about something, even if it wasn't about Shinji and Asuka.

"Give myself a good hearty nerve-pinch," Lewis replied. When Kensuke looked up disbelievingly at the man, Lewis grinned. "Kidding. I drink 'til whatever it is that's keeping me up just doesn't seem so bad anymore."

"There a lot of things like that? That keep you awake, I mean."

"More than I care to count." Lewis' tent came into sight. "Come on, one of your pals dropped in awhile ago, too. Everyone's awake tonight, seems like."

Kensuke found out who a moment later. Inside the tent, Ariel sat at a small card table, looking tired. She looked up at them as they entered.

"Aida-kun," she acknowledged, giving him a small nod.

"Found the lady out by the big robots, too," Lewis explained. "Said she wanted to talk. Figured it was worth a shot."

"What about?" Kensuke asked, taking a seat at the table.

"His most recent discussion with Asuka," Ariel answered, looking disinterested. She left it at that. 

Lewis sat down heavily, looking tired. "Coulda sworn that girl just wanted to talk. Probably didn't mean for it to get out of hand like that. Can't really blame her for how she reacted, though."

"You say it like her black eye was her fault," Ariel commented, fixing Lewis with a glance.

"I said I was sorry," he muttered. "Self-defense, anyway. No jury'd convict me. Anyway," he said, looking to Kensuke. Kensuke was a bit intimidated by the almost eager look in Lewis' eyes. He's using me to change the subject.

"We were talking, and I spotted you out there through the flap," Lewis explained. "Thought you might want a little company."

Kensuke swallowed. He'd felt a little bloom of warmth in his chest when he'd seen Ariel here. She was a very attractive young woman, and her bizarre hair coloration and aloof personality just made her mysterious, which was even more enticing. She and Asuka were usually inseparable, but for obvious reasons she was not with her friend right now. That train of thought immediately brought on the mental image of Shinji with both Asuka and Ariel. Kensuke shook his head, trying to get rid of that image.

Now, he was beginning to think that he would have been better off outside. It was a little cold out there, but not bad. In the tent, Lewis had a space heater going, which actually made it rather warm. Ariel had broken a little sweat, which made her shirt cling to her and made it even harder for Kensuke to get his thoughts straight. This was not what he needed right now, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. He was, after all, a young man.

"So what's your excuse?" Lewis asked Kensuke. "Just can't get your eyes shut tonight?"

"Uh...nightmares," Kensuke answered. It was at least a believeable lie. He was pretty sure neither Asuka nor Shinji would want him telling the American commander what they were up to.

"Really. Same all around, I guess," Lewis answered.

Kensuke glanced over to Ariel, whose eyes were fixed on a point on the table. "Bad dreams, Ni-san?"

"Yes," she answered curtly. "Dreams I would rather not have seen."

"I know the feeling." Ariel did not look at him, but she nodded, quietly.

Lewis had a cigarette in his mouth, and with the 'click-chk' of a lighter, had it burning. "Either of you smoke?" he asked, dropping the pack of cigarettes on the table.

Kensuke immediately shook his head. Ariel looked like she was considering it, but said nothing.

"Ain't this good company," Lewis commented, getting up for a moment. He headed to the back of the tent, and Kensuke could hear the clink of glasses.

Ariel finally looked up from the table then, meeting Kensuke's eyes. Her gaze nailed him in place. "Normally I visit Asuka when I am having a tough night. But she was asleep when I last saw her. Do you know if she's awake?"

"Yes!" Kensuke answered automatically. "I mean no. I mean no, I haven't seen her. Recently. I haven't seen her recently. At all. I mean, I'm no stalker and I don't know where she is and there's no way to tell and you said she was asleep but she's not in her bed or anyone else's so I don't know maybe she just - " 

His babble was cut off as Ariel held up a hand. "All right," she said. "I just asked if you'd seen her. I...saw something earlier and I want to talk to her about it."

Kensuke swallowed. "Um...c-can you talk to m...anyone else about it?"

Ariel blinked, looking at him. "It is not really anyone else's concern. Except perhaps Ikari-kun's, provided he doesn't know already. Given the state of his mind, that's possible." She paused, keeping her eyes on Kensuke. "I would ask you where Ikari is, but I don't know if I want to hear the answer."

"You don't," Kensuke answered quickly. "Just...uh...just talk to him, or Asuka in the morning. They'll be together...at least I guess so, I think that's how it works, and Shinji's not the kind to..." he trailed off, at the questioning look he was getting from Ariel.

"You are very strange," she commented.

Kensuke shrank a little. "Sorry," he said. "Just a little tired, I guess."

"That's not a bad thing," Ariel said. "Being strange, I mean. I know I am quite strange."

"No you're not," he said. "Now Ayanami, she's the strange one. 'Course she's always been that way, but you're almost normal compared to her...what?" he asked.

Ariel was giving him a look that Kensuke knew quite well, having received it a number of times from Asuka. It was a hard-eyed, thin-  
lipped expression of anger, just barely kept under control. "Do not. Compare me. To Rei," Ariel said, firmly.

Kensuke said nothing to this, his mouth having gone dry. Screwed up, he thought to himself. Now she hates me. He couldn't help wondering why she referred to Rei by her first name, though, if she hated her so much.

Lewis returned then, with three glasses full of clear liquid.

"Sometimes a drink helps out," he said, putting a glass down in front of each of them as he sat down.

Kensuke eyed his glass cautiously. "What is this?" he asked. He remembered the last time he'd let Lewis give him something to drink. It had been like drinking molten iron.

"Just water," Lewis answered, straight-faced.

"Oh." He glanced back at Ariel, and his throat dried again; she still had that angry expression. Without hesitating a moment longer, he picked up his glass and had a drink.

"I lied, it's vodka," Lewis said quickly, as the taste of it hit Kensuke's tongue.

Kensuke's body reacted on its own, trying to expel the stuff in his mouth. He managed to keep himself from vomiting or even from gagging too much, but he couldn't keep from spitting out the vodka in a nearly explosive spray over the table.

Spluttering, Kensuke put his glass back on the table and wiped off his eyes, which were watering. He looked back up at the others. Lewis was visibly suppressing a laugh, seeing the success of his little joke. He'd known what was coming and had leaned back, out of the way of Kensuke's violent spit.

Ariel, however, had not been so lucky. Not only had she been directly across from Kensuke and thus unable to get out of the way by simply leaning back, she had been distracted at the time and hadn't looked up until she was already soaked. She was now glaring at Kensuke with narrow eyes, looking quite a bit like a drowned kitten.

"Oh..." Kensuke croaked, his voice having trouble working. His throat had closed up, both from the alcohol and from the sight of Ariel herself, whose shirt was now drenched and clinging to her, highlighting every single curve to a degree he hadn't thought possible until just now. He tried to apologize, but the words weren't coming.

Ariel calmly brushed the damp hair out of her eyes, and got up. She walked away, going behind Kensuke, who didn't bother to look up.

"There is no way this night can get worse," he mumbled to himself, inadvertently saying the words which always tempt Fate to prove you wrong.

Kensuke jumped as Ariel stepped up behind him and dumped the contents of a large canteen of water over his head. The liquid was quite cold and made him yelp, shivering as the temperature settled in.

"Lady pays her debts," Lewis commented, laughing.

"I try to pay back people who wrong me," Ariel said, a small grin on her own face as she headed back around to her seat. She picked up her own glass and downed it in one shot.

"Got some practice there?" Lewis asked, producing the bottle he'd poured the vodka from.

"I know how to drink," Ariel answered, simply.

Kensuke managed to dry himself off. A lot of things were going through his head now, the strongest being he'd just been beaten by a girl, in more ways than one.

"Let me try that again," he said, pushing his glass towards Lewis, who obligingly filled it again, diluting it with a bit of water from another canteen. Kensuke tried it gingerly, letting himself swallow this time around.

"Wait."

Asuka, who'd been kissing Shinji's neck, stiffened a bit at his word. She looked up at him. "What?"

"Just...wait a minute."

"I don't want to." She went back to his neck, then.

Once Kensuke had bolted, Asuka had taken a moment to switch off the light again - and lock the door - before getting back into bed with Shinji. She had tried very hard to pick up where she'd left off. And yet, despite the fact that Shinji felt himself responding, despite the fact that Asuka's chest pressed against his own was quite pleasant, Shinji found himself hesitating.

"You...you don't have to do this," he tried.

"What?" she asked, sounding worried.

"You...you're trying to force it," he mumbled to her. "I don't think..." he swallowed nervously. "...I don't think you're ready. Don't think we're ready, I mean."

"Yes we are," she said quickly.

Shinji did something that was very difficult for him. Placing his hands on Asuka's shoulders, he pushed her up, off of him. 

"What is it?" she asked, looking almost betrayed.

Shinji had to force himself to keep looking at her face. If he looked any lower, he might forget what he was doing.

"It's just...I'm tired right now. I just...want to sleep." It was the truth; despite the fact that he'd just regained consciousness, it still felt like he'd run for miles.

Asuka's expression then was enough to make Shinji regret waking up. He knew he was hurting her, but...something inside of him said that doing anything else would just end up hurting her even more.

Asuka finally looked away, closing her eyes as well. "I am such an idiot..." she mumbled to herself. "I just wanted to...you were back, and I thought you were dead, and then..." she went quiet then, climbing off of him and going over to the corner, fumbling for her shirt in the dark.

"Asuka, I just - "

"Shut up," she bit out. Finding her shirt, she pulled it back on. Then she climbed back into bed with him.

"Asuka?"

"Say anything more and you'll regret it," she said. She put her arms around him, lying down next to him. "You can sleep. But let me be here, too."

"A...all right," he said, hestitantly. He closed his eyes, trying to relax. Slowly, the excitement of the moment passed, and he felt himself beginning to fall asleep.

"I'm sorry," Asuka whispered in his ear.

"Don't be," he replied. He put his arm around her, squeezing her shoulders. "One day, when we're ready, we'll...finish this."

"...Promise?"

"Promise."

A person's tolerance to alcohol is a function both of their body weight and their experience with it. Neither Kensuke nor Ariel weighed very much. Neither were they big drinkers. Despite what Ariel said about knowing how to drink, that knowledge had come from Asuka. Ariel herself had never had a serious drink in her life. Until just now.

The result of all that was that the both of them were quite tipsy in a very short amount of time.

"Sho, sho, waitaminut," Ariel slurred. "Yur sayin' yu saw...wha?"

"I'm sr'ious," Kensuke answered. "They wer all lik, 'whoo hoo' in bed." For some reason, this seemed very funny. He started laughing. Ariel joined in.

"An' you din't stay to...uh...to watch?" Ariel asked, after she'd had a chance to catch her breath.

Still giggling to himself, Kensuke just shrugged. "Well, you know Shin...he need'd to be alone, you know? With his grrl."

"As'ka 'd bust his balls, I'm shure. I know herrr."

Kensuke tried to look at her like he didn't believe her, but only succeeded in putting on a face that made both of them start laughing again.

"Yu dun't know 'er tha well," he finally said.

"Oh, try me," Ariel countered. "I know evr'ythin in her. We're real close."

That statement made Kensuke's drunk mind conjure up a certain image. He went red.

"All right, I cut people off at the lesbian jokes," Lewis commented, taking away the now-empty bottle of vodka, along with a few others that had joined it in the past hour. "If you two can't get to sleep now, you never will."

"Oh, all right," Kensuke mumbled, trying to get to his feet. He wobbled for a few moments before catching his balance.

"Figure you can get back on your own?" Lewis asked him.

"We're good. Goooooood," Ariel answered, finding her own feet. "I know where I shleep." She looked thoughtful for a moment, then pointed in a random direction. "Tha way."

"Believe me, I think I should walk you," Lewis said. "But right now I'd rather run barefoot through a mine field go to your side of the camp." He got them to to the tent flap, and gently pushed them outside. "Sleep it off, OK?"

"Yah, we shleep it off," Kensuke said, mostly just repeating Lewis' words without understanding them.

Stumbling and staggering, the pair started off towards the Japanese side of the camp. It was normally a ten-minute walk, at most.

"Wun'der how it was?" Kensuke asked to no one in particular. "I mean, Sh'nji and As'ka gettin' it on."

"Could go watch," Ariel said in between staggers. "Mig't be fuuuun."

They both laughed again at this, which again seemed funny for no reason.

"Nah, he needs his time." Kensuke thought about that. "I need t'be askin' him about it, tho," he said, after a moment. "Toji don't tell me nothin' 'bout it. My'be Sh'nji'll open up."

"Wha?"

"Lookit me," Kensuke said, pounding himself on the chest. "I'm the on'ly one of us now. On'ly one still...uh..." he trailed off, unable to remember the word he wanted. "Still vir...uh...virg...uh...still alone."

His mood shifted quickly then, as he realized this was very sad. He started singing a very off-key version of 'All By Myself,' something he'd heard one too many times on the radio. Ariel thought it was truly moving. She started to cry.

Kensuke watched as Ariel stopped walking and sat down on the ground, wiping at her teary eyes.

"Wha's wrong?" he asked, doing the world a favor by not singing any more.

"I'm just..." Ariel trailed off, then caught her breath. "I'm tired."

Kensuke sat down, not too close but not too far from her. "Me too."

"I wanna go home."

"Me too."

They sat quietly for a moment, before Ariel started shaking her head. "No, I mean...really go home."

"Me too." Kensuke was starting to feel like a broken record.

"You dun't get it!" Ariel shouted, lunging at him, tackling him and pinning him to the ground. "Any'whre I go, any'whre, it's not home fur me. No'whre in the world."

Kensuke blinked, looking up at her tear-streaked face not five centimeters from his own. He'd raised one hand to catch her as she'd lunged at him. That hand now felt like it was on something soft and round. That realization scrambled his mind even more than it already was. "Wha?" was all he could manage.

Ariel pointed, again without looking. This time, however, she was pointing up, at the night sky. "Tha's where I'm from. I wanna go back there. High up, so no one hurt me."

Kensuke blinked again. "Yur in the sky?"

Ariel shook her head again. "No, higher."

Kensuke thought about that. His science-fiction addled brain finally came to a conclusion.

"Yur an..." he looked back and forth quickly to see if anyone was listening, then lowered his voice. "Yur an...alien?"

Ariel sat up, finally getting off of him. She looked like she was trying to think very hard about something.

"Well, yur close," she said. She started flapping her arms then, like wings.

Kensuke was still lying on the ground, flexing the hand that had been on her. He wondered if Shinji had ever been in that position before.

"I jus' wanna go home," Ariel mumbled to herself, going still again.

Kensuke remained on the ground; he liked it down there. "Al'rig, I'll help ya," he said. "I'll...uh..." his eyes fell on the Evangelions, distant but still quite visible due to their massive size. "I'll get in Unit-04 and throw you high enough. But I..." he said, as he remembered something. "I don't think that'll work...Unit-04 dun't like me."

"It dun't know you," Ariel replied, not looking at him. "I know it, it's got Lel...uh...Lel-i-el inside it. It dun't like 'umans, 'cept that Shi...uh...Shin...'whoo hoo' boy. An' it lets him in 'cause it's 'fraid of him."

"How're yu knowin' tha?"

"I'm that good," she replied, with a self-satisfied grin. "Maybe I can talk to it...no," she shook her head. "I'm not gettin' in one of those thin's...I got it!" she declared. "I can make it so Lel-i-el like you." She leaned over him.

"How're yu gunna do...mmmmph..." he was cut off as Ariel pressed her lips down onto his.

As first kisses go, it was different, to say the least. Fairly innocent, at least as innocent as two drunk teenagers can get. Kensuke was too surprised to try slipping his hand back to where it had been a second ago.

After a second, Kensuke felt a shock of something, like sticking his tongue on a battery. It seemed to pass from Ariel and into him, sending a tremor through his entire body.

Ariel sat up again, breathing in. She'd been holding her breath. "There," she said. "Now Unit-04'll like you. I think."

Kensuke tried to say something, but couldn't. Ariel stood up again, swaying a bit. "I'm goin' to bed," she said, staggering off towards the camp.

Kensuke decided to stay right where he was. There was no chance he'd be able to walk, not now. Besides, it wasn't too cold out, and the ground felt so nice. So he just closed his eyes, and dreamed of things he wished he'd been able to do when the mysterious white-haired girl had been in front of him.

Yet as sleep began to take him, something happened. Like some beast that had crept up and pounced, a chill settled in. He shook, holding himself as his body spasmed, frozen to the bones, for a moment.

It passed, slowly. Kensuke sat up, feeling a bit more sober. Maybe it was a bit colder outside than he'd thought it was. He felt sick inside. Part of it was from the alcohol, he knew. But some of it wasn't. It was some sort of nameless fear, an instinct that something had just happened, something very wrong.

Shaking himself, he started back towards the camp. 

And kilometers away, one of the frozen statues of the MP Evas began to move.

Endnote: as you'd expect, "All By Myself" is not my property. All terms in the disclaimer apply to that song as well.

My apologies for the very long delay. Looking down at my standard dates below this note, I can see it's been too long. School and life have a way of hindering my fanfiction progress. In fact, as I write this very endnote, I'm sitting in school, getting ready to go to class. My apologies to all my fans for this. However, Angels of Armageddon will continue, until the end.

Started: August 17, 2004 Ended: January 27, 2005

Thanks go to Avatar of Dragonia for many ideas involving the first part of this chapter, i.e. Shinji's dream.

Apologies also go to all my prereaders for not sending this chapter to them first. I had to satisfy the ravenous fans, you know. 


End file.
